Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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Also, for further reading: previous recaps for Captain America: The First Avenger and The Avengers.

First, I’m gonna link to this opinion from Vulture about how Captain America is irrelevant because he’s not a grumbly jerk like Christopher Nolan’s Batman or whatever. If the only way you can enjoy a superhero is if they’re doing unheroic things and acting like an asshole, then you’re maaaaybe the most boring person in the world, and most assuredly very annoying to talk to. Steve Rogers was a breath of fresh air in a genre clogged with unpleasant dudes we would hate to know in real life, and he’s even more so in this movie–he proves you can be damaged and sad and lost and still essentially good, and complicated as a character.

There are plenty of superheroes I’d like to be, because they’ve got cool powers or money or robot suits or architectural facial hair. There’s only one superhero I want to be like, and that’s HERBIE POPNECKER, THE FAT FURY Captain America. I mean, not in the rah rah American military power way (and WOW was this a subversion of that idea), but in the way that he’s likable and stands up for others and himself, and that he inspires people to be the best versions of themselves, and he can bench a human being like it’s nothing probably. Continue reading

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Game of Thrones 4.2 – The Lion And The Rose

OH HEY HI HOW ARE YOU THINGS AREN’T CRAZY EVERYTHING IS JUST AS I EXPECTED WITH NOT ONE GEE DEE SHOCK OF ANY KIND AT ALL HOW’S THE CHICKEN????

Here, have a peaceful image of a tree.

Here, have a peaceful image of a tree.

[Previously] But. What. WHAT did I just watch?  Red Wedding? Tuh-rumped. In a totally different way, though.

Me: Nothing can shock me like the Red Wedding.
Show: BITCH YOU KNOW NOTHING. YOU HAVE HAD IT WRONG FROM THE START. YOUR CHIN HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN TO DROP.

Continue reading

Game of Thrones 4.1 – Two Swords

Oh, was this show coming back? I almost forgot about it.

[breathing intensifies]

[breathing intensifies]

PREVIOUSLY! Blood! Mayhem! My learning the most valuable lesson of all: if you love it, it will be brutally murdered in front of your face. Good lesson, that. Wow, does the Red Wedding still hurt. *pounds chest* Also, the show’s “Previously” led seamlessly into a bee-you-tea-ful moment with a certain someone’s broadsword. [Player Ned Stark has entered the Game!] Continue reading

Walking Dead 4.16 – A

Let's talk about this kid and the amazing growth he's shown from Season 1.

Let’s talk about this kid and the amazing growth he’s shown from Season 1.

[Previously] GUYS. Guys. GUYS. I’m not going to say I told you so, but we all know I did.  Hahaha, like what Terminus was wasn’t telegraphed a mile away. Also, we’ve all read/seen The Road, and played Fallout (or you SHOULD HAVE.) Wow, there was a lot of channeling of The Road in this episode. Also, I think overall this ep worked. Maybe not the way the writers/final edit wanted in some places, but come on, let’s get to it.  Continue reading

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1×12 – Prophecy Girl

 

Buffy's about to have a couple of pretty crappy days

Buffy’s about to have a couple of pretty crappy days

Well suckers, here we are. The last episode of season one. Things are about to get cray-cray, as you young kids say. You guys still say that, right? Cowabunga!

Previously: We learned that Cordy has layers and can be pretty decent but then she kinda went back to her old self and that was that :sad face: Buffy defeated an invisible girl and still longs for her old days of being popular. Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, Buffy. I guess having Giles, Willow and Xander isn’t enough. Angel/David Boredom gave Giles the Book of Codex, stayed away from Buffy, and looked depressed and beautiful AS ALWAYS.

Continue reading

Hannibal Recap Hiatus

Hey, everybody, let’s huddle in and take a knee for a second.

When Laura first started this website, her goal was the systematic and devastating mind-control takeover of the human race to provide a place for people to write and talk about their favorite shows and movies, and for people who enjoyed things to come and enjoy them freely, without having to worry about writers who hated what they were writing about, or fighting with other fans. Positivity was the main goal, here, and I think she’s succeeded. This is a great place full of great, thoughtful people who really love the things they love.

This is, unfortunately, why I have to take a bit of a break from recapping Hannibal. Continue reading

Walking Dead 4.15 – Us

AND BRING CONDOMS :D /sexy bass line

AND BRING CONDOMS :D /sexy bass line

Previously! In this penultimate episode, we had theories on dinosaurs, sad and lonely Tom cats, reunions, and no sign of Beth…OR WAS THERE? Also, you didn’t think I would go into this recap without telling you how to make a penny battery, did you? Oh, have I got protips for you. AND THEORIES. Let’s dive in. Continue reading

Supernatural 9.16 – Blade Runners

You probably noticed that there’s an episode missing between this recap and the previous one. Or maybe you didn’t. The point is, no, nothing happened. My internet didn’t go down, I didn’t have to rush my nonexistent goldfish to the vet. Nothing. What happened was, I just didn’t care enough about 9.15 #THINMAN to bother. And that’s a shame, because hello! Ghostfacers! Alas, not enough. In fact I really didn’t even pay attention to it, however I remember feeling a bit concussed after having all those supersized anvils fall on my head. When you’re 12% paying attention and 88% alternately playing Cookie Jam and Covet on your phone, but the anvils still get’cha? The episode has a problem.

Let us never speak of it again.

So, in all honesty, I had low expectations for this episode, so color me delightfully surprised to be completely sucked right back in.

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Continue reading

Hannibal 2.3: Hassun

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Hannibal airs Fridays at 10pm on NBC

PREVIOUSLY:

HUMAN LURES! KADE PRURNELL (WHOSE NAME IS JUST RIDICULOUS IN EVERY DIRECTION) THREATENED WILL WITH EXECUTION! WILL GOT A PLASTIC TUBE JAMMED DOWN HIS INNER FLESH TUBE! HANNIBAL GOT INVESTIGATED! JACK AND KATZ ARE KINDA TEAM WILL WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT!

Okay, I’ll be honest with you–this episode bored the bejesus out of me. Like the actual bejesus. I can’t feel the lord’s love shining down on me anymore. Courtroom dramas are my least favorite dramas of every existing drama, and on episodes that are dialogue-heavy (like this one) writing about it without devolving into just retyping the script is a huge challenge. Factor these two aspects in together, and episodes like Hassun are basically a nightmare for me to recap like I usually do (i.e. very detailed).

So in the interest of me not having to put out something mediocre and forced and unfunny and you not having to read all 4500 words of that mediocre and forced and unfunny nonsense, this one episode will be done more like a review than a full recap, and just kind of touch on the parts that I was all zzzzzzz through.

Regular longwinded overemotional essay-length recaps will continue with the next episode!

Continue reading

Walking Dead 4.14 – The Grove

Oooh, look at this foreshadowing from four episodes back!

Oooh, look at this foreshadowing from four episodes back!

Previously! Here is my dark, dark show that I love. There’s a part of me that feels bad that I don’t feel worse? Does that make sense? But then I saw Melissa McBride on Talking Dead and she was still so shaken up that now I feel bad for not feeling worse. Can we all just agree that she’s a phenomenal talent, an amazing woman, and beautiful inside and out?

Also, I got really upset with some botanical inaccuracies. Lol. But you’re going to learn more than you ever needed about Pine sap. LET’S START. Continue reading