The Bachelor; Season Ben; The Final Rose

Just in case you didn’t know…it’s “insanely beautiful” in the Alps. And also “Incredible.”

Ben starts the show by telling us he’s madly in love with both women. He needs more time with Lindzi and he has some concerns about Courtney, but they have a great connection. He has one week left to make some big decisions.

He’s going to make this decision with the help of his mom and sister. He needs some “outside perspective.” He seriously starts crying when they walk in. Look, ladies, I like a sensitive guy but damn! Ben is a momma’s boy! And this means that no matter who he picks, that woman will never live up to his momma.

Ben’s sister warns him right off the bat that a woman who doesn’t get along with other women, that it’s a huge red flag.

You see where this is going, right? Yes, he’s going to pick Courtney and locusts and frogs will plague the earth.

First up in the family meet and greet is Lindzi. First thing out of Ben’s mouth “she rode up on the horse.” They sit down at the table and Lindzi drops her fork over and over.

Lindzi really needs to lighten up on the makeup.

Mom grills Lindzi and it’s just a forced interview where Lindzi tells Mom what she wants to hear so she’ll report good things. Her interview with Julia (the sister) was a little more relaxed, until she asked about the drama with Courtney. Lindzi says, “Courtney is very different from myself. She’s very shut off. We’re very different.” Julia says she’d be very happy if Ben picks Lindzi. She thinks they are a good fit and feels that Lindzi is very warm and friendly.

It’s Courtney’s turn…

The minute Julia heard Courtney was a model, that sealed the deal. She’s off the list… A model who doesn’t like other women! NO BEN FOR YOU!

So naturally, the first subject we must tackle is the “model/actress” thing. And Courtney says she gets that a lot…even in the house, a lot of the girls were immediately judgey of her because of her job. Cue dramatic music and knowing glances from Julia to her mom.

It’s alone time with Julia, and she’s planning to say it how it is. She tells Courtney she’s heard a few things about not getting along with the other girls and wants to address it. Courtney says she tried with the other girls, but she did react badly a few times, but she’s in love with Ben and would never hurt him.
Mom wants the best for him. Courtney tells her he’s just getting better and better and that she’s in love with him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. The meeting started off stilted but seemed to end much more relaxed.

Ben follows up with Julia. She says she’s shocked by how amazing Courtney seemed. She’s sweet and thinks she would fit in really well with the family. Her preconceived notions were “put to rest.” Mom called her a very kind person. Ben seems happy and in love with her, and who doesn’t want to see happiness for their children.

INCREDIBLE. That’s how Ben describes everyone and everything. I hate that word after this season. It’s incredibly annoying.

Date time. It’s the last day for Lindzi and Ben to see each other before the big decision. They start off with a horse and carriage ride through the village, then they go skiing. We have our first real motivational poster moment when Lindzi compares skiing for the first time to relationships. Something about taking risks and taking falls or maybe slamming into trees or were they being chased by the paper boy who just wanted his $2? What? Oh never mind. It was a cheesy moment and I just made it better. You’re welcome.

I am not disappointed…there is a picnic on the gondola ride. I’m so glad he’s not boring and doesn’t do the same ol’ thing every date.

They have their moment in the sky when the gondola stops in front of the Matterhorn. She confesses her undying love…opens up like she never has. He plays along like she is the only person he’s dating and the only one he wants to be with. And I suppose in that very moment, that’s exactly what is happening. But she’s not the only one he’s dating, she’s not the only one he wants to be with. And after they finish their date, he gets to move on to Plan C-ourtney.

Speaking of Plan C… Ben and Courtney meet at the train tracks only to be picked up by a helicopter. Wow. Again. His date repertoire is so deep. Are they going to ski and have a picnic, too? They flew over the Matterhorn and Ben nearly pees his pants…then he ruins it by saying, “I hope this means our relationship is progressing to new heights.” Gag.

They have a, wait for it… picnic lunch. And sled. I’m glad they sled. Skiing sitting down is very different from skiing.

BTW, Ben feels incredible. He’s in love with both women and it’s incredible. And the Alps are incredible. And the Matterhorn is incredible. And boy does he have a big decision to make.

Really? That’s all I needed to write for this whole show.

At dinner Courtney gives Ben a scrapbook of their dates. It was a very sweet gift. And, if you’ve never watched this show before, gift giving and letters in the final episode tend to seal the deal. She reads him a lovely letter that actually sounded like she wrote it. She was nervous but I’m telling you she sealed the deal. It’s over. Done. Sorry, Lindzi. I’ll eat my hat if he doesn’t pick Courtney.

(I’m not wearing a hat, but I’ll go put one on and eat it.)

It’s proposal day and we see all the clips of each couple’s “incredible journey.” And hear voiceovers from all three about why they want to be with each other. Ben says he’s made his choice. He knows this is the right decision and he’s ready to propose.

A door-to-door jeweler shows up with the goods. Ben makes his choice and says there is only one woman he’s thinking about while choosing. He doesn’t want to break someone’s heart but he knows he has to.

Both women look incredible. (I can’t stop saying it! Damn you Ben!) They are flown to the super secret engagement/heartbreak site which is just in front of the Matterhorn. Ben believes a big moment like this deserves a big mountain. Or was it a big rock should be given in front of a big rock? I don’t know. I’m motivationaled out.

First woman to arrive…Lindzi. And this is where, if you haven’t ever seen the show before, you know the first off is the first to go. Mr. Overpaid escorts her to the spot and she stumbles in her 6-inch heels because they weren’t made by Timberland.

Lindzi develops diarrhea of the mouth and starts rambling about how awesome this moment is and how excited she is to have found love and blah and blah and blah. Ben starts fumbling with his words, tells her she’s incredible (duh) and is all about first impressions and she’s exactly the kind of woman he’s looked for all his life. He tells her that at one point in Ocala, he really was at his most vulnerable moment and that he wants her to know he’s fallen in love with her but… he needs those moments to last a lifetime and he’s really in love with someone else.

Her face hardens immediately. “I’m sorry.” She doesn’t respond. “Can I walk you out?” She nods. They hold hands, he sighs, she remains stoic, and then stops. She consoles HIM. He’s all “I’m still shaking.” And she’s like, “Don’t be.” Then she says, “Good luck. And if things don’t work out, call me?” He was taken aback, but nodded.

Lindzi says if he wants to marry Courtney he’s a complete fool.

Camera pans to the final rose and Ben holding the glittery ring. Courtney gracefully exits the chopper and Mr. Overpaid escorts her to Ben’s side.

“What a journey. It’s been an incredible road.” (ugh)

Ben tells Courtney that he always has incredible moments with her. And that he thinks she’s an incredible woman. “But, I promised myself that I wouldn’t get down on one knee again unless I was certain that it was forever and I want to tell you, you are my forever.”

He proposes, she says yes. And then they just say I love you, I love you so much, I love you, I love you so much. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

“Courtney will you accept this rose?” No Ben. I wanted the ring, it’s on my finger. Keep the damn rose.

Stay tuned for After The Final Rose…are they still engaged?

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  • Clint Eastwood’s Rubber Ducky

    AGH WHAT A MORON!!!!!!!!!!

    Do you think Courtney was sincere, or that the whole thing was a plot to climb to the top of the heap and then put on the ‘pool ol me’ act?

    This is maybe my favorite review yet, and might I add, I freaking LOVED the juxtoposition of the ‘incredible’ blah blah quotes right underneath the press shots of the three of em looking so polished, bland, and.. supa all american. (also, I hadn’t seen Ben before the photo and am kind of struck by the fact that he looks like Donkey from Shrek)

    How awful for Lindzi though that she dump out a metric shit ton of her innermost thoughts and feelings (maybe I am giving too much benefit of the doubt to someone on a reality show) only to get the ‘yeah thanks for playing’ yanked off the stage w a cane deal. Why would anyone WANT to be on this show, on either side of the rose giving schlock?

    My day has started with teh awesome thanks to your review!! can’t wait to read the next one and see if the golden couple is hitched or has restraining orders out against each other.

    and does anyone know what happened to ryan and trista, aka the only happy couple that has resulted from this trainwreck? Last I saw at the supermarket checkout (about 500 years ago), they had a few kids?

    • I admit it. I warmed up to Plan C. I did. I think she was a total bitch throughout the season, but I know I would have been worse had I been in her shoes. Now, I don’t feel sorry for them and the flack they’re getting. I’m not really sure what they expected…you ARE DATING ON A REALITY TV SHOW. C’mon!

      And regarding Lindzi: I think she was a genuinely sweet girl, but you don’t go on a show like this without risking heartbreak. You just don’t. And if that was her biggest fear, then she’s a bit of a moron. There was a 1/25 chance she would get chosen…those are great odds for the lottery, but not so much on The Bachelor.

  • Clint Eastwood’s Rubber Ducky

    p.s. sorry for spelling mistakes, only on first cup of coffee!

  • Fun recap! It was probably one of the most bland and unromantic proposals ever in my opinion. The only thing that saved it was the backdrop. I was so hoping that Courtney would either look at the camera and either shout, “winning!” or “check out my bling, bitches!” But alas, they either edited that out or she swallowed her tongue and decided she’d done enough damage to her rep. Too bad. Would have made for an awesome ending ;)