Dexter 7.12 – Surprise Motherfucker!

Dexter

Oh god, the title of this episode. I just can’t. I love Doakes. Almost as much as I love this… 

surprise mf

Ahem.

Hannah looks awful in orange. As my friend Emily would say, it is definitely not her power color. She sits awkwardly across the table from her ex-boyfriend, the man who is responsible for her imprisonment. He was supposed to love her! And people who love you don’t put you in jail! Unless you try to poison their sister, of course. Hannah admits that she dissolved the pills in Deb’s water. She was trying to keep Dexter away, and that wasn’t right. Dexter doesn’t have to worry. His secret is safe with Hannah. Damn girl, if I was you I woulda been blabbing all over the place as soon as the cops showed up. Hell hath no fury and all of that jazz.

Is there any way to keep Deb safe? Dexter can’t live without Hannah, despite everything. She suggests they go to Argentina, far away from Deb. Dexter can’t do that. They’d never be able to trust one another. Hannah had always assumed that he’d be the one dead or behind bars. They say their good byes, and their hot make out sesh turns ugly when Hannah sinks her teeth into Dex’s lip. Ouch.
Hannah calls Arlene, begging for help. She can’t spend the rest of her life in prison. Besides, Arlene owes a debt to Hannah for saving her from that counselor. Guilt trips always work. Arlene agrees to do whatever it is.

Harrison proves he’s not mute when he tells Jamie and Dex that he misses Hannah. Awkward. They’re interrupted by a knock on the door. LaGuerta, flanked by two cops, stands outside. She asks Jamie to take Harrison into another room. She doesn’t want him to see her arrest his father. Dexter is under arrest for the murder of Hector Estrada.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

 

After all these years, I never thought we’d actually see Dexter being paraded through Miami Metro in handcuffs. But there it is, and it’s not a daydream. Maria has proof that he’s the Bay Harbor Butcher. Orly? Deb is powerless to do anything, and soon Dex is being interrogated.

LaGuerta has photos of Dexter carrying plastic bags to his boat. Dex says its ice, garbage, anything but the bloody tshirt Maria claims to have found. Angel tells Dexter to keep his mouth shut; he didn’t do anything wrong. But Dexter don’t play that way. No, he can play Maria’s game and he can play it better. He turns the blame onto her. If she couldn’t see that the man she was boning was the Bay Harbor Butcher, what does that say about her?

Deb barges into the interview room, Masuka in tow. He has some news: he ran the blood on the shirt that Maria gave him a second time. It’s definitely Estrada’s blood, but closer inspection revealed an evidence number. It was the shirt Estrada was wearing when he was brought in in 1973 – the cops accidentally broke his nose. A quick check with evidence shows that the shirt was missing. And guess what else? There was a partial print, and it was Maria’s.

Dexter is free to go.

A flashback means our favorite foul-mouthed (male) detective is back! And I’m so excited that this was newly filmed footage. In fact, Doakes and Dex seem to almost be… friendly, or at least civil, as they talk about a case. Maria asks to see Doakes and hands him a key. An apartment key? Hmm.

Deb stops by Dexter’s place that night, asking for a heads up the next time Dexter plans on getting arrested. He planted the shirt, not Deb, as I had originally thought. Next issue: Hannah’s arraignment is tomorrow. Is she going to use Dexter’s murdering tendencies as a bargaining chip? Dex is confident that she won’t.

Harry reminds Dexter that this is far from over. He needs to get rid of Estrada. If LaGuerta finds him, she’ll offer him a deal and put him in a safe house. Estrada needs to be put down for good.
Another Doakes flashback. Dexter accidentally lets his guard down at a crime scene, becoming a bit overzealous about his love of blood. Doakes, not missing a beat, catches his first glimpse of the “real” Dexter, and it doesn’t sit right with him. Dex knows he should have been more careful. Now that Doakes has that, it’s not going to go away.

Maria’s career is on the line. Matthews doesn’t want to back her up for fear of appearing crazy, too. Um, how many careers did LaGuerta ruin? Isn’t karma a betch?! Matthews tells her she better start kissing some ass, but he will see what he can do.
Hannah enters her plea of not guilty for the murder of Sal Price. As she’s led back out of the courtroom, a “distraught” Arlene runs to her. As the women hug, Arlene slips a small pill into Hannah’s hand before the guards shout: “NO TOUCHING!” Wrong show. I mean, before the guards pull them apart.

On the ride to the prison, Hannah starts seizing and falls unconscious. She is rushed to the hospital. Medical staff discusses calling her next of kin. Suicide, or a plan for easier escape?
Deb knocks on the door of Maria’s office. The captain wants to apologize for what she did to Dexter. Her career is probably going to take a major hit. Before she’s fired, she wants to make sure things are in order – there were some things she overlooked in the Travis Marshall killing and Deb can help with the timeline.

LaGuerta asks if Deb was at the church at all while Dex was doing the final forensics sweep. Deb answers in the negative. Maria pulls a disc out of an envelope. Mike Anderson’s widow mailed it to the station. Before his death, he had ordered security footage from all the gas stations near the church. Uh-oh. Deb is there, filling up a gas can two blocks from the church… twenty minutes before the fire department received a call about the burning church. Deb won’t fess up to anything. LaGuerta thinks she and Deb are both people who made mistakes trying to protect people they loved. They’re done, for now. But it’s far from over.

Dexter follows Estrada’s ex-wife to a park. She leads him right to the fugitive. Guess she’s still in love with him. It’s easy for Dexter to get Estrada close enough to the car to inject him and dump him in the trunk. Deb calls – they need to come up with a plan for dealing with LaGuerta.

The doctors return to check on Hannah. Surprise! She’s gone. Smart cookie.

Dex snoops around LaGuerta’s house, hoping to find something to help. He finds warrants to track the GPS on Deb’s and Dexter’s phones. Once they go through, she’ll know the truth. Harry tells him that it’s time to run. Take Deb and Harrison and get the hell out. They always knew it would come to that. But Dexter doesn’t want to run. The fake life that he and Harry created became real, and he can’t leave it. There is only one option. Harry insists she doesn’t meet the Code. But he forgot the first rule! Don’t talk about Fight Club. Oh, wait. Don’t get caught.

Estrada puts in a call to Maria. He needs her help – he’s back in the same container at the shipping yard. Dexter commends him on his acting while they wait for Maria’s arrival. A quick warm up kill is always a nice way to ease into another murder. Just like that, Estrada is D-E-D.

Hannah places a potted plant outside of Dexter’s apartment. She doesn’t contemplate their relationship or anything like that. No knock. Just puts the plant down and leaves, ready to move on to her next life.
At Angel’s

New Year’s Eve/retirement party, Deb is anxiously waiting for Dexter. Angel hasn’t seen him, either. And LaGuerta is also MIA. Deb calls dispatch and asks for a location on Maria’s car. She’s headed toward the wharves. Deb knows something bad is going to happen. She calls Dex and leaves a voice mail, begging him not to do whatever it is he’s planning, before rushing off to find him.

LaGuerta arrives at the shipping yard. The captain is studying a dead Estrada when Dexter drugs her. He explains the plan to Harry: only a half dose of M99 so it won’t show up in her system. He’ll use LaGuerta’s gun to shoot Estrada in the puncture wound, and then use another gun to shoot Maria. It’ll look like they killed one another. Deb pulls up, gun drawn. Dexter tells her to GTFO.

As they argue, Maria wakes up. She begs Deb to shoot Dexter, to end it all now. It’s not who she is – she’s a good cop, a good person, not like Dexter. Dexter agrees with LaGuerta. What?! Dex puts his hands up: “Do what you gotta do.” Sobbing, Deb shoots LaGuerta.

Holy. Fuck.

And then promptly loses her shit.

And then promptly loses her shit.

The siblings return to Angel’s restaurant party. It’s hopping, but Deb and Dexter are detached. The rules have been broken, and they have been transformed. Who are they? Is it a new beginning? Or the beginning of the end?

And now we wait until September for the final season of the show. Is Hannah really gone for good? Will the Morgans get away with murdering the captain of Miami Metro? Is Deb so irrevocably broken that she’ll never bounce back from what happened? Or maybe they’ll become a super duo! To be honest, though, I’m ready for the series to be over. They reached a peak with the death of Rita, and now it seems so all over the place. What do you guys think?

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