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This was a fascinating episode, especially because of the juxtaposition of causes and material hoards. I found myself wondering how someone gets to the point where they have 500 properties full of stuff. What has to be in place for that to happen? It’s not just money, because Scott clearly shot past the point of being able to sustain his hoard some time ago. It’s not just imbalanced relationships, because for all that we could wonder whether he’d been enabled, you can’t just force a person to stop hoarding. I get, obviously, that hoarding is an illness – what I’m poking at more is when do you hit the wall of unsustainability? Is there ever that wall?
I admit that I didn’t make the connection between Kathleen’s husband and the owl in the freezer to begin with. I think perhaps I was too busy blinking at the screen and thinking . . . well now I think I’ve seen it all. (And no doubt the show will disabuse me of that notion by next week!) But oh, it was so clear so quickly that her heart was so bruised and battered. Grief is so powerful, and I think so few of us know how to grieve well. In that immediate moment there is no wrong response to grief – like Dr. Chabaud said, keeping the ashtray when her husband was newly gone was not at all crazy. But when grief stays, when grief feels impossible to let go of (like the ashtray) . . . I’m not sure many of us know where the line is, or what to do about it.
I’m so glad Kathleen was able to take such joy in her clean house and her new nature room. And DOROTHY. Oh, lord, I love that lady so much. Her heart is on her sleeve and I adore her for it.
I just couldn’t get past the sheer number of properties that Scott had. And that he had hoarded out! It’s absolutely mind boggling.
I wonder if the point of no return is when you’re thrown out and no family will take you in and you’re on the street. (But then, there are some homeless people that pack their carts and boxes full of cast offs as well.) I’d love to hear an expert’s take on that, too.
I think I wasn’t shocked by the owl in the freezer initially because I’ve known taxidermists, and that’s where you put them until you begin to work. HOWEVER. They usually have a freezer in a workshop, not, say, in a home kitchen. That’s definitely unique!
Her grief was absolutely palpable. I had to stop and just breathe a few times when she was so distraught over the love she and her husband had shared. “I think so few of us know how to grieve well.” You’re absolutely right. I think a wonderful service the show does for the audience is showing how so much of this is a result of grief gone wrong. It’s something we can understand, the loss.
I had to immediately fire off a message to Dorothy telling her how touched I was for the gift of the “nature center.” It just meant the world to Kathleen, and I think Dorothy was a little overcome with how huge a gift it turned out to be, as well. (And how gracious Kathleen was for the help.) I just love that Ms. Breininger. I bet she’s a great hugger. :)
From all the things I’ve read about our episode, I would just like to say I appreciate how compassionate you guys have been here.
We have tons of work to do, but we’re doing it together, because at the end of this mess, there is a life for her. Better still, there’s love, because my mom is an amazing woman who deserves nothing less.
The people of the show are and have been amazing. Everything you saw was true as it happened, and I’ve never been prouder of my mom as I was over those 4 days. Imagine harboring this terrible disorder for this many years. What she did during that time, was defy psychic gravity. To know her for a second, is to love her for life.
Thanks for the kindness. It’s easy to judge. Hard to walk a mile.
Kristen, I am so happy to see you commenting! Your mother just absolutely touched me, and I wish nothing but the very best for her and all of you. I just wanted to give her a huge hug and then have her take me to her new “specimens room” and tell me all about her things. :)
I don’t tolerate bashing on our site – this is a place where I’m trying to show how easy it can be to understand, the more we all learn about various ways that mental health issues present themselves.
Truly and from the bottom of my heart, I hope you, your brother and mother have a wonderful, healthy healing. All the best.
Kristen – I’m so glad to know that things are going well. I can only imagine how much work there is to undertake, and how much daily work there is to stay committed to the process for everyone, especially your mom! But the love you speak of shone through on the show – with that at your back, with the insights the show team brought, with the help you have, I can’t imagine anything but beautiful things ahead.
I’m the child of a hoarder; I know what it is to live in a home that someone you love has hoarded out. You have nothing but warm wishes coming from this corner!
I’ll keep this short. Thank you for this kind, forgiving memoir. What happens going forward for us is still sticky and tricky, no doubt. We’re up against some serious sh*t, just by nature of the disorder. What I LOVE about my mom (which is part of my thousands of reasons) is, just like me, she is a tenacious B. When she can’t, I can and vice versa. :)
I really don’t give a shit about what people think (that comes with age and chutzpah), what I care about is that folks understand this is a real, debilitating disorder that sleeps until it’s pressed. This isn’t just us, 3 Million people suffer and it doesn’t go away because you want it to.
The Hoarders show hasn’t and shouldn’t fix it. What it does is gives us the shot we never had alone. What happens now is up to us. Can’t promise I’ll keep y’all posted, all I can say is that, as a family, we’re going to fight and try like hell to right the ship.
If ever there was a woman who deserved to love herself, it’s Kathleen. Nobody in our camp would ever imagine otherwise. She’s too awesome.
Hey, Kristen, glad you came back!
I have to say, I still think of your mother from time to time, and wish nothing but the best for her. What a sweet lady she seems to be.
What I love about the show is that it’s doing just what you said: showing people that this is a DISORDER. It’s a health issue. And it’s not some isolated thing, there are 3 million + with it. Categorizing people with Hoarders as “lazy or dirty” isn’t right, it’s not helpful, and it’s just damaging to their recovery.
Don’t feel pressured to keep us updated, I’m just happy that you have! And seriously: there’s a lady in Texas (me) that thinks your mom is awesome and wants nothing but the best for her. And my readers feel the same. All the best, truly.