Teen Wolf – 1.09 – Wolf’s Bane

Mr Harris is alone in his classroom, tidying up before going home for the evening. As he’s about to leave, he picks up a crumpled note off his desk – it’s a list of other people with the surname Harris, and each one of them is crossed off except for him. Mr Harris stuffs the note into his coat pocket nervously.

Behind him, a hideous claw-handed creature clenches its hideous clawed fist and growls menacingly – the Alpha! YES EAT HIM ALPHA EAT HIM. Mr Harris hears the growl, shivers a little, and without even turning around, begs it not to kill him.

THE CLAW CHOOSES WHO WILL LIVE AND WHO WILL DIE!

The Alpha asks Mr Harris if he knows who wrote the list, and Mr Harris does indeed – it was Laura Hale. The Alpha then asks if he knows why Laura was looking for him; when Mr Harris shakes his head no, the Alpha tells him “I KNOW WHY MUAHAHAHA” and tries to get him to turn around. Mr Harris is not going to look at your hideous visage, dude. Sorry. The Alpha gets more and more terrifyingly insistent that Mr Harris turn around and “look at what you’ve done!” Hm.

Mr Harris quivers in terror and braces himself for horrible death. Instead, Derek comes crashing into the room and throws Mr Harris to the floor protectively. When they look up, the Alpha has already run out of the room. At the very next moment, the school parking lot is full of lights and cars and sirens: the police have finally caught up with Derek.

*****

Derek is running through a crappy part of town with the police cars in pursuit; Sheriff Stilinski is in the lead car. From the opposite direction, Chris Argent pulls up and blocks Derek’s path, so he runs down a side street. Chris calls Kate, following in her own car, to cut Derek off at the next intersection, but Kate is totally confused by this turn of events – if Derek is fleeing the cops on foot, then who is driving the car she’s chasing?

LOL IRL it is Scott and Stiles.

As Kate gets closer, Scott floors the accelerator and zooms away. Kate follows in her unbearably ugly van-thing.

*****

The police have decided, ridiculously, to continue their pursuit on foot. They’ve even got a couple of police dogs with them, and once they let the dogs off the leash, they barrel after Derek. He just turns around and wolfsnarls at them, and they run away whining submissively. Aww, puppies. The police have absolutely no idea what to make of this.

*****

Back on the road, Kate is still chasing Scott and Stiles in Derek’s car. Man, she looks pissed. Suddenly, Kate turns off the road behind them and seems to disappear. Stiles turns on his stolen police radio and hears that Derek has run into the local ironworks.

*****

Inside, it looks like Chris has been doing some radio eavesdropping of his own, since he’s already in place up on a catwalk to take an explosive shot at Derek. Derek ducks behind a truck and paws at his eyes, and Chris loads up another bolt into his crossbow. Luckily, that’s when Scott and Stiles finally pull up, and Derek dives into the car.

Apparently Derek hasn’t been doing a very good job of laying low. Derek doesn’t want to hear any lectures from Scott, since he was this close to actually getting the Alpha for the first time ever. If only the police hadn’t shown up and ruined everything. Stiles huffily tells Derek that the police were just doing their jobs, and Derek makes an extremely constipated face at him. Maybe if someone’s stupid lies hadn’t made Derek the most wanted fugitive in the entire state, they wouldn’t be having this problem.

derek hale is judging you

He’s got a point there, Scott. I am just saying.

Scott apologizes for what is surely the hundredth time, and Stiles asks how Derek was able to find the Alpha. Derek scoffs at them both and sulks bitterly, not wanting to trust them any farther than he has to.

He relents a little and explains that the last time he spoke to Laura, she’d said she was close to figuring something out. The first piece of information she had was about some guy named Harris. Stiles realizes immediately that Derek’s talking about his jerkface chemistry teacher. The second bit of info that Laura had was a familiar symbol that Derek’s got drawn on a scrap of paper. Stiles doesn’t recognize it, but Scott sure does. Derek sees Scott’s reaction and asks him what he knows about the symbol. Scott admits that he’s seen it before – it’s Allison’s necklace.

*****

In school the next day, Scott and Stiles are trying to figure out how to examine Allison’s necklace. Scott can’t think of any non-bizarro way to open this conversation with his ex-girlfriend, wondering if maybe she only takes it off to shower. Great, now Scott can only think of Allison in the shower. Stiles gives him a slap upside the head and tells him to focus – once they have the Alpha, Scott can get cured of his wolfyness and win Allison back.

*****

Jackson’s lying face down on an exam table as a doctor cleans out the wound on the back of his neck. The doctor (hilariously named Dr Fenris) asks where Jackson got the scratches, and if he’s had any trouble sleeping lately. Jackson is a little weirded out by this line of questioning, but admits that he’s been having some issues with dreams. Nightmares, actually – about fire. It’s a house burning down, and there’s a lot of screaming, and what does this have to do with anything anyway? Dr Fenris says it’s probably nothing, and gets out a creepy looking clampy probe instrument to poke at Jackson’s neck a bit more ominously.

Jackson’s getting noticeably more nervous now, and demands to know what Dr Fenris is doing – wasn’t he just going to take a quick look? Instead, Dr Fenris grabs some hilarrible medieval torture devices and tells Jackson that he’s “going to have to dig a little deeper”. GROSS.

Jackson is rather displeased by this unpleasant turn of events.

jackson does not like being probed

Dr Fenris tells him to hold still, and starts poking at the back of his neck with the most ridiculous device I have ever seen in my life. There seems to be something just below the skin that Dr Fenris is determined to pry out. Jackson’s yelling in pain and telling him to stop, but Dr Fenris carries on nevertheless. Doctors, man.

In a wholly unnecessarily graphic and grotendous scene, Dr Fenris starts yanking a bloody wolfsbane plant, fully rooted, out of the back of Jackson’s neck. Purple-blue petals and flesh chunks and blood are splattering everywhere, and when Jackson turns around to look, Dr Fenris has turned into Derek. Derek tells Jackson to hold still and of course, Jackson wakes up from his nightmare.

The doctor, who is no longer Dr Fenris, tells Jackson to put his shirt back on, and that the scratches are nothing to worry about. He’s going to prescribe an antibiotic just in case, though. Also, he asks if Jackson’s been eating any strange herbs lately, because he has aconite poisoning. Jackson’s never even heard of aconite, but when the doctor explains that it’s a purple flower, he knows right away that it’s wolfsbane.

*****

Outside, in the waiting room, Jackson smarms over to Melissa McCall and tries to convince her to let him look something up on her computer. She recognizes him as one of Scott’s friends, and lets Jackson use the computer. Melissa, I am pretty sure that is a HIPAA violation. Shame on you.

Using the most hilariously nonexistent browser ever (inquiry-it!), Jackson looks up wolfsbane. Whatever he finds makes him look creepily excited. He leaves the hospital without another word to anyone. Melissa gets up to see what he was looking for, but the browser window is closed. And everyone knows that parents (and of course medical professionals as well) have no idea how to check browser histories, right?

*****

Back at school, Jackson storms up to Scott and tells him that he knows what Scott is. Scott pretends that he has no idea what Jackson is talking about, but come on, Scott McCall is one of the worst liars ever in a town full of terrible liars. Jackson knows that Scott knows that Jackson knows the truth, and furthermore, Jackson wants it, and he wants it ASAP. However it needs to happen – a bite, a scratch, whatever – Scott is going to take care of it for Jackson, or Jackson is going to tell Allison all about it.

*****

Scott runs to Stiles, totally hysterical. They can’t figure out how Jackson discovered Scott’s secret, but Stiles isn’t ready to fully panic yet. After all, Jackson probably doesn’t have any actual concrete proof, and it’s not like anyone is going to believe him anyway. Yeah, except for Allison’s dad. Scott’s not sure if Jackson even knows about Allison’s dad, though.

Luckily (or potentially unluckily) Stiles has a plan, and it involves finding Derek. Meanwhile, Scott needs to decide how he’s going to get the necklace from Allison. And they both have to get ready for the lacrosse game that night, since it’s the first one where Stiles will be playing first line. HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA!

*****

Scott walks into class and sees that there’s still a seat next to Allison. Just as he’s about to sit down, Lydia swoops in and steals it right out from under him, and he’s forced to take a seat one row back instead. Scott leans forward and quietly says hi to Allison, and tells her that he has some old photos in his phone that he wants to send to her. Allison agrees sort of unhappily, and Scott sends her some pictures of them being all couple-y and romantic and happy.

Allison takes a quick scroll through the pictures and runs out of the classroom, totally upset. Scott follows right behind her. In the hallway, Allison’s barely holding back the tears, and she asks Scott why he sent her those pictures. Is he trying to make her feel bad for breaking up with him?

Poor puppy Scott is hurt and confused by these accusations. He just thought the pictures would remind her of being happy together with him! Oh Scott. You silly baked puppy potato. Your plan has backfired horrendously, because now Allison’s incredibly upset. She tells him not to talk to her anymore, because she needs more time to get to just being friends with him.

*****

At lunch, Stiles asks Scott if he got the necklace, and Scott is grumpily forced to admit that not only did he not get the necklace, but that he is very unlikely to get it in the future, since Allison doesn’t want him around her at ALL.

Fortunately, Stiles has a backup plan – they’re going to just have to steal it from Allison. Scott wants to try talking to Mr Harris, but the police have him in protective custody. Stealing the necklace is their only option.

From across the lunchroom, Jackson is staring at them really hilariously creepily. Jackson takes a huge dramatic bite out of an apple and watches with very great interest as Scott flinches at the noise. Jackson then starts talking to Scott quietly from across the room, knowing that Scott will be able to hear him.

Neither Stiles nor Scott are the least bit capable of playing it cool. How has no one else figured this woffly secret out? While they flail around trying to look casual, Jackson gets up from the table and disappears from their sight, while still talking to Scott. That is some Hale-level creeping right there. Well done.

Jackson tells Scott that he knew all along that Scott could never be that good at lacrosse, and that this technically means that Scott is a sad cheater. He continues to obnoxiously wind Scott up, taunting him with promises to ruin his future chances with Allison, and Scott is barely hanging on. Eventually he snaps his lunch tray, and everyone in the lunchroom stops to stare at him super dramatically. Jackson just smiles and eats his apple evilly.

*****

Jackson and Allison are swimming laps together in the school’s pool and giggling together adorably. Scott, the least casual and stealthy person ever, ambles up to Allison’s school bag set on the side of the bleachers, and starts rooting through it looking for the necklace. It’s not there, and it’s not on Allison’s neck, either. Hm.

Jackson asks Allison if she’s coming to the lacrosse game that evening, but Allison’s not sure if she wants to go. In the next stage of his evil plan, Jackson tells Allison that Scott asked if she was coming to the game, and that he hoped she wouldn’t feel weird about it. Scott, naturally, overhears the entire conversation and is sadly confused about Jackson’s motivations.

His motivations are evil, Scott. EEEEEVIL.

*****

Lydia struts up to Jackson in the hallway and tells him that his last text message was a crappy joke, but Jackson wasn’t actually joking. No, he meant to dump her via text message.

Oh shit.

Jackson smugly explains to her that in preparation for some “big changes,” he’s decided to get rid of some dead weight in his life. And the deadest weight of all right now is Lydia. Lydia tries to turn it back around and laugh in his face, saying that it’s not too big a deal to be dumped by the co-captain of the lacrosse team, but this has almost none of the desired effect on Jackson. He just looks at her like he sees right through her sad ploy, and blows her a sarcastic kiss before walking away.

*****

Stiles gets home from school and heads directly for his computer to do some research. Our friendly neighborhood hotass creeper, Derek, is lurking behind his bedroom door.

creepin in the corner

Sheriff Stilinski calls to Stiles from the hallway, and as Stiles turns to respond, he sees Derek looming in the corner. Stiles throws himself into the hallway before his dad can come in and see Beacon Hills’ Most Wanted. The Sheriff just wants to tell Stiles that he’s got some things to take care of this afternoon, but he’ll absolutely be in the stands for Stiles’ first game that evening. Stiles tries to be pleased despite his growing panic that his dad will somehow sense Derek lurking criminally behind the closed door of his bedroom; he’s desperately relieved when the Sheriff finally heads down the stairs.

Back inside the bedroom, Derek throws Stiles up against the door for some general looming and ominous threatening, but Stiles isn’t about to be pushed around in his own house, especially not by the alleged fugitive he’s harboring.

So then they just. Um. Well. They stare at each other’s mouths for a while, I shit you not. I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN THIS OKAY.

…and then they make out forever

brb shrieking into my fists

Derek is not happy to hear that Scott hasn’t been able to get the necklace from Allison, so Stiles explains that he has yet another trick up his sleeve. The night at the school, Allison received a text message supposedly from Scott, telling her to meet him at the school. Since the message wasn’t actually from Scott, they should probably find out who really sent it, right? Stiles can’t do this himself, but he knows exactly who can help them.

*****

Scott’s busy breaking into the Argent’s house like a huge derpface. I’m actually pretty surprised that he’s looking around Allison’s room for the necklace and not just sniffing her pillows while cuddling them and weeping a little.

*****

Stiles’ plan seems to involve coercing Danny into tracing the text message for them. Danny’s confused, as he thought he was coming over to work on chem lab homework together. And besides, what makes Stiles think Danny has the skills to do that kind of thing? Oh, well. You know. Stiles may have read Danny’s arrest report from when he was 13. Danny is outraged and huffily insists on doing homework instead.

On the opposite side of the bedroom, Derek is sitting in a chair and angrily reading some massive textbook. Danny asks Stiles who he is, and Stiles decides to tell Danny that Derek is his cousin Miguel.

grumpy wofl is grumpy

Then Danny notices that there’s blood on Derek’s shirt. Stiles explains that “Miguel” gets terrible nosebleeds, and yells at Derek to borrow one of his shirts. Derek grumpily pulls off his shirt and Danny and everyone else on earth is instantly mesmerized by his glorious perfection.

Unfortunately, none of Stiles’ shirts will fit this glorious perfection. Except for one.

OH LOOK IT’S TIME FOR A HILARIOUS GIFSET


 

Stiles realizes that pimping out shirtless Derek is the fastest way to winning Danny’s assistance. Derek glowers ferociously but plays along. Eventually Danny is overcome by the embarrassing horrorliciousness of it all, and agrees to try and trace the text message.

*****

Scott’s run out of places to search for the necklace, and stands in the middle of Allison’s room helplessly. He notices something on her desk, and walks over to take a look – it’s the receipt from their first date at the bowling alley. In fact, she’s even written a note on the back that says “first date with Scott!” I can’t decide if this is adorable or horrifying. Scott seems to think it is lovely.

And then, right in front of his little puppy face, he sees the necklace, tucked into a nearby book. It’s the book on the Beast of Geuvadan that Kate gave Allison, actually. Scott starts skimming though the pages, noting the things that Allison has circled. He breaks out his phone to translate some of it and is distraught when he realizes that “loup garou” means werewolf.

Scott finally realizes that maybe lurking sadly in the house of the town’s foremost armed werewolf hunters is a bad idea, and he takes a quick photo of the necklace to send to Stiles, pockets the necklace, and climbs out the window.

*****

Danny’s finally got the information Derek and Stiles have been looking for – the text message was sent from a computer, not a phone. And weirdly enough, the computer is located at the Beacon Hills Hospital and is registered to Melissa McCall.

*****

As Scott is leaving Allison’s house, Chris Argent pulls up and catches him getting onto his bike. Fortunately, he seems to think that Scott was just trying to ring the doorbell, and brings Scott inside to wait for Allison.

Once again, he offers Scott a beer, and Scott’s still not going to fall for this ridiculous test, Chris. Come the fuck on. Besides, Allison already dumped him, so Chris doesn’t need to torment him anymore, right? Wrong.

Chris doesn’t really want to talk about Allison and the break-up, of course. He wants to know how Scott knows Derek Hale. Scott was somehow not expecting this totally obvious line of questioning, and meebles in confusion.

*****

Allison is jogging in the forest and passes by the burned out Hale house. She decides to investigate a little bit and goes inside to snoop around. Eventually she spots some claw marks on the floor and kneels down for a closer look. Of course that’s when someone sneaks up on her; Allison screams like a gassy toddler.

Oh Allison. It’s just Kate, you goofball. And yes, she followed Allison on her run, because she was concerned. She wants to know what Allison is looking for; is it maybe answers? Allison wants to know why Derek would want to kill them, and Kate gives her half the truth, saying that if she and Chris had their family die in a terrible fire, she’d probably be a little murderous herself. She also reveals a lot of her own motivations to Allison then, and explains that she thinks that you don’t have to be psychotic to be a killer – you just need a good reason.

UGH WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR THE HOT SOCIOPATHS.

What Allison really wants is to not be scared, and to not feel helpless and weak. She wants to feel strong and powerful and safe for a change. Kate promises to help her get exactly what she wants if she’ll just be a little patient.

*****

Chris is interrogating Scott about his relationship with Derek. Scott is incredibly defensive, and Chris needles him relentlessly until Scott just stares at him, refusing to back down. Chris tries a new tactic and sits down next to Scott, saying that he’s just worried about Allison getting hurt. Scott shouts that the only thing he worries about is keeping Allison safe, and Chris seems to believe him.

Unbeknownst to Scott, Allison has returned from her run and overheard the entire conversation. She looks even more miserable than before.

*****

Scott calls Stiles from the lacrosse game to see if he received the photo of the necklace. Derek, sitting next to Stiles in the car, grabs the phone and demands more details from Scott, but there’s nothing to tell him – the necklace had no inscriptions, and it wasn’t an openable locket with awesome secrets inside. Grrr.

Scott also wants to know why Stiles isn’t at the game yet, and, sneaking up behind him, Coach Finstock also wants to know. Stiles says to tell his dad that he’ll be a little late to the game, and hangs up before Scott can hear the lie in his voice. Stiles isn’t going to make the game at all, and he’s definitely not planning on telling Scott about the text message coming from his mom’s computer.

Instead, Stiles and Derek are sitting outside the long-term care wing of the hospital and planning to investigate that very message. Derek has one last thing for Stiles before he goes inside, and that thing is smashing his head against the steering wheel. Yeah, Stiles, I think you know what that was for. That was for “Miguel”.

Hee.

*****

Jackson sidles up to Scott and asks him if it’s the bite that changes him, and Scott grumpily confirms that it’s true. Jackson thinks this will be the easiest thing in the world, until Scott explains that he can’t do it himself, it has to be an Alpha. Jackson insists that Scott make the Alpha bite him, and Scott just rolls his eyes at Jackson’s idiocy. Scott doesn’t even know who the Alpha IS, ffs. He also tells Jackson that there are people hunting them, which Jackson thinks is a bad joke.

Scott loses his temper and stupidly reveals that the Argents are the hunters, and Jackson has the revelation that no one else has had so far – it makes perfect sense that the Argents are werewolf hunters, since Argent means “silver” in French. Scott does his confused puppy head-tilt.

*****

Stiles is wandering around the hospital looking for Melissa, but he can’t find her anywhere. On the phone, Derek tells him to ask for his uncle’s nurse Jennifer instead, but she’s not there either. In fact, Uncle Peter isn’t even in his room.

Derek has a sudden and horrible revelation, and tells Stiles to run away immediately, because Peter is the Alpha. It’s too late, though, because as Stiles turns to flee, Peter is standing right behind him.

dun dun DUNNNNN

Lurking is totally a Hale family trait.

*****

Stiles backs away slowly from Peter and turns to flee, but Nurse Jennifer stops him from leaving. Stiles realizes that Jennifer has been working with Peter all along, and hops around in a panic, certain he’s about to die.

Don’t be ridiculous, Stiles, Derek is going to barge in and save you any moment now.

Derek actually knocks out Jennifer first, though. Peter psychos at him hilariously, complaining that he’s not being nice. Derek counters that Jennifer is a psychotic bitch helping Peter murder people, and tells Stiles to get out of the way.

CRAZY WOFL BRAWL.

Peter and Derek slam each other into walls and generally beat the crap out of each other until Peter gets the upper hand long enough to grab a set of keys from Jennifer’s pocket. He villainously monologues at Derek while tossing him around some more, ranting about how his life has been the hardest life since the fire left him catatonic and unable to heal. In fact, Peter’s only really been able to recover since he killed Laura and took her Alpha status from her. And that Alpha status is what’s making it so damn easy for him to kick Derek’s perfect ass right now.

Peter claims that he tried to warn Derek about what was happening, with all the spirals everywhere and whatnot. Derek, bloody and battered on the floor, crawls away from Peter, in the opposite direction from where Stiles is hiding behind a desk.

*****

Mr Harris is back in his darkened classroom, but this time he’s not alone – he’s being questioned by Sheriff Stilinski. Whatever it was that Mr Harris did, he waves it off as having been 6 years ago and before he’d gotten sober. Sheriff Stilinski doesn’t want to hear any excuses, especially not on the night of his son’s first lacrosse game.

Mr Harris explains that he met some girl in a bar, and they got super incredibly crazyface drunk together, and when she found out he was a chemistry teacher, she asked him a ton of questions. It turns out that Mr Harris told this mysterious girl all kinds of criminally-inclined things you can do with chemistry, like how to dissolve the lock off of a bank vault, or how to dispose of a dead body… or how to start a fire and get away with arson.

Oh, and then a week after Mr Harris met this mysterious girl? The Hale house burned down and killed everyone trapped inside. Sheriff Stilinski wants to know why Mr Harris never said anything, and Harris whines that he didn’t want to be charged as an accomplice, since it would’ve ended his teaching career. Harris confirms that he doesn’t know the girl’s name or where she came from, and that those were the same questions asked by Laura Hale. He then gives the Sheriff the only other information he has, which he also gave to Laura – a drawing of the necklace the girl was wearing.

Of course, it’s Kate’s necklace. The Argent family heirloom.

*****

Derek crawls into a nearby lab room with Peter right behind him. Peter dramatically uses his Alpha powers to heal the rest of the burn scars on his face, and admires his reflection in a surgical mirror. Can’t blame you, dude, you are a hotass mofo.

ONCE AGAIN WHY AM I ALWAYS INTO THE HOT CRAZY ONES.

Peter asks Derek to give him a chance to explain, since after all, they’re family, and they’re the only ones left. Derek looks horrified.

*****

Coach Finstock is delighted to see that Jackson and Scott are apparently sitting together, chatting companionably. He reminds them that there’s no ME in TEAM, and even Scott knows that’s wrong. Finstock amends his statement to “there’s no A in ECON if there’s no winning on the field,” and leaves them to their conversation.

Scott asks Jackson what his next move is going to be, and Jackson says he’s giving Scott 3 days to come up with a way to have the Alpha turn him. After that, Jackson’s going to presumably reveal everything.

*****

Sheriff Stilinski shows up at the game and starts looking around for Stiles, but he’s nowhere to be found.

*****

Up in the stands, Allison points out Jackson to Kate, and Kate agrees with everyone in the whole entire world that Jackson is super goddamn hot. Kate then notices that Jackson has the still-unhealed claw marks on the back of his neck, and draws Chris’ attention to them. She asks if you can be turned by a scratch, and Chris thinks that you can, if the claws go deep enough. They look at Jackson thoughtfully while Scott quietly panics, having overheard the entire conversation.

Please like & share:
  • Chaka

    How am I supposed to find out what happens after that half hous shirtless Derek scene if you distract me with pictures? I’ll try to finish your recap after I rewatch it.

    I’m enjoying your observations. Who knew MTV would give us a scripted show that’s so addicting and filled with eye candy?!

    Peter is psychotic but everyone has problems. I think ww can overlook his. I mean his family died in the fire he was burned in. It takes time to past something like that.

    • Liz

      I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SHIRTLESS DEREK!

    • Chris

      EVERYONE KNOWS THE BAD GUY HAS MORE FUN! And following that logic, if you can’t be the bad guy you might as well get with the bad guy(s). ;)

      • Liz

        YES ALL OF THEM

  • Laina

    THANK YOU for shirtless Derek. Made my night. MTV would be doing the whole world a favor if they just took shirts away from him entirely, am I right? ;o) Love your recaps, my dear.

    • Liz

      Oh man, there was this one tweet from NYCC last weekend where Jeff Davis was like SOMEONE WARN HOECHLIN THERE WILL BE LOTS MORE NAKEDNESS NEXT SEASON and the rest of my day was me just sort of whimpering on the floor.

  • mrmonkeybottoms

    Oh Miguel, you will always be my favourite.
    “This? No fit!”
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • Liz

      HIS LITTLE FROWNY FACE AT THE END OH MY GOD