Game of Thrones 3.2 – Dark Wings, Dark Words

Gendry, Arya and Cartman go for a walk in the woods. I would like to lodge a complaint at the complete lack of shirtless Gendry.

Gendry, Arya, and Cartman go for a walk in the woods. I would like to lodge a complaint at the complete lack of shirtless Gendry.

Previously on Game of Thrones: The Kingslayer flirt/fights with Brienne. Bran can’t walk and regularly gets The Shine. Jon is miserable and longs for a cuddle. Arya is the sassiest 12-year-old girl with a sword in all the land. Margaery werqs it and King Weaselteat continues to be the worst. On with this week’s episode!

(Regular reminder that I am NOT a book reader, which means that if it hasn’t aired on HBO, I don’t know it. Also: the show isn’t the same as the books in regards to character, spelling, etc. in some cases. So…who’s got two thumbs and is not a book reader? This gal!)

 

Bran is running through the woods and hold up a minute. Bran is running? But—no time for buts! His eyebrows are intense as he scans the skies, taking it all in and HOSHIT RAVEN GAH! It’s the three-eyed raven of evil portent! Naturally, Bran’s instinct is to shoot it with an arrow [hey-o, symbolism!]. Jon and Robb magically appear by his side to help him out, but they’re terrible instructors because Bran misses. Ned Stark Mufasas from the trees (or is it that he Obi Wans? “So was I…if you remember.”) when HOSHIT SOMEONE WE DON’T KNOW appears.

Medieval Billy Elliot materializes out of the trees and tells Bran that of course he can’t hit the raven. Bran is the raven, the raven is Bran. You can’t kill symbolism, buddy. But sometimes a raven is just a rave— NO. IT IS ALWAYS A MESSAGE. Of doom!

He wakes from his dream to find Hodor (M-O-O-N, that spells Hodor!) worried. Tonks checks in to make sure Bran didn’t dream the future or something, and since it had nothing to do with Wildlings or Winter, she ain’t interested. So it’s time for them to be on the move because Winter is Coming. Eventually. At Some Point. Winter Will Show Up, She Promises You, And Then You’ll See. You’ll All See!

Robb and his new wife have a romantic moment in front of a fire when they’re suddenly interrupted by WAR, ROBB, did you forget you were at WAR? I mean, yeah, Talisa rocks a braid, but you are the leader of an army in a huge WAR. Ahem. Lord Bolton busts up their “No, you have the cutest smile!” moment to deliver some news. And none of it is good. Winterfell? Yeah, burned to the ground. Riverrun? Dead grandpa.

Robb gets the rotten job of informing his mother all of this. So now Cate has only one child that she knows is alive, and he’s got her in irons. Things aren’t looking so good for Lady Cate. Robb wonders if maybe Bran and Rickon are being held by Theon Greyjoy?

Nope! Theon is currently being tortured for some unknown reason (not true: it’s because he is a complete and utter wonk. If he was more cruel or had actual power, he’d be Joffrey). A mysterious someone lurks nearby, not saying anything until:

Torturer: Got a splinter under that nail?
Theon: Uh…no?
Torturer: LOOK AGAIN! *dirk stab oh my god HOOOARK*

THAT"S NOT A TOOL FOR HANGNAILS!  What kind of  spa is this?!

THAT’S NOT A TOOL FOR HANGNAILS! What kind of spa is this?!

Brienne and Jaime Lannister (Hooray! I love Brienne!) take a nature walk (they’re traveling to King’s Landing to make a trade, hence why Lady Cate is in irons). He wants to chat, and I think he actually likes her, but she’s sticking to her plan. Here’s what I love about these two: Jaime can clearly see that she’s an amazing warrior. But she has an idealized idea of what it is to be a Kingsguard. She’s very Camelot, while he’s all Borgias. He’s been there, he’s seen the corruption, and he’s still alive while many of his colleagues are not.

And I think he wants to make her better, knock some of that fundamentalism out of her. So he needles her and tests her, trying to get her to loosen up and be a bit more cunning. We know what happens to people who hold on to their honor: Ned on a Pike.

He needles her about Renly, thinking she had a crush on him, which throws her into a rage. (I have no idea how to interpret that, other than it seems “dishonorable” to have such thoughts about your King? In her mind?) and Jaime’s response is to say, “I don’t blame you, either. We don’t get to choose who we love.”

SORRY ABOUT YOUR SISTER, BRO, BUT HAVE YOU TRIED THE STARK? I’m just saying, Sansa is all unattached.

A dude rolls up on them looking all innocent and kind, which immediately calms Brienne. She sends him on his way. After all, he did send them Seven Blessings! Jaime wants her to go kill him, because he’ll tell someone he saw them. Pshht.  Nah. That guy? She moves him along and Jaime starts thinking of a solid plan because maybe she can’t lose that whole honor thing after all.

The lesser Lannister (King Weaselteat) is getting a new coat while Mummy sits and admires his fine, fine form. Um, he has had sex now, Mummy, so he doesn’t need her to help dress him in his kingly Garanimals, thanks ever so. She just wants to know what he thinks about Margeary, and I love that she’s testing his intelligence. (That’ll be a short test.) What does he think about her dressing like a whore and being nice to…the poor (spits).

Joffrey tells her to shut the hell up and make him a chicken pot pie, because he’s got this, MOM. The court clothier comes back with something from Prince’s Raspberry Beret days, which is far closer to Weaselteat’s liking. Cersei, you have no one to blame but yourself for that unholy monster.

Sansa tells Shae about Littlefinger (“It’s not that little!”) just wanting to help, because she’s still a very young girl. A young girl who was raised by Ned Stark. She’s no Margarery Tyrell. Sansa finds it hilarious to think an older man would ever be attracted to a young, nubile lady! Gross! Who does that? Oh my! Looks like Shae is going to have to do the looking out for her, then.

Ser Loras arrives to take Sansa on a walk to meet his grandmother, and Sansa is all aflutter. That is the type of gallant knight she believed she’d end up with! (Honey, you need to grow some gaydar, bless. Jon is way more his type.) He takes her to Margaery and the Lady Olenna, who is Sophia of the Golden Girls, sassy.

“Picture it: Westeros, 240AL!” (Somewhere one of you readers is laughing.)

Olenna is sassy as hell over tea cakes and lady chats. She gets straight to it: So?  Joffrey? Sporting a pud? Needle D? Into creepy stuff? I need to know for my granddaughter!

Sansa just can't believe anyone is asking her for her opinion.

Sansa just can’t believe anyone is asking her for her opinion.

Sansa is terrified, because this could be a set up. (YES, SANSA. IT COULD BE.) Finally, she blurts out that Joffrey is a monster, that he’s the type who cuts off your father’s head and makes you look at it. Also, he leaves his dirty socks on the floor, and the hamper is right fucking there, oh my god.

Lady Olenna sighs. “Huh. Well, that’s a pity.” Margaery rolls her eyes and adjusts her sails, because this is a lady who grew up learning how to play the game.

Robb’s men are now on the move to Riverrun to attend Cate’s father’s funeral. Because that’s a good diversion during war. ROBB YOU ARE AT WAR. Lord Karstark is on my side here, and knows they don’t even have enough men to fight.  Everything went to shit when Robb married Talisa. He was supposed to marry one of Argus Filch’s daughters (Frey) and now look at what he’s done. Day trips to Riverrun instead of overthrowing the Lannisters.

Cate makes another of her shitty dream catchers/God’s Eye thingies when Talisa tries to get her mother-in-law to warm up to her. Well, that’s not  going to work, Talisa, because Cate is as cold as the Winter that is coming. One day. And why? Because she knows everything is her fault. Ned came back with a baby, and she made a promise to take that baby as her own, give it their name, and love it. And she didn’t. Guess who that baby was? Jon Snow. And because she didn’t follow through on her promise, the Gods are punishing them.

Wow, thinking pretty highly of yourself and your own importance, Cate! Maybe send a care package to Jon at the Wall? Some extra socks? Cookies? Oh, right, you couldn’t bear to look at him seventeen years later. Bitter, bitter woman.

Speaking of, Jon—now kitted out in Wildling gear—is getting a personal tour with Mance Rayder. Know what it took for Mance to unite 90 clans that speak seven languages? The truth: move South with me, or die. They pass by some dude who is snow blind, staring up at a bird. No, he’s not blind, he’s working his Shine, seeing what the bird has seen. He’s a Warg, and it’s super helpful to have one as a scout.

The guy snaps out of his trance (or whatever) and immediately asks Jon if he’s Ned Stark’s bastard. “COME ON,” Jon whines. The twitchy-ass Warg then tells them that he saw something: dead crows. Wait, no: dead Crows. Oho!

RED LEADER PORKINS, DID HE SEE YOU?  Yep! Porkins is about to give up because let’s face it: he’s no soldier. He’s Gomer Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, unable to get up over that wall, and he is in. A world. Of shit. An older Watch dude tries to convince him to curl up in a snowbank and be done with it, when Porkins’ old buddies tell him to keep going. Lord Mormont has had enough of this horse shit and tells older guy that he’s now in charge of Porkins. Either Porkins makes it or they both die. Either way, it’s a win for Mormont by losing an asshole and a weakling, or turning things around. Now move!

(Side note: what animal do those cloaks come from? Bears? We’ve not seen anything other than Direwolves that are large. Eh, just curious.)

Are they going to be boyfriends?  Or just boy friends?  It was hard to tell.

Are they going to be boyfriends? Or just boy friends? It was hard to tell.

Bran wakes up from another nap (Seriously, dude? Why are you so sleepy all the time?) and sees Summer (his Direwolf) and Tonks bowed up and ready to fight. Something is in the woods…  HOSHIT Billy Elliot! Tonks gets him with her spear and dares him to dance his way out of this when Billy’s sister shows up and holds Tonks at knife point. Who’s dancing now? Well, no one. And Bran’s legs don’t work, so that is just rude.

Turns out that even the Direwolf likes Billy, but he’s not Billy, he’s Jojen Reed and he’s been looking for Bran for some time. What. Yep, he and his sister Meera have been looking for them, and they have further mystical travels to go…

Gendry, Arya, and Cartman wander through the countryside on their way to safety when Gendry brings up the point that everyone in fandom asked: if Jaqen H’gar was going to kill whatever three people Arya named, why the hell didn’t she say Weaselteat or Tywin Lannister? This war could be over! Um, a girl doesn’t have to explain herself to a blacksmith, Gendry.

Before they can get into this, a group of traveling…bandits? Singers? Ne’er-do-wells? comes upon them. Arya tries to be brave, but she’s still a young girl. And she’s up against Thoros of Myr (I assume this will mean something some day) and his Brotherhood Without Banners. They’re like Doctors without Borders, but they take lives, they don’t save them. OR SOMETHING. We don’t really know much more than that their archer is hilariously saucy and they all could use a face wash. Our group has no choice but to go with them.

Tyrion has been allowed back into his royal chambers, it seems, and finds Shae there. SHAE! What has he told you about his father wanting you dead if you show up there? Eh, she had to see him to give him intel on Baelish and Roz’s warning. Look, he has a job to do, and so does she… and okay, so that job is down there involving suction? Good work, m’lady. Fine…fine! hogod work, hnnng. (I like how articulate he is.)

(Important take away: Tyrion says Sansa has been “released” by the Lannisters, which evidently doesn’t mean they’re going to kill her. So…she’s free to move around the cabin? Huh. I’d still be watching my back if I were her.)

Margaery goes to see Joffrey and pretend she’s worthy of his douchebaggery. But never underestimate a Weaselteat, because he threatens her right off the bat about her having been married to a traitor. Watching her plan her attack on the fly is a thing of beauty, however. She immediately pulls out the “but he was gay” card. She even tosses out that Renly wanted to be her backdoor lover, but that sounded so painful, and now you have Joffrey’s interest.

Is that a bolt in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Is that a bolt in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

He starts stroking his crossbow in a significant manner, she asks to handle it (hey now!), and he allows her to hold it in both hands. He does the stand behind her to be sexy thing where she pretends that he has “a kingly bolt, m’lud” and asks him if he’d like to see her kill something. Well, now you’re just playing dirty and he likes it.

Hilarious shot: Joffrey holding his crossbow at crotch level and getting accuracy.  THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. Mostly he just likes that she might be a dirty birdie, too.

Speaking of pain, Greyjoy is getting the cranks (are his feet being crushed? I couldn’t figure out what the crank was for) as his torturer asks him to “Give us the truth.”

Greyjoy: Fine! OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my captor Ned’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was the Storm God in my Iron Islands School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Yara down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my dad sent me to Winterfell and then they served lunch, I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out… But the worst thing I ever done—I burned alive two little boys that I treated like brothers for most of their lives and I burned down their house and everyone they loved and I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa. I never felt so bad in my entire life!

Torturer: Jesus.

Greyjoy: [sobbing] And I did it to bring honor to my dad? Or something? Mostly I just really hate the Starks.

Someone comes in after the torturer leaves and removes the bag from Theon’s face. “I’ll come for you later tonight. Meanwhile, try and keep your chin up, old boy!”

The bag is put back on Theon’s head, and he goes all Catherine Martin after Clarice tells her to shut that dog up. “Don’t leave me down here, you bitch! This guy’s fucking crazy!” Hey. They’re coming back, Theon, chill.

Bran chats with Jojen as they walk and learns that he’s a Warg. (How convenient that we learned about those earlier!) Bran isn’t just seeing portents or dreams, he’s seeing things as they happen. Well, some times. Other times he’s getting portents, but that’s when it’s through the three-eyed raven? There’s more to learn here. Look, if you smell oranges and burnt toast, that’s The Shine. Jojen sees it, too. And he’s been seeing Bran for some time. (Oho!)

Tonks and Meera sneer at each other, mostly because Tonks thinks it’s pathetic that Meera is the muscle. It should be the boy! Meera goes, “Keep your gender norms off my body, bitch!” and Tonks can’t really argue with that, seeing as Meera totally bested her.

The Brotherhood is getting their drink on, and turns out? They’re total dudes. They feed Arya and the guys, swap stories, and Arya lets slip that she’s good with a sword. Um, Thoros knocks her sword out of her hand before she can get in position so…maybe she’s not so much with the awesome swordsmanship just yet.  He does let them go, however, and as they move to the exit, more soldiers come in with a huge prisoner, a mountain of a man. No, that’s not The Mountain, that’s The Hound. And shit, he recognizes Arya and calls her the Stark Bitch. Ruh roh!

Brienne and Jaime come to a bridge, and which path will she take? The visible one over the water, or the dangerous one through the water? Jaime is delighted by her deep thinking. She takes the bridge. And he fakes being tired in order to get a sword off her and free himself. Ha ha! If he wasn’t shackled and half-starved, I think he could easily take her here. Also, she won’t attempt to kill him because she’s still stuck on honor whereas he is all about keeping alive. But ultimately she’s the better man (hurr) and gets him on his knees in the end (he’s actually proud of her and her skills, and I just love them both, okay?) but it’s right when a group comes upon them.

And would you look at that, it’s the man from earlier who totally turned them in, Brienne. Jaime gives her the sauciest “I told you so!” look ever. And not even Lannister gold will get them out of this, because the leader of the new group is far more interested in keeping his head, thanks, Kingslayer.

Look!  He's protecting her!  I just love them both, okay?

Look! He’s protecting her! I just love them both, okay?

Well. Shit.

WHAT IS HAPPEN? I have a twenty that Jaime does something sneaky to get free and takes Brienne with him. (And remember that we’re spoiler free for future episodes, please!)

CLICK TO CONTINUE ON TO 3.3!

Please like & share:
  • Colleen

    LOVED the recap, Laura! You are a riot!
    My personal favorite moment was when Shae got all hooker jealous that Tyrion had hooked up with Roz and that he thought Sansa was pretty.
    Can’t wait to read next week’s!

    • Thanks, Colleen!

      Oh, Shae was TOTES jelly about Tyrion having looked at any other woman. His stammering about how “objectively” they’re attractive but he’s with her, so… Shae doesn’t care! :)

  • Sally R

    I loved the Brienne/Jaime interaction this week. My only worry for the future is that Cersei won’t be quite so fond of her as Jaime is.

    Found myself laughing so much this week – Lady Olenna was cracking me up, Shae and Tyrion, Brienne and Jaime, and even Mormont making older guy responsible for Porkins made me laugh.

    I was suprised when the episode was over. It just flew by this week and I needed more. What will happen to my Arya? I need answers now.

    • Oh, Cersei won’t like Brienne at all, is my thought. Wait. Brienne isn’t a threat, so maybe she’ll like having a woman around that isn’t trying to oust her. TIME WILL TELL.

      Lady Olenna – what a breath of fresh air! I love it. And when we first met Margaery, I had no idea what to think of her. Simpering pretty girl. And that’s the game she plays, WHICH IS DELIGHTFUL. No wonder Cersei is nervous.

      Seriously, how was all of this an hour?? It positively flies by. I’m literally shocked every week when the episode ends.

  • I started chuckling at “Medieval billy Elliot.”

    • Hahahaha. HE JUST WANTS TO DANCE, PAPA!

      Or, you know. Cross the globe to find his dream friend, either or!

  • Gail

    Diana Rigg’s Olenna is the grandma I always wish I had! Aaaah. (Incidentally, I am the reader who laughed. Golden Girls ftw!)

    I can’t bring myself to really like or feel anything for tv!Cat. I feel like I should have been more sympathetic after her scene with Talisa, but like you my reaction was more “wow, lady, a bit self-important there.”

    That picture of Jaime and Brienne at the end! Aahhh! *heartsheartshearts*

    • Olenna was such a great character, and I hope she sticks around. Sassy women are my favorite. (Hahaha, from this point on, Gail, I shall call you Kitten.)

      I really liked Cate in Season 2 when she basically girded her loins and went after her family, and I admire that she’s upfront about feeling badly for not taking Jon in under her wing, but it’s like…eighteen years, lady? Still? You’re still pissed? Let it GO.

      JAIME PUTS HIMSELF IN FRONT OF HIS CAPTOR TO SAVE HER! I mean, how am I not supposed to melt over that? Not to mention that I freaking love Jaime Lannister.

      • Gail

        Oh, Maaaa. ;)

        The casting in this season is making me preeetty darn happy! I mean omg, emmereffing Diana Rigg <3 <3 <3 And she's perfect! Yessss. Also Jojen Reed, ahaha. He's the kid from Love Actually and Nanny McPhee and it tickles me that he basically looks the same, to the point where the grown-up voice genuinely startled me when he started speaking.

        The show keeps doing things with Cat's character and I guess it kind of miffs me? Book!Cat is much more politically minded and she would NEVER have been willing even for a moment to legitimize Jon. Half the reason why she's offended at his existence is that she sees him as a threat to her trueborn children. So I spent a good while going o_O? at that scene. /bookfanwank

        (Although I gotta say, this stuff happening to you isn't because you couldn't love Jon. It's more a direct result of taking Tyrion prisoner because you took the word of a slimy slimy dude no one else in their right mind trusts. Perhaps Stark Bad Decisionitis is a communicable disease? An STI?)

        Jaaaamieeeee! If they spent a whole episode on him and Brienne having adventures down the Kingsroad (and off it) I can't say I'd be unhappy. I love them both too much.

        • LOVE ACTUALLY, THAT IS IT! I couldn’t for the life of me remember which movie this morning, then I had to race out the door before I could search imdb. He looks TOTALLY the same, absolutely.

          Jaime and Brienne: one’s a knight, the other a knave! [/tag line for their spinoff sitcom.] I would very much like to have Jaime in every single episode, I must admit. All of the Lannisters, actually. They’re all so deliciously awful (in the best of ways).

  • Katy

    I have been waiting for Lady Olenna to show up and I was not disappointed. She is one of my favorites from book three. Add to that the fact she’s played by the AWESOME Dianna Rigg and I am in heaven.

    I am loving every second of this season so far and I can’t wait for the rest.

    • I’m so glad she’s someone in the books that is loved (for whatever reason) and fans are excited! I found her hilariously rotten in the way that only an old spinster with power can be.

      This season is knocking it out of the park for me, without question. Even though these first episodes are all mostly setting the stage, it’s such a WONDERFUL stage. <3

  • cowshark

    Jaime so has a crush on Brienne. He’s using classic 3rd grade boy tactics to flirt with her. If she had pigtails, he’d be pulling on them.

    Also, Laura, the reason why she got so pissed when he was teasing her about loving Renly was because he kept talking about how Renly was gay, and like most women with hopeless crushes on gay men, she refused to believe it. Hence his comment about not choosing who you love.

    • Hey there! I’m surprised Jaime hasn’t tried to trip her (if only to catch her!).

      And you could be right! I think they’ve made such a point about her trying to always be the best (read: most honor-bound) knight possible, so to slander (or be ugly about) her King is practically treason. But it also very well could be that she was hopelessly in love with Renly! And now with Jaime. :D

  • Laura Rezko

    Another awesome episode and review!

    Lady Olenna rocks my socks. I always have a soft spot for sassy old women on shows, especially ones that want their cheese RIGHT NOW. The Golden Girls reference was priceless, but got me thinking. If she’s Sophia, then who’s Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose?

    I like Jojen and Meera Reed! I recognized the actor from the Doctor Who “Human Nature/ Family of Blood” episodes and gave a little yip of excitement when he appeared. And then I felt a little dirty because I found him kind of attractive and thought he was around 15 or something- but it turns out he’s 23! Say whattttttt.

    Margaery, Tyrion, Shae, Arya, Brienne, and Jaime are all awesome, too. Gendry was hot, Joffrey a douche, and the only thing that could have been added to the episode would be one sultry, “Khaleesi” carried down on the wind.

    • Oh, Margaery is DEFINITELY Blanche, don’t you think? Sansa would be Rose (lol) and Cersei’s Dorothy. :D Sassy, snappy old ladies who demand their cheese and cakes from beautiful young men! It’s all I aspire to be one day.

      Oooh, Jojen was in Dr. Who, eh? Gail (points above) pointed out that he’s the little boy in Love, Actually. I could NOT remember where I’d seen him. (He’s 23? Oh, that’s a relief. NOT THAT I’M PERVING ON HIM, just… Okay. I’m a bad, dirty lady.) [hangs head in shame]

      I feel bereft without my sexy “Khaleesi,” I have to say. I even got extra birth control, because his voice is so sexy it might get me pregnant. (I’m a terrible, terrible person.)

      • Laura Rezko

        Hell, I feel like a bad, dirty old lady, too- and I’m only six years older than him!

        I thought Cersei would be Blanche at first(just based upon the fact she’s slept with more men on the show), but I think your arrangement is better. :) I also get a kick out of that because that would make Jaime Stan. Someone needs to write that Golden Girls/Game of Thrones fic(hem hem*stares pointedly at you*).

        • HAHAHAHA, YEP. Jaime as Stan cracks me up to no end. (I like Margaery as Blanche for the southern belle/swanning qualities.) Lol.

          OMG, that is a fanfic that is way beyond me, but I would read the HELL out of it.

  • Jay

    “Look, if you smell oranges and burnt toast, that’s The Shine.”

    That’s when my laugh became a wheeze.

    • AWESOME! Oh, it’s good to know you laughed with me. Thanks, Jay! Glad you enjoyed this week’s recap.

  • Lady Olenna is the Game of Thrones homage to Maggie Smith.

    And Laura Stone is my spirit animal, guiding me through this season. [I love you, dude!]

    • She totally is! I immediately went to Jackie Burroughs (the spinster widow from Anne of Green Gables that said, “When I say drrrrrenched, I mean duh-rrrrrenched!”). Basically I have a love for sassy old ladies, be they widows or spinsters. AND BRING THEM THEIR CHEESE, YOUNG MAN!

      [I love you, too!] <3

  • I have that same weakness for sassy old ladies! They get me every single time.

    I have to say, though, that Lady Olenna seems to have a couple of things up her sleeve. You don’t live to that ripe old age without some wiles.

    • “You don’t live to that ripe old age without some wiles.” TRUTH. And she’s clearly passing on everything she knows to her granddaughter, is my guess. Margaery is one cunning lass.

  • Aaron L

    Ogre: What if uh C-A-T really spelled Hodor?
    Poindexter: That’s heavy Ogre.

    Billy Elliot !!! HAHAHAHA

    Great Reccap once again Laura

    Margaery is becoming one of my favorite characters on the show whom I really didnt care much about in the books(not that i didnt like her) shes just killing it on screen. To see her manipulate, use her sexiness, and most of all Play The Game is Awesome!!! Just that suttle role of the eyes she gives after Sansa talks about your favorite, King Weaselteat , it was so, nonchalant, but pricesless.

    Man I feel bad for you husband this season… Dont torture him too much ;-)
    SOOOO much more to come. Cant wait for your reactions..

    • Hey, Aaron!

      I tell you what, this love for Margaery has come completely out of the blue. And it’s HUGE. HUGE, I tell you! I love when I think someone (or something) is a certain way, and then I am completely floored by where it goes, or how they end up responding. There’s nothing worse than predictability, and that’s something they have most definitely avoided on the show, in my (un-read) opinion.

      If my excitement is already this high for the exposition episodes, I worry about my husband’s eardrums for future episodes. As it is, I already watch each week with a hand clamped over his mouth and a wall of pillows blocking his face so I don’t see any of his reactions. Looks like I need to continue that? (Or lock him in a containment unit? Hmm, I’ll take your advice into serious consideration, A. Lock him up, it is.) :D

  • Lisa

    Loved Lady O, and I laughed at your Sophie reference. I want to see Cersei deal with her, because that would be something.

    I do think Brienne told Catelyn that she loved Renly. I could be imagining it, but I thought she did. Jamie so has a crush on her but he doesn’t even know it. Silly boys.

    It was nice to see Sansa have just one moment to express her Joffrey hate.

    I continue to love Arya and her crew. Speaking of ladies I love Maegaery, I mean love, her. That girl has game for days. That moment after Joff says he should make Renly’s perversion punishable by death, just that look in her eye for the barest second, that look said King Jerkface’s days are numbered. She may be the most dangerous woman in Westeros.

    • Margaery’s not going to let her brother be killed, not by the likes of Weaselteat, that’s for sure. That’s when she knew she needed to up her game a touch just to dominate the court with that fool. UGH, Weaselteat is truly the worst. Margaery? Not by a long shot, and ditto for her grandmother. I am very much looking forward to how this season will play out with this path the game is taking!

  • Aaron L

    LMAO !!!! I can only imagine the looks he gives when he knows something is coming. Staring at you instead of the tv only lets you know something BIG must be coming :D
    Pillows, Containment unit !! HAHAHA Poor poor man..

    Its amazing how some of my absolute favorite characters from the book arent as important to me in the show ( like I said, not that I dont like them now. Its just Im not as passionate about them like I was when I read them) , but in the show I have some Favorite characters that I didnt much care about in the book. Just shows how well the acting they are doing. Margaery by far takes the cake though..

    • One thing I really appreciate about you (and a few other book readers that routinely drop by) is that you can appreciate that a screenplay and a novel are two separate beasts. of course they’re different from each other, because you don’t have blocks of exposition, your own interpretation of imagery, etc., and when someone such as yourself can appreciate that and not let it take away from your love of the books, it makes me so happy. :)

      Margaery! I keep looking at the gifset on Tumblr of her rolling her eyes and the “Oh, well” facial expression after Sansa’s outburst. Hilarious.

  • Beth

    Golden Girls.
    Cartman.
    The Goonies.
    Full Metal Jacket.

    I laugh with my entire diaphragm!

    Also, true story, I was so happy to see The Hound that I shouted in glee! I heart him lots, and I also heart Brienne and Jamie. I could watch that banter all day long.

    • I almost want to post podcasts just to do all of the voices, Beth. It’s a sickness.

      I really love The Hound, too. He and Sansa were such an interesting set last season, it’ll be REALLY interesting to see how he interacts with Arya. Couldn’t be more different from her sister.

      I seriously want a spin off with Brienne and Jaime as a remake of The Odd Couple, but in medieval/fantasy times. And Theon is their shitty neighbor that always borrows stuff and has a tag line like, “Nuh uh, you guys!” [audience laughs] And then Jaime kills him. Hooray!

      Brienne: “I’m not cleaning that up!” [Audience ooohs]

  • Maxwell James

    Look, if you smell oranges and burnt toast, that’s The Shine. Jojen sees it, too. And he’s been seeing Bran for some time. (Oho!)

    LOL. Just saw that movie again last week – brrr… has there ever been a more wintry film than that one?

    Seriously, Bran had better go easy on Hodor as they head up that hill. Because ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES HODOR HODOR HODOR.

    and the Lady Olenna, who is Sophia of the Golden Girls

    OK, that totally made my afternoon.

    • That movie is one of my FAVORITES. Oh, is it wonderfully creepy. That final chase through the hedges makes me shiver just THINKING about it.

      Bran needs to be given thin gruel to keep from growing. Hodor can’t spend his days hodoring that hodor up the hodor, come on!

      We broke down the other Golden Girls in another comment:
      Olenna: Sophia
      Sansa: Rose (hahahaha) Instead of talking of St. Olaf, it’s all Winterfell
      Cersei: Dorothy :D

      So glad you laughed, Maxwell! <3

  • Sandrine M

    Great recap! Still laughing about Ned Stark Musafaing from the trees. Because there was no Jorah this week, I have included a link that will make up for it. You’re welcome.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yca1HbizssY

    • HAHAHAHA! Oh, you are so lovely to make sure I get my recommended USDA serving of Jorah Mormont!! <3 :D

  • Athena

    Am I the only not feeling this Robb/Talisa pairing? I keep trying to like them but I everytime I cringe and just fast forward their scenes. I wonder how Robb is gonna react when he meets Roslin Frey. I know I’m getting a bit ahead of myself but I want him to react like ”damn maybe I should not have rushed to marry Talisa, Roslin is cute” and did my eyes deceive me or when Karstark as you said told him that the war went to shit when he married Talisa Robb actually showed a fraction of regret to his hasty marriage?

    • I liked Robb and Talisa last season – she was sassy and tough, which is how I like my ladies. They just haven’t had anything interesting this season yet. Then again, we’re only in two eps deep, so here’s to hoping that gets better.

      AND- SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER – WHO IS THIS FREY PERSON YOU MENTION? D: No spoilers, please! (And that was rhetorical – I don’t want to know ANYTHING coming ahead; I want to watch it happen.)

  • Athena

    It’s not really a spoiler when it’s been out there for months that the role of this girl has been cast but sorry if I ruined it for you…will not happen again!!!

    • I don’t pay attention to spoilers – as in, casting news, etc. I haven’t read the books so it’s all new every week. You are a CHAMP and a PAL for understanding! THANK YOU. (I have LOTS of folks who rely on this site to be their spoiler-free place, too, so I get mama-protective.) <3

  • Athena

    But was it just me when karstark made that remark about talisa that robb actually looked a bit regretful of his decision

    • I’m going to have to watch it again to see – I got that he was a little sheepish, like “Whoops! Me and my girl are being goo goo eyed!”

  • Athena

    Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part like he rushed to marry her because he believed the other one would be ugly. I just want him to show some regret and have him think ”you know maybe I should have waited”. Talisa is just so bland to me everytime they try to make her a big character i just fasf forward through any scenes with her, I just do not believe anything she has to say