Orphan Black 3×05 – Scarred by Many Past Frustrations

5...4...3...2...1...Helena's shackled but they're idiots if they think that'll stop her

5…4…3…2…1 Helena’s shackled but they’re idiots if they think that’ll stop her

Previously: Ginger Gracie lost her baby and was banished from the Prolethians. Alison and Donnie met the drug boss with the worst hair in town. Helena gives up her chance to escape when she mercy kills a tortured male clone. As always, Helena is the best. Sarah finds the original DNA in a baby skeleton and is rewarded by Mark. Or is she?

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Game of Thrones 5.6 – Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

Okay. Okay. I hope you guys like the F word, because there’s going to be a LOT of it in this recap. A lot a lot.

flipping the bird-icorn

ACCURATE DEPICTION OF ME

We open with the purification of bodies and end with the pollution of one. Hey, guess where my cussing is going to be? But we’ll get to that in a second. I want to say how proud I am of myself for not deleting this whole website and moving into a yurt. So good job, me. Continue reading

Game of Thrones 5.5 – Kill The Boy

Guys, thanks for carrying on the conversation last week after I disappeared from our comments/board. I love that everyone has great (spoiler free) chats with each other. I feel like Daenerys watching her dragons growing up… [sniff]

Previously! But this episode opens with the big question: Did Grey Worm live?? Missandei watches over him, wringing her hands with worry as she wonders if he’ll wake. Daenerys watches over Ser Barristan, who won’t. Hasn’t. Will never. *sniff for Ser Barristan the Bold* And she is pissed. Her solution? Round up the heads of every one of the great families and bring them to her. So… sorry Hizdahr, but you gots ta go.

Daenerys Targaryen with her dragons on Mother's Day

Even when her child ignites and eats other children. Maybe especially then. MOTHER OF THE YEAR, NAILED IT.

The Mother of Dragons is awakening, I do believe. Hell. Yes. Continue reading

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Orphan Black 3×04 – Newer Elements of Our Defense

Helena will right the wrongs and wrong the rights and steal your heart and eat some pork chops

Helena will right the wrongs and wrong the rights and steal your heart and eat some pork chops

Previously: Cosima did some brain-removin’, Alison and Donnie started some drug dealing’, Rachel started some speech therapin’, Art did some love confession’, Rudy did some thumb suckin’ and Bonnie did some gun shootin’.

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Game of Thrones – Google Maps Style

This is too cool not to share, and?!?! it’s spoiler free! Made by MongoLife and available for sale on Etsy!

google map style map of Westeros

[search Restaurants, Dragon-Positive Inns near here]

Game of Thrones 5.4 – Sons of the Harpy

First off, I want to thank Super Reader Tran for the generous donation to keep the website going! We have our yearly bill coming up, so it was timely and very appreciated. THANK YOU!

But back to GoT… Previously! My daughter just saw the Harpy on the Merreen pyramid and said, “Boob eagle!” So in my head, that’s what I’m calling them from now on. Look, you understand religion in your way, let me understand it in mine. Interesting to note that only one of the Westeros religions praises sex while the others condemn it. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

A LOT happened this episode, and if you don’t think these first four eps are the tightest the of the show’s history, then:

how dare you

HOW VERY DARE YOU

ETA: And as always, be sure to read through our AWESOME, SPOILER FREE comments section, where some of the liveliest convos are happening. (I have a few theories about Specific Name Dropping in them, for example!)

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Orphan Black 3×03 – Formalized, Complex, and Costly

Let's all toast to the deceased moustache

Let’s all toast to the deceased moustache

Previously: Seth’s moustache is mercy killed, Helena ate salad, Pupok wants mangoes, Hot Paul was hot.

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Game of Thrones 5.3 – High Sparrow

Previously! Can I just say that from a writing/story-telling perspective, this season just might be the tightest? The flawless transitions from character to country and back again, moving all around the globe to tell a cohesive, forward-moving narrative is outstanding. And again, I’m not a book reader, this ain’t the place for book talk, so from an “I only know what I see onscreen each week” perspective, I’m seriously loving season five. (Reminder I’m Unsullied, please please leave book talk to other websites please and thank you and forehead kisses.)

Arya sweeping House of Black and White

Our little Cinder earning her keep.

And my hat’s off to the set designers, both physical and CGI because damn. We lead off with a beautiful opening shot of a dank room lined with statues of the old kings? The old sigils? Was that a lion’s head? A drowned man, oh, I recognize the weirwood god… And a fire burns within a stone heart. (Same. That would be my House’s sigil. Ha, I’m kidding, it would be a hand grasping for a mostly empty wine bottle, obv.) Continue reading

Orphan Black 3×02 – Transitory Sacrifices of Crisis

All Helena and Pupok want are some gee-dee mangoes, is that so difficult to make happen?

All Helena and Pupok want are some gee-dee mangoes, is that so difficult to make happen?

Previously: Helena was in a box with her new pal the scorpion, Delphine went to dark places, Cosima got dumped, Alison played Sarah and wants to run for School Trustee, Sarah played Rachel and tried to strangle a guy and there was a cute naked butt that wasn’t Hot Paul’s but I’ll allow it.

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Game of Thrones 5.2 – The House of Black and White

Previously! Thought before we get into it: someone somewhere mentioned that Podrick had shown proficiency with regards to knowing banners, sigils, etc, so why on earth didn’t he notice House Tully passing? My guess, but I couldn’t make it out on my giant-ass tv screen for certain, is that the sigil waving on those flags was Littlefinger’s newly chosen sigil: the Mockingbird. Podrick wouldn’t know about it. Thoughts? Well, save them until the end, we have VERY IMPORTANT STUFF to talk about first!

House of Black and White Game of Thrones,Braavos house of Black and White

A MAN needs some chapstick.

Like how Braavos steampunk-moustrap was back on the map! And it’s because Arya is finally entering the city! (Love the lore about the Titan coming to life and smashing enemies in days of old. I’m going to love these books when I finally get to read them, aren’t I?) And hey, there’s your reminder that I am UNSULLIED. Do not—I beg of you—discuss the books here, neither overt nor veiled. Be cool. Literally the rest of the internet is for you book readers. But down here, it’s our [non-reader] time. It’s our time down here. [Obligatory Goonies reference] Continue reading