Teen Wolf – 2.09 – Party Guessed

Lydia is in the shower when she gets a strange feeling that something or someone is in the bathroom with her, lurking creepily. She turns off the water and very slowly and carefully pulls back the shower curtain. What she sees is rather surprising.

o hai

o hai

It’s not so much that there’s someone in her bathroom with her, it’s that the entire town seems to be there. And it’s not her bathroom anymore, it’s the center of the lacrosse field at the high school. Luckily, she’s no longer naked but is instead wearing her cute prom dress and looks quite fabulous, all things considered.

The crowd is holding up signs with her name on them and cheering for her delightedly. Everyone except for one girl in the center of the crowd, who’s crying hysterically. Hm. It looks an awful lot like Laura Hale.

Lydia turns to look over her shoulder and sees Peter Hale stalking towards her in his same dramatic swooshy leather trench coat of evil as the last time they were on the field together. She once again turns to flee but Peter tackles her to the ground and drags her away as she screams and struggles.

Lydia next wakes up in her bed from this ghastly nightmare. She throws the blankets aside and the bed is full of the dirt and grass that she’d clutched at as Peter dragged her off. She whispers “leave me alone,” but her hallucination of Peter doesn’t want to do that just yet. He wants to lay there beside her companionably for a little while.

She asks Peter if he’s real, and he tells her the answer to that question is also “not yet”. Peter also says that she’ll be fine as long as she does every single thing that he tells her to do.

Peter leads Lydia down the stairs in her pajamas, explaining that the last full moon of the winter is called the Worm Moon, which is naturally punctuated by a further hallucination of worms crawling all over her feet.

Lydia realizes that the next full moon will be on her birthday, and Peter reminds her that everyone always wants to come to her birthday parties. So this year, with Peter’s help, they’re going to make it a very special party indeed. Presumably this means death and horror for everyone, I guess.

Lydia asks him why he’s chosen her, and Peter tells her it’s because she’s immune. Lydia, however, has no idea what that means, because not one of her so-called friends has let her into the little woffly secret of Beacon Hills. Peter finds this pretty amusing, and says it would be easier to show her than to tell her. He then disappears into the shadows, only to come smashing through the kitchen window in his full hideous Alpha form a second later.

*****

Downstairs in the basement of the Argent house, Chris is cleaning out Victoria’s wolf bite wound and trying his best to be reassuring. Victoria Argent doesn’t need anyone’s reassurances, and calmly tells him she can clean the wound herself. Gerard comes downstairs to glare at them both, and Chris tries to tell him that since the bite isn’t very deep, maybe they won’t have any hairy issues. Gerard grimly tells him that it’s a bite from an Alpha and that’s that. Chris shakily reminds Gerard that Victoria is his wife, and Allison’s mother, and Gerard clearly finds this unArgentlike display of emotions to be completely pathetic and disgusting.

Chris asks how he’s supposed to tell Allison about all this – they just buried Kate a few weeks ago, ffs. Gerard tells him that as far as he’s concerned, Victoria is already dead, and “that thing over there is just a cocoon waiting to hatch.”

I don’t think Gerard understands the difference between mammals and insects. Gosh, how embarrassing.

*****

Inside the subway station hideout, Derek is grumping to Scott that they’re going to need a new plan for dealing with Jackson’s scaly little problem. Derek is afraid that the next time, one of them is going to be hurt too badly to heal themselves in time. Scott seems sadly resigned to the fact that they’re probably going to end up having to kill Jackson instead of saving him. Derek admits that he’s never seen anything as strong as the Kanima, and he has no idea how to stop him.

Scott thinks maybe they should just stand aside and let the Argents take care of the situation instead, but Derek feels guilty and responsible for giving Jackson the bite in the first place – he thinks it’s his job to end this any way he can. Scott reminds Derek that the reason Jackson turned into the Kanima instead of into a normal everyday werewolf was because of something in Jackson’s past. Derek is determined to feel guilty, though.

Scott thinks that Derek is hiding something from him, as usual, and Derek snaps at him for always being so suspicious. His righteous anger is all for nothing, because a second later, he says that maybe he’s hiding things from Scott to protect him. Derek sends Scott home and reminds him to keep his friends safe on the full moon.

*****

Allison drives Matt home from their hugely unsuccessful date, and as they pull up outside Matt’s house, he tries to apologize for kissing her. Allison just wants to go home and forget that any of this ever happened, and she tells him not to worry about it. Matt tries to ask her about her relationship with Scott, and there’s not a lot of useful conversation to have there either. They part on pretty friendly terms.

Just after Matt gets out of the car, Allison realizes that he’s left his camera in the car. She picks it up and starts scrolling through the saved photos, smiling at the lacrosse pictures of Scott and Stiles. A few shots later she’s not smiling anymore, though, because the rest of the images are super stalkery photos of herself, many of which were taken at times she didn’t even realize anyone was watching her.

In fact, there are some of her inside her own house. In her bedroom. At night.

oh hell no

oh hell no

Just as Allison is trying to process this fresh hell, Matt knocks on the passenger side window of her car, scaring the crap out of her. She stares at him in blank-faced horror as he tells her to roll down the window. Matt smiles at her like he’s not a crazy person and says that he forgot his bag, and asks her if she likes his photos. Instead of getting out her mace and blasting him in the face before calling her dad to come dispose of his crazed stalker body, Allison smiles at the crazy stalker and tells him that he’s a really talented photographer and that she’s really impressed by his work. Sigh.

Matt smiles and casually mentions that there are some good candid shots of her on the camera as well, and Allison pretends that she hasn’t seen them. Matt tells her he can show her the photos on his computer if she wants, and yeah, there is no way Allison is going inside your house, you maniac. Matt keeps creepily trying to convince her to come inside with him, and Allison keeps her totally fake smile plastered on and tells him she really needs to get going. ALLISON JUST MACE HIM MACE HIM ALREADY.

Allison is pretty much sliding over the line from fake-friendly and agreeable to terrified and cornered when Matt finally leans away from the window. Allison screeches off like she’s got a hellhound on her trail, and Matt watches her go with a creepy sort of look on his face.

*****

Derek and his betas are hanging out in the subway station again. Derek opens a large wooden trunk full of chains and medieval torture devices, which are apparently supposed to help them control themselves on the upcoming full moon. This should be fun.

i have the weirdest boner right now

i have the weirdest boner right now

*****

Lydia shows up at Allison’s house with a bunch of shopping bags and demands that Allison stop whatever she’s doing and bask in Lydia’s glorious birthday glow. Lydia’s pretty sure she’s going to need at least half a dozen dresses for the party. Allison nervously asks Lydia why she didn’t send out any invitations, and Lydia just smiles her perfect princess smile and tells Allison that everyone knows it’s the most important party of the year.

Allison doesn’t really want to just come right out and say that things might be different this year, since Lydia is now the crazy naked woods wanderer who got publicly dumped by the captain of the lacrosse team, so she kind of hedges around it halfassedly.

Lydia gives Allison a kind of crazyface look, which only gets worse when Allison asks if Jackson will be at the party tonight. She once again insists that “everyone” will be at the party, and then cleverly pulls out the dress she bought for Allison as a timely distraction.

Victoria knocks on the door to pull Allison aside and presumably tell her that she’s been bit by a werewolf and that Gerard and Chris will most likely be killing her that evening, but Allison doesn’t want to deal with what she likely assumes will be more horrible psychotic threats from her mom about Scott. Allison tells Victoria that they can talk later, and practically shoos her out of the room; her impatience and irritation and total lack of interest are almost palpable.

As she walks away, Victoria just barely manages to hold on to her pleasant faux-friendly mask. She glances back at Allison once, with her eyes full of stoic misery, and I could almost feel bad for her for approximately .02 seconds… until I recall what a completely psychotic genocidal maniac (and absolutely terrible mother) she is, so instead I laugh at her pain.

HA. HA HA HA.

*****

Stiles is scanning through the 2006 Beacon Hills yearbook again, and when his dad catches him at it, Stiles pretends he’s doing homework. The Sheriff realizes that Stiles is still obsessed with the details of the murders, of course, and tells him that the department brought Mr Creeper Harris in that morning for questioning – they’re working on a warrant to arrest him for all the murders. Stiles is not nearly as excited by this as one might expect – he asks his dad what kind of proof they have linking Mr Harris to the murders, and is not happy to hear that it’s just a set of tire tracks by Sean and Jessica’s trailer from the night Sean was killed in the forest.

Stiles is slightly mollified by the news that the same car was seen outside the hospital the next day when Jessica was murdered. When he realizes the car was identified by the Einstein bumper sticker, Stiles remembers seeing that same bumper sticker on a car outside the rave when Kara was killed. He still can’t figure out what connects everything, since Kara wasn’t in Mr Harris’ class, and it still doesn’t explain Mr Lahey’s death. Sheriff Stilinski doesn’t care that much, since he’s actually not the Sheriff anymore, and he’s confused by Stiles’ insistence that there’s something that they’re all missing.

And as Stiles turns another page in the yearbook, it’s right there in front of their faces – all the victims were on the swim team together, and the coach was Mr Lahey.

dun dun duuuunnn

dun dun duuuunnn

*****

Lydia corners Jackson outside the locker room to ask him if he’s coming to her party that evening. She brushes her hand over his forearm and Jackson shivers momentarily with some kind of eldritch terror. He looks at her with actual concern and tells her that she really doesn’t want him there. Lydia doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about Jackson’s behavior and simply tells him that she’ll see him there.

Jackson watches her walk away with creepy lizard eyes.

*****

That evening, Allison walks up to Lydia’s house in her party dress. The house is dark and kind of creepy on her first approach, and Allison is a little nervous. Some kids from school run past her towards the house, excited about the party, and Allison feels a little better.

Stiles arrives with a massive present that he can’t even get through the door. Lydia answers the door with a tray of drinks and a long-suffering expression on her face, and eventually just leaves him to deal with it on his own.

mmmkay

mmmkay

*****

Stiles and Scott are wandering through Lydia’s not very well attended party, looking for Jackson, who is nowhere to be seen. They also haven’t seen Allison yet, and debate whether or not to tell her what they’ve learned about the murder victims and the swim team. They’re still not sure how this relates to the Kanima being afraid of the water.

They get outside to the pool area and find Allison, who reports that Jackson isn’t there yet. Actually, almost no one seems to be there, and Stiles assumes it’s because Lydia has become the “town whackjob”.

Allison feels guilty for having ignored Lydia completely for the past few weeks due to woffly issues; Scott counters that Lydia has completely ignored Stiles for the past 10 years, and therefore they don’t owe her a party. Allison just wants a chance to get everything back to normal – she thinks Lydia wouldn’t even be the town whackjob now if it wasn’t for them. Scott decides he can use his social status as the co-captain of the lacrosse team to get some people over to the party, and Stiles offers to call some new friends he made a few nights ago, assuring everyone that “they know how to party”.

The doorbell rings, and it is suddenly super obvious where Stiles met these new friends of his – at the Jungle.

WERQ

WERQ

Lydia side-eyes the enormous crowd and then happily invites them inside.

*****

Derek and the betas are getting ready for the full moon. Boyd is worried about breaking free, and Derek doesn’t have many helpful things to say in response, instead telling Boyd that if he does get loose, he’ll probably try to kill anything that gets in his way, including Derek. SO HELPFUL, DEREK.

Isaac wants to know why Erica has to wear the horrible iron-spiked headband, and Derek quite rightfully explains that since Erica is female, she will have a much higher pain tolerance than any little crybaby guy. Derek places the horrible headband on Erica’s head and starts tightening the screws. Erica screams like someone is sawing her in half.

*****

Lydia’s party has turned out to be a big hit, even if it is full of people she’s never seen before. Allison is standing on the far side of the pool, by the punch bowl, and Stiles and Scott are on the opposite side. Stiles asks if Scott is ever going to apologize to Allison, and Scott can’t figure out what he’s done wrong that needs an apology. Stiles thinks this is usually a pretty good sign that Scott will need to apologize for something. Scott grumpily refuses, and Stiles tells him it’s probably just the full moon making him cranky. This is like the werewolf version of telling someone they have PMS, and Scott doesn’t like it any more than I would.

Stiles is adamant that Scott do something, because the numerous stresses of their lives have caught up with him and he’s about to lose his mind – people are getting murdered by a giant lizard monster, Stiles got his dad fired, Scott is being held back in school, Lydia’s gone bonkers, and he can’t sit back and watch Scott lose Allison to a creepy stalker like Matt.

Scott doesn’t seem to have heard any of Stiles’ rant, as he’s just noticed Jackson arriving at the party. Jackson stares out at the crowd creepily, and Lydia comes over to greet him, giving him a glass of punch. Jackson sips it evilly.

Lydia goes back to filling glasses with pink punch, with a sort of vacant smile on her face. Floating in the huge silver punchbowl we see a whole lot of purple wolfsbane flowers.

DRAMATIC MUSIC!

*****

All three betas are screaming by now, as the moon is rising. Only Isaac still seems capable of coherent speech – he asks Derek how he’s supposed to control himself in the future without all the shackles and torture devices. Derek explains that Isaac will have to find some kind of anchor to hold him back from being a crazyface people-eating wolfmonster; Derek’s own anchor is anger, which isn’t surprising. He tells Isaac that it’s different for everyone.

Just as Derek finishes shackling Isaac to a subway seat, Isaac thrashes and they both realize that he’s not as secure as they’d thought. Isaac growls almost unconsciously, and as Derek glances back towards Erica and Boyd, he sees that the change is coming over all three of them.

*****

Down in the Argent basement, Chris opens a briefcase full of prescription drugs and sets it down in front of Victoria. She’s deeply offended that Chris actually thought she would overdose on drugs in order to kill herself, and whips out her trusty kitchen knife instead. Chris doesn’t seem surprised by Victoria’s ability to be ridiculously hardcore even in death. Victoria excuses herself to go upstairs and write her “suicide” letter.

After she’s gone, Gerard reminds Chris not to hesitate if Victoria can’t do it herself, and tells him not to coddle Allison over it, since she has to learn now that life is grim and terrible, apparently. Oh Gerard, go away. No one likes you. Not even your own son.

*****

Lydia’s party is getting more and more wild as people are affected by the wolfsbane punch. Matt shows up somewhat late and glances around at the mayhem amusedly. He spots Allison a few feet away and is upset when she takes one look at him and heads in the opposite direction; he ends up tossing his glass of punch in the trash like a great big grumpypants.

Scott starts feeling a little odd and stares down at his hands, which Lydia takes as a sign that he needs another drink. Scott tries to tell her that he’s not drinking that night, and Lydia gets fed up with his sad puppy attitude and demands that he immediately make up with Allison so they can stop ruining her party with their great big woobly bambi eyes of woe.

Scott finds this speech extremely helpful and downs his drink before wandering off to try and snuggle with Allison. Unfortunately, she seems to have disappeared.

Allison is actually upstairs with Matt; she tells him he has two minutes to explain himself. Matt tries to explain that the photos he took weren’t so bad because he thinks she’s super beautiful. Allison points out that some of the photos were super creepy and she can’t even figure out how he was able to take them. Matt laughs and says he used a telephoto lens, which really does not help his case, omg. Matt finally realizes that he won’t be able to joke and charm and smile his way out of this one, and gets awfully defensive at being called a stalker. What, does Allison think he’s the kind of guy to say “well if I can’t have her, no one can”?

Allison doesn’t think anything of the sort right now, because she’s just seen something very strange outside in the hall – a hooded figure carrying a crossbow.

Matt snarls at her that there will be another pretty girl walking into the room every five minutes, and Allison is just done with his crap right there. She says that he’ll just need to wait another couple of minutes, and turns to leave. Matt grabs her arm to stop her from leaving, and Allison just puts his ass right down on the ground. WERQ IT GURL. Alas, Matt thinks she’s an insane maniac, and Allison apologizes nervously before fleeing.

Out in the crowded hallway, Allison again spots the crossbow-holder, and gets very nervous indeed. She starts shouting for Scott, but no one seems to notice her, and then she’s suddenly shot right in the stomach by a crossbow bolt. But when she looks up into her attacker’s face, it’s herself. And Hallucination!Allison is completely disgusted with her, mocking her for yelling for help. Hallucination!Allison says that she’s really been looking forward to this, and raises her crossbow for a head shot. And then she disappears.

Allison is really, really confused by the fact that she is no longer bleeding to death.

*****

Outside, the party is really getting out of hand. People are dancing wildly and making out at random.

And then there’s this guy.

idek, y’all.

Stiles and Scott survey the madness, and Stiles asks Scott if he’s feeling okay. Scott mumbles something about the full moon and wanders away.

Stiles stops in his tracks when he hears a familiar voice shouting over the sound of the crowd – it’s his dad, and he’s super drunk, yelling at some kid that he’s wearing black because that’s what you wear to a funeral. Sheriff Stilinski spots Stiles looking at him and directs his rant at his son, blaming him for Stiles’ mom’s death, saying that Stiles ruined his life with his weird hyperactivity and craziness and whatnot.

my precioussss

my precioussss

He then tells Stiles that “you killed your mother, and now you’re killing me,” and draws back his arm to throw the bottle of whiskey at Stiles’ head. Stiles flinches back, but nothing happens, because of course it was all just a terrible hallucination.

*****

Victoria is sitting alone in Allison’s room, holding a photo of herself and Allison, trying not to cry. As Chris walks in, she tells him that she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Allison, so naturally the logical thing to do is kill herself in her teenage daughter’s bedroom so she can “be with her”.

JESUS WEPT LADY YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE.

Victoria admits that she might need Chris’ help after all. They sit together on Allison’s bed and watch the moon rise.

*****

Scott stumbles upstairs at Lydia’s house, looking for Allison. He is definitely feeling both the effects of the full moon and the wolfsbane punch. When Scott reaches the first landing of the stairs, he sees Jackson and Allison wildly making out on the window seat above him. As he watches, Jackson turns into the Kanima and Allison continues slobbering all over him delightedly. Scott almost slips into his full wolfy change and just barely manages to fight it off, and suddenly realizes that this is something Lydia must have done.

*****

Outside, Jackson gets the same sort of weird supernatural sensation of wrongness, and drops his empty glass on the floor. He’s overheard his name from across the backyard, and when he locates the source, it’s two adults with their backs facing him who claim to be his real parents trying to find him. But when they turn around, they literally have no faces and it is super super creeptastic. Suddenly Jackson realizes that he himself has no face either, and then the hallucination ends.

Scott comes outside looking for Lydia, but she’s gone – she’s out front, walking down the driveway smiling the smile of a totally ensorcelled whackjob who has pranced off to see the faeries.

*****

Derek has completely lost control of the situation with his betas. Boyd and Erica are moments away from their full transformations and the shackles don’t look very sturdy in retrospect. Derek tries calling Scott and asking for help, but of course Scott doesn’t answer his phone.

This entire series could actually be called TEEN WOLF DOESN’T ANSWER HIS GODDAMN PHONE.

Derek wolfs out a little bit himself in hopes of being able to control his wayward band of betas, and just in time too, as Boyd and Erica have torn themselves free and really want to spread his entrails all over town.

WILD SNARLY WOFLBRAWL!

*****

Stiles is somewhat passed out up against the wall when Scott finally finds him. Scott splashes at his face ineffectively with a bottle of water, trying to sober him up somehow. An extremely helpful classmate, Danielle, observes Scott’s sad failure and shows him how to get the job done right – she grabs Stiles by the shoulder and shoves him face-first into the pool. Stiles is immediately and painfully sober.

*****

The crazy wolfbrawl is still going crazy. Derek just barely manages to hold Erica down long enough to redo her restraints. Isaac has done the best out of all three betas, and even though he’s completely wolfed out, he is able to hold Boyd back when Boyd tries to escape the subway car and kill everyone everywhere. YAY ISAAC!

*****

Victoria and Chris hold hands and watch the moon rise. Victoria has the kitchen knife poised over her heart, and tells Chris that she can feel the change starting. She reminds him to tell people that she had a history of depression, and Chris can’t really deal with how calmly she’s taking all this. Chris promises to tell Allison that Victoria did it for the family.

Victoria tells Chris that she can’t do it on her own and begs Chris to help her. As the moon comes out from behind the clouds, her eyes change to the gold of a beta wolf, and together, she and Chris shove the knife into her heart.

*****

Derek chains back up a still-wolfy Isaac and tells him he’ll probably be okay now, since it looks like he found an anchor. Isaac says his father is his anchor, and Derek finds this statement confusing and weird, since Mr Lahey locked his son in a freezer in the basement to punish him. Isaac quietly says that his dad wasn’t always like that. Boyd and Erica are chained up at the back of the subway car, seemingly unconscious, so Derek steps out of the car for a moment to catch his breath.

Right outside the car, Lydia tinkerbells out of the shadows and walks up to Derek to blow a handful of glittery purple powder into his face. And just like that, he’s out cold on the floor.

*****

Allison arrives at the hospital, hoping to find out that it was all a terrible mistake, but the first thing she sees is her dad talking to one of the Sheriff’s deputies and looking utterly lost and miserable. She runs right up to him, sobbing, and yells that this better not be another one of his sick “training sessions”. It’s really not, Allison. He tells her he’s sorry and they hug and cry together a lot.

*****

Back at the party, Scott and Stiles are the only sober and relatively sane people there. Stiles has caught on to the fact that everyone who drank the punch has lost their fool minds. Plus, Lydia is absolutely nowhere to be seen. As they try to figure out what to do, people start getting thrown in the pool. Moments later, they hear a familiar voice shouting out in terror – it’s Matt yelling that he can’t swim. The crazed revelers throw him into the pool anyway, and he struggles for a second or two before slipping under the water.

Before anyone else can move, Jackson hauls Matt out of the pool and then runs away. Matt snarls at the assembled unhelpful crowd on his way out, and Scott and Stiles stare at him in shock.

The police arrive and the partygoers flee shrieking into the night.

*****

Scott runs out to the front of the house and sees Matt standing across the street, soaking wet and crazyfaced with pure evil rage. As Scott watches, the Kanima slithers up next to Matt and wraps its tail around his legs in a sort of friendly lizardly fashion, and Scott realizes that it’s been Matt all along.

BEASTMASTER

BEASTMASTER

Both Matt and the Kanima disappear into the crowd.

*****

Derek starts regaining consciousness as Lydia drags him into the burned-out shell of the Hale house. He tries to get Lydia to stop whatever the hell it is that she’s doing, but she ignores him.

Lydia has torn open the floorboards above Peter’s charred corpse, and places Derek’s forearm in Peter’s ashy hand. Derek tells her again that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, but it’s no use. Lydia rearranges a nearby mirror to reflect the light of the full moon directly onto Derek and Peter’s joined hands, and Peter’s claws pop out and gouge into Derek’s arm. Peter awakens to the sound of Derek screaming in pain, and the red Alpha light drains from Derek’s eyes.

Then Peter explodes out of the floor, naked, which I would normally be really down for, except for the fact that he’s been a rotting corpse for the past month or so and there is just no way that is in any way appealing to smell. No matter how unreasonably hot he is. No. I mean, right?

sob

Peter smiles his usual maniac smile at Lydia and says that he heard there was a party – but don’t worry, he invited himself.

PLEASE CAN WE DO THE SEX I WOULD LIKE TO DO THE SEX WITH YOU

PLEASE CAN WE DO THE SEX I WOULD LIKE TO DO THE SEX WITH YOU

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  • Chris

    Matt didn’t even make my evil-dar until the car scene. Maybe I was too caught up in trying to figure out wtf is up with Mr. Harris. WE’VE GONE THROUGH TWO SEASONS AND STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT MR. HARRIS’ DEAL IS.

    Helllloooo, Peter (how come there isn’t more Peter-and-the-wolf fic out there? I love the red riding hood fusions for Sterek, but this would be fun to read).

    • Liz

      WHY HASN’T MR HARRIS BEEN EATEN BY A GRUE

      THIS IS A GRAVE INJUSTICE

  • Laina

    I’m with Chris – Matt wasn’t on my evil-radar AT ALL until this episode. Way to go Teen Wolf writers! I was sure it was Mr. Harris too. What is up with that guy? He surely can’t be that much of an asshole “just because” can he?
    I was not sad at all when Victoria Argent offed herself. She was a crazy-faced maniac and deserved a messy end. But to do the deed in your daughter’s bedroom??? That is just effed up and selfish! Don’t worry Victoria, Allison will only be scarred for life, ffs.
    Yay Isaac! I was so happy that he turned out to be the strong one of Derek’s betas. I just love that little puppy.

    • Liz

      FOR SERIOUS. Matt seemed like just a regular run of the mill awkward high school creeper!