Supernatural 7.23 – Survival of the Fittest

Carry On My Wayward Son plays, the season finale is upon us.

Last we left everyone, Dick had summoned Crowley to SucroCorp. Now, don’t get it wrong, Dick Roman is a gracious host. He may summon you and entrap you, he’ll most likely threaten you, but the man will also offer you a tumbler of some top shelf booze and that ain’t bad.

Crowley isn’t a cheap date though and he doesn’t forgive easily. He remembers Dick Roman’s harsh words from the last time they met and figures Dick wouldn’t be friending him up if he wasn’t in a bit of a spot himself. Crowley knows that Dick has the prophet and knows the score, just as Dick knows that if Crowley goes up in smoke his will clearly bequeaths a vile of his blood to Messrs. Winchester and Winchester.

So here’s the deal, Crowley, you give Dick Roman your full backing by handing Sam and Dean a vile of generic Tri-State demon blood and in return he’ll give you entirety of Canada to wheel, deal and string up by wires. Crowley accepts. Dick Roman is a fancy lady, a working gal, a pretty woman, and as such doesn’t let intimacies like kissing get in the way, so Crowley pulls out an elder scroll about as long as Sam Winchester and they get down to weeding through the legalese. Party of the first party shall not screw over the second party or else the first party will end all existence above and below, blah, blah, blah.

As for the brothers, well, it seems Dean Winchester’s penitent for tasteless asides turned out to be a spark of brilliance in Sam’s opinion. Dean isn’t so sure, but the alternative a nude angel car modeling for Entomology Weekly and he’s not okay with that. So Sam and Dean make their way to a nunnery crypt, and with the burial ledger sort of the most righteous of the righteous. Once they agree on a deceased nun that was in it solely for the lord and not for the fame and glory the uncork her and steal her femur.

While everyone takes care of business, Bobby is still driving the maid’s bones. He’s watching Dick Roman on the news and you can practically see the vengeful steam coming out of his ears. Her ears. Whatever.

Sam and Dean are ready to bake their cake, they just need Crowley to pony up the last ingredient or else it won’t rise in the oven. They chant their chant, but Crowley doesn’t magically appear. Dean feels like the unpopular girl that bought a pretty dress for the prom before she knew the jock was just screwing with her. Before he has time to burn down the high school gymnasium, there’s a knock at the door with Meg on the other side of it. Maybe Sam and Dean got their Latin twisted? No, turns out that Meg’s plan of making like a tree was thwarted by a babble angel with a crush, but she’s not having it, emotional and mental breakdowns are not her thing. They are Dean’s though, it’s old hat at this point.

Dean finds Castiel in the car listening to “Vincent” and contemplating whether the song is really about Van Gogh or if it’s a hidden message about Bob Ross, whether cosmetic animal testing is animal cruelty or a cruel joke on animals. Dean rallies him up and gets him inside where Castiel rambles on about shoes and ships and sealing wax and recognizes Sister Mary Constant from the scent of her decaying leg bone. Just another day a Winchester, Winchester and Co.

The good news is that Castiel followed his gut and went to check on the prophet and his angelic keepers, the bad news is they were dead and Kevin Tran was gone. Castiel’s garrison is gone and he’s alone and he’s completely passive on the fighting crime front. He’s not down to wield, slice, dice or throw blows.

Meg has a bigger concern; the summoning ritual remains scattered about and Crowley suddenly swagging into the room. Crowley is confused because Castiel is supposed to be dead and he’s fairly certain that the Winchester’s neglected to mention that he’s alive and well. Okay, “well” is debatable, because Castiel is far more interested in the butterfly effect and honeycombs than angels.

Bored with the circus, Crowley gets into how Dick had him trapped and offered him a deal, but that he’s no Alpha Vamp and he’s not going to toe that line. The brothers are distrustful and Crowley tells them they’d do well to stay that way, being Fox Mulder is the way to live. Trust only leads to heartache, ya know.

Crowley is willing to give the boys his blood, but not before letting it know that Castiel is vital to the mission and that’s the only reason he’s not deep-frying Meg in transfats as they speak. This gets the first physical reaction of Castiel we’ve seen in a long time.

Dick Roman and his assistant, Susan, are strolling down the hallway checking their Twitter accounts when Dick tells her to go fetch him something from the freezer. Turns out Dick Roman has a bit of Mulder in him as well and doesn’t think signed contracts will stop Crowley from screwing him blind on their deal. The freezer pop turns out to be this whole weird thing with an arm in a box. It’s not the Judge’s arm though; it’s the real Richard Roman’s appendage.

Remember Kevin Tran? He’s in advance placement and, oh yeah, he’s the prophet. He’s still captive in SucroCorp, locked in a room with a Dazed and Confused extra named Polly who’s busy munching on a Twizzler. Not promising at all. An employ comes in with some dry cleaning and tells her to get dressed and she passively does. Kevin is less passive and uses a bobby pin to blow that popsicle stand. Well, he tries at least, but Susan one hell of an assistant.

Dick Roman has gathered a conference room full of Leviathan wearing some seriously powerful corporate faces. He’s discovered a glitch in their food Matrix, if you want to eat well you need fat, happy cows, but what happens when you have hyperglycemics overeating the crop and not gaining the girth? Cattle with a defined waist is a total waste. So Dick and his crack lab have devised and additive to creamer that instantly kills anyone with who’s short or smart or has a speedy metabolism. He’s breeding his own form of superior race here. He knows that his fellow teeth-heads want to see results so he gives them a live demo with the waifish Polly. Good-bye Polly, we hardly knew ye.

Back at the cabin, Sam and Dean are ready to bathe their sacred bone. There’s no ritual, no fireworks and they just have to assume they did it right. Castiel shows up with a sandwich prepared by fine Christian angels and no sweet tea to drink, a 100% corn syrup free meal for his growing boys. He’s still adamant about not going into battle though. On that note, Sam and Dean head to SucroCorp.

They’re minding their own business, just staking out and hacking feeds, when a truck pulls up. Sam recognizes the maid and knows Bobby’s riding her coattails. If that weren’t enough, their eye in SucroCorp’s sky is showing them not one, not two, but way too many Dick Romans to contend with. Dick Roman definitely knows the secret to mass production cloning. Sam goes after Bobby, leaving Dean to watch Doppeldickland.

Sam runs up to Bobby and scolds him for being in the maid. Wait… oh, you know what I mean. He warns Bobby that there are cameras all over and all this is going to accomplish is getting the maid eaten. Bobby replies by forcefully pushing Sam away. Sam tries an approach full of logic and reason: Bobby has no way of killing Dick. Bobby counters by drawing a blade with one hand and choking Sam out with the other. In the nick of time, Bobby finds his inner Jiminy Cricket and bolts out of the maid’s body, vanishing from existence. Which of course means Sam has to take care of her. And by “take care of her”, we mean drop her off at the nearest E.R.

She’s gonna be fine, Sam relays to them during their cabin reconvene. Meg is pissed the boys chose to same one human instead of storming the gates. Dean fills her in on the Dick gangbang going on a SucroCorp. Castiel is still unwilling to help. After all, he’s pretty much curses with the suck, everything he touch turns to apocalyptic dust. Dean tells Castiel that no one cares about his feelings, internal or regarding this situation, and to man up and glue himself and his mess back together.

Way harsh, Ty.

Castiel agrees and vanishes. Meg cannot believe she has to once again spell out the wonders of the universe for these humans. Castiel and the Leviathan share a bond, much like that of a mother and baby. Castiel can visually distinguish which Leviathan is Dick and which are poorly polyjuiced carbon copies. Castiel reappears with a game of Twister that really should have been played.

While they continue to try to figure this all out, Bobby comes back full of insults and blame gaming. See, never mind that he chose to remain on this plane knowing the consequences, the real problem is that the alone and mourning brothers should have burned the flask the minute they had it. Bobby says he still wants to hit the possession crack pipe. The only rehab that Bobby wants is peace. He lays down some words of wisdom and the brothers solemnly meltdown his flask. The flame of Bobby’s final demise lights up Dean’s face.

Dean’s had enough of all this, it’s time to get serious. He commandeers Castiel to flutter him back to the Impala so he can start taking care of business. Castiel reminds Dean that the are all harbingers of epic bad luck and that tiny bit of forgiveness pulls Castiel out of his pacifist funk.

Speaking of the Impala. She’s back, prettier, shiner and more horsepowery than ever. She’s speeding down the road straight into SucroCorp, gates and marquees be damned. When the glass settles it isn’t Sam and Dean meet the bullets of SucroCorp’s security, it’s Meg climbing out of the driver’s seat, walking head on into the hail of gunfire. Her distraction allows everyone else to make their way inside.

Dean and Castiel are off to find real Dick, while Sam’s is rescuing Princess Advanced Placement. They’ve spotted Dick, but so far not the real deal. They finally find him down in the lab, sipping on creamer cups and waiting. Dean pulls out his righteous bone and stabs Dick right thrown the chest. Dick promptly removes Dean’s bone from inside himself and snaps it in half. Good thing that was the decoy and in a moment of hesitation and over-gloating on Dick Roman’s part Dean stabs him through the throat with the real bone.

Right about this time the Sam and Kevin also find themselves in the library, because the prophet insisted on them blowing up the lab. However, the only thing to do right now is watch Dick blow his load. It’s survival of the fittest, bro, and right now Dick ain’t looking too fit.

Dick’s head explodes and when the goo clears Sam finds himself alone with Kevin.

And Crowley. Tricky thing about God weapons is there’s always a catch. This catch sent Dean and Castiel straight to purgatory. And Crowley, greedy demon lord that he is, leaves Sam to figure it all out while whisking off Kevin Tran.

Now Sam is left alone to figure out how to get everyone back.

Down in purgatory, the lost souls of rage and death are stalking Castiel and Dean through the blackened woods.

Nothing like a cliffhanger to end a season.

So…

What did you guys think of the finale? Of the season? Any deep thoughts or bones to pick?

Please like & share:
  • Mickey

    Ha, I was thinking if anyone read this who hadn’t seen the episode and didn’t know Supernatural, the whole thing would seem even more Fruit Loops than Cas!

    The finale was brilliant. It did exactly what a finale should do: it took us on a wild ride, it wrapped things up nicely, and it set up an attention-grabbing opener for next season.

    Plus there were just a lot of great moments in it, like Baby’s return, the sad goodbye to Bobby, Cas being all barmy about bees and boardgames, and Sam and Dean being all Sam and Dean.

    D: Still think this is a bad idea.
    S: It was your idea.
    D: I was joking!
    S: Bad joke. But good idea.

    I really enjoyed this season, and I can’t wait for season 8!

    • The finale had A LOT going on, but it worked, ya know?

      Yes! That was probably my favorite quote of the episode, especially since you have to just imagine Dean making that joke and Sam’s lightbulb going on. Brilliant.

  • Jeffrey

    good episode, not great. Dick was killed way too fast for all that build-up. Hopefully Meg survived because she is a great character and foil for Cas. I also hope they spend some time in purgatory..longer then Dean in Hell anyways. Overall good, not great.

    • Simon

      Who said he’s really dead? He exploded but his black goo got transported along with Cas & Dean. He probably won’t be a big bad anymore but maybe we’ll see him again.

    • I agree that it was not a great episode and I agree with your reasons as well. Dick and the Leviathans were fun (“Slash Fiction” was a season fave for me), but I felt that as a Big Bad they were a let down.

      I’m crossing my fingers that Meg comes back, she’s the longest running re-occurring character on the show and she deserves a better send off than her on her back with demons looming over her. Also, I love her, so yes, more Meg.

      Purgatory looks interesting and I hope we get to see that landscape unfold.

  • Chris

    I might watch this show for the boys, but the Metallicar sure helps! Welcome back, Baby! :)

    My wishlist for next season:
    1) Dean and Castiel learning to work together to survive Purgatory.
    1) Mary and John. Didn’t Grandpa Campbell mention Mary is stuck in Purgatory? Not that we need to be trusting him or anything, but he may not have been misinformed.
    2) Sam ACTUALLY finds a way to save Dean. This probably won’t happen, but wouldn’t that be somethin’?
    3) Claire and Castiel interaction.
    4) Vampire Gordon in Purgatory!!
    5) Remember Roadkill? I want Ash and Molly in Heaven because I think she is the only soul the brothers helped actually pass-on. Actually, if someone wants to write that fanfic, I won’t object. :)

    • I wholeheartedly agree with your wishlist! Especially with the Sam figuring out how to save Dean part. Missed opportunity in s3 that should be rectified in s8.

      Good catch on the Mary in Purgatory bit! I’d forgotten about that! Here’s hopin’.

  • Cath

    “Dean finds Castiel in the car listening to “Vincent” and contemplating whether the song is really about Van Gogh or if it’s a hidden message about Bob Ross” – um….UH MAH GAW. Words cannot adequately express my delight.

    This is why I enjoy your recaps so. It’s the little things.

    • Yay! I’m so glad that line worked because I definitely waffled about it. Thank you so, SO much for reading!

  • Jo

    Solid finale, though nothing could beat “Swan Song”, “AHBL2” or “No Rest for the Wicked.” Loved the ending with Dean and Cas in Purgatory!

    As for my wishlist for Season 8:
    1) Would love an appearance from Papa Winchester!
    2) A somewhat less messed up Cas. Misha was awesome as out-of-it Cas but would love to see him as his old self
    3) Sam should actually save Dean this time
    4) More Crowley
    Otherwise looking forward to the next time!

    • I’m actually really liking Castiel’s subtle insanity, though I do think he’ll become more stable in s8 because it’ll be difficult for him to be crazy and functional.

      YES. Sam should save Dean. The missed opportunity of s3 needs to be rectified in s8.

      More Crowley. Always.

  • Liz

    I didn’t get a lot of your references and asides but that’s okay…I was just looking for a recap and this got across most of the important details, I think.

    Just had a question though…whatever happened to Chuck? I saw a rebroadcast of the season 5 finale and noticed that he just disappears (which I hadn’t noticed on past viewings). Do you think his “mission” (for lack of a better word) was finished and his life ended? He was definitely a recurring character that I enjoyed seeing. This show kills off almost every single character (including Sam & Dean) so it wouldn’t surprise me if he was another casualty. I thought Bobby was safe but even he was killed off. No one who gets cast on Supernatural should blow their paycheck on something frivolous…it could be their last.

    • I’m glad you found the recap useful.

      The consensus with Chuck is that he is God. There’s different interpretations as to where he is now. Rob Benedict (Chuck) is a fan favorite, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we see him again.

  • Liz

    Any explanation why this website uses the tag “Supernaural” instead of “Supernatural”? It might boost your search engine results to correct this typo which is on every recap as well as the site’s index of shows.

    • The explanation was that it was a simple typo that humans occasionally make. Thank you for bringing it to our attention.