Teen Wolf – 1.03 – Pack Mentality

Scott and Allison sneak out of the darkened high school for a super romantic interlude…. in the back of a school bus? They smile at one another foolishly for a moment or two before getting down to the sexy business. Suddenly Scott starts shifting uncontrollably. He pulls away from Allison in a panic and tells her to run away, but of course she doesn’t listen. Instead, she get an eyeful of his full-on wolfish face as he turns around to attack. This just isn’t her night, is it.

oshi-

Allison carefully backs away and finally turns to run as Scott starts growling at her viciously. She’s not fast enough for his crazy puppy speed, and before she manages to get away, Scott grabs her ankles and trips her up. Then he drags her screaming and bloody to the back of the bus and GOOD GOD THIS HAD BETTER BE A BAD DREAM YOU GUYS.

*****

Of course it’s a dream, why did I even worry? Stupid wolves. The next day at school, Scott is describing his dream to Stiles, who seems awfully unconcerned about his BFF’s murderous dreams. Scott’s pretty freaked out, though, because the dream felt super creepily real to him. They’re both a little worried that this means Scott is going to freak out and actually attack Allison while he’s all wolfed out, but Scott thinks he has a viable solution—Derek.

Stiles is less than thrilled at the thought of Scott taking lessons in Werewolf Self Control 101 from a guy they’re both pretty sure is a crazed murderer, but what other choice does Scott have? Oh the wolfy teenage angst!

They exit the back of the school into the parking lot and OH SHIT, there’s the same bus Scott dreamed about last night, and would you look at that—it’s covered in blood.

(This scene is pretty hilarious to me, tbh. Why did they walk in the front door of the school, walk through the halls and then exit out the back door? Where are they going? Does anyone ever do anything that makes sense in Beacon Hills High School? Clearly not.)

*****

Back inside the school, Scott is back in freakout mode—Allison isn’t answering any of his text messages, and he doesn’t see her anywhere in the halls. Stiles tries his best to be reassuring but he looks awfully nervous himself. Scott starts stress-wolfing all over the place, and smashes open a locker with his crazy fists of rage. How does no one else notice that something is amiss here? Luckily, as he flails down the hall and turns the corner he runs straight into Allison. She’s totally fine, of course. They moon at one another for a bit and agree to meet at lunch.

Meanwhile, Jackson is having some trouble with his locker, the door of which is mysteriously torn off. Hee.

*****

Later, during chemistry class, Scott and Stiles are going over various unlikely scenarios—maybe the blood was Scott’s blood and he didn’t attack anyone! Or maybe Scott attacked an animal and not a person! Maybe he ate a little bunny, for example. Raw bunny?

i eated a bunny?

Scott’s confused puppy face is glorious to behold.

Stiles: No, you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven.

Mr. Harris, the incredibly pissy chemistry teacher, interrupts this delightful conversation to separate Scott and Stiles for talking in class. Scott ends up sitting in front of Jackson, who stares at him like he can’t decide whether to kill Scott or hump him relentlessly. Alas, no humping is to occur, because the girl seated next to Scott notices that the police have apparently found a body out behind the school, presumably the one that left all the blood inside the bus. Everyone runs to the window to look.

The EMTs wheel a mangled guy on stretcher over to a waiting ambulance, and as Scott quietly freaks out, the stretcher dude also freaks out, struggling and trying to leap away. The watching students shriek and flail like toddlers and totally miss Scott’s moment of total panic—he thinks he was responsible for the attack.

*****

During lunch, Stiles continues trying to talk Scott down from his hysteria. Scott is totally certain that what he saw last night wasn’t a dream, and he thinks that Derek will somehow be able to tell him what really happened. Stiles gives him an epic WTF face, but for once Scott’s logic is pretty sound—during the full moon, when Scott was running around in his panties and attacking everything that moved, Derek was in complete control of himself and wasn’t even wolfed out.

Scott grumpily decides he’ll need to cancel his date with Allison and go sit in the garden and eat worms instead. Stiles is in the middle of bitching him out for trying to cancel his entire life like a crybabywolf when out of fucking nowhere like a goddamn ninja, Lydia Martin sits down with them at their dork table like it ain’t no thang. Stiles immediately goes into full-on derpface mode, wittering on about homework and school and basically slobbering all over himself like a helpless flopsy bunny.

While they’re still trying to process this unprecedented event, the rest of Lydia’s Cool Kid friends sit down to join them, including Allison and Jackson and some unsettlingly hot gay dude named Danny, who does not look like any high school guy I’VE ever seen, I tell you what.

The Cool Kids begin discussing the events of the day—Danny thinks he heard the bus attack was a cougar; Jackson thinks it was a mountain lion. Lydia’s apparently the only one who knows they’re the same thing, but she’s pretty quick to hide her obvious intelligence from her boyfriend and friends. OH MY PRECIOUS DARLING PLEASE RULE THE WORLD.

Jackson doesn’t care WHAT kind of animal it was, as he assumes the victim was some random homeless creeper who would’ve died anyway. Stiles, however, has some more recent news—it turns out the victim was one of the bus drivers, and someone that Scott knew personally. This knowledge only makes Scott more twitchy and nervous.

Lydia finds the entire conversation tedious and annoying, and changes the subject to something far more interesting—where are she and Jackson going on their double date with Allison and Scott tomorrow night? Scott makes his usual puppy face of total confusion, and even Allison looks a little baffled. I think Lydia basically steamrolls over everyone and everything in her path and people just go along with it to survive.

Lydia overrides Jackson and Scott’s mutual grumpy reluctance and coerces everyone into going bowling while Stiles watches in a combination of horror and awe.

bzuh

Relentlessly goaded by Jackson, Scott announces that he is the best bowler in the history of the universe. This, my internets friends, is a shameful lie, and one for which Stiles now mocks Scott with very great enthusiasm.

STILES YOU ARE MY FAVORITE.

As they walk down the hall together, Scott and Stiles witter on with their own random trains of thought: Scott is wallowing in his usual emo flail about how hard his wolfly life is, while Stiles is suddenly struck by the irrational fear that he might not be attractive to gay guys.

Stiles, I ASSURE YOU this is not a valid fear. FOR SERIOUS.

*****

Scott realizes he’s late for work and zooms off on his bike, which is somehow ridiculously adorable. Maybe it’s the goofy helmet.

He arrives at work, which appears to be a veterinarian’s office. LOL. His boss, Dr. Deaton, waves off Scott’s apologies for being late, since it’s only been two minutes. As Scott starts getting ready for his shift, he sees Sheriff Stilinski standing out in the waiting room, and, because he is not the sharpest tool in the shed, Scott immediately assumes the Sheriff has come to haul him off to prison forever for the terrible crime of having had a bad dream.

Sigh.

No, Scott, you immense goon, Sheriff Stilinski is there with an injured police dog. This is a vet’s office, after all. Dr. Deaton lifts the dog up onto the table to get to work, and the Sheriff asks him to have a look at some photos from the crime scene. Dr. Deaton protests that he’s not exactly a forensics expert, but takes a look anyway. The Sheriff wonders aloud if it could have been a wolf, and Scott inserts himself into the conversation in what has got to be the least casual way ever, all huge puppy eyes and nervous puppy twitching.

Dr. Deaton doesn’t really think it’s a wolf, though, since the throat hasn’t been ripped out. He also doesn’t think it’s a mountain lion. And so far, no one thinks it was Scott, except for Scott himself.

*****

After work, Scott stops by the hospital to see his mom and drop off her dinner, with the obvious ulterior motive of borrowing the car for his date tomorrow. Melissa McCall is immune to her son’s tragic puppy eyes and waves him off with a smile. Scott looks tragic and woebegone and I just want to pat his little head and feed him bacon.

As Scott turns to leave the hospital, he gets a weird sort of feeling about one of the rooms in the back, and decides to do some exploring. He ends up in the room of the horribly mangled bus driver, Mr. Myers. Scott, still assuming he was responsible for the man’s injuries, tries to apologize for everything, but only succeeds in somehow scaring the crap out of Mr. Myers. Scott’s mom finds them both in a state of total hysteria and throws her son out angrily. Way to go, Scott. Now your mom thinks you’re a weird creeper.

*****

An unnamed Deputy pulls up to Derek’s burned-out house, looking maybe a little too nervous for some dude licensed to carry a gun, IMHO. He doesn’t see anything particularly interesting and radios back to the dispatcher to ask if he should bother going inside. The dispatcher tells him, rather impatiently, to look inside and see if anyone is home. As the deputy approaches the front porch, the police dog in the back seat of his cruiser starts flipping his goddamn shit. The dog is barking wildly and throwing itself at the window, slobbering in fear/anger/crazyface madness. The deputy starts looking really goddamn nervous, because as far as he can tell, no one’s there.

o hai

Oh Deputy Nameless, how wrong you are. Upstairs, peeking ridiculously through a broken second-story window is Derek Hotass Hale, doing his usual creepy lurking thing. His eyes glow blue a little bit as he stares down the frightened dog. Eventually the dog’s panicked barking and whining are too much for Deputy Nameless to deal with, and he all but runs back to his car and drives away.

As soon as the deputy pulls away, Scott appears from where he’s been hiding in the woods. Unlike the deputy, however, Scott knows that Derek is there, and that Derek can hear him. Scott puts on his most plaintive harmless puppy face and admits that he needs Derek’s help.

Derek meets Scott down on the porch, looking suspiciously clean and well-groomed for a dude living in a burnt-out shell of a house. I go for one day without a shower and I look like Swamp Thing; Derek lives in the forest and looks like a supermodel. This is a grave injustice.

Scott clumsily apologizes for getting Derek arrested and for revealing Derek’s presence to the hunters in the forest, and then whimpers a little about his dream and how he’s worried that he hurt someone. Derek immediately knows Scott is talking about the bus driver, and he’s not exactly full of reassuring news for Scott.

Scott: Could you at least tell me the truth? Am I gonna hurt someone?
Derek: Yes.
Scott: Could I kill someone?
Derek: Yes.
Scott: Am I gonna kill someone?
Derek: Probably.

THANKS DEREK, THAT’S SUPER HELPFUL.

Derek’s grumpy face relents a little bit and he offers to help Scott learn how to remember what he’s doing when he’s wolfed out, and how to control his shifting, even on the full moon, but he’s not going to do all this for nothing. Scott wants to know what Derek wants in return.

At this point I had to pause the playback and roll on the floor gnashing my teeth and rending my garments because DEREK DOES NOT SAY “YOUR MANGINITY, SCOTT” AND IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST UNFAIR THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

oh the humanity

Even better, Derek’s not going to tell Scott what he wants! It shall be a ~*mystery*~ until Derek decides the moment is sexy right. Meanwhile, Derek’s going to give Scott what he asked for. He tells Scott to go back to the bus and use all his magical werewolf senses to see and hear and smell and taste? Ew. Anyway, Scott can figure out what happened if only he just TRIES a little bit. Scott and I both think this advice is kind of silly, but it’s all we’re getting.

*****

That evening, Scott and Stiles pull up to the schoolyard in Stiles’ ratty old jeep. They almost have a girly slapfight over Stiles staying behind to keep watch, because Stiles is tired of Scott being Batman and him being Robin all the time. Scott makes the baffled puppy face.

Stiles sulks off back to the jeep while Scott climbs over the fence and heads for the bloody bus. He closes his eyes and suddenly remembers being asleep in bed the night before and waking up all wolfed out. As Scott examines the bus, he gets another flash of his nightmare about hurting Allison, interspersed with the actual attack on Mr. Myers. Eventually, as he reaches the very back, picturing the bus driver reaching out for his hand and screaming, Scott realizes that there was another werewolf in the bus that night.

Unfortunately, while Scott is having all these interesting revelations, a security guard is approaching the bus with a flashlight. Stiles, the worst lookout ever, honks the horn crazily, because OH YEAH that’s super casual. Scott hears the honking at the same time he sees the flashlight shining into the bus’ windows, and scampers off, jumping the fence like a crazy ninja and throwing himself into the jeep. He and Stiles zoom off into the night.

As they drive away, Scott explains to Stiles what he’s discovered—he knows he was there during the attack the night before, but he saw another werewolf, who he assumes was Derek. Stiles can’t figure out why Derek would agree to help Scott remember that he himself was responsible for the attack, and leaps to the hilarious conclusion that it must have been some kind of pack initiation. But since Scott didn’t do any of the actual killing, then he somehow has nothing more to worry about! Yay!

lol.

*****

Allison is getting ready for her and Scott’s double date with Lydia and Jackson, while Lydia “helps” her pick something to wear. This help is largely in the form of making bitchy prunefaces at every single item of clothing in Allison’s closet, because Lydia is what Regina George wants to be when she grows up.

Lydia finally finds something she deems acceptable and hands it to Allison imperiously. Allison knows better than to argue. Allison’s dad Chris wanders in to remind them that they’re going to have to stay in tonight since there’s a police curfew for everyone under 18, seeing how there’s someone or something in town attacking people. Lydia makes the world’s most hilarious duckface of attempted seduction, and Chris looks at her like he has deep and valid concerns about her sanity.

WERQ IT GURL

As soon as her dad is gone, Allison slips into her nighttime ninja gear—an ugly purple hat—and heads for the window. She’s not going to let some silly murderer keep her from her bowling date! Lydia watches Allison leap off the roof into the bushes, and decides to take the stairs.

*****

Allison is looking over the available bowling balls with an experienced eye, and Scott is nervously impressed. She says she spent a lot of time bowling with her dad in the past, and asks when was the last time Scott went bowling. “At a birthday party,” he derps. “….when I was 8.” Allison, naturally, misses this last sad confession, and skips off in her smelly rented shoes to bowl a perfect strike. Lydia’s pretty terrible, even with Jackson’s help, and for a moment Scott thinks maybe his vast ineptitude will go unnoticed. Man, it’s like he doesn’t even KNOW Jackson.

Jackson watches Scott’s total lack of skill like all his Christmases have come at once. Allison tells him to shut up, but Jackson points out that Scott brought it on himself by claiming to be an awesome bowler. This is 100% true and factual information.

*****

Somewhere across town, Derek pulls into a deserted gas station to fill up his predictably sexy car. As he waits, two SUVs pull up and box him in—it’s Chris Argent and a couple of his hunter buddies. Derek looks disdainfully unconcerned, and Chris smiles at him in a fairly unsettling way.

*****

Back at the bowling alley, Scott is standing at the head of the lane looking wooby and sad. Allison takes pity on his tragic little puppyface and sneaks up behind him to tell him that he’s thinking about it too much. Scott apologizes for ruining her night, and Allison waves this off with a laugh—she just wants to be able to shut Jackson and Lydia up for a while. In order to help Scott not overthink his game, Allison suggests that Scott think of something else—like her, naked.

Naturally, Scott’s massive boner gets him the best strike ever. Jackson and Lydia pout prettily and toss their curls.

*****

Over at the gas station, Chris and his buddies are trying and failing to intimidate Derek. Apparently, in Chris’ book, intimidation is all about cleaning your enemy’s windshield. Derek is wholly unimpressed and breaks out his bitchface.

bitch plz

Chris makes some snarky comments about family and Derek’s sad lack thereof, and Derek twitches a bit like he might punch someone or something. Chris sees that his words have hit home, and turns to leave. Derek calls him back, telling him he forgot to check the oil, because Derek is so awesome omg. Chris instructs one of his thuggish buddies to check the oil, which apparently means “smash the driver’s side window with the stock of a rifle.”

Rude.

Derek and Chris stare each other down a little bit longer, inexplicably not making out passionately as they so clearly want to do, and then Chris and his hunter dudebros drive away. Derek looks vaguely irritated, I guess. It might just be gas.

*****

Back at the bowling alley, Scott is getting strike after strike, and it is apparently impressive enough for Lydia to blatantly hit on Scott right in front of Allison, asking for some “personal help” with her game. Ugh, not cool, Martin. Not cool. Allison manages not to shank her as Scott gracelessly turns Lydia down. Jackson leaps up to help Lydia, but she’s not interested. Poor Jackson, you’re having a bad night.

Lydia duckfaces her way into a strike of her own, further ruining Jackson’s night. Allison points out that Lydia had perfect form, and tells her maybe she should stop pretending to be bad at everything. Ouch.

*****

Later, Jackson is playing the grumpiest game of lonely pinball EVER. Scott comes over in an attempt to make nice and apologize for, idk, his entire existence or something, but Jackson will not be appeased. Poor Puppy Scott just wants everyone to get along! Jackson doesn’t actually hate him, though. He just doesn’t believe that Scott isn’t on steroids or something weirder, and assumes that this is the reason for his sudden skills at both lacrosse and bowling.

Jackson is pretty much the most astute person on this entire show so far, and I am not just saying this because he is my perfect glorious forever girl. Seriously, he knows that something is so obviously up with Scott, and he knows that Scott is the worst liar ever, and, most importantly, he knows that whatever it is that Scott is hiding, Scott definitely wants to keep it a secret from Allison.

DRAMATIC MUSIC!

*****

Derek is lurking in the shadows in Mr. Myers’ hospital room, creepily. He tells the injured man to open his eyes and look at him. Visibly frightened, Mr. Myers obeys, and, recognizing Derek, apologizes for something unknown. And for maybe the first time ever, Derek actually looks freaked out. He wants to know how Mr. Myers even knows who he is. Mr. Myers apologizes again before drifting off into some kind of stupor.

Melissa McCall is getting ready to go home at the end of her shift when she notices a computer alert for Mr. Myers’ room. When she runs inside, he’s already dead.

*****

Scott takes Allison home and they gaze mushily into each other’s eyes, as per usual. Allison requests that they not do any more group dates with Jackson and Allison, and Scott is so very very happy to agree. Lots of making out happens.

Allison, who is clearly pants at this whole “sneaking out” thing, goes right in the front door of her house instead of climbing back into her bedroom window. Meanwhile, her dad is lurking behind the living room curtains and has been spying creepily on her and Scott.

*****

Melissa McCall is getting ready for bed, and pokes her head into Scott’s room to say goodnight. Scott’s not there, and she just shakes her head and walks away. As she’s heading down the hall, she hears a noise in Scott’s dark, empty room behind her, and slips inside quietly to investigate. When she sees someone who is definitely not her son sneaking in through the window, she grabs a baseball bat from beside the door and lunges like a superstar, scaring the total crap out of poor Stiles, who is not very good at being stealthy.

*girly screaming*

Stiles and Melissa yell at each other a bit in their complete and hilarious panic until Scott arrives home a minute later to sort of roll his eyes at their ridiculousness.

Melissa goes off to bed, having had enough of Scott and Stiles’ crap. Stiles isn’t just there to make a social call, though—he’s got news from his dad, over at the hospital, that Mr. Myers has died.

*****

Scott goes running off sweatily into the night to confront Derek over at his crappy house. He’s all worked up because he’s sure that Derek killed Mr. Myers. Scott also accuses Derek of killing his own sister Laura. From his creeping off in the shadows, Derek tells Scott that Mr. Myers died on his own, and that Laura was used as bait to lure him into a trap, but Scott doesn’t believe him. Instead, he threatens to tell everyone the “truth,” starting with the Sheriff.

Derek quite rightfully throws Scott down the stairs.

They both wolf out and have a spectacular brawl with lots of crashing and smashing and people being thrown through walls and whatnot. Unfortunately neither of them seems to see the extremely vital need to take off their goddamn shirts. I hold on to a desperate, fleeting hope that perhaps shirts—maybe even pants!—will be dramatically ripped off during the fight, but all my hopes and dreams are for naught, as both remain stubbornly clothed.

My life is the hardest life.

Eventually they’re both sweaty and exhausted and even more grumpy than when they began. Once they shift back into their human faces, Derek crankily tells Scott that neither one of them was responsible for any of the deaths in town so far. Scott’s still caught up in his flaily emo rage, and whine-yells (I don’t know how he does this but it is very effectively irritating) that Derek is a mean bully who ruined his life, waah!

Actually, Scott, he’s NOT. Derek isn’t the one who even bit you in the first place. SO THERE.

Derek explains that the biter is an Alpha, a werewolf far more powerful than either one of them, as they’re both Betas. Derek’s sister came to Beacon Hills to track down the Alpha, and it got her killed. So now Derek’s trying to find the Alpha, but he needs Scott’s help. Scott just looks at Derek like he’s been using too many big words again.

It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Scott McCall.

The reason Derek needs your help, Scott, you gormless donkey, is because the Alpha is the one who bit you. YOU ARE PART OF HIS PACK, SCOTT.

And Scott is the one the Alpha is looking for now.

*****

Just outside the Hale house, off in the woods, a pair of red eyes glow ominously in the darkness.

Please like & share:
  • Sam

    Stiles is suddenly struck by the irrational fear that he might not be attractive to gay guys.

    well gay guys are not usually attracted to pretty 7th-grade girls?????

    I’m so happy you’re recapping this because it’s clearing out my sinuses with all the snorting.

    • Liz

      STILES IS A DELIGHT TO BEHOLD AT ALL TIMES

  • Chris

    LYDIA MARTIN WILL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD. Perhaps from her orbiting laser platform, because boys are silly and are only impressed if you can hold their major metropolitan areas hostage (LOPL- Lydia’s Orbiting Platform with Lasers). :) Allison will be her Red Right Hand.

    Stiles, you probably need to ask someone other than Jackson’s best friend the attractive question. FIND THE RIGHT PERSON AND THE ANSWER WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU.

    There was a notable lack of shirtless men in this episode. Why hook us and then not deliver, MTV?!

    • Liz

      LYDIA IS GLORIOUS AND PERFECT

      ALL GLORY TO THE DUCKFACE