Teen Wolf – 1.08 – Lunatic

Stiles and a pretty grumpy and reluctant Scott are heading out into some local campgrounds to get nice and drunk, because that’s what you do when your beloved girlfriend dumps you in the high school parking lot—get hammered with your BFF! Half a bottle down and Stiles is flopping around hilariously, but poor Scott’s wolfly powers are keeping him awfully sober. Stiles is my new favorite drunk, as he is both adorable and delightful.

everything about you is a delight, stiles

Stiles witters on a bit about his undying love for Lydia, insisting that as bad as it is to be dumped, being alone is way worse. Scott doesn’t get a chance to acknowledge the sad wisdom of Stiles’ claims, because two thuggish dudes show up and snatch their bottle of Jack. Well. Scott McCall is not going to stand for these thieving shenanigans. He coldly tells them to give the bottle back, and they laugh derisively at his tiny, adorable, puppylike rage. Bad move, thug dudes.

Scott gets all up in the first guy’s face, letting his eyes flash over to yellow as his claws start sprouting. BottleSnatcher’s eyes go all wide and nervous, and he hands the bottle over without another word. Scott grabs it from him and throws it across the clearing to smash against a tree. Presumably they then flee in abject terror.

Scott storms out of the campsite with Stiles close behind him. Stiles is definitely more freaked out by Scott’s loss of control than he is about being bullied by random guys in the middle of the night, and he’s wondering if Scott and Allison’s breakup is to blame… or if it’s the upcoming full moon instead. Scott just twitches at Stiles angrily and looks rather like a meth-riddled tweaker.

*****

The two bottle-snatching bullies are busy hurrying off in the opposite direction; the smaller bully is cold and nervous and just wants to go home, but his larger friend is determined to have some goddamn fun no matter what the cost. He lights up the joint he had stashed behind his ear and is in the middle of a large toke when he’s snatched away into the darkness. Smaller bully dude is at one with terror and makes to scamper off into the night, but a hideous clawed Alpha hand snatches at his ankles and drags him away screaming. He ends up stuffed headfirst into a nearby trashcan fire.

DRAMATIC SHOT OF THE ALMOST-FULL MOON!

*****

Scott wakes up the next morning to the news reports that the high school has been reopened after two days of being closed due to horrible murders; naturally the police are still looking for Derek, since Scott the Lying Liarpants pinned everything on him.

Scott’s mom shuts off the radio and tries to drag her reluctant puppy out of bed, and sidles into starting a conversation with Scott about his bad breakup. Scott is an unmitigated douchebag to his mom, telling her that he doesn’t want to hear about her stupid breakups, because he’s going to get Allison back anyway.

*****

Chris and Kate Argent pull up to the high school with Allison in the backseat. Allison goes to open the door, but the kiddie locks are still engaged. Chris looks around the high school assessingly, not quite ready to let Allison out, and asks Kate what her thoughts are on homeschooling. Kate somehow manages not to laugh in his face. Allison then asks her what she thinks of overprotective dads who ruin their daughter’s lives, and Kate just gives Chris a huge, delighted smile as she leans over to unlock the doors for Allison. HA.

HELLO LADIES

As soon as Allison’s gone, Kate turns to Chris with a hint of lectures to come on her face. Chris stops her before she can rip into him, admitting that she was right all along: that he underestimated the Alpha, that they should’ve acted sooner, and that he should’ve listened to Kate from the beginning. Sorry Chris, but Kate just wanted to remind you to get gas on the way home.

Snerk.

I WANT TO KISS HER FACE WITH MY FACE. FOREVER.

*****

Allison and Lydia are leaving their class and discussing the events of the other night; they’re both glad that their names haven’t been released by the police, so no one knows they were involved. Allison has other things on her mind, though – she’s wondering if maybe she made a mistake in breaking up with Scott. Lydia’s logic on this is pretty sound, pointing out that as far as they know, Scott apparently locked them in a classroom and left them for dead, and therefore Allison owes him nothing.

*****

Stiles is sitting on the floor outside the principal’s office, waiting for his dad and a deputy to finish their meeting. He wants to know if the police have found Derek yet, but the Sheriff tells him that they haven’t had any luck yet. Stiles gets super twitchy and nervous, and tries to carefully explain to his dad how they have to be really careful around Derek, especially tonight. The Sheriff thinks it’s just normal everyday fears about mass murderers, though, and Stiles looks really frustrated at his inability to shout WEREWOLVES OKAY IT’S WEREWOLVES. Sheriff Stilinski tries to get Stiles to chill out a little, saying that he’s taking the situation very seriously and has called in some state detectives. Stiles doesn’t look the least bit relieved, and sulks off to take his test.

*****

Scott walks into his next class and makes the saddest puppy face ever when he sees Allison. He stops in front of her desk to try and talk to her, but Mr Cockblock Harris sends him to his seat over by Stiles. It’s test-taking time, not sobbing over your ex-girlfriend time, Scott.

Unfortunately, Scott can’t really concentrate on his test at all, and it’s not just Allison that’s causing it. Every single tiny sound and movement in the classroom is proving to be an unbearable distraction to him: erasers, clicking pens, the ticking clock. Next, Scott starts hallucinating some tragic and mocking test questions in his bluebook, taunting him about his breakup with Allison. Honestly, I can understand his confusion here, because Mr Jerkface Harris totally seems like the kind of guy who WOULD put something like that in his test for the lulz.

As his heart rate increases, his next hallucinations taunt him with his fears that he’ll kill all his friends tonight at the full moon. This, combined with all the little annoyances surrounding him, is finally too much for Scott, and he throws down his pencil, grabs his backpack, and runs out of the room. Stiles blinks in confusion for a moment and then runs after Scott, but he’s already gone. Scott’s backpack is abandoned in the middle of the hallway, though.

Stiles gets his phone out to call Scott, and hears Scott’s ringtone fairly close by in the locker room. Since the locker room has been the scene of more than a few unpleasant situations recently, Stiles approaches with caution. He finds Scott shirtless and smooshed miserably up against the wall under a running shower. He meebles a bit about how he can’t breathe, and Stiles throws him his own asthma inhaler. Stiles is pretty sure that Scott was actually having a panic attack and not an asthma attack, since he had them all the time after his mom died.

Scott says he can’t handle being around Allison at all, and Stiles pointing out that there were bound to be problems anyway – since Scott is a werewolf and Allison’s dad is a werewolf hunter, obvsly – is not really helpful. But it’s not just the breakup, it’s got to be the full moon as well, because Scott feels overwhelmed not only by his own emotions but everyone else’s too. Stiles promises that he’ll stick to their plan of locking Scott up in his room for the evening, but Scott doesn’t think that’s going to be good enough anymore. He’s pretty sure that if he gets out tonight, he’s going to kill someone.

rarrrgh

*****

Chris is in his crazy gun-filled hunter study looking over some maps as Kate loads an impressively scary looking rifle. Accompanying them are some random kid and one of the alleged “state detectives” seen earlier with the Sheriff. Hm.

Kate’s pretty sure they’re going to be wasting their time wandering around in the woods for yet another night, but Chris is determined to keep innocent people from getting killed, including his own daughter. Fake Detective dude promises to keep an eye on her, and Chris says it doesn’t really matter, since an Alpha on the full moon has no specific focus – it’ll be too strongly influenced by the full moon. Kate suspects that the Alpha will have a reason to stay focused, although she’s not sure what it would be.

Chris is pretty sure that Derek won’t be a problem that evening, since the police are still out looking for him in force. Kate agrees that Derek’s too smart to be wandering around outside that night. Overhearing the end of the conversation as she walks in the door, Victoria tells them icily that if they see Derek, they’d better kill his sorry ass and cut him in half. She then offers everyone cookies, because psychotic genocidal murderer impulses aside, Victoria Argent is always an excellent hostess.

*****

Allison’s sitting in the school cafeteria eating one of those very cookies when Jackson comes to sit down next to her. She’s got a little bit of chocolate on her lip, and after a bit of awkward back and forth, Jackson just reaches over and wipes it off her mouth. And then, because Jackson is a glorious creeper, he licks it off his finger.

hey baby how you doin

Allison finds this hilarious and not at all creepy. Allison asks him if he wants a bite of the cookie, but instead, Jackson hears “do you want the bite?” and double takes really goofily. When Allison repeats herself, Jackson rubs nervously at the back of his neck and looks a little gormless. Aww.

Allison asks him if he’s doing okay since the other night, and Jackson says he’s fine, cleverly turning the conversation back to Allison and Scott’s breakup instead. She’s still wondering if she made a mistake in breaking up with Scott at all, and Jackson is definitely the wrong person to be asking. In fact, Jackson thinks Scott got exactly what he deserved.

Meanwhile, Scott is sitting alone outside the lunchroom, overhearing the entire conversation with his superwolf hearing. He’s also banging his head against the wall harder and harder until the wall finally cracks. OH MY PRECIOUS LITTLE PUPPY.

*****

Later that afternoon, in the locker room, Coach Finstock announces to the lacrosse team that due to a recent pinkeye epidemic (thanks, Greenberg!), certain changes have been made to the line up, and some people have been added to the first line on a probationary basis – and one of these people is Stiles. YAY STILES. Finstock seems to think his name is Bolinski, apparently. Incorrect name or not, Stiles is wildly, hilariously stoked. Jackson and Danny just roll their eyes so hard they almost fall right out of their heads.

*\o/*

Finstock has another announcement for the team: Jackson now has a new co-captain, and it’s Scott. Scott doesn’t look like he cares in the least, but oh man, Jackson is super goddamn pissed. Jackson’s crony, Brian, has all kinds of schemes in mind to screw with Scott, but Danny doesn’t want any part of it. He thinks Scott is a good player, and who even cares who’s captain of the lacrosse team anyway, as long as they win? Oh Danny, you and your logic and friendliness and pleasant behavior have no place here in Jacksonland. Danny tells him to let it go already, and Jackson Blue Steels at him angrily.

Out in the hallway, Stiles is still bouncing with glee over his new position on the team. Scott is even less thrilled than before, because he could smell how angry and jealous everyone else on the team was when his co-captaincy was announced. Stiles immediately needs more information on this whole “smelling emotions” thing; specifically, can Scott smell other things like, um. Desire? Lust? Passion? Arrrrousal? I wonder if this has anything to do with Lydia.

Scott is such a good friend that he doesn’t even crack up helplessly as he clearly longs to do, even after Stiles admits that yes, of course he is talking about the glorious Lydia, since he’s been obsessing over her since third grade, ffs. Scott tells him to just ask her out already, but Stiles would rather avoid the horrible humiliation of it all. Scott reluctantly agrees to ask Lydia what she thinks of Stiles while sniffing her unobtrusively, and oh god I can’t even.

Scott walks up to Lydia with a really put-upon look on his face and asks her if they can talk for a second. Lydia actually doesn’t blow him off, thinking that he wants to talk about what happened the other night. Scott is really nervous and basically just his usual gormless self, but instead of asking Lydia about Stiles, he asks her if Allison still likes him. Lydia rolls her eyes at him a little, because of COURSE Allison still likes him. She’ll always like him, but just as friends. “Just … friends?” Scott makes the most tragic little puppy face ever.

Scott’s trying really hard not to freak out and maybe slaughter Lydia in his Allisonless rage, so he’s not paying a lot of attention when she tells him that she thinks Allison made a big mistake in breaking up with him. In fact, Lydia thinks that Allison was totally wrong about Scott’s actions the other night – she thinks that Scott locked them in that classroom to protect them, not abandon them, and she thinks Allison should be grateful. Oh Lydia. Didn’t you just tell Allison that Scott locked them in that classroom and left them for dead? Scott asks Lydia if she’s grateful, and oh man, apparently she is, because suddenly they’re making out and everything is bad and nothing is good.

SCOTT YOU BASTARD.

Out on the field, Stiles pounces on Scott to find out what Lydia said about him, and man, Scott is the WORST. He tells Stiles that Lydia is totally into him, and Stiles wallows delightedly in bliss.

*****

Scott’s a little distracted during practice. As the team lines up to take shots at the goal, he ends up thrown on his ass by a couple of Jackson’s cronies. Finstock finds the rivalry hilarious; Scott, not so much. Stiles gets ready for his run at the goal, but Scott shoves him back with his lacrosse stick and has another go. This time, he’s not holding anything back. Bare moments away from wolfing out, he crashes through the defense like a drunk moose, trampling everyone in his path. He scores his goal easily, but no one’s paying attention – they’re more concerned with the half-conscious, battered, and totally confused Danny that Scott’s left in his wake.

Scott stands off to the side, trying to regain control, and Stiles gives him the WTF DUDE face of WTF-ness. Everyone loves Danny, you idiot, and now everyone is going to hate you for breaking him! Scott does not give a crap in the least, and says so loudly and angrily.

Lydia runs over to Jackson to see if Danny’s okay – it looks like he’s just got a bloody nose. Unfortunately, everything is somewhat less okay with Lydia, since Jackson notices how her usually perfect lipstick is smeared from making out with Scott. Stiles, having overheard this entire conversation, makes the correct deduction and realizes that his BFF has just made out with the girl he’s been in love with since third grade, and then lied to him about it.

OH GOD STILES’ TRAGIC FACE OF BETRAYAL. I CANNOT.

*****

Over at the Argent’s house, Kate is giving Allison a highly amusing lesson in taser use. Kate makes her promise not to tell Chris, and Allison takes aim at the innocent fluffy chest of Mr Bear, her ridiculously named teddy bear. She hits dead center, and Kate is ecstatic and ready for high fives all around, telling Allison that if she’d had the taser the other night, things would’ve ended a lot differently. Allison looks a little nauseated by the entire situation, though. She’s still really upset about the whole Scott situation, and Kate’s ready to dispense some generic “other fish in the sea” post-breakup advice. And then Allison mentions Derek Hale.

Kate is suddenly about 10,000 times more interested, asking how Scott knows Derek in the first place, and if they’re friends. Allison seems a little unnerved by Kate’s intensity, and withdraws a little, but Kate insists that Allison tell her every last thing that Scott said about Derek.

my precioussss

*****

That evening, Stiles lets himself into a house that is apparently not his, since Melissa McCall appears from the living room, calling Scott’s name. She is a little surprised to see Stiles, and a lot surprised to realize that he apparently has his own key to the house. Stiles throws down his gym bag full of chains, and it rattles kind of ominously. Melissa stares back and forth between Stiles and the bag for a moment, and seems glad to accept his lame excuse that it’s for a school project. Somehow I get the feeling that she is really, really used to this kind of thing.

Melissa gets a bit serious and asks Stiles if Scott is doing okay, no doubt remembering what an epic douchebag he was earlier that day. Stiles, the worst liar ever, insists that Scott is doing great, and Melissa looks like she’s struggling to believe it. As she heads out the door, she jokingly reminds Stiles to be careful because it’s a full moon that evening, and of course he panics, assuming that she’s somehow onto the ridiculous details of their ridiculous lives. Nope, she’s just commenting on how the ER always seems a little more chaotic on the full moon, hence the origins of the term “lunatic”.

*****

Upstairs, Stiles barrels into Scott’s room to get things set up for the full moon. When he turns on the lights, Scott is already there, lurking like a weird creeper. Stiles flails as per usual and then gets down to business, opening his bag to take out the chains. But Scott creepily insists that he’s fine and doesn’t need to be chained up after all. Scott, sweetie, you are not the least bit convincing as “fine,” unless “fine” somehow means “has the look of a crazed serial killer on his little puppy face” now. Stiles is super freaked out by crazyface Scott’s crazy damn face, but still gamely tries to get Scott to at least LOOK in the bag and see if he thinks anything will help.

Scott slowly and creepily gets up from his chair and looms over Stiles, reaching into the bag to grab the chains. He’s seething now with crazyface rage at the thought of being chained up like a dog, and looks like he’s about to spring on Stiles and play with his entrails a little bit. Stiles, however, has other plans. HA.

Stiles throws the chains aside, and, as Scott flops around in confusion, Stiles handcuffs him to the radiator. Stiles, did you steal your dad’s handcuffs? Omg. Scott is totally outraged and struggles wildly, but stops short when Stiles tells him that this is payback for making out with Lydia.

OH SNAP SON.

*****

Allison’s wandering through a sporting goods store, checking out a new sight for her crossbow, when she runs into Jackson. He’s there picking up a new helmet for Danny, since Scott trashed his old one that afternoon in practice. Jackson asks if maybe she needs someone to talk to, not because it’s super obvious, but because he’s feeling the same way lately.

*****

Stiles comes back into Scott’s room with a few provisions for the evening – a bottle of water, and a plastic doggy dish that he’s written Scott’s name on, because Stiles is delightful in all ways and at all times. Scott does not share my opinion on this, flinging the bowl at Stiles’ back as he walks away. And right there, Stiles has had enough of Scott’s crap. He yells at him for being a shitty awful friend and making out with the only girl Stiles has ever cared about, saying that he hopes it’s just the full moon and that Scott won’t even remember it the next day. Scott decides to make things worse by telling Stiles that Lydia actually made the first move, and that she wanted a lot more. Stiles walks out of Scott’s bedroom and sits down on the hallway floor, miserably.

*****

Jackson and Allison are sitting in a really ugly car in an empty parking lot, talking. Allison makes Jackson promise not to laugh, and he tells her he would never laugh at her. She says she thinks it wasn’t Derek that night at the school, and Jackson agrees with her. Allison looks a little surprised, but pleased.

*****

Scott’s still struggling with the handcuffs, and is begging Stiles to let him loose. He blames all his recent douchebaggery on the full moon, insisting that he’d never do anything to Stiles on purpose. When this obvious ploy doesn’t work, Scott tries telling Stiles that it hurts more than it did when he turned the last time, saying that it’s also dealing with Allison breaking up with him, and feeling totally hopeless and miserable. Stiles stays strong and refuses to let Scott out. The moon breaks out from behind the clouds, and Scott starts turning. There’s an awful lot of agonized screaming.

*****

Jackson asks Allison if there’s anything else she wants to talk about – there is, but she’s hesitant to say anything. Jackson tells her that just because she can’t trust Scott doesn’t mean that she can’t trust anyone else either. Allison’s upset by how many people have been lying to her recently, though, including her dad. Allison is sure that Chris knows more about what happened that night at the school then he’s admitting, and it’s creeping her out.

*****

Scott is roaring and thrashing around angrily, and Stiles is doing his best not to let it get to him. Even though he’s really angry with Scott, it still upsets him to hear his best friend in pain. SOB. There’s one last loud thud and then suddenly everything is really quiet. That’s certainly not good.

Stiles goes into Scott’s room to check on him, but the handcuffs are broken and Scott is long gone. Stiles runs after him.

*****

Scott is crashing through the woods like a madman, wolfed out and totally enraged.

*****

Jackson’s telling Allison how he saw what he thought was Derek that night at the school, but says he only saw a huge shadowy shape.

Meanwhile, Scott is crouched on top of a nearby car, waiting to pounce.

Jackson explains that whoever it was he saw that night, or WHATever it was, got down on all fours like a weird animal and walked away.

Scott’s watching them from across the parking lot, and his wolfy full moon crazitude is making him hallucinate that Allison and Jackson are lustfully making out in the parked car instead of just talking (mostly) innocently.

Allison asks Jackson why he’s so sure it wasn’t an animal, and Jackson says that whatever it was, it was originally standing up like a person. Allison thinks this is kind of a crappy explanation, and is about to demand more details, when Scott leaps onto the top of their car and rakes the roof open with his claws.

Before Scott can rip open the car like a can of sardines and devour everyone inside, he’s thrown across the parking lot by someone stronger and faster than him. Of course it’s Derek, because MTV would never really kill off a hotass like that. COME ON.

Derek flings Scott into the woods bordering the parking lot, and Scott rolls down a hill, totally confused but ready to brawl. Derek overpowers him almost embarrassingly easy, again and again and again, but Scott refuses to learn his lesson and just keeps on attacking.

Eventually Scott realizes he can’t win, and stays down on the ground. Derek walks over to him slowly, dewolfing himself on the way like it ain’t no thang. Scott tries to shift back, but he can’t, and he asks Derek what’s happening to him. Derek tells Scott that this is exactly what the Alpha wants to happen.

*****

Stiles is driving around and looking for Scott by the campgrounds when he pulls up alongside the scene of an accident. The police are already there with a couple of deputies and an ambulance, but Stiles’ dad is nowhere in sight. Stiles leaps out of his car and runs over, demanding to know where his dad is. He sees that the body on the stretcher is really grotendously badly burned, and stares all wide-eyed at the charred arm til his dad comes up behind him, asking what he’s doing there. Stiles just throws himself at Sheriff Stilinski and hugs him for ages. STILINSKI FAMILY FEELINGS TAKE ME AWAY.

stiles totally gives the best hugs in beacon hills

On the other side of the road, Chris and Kate pull up in their SUV and check out the scene. Chris asks if that’s Stiles, and Kate confirms that he’s friends with Allison and Scott. Chris wants details about the conversation that Kate had with Allison, but Kate wants some information from him first – the night Chris found the two beta werewolves, he’d said that one was smaller than the other, right? Was he maybe younger as well?

Kate and Chris watch Stiles and ponder horrible things.

*****

Derek helps a now-dewolfened Scott back to his house and upstairs to his bedroom. Derek looks at Scott rather facepalmingly and turns to leave, but Scott calls him back. He can’t do this alone anymore, and he asks Derek to tell him the truth – is there a cure for his wolfy problem? Derek hesitates for a moment and then admits that he’s heard of rumours that there might be a way – Scott will have to kill the one that bit him. Yeah, Scott, the big bad Alpha. Scott’s horrified little puppy face would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.

ohnoes puppy

There is one tiny light at the end of Scott’s tunnel of sadness, though – Derek promises that if Scott helps him find the Alpha, then Derek will help Scott kill the Alpha. Scott doesn’t look terribly relieved by this promise. Not at all.

*****

Out in the woods overlooking the town, the CGI RidicuWolf Alpha stands up on a ledge on its hind legs and shifts back to its human form, just out of our line of sight. NGL it looks like he might have a pretty nice ass. I AM JUST SAYING.

*****

Jackson drives home in his beat-up ugly car-van-thing. He examines the claw marks on the roof left by Scott and notices something stuck in the metal – it’s a broken-off wolf claw. Jackson pries it out of the metal and stares at it thoughtfully.

Inside his house, Jackson takes out the ruined lacrosse glove he found on the field a few weeks back and slips it onto his hand. And then, in the least scientific experiment ever, he pokes the broken nail into the torn finger of the glove, presumably “proving” to himself that the nail is the same nail that originally tore the glove open.

lol.

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  • Chris

    STILINSKIS ARE LOVE.

    Wait, I thought Alpha-inflicted wounds were supposed to stick? HOW IS DEREK STILL ALIVE?! THERE WAS INTERNAL BLEEDING! *recalls gif set, handwaves show logic*

    Ok, all good! :)

    • Liz

      This whole show is just one glorious shirtless handwave after another. COME ON HOW CAN HE NOT SMELL THAT THE ALPHA IS A FAMILY MEMBER.