Hannibal airs Fridays at 10pm on NBC
HEY Y’ALL! It’s been a while! I hope you’ve been well. Me and my flower crown and my kitchen knife have been doing pretty good. Waiting patiently and DEFINITELY not eating any human fleshes. None whatsoever. Not even during ritual sacrifices to somehow speed up time to bring season 2 to us faster.
PREVIOUSLY: SEASON ONE!
In this episode opening we learn that Dean lies on his bed listening to angsty classic rock through headphones like a teenager, Sam does… something in his own room, who even knows what, and that the bunker is haunted. Full-on flickering lights, EVP, spinny furniture haunted. We also learn that Sam somehow thinks a sword will protect him. I’m pretty sure it’s not made of iron. Thankfully Dean has rock salt shells at the ready for just this kind of predicament. Continue reading
I C WUT U DID THAR
Previously! But before we go into the episode (and wow, serial killer growth happening, holy schnikies) I want to tell AMC that their heavily amped show Game of Arms will not get me hooked unless there is some Brundle-Fly forearm snapping.
But first, how about we hook all the viewers with a trip into a teenage-girl’s diary? Everyone likes that stuff, don’t they? Continue reading
“Say it loud, say it clear!
You can listen as well as you hear.
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye.”
Yeah. That’s a Mike & the Mechanics quote from “In The Living Years” up there. And yes, that’s pretty much their only song, kids younger than me. But it follows the “Rudy” principle: it’s okay for men to cry over it. (Also see: Michael Corleone kissing Fredo, Brian’s Song, and Field of Dreams, the only time crying’s allowed in baseball.)
Previously on the show, everything was terrible and nothing was good. I SAID NOTHING. But! The agony of hiatus is over! The agony of the show, however, has just begun.
Stillwater, Minnesota. “Stand By Me” level eating contest, but with $0.50 hotdogs. Big boy versus the thin man. You’d think they’d be setting it up for the scrawny kid to win; nope, tubby takes the trophy, but not without accusations of cheating. Later in his car, Chubs removes the hidden hotdog from his pocket and chuckles smugly, right before something shanks him in the back and sucks him into a mummy.
In the bunker, Dean looks done. He hasn’t slept; his breakfast is whiskey and Cornflakes with a cold pizza chaser and he sounds like he gargled a Batarang. He’s been up all night researching, full on Google vortex style, if he’s found anything new about anything we’re all really worried about he’s not telling, but he has found the Stillwater case and Sam is down to investigate with him. Dean gruffly gets up and says he’s just gonna scrub down with some Wet Wipes and be ready to go. Sam stops him, concern seemingly creasing his brow. He asks Dean if he’s okay, if maybe what he said a few days ago (remember? The whole “if you wanna be brothers *ELLIPSES OF HEART RENDING HORRIBLENESS*”), but Dean mocks him; as if his brother breaking up with him is anything new or worth internalizing and agonizing about. Get over yourself, Sam.
For the record, Sam seems like this isn’t bothering Dean enough for his liking. For the other record, I don’t believe Dean at all. I mean, he’s still rocking the face fur, so clearly he’s still too bummed to shave. Continue reading
Grantsburg, Wisconsin. This week’s episode opens up on a farm in the middle of the night. According to the closed captioning what we’re hearing is snarling, howling, the dulcet sounds of flesh rending and cows mooing. Apparently there wasn’t enough cowbell to make the closed captioning cut.
Seeing as it’s the dead of night, the owner of the farm is none too pleased with the disruption and comes out blazing. The figure that abandons his prime offal is scrawnier than the sounds indicated he’d be. He takes off running, jumping fences, dodging trees, just trying to get away, contemplating nothing but escape and finally making it… until the he runs into the road and high-fives a car.
Oh look, it’s Garth. Continue reading
When last we left the Winchesters they were having their yearly breakup. Dean drove off in the Impala while Sam and Castiel bounced to the bunker listening to the dulcet sounds of N.W.A.
Jasper Springs, Mississippi, Civil War era. Soldiers scramble to protect a knight in a cabin. A knight? This is America, not Medieval England. Anyway, no sooner have the soldiers flanked the door than a man saunters in with a fancy knife and burns the apparently demon soldiers back to Hell. Interesting dude. Continue reading
Previously on Sleepy Hollow: well, we got the first part of this twist-a-licious two-part season finale, the recap of which went up yesterday. Check it out if you’re just tuning in! And now onto Part Deux.
Henry Parrish wakes after a rush of visions, including Moloch summoning an evil, an eclipse, a Horseman galloping with a flaming sword, and that scary demonic growl translated to “Come and See.” HOCRAP.
Gazing at the Hudson, Ichabod suddenly spies a woman with red hair running in colonial garb. Is it Katrina, appearing to him in a visionary dream? Oh my god, lolololol, nope: it’s a sassy Revolutionary War Reenactor/Cosplayer! That’s not Katrina’s auburn locks you’re seeing Ichabod, but proper Fangirl Red. Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged Abbie Mills, August Corbin, Fox, Frank Irving, Henry Parrish, history is dark and full of demons, Ichabod Crane, Jennie Mills, just go with it, Katrina Crane, show me the way to purgatory, Sleepy Hollow, television
Previously on Sleepy Hollow. Okay, stop. It’s the end of the world. Ichabod Crane apparently has gotten a cell phone. Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged Abbie Mills, Dead Officer Andy Dunn, Fox, Frank Irving, FREEMASONS, Henry Parrish, history is dark and full of demons, Ichabod Crane, just go with it, Macey Irving, show me the way to purgatory, Sleepy Hollow, television
It’s been awhile, huh?
Last we left everyone, Gadreel had auditioned for the role of “Sam Winchester” and nailed it, burn out Kevin’s light and bailed on Dean. We’ve suffered for months, but for Dean it’s only been about an hour. Continue reading