Previously on Orphan Black: Sarah buries the dead German twin Katja and then impersonates her. She’s also still impersonating dead twin Beth. Sarah finds another twin named Alison and she’s a big meanie. Then Sarah finds another twin named Kasima. Sarah is totes confused.
Sarah is talking to Alison and Kasima in Alison’s tastefully decorated living room. She has no idea what’s going on and wants to know how they’re all related. Alison scoffs at her stupidity. Geeze Alison, she’s just trying to catch up here. Kasima’s doing her best to explain things but Alison is wound up as tight as ever and only wants the German’s briefcase and Sarah gone. Sarah’s all, eff you guys I’m not giving you shit until you give me answers.
This makes Alison snap and she yells that they’re all clones! They’re someone’s experiment and someone’s trying to kill them off. Sarah looks stunned and I just have to say that Tatiana Maslany is really amazing in this scene. She’s not simply playing a good twin/bad twin part, she’s being three completely different people. Some actors have the same expressions for every role they play but Tatiana’s Alison, Sarah and Kasima don’t make one look that’s the same. This includes the brief role of Katja the German and Dead Beth. When they show those photos of Beth I see only Beth. This isn’t SMG playing twins Siobhan and Bridget where in some scenes you weren’t 100% sure who was who in the beginning of a scene. (No disrespect to SMG; I love her. She’s forever my girl. No one could’ve been Buffy like she was. P.S. Buffy & Spike 4eva!)
Alright, back to the show: Felix gets tired of waiting in the car where Sarah hilariously left him as ‘back up’ and sneaks up to the house to peek into the window. Alison notices and runs outside to threaten him with her handy gun. Felix is terrified. Poor Felix. Sarah runs over and steps between them, telling her that Felix is with her. Alison still wants to shoot Felix but finally relents and lowers the gun. Sarah rewards her with a huge slap to her face for pointing a gun at her brother. Alison looks scared and runs into the house.
Kasima is unfazed and introduces herself to Felix. She says they need to trade answers for that briefcase. Sarah and Felix leave. Well. That was the most awkward way to find out you’re a clone, right?
Sarah and Felix argue in his loft. Felix is freaked out, saying that the last time he checked cloning was both illegal and impossible. He says Sarah can’t just ignore this as two of the clones are dead. He counts papers in the briefcase and comes up with eight clones in total. Sarah insists that all she wants is the stupid detective job back and the stupid money back from stupid Dead Beth’s stupid partner Stupid Art and get Kira (not stupid) and get out of this stupid town and away from all these stupid clones.
The next morning Sarah goes into the station to work on Art and get that money. Art stands firm and is all, no way, not till you’re reinstated. The chief calls them into his office and guess what? She’s reinstated, officially, and is back at work ASAP. Which means now. Here’s your gun and holster, out you go on a ’10-45′.
Sarah excuses herself and runs off to the lady’s room. Instead of panicking and drinking another container of liquid soap she struggles manfully with slipping on the hostler properly. A policewoman comes over to wash her hands and asks, “Do you want a hand with that?” Sarah is completely serious when she answers, “Yeah, do you mind?” all hopeful-like. The policewoman scoffs at what she perceives as Sarah being sarcastic and leaves. Sarah is disappoint. She decides she has it on as good as it’s gonna get and sticks her reloads in her back pocket and none in her actual gun.
Sarah and Art drive to the scene of the 10-45 where Sarah discovers 10-45 doesn’t stand for something easy like jaywalking or ice-cream run. No, it’s a murder scene. Oh, and it just happens to be the same place Sarah recently buried the dead German Katja. Oh, yeah, and the body just happens to be the dead German Katja. YOINKS.
The body’s chewed up in a huge piece of machinery in a massive excavated area. Art asks Sarah what she thinks and she ruefully answers that she thinks some idiot didn’t realize they were burying a body next to an active quarry.
One of the investigators pulls up an arm and Sarah tries not to barf as she asks if they’ve gotten any fingerprints. They haven’t yet but hope that they do as reconstructing the face is going to be pretty tough. Sarah takes off to make a call to Kasima to ask if their fingerprints are close enough to get a match. Kasima confirms that their fingerprints are indeed. She says they’d have to pullup Interpol to find dead German Katja, which they won’t do, so they’re fine unless on of the clones has a record here. Sarah gets all shifty-eyed which Kasima can see all the way over the phone and asks her if she has a record. Just petty fraud…assault…whatever, geeze. Kasima says she’ll help Sarah if she brings her the briefcase.
After they leave the crime scene Sarah tries to get Art to hand over the money but instead he asks to see her gun. Sarah twists and contorts and finally gets it out of her holster in the most inept manner possible. Art looks and sees it isn’t even loaded. Oops. This really pisses him off and he puts her on desk duty only. Sarah beats a dead horse and tries to bring up the money again and Art does his very best scolding mother act and tells her if he hears the word ‘money’ just one more time he’s turning this car around and NO ONE gets to go to Disneyland! Art is the worst partner in the world.
Later, Sarah meets Kasima for drinks in a bar. She asks her if she should be worried because the German was sick. Kasima says the blood samples are in the case and if she gives it over she’ll know in a couple of weeks. We find out a little bit of backstory: German Katja was the one to contact dead Beth with the crazy story of her genetic identicals being hunted in Europe. Beth investigated on her own with face recognition software and found Kasima and Alison. So who’s the original? Who’s killing them? Now that Beth’s dead they reeeeeally need Sarah to stay pretending to be her so they still have someone in the police department helping them. Sarah isn’t keen on this as she admittedly sucks at pretending to be a cop. Kasima points out that at the very least she needs to stay because of the matching fingerprint problem that will come in. Sarah agrees.
Back at the station Sarah has to figure out, like, freaking everything. I’m impressed she even managed to find her desk. Art is about to head out when he gets a phone call from a mysterious person using a voice change program. This distorted voice person has some sort of eastern European accent, maybe Ukrainian.
The caller asks if Art’s partner is listening and Art lets the caller know he/she is on speakerphone and the whole office is listening. The caller says that the victim was just one of a few, unfit for family. She’s horse glue. She expired…and…oh dammit why won’t my closed captioning work on my TV??? Cause I could really use it to figure out the next line, which is probably super important.
Art takes off to investigate stuff and Sarah manages to charm the IT guy Raj into helping her with pretty much everything, starting with resetting her password and oh, um, the whole procedure for fingerprint results. Raj is just happy that someone is being nice to him.
Sarah harasses the guy the crime lab to see if the fingerprint results are in. The guy is swamped with receiving packages and turns to put them away, telling her to give him an hour as the results are probably in his inbox. Sarah takes the risk and tells him she’ll ‘help’. She pops behind the counter to open his email, revealing her own mugshot. The guy tells her to cut it out as he signs for delivery but doesn’t see her quickly delete the email. She gets scolded as she leaves. Sarah is used to Art scolding her so this doesn’t faze her one bit.
Speaking of Art, he’s with another cop and they’re back at the crime scene, this time over where Sarah’s car was shot. They start tracking where the gunshot came from and find a motorcycle tread.
Sarah meets up with Mrs. S at some remote location. There sure is some bad history between the two of them cause they do not like each other at all. Mrs. S says that faking your death and then planning on taking Kira on the run is a stupid idea. She’s going to allow a visit but Sarah can’t regain legal custody until she proves she can become a stable person. Sarah angrily points out that Mrs S isn’t Kira’s legal guardian just like she’s no longer Sarah’s. Mrs. S tells her she’ll call social services on Sarah. Sarah backs down. Mrs. S is kinda a bitch but she’s got a point.
Art and the female cop Angela roam in some bushy reeds where the shooter hid. On a branch they find a Barbie-type doll with chopped red hair like Katja’s. The eyes are blackened out. Creepy.
Uptight Mom Alison is going to teach Sarah how to shoot a gun since Art booked them both time at the gun range tomorrow and Sarah needs to look like she knows what she’s doing at least once. God. Alison is having trouble finding a babysitter. No problem, Sarah’s got the answer.
Felix shows up at Alison’s and the kids just stare at him. Haha! He seems to have no idea what to do with them. He asks the kids where the drinks are but they don’t know what he means. “Don’t worry, I’ll find it.” Then he asks Oscar, “You. Do you want to dress up like a little girl?” Oscar frowns mightily and turns him down. Felix is at a loss as for what to do. However the little girl is all for dressing up like a boy. Felix is delighted. Now we’re in business!
Sarah’s best little helper Raj has some info on a stolen Suzuki motorcycle that matches the tread found at the crime scene. Sarah writes it down and tells him to put out one of those…whatchyamacallits…uh…. Raj helpfully tells her it’s an APB and Sarah tells him yeah, that.
Down in an open field Sarah is missing the targets Alison has set up on posts: stuffed animals. Hee! Alison is actually helpful, encouraging Sarah to reload and try again. She tells Sarah that most city cops carry Glocks, but hers is a Walther P99 which has an optional grip that’s good for women. Alison tells Sarah that dead Beth taught her how to shoot so she could protect her family. Alison is pretty freaked out about the whole ordeal and doesn’t like using the clone word. Sarah ends up hitting the stuffed animals and grins happily.
When Sarah drops Alison back off at home Alsion tells her how important it is to her that her children don’t know that she’s a freak. Aw, Alison, stop being so hard on yourself. She tells Sarah about the fund she set up so she could contribute towards the search for whoever is killing them. Sarah looks down and quietly asks how much and we all see where this is going. Yep, it’s the $75, 000 Sarah stole that Art’s currently holding hostage. Alison nervously says she and Kasima decided to trust Sarah and she hopes she won’t rob her blind. She asks Sarah if she can con Beth’s bank to get access to the cash when they need it and Sarah nods a little. Um, yeah, I think I could.
Alison walks into her house to discover this:
Gemma, smiles happily. “Look Mom! We’re cross-dressers!” and Oscar announces happily, “I’m you!” Alison is unimpressed and firmly tells them no when they ask if Felix can sleep over. They both desperately love Felix and beg him to stay as he puts down his drink (obviously found the alcohol) and leaves, calling, “Adios, dragsters!” over his shoulder. Best. Scene. Ever.
Felix pops over to visit Sarah at Beth’s place. He playfully asks if she’s going to rip off her new sis and still take the $75, 000 and go with Kira. Sarah tells him Alison is not her sis and yeah, damn straight she’s still taking the money. Felix is about to argue when they are both terrified to hear the door opening. My reaction, however, is YES! Paul’s coming in! Sarah shoves Felix into the bedroom and tells him to hide. Felix is all, hide where??
Sarah has no idea how to stop Paul from coming in. He just wants a change of clothes and goes to the walk-in closet where Felix is barely concealed behind the door. Desperate to distract him, Sarah blurts out that she’s been reinstated. Paul is all, sure whatevs and Sarah says she’s sorry she’s been like this. He asks her how she’d like it if he acted like her and she retorts that maybe he should treat her the same way cause where are they even going with this? Paul responds by striding over to her and grabbing her manfully and omg omg hot. Sarah tries to resist but c’mon Paul is a total hottie and she starts kissing him back. He flings her around and shoves her against the wall to kiss her neck and I’m very, very pleased.
Felix is shocked for all of two seconds and then switches right to delighted because as previously mentioned, Paul is hot.
Paul’s hand is down Sarah’s pants and she finally pulls away. They face each other, panting and grinning a little. When Paul walks over to her again and kisses her Sarah does not resist one bit and looks pretty disappointed when this time it’s Paul that backs away. He gives her a triumphant little smile and says he’s sorry, but he has to go. He leaves and Sarah can only laugh at herself.
Felix comes out of the bedroom and the two of them squee over the delightful sex god that Paul is. Rowr. It takes a moment for Sarah to get her mind out of the gutter and remember that she has a plan and she can’t get distracted by anyone, no matter how excellent a kisser he is.
The next day Sarah impresses Art at the gun range with her new shooting skills and her casual Glock banter. Thank you, Alison! A call comes in-patrol spotted a Suzuki motorcycle that matches the APB put out. It’s a long shot but they go to check it out.
The old Ukrainian superintendent at the boardinghouse doesn’t speak much English besides, “My son! My son no here!” Art implies that Beth spoke another language and Sarah covers by saying her Ukrainian sucks. They go to the upstairs apartment where the superintendent pointed and Sarah finds a copy of Katja’s passport stuck in a Bible which she shoves in her pocket before Art sees it. He asks if she found anything and she reads off the circled passage, “…you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Art recites the passage as she reads and I am impressed until they show it’s also written on the wall in front of him. Great, a crazy religious serial killer.
Sarah glances over her shoulder just in time to see a gun barrel at the window. She pushes Art down just in time. She’s terrified to see he’s bleeding out of one ear. Their ears are ringing but he yells that he’s fine and she needs to go after the shooter. Sarah clumsily takes out her gun and chases the hooded person down back lanes and through alleyways, all the while looking extremely frightened.
Back at the apartment Art calls it into dispatch, clutching the side of his bloody head.
Sarah loses the shooter and calls Art, telling him where she is. Just as she finishes she’s hit from behind and falls, stunned. The person kneels over her and an accented female voice rasps, “Good riddance, Elizabeth Childs” as she prepares to stabby stab stab. Sarah cries out that she’s not Beth and the woman stops in surprise. She pulls off her hood to reveal that she’s also a clone. DEEDLE-BONG!
The killer clone is fascinated by Sarah. She runs the side of her knife over Sarah’s face almost lovingly and says, “Dirty little copy-cop. Who are you?” I think I love this evil clone. Sarah is utterly terrified but she manages to reach for a piece of rebar and rams it into the evil clone’s side. The clone is unhappy with this turn of events and staggers back, pulling a gun on Sarah. She doesn’t shoot, telling Sarah, “Not yet, Not-Beth” and stumbles away, leaving her knife behind. Sarah grabs it and hides it in her pocket just as Art runs up to help. Thanks Art. Thanks for nothing.
It’s night and Sarah’s being checked by the paramedics but she claims she’s fine. The Lieutenant wants to know if she struggled with him at close quarters and she confirms, saying she never saw his face. Clever girl, now they still think the killer is a man. Art walks Sarah to her car and he’s super sad that he wasn’t there for her like she was for him. Sarah says it’s all good and just wants to go home to shower. Art reaches into his truck and pulls out the money and apologizes for keeping it away from her. Everything’s coming up MILHOUSE.
Sarah and Felix are sitting in front of Mrs. S’s house. Felix asks her again if she’s sure about this and Sarah says yes. She peeks through the window and sees how happy Kira is as Mrs. S reads her a book and then gives her a piggyback ride to bed. She goes back to the car and reluctantly tells Felix that Mrs. S was right. She can’t just snatch her daughter away, what kind of mother would she be? She has one visit and needs to get it right. They drive off.
Back at someone’s really nice bathroom, my new favourite evil clone is slowly pulling a huge piece of rebar out of her side. You’d think that having a foot of metal shoved in her body would slow her down until the camera pans to reveal the scarred ruin of her back. It seems she’s no stranger to excruciating pain.
Seriously you guys, next week can’t come fast enough. I love this show!