Teen Wolf – 2.12 – Master Plan

Jackson’s body, oozing Kanima venom, is loaded into the back of an ambulance in a body bag. Melissa McCall insists upon riding along with them to the hospital, claiming that she’ll have to give a statement anyway. The EMT is pretty unenthusiastic about this plan, so Melissa gives her no time to argue.

gloop gloop

gloop gloop

*****

Gerard shoves Stiles down the stairs to the Argent family’s crazy hellhole of a basement and slams the door behind him, leaving Stiles alone in the darkness. From across the room, Stiles hears a creepy noise and quite reasonably assumes the worst. He backs up against the wall and fumbles around for the light switch, but once the light are on, what he sees is not what he was expecting – it’s Erica and Boyd, hanging from the ceiling all tied up and gagged, bloody and frightened.

plz halp

plz halp

*****

Back at the high school, Sheriff Stilinski is talking to Scott and Isaac, trying to figure out where Stiles is. Since his jeep is still in the parking lot, the Sheriff is getting worried that someone took him against his will. Scott tries to reassure the Sheriff by saying that maybe Stiles is freaked out by all the attention from winning the game, and maybe he ran off to hide somewhere. The Sheriff appreciates Scott’s attempts but doesn’t seem convinced.

Coach Finstock gallops over to flail at Scott about needing him on the team next year; he just really wants Scott to work on his grades and not screw up again. It’s almost another missed hug moment but everyone manages to restrain themselves.

Once Isaac confirms that everyone is gone from the locker room, Scott rips the door off of Stiles’ locker and starts rooting through his stinky clothes – he and Isaac are going to try and track him down by his scent. Isaac is complaining about getting stuck with Stiles’ stinky shoe when Scott notices that they’re not actually alone in the locker room after all. Derek has done his usual sneaky creeping into the room, and tells them that they need to talk. Peter is right behind him, startling the crap out of Scott.

*****

Stiles tries to untie Boyd and Erica, but their hands are bound with live wire – not strong enough to kill them, but strong enough to hurt. And definitely strong enough to keep Stiles from undoing the knots.

Gerard strolls down the stairs and smugly tells Stiles that Boyd and Erica’s sad whimperings were actually trying to warn Stiles away. Stiles demands to know what Gerard is doing with them, and Gerard casually explains that he’s just holding on to them for the time being, since they won’t give Derek up, even under torture.

This makes Stiles pretty nervous, and he asks Gerard what Gerard grabbed him for. He reminds Gerard that Scott can track his scent, but Gerard just laughs at him. His plan is for Scott to find Stiles bloody and beaten to a pulp, which Stiles is not really a fan of. Gerard walks over to him and Stiles goes for one last taunt, telling Gerard that he’s got to be 90 years old and surely Stiles can kick his ass, right?

Sadly, no. Gerard backhands Stiles to the ground (I HATE YOU GERARD) and proceeds to beat the crap out of him while Erica and Boyd watch helplessly.

*****

Scott is still trying to wrap his mind around The Peter Situation. He can’t believe that Derek is willing to trust him again after all the times that Peter tried to kill them. Derek counters Scott’s outrage with some bitching of his own – Scott’s not exactly one to talk about plotting with people who have tried to kill them, considering his secret alliance with Gerard.

Scott is totally caught out but refuses to back down, because Gerard threatened to kill his mother. Peter tries to add something useful to the conversation by reminding everyone that Scott’s mom is super hot, but no one wants to hear from the murderous hot zombie peanut gallery right now.

 

Isaac is completely lost by this entire conversation and asks Scott what’s going on. Scott’s explanation is concise: it’s Derek’s uncle Peter, he tried to kill them all, and then they set him on fire and Derek slashed his throat. Peter gives Isaac a friendly little wave, and Isaac manages not to facepalm at the ridiculousness of his life.

 

Scott asks the most important question of all, namely how the hell is Peter even alive right now, but Derek has more pressing things on his mind, like the fact that Peter is pretty sure they can stop Jackson and still keep him alive at the same time.

Well, guys, sorry, but that would be much more helpful if Jackson was still alive. Derek and Peter are completely taken aback at this strange piece of news, and when Scott explains that it just happened on the field, Peter and Derek are pretty sure it was no accident. If Jackson is dead, then it means that Gerard wanted him dead, and they need to find out why, ASAP.

*****

Chris walks in to Allison’s room to talk to her, and finds her already whispering with Gerard. The icy look they both give him is pure Mean Girls. God, Chris, don’t you know we wear leather on Wednesdays?

Chris tells Gerard that he noticed the lights flickering, and Gerard waves it away as one of their “guests” downstairs trying to “get comfortable”. Gerard walks out of the room, telling Allison that she needs to get some sleep because the next 24 hours will be really eventful. Chris stops him at the door and asks what happened at the game. Gerard just smiles at his son and say that they won, and Chris tells him that he was talking about Jackson. Yeah, well. So was Gerard.

Chris asks Allison to sit this one out, and she refuses completely, not even caring that one of her friends is dead now. She blames Derek for Jackson’s death, and for Kate’s and her mom’s. So what about Scott, then? Allison laughs at Chris, asking since when he’s started caring about Scott, and Chris quietly says that he cares about her. Allison laughs her nasty Gerard-inspired laugh again, because if Chris really cared about her, he would be proud that she was becoming the hunter that he always wanted her to be.

Chris is fed up with everything, because they’re all doing what Gerard wants, even if she can’t see that right now. Thinking she’s won this argument, Allison snarkily reminds Chris that he owes her a new compound bow. As she’s talking, he picks up her cute little crossbow and destroys that as well, snarking right back that he owes her a new crossbow now too.

*****

Melissa is alone in the morgue with Jackson’s body bag when she notices the Kanima venom-goo dripping from the bag. Since she is perhaps the most sensible person in the entire county, she scrapes the goo off the floor with a cotton swab to inspect it, instead of using her finger, and thus remains unparalyzed.

Curiosity overcomes sensibility and she unzips the body bag to see what the heck is going on.

*****

Sheriff Stilinski is standing in Stiles’ room, telling someone on the phone that he hasn’t found any clues there to his son’s location. As he hangs up the phone, Stiles appears in the doorway, looking beat to hell. The Sheriff grabs Stiles’ face and demands to know who hurt him, and Stiles gives him a barely believable story about getting jumped by a bunch of guys from the opposing team who were angry about losing the big game.

noooo my precious cookieface

noooo my precious cookieface

Sheriff Stilinski demands names and descriptions and all kinds of information that Stiles just doesn’t have the energy to make up, and Stiles just has to shout him down until they can hug for a while.

*****

Scott happily receives the news that Stiles has been located just as he, Isaac, Derek, and Peter arrive at the Hale house. Peter has something useful stashed under the stairs in the house, which Derek assumes is some kind of mysterious old book like the Argent’s bestiary. Oh Derek, really?

 

Meanwhile, Scott gets a call from his mom over at the hospital, and she is freaking out like whoa, telling Scott that he’ll have to come and see for himself because she can’t even begin to explain that Jackson’s body is now sheathed in a cocoon of hideous quivering goo.

*****

Stiles is laying on his bed hating his life and everything and everyone when a persistent knock on his bedroom door forces him to get up. He assumes it’s his dad again, but it’s actually Lydia coming to see if he’s okay. Stiles is more confused than he’s ever been in his life to see her standing in his doorway.

Lydia asks what happened to his face, and he tells her that it’s fine, and waves her into the room. Lydia holds it together until Stiles shuts the door behind them, and then she just breaks down. No one will let her in to see Jackson’s body, and she’s obsessed with the idea of giving him back his house key, which she still carries with her everywhere.

*****

Scott and Isaac have joined Melissa at the hospital and are looking down at their serving of Jellied Jackson in Aspic with totally befuddled expressions. Isaac is pretty sure that whatever the hell it is, it can’t possibly be good.

he shall be my squishy

he shall be my squishy

As they watch, Jackson’s body twitches creepily, and everyone gives a nervous little hop back from the table. Scott, reverting to tiniest of all puppies in the presence of his mom, tells her to zip the bag back up. Melissa rolls her eyes at her suddenly helpless son and starts zipping. The zipper gets stuck just by Jackson’s chin, and as Melissa tugs at it, Jackson’s Kanima-toothed mouth opens up and he starts hissing sort of absentmindedly. ZIP FASTER, MOM!

*****

Chris goes down into the basement and looks at Boyd and Erica hanging from the ceiling. He tells them that his family has been doing this for a long time – what, torturing high school kids? good to know, Chris – and that they’ve learned some important things, like what level of electric current will keep a werewolf from transforming. At higher levels, it can keep them from healing or prevent them from using their wolfy strength. It looks like Chris is pondering whether or not to test out those higher levels on Erica and Boyd, but instead he turns off the power completely. Looks like he’s finally found both his conscience and his balls.

*****

Stiles hands Lydia a roll of toilet paper, apologizing for not having any tissues. Lydia gives him a suspicious eyebrow look, because what teenage boy doesn’t have tissues in his bedroom?

(Also, hilariously, in the very next shot there is a box of tissues behind them. TEEN WOLF, I AM JUST SAYING, WHEN YOU ARE TIRED OF HAVING HILARIOUSLY SHITTY CONTINUITY IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO HIRING ME.)

Stiles’ phone chirps and Lydia snatches it up, waving it impatiently at Stiles, telling him that he has 17 missed messages from Scott. She asks if Stiles is ignoring him, and Stiles is sort of meh about the whole subject.

Lydia then notices a bunch of unopened gifts in the corner, and asks Stiles what he’s doing with a pile of women’s jewelry. Embarrassingly enough, it was all supposed to be for Lydia’s birthday, because he didn’t know what to get her; Stiles planned on returning whatever he didn’t eventually give her. Lydia is startled but seems totally charmed by this awkward confession.

Stiles’ phone chirps again, and when Lydia reads the message, she tells Stiles that he’s going to want to read this one.

*****

Derek is on the phone with Scott, relaying to Peter his description of Jackson’s venom jelly coating, and the fact that Jackson is now starting to move a bit. Peter is unenthusiastic about this news, because he’s found some startling information: apparently what they’ve seen so far of the Kanima is actually just it’s beta shape. The final form is significantly larger and more disturbing. It also has wings.

Derek tells Scott to bring Jackson over to the house immediately, but the body bag is twitching even more alarmingly, and Scott doesn’t think they’ll have time for that.

Meanwhile, Peter has found some more info on the Kanima’s Alpha state.

 

Maybe they should meet Scott and Isaac halfway, then. Derek tells them to grab Jackson’s body and leave the hospital immediately.

*****

Gerard is sitting in his office when he senses something Kanima-ish happening, and he heads upstairs to wake Allison.

*****

Scott and Isaac are smuggling Jackson’s body bag out of the hospital and into the parking lot when they’re cornered by Chris in his SUV.

*****

Derek is rushing off to meet Scott and Isaac, and Peter reminds him that they need Lydia for their plan to work. Derek insists that there’s no time for that now, but Peter counter-insists that they not rush things and end up playing right into Gerard’s hands. Derek just doesn’t even care anymore; if he gets the chance to kill Jackson before he transforms into the winged monster thing, he’s going to take it.

*****

Chris isn’t there to fight with Scott and Isaac, he’s there to help. He tells Scott that they have a common enemy at the moment, and he’s not talking about Jackson.

*****

Stiles asks Lydia how much she knows about what’s been going on, and it’s not a whole lot, just some bits and pieces here and there. It mostly feels like a dream to her, and Stiles tells her it’s really more like a nightmare. Lydia doesn’t care, she just wants to try and help Jackson if she can. Stiles rants at her that she might not care about getting hurt, but he won’t be able to deal with it if anything happens to her.

stiles don't be a meanie

stiles don’t be a meanie

He gets all up in her face, super angry at the entire world, and she backs away from him in actual fear. Stiles catches himself, horrified, and tries to apologize for blowing up at her, but she’s already running away, telling him that she’ll find a way to help Jackson herself.

*****

Chris explains to Scott that Allison has been brainwashed by Gerard the same way Kate was, and he can’t stand to lose her any more than Scott can. Scott asks if Chris will trust him to take care of this, and Chris nods, but when Scott asks if Chris will let them go, he refuses. But only because Chris’ car will be faster.

*****

Stiles is checking his phone grumpily, not pleased by whatever it says. Sheriff Stilinski stops by his room and sees that Lydia is already gone, and asks Stiles if there’s anything going on between them, finally. Stiles says no, because Lydia is very much in love with someone else.

:(

His dad tries to comfort him a little, telling him that even though Stiles is all shaken up by getting beat up, and by Jackson’s death, he was still a total superstar at the game. Stiles doesn’t want to take the compliment well, but the Sheriff is super insistent, telling Stiles in great detail exactly how awesome he was, and telling him that he was a hero.

As his dad walks away, Stiles whispers to himself “I’m not a hero.”

SOB.

*****

Chris’ SUV pulls into an alley and everyone gets out to wait for Derek, who arrives moments later doing that godawful down-on-all-fours woffly run thing that makes me crack the hell up every single goddamn time, oh my god. Peter watches, lurking in the shadows, and seems to find it hilarious as well. He is perfectly delightful, I adore him beyond all logic and reason, and one day he shall be my vampire bride. Yes.

Chris tells Derek that he’s only there for Jackson, but Derek isn’t about to take an Argent at their word. They haul Jackson inside and leave him on the floor. Peter continues lurking hilariously around the corner, because creeping is the second greatest Hale family trait, after being a sassy hotass, of course.

Scott asks why they’re not waiting for Peter and Lydia to get there, and Derek tells him that there’s no time for that plan anymore. Gerard has clearly engineered this entire situation knowing that Jackson’s next form will be incredibly powerful and dangerous, and as the Kanima’s master, he’ll be in full control.

Chris refuses to believe that Gerard would do something like that, and denies it heatedly. Before anyone can enumerate the incredibly long list of ways in which Gerard is exactly the kind of person who would do that, the man himself arrives to defend himself. Gerard says ominously that anything as dangerous as what Jackson will become is better off dead.

Derek moves to rip Jackson’s chest open with his claws, and Jackson reaches up and buries his claws in Derek’s chest instead, lifting him off his feet entirely, Dirty Dancing style. Jackson flings Derek across the room, covered in blood.

Gerard nastily compliments Scott on a job well done; apparently it was Gerard’s plan all along that Scott would bring Jackson to Derek in order to save him, and what Scott didn’t realize was that this would mean bringing Derek to Gerard.

An arrow flies out of the darkness and hits Isaac in the chest – it looks like Allison is there too, then. Scott drags Isaac out of the line of fire, and Chris starts shooting at Jackson. None of his bullets have any kind of effect aside from probably irritating Jackson a little, and then Jackson snatches the gun away with his wiggly little lizard tail.

Chris runs away to regroup, and then turns to face Jackson with only a large knife. Jackson flings him across the room. Before Jackson can finish Chris off, Derek springs out of the shadows ready for a wolfy brawl, with Scott and Isaac there to back him up.

The three of them take on Jackson as Peter continues to watch from the shadows like a weird creeper.

It is at this point that I would like to remind everyone that Tyler Hoechlin apparently does a lot of his own stunts. Please take a moment to recover from your lusty swoons. You are welcome.

Despite their superiority in numbers, the three werewolves don’t seem to be doing very well against Jackson. Things get even worse when Allison attacks Isaac with a pair of knives, virtually gutting him. She heads for Derek next, but Jackson knocks the knives from her hands and grabs her throat before she can attack. Because in Gerard’s world, this is just as good as saying “hey wait a minute sweetie”.

You see, Gerard’s plan all along has been something completely different. Scott and Isaac both know exactly what is wrong with Gerard – he’s dying of cancer. And he intends to use the Kanima, and Allison, to blackmail Derek into giving him the bite, so he can survive. Chris is unbelievably repulsed and horrified at his disgusting horrible father, accusing him of being willing to kill Allison to get what he wants. Gerard corrects him – it’s not just Allison, he’d kill his own son to get what he wants. Now Scott just needs to convince – or force – Derek to do it.

Scott walks over to Derek, who is already horribly injured, and stabs his claws into Derek’s throat, hauling him to his feet. Derek gasps out that once Gerard is turned, he’ll kill Derek to steal his Alpha status, but Scott already knows this as well. Gerard snarls at Derek that Scott’s doing this because Gerard will give him Allison – information which Allison hears with absolute horror.

Derek begs him not to do it, but Scott pulls his head back anyway, leaving Derek’s mouth open. Gerard stuffs his forearm in Derek’s mouth and Derek bites him. Gerard raises his bitten arm in the air victoriously, but things do not turn out precisely as he’d hoped.

Instead of healing, Gerard’s bite wound starts leaking thick black fluid. He realizes by the looks on everyone’s faces that something is badly amiss, and Gerard savagely asks Scott what he’s done. And oh, how innocently Scott smiles.

You see, everyone always told Scott from the very beginning that Gerard had some long-term plan of extreme cunning, so Scott decided to make a plan of his own. He replaced the pill box full of Gerard’s medication with powdered wolfsbane, which Gerard has been taking for weeks. So instead of turning him, the bite is going to kill him, and very messily indeed.

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SATISFYING, LET’S WATCH IT AGAIN

DING DONG THE DOUCHE IS DEAD

HOORAYS

Ok just one more time.

ANYWAY.

Derek is still huddled on the floor, almost whimpering with the shock of Scott doing something incredibly clever all on his own. And let’s all be totally honest here, it IS pretty surprising. Derek asks Scott why he didn’t let him in on the plan, and Scott just breaks his little wolfy heart completely. Scott tells Derek that while he might be an Alpha, he’s not Scott’s Alpha. All that talk about joining his pack was just part of Gerard’s plan and was never real.

Unfortunately, Gerard still has a little bit of life left in him, and he shouts at Jackson to kill everyone. Before Jackson can do so, Stiles and Lydia come smashing through the wall in Stiles’ jeep – right into Jackson. It only stops him for a second, but it’s long enough for Allison to get away.

Jackson jumps onto the hood of the jeep, hissing like a cat that fell in the bath, and Stiles and Lydia make a run for it. But instead of huddling behind their wolfy friends like Stiles does, Lydia stands and confronts Jackson. He’s about to attack her mindlessly when she holds up his house key; Jackson is suddenly lost in memories of the time he actually gave her the key, when they were together in bed.

squee

squee

Jackson de-lizards himself and takes the key from her hand. Instead of leaning in to kiss her, as Lydia is hoping for, Jackson slowly backs away from her and braces himself, nodding to Derek – he knows that his death was always their plan.

At this sign, Derek moves towards Jackson from the front as Peter finally

comes out of hiding behind him. Peter and Derek clawstab Jackson simultaneously, ripping him open, and he doesn’t fight them at all. As he collapses, Lydia runs over to catch him before he hits the floor. Jackson asks Lydia if she still loves him, and she tells him that she does. He dies in her arms.

 

wah

wah

Lydia lays Jackson down on the floor and watches as the lizard pattern fades from his skin. Meanwhile, Allison notices that Gerard’s body has disappeared, and Chris says he can’t have gotten that far. Ideally he was already eaten by rats.

Lydia stands alone by Jackson’s body, sobbing, and as Stiles walks over to comfort her, he notices Jackson’s hands moving. Jackson’s eyes pop open, and they’re bright blue, and he gets to his feet super hilariously dramatically, roaring out his first grown-up werewolf roar.

Lydia runs straight into his arms and they cling to one another like Jack and Rose on the deck of the sinking ship. Stiles watches them, resigned and unhappy; everyone else is pretty much just shocked. Scott and Allison reach for each others hands almost simultaneously.

As Stiles pushes past Scott to walk away, Scott sees the smeary tears on his face; Stiles brushes it off as being sad that he crashed his jeep. Oh Stiles.

*****

Later, in her bedroom, Allison tells Scott that she’s sorry, and he tells her it’s okay.

No, Scott, actually it’s really NOT okay! She tried to murder a whole bunch of kids, including you! Because of what really just boils down to racism! You can love her and care about her and still tell her that she did an incredibly stupid, shitty thing! A thing that she should feel bad for having done! That is allowed! That is actually really goddamn important! Owning up to bad shit you’ve done is part of being a responsible adult and a decent human being! ARGH.

Allison feels even worse at his niceness, because she needs to break up with him, too. Scott again tells her it’s okay and I give up, okay. I give up.

Allison asks him how any of this can possibly be okay – FOR SERIOUS, YOU TELL HIM GIRLFRAND – and Scott just says that he can wait for her. Allison doesn’t want to make him wait around for her, but he doesn’t care – he knows they’re going to be together one day. Allison tells him that there’s no such thing as fate, and Scott smiles and says that there’s no such thing as werewolves, either.

They kiss for about 5 seconds and then Scott gets up to leave. Allison leans after him a little but lets him go. Chris nods at him on his way out, and goes to sit with Allison.

*****

Erica and Boyd are running through the forest, still healing from all their wounds. They’re suddenly surrounded by an entire other pack of werewolves.

*****

The next day, Dr Deaton is examining the blood and goo trail left by Gerard outside the warehouse. He’s accompanied by Ms Morrell, who seems to know exactly what he’s doing. She laughs at him, asking if he plans on actually getting his hands dirty for a change. When he says he’ll do what he has to, she says that she never liked him being retired anyway.

*****

Derek, Peter, and Isaac return to the Hale house, and Peter sighs dramatically before accusing Derek of not having told Isaac everything yet. Isaac wants to know what’s going on, and Peter asks him why he thinks Derek was so eager to expand his pack and his power – it’s because when there’s a new Alpha, people take notice. There’s a symbol on the front door, and it means that an entire pack of Alphas has them in their sights. They’re not on their way to Beacon Hills, though – they’re already there.

*****

Stiles and Scott pull up to the lacrosse field for some bro time – Scott has promised that he’s going to help Stiles make team captain in Scott’s place. Standing in the goal, Scott realizes that he’s right back where he started – no lacrosse captaincy, no popularity, no girlfriend. Stiles huffily points out that Scott still has him, which is of course the best thing ever, and Scott says that he had Stiles before. Stiles gives him a tiny stinkeye and says that Scott STILL has him, so there.

They get down to the business of lacrosse practice, and Stiles reminds Scott that they agreed he wouldn’t use any of his superwolfy powers, but Scott really can’t contain himself after all.

scott mccall you tricksy bastard

scott mccall you tricksy bastard

(locker room gifset source here)

(sassy laptop Peter gifset source here)

(kanima animation gifset source here)

(nakey werejackson gif source here)

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10 responses to “Teen Wolf – 2.12 – Master Plan

  1. Oh Jackson. Ahahahahahahahahaha

  2. It’s not wrong that I wanted to kick Allison in the face all through the last few episodes, is it? And honestly, I still kinda want to kick her in the face. Yeah, I know, she’s an impressionable teenager who was creepily brainwashed by her horrid grandfather, but still. She was AWFUL. Just awful. I’ll be curious to see what happens to her in season 3. (there is a season 3, right???)
    Oh my poor baby Stiles!!! I just wanted to snuggle him and pet his head, preferably while that head is cradled against my breasts…if that’s wrong I don’t want to be right… Poor guy deserves to have something amazingly kick-ass awesome happen to/for him.
    Peter Hale is something else. I don’t even care that he was kinda evil last season, he is so gd HOT that it honestly trumps everything else. I drooled, I may have even whimpered. I regret nothing.
    Scott? Dude? I never thought I would say this, but good job! I never knew ya had it in you! I’m impressed.
    This was, overall, a great season finale. I unashamedly adore this show, so I really hope there is a season 3 happening! Loved all of your recaps as well!!!

    • I AM SO MAD AT ALLISON OMG.

      I just want Peter Hale to be my vampire bride, I don’t think that’s so much to ask of the universe.

    • I… think I am one of the few people who still hold out hope for Allison. I didn’t realize it until I watched the whole first season in order, but her driving force is “I don’t want to be weak.” I think she says something to that effect in every ep. If she can figure out a system (say, run the idea through Scott and if he makes the why-would-anyone-be-so-mean puppyface then rethink it) where she could be both strong and good.

      THEY ARE CURRENTLY FILMING SEASON 3. AND WE GET LIKE 22 EPISODES.

  3. Bless Hoechlin for pursuing acting instead of baseball (after turning down Twilight of course). Can you imagine him in a baseball uniform? Covered up ALL THE TIME. :(

    Thank you for doing these recaps!!! You are awesome. :)

    I am looking forward to the season 2 DVDs (hopefully the commentary is as entertaining as it is on the first season).

  4. Liz, your Spartacus reviews remain my absolute favorite for that show, so it was an awesome surprise to see you also reviewed this one! Any chance you’ll be reviewing the current season? As usual, your tags are hilarious. “THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF STEREK” indeed. Hah!

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