Glee! 3.09 – Yes/No

Best stunt casting ever. Also, thank you for shirtless Sam, Powers That Be. I mean that in a non-creepy way.

Well, this episode was aptly named. Yes to so much! And…no to things too. Today’s cocktail is in honor of the opening number and my undying love for making dirty jokes about Grease, even though it’s dirty enough on its own. Pink Lady (with a T-Bird Finish.) I’m a bad girl. (It’s subtle.)

 

Your Bingo Game Board, and the free square is to drink whenever the writers really get something right.

 

Tina pulls on Mercedes’ arm wanting to know what’s going on with her and Sam? All the girls are just dying to know! Well, she was an exchange student from Australia, and Sam was just this wonderful guy at the beach… [Cue “Summer Lovin’” and boy, do I sing dirty lyrics to this song, every single time.]

The Pink Ladies (well, Rachel is wearing a red cloak) all “whoa whoa whoa!” to Mercedes as she sings, and when they cut to the T-Birds, Puck grabs Sam’s hand, kisses it, and then they “whoa whoa whoa!” Sam. Rory tries to fit in (bless his heart) and the fake accents on the guys to sound like they’s from thuh Branx is funny. Santana and Kurt are so over this and are sarcastic, and Santana is the perfect Rizzo. Sugar takes on Didi Conn’s part, Frenchy, and that was delightful. More Sugar Motta, Glee!

Mercedes and Sam, in split screen, nail the “Bu-hut, OH. Those summer, ni-hiiiiights!” part and [DRINK] for Mercedes hitting it like the diva she is.

We see Becky walking through the hallways and hear her voice-over. And she’s British. It’s Helen Mirren, actually, and I didn’t think I could love the woman more.

“I am the hottest bitch in this high school,” she thinks to herself. And she clarifies why she sounds British. Because she can be whomever she wishes in her mind, thank you very much. Now it’s time for Becky to get a dude. Rory smiles too much, Puck has a squirrel glued to his head, Mike is too fabulous and taken, and Artie… Hmm. That velvety voice, those glasses, and he’s handi-capable. Nice.

Eh, Sue thinks she could do better.

Beiste and Emma settle in to lunch and we learn that now Beiste is Beiste-Cooter? I think I’ll now call her Booter. Oh, do you feel like you got hit by a mack truck? Me, too. Turns out that on Christmas Eve at Taco Bell, Beiste told Cooter that he was her soul mate. (Never mind he was seeing Sue and dumped her, huh?) They hit the Gas-n-Sip-n-Weddin’-World around the corner and now they’re married. And have a 24-pack of Slim Jims!

Sue concedes her loss (ha) and realizes that her last option was now – shudder – David Boreanaz. Ha. Emma starts crying because she wants to get married and why won’t Will ask her? Sue rolls her eyes and smacks her with a feminist board. “Ask him yourself!”

Cue dream sequence where she sings, “Wedding Bell Blues” by the Fifth Dimension and we have a Schoner (Schuester boner that the writers have) as she imagines asking him to marry her. The song ends with her standing in front of him and HEY-O. That was out loud. Um… She bolts, horrified. Will stands there almost laughing at her. What is going on with Will Schuester in this episode? I am so confused as to what the intent is from the writers. One thing makes up for this, and that’s the shot of Sue in The Hat as original worn by HRH Princess Beatrice of York (whoops! wrong title from my end) at Will and Kate’s wedding. Awesome. (Or as I call them, Bill and Katie.)

Will races to the classroom, writes “Marry Me?” on the white board [DRINK] and Brittany wonders when did they start dating? I mean, she’s dumb, but she’s not stupid… No, no, Will tells his class of children (who are all 37, we know; work with me) that he is going to make an honest woman of Emma Pilsbury. Those weren’t derisive laughs in the teacher’s lounge, they were full of LOVE. The kids all cheer, because maybe if he gets some on the regular, he’ll chill the hell out in class.

So, class assignment is for them to come up with his proposal. BECAUSE THAT IS OKAY. I wouldn’t hate knowing that my fiance decided to defer the how he asked me to his class. For a grade. As homework. [DRINK. I said DRINK.]

Sam hits on Mercedes after class, wanting to know if it’s the James Earl Jones impression that turned her off, or…? Look, Sam, you’re still unbelievably attractive and all (you were a stripper, boo), but you don’t have a Letterman Jacket (you’re poor) and she has a man (because we’re told. Oh, whoops, there he is!). But Sam remembers the Tilt-A-Whirl where she was pressed up against him so tightly and there was laughing and they swam through rainbows and sunshine until the little girl with the corn dog threw up. Does that mean nothing to you, Mercedes?

Nope!

Artie nervously approaches Sugar and asks if she’d be interested in working on a number with him. Strictly professional, he assures her. Um… Artie? Sugar doesn’t want to lead you on. And it’s not because of the wheelchair, it’s because your useless legs might look thinner than her arms. So… Here’s a condescending head pat. Best reason ever to not date someone, Sugar. Becky shows up right about now, smooths his hair, and asks him out. Oho, Glee, I see what you are doing, and I like it. Artie looks nervously at her, GULP! [And DRINK.]

Sam begs Coach Booter to be put on the basketball team. No can do, kid. Any team will do, Coach, really. She strokes her beard and grins. And then Glee makes up for all the wrongs it has done (not really) by giving me shirtless Sam Evans once again. [DRINK] Sam is now on the synchronized swim team. Huzzah!

He gets told about Letterman Bathrobes (ooh, denied again) when an excellent moment of stunt casting happens. NeNe, of Real Housewives of Atlanta “fame,” turns up as the swim coach. Oh, if only this aired on MLK Day. She tells him promptly that he is strange.

“I have never seen lips like that on a white child, and one of your nipples is higher than the other. I bet you had to overcome a lot with those crooked nipples. […] I know from suffering. I was told black people don’t swim. […] I made it to the promised land! I got my Forty Acres and a Pool!”

Sold it, NeNe. Sold it. [DRINK] She’s an Olympian for Individual Synchronized Swimming. (I wish they hadn’t explained the joke to Sam, though. Let jokes sit. It makes those of us who get them feel cooler than the rubes.) She leans in close and says with menace, “If you pee in my pool, I will kill you.”

Sam later brags to Finn about being on this awesome team, and Finn edges away from him. Sam may as well start speaking in Klingon and show up in his LARPing outfit. He’s headed over to Mercedes to pitch some woo, when Rick “The Stick” and some other hockey bros slushie him. “Synchronized!” they yell. Oh, that’s gotta hurt. Mercedes sees it all, wants to help him, but her lunkhead boyfriend is not okay with that and drags her off. Cue the Charlie Brown music as Sam is left Forever Alone. (Let’s get real. Chord Overstreet is freaking gorgeous. Kids, lemme help you out at that school by taking him off your hands.)

Artie and the guys work on their assignment for Will by saying he shouldn’t do anything sappy, but something with hip thrusts. Because, as Artie says to his teacher who allows him to say this, “You have rock-star hips.” Mike adds, “It’s true. Mick Jagger hips.” Hey, hammer to anvil, guess what song they’re going to sing? But NO. You do not say these things to your teacher. [DRINK]

And they sing “Hips Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 and Artie is outstanding vocally, as we knew he’d be, and the writers who have been denied their Schoner Boner story lines and allowed to put Will in slow-mo shots of ballet-type moves with added hip thrusts. (I was too busy trying to watch Darren Criss in the back row making love to his microphone stand. I am nothing if not predictable. And right.) Raise your hand if you noticed how they kept poor Finn out of blocking for each camera angle? Oh, Cory. I still like you and want to watch you every week.

Artie wraps up the song with a bow (Kevin McHale, I love love love when you get to sing R & B) and Becky has come to watch. And it seems that this was “the date” Artie planned. Ooh, that’s a dick move, bro! She promptly informs him that no, it isn’t. “Breadstix. Dinner. Be there.” I love it.

Finn goes with his teacher (I just want to make sure we all remember that within the show, they are students. With their teacher.) to pick out wedding rings. Will asks Finn to be his best man, and Will? You need adult friends. At first I thought he’d choose Coach Booter, but I bet Emma wants her? I don’t know. All I know is that Will really needs some outside activities. Finn picks a ring that will be easiest for Emma to clean, and that is hilarious. And then Finn tells Will something in confidence: he’s talking to Army recruiters. Will’s smile fades fast as Finn turns away, excited.

Rachel, Tina, Mercedes and Santana (no Brit) go to work on their assignment for Will. They ask him what he thought of the first time he saw Emma, leading into Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face,” and that album of Roberta’s was on in my house daily when I was growing up. We were very Motown. Rachel starts and flashes on the first time she saw Finn (aww) and she’s already crying. [DRINK.] The girl can sell emotion, let’s just put that out there.

Tina picks up the lead and flashes to a moment with Mike at a sweet picnic filled with love and laughing (and dim sum.) Then Santana starts singing and thinks on a moment with Brittany as she sings, “The first time ever I laid with you,” and they cut to the two girls smiling shyly at each other at their lockers and it is so, so sweet. [DRINK.] Finally, a Brittana moment! (Which means other ships will be denied, natch. Namely, Klaine.) Mercedes sings and immediately thinks of Shane shoving fourteen burgers in his mouth as the football team cheers him on.

WAIT. Hold the phone, she thinks of Sam Evans (as is right in the universe) and comes back to herself with a thud as Rachel takes the number on home. And in the flash from earlier, we see Finn finally turning around to check her out. Aww. This number sounded gorgeous, by the way. Stunning, ladies.

Mercedes snaps out of it and races to the bathroom, upset that she thought of Sam. The girls console her and Rachel tells her to just listen to her heart.

Emma’s horribly racist and awful parents are at Will’s house, bitching about everything. One thing they’re happy about: Comrade Obama didn’t lock them up in Ginger Concentration Camps like that video they were emailed promised. (M.I.A., Born Free, one of the best videos ever.) Will says he wants their blessing to marry Emma.

“No.”

Uh… you aren’t charmed by my butt chin? By my proper manners? Not really, Will, they think their daughter is awful and you’re about to saddle yourself with misery. Emma’s mother essentially says that Emma is broken, and is he really going to tie himself down with that? Oy. Best. Parents. Never.

Back at McKinley, a Glee-tervention is held for Artie, as they’ve heard he went to dinner with Becky, and they don’t want him to hurt her. What’s that all about, Artie? That’s mean, Artie. Artie. Come on. And then Artie schools them all. He flashes back to dinner where Becky made him laugh, was really fun, and surprise! Just because she has Down’s doesn’t mean she’s not fun to be with. (Thank you, Glee. Truly.) He tells them all he likes her.

Santana pipes up with, “I know that girl. She’s a sly, conniving bitch.” Naya has been getting the best lines for weeks now.

Artie informs them that he happens to enjoy her company, and there’s nothing wrong with that (he’s right) and they’re jackasses for automatically assuming things and denying Becky a chance to have a friend to hang with. BOOM, drops the mic, rolls out. [DRINK]

Finn walks into his own intervention with Emma and Will…and Burt and Carole. Will told his parents about the army thing. Finn is mad, but still defends himself: I want to contribute in a meaningful way to this world. I love you, Finn Hudson. Burt tries the “but who is going to run the shop while I’m in DC? I was counting on you, Finn” angle with a reassurance that he is pro-military.

Finn has grown up in the shadow of his war hero father. He wants to follow in his footsteps. And then the plot twist that I did not see coming (and well done, Glee) happens.

Carole, who is crying and made me cry, lets the cat out of the bag about the Elder Hudson. He didn’t die in Iraq. Not physically. He came back…broken. And addicted to drugs. He was dishonorably discharged and spent the last few weeks of his life in Cincinnati (he left Carole and baby Finn) high, and then died of an overdose. Carole is utterly sobbing as she tells him this, that she wanted him to know his DAD, not the stranger that he was for the last short period of his life.

Finn naturally feels betrayed, trying to make her understand that her waiting to tell him when he “was ready” was stupid, because how can anyone be ready to hear that!? He’s not wrong.

Becky walks through the hallway with her Helen Mirren voice-over, preening about going to the Special Olympics Ball with a medal and a man. And she absolutely rocks. (You go, girl.) And then she sexts Artie, telling him that’s what he’s got to look forward to later that night. “Later, my place. We’re going to do it.”

Artie hears a perpetual needle on the record. Uh oh. He goes straight to Coach Sue, who asks, “Did Brittany ever do this?” He confirms it. And Sue gives him a look: …and? You never complained about Brit… (Thank you, Sue, for always being the one to champion normalcy for differently-abled people.) She tells Artie that he needs to treat her like any other girl: you want to go out, or you don’t. That’s all there is to it.

Emma is at home polishing the ornaments as she puts them away (it takes her a good month to pack it up) when Will gets home. She makes him sit in a specific chair (he’s noting all of this OCD behavior) and she asks him nervously if eventually he wants to make her his wife. Will, looking confused, says, “Of course!” So…? And then Will loses any and all sympathy with me by agreeing with her horrible parents. He wants to know what’s going to happen if they have a baby and it spits up? What if it’s too much for her?

She looks confused. She’s taking meds to help with the OCD, she’s seeing a therapist, what does anyone do when life gets hard? You work with what you have. Will says, “Sometimes it just seems so hopeless.” WOW, DUDE.

And she explains to him, tearfully, that she’s trying her best– wait, you know what? “This is what you get. This incomplete person with so much love for you.” Oh, Emma, you are delightful and a broken baby bird and I want to smooth your feathers. And smoosh you back with Dr. Carl. She tells him to make up his mind soon so they can stop spinning their wheels.

Kurt, Finn, and Rachel are having a “Senior Year isn’t turning out like we thought” dinner. Finn’s upset with his “loser DNA.” Kurt and Rachel are convinced they’re not getting into NYADA – they’ve heard that people are getting their letters. They haven’t yet. Uh oh. Kurt signals for multiple cheesecakes while Finn bemoans them never getting out of Lima.

Rachel starts singing “Without You” by David Guetta, singing with all the love in her heart to him. Aww. They’re making me love Finchel again. It cuts to the classroom where we have all of the couples shoot significant looks of meaning to one another, but only one really resonated with me. Mercedes smiles shyly at Sam, Blaine and Kurt toss a look to each other (Blaine sold it, Kurt seemed…off to me. It made me sad.) [DRINK for Klaine, our only real moment]

Brittany is staring at Santana, who looks forward smiling, and Mike and Tina snuggle in the background. Aww. Rachel imagines she’s singing to no one but Finn, who is goo-goo eyed for her, and they’re really sweet. And then, back in the classroom Santana, who looks like she’s near tears as she smiles, is gripping Brittany’s hand for all it’s worth and I got seriously choked up. Oh, girls! [DRINK]

While Rachel and Finn make out in front of the class, the other kids ask Will which song he’s going to pick. He’s not sure, and needs to think about it. Mm hmm. Cut to Will watching Emma scrub her office until Sam pulls him aside with an idea. It’s so convoluted, the whole Sam on swim team, but I don’t care because.

BECAUSE.

Will takes Emma’s hand and walks her down the hallway as random strangers hand her white roses (including Sue, and there’s a continuity error here, but that’s just Glee.) Rhianna’s “We Found Love” is being sung by Rachel in the background, and Will leads Emma to the indoor pool where the Gleeks and Swim team are putting on an amazing synchronized number with wonderful costumes. The boys jump into the water (Kurt does a spin, ha!), Artie dumps himself in on his wheelchair, later to be found in a floatie doing the arm motions while everyone else does a great routine.

It’s adorable! I love synchronized swimming, as well! And then they have to ruin it for me by making Will into Jesus with him walking on water in a gee dee top hat (not a fan of top hats on bony faces.) Emma is across the pool, shocked, and then Will whips off his hat and dives into the water, swimming up to her. (You know she loved the hint of chlorine on his skin – better than Marc Jacobs ‘Rain,’ I’m sure) and he tells her that she’s the one. They can do it together, she helps him as much as he helps her, and life’s messy, but there’s enough bleach to fix it. He gets on one knee and hands her a soggy ring box. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

YES. The crowd goes wild, and Rachel and Kurt – holding hands – bounce up and down and I love Rachel and Kurt as friends, never split them up again, writers!

Later, Artie finds Becky and lays it on her. He really likes being her friend. But that’s all they are. She nods, asking if he just finds her too intimidating. “I get that a lot.” I love Becky as a bad ass, I really, really do.

But as she walks away with a sniff at Artie’s inferior decision, the voice-over starts with her saying sadly (in Helen Mirren’s voice) that she knows it’s because she has Down’s. “Some days it sucks being me. This is one of those days.”

For all that Glee gets wrong, boy, when they get it right, it is a straight shot to my heart. As the sister of a mentally disabled person, every time they use Jean or Becky to make a point about how they’re untouchables and how wrong that is, it utterly kills me. And I’m grateful for it every time. [DRINK]

Sue consoles Becky with some ice cream, some Lifetime television for ovaries starring Meredith Baxter Burney, and a whole lot of love. Sue, you’re good people. Waaaaaaaay down deep.

Rachel joins Finn in the auditorium where he’s looking at a picture of his dad. He confesses that he’d always wanted to be a man like him, but now he’s worried that he will. And then he makes her promise to not say a word until he’s finished talking. She agrees, all smiles.

Finn wants to be a part of something special, that’s all. And he realized that she is his something special that he gets to be a part of. “But there’s you: a beacon of light, a big gold star.” He got a credit card and bought a small box. (Oh no.) He gets down on one knee. (Oh, no, Finn.)

“Will you marry me?”

And if you didn’t think they’d cliffhanger this, you’re not paying attention. FINN WALLABY HUDSON ESQUIRE THE NINTH, what are you thinking? Oh, right, you’re a senior in a small town; this is what happens. (Doesn’t mean it’s right.)

 

We have a two week hiatus (AGAIN) until we get our answers. Enough with the hiatuses! (CLICK HERE FOR MICHAEL, EP 11!)  So tell me what you think: were you satisfied by the Klaine smile and I’m out of touch? Were you moved by Santana and Brittany? Did you want to rush out and buy those cute 40s style bathing suits on the girls?

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  • MP

    I was satisfied by the Klaine smile, but that has to be taken with the knowledge that my Klaine shipping consists of “Oh, hearts, BOYS. Now where is the Brittana?” (Likewise, I was okay with “The First Time…” not including Kurt and Blaine, not because it was set up as a girl song, but because it was set up “we are now going to show you initial moments in all of these relationships that you’ve never seen before” and we’ve seen the first time K/B set eyes on each other.)

    I am firmly behind #coachbooter, though I think I’m sad we didn’t get to see Shannon’s big moment. OTOH, it might have played as a retread of the scene where she confronts him with Sue and says her piece about being in love with him, so maybe offscreen was better after all.

    Oh, Carole.

    Oh Will, you complete idiot. FWIW, I get why he went to her parents, and I think they gave the nod to that, insofar as he says to them “It would make her really happy if we had your blessing.” So I don’t feel like he was out of line for trying, just a fool for thinking they’d be anything but asshats, and a moron for letting their asshattiness sway his own thinking even for a moment.

    Oh, Emma.

    Oh, Finn.

    • Kurt just seemed…distracted. I am probably reading too much into this. But it’s been something I’ve noticed all season, like he’s just…sad. Not about NYADA, just sad and disconnected. Brittany and Santana gave me a happy, as did Finchel. And I was okay with Kurt not singing with the girls on that number, as well, even though his voice would sound lovely, and I like that point about not having those first looks with the girls, when that is THe Moment On The Stairs for Kurt and Blaine, well put.

      Even Dot Marie Jones is behind #CoachBooter! (She retweeted me this morning, ha!) And I wish they wouldn’t short change her so much. I’d like the honeymoon, which would consist of them arm wrestling and watching Die Hard while getting choked up and romantic, imo.

      CAROLE. Oh, she nailed that scene, just ripped my heart out. What a great actress. I’d love a Hudmels spin off, truth be told. Love the Hudson-Hummels.

      And now I have to suffer through another hiatus… At least we have each other. ;)

  • MP

    Erf, ALSO I HAS MOAR FEELINGS.

    Becky. You are indeed the hottest bitch in this school besides Santana and you rocked this one out of the park.

    I do wish (or maybe I don’t because Glee) that there’d been some acknowledgement that there were issues to that relationship besides just “Artie, do you want to date her or don’t you?” Which by itself was a completely legit thing and he needed to be told to suck that up and treat her like anyone else, with honesty and respect — but no, Artie sexting with or possessing a semi-nude picture of Brit is not the same as Artie sexting with or possessing a semi-nude picture of Becky. There are consent issues there that — even if the show’s final stand is that Becky’s independent enough to make her own decisions — at least needed to be nodded to. It’s all very well for Sue to say “Yes or no, this isn’t rocket science, Wheels” but if the answer had been yes, Becky’s parents and the law might have disagreed.

    • I’m going to argue the issue of consent point you bring up, because Becky is “mainstream.” She is clearly a capable person. With the exception of the physical ailments Down’s presents, she is every bit as sharp and quick witted as anyone else. Maybe not Brittany.

      OHO, see how they got you there? So. :)

      • MP

        I would actually argue that Becky’s more quick-witted than Britt, heh.

        But I didn’t mean in terms of my comfort with consent; I think a relationship between the two of them or their RL equivalents could be entirely successful and non-troubling. (Though I also think the show is fuzzy when it comes to Becky’s decision-making, given the various things she’s done on Sue’s orders, no questions asked. It’s Glee, and you never know when you’re allowed to take their actions seriously and make comparisons, or you’re supposed to be ignoring logic for the sake of the comedy.)

        But what’s clearly capable to you and me isn’t necessarily so to a teenager’s parents, school authorities, etc. In the land of Not Ryan Murphy where someone using a minor’s image in a political smear ad would have had his ass sued off, a mentally able high school boy having a sexual relationship with a mentally disabled girl risks somebody coming after him on a civil or criminal level if they don’t agree that she’s capable of consent. Hell, just having that picture on his phone could land the kid in a world of hurt in various states and school districts.

        • Oh, without a doubt that would be HUGELY PROBLEMATIC in the Real World. (As should any that Brit texted.) But this is Ryan’s World, and we’re always scrambling to remember what his logic is.

          At least he’s keeping me working. (Ha)

  • A Different Laura

    I was disappointed in the way Klaine was represented. Ryan has said he wants them to be like any other high school couple, right? Why wasn’t Blaine with Finn, Rachel and Kurt at the dinner/cheesecake binge? All he really needed to do was be there…not even be speaking to show the two couples out together.
    I also was disappointed that we only got the LOOK. I’m not expecting HBO late night porn, but how about a leg pat a la Kurt’s presidential campaign announcement. I suppose I live in a pretend world where the things that are said come true (much like Simon and his purple crayon) but the hypocrisy gets to me.
    And Finn? The poor boy just wants an identity…if he can’t be “the guy that followed in his dad’s footsteps” he’ll be “Mr. Rachel Berry”. I hope Burt’s talk about the garage is a harbinger of things to come for Finn.
    Poor Emma. So her parents think she’s defective and now Will thinks it’s too hard to be with her? Could anything be worse for her self esteem? She is doing everything she can (meds, therapy)and mental illnesses are like that. Unpredictable. Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the good hours outnumber the bad hours. And then, splash, Will changes his mind and has decided he can deal with her flaws…seemingly without any thought process behind it.
    So yes/no. Liked some parts of the episode, was immensely frustrated by others.

    • There’s already a mini-riot of fans wanting equal treatment for Klaine, so who knows why that’s become an issue again. We all have to remember, though, that they are supporting cast for the two original “stars” which would be Rachel and Finn. Fan-support, notwithstanding, that’s how the show was initially set up. (Man, I haven’t had a tangential ‘ship in ages. I forgot how it can suck.)

      Oh, Emma’s PARENTS! They’re just awful. I’m not on board the Schuester Cabooster. I want her with Dr. Carl. Or for Will to have an attitude adjustment.

  • A Different Laura

    Crap…it’s Harold and his purple crayon…

  • Vyola

    I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS.

    Okay, some of the shallow ones. Naya needs to be in ’30s-’40s-’50s Hollywood beach glam all the time. Put flowers in that girl’s hair. Mmmm-mmmm. Chord looked and sounded amazing this ep.

    ILU, Shannon Beiste. Sue, you are remarkable when you allow yourself to be human. Emma, I salute you. Will, WTF? (That said, that is.a real conversation they need to have but that was so not the way to have it. They do need to talk about expectations, fears, and coping strategies, ’cause that’s what grown-ups (should) do. But this is Glee, so…. ::sigh::)

    Kurt, I miss you but props to your cheesecake snap technique.

    You are so right about selling ability of stunt coach NeNe. That was a masterful monologue (I have quoted “40 acres and a pool!” way too many times already) and she clearly earned that bronze medal. She and Sue can never be allowed in the same room together. That much self-actualization would implode.

    Sometimes I think Matthew Morrison has decided that the only way to deal with the writers is to play it as if Will has Multiple Personality Disorder. He shows no doubt or hesitation as he moves from scene to scene and from storyline to storyline but plays each one whole-heartedly and as if it made sense. We might be going slowly insane but at least he’s keeping his mental balance.

    • How gorgeous is Naya? It’s unfair to the rest of us, I’m telling you. I loved her look in the episode, for sure. Not to mention how lovely she was singing about Brittany.

      And yes – Will and Emma need to talk about the problems they face, but maybe not during a THAT moment?

      I would LOVE for NeNe and Sue to get into a head roll/I’m in charge-off. IT WOULD BE OUTSTANDING.

      Hahaha, I love your theory for Matt Morrison. I don’t mind HIM, I just mind the characterization of Will. Oy.

  • fm

    I never feel like I have an adequate vocabulary to deal with the issues around Becky and Artie and their fight to be seen/treated like everyone else, but I really liked how kick-ass Becky was in this episode, a real girl rather than a joke. I liked Artie telling ND off about him liking spending time with her. I liked Sue being the voice of (relative) reason, as she should be. And I freaking loved Becky’s internal monologue, both using HM for it and the words she spoke.

    Honestly, I was just so happy to have a hint of Kurt and Blaine having feelings for each other in this episode that I didn’t try to unpack the smile. I am a pitiful fangirl, I admit it.

    • I was SO HAPPY with the Becky story line, I really was. When Artie told the Gleeks off, I may have applauded a bit. I love that no one raises an eyebrow to Brittany (who may very well be mentally challenged) sexting, but Becky (who has shown herself to be sharp and quick witted) does it and Artie freaks. Good job, Sue. Also, kind of disturbing that she praised Becky’s shape…

      I will watch the smile multiple times and sigh. You know I’m with you on that pitiful fangirl platform. ;)

  • ComedyQuiche

    Ok, I am BACK on the Glee bandwagon! And for this round, I am watching the show and reading your review at the same time. WEll, watch a clip, read the corrosponding section of your review. And then comment. I figure, this will make it more entertaining and easier to comment on. It wasn’t my plan, but as soon as I saw Puck KISS SAM’S HAND, I knew I had to read your review. (What was that about anyway?)

    J’adore the Becky voice over. Well done writers. Also, the Puck joke? Appropriate. Can we give that man a trim please? (As a side note, are there NO OTHER BOYS IN SCHOOL BESIDES THE GLEE CLUB? Really, Becks..)

    Tee-hee to Sue and Beiste as sing-a-long brides maids (and the hat!) Also, lay off Boreanaz, he is swoon-worthy in Bones. Or don’t, it’s your site. :p

    Then comes the forced Sugar(what is she wearing?)/Artie/Becky triangle. The look on Artie’s face when he realizes Becky is asking him out on a date made me squeak, but out of awkwardness, not cuteness.

    Sam-shirtless. We all agree we need more? Yes? The ‘yeas’ have it. Also, with his hair slicked back, he looks like what I pictured a young Macaulay Culkin would look like when he grew up.

    I really enjoyed the Jagger mash-up, and yes, I enjoyed the slow mo of Will. Especially if he is gonna be in a tank top. Yes, the character writing for him can be all over the place,but the man has a nice body and can dance. I approve. And Artie? Even being wheel-chair bound managed to channel Jagger most impressively!

    And then you pretty much nailed my thoughts on everything for the next several segments…

    And SUE! When did you become a caring, reasonable teacher-figure? I love that Artie went to her instead of Will. Also, that the writers remembered her ‘trying to be a better person’ thing after her sister’s death. Still loved the insults though. And Artie? She is not wrong. Loose the gloves and a button or two.

    “…And totally nailed the assignment. Oh, no wait, wait a sec, the assignment wasn’t ‘Make everything about Rachel Barry and force everyone to watch’, was it?” Ahahahahah, Santana, you are so wonderful.

    The retro swimsuits! <3 <3 <3 !!! Please let this episode bring those styles back for this summer! oh please oh please oh please! Also, all white tux? I literally shuddered. Gross.

    Sue+Becky = massive heartstring tugging. Perfection.

    And the ending. SIGH. Really, Finn? Really? I know you feel like you are drifting with no anchor, but she is NOT WHAT YOU NEED. Be single for a while maybe, find who you are as a person WITHOUT a girlfriend. Define yourself, don't be defined by who you are with! e;ljaklsjr;lkaer!

    Annnnnd end. (Sorry it was so scattered)

  • Fabrisse

    I absolutely adored the “Wedding Bell Blues” number. The rest of the Will/Emma angst was kind of icky — although there were some nice songs.

    I thought at least some of the Klaine lack had to do with Darren Criss leaving for Broadway, so he probably wasn’t around when they filmed the restaurant scene. It doesn’t make it right.

    And, yes, Kurt looks sad to me, too. He has since he got Officer Krupke (there were two whole gangs to fill. They couldn’t have found another role for him?).

    • Agreed on the Will/Emma scenes and music. I really enjoyed the music for this episode, as well.

      Well, this wrapped before Darren Criss left, so there goes that theory. The ones missing him will be in February.

      I’m so glad to have someone else notice that about Kurt. I worry I, um, over analyze certain aspects. ha ha!

  • amyryd

    So I went into this episode with very low expectations (1st ep back after a hiatus + a dearth of Klaine = trouble in River City). There were moments I liked, but on the whole this was a miss in my book.

    It all felt a bit like a jumbly mess to me. The “Booter” wedding (tm Stoney) – whaaaaa? I am not sure this could have come further out of left field and served less of a purpose. Will’s completely random, inappropriate relationship with the kids? Seriously, I would be insulted and pissed if my beloved required a group of high school students to plan my proposal. And Finn as the best man??? Eek, Will. That’s just sad. Will calling Emma out for her OCD also had me putting on my best Kurt bitchface.

    Like you, Laura, I only had eyes for Blaine and his mic stand during MLJ/JJF and could not help but think how much more I would have liked that song if it had been done by the Blaine-fronted Warblers.

    The Finn storyline was good (I love me the Hummel-Hudsons) save for the proposal (I love that #SayNoRachel was trending on Twitter!) but I thought that Rachel’s Without You was very oddly placed in the Breadstix scene. It just came out of nowhere and seemed disjointed. Love Santana for calling it like it is, though, and asking if this was the Rachel Berry show at the end of the song. Amen sister.

    I had MUCH love for the Helen Mirren voice-overs and liked the Becky storyline in this ep.

    The Kurt/Blaine “special glance” was lovely (seriously – I think Blaine has heart-shaped corneas) but overall I was miffed at the disparity of Finchel-to-everyone else ratio in the episode. I know we will be getting more Klaine in Michael so I am willing to cut them a little slack.

    My flat out FAVORITE moment, though, was Artie rolling himself into the pool! I had to stop and re-watch that moment a number of times just to be sure I had really seen it and have been transfixed by the many gifs it spawned all day. It may be one of my favorite things ever because it was SO random and SO unexpected.

    All in all, this was basically what I expected. Which was not much…

    • out_there

      Like you, Laura, I only had eyes for Blaine and his mic stand during MLJ/JJF and could not help but think how much more I would have liked that song if it had been done by the Blaine-fronted Warblers.

      I’m shallow and Will’s arms are enough to keep me happy in that song sequence, but the idea of the Blaine-fronted Warblers doing that song is too perfect to resist. Much like “Do You Think I’m Sexy” they’d be more adorable and clean-cut than outright sexy, but man would I love to see it.

  • StrtMyOrange

    Sam on a swim team = Shirtless Trouty Mouth ALL THE TIME!!! THANK YOU TV GODS!!! The casting of NeNe and Helen Mirren’s voice made this one of the best episodes (I want to be Dame Mirren when I grow up and bring offerings of chocolate, rum, & Botox to the gods of time to help make that happen). This made me so happy, along with the Artie & Becky story arc. Way to go writers on this one!

  • Hmm… Lessee here…

    1. 40s style swimsuits = YES
    2. Kurt’s “Long Russian Winter” hat = NO
    3. Coach Booter – YES
    4. Will’s frequent lack of judgement = NO
    5. Sue’s human side = YES
    6. Lack of Klaine (at least in the background) = NO
    7. Becky/Helen Mirren = A THOUSAND TIMES YES

    My one issue with Will and whole “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” idea is that the first time he saw Emma’s face, he was supposedly happily married. Things didn’t fall apart there until later so, um… awkward.

    • darkhawkhealer

      My one issue with Will and whole “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” idea is that the first time he saw Emma’s face, he was supposedly happily married. Things didn’t fall apart there until later so, um… awkward.

      Yes! This! Thank you! I’m so glad someone else pointed that out!

      I mean, yes, the sentiment is nice, but still!

  • Steph

    I have to say I adored the costuming for the pool proposal scene. LOVE. I knew Santana could rock the ’40s style do (after her stint with the Troubletones), but Rachel works it quite well, too!

    I actually thought that Rachel’s transition into “Without You” was nicely placed – the look on her face after Finn made his whole “Why can’t I have nice things?” speech was pretty much perfect for the moment.

    Every scene with Emma’s parents makes me wish I could reach through the screen and throttle people, because DAMN. People like that are why people like me have a hard time being honest about their mental illness – because the last thing any of us wants to hear are about how broken we are, and how we don’t really have the right to be “tied” to other people, that they shouldn’t have to “deal’ with us. That…that scene brought up some stuff, let’s say.

    In conclusion, Helen Mirren.

  • A different Laura

    Amen to the mental illness stigma…thanks, Glee for making it worse.

  • txvoodoo

    Sheree has to be FUMING about Nene getting the acting gig. Of course, Sheree is the worst actress in the world.

  • kelpyfinners

    I honestly thought all through Rachel’s solo that Kurt was going to jump in at any second. Roomie and I were stunned by the complete lack of Kurt/Rachel duet – which would have been perfect for that song. le sigh <- also, in that date – was Finn the third wheel or Kurt? Because early on, I decided that it was Finn. Otherwise, why would wouldn't Blaine have been there?

    Santana on the verge of tears and Santana flashing to Brit had me flailing all day. I love the writers for actually giving her more to do. She's been so adorable.

    Burt's comment to Finn about his "brother" running the shop… Oy. Burt. There needs to be a spin-off. For realsies. This man makes me tear up with just a look.

    Ah! Kurt's been sad you say? Yes! I agree. I didn't notice really, but looking back I totally see it. I think I've come to the realization that if there's going to be a significant amount of Brittana – there will be less Klaine. It's unfortunate, but I take what I can get. There was so much good Santana, I am letting it make up for the relative lack of B/Klaine.

    There’s more I’m sure…

    Oh yeah: BECKY FOR PRESIDENT.

  • darkhawkhealer

    Okay, I *KNOW* it’s a nitpicky nitpick, but… Finn’s dad ‘died in Iraq’ when??

    No, I know about how he died after he came home with what I’m assuming is PTSD. I get that. But even assuming Finn is 18, that would still have put him born in like ’94, and before this particular war, the last time we were really in Iraq was Operation Desert Storm/Desert Shield, waaaaaaaay back in 1990-91. Which is before Finn was even conceived. And I know things like PTSD/addictions/downward spirals don’t happen overnight and certainly not even within a year, but. But!

    They just. They don’t explain things enough for me, I guess. My mother just retired from the Navy after 26 years; I tend to perk up at the mention of other military children/families.

    And to tell you the truth? Because I’m a child of the military, I found myself rather annoyed by both Will’s reaction (I’m talking the face he made before it cut to commercial), AND the fact that he overstepped his bounds and called in Burt and Carole for an intervention.

    In fact, in that entire scene, the only person’s reaction I was okay with (and yes, a little sympathetic for) was Carole’s. Burt just irritated me by his comments – Kurt was RAISED with that garage, and he’s saying that Kurt wouldn’t be able to handle running it if he had to? Who ran it while Burt was in the hospital?

    I mean, I’m not saying that enlisting would be the best choice for Finn (or hell, even a GOOD one); I think I’m just disappointed because I think it could have been handled better.

    But then, it is Glee, so…

    As far as the Klaine thing goes…I keep getting indignant that the writers/choreographers/Ryan Murphy himself chooses to split Blaine and Kurt up the way they do in songs. Just because Kurt is gay does NOT mean he has a vagina, and just because he’s more fabulous than Blaine is no reason to stick him with the girls and keep Blaine with the boys. I just want to shake them until they understand that you can be gay and a ‘guy’, too.

    I distinctly remember there have been times when Will has split the kids up into boys vs girls, and made Kurt go with the boys. Why isn’t anybody saying anything now?

    Rachel needs to stop rocking my favorite clothing style (retro-dresses/skirts/bathing suits), because she looks better in it than I do, and thus this is not acceptable. :P

  • Suzanne

    “Will asks Finn to be his best man, and Will? You need adult friends.” Who else thought of Buffy saying, “She’s like 40! She’s got way better things to do than hang out with a bunch of kids.” *raises hand*

    Agreed — First Time Ever I Say Your Face was stunning.

  • Phinney28

    NeNe was amazing and hilarious. So good.
    Will is terrifying. Was watching Glee with a friend of mine who is not a fan and she kept asking why Will was doing weird things and I kept yelling “Cause he’s the worst teacher on the planet.” Seriously he used to be a good teacher and now he’s just the creepiest man alive.
    I too was ignoring Will to focus on DCriss in the back.
    I do not like Shane. He used to be whatever but he was such an ass in this ep.
    I wish we could have good Brittana and Klaine moments in the same ep :( and no Will would be an nice added bonus.
    Sue was so amazing and all around nice in this ep.
    Emma deserves better than Will cause he sucks. I really hate him.
    Artie wheeling himself into the pool scarred me so bad. I’m a lifeguard and I don’t know if that has something to do with it but I was horrified. Him being on the floaty chair was cute but just wheeling himself in like that…shudder. I just did not like that at all.
    I love Becky. I love Helen Mirren as her inner voice too. Hilarious.
    Ug I want Rachel to say no.
    No I was not satisfied with the Klaine moment. I mean it was awesome and adorable but not enough. Though there is never enough Klaine in my opinion…actually there COULD never be enough Klaine.
    I am sooooooooo sick of the hiatuses. I hate it so much. You just get back into in and then have to wait at least another two weeks to see another ep like what is up with that?

    • OKAY I AM GLAD SOMEONE ELSE WAS SCARED FOR ARTIE. Because holy shit I gasped.

      I haaaaate the hiatuses, but it’s almost over! So close…

      • Phinney28

        I screamed “Mom Artie’s gonna die!!!” She was like “Calm down of course he’s not.” But man I was freaked.
        We made it! The hiatus is over and we got the ep last night woooo hoooo!
        And even though I care not at all for the Spanish ep (a large portion of that being the lack of one Mr. DCriss) I am glad we don’t have to wait two weeks or more for the next ep.

        • Many rainbows

          I just watched this episode, and when i saw Artie wheel himself into the pool, for every scene after until they showed him on the floatie chair I was scanning the bottom of the pool. that just.. seemed SO WRONG to me!

  • out_there

    Sue concedes her loss (ha) and realizes that her last option was now – shudder – David Boreanaz. Ha.

    You know what? The David Boreanaz references never fail to make me cackle. For some reason, he’s the best back-up second-choice ever. (Probably because I’m a BtVS/AtS fan and he’s still a first-choice for me.)

    (I was too busy trying to watch Darren Criss in the back row making love to his microphone stand. I am nothing if not predictable. And right.)

    I didn’t even notice Darren was in that scene. Mostly because I liked Will in first season and I still find him remarkably hot when he stops saying all of these terribly inappropriate things and just dances instead. Non-talking dancing Will is my favourite.

    Santana pipes up with, “I know that girl. She’s a sly, conniving bitch.” Naya has been getting the best lines for weeks now.

    I loved that line more than I can say. Partly because Santana always has something mean to say about everyone (other than Brittany), but mostly because it’s a line that suggests she sees Becky as a person first (i.e. personality counts) and a disability second. It’s a nice turn-around from s1 and everyone being surprised that Brittany was willingly friends with Becky.

    Finn naturally feels betrayed, trying to make her understand that her waiting to tell him when he “was ready” was stupid, because how can anyone be ready to hear that!? He’s not wrong.

    True, but Finn’s immediate reaction is to judge himself by association and question his own value. I mean, it’s not a great secret to keep, sure, but telling a teenage boy about it — in the midst of hormones and self-esteem issues — isn’t a great choice either. I’m actually with Carole here on her choice not to tell him younger, and her strength to tell him when she realised he was making a possibly harmful decision based on that lie.

    were you satisfied by the Klaine smile and I’m out of touch? Were you moved by Santana and Brittany? Did you want to rush out and buy those cute 40s style bathing suits on the girls?

    Actually, I’ll take the Klaine smile because there are a lot of couples on this show and on an episode focused on Finn/Rachel and Emma/Will, I like that we still had a tiny acknowledgement of Klaine in the background. (If it had been an episode focused on Kurt and Blaine more, I’d expect a lot more Klaine moments.)

    Mind you, I like that we actually got to see some Santana/Brittany. Little moments but it’s nice to get to see them in love.

    And if I didn’t have an awesome 50s bikini, I’d totally want those 40s style bathing suits. They were lovely.