The Bachelor; Season Ben; Episode 7

So many HOs. So little time.

We begin episode 7 in Belize with Ben saying he’s in a perfect place as we see him driving yet another giant phallic symbol across the ocean. He admits that the “feelings are there” but he’s not ready to say the words yet.

This is the final date week leading up to the ‘hometown’ dates, so in everyone’s mind, it’s a big deal. Kacie is as “in love with Ben as she can get.” She admits she should be happy, but it’s hard to be happy when there are 5 other women who think they are just as in love with the same guy.

Mr. Overpaid comes out to remind the girls that Ben said that he thinks his wife is in this group of girls. Things are different in Belize. There are three 1-on-1 dates and one group date.

Lindzi gets the first date card: two halfs make a whole… She’s excited, and all the other ho-testants are crying in their cornflakes. Especially Nicki. “It’s really real now. And it’s scary.” Honey blow your nose and try to remember this is group dating. Get over it.

They take a helicopter ride to a blue hole that is surrounded by a coral reef. Ben tells Lindzy they are going to jump out of the helicopter into the blue hole. Lindzi is terrified and I sense another motivational poster moment. Yup. There it is. “After jumping out of a helicopter together, I feel like there is nothing we can’t accomplish.”

Meanwhile back in the Den of Vipers…

Courtney is mouthing off about wanting a 1-on-1 date and being in a relationship with Ben. Kacie is all, “We’re ALL in a relationship with Ben, duh!” The next date card arrives and EminEmily gets it: Do you “Belize” in love. (hoark) Courtney cries to the camera that it’s not fair, because she’s only had 1 date with Ben… Of course, that’s not really true since she’s made every group date a 1-on-1 date–and let’s not forget her handy dandy in the ocean.

EminEmily is so excited about her date. She thinks they are on track and can’t wait to get Ben alone. Em is flown to an island where she and Ben ride bikes through the quaint beach town. They play White Men Can’t Jump with a couple of villagers, shop with some local vendors and just enjoy the sites. They “decide” they want fresh lobster for dinner so a local merchant takes them diving for their dinner.

While Ben and EminEmily are diving for decapods, the ho-testants are back at the ho-stead being cliched. Courtney is lamenting to Lindzi (her #2 enemy but now new BFF since Casey S. went back home to her other boyfriend). She’s discouraged and uncomfortable that he could be falling for someone who treated her so badly. She wants a man to make her feel special and loved and important…not someone who will be making out with a person who treats her like crap. It’s funny how she’s forgotten that she’s the bitch who started it all.

Dramatically she says, “I wish Ben would send me home and just make it easy for me. I’m not ready for him to meet my family.”

EminEmily and Ben are dancing the night away with some locals and making out on the dance floor. Ben says he could see himself loving this woman. They sit down for their lobster dinner and Ben asks the tough question about is she ready for him to meet her family. And she answers by bringing up Courtney…she says she realizes they lost valuable time together, but after today, she’s definitely ready. I’m gonna call it right now…she mentioned Courtney…she’s going home tonight.

Courtney is stirring the pot at home, by saying if anyone gets sent home on a 1-on-1 date it should be Emily. She says it would be really telling to her that if she doesn’t get a 1-on-1 date, that would tell her a lot about how he’s feeling about her since she’s only been on 1 date with him. Of course, the date card arrives: Courtney, let’s take the next steps in our relationship.

“Oh snap,” she says. “That’s exciting. It’s about time! Now give me my date card! Whoohoo! He hasn’t forgotten about me. This is exciting. He’s a good boy. He does listen.”

As you can imagine, these things did not go over well with the other ho-testants. Kacie wanted to “spring across the room and punch her in face. Courtney is a black widow.”

Courtney is flown to the island of Lamanai where they will be climbing to the top of an ancient Mayan Temple. It’s a breathtaking view, but all Courtney can focus on is EminEmily. She admits that if he hadn’t given her a 1-on-1 date this time, she wouldn’t have accepted a rose from him or taken him to meet her family. She tells him the last group date she was on, the spark seemed to fade and it was more like hanging with a friend. “I’ve lost the spark, babe.”

Ben looks like she just kicked him in the vegetables with a steel-toed boot. Ben says he would be crushed if Courtney doesn’t reciprocate the feelings he has for her. He turns into a little boy and he says out of anyone, she seems to care. He didn’t realize how much he wanted someone with a little edge. He likes that she stands out in the group dates.

Motivational poster moment as they climbed to the top of the temple. “Each step we took together was like taking a step in our relationship.” Then they desecrated the temple by making out.

Back at the ho-stead, the girls tell EminEmily that if there had ever been any doubts about the kind of person Courtney is, they were washed away last night. Courtney confirmed that she is selfish and mean with everything she said while Ben and Em were out.

Ben and Courtney are at dinner toasting a great day, and one thing I notice is that every time Courtney speaks to Ben, she looks away and looks down constantly. They have a discussion about soul mates and Ben says he believes in soul mates and that he had a crazy moment of clarity with her on top of the temple. He pictures her in his life.

Note to Ben…it’s highly unlikely you will find your soul mate on a game show, er, reality tv show called The Bachelor.

In Courtney’s private interview she says, “I’m high on love right now. Snap girls, show’s over. Pack your bags. Kill shot.”

This is winning.

Date card arrives and it’s the group date: Rachel, Nicki, and Kacie: Let’s Sea who’s family I get to meet.

At dinner, Courtney tells Ben that all the girls are ‘vanilla’ and into themselves. These are not women she would ever like or hang out with. Ben is concerned that she doesn’t get along with women and is she able to connect to others in real life? Courtney says she’s just not impressed with these women. Ben doesn’t want to believe that Courtney is two-faced based on Emily’s opnion. Ben doesn’t want to be with someone who he enjoys but nobody else does.

He might should be doing some exit interviews when he sends the other ho-testants packing.

It’s Group Date time, and Ben is waking all the girls up at 4:00 a.m. for their very special date. They are going to swim with the sharks and apparently sharks only swim at dawn. They’ve been swimming with Courtney for weeks, so this should be no biggie.

Rachel is terrified of sharks. Physically terrified. “Do you promise these sharks can’t kill us?” She looks like she’s going to vomit.

Chum is thrown in, and Rachel begs please stop baiting them! Kacie and Nicki are stoked. They jump in without looking back. Rachel? Nope. Not so much. She starts to ease in. Honestly, if sharks can smell fear, she’s gonna be breakfast. Finally, Ben takes her hand and they jump in together. This is a group date, but because Rachel is so scared, swimming with the sharks turns into swimming with Rachel. Kacie and Nicki are very jealous and hope she doesn’t get the rose just because she “concquered her fear.”

This is the only date where a rose will be handed out so all the girls are on edge. They want that rose like Courtney wants to win. The individual time with all the women is all focused on meeting families and making out. Ben is getting his share of tongue today. I hope he doesn’t have thrush because if he does, he’s spreading it like butter. He finally makes the tough decision of giving Kacie the rose because during her time, she told him she was in love with him.

Courtney is at the house talking about how late their night was last night and how exhausted he must be. “Two girls are going home tonight. Hehehehehe.”

After the group returns from their date, they sit outside the house and Ben reiterates how happy he is that everyone he’s dating has been open and honest and it makes him so happy to know he’s got a great group of women here. The silent response he gets is deafening and finally Nicki says, “This is awkward.” They all tell him how they just want him to be happy but they see so much of a certain person that they are afraid he doesn’t see it and is going get hurt. “We want you to be cautious about Courtney.”

Ben’s shocked. He has some serious concerns now that other women have voiced the same concerns as Emily.

At the cocktail party, the girls are talking about being nervous and Courtney is just sipping her pina colada and smirking and making faces. “Well I’m feeling good, too lighten the mood.” Emily is feeling serious and Courtney is all happy “glass is half-full!” blah blah. And then she makes the comment that “Ben’s not the only guy in the world.” And the other girls are freaked out because they think he should be the only guy in the world if you’re on the show for the “right reasons.”

Ben decides to cut the cocktail party short and just go right to the rose ceremony. He’s made up his mind and there’s no need to spend any more time with the ho-testants who don’t stand a chance.

“Hi ladies. This week in Belize was the best week yet. (blah, blah, blah..hometown visits coming up, blah. blah. blah.) But before I start the rose ceremony, I was wondering if I could steal Courtney away for just a few minutes?”

Courtney is all, “Of course!” and the other ho-testants are all “Yes! this is it!”

Ben tells Courtney that he knows this has been difficult for her but he wants to make sure she’s in this for all the right reasons. The other girls are excited because they just “know” this means that Ben listened to them and is sending her packing. Which cracks me up because it’s like they have forgotten what their biggest issue with Courtney is: She’s all about herself and she can manipulate any situation like play-do. This is NOT going to end well for the girls who think Ben is sending Courtney home.

Courtney tells Ben: “With all due respect, the only reason I’m here is for you, I’m not here to make friends. They’ve said things to you and it’s bummed me out and it’s been hard for me, but I think we can make each other happy. I don’t want you to question me at all. I’ve been nothing but open and honest.”

Let’s get right to it, Courtney isn’t going home. If you think she is, then you’ve never watched this show before.

Much to their surprise, the two girls who are sent packing are Rachel and EminEmily. I think Em was the most shocked and Rachel was the most devastated. Courtney took her rose, skipped back, and said in a squeaky voice as she inhaled the rose deeply, “Thank you!” Then she smirked at EminEmily. As Em says good-bye, Courtney says “See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!” and waves her off with her rose.

And for your consolation prize, you get MORE TONGUE.

Hometown dates are next week. It’s gonna be interesting since 3 of the 4 are into him…and Courtney is into winning. She’s getting a horrible edit but I don’t care, this girl doesn’t have a genuine bone in her handy dandy palm.

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