Game of Thrones 3.8 – Second Sons

Arya is waiting to smash in non-believers faces.

Arya is waiting to smash in non-believers faces.

Previously! This week…guys, I can’t even.  I have lost the ability to even with this show.  How does it get better every week?  If you were meh about this episode, then I want you to sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.  When you can say you’re sorry, I’ll forgive you.

Also, there was literal nail biting from me while watching, and it was mostly centered around what was going to happen to gloriously shirtless Gendry. Continue reading

Orphan Black 1.08 – Entangled Bank

Nothing good ever happens when you move a curtain aside to see what's out there

Nothing good ever happens when you move a curtain aside to see what’s out there

Previously on Orphan Black: Art and Angela re-start their investigation from the ground up. Hot Paul gets interrogated by Creepy Olivier. Felix wears guyliner and looks better than everyone else. Alison was away at a couple’s retreat with Stupid Donnie. Sarah rescues Hot Paul and they are in looooove. (YES GOD YES) Helena is friggin’ awesome: she has lunch with Sarah, rescues Sarah from Creepy Olivier, gets a name of a clone from Sarah, cuts off Creepy Olivier’s tail and then dances the night away in the club with the tail. Helena rules. Felix calls Art to tell him all about Beth Childs but when Sarah and Paul get out of the rave club alive he hangs up. Art talks to the cell phone for another 10 minutes cause he just can’t tell when someone hangs up I guess.

Guys. You guys. This show. Every week I say, “This episode was the best!” and then the next week happens and I jump off the couch after the episode airs, point my finger wildly at the TV and scream, “THIS EPISODE WAS THE BEST!!!!” Well guess what? THIS EPISODE WAS THE BEST.

Orphan Black tops itself as each episode airs. The writing is clever and funny, the pacing never drags, the story is riveting and the characters are fully-fleshed and interesting. There isn’t a dud in the bunch. Everyone’s story is fascinating. I feel sorry for anyone not watching this show. Sorry. Sorry cause you suck!

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Doctor Who 7.13 – The Name of the Doctor

Doctor Who 7.13 TNotD let the saving begin

Save the Doctor? Clara’s ready to do it All The Time!

After multiple episodes of watching the Doctor fruitlessly shake his tiny fist at the why-are-there-multiples-of-her mystery that is Clara “Oswin” Oswald, the seventh season finale of Doctor Who at last takes on the big question: the hell is up with Clara?

Cue “Gallifrey, a very long time ago,” where Clara pops up to tell the First Doctor, just before he steals the TARDIS (and if that isn’t inserting Clara into the seminal moment, well, I don’t know what is), “Sorry, but you’re about to make a very big mistake.” Sassy, starting to tell the Doctor what’s what on Day One!  Also, who, where, what, howContinue reading

Hannibal 1.08: Fromage

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Hannibal airs Thursdays at 10pm on NBC

PREVIOUSLY: HAHA I think Hugh Dancy did the PREVIOUSLY ON HANNIBAL voiceover this time but I literally said “who the fuck was that.” to my computer so IDK. Hannibal tried his damnedest to put Will out to sea with nothing but Hannibal himself as a paddle; Alana had morals as well as a sense of professional ethics; Will was super duper attracted to that, and also her pretty hair and steely yet comforting gaze; Franklin introduced Hannibal to his cute boyfriend Tobias (Demore Barnes); Franklin also is in love with Hannibal pretty hard.

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Supernatural 8.23 – Sacrifice

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Cue the music. Reflect on it all. Cry your first round of tears.

Now let us begin season eight’s ending. Continue reading

Game of Thrones 3.7 – The Bear and The Maiden Fair

 

[LIZARDLY PURRING]

[LIZARDLY PURRING]

Previously! This week: Theon Greyjoy would just really like to take a nap, the Wildling’s Warg has a serious case of the fedora-wearing Nice Guys, and did that muh fuh seriously just insult the Mother of Dragons…on Mother’s Day?

 (I tried to get an interview with the bear featured in this episode, but they told me no, he’s a live bear and would literally rip my face off. So, thanks for making me look stupid, bear. What a jerk.) Continue reading

Doctor Who 7.12 – Nightmare in Silver

Doctor Who 7.12 NiS Cyberman chess opponent

A game of chess to determine the fate of the universe? YOUR MOVE, SEXY SCHIZOPHRENIC DOCTOR!

The Doctor, Clara, and Angie and Maitland peek credits-in-a-sitcom style around the door of the TARDIS (I did the hand-claps from Friends).  They’re on the moon!  Well, it’s not the moon, but a “spacey zuma ride” and a Golden Ticket to what used to be the biggest and best amusement park in the universe.  Yay, how fun…that would have been.  Too bad it’s in total ruins and about to give rise to a hostile force trying to destroy the universe!  My stars, if that just isn’t a day out with the Doctor all over!  Continue reading

Orphan Black 1.07 – Parts Developed in an Unusual Manner

Hmmm, time to do some killing!

Hmmm, time to do some killing!

Previously on Orphan Black: Alison goes all Guantanamo Bay on Donnie’s suburban ass and doesn’t let him go to the monthly potluck. Donnie’s sad ’cause he bought mulled wine for it and everything. Sarah and Felix help smooth things over. Paul acts super foreboding and then he kicks the sh-t out of Vic the Dick for trying to blackmail Sarah. Cosima falls hard for Delphine the Frenchie even though she’s fully aware that Delphine is her Monitor. Who’s the smart one now, Cosima? Cosima and Delphine get to meet Dr. Leekie (MAX HEADROOM YESSS). Dr. Leekie has secret evil sex with Delphine. Sarah confesses to Paul that she’s a clone.

Could this episode be any better? Answer: No. No it couldn’t. I almost died from the awesomeness that this episode delivered. Strap it on and strap it in cause here we go with the recap! LET’S DO THIS THING.

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Hannibal 1.07: Sorbet

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Hannibal airs Thursdays at 10pm on NBC

WHAT’S UP GUYS. I’m sorry this is late, I just got back from visiting family in South Carolina. (We’re cannibals, too, but not the sexy European kind. We’re the hillbilly kind. The Wrong Turn kind. The 2,000 Maniacs! kind. Let’s not talk about it.)

PREVIOUSLY: FREDERICK CHILTON WAS THE WORST EVER AT EVERYTHING; The Former Surgeon Known as Dr. Gideon took credit for the Chesapeake Ripper murders, thanks to a combination of unethical psychiatric methods and an FBI/Freddie Lounds merger; the real Chesapeake Ripper didn’t take too kindly to that and gave Jack an arm belonging to the possibly dead/hopefully just maimed (????? wtf samantha. this show has given me weird priorities) Miriam Lass, his former protege/Will Graham; our Not Benjamin Raspail, Franklin, put a Kleenex on Hannibal’s side table LIKE A GROSS HORRIBLE MONSTER; and Alana and Will have never been alone in a room together.

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Supernatural 8.22 – Clip Show

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Remember Tommy Collins? Think back 170 episodes; you remember, back when Dean didn’t wear shorts? Tommy’s back in the woods having Wendigo flashbacks, which are way worse than acid flashbacks but at least Tommy knows what he’s up against this time.

Or not. His body is flung around the cabin until his blood pressure skyrockets and his body bleeds out like a popped grape. Continue reading