WHAT’S UP GUYS. I’m sorry this is late, I just got back from visiting family in South Carolina. (We’re cannibals, too, but not the sexy European kind. We’re the hillbilly kind. The Wrong Turn kind. The 2,000 Maniacs! kind. Let’s not talk about it.)
PREVIOUSLY: FREDERICK CHILTON WAS THE WORST EVER AT EVERYTHING; The Former Surgeon Known as Dr. Gideon took credit for the Chesapeake Ripper murders, thanks to a combination of unethical psychiatric methods and an FBI/Freddie Lounds merger; the real Chesapeake Ripper didn’t take too kindly to that and gave Jack an arm belonging to the possibly dead/hopefully just maimed (????? wtf samantha. this show has given me weird priorities) Miriam Lass, his former protege/Will Graham; our Not Benjamin Raspail, Franklin, put a Kleenex on Hannibal’s side table LIKE A GROSS HORRIBLE MONSTER; and Alana and Will have never been alone in a room together.
FBI ACADEMY, QUANTICO, VIRGINIA
Will, teaching a class, starts us off with a cheerful breakdown of the Ripper’s methodology so far:
“The Chesapeake Ripper kills in sounders of three. He did his first victims in nine days–Annapolis, Essex, Baltimore. He didn’t kill again for eighteen months, then did his next sounder of three in as many days, all of them in Baltimore. I use the term sounders because it refers to a small group of pigs. That’s how he sees his victims. Not as people, not as prey. Pigs.”
I wonder how many trainees have tried to write PSYCHOANALYZE ME on their eyelids.
Will goes through the Jeremy Olmstead murder, showing a picture of the impromptu toolbox that was his body in relation to the Wound Man drawing. He notices Jack watching, and goes to the next slide–Miriam Lass’s trainee ID. Jack looks on the verge of actual tears when Will says that her severed arm was only found because the Ripper wanted it to be.
“The Chesapeake Ripper has remained consistently theatrical.” Will says, and Jack closes his eyes.
INSIDE A LADY’S THROAT STARING AT HER EPIGLOTTIS
get us the fuck out of here, miss frizzle!!!
OUTSIDE A LADY’S THROAT AT THE OPERA
She is singing the aria “Piangerò la sorte mia” from Handel’s Giulio Cesare. I’m not a big opera fan, but the lady has a cool dress and her voice is beautiful.
If anybody knows her name, please share! I can’t find it anywhere :( She is Emily Klassen!
Hannibal is in the audience. We go into his ear, and when we come back out, he’s crying. Watching him cry is Franklin Froideveaux, and watching Franklin watch Hannibal cry is this cutie:
WHO IS KINDA PISSED APPARENTLY.
Hannibal starts the standing ovation, and the singer bows gracefully. Later, in the lobby, Hannibal is accosted by Mrs. Komeda (ELLEN GREENE! HELLO VIVIAN CHARLES <3) (and I'm pretty sure Mrs. Komeda is her name) (which I don't know if it's pronounced this way but I'm pronouncing it like comida because that is hilarious), who laments that he hasn’t thrown a dinner party for everyone in ages. She says it’s always a huge production, essentially dinner and a show.
Hannibal: I will [cook for you] again. Once inspiration strikes. You can’t force a feast, a feast must present itself.
Mrs. Komeda: It’s a dinner, not a unicorn.
Hannibal: But the feast is life. You put the life in your belly and then you live.
Me: Somebody needs to pass on the next glass of champagne.
Mrs. Komeda notices Franklin trying to get Hannibal’s attention, and Hannibal finally turns to him. He introduces his cute friend as Tobias, and there is a lot of lingering ominous staring as Mrs. Komeda asks how Hannibal and Franklin know each other. Hannibal defers, claiming a desire to remain mysterious outside of the opera, but Franklin’s just like I’M HIS PATIENT.
Hannibal asks how he liked the opera, and Tobias tells Hannibal that Franklin’s eyes kept wandering over to Hannibal. Hannibal tells Tobias to leave something for them to discuss at Franklin’s next session, and Tobias looks like he’s about to shank somebody. Possibly Hannibal. I hate it when I accidentally get into pitched battles with dudes for the affections of people I don’t like! So annoying!
Tobias and Franklin move along, and Hannibal says “Who’s hungry?”
JACK CRAWFORD’S SUBCONSCIOUS WHICH LOOKS LIKE THE QUANTICO ANALYSIS LABS/MORGUE
Jack hears a phone ringing in the empty morgue. He opens one of the refrigerators and pulls out the table, where Miriam Lass’s arm is clutching the ringing phone.
JACK CRAWFORD’S EMPTY BED
It’s actually his phone in real life, which wakes him up.
AN SUV IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Jack and Will look sleepy in the driver’s and passenger’s seats, respectively. Jack explains that they’re going to a hotel, where a body was found in a bathtub–abdominal trauma, with organs removed. Will remarks that it sounds more like an urban legend than the Ripper, but Jack just tells him that the room is sealed, so Will is gonna get it fresh.
“Fresh as a daisy?” Will says.
“I KIND OF HATE YOU AND THE THINGS YOU SAY THAT YOU SEEM TO FIND AMUSING” Jack doesn’t say.
“Fresh enough for you to tell me whether or not it’s the Ripper.” Jack does say. “Then you can go back to class.”
Will scoffs. “You don’t want me in a classroom. You want me to wrap my head so tight around the Ripper, I won’t go back to class until he’s gone.”
“Your bad luck that you’re the best, pal.”
Will asks if Jack is expecting another couple of bodies. Jack says yes, and Will warns Jack not to let the Ripper stir him up. “He left you Miriam Lass’s arm so he could poke you with it.”
Jack asks why he didn’t leave the rest of her, and Will says that it was different with her, that he didn’t want to humiliate Miriam like he did the rest of the victims. Jack extrapolates that he must have respected her more, because she figured out who he was.
“He may be starting another cycle, Will.”
“The Ripper contacted you directly. If he was killing again, he wouldn’t be subtle about it. He would just pick up the phone. Any more phone calls, Jack?”
Jack says if this is the Ripper, they’ve got a window of a few more bodies before the Ripper goes underground again, and they need to catch him this time. Last time the window closed, he lost the Ripper and Miriam. Jack just looks constantly like he’s about to cry this whole episode.
Cops are gathered out in the hallway. Katz, Price, and Zeller are going over the room already. Jack asks if anyone touched the body, and Zeller says that for once, the local cops behaved themselves. Price says it’s pretty obvious the dude is dead without touching the body, but Katz is like “I touched it.” Zeller supplies that the body had surgery performed pre-mortem, but then it was unperformed–WITH BARE HANDS–and the sutures were all ripped out. Zeller also admits to touching the body. FUCKIN’ ZELLER.
Price says that pieces of the body were dropped from the bed to the bathroom, and all of the agents pile in to check it out again. Will sits next to the bathtub, which is full of dead guy, and says that the surgery wasn’t performed there (as there would have been more blood). Katz and Price brainstorm that the actual removal might have been performed on whatever transport the killer used. Will notices that the man tore out his own sutures, and the kidney’s gone, but the heart is present. Traumatized, but present.
Will sits forward, and Jack is immediately like EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT HE’S ABOUT TO DO THE EMPATHY AND YOU DON’T WANNA GET ANY ON YOU.
Will goes into his mind palace. He backs out of the room, and when he comes back in, the stag is there already!
Will walks further into the room. The victim is standing, bloody and pulling at his stitches.
Signs of a struggle indicate he’s suffering from a severe, violent emergence from deep sedation.
The guy flies at Will immediately, and they slam each other bloodily around the room for a minute before Will manages to shove him down into the bathtub, climbing in with him.
His heart seizes up. I open his chest wall. I spread the ribs. I take his heart in my hand. Internal…cardiac…massage.
Will comes back to the present, and yells for Jack.
“This wasn’t brutal. The killer wasn’t killing. He was trying to save his life.” Will looks back toward Jack. “The Ripper ever do that?”
SAME HOTEL ROOM LIKE 4 MINUTES LATER
Zeller: It’s the Chesapeake Ripper.
Will: IT’S NOT THE RIPPER ZELLER YOU EVOLUTIONARY MISTAKE.
Zeller: There are too many similiarities.
Will: THERE AREN’T ENOUGH AND IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU’RE GONNA FIND OUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO INVESTIGATE CRIMES WITH YOUR DICK STAPLED TO YOUR FOREHEAD.
Zeller starts listing off the similarities (surgical cuts instead of stabs, clothed victims on display, etc.), and Will argues that they’re only potential similarities, and could be entirely coincidental. Zeller starts arguing again, so Will shuts the bathroom door in his face.
Jack: Are you sure?
Will: More or less.
Jack: Tell me why you’re sure.
Will explains that this killer isn’t the same one that would leave a body in a church pew with their tongue marking the page of a bible. He thinks this is possibly a medical student or trainee who made a mistake during a back-alley surgery of some kind.
Jack says they need to find the Ripper, and Will once again assures him they will. Jack says Will’s not gonna get the chance to shoot him. “I’m gonna do that.”
Will: You can’t just jack up the law and get underneath it.
“Tell me how you see the Ripper, Will.” Jack says.
Will sighs and answers with “I see him as one of those pitiful things sometimes born in hospitals. They feed it, keep it warm, but they don’t put it on the machines. They let it die. But he doesn’t die. He looks normal. Nobody can tell what he is.”
You know, I always struggle with what to write in my little brothers’ birthday cards, but I think Will might have just solved my problem.
(I’m pretty sure that quote is straight out of Red Dragon.)
HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX OFFICE, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND.
Hannibal opens the door and invites Franklin in. Hitch up your underoos, ’cause it’s about to get uncomfortable as balls in here.
Hannibal asks Franklin why they ended up at the opera at the same time, and Franklin lies his way through some story about how it wasn’t an accident but he also somehow wasn’t totally stalking Hannibal. Hannibal’s like OH THIS IS UNFORTUNATE.
Franklin: I want you to be my friend.
Hannibal: Of course you do. Check me out.
“It makes me sad that I have to pay to see you.” Franklin complains. Hannibal tilts his chair back and falls into a trapdoor in the floor and moves to Tierra del Fuego to herd goats on horseback because this is all very embarrassing. Kudos to–
holy shit, I can’t find the actor’s name ANYWHERE. It’s not in the credits at the beginning or on the internet. WHO ARE YOU. Anyway, the actor does a good job with Franklin. DAN FOGLER DAN FOGLER IT’S DAN FOGLER.
Franklin says he listened to Michael Jackson the night before, and says that the saddest thing about him dying was that Franklin never got to meet him, and that he thinks he could have saved him from himself.
“In this Michael Jackson fantasy, how was this friendship returned?” Hannibal asks.
“I just get to touch greatness.”
DR. BEDELIA DU MAURIER’S SEX OFFICE
FINALLY! GILLIAN ANDERSON HAS ARRIVED! She is DR. BEDELIA DU MAURIER! Best name in history! I’m so excited!
Dr. du Maurier is Hannibal’s psychiatrist. She also takes precisely zero of his shit, and in a way, knows him better than anybody because she knows he’s a total faker.
Bedelia: I have conversations with a version of you. And hope that the actual you gets what he needs.
Hannibal: A version of me.
Bedelia: Naturally, I respect its meticulous construction. But you are wearing a very well-tailored person suit.
Hannibal: ….omg does she know about the skin suit
Hannibal asks if that’s how she refers to him with other psychiatrists, but she says she doesn’t refer to him with other psychiatrists. BECAUSE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL. We find out she’s only got one patient, and that’s only because Hannibal “chose to ignore” her retirement.
Hannibal: The patient who wears a person suit.
Bedelia: Maybe it’s less of a person suit and more of a human veil.
Hannibal: ……OMG DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT THAT TOO
She says that Hannibal must be lonely, but Hannibal says he has friends, and opportunities for friends. He says that they are friendly, but Bedelia shuts it down, saying that Hannibal’s her patient and colleague, and at the end of the hour they’ll have a glass of wine, but Hannibal will be drinking it on the other side of the veil.
Hannibal’s like, I only wear the veil at home to take cute selfies that I never post. :(
Bedelia gets up, asking if he’d like a red or white. Hannibal suggests pink instead.
HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX OFFICE
Will is there for his appointment. As he walks past Hannibal to take his jacket off, he says “You’ve been drinking.”
NOW WHO’S THE SNIFFY WEIRDO, WILL?
Oh wait haha there’s a bottle on the table. Hannibal says he had a glass of wine with his last appointment, telling Will he has an unconventional psychiatrist.
Will: We have that in common.
Hannibal: …..wait, am I just your psychiatrist or are we best friends!?!?!
Will: Yes is the answer to that question.
Hannibal: /leaves glittery macaroni ~*~FRIENDSHIP~*~ art in desk for the time being
Hannibal says that having a glass of wine would be totally normal, and pours one for Will.
Hannibal says he saw the new article on Tattlecrime.com, and asks if the Ripper has struck again. Will gets up, agitated, and says no.
“It’s not the same guy.” he adds.
“Maybe it’s never been the same guy.” Hannibal suggests.
“What, now he’s got a friend?”
Hannibal considers the macaroni art in his desk. MAYHAP NOT ALL IS LOST.
They discuss what the Ripper might be trying to hide with the mutilation. It’s the organ removal–Hannibal nudges Will in the direction of organ traffickers, and even Will’s like “LOL ok yeah sure. I’ll keep that in mind if another body drops.”
“Please do.” Hannibal says.
BLACK AND WHITE FLASHBACK, HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX KITCHEN OF DRAMATIC IRONY
Hannibal gets his blood drawn by a super unpleasant private doctor dude. The dude is like “You are probably riddled with the herp so you had better tell me before I have to find out.” Hannibal asks for his business card, which we see in a non-flashback ends up on a wheel full of business cards. Hannibal plucks the card out, and finds a recipe in his box o’ recipes.
Later that night, it’s raining and dark and scary on a backroad. The doctor pulls off to the side of the road with a gas leak. HAHA, HANNIBAL’S JACKING OUR CANNIBAL SWAG! THAT’S HOW MY HILLBILLY BRETHREN GET ALL OUR VICTIMS!!!
I mean. That’s how my hillbilly brethren get all their victims.
Seriously, though, just keep driving until you can’t anymore and then get out and run. It’s worth a fucked-up car when your delectable buns are on the line!
I mean your normal buns!!
That probably don’t even taste good!!!
A car pulls up behind him–it’s Hannibal, obviously, asking if he needs some help. The dude’s like YEAH I DO TOTALLY and doesn’t even get suspicious probably until Hannibal is actively murdering him.
QUANTICO ANALYSIS LAB OF MURDERED A-HOLES
The doctor is in…half. He was found on a school bus in two separate pieces, kidney and heart removed. Fuckin’ Zeller starts in with how it’s the Ripper, but Will is still not convinced. He seems to lean toward the “coverup for organ harvesting” theory, particularly when Katz explains that the organs were taken in a way that would allow them to be viable until given to the buyer. However, Will ends up falling down on the side of different killers once again, remarking that the Ripper was more elegant and had different motivations. The discussion at Quantico is intercut with preparation of the kidney and heart, which is wonderful because Bryan Fuller confirmed that it’s actually Mads Mikkelsen doing the close-up food prep. I didn’t know I could get a meatboner, but here we are.
HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX KITCHEN
Hannibal and Alana are cooking dinner together! It is pretty hot! He gives her a beer that he’s brewed in wine barrels for two years–likely using Miriam Lass in the process. I looked up some ways to make person-beer and reported my findings here, but considering Hannibal uses a centrifuge setting on his food processor (OMG I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS A THING) to separate blood later on, and since I assume the liquid he refers to at that point is plasma that adds a “sweet taste,” it’s possible there’s blood plasma in the beer. IN ANY EVENT, Alana loves it, especially when she finds out it’s her own private reserve.
Hannibal asks Alana if she’s purposely avoiding talking about Will. She smiles and assures him that she is definitely avoiding talking about Will, because she doesn’t want to have any information about him that she shouldn’t have as his friend. ALANA MY SWEET MILDLY MANIPULATIVE PRINCESS.
Hannibal asks if she ever consulted on the Ripper case, and she says she hasn’t since Jack asked her to before Miriam Lass disappeared.
“You had me examining PhD candidates that week.” she reminds him.
Hannibal saucily says “You realize those PhD candidates thought we were having an affair. Why didn’t we?”
“You were already having an affair.” Alana sauces back. “Will does that too, you know?”
“What? Have affairs?” HE CAN FEEL THE MACARONI ART PULSING WITH LUST INSIDE HIS DESK. SOON IT WILL BE TIME.
“Flirtatiously change the subject. You have that pathology in common.”
Hannibal says she never talked about Will, even before Hannibal met him. Alana says she just wants everyone to leave Will alone. She adds that it’s not even about Will, but Jack is grooming him to catch the Chesapeake Ripper.
Hannibal says “I sincerely hope he does.”
JACK’S SUBCONSCIOUS QUANTICO ANALYSIS LAB
Jack opens up another refrigerator, but there’s nothing in it. The music goes nuts as he senses something behind him and turns around. Will, dead and naked on one of the tables and with a Y-incision on his torso, sits up slowly. His left arm is missing.
It’s genuinely creepy as a scene/visual, and a good insight into Jack’s emotional state. So often in these shows, the boss character is the unfeeling, undemonstrative macho badass father-mentor-standin who’s Lost A Man Once (but that doesn’t matter after the episode’s over and the status quo is resumed). Jack seemed like this initially, but he’s got an inner life as rich and dark and in turmoil as anyone else on the show, and we get to see that. It would be so easy to hate Jack, but like: he’s scared that his wife is dying and he’s twisted up on the inside with guilt from every direction (Bella and Miriam and everyone else the Ripper’s killed) and his nightmares involve Will Graham ending up cold and dead on his watch. That’s fucking beautiful, and he’s fascinating.
Will disappears, and Jack is left staring at the slab.
HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX HOUSE
More butcheryporn. Oh my god I’m so hungry BUT ALL I HAVE IS HELLO PANDA COOKIES. Hannibal finishes up and smiles fondly into his freezer, like “I have meated enough for today.”
QUANTICO ANALYSIS LAB OF SHUT THE FUCK UP ZELLER THE ADULTS ARE SPEAKING
There are now four bodies, all missing different organs. Price is like “Someone’s even missing a spleen! A FUCKING SPLEEN.” Haha, he’s just so over this whole case.
Price and Zeller speculate about what kind of harvester would possibly need this volume of organs in such a short span of time. Zeller says maybe they’re selling to China, and Price says there’s a cultural taboo about voluntary organ donation. Zeller bitches, but Price is like “I WAS AGREEING WITH YOU DICKBALLS.”
Jack breaks up the brewing catfight and asks Will to confirm that there are two killers and that one of them is the Chesapeake Ripper. Will does.
HANNIBAL LECTER’S SEX OFFICE OF DISCOMFORT.
Hannibal invites Franklin in. Franklin, I would like to note, is now DRESSED LIKE HANNIBAL.
Hannibal then stomps off to find his man.
Abigail–Hi, Abigail!–and Will sit across from each other in a dark field, separated by Cassie Boyle’s body. Will is wearing a Garrett Jacob Hobbs fishing vest.
“It’s better that it’s just the two of us.” Abigail says, smiling dreamily.
“Will.” Hannibal’s voice echoes over the scene. Abigail looks up at the sky and says “Dad?”
“Yes?” Will answers.
“There’s someone else here.”
The field turns back into Will’s classroom. Hannibal says his name until he is shaken out of his open-eyed nap. “I have a 24-hour cancellation policy.” Hannibal snits. Will’s like WHAT YEAR IS IT and Hannibal tells him it’s almost 9 o’clock. Will apologizes, but Hannibal says there’s no need.
Will expresses a desire to stop sleeping altogether, because that’s the only way to keep the nightmares at bay. Hannibal looks at the photos scattered on the table in front of him, and is like “I can imagine how this would give you nightmares.”
Will stands next to Hannibal and asks for his opinion on the Ripper. They reiterate that it’s about disgracing unworthy people, and Hannibal says the Ripper takes the organs because he feels the people don’t deserve them. Will literally scoots away like three feet, whether he’s conscious of it or not.
Hannibal picks up the picture of Miriam’s severed arm and asks about it. Will explains the situation, and says that the Ripper had no reason to humiliate Miriam.
“He was trying to humiliate someone.” Hannibal says. Will tells him it was Jack.
“Did it work?” Hannibal asks.
“I’d say it worked really well.”
ELSEWHERE AT QUANTICO, JACK’S OFFICE
Katz has basically solved the whole case and saved the day like she does ALL THE TIME. She shows Jack a hotel security video of a first-responder ambulance driving away from the scene, and tells him that the city hires private ambulance companies.
“Where’s Will Graham?” Jack says.
WILL’S CLASSROOM OF MURDERBONERS AND STANDING WAY 2 CLOSE 4 COMFORT
Jack walks in with Katz and greets both Will and Hannibal. He asks if Hannibal would like to ride along to apprehend the Chesapeake Ripper, and Hannibal’s like “LOL yeah but we’d better take one of the Escalades, this turgid manbeef isn’t gonna fit in a towncar.”
AMBULANCE DISPATCH HOUSE
The ambulance they’re looking for is indeed not where it belongs. The driver, Devon Silvestri, is planning on taking the MCATs according to the owner of the place. He wasn’t scheduled for the day, either. Katz asks about GPS systems in the ambulances, and the owner says they’re consumer-grade. Katz, ONCE AGAIN SAVING THE DAY, says she can find the ambulance if the radio’s on.
Hannibal leans in toward Will. “This is very educational.” Will tinysmiles at him. Aaw.
SOME GARAGE, EMPTY EXCEPT FOR THE MISSING AMBULANCE
The FBI tactical team, led by Jack with a shotgun, find Silvestri mid-harvest. Silvestri tells Jack he can’t remove his hands or the victim will die, and Jack yells for Hannibal. Jack asks if Hannibal can assess the situation. Hannibal climbs into the ambulance and says “He was removing his kidney–poorly. I can stop the bleeding.”
He pulls off his jacket and jams his hands into the guy, presumably pinching an artery shut or something. Silvestri is ordered out of the ambulance, and Will and Hannibal stare dramatically at each other.
IT’S VERY POIGNANT.
HANNIBAL’S SEX KITCHEN
Hannibal prepares delicious-looking food with a kitchen full of sous-chefs. OMG, DREAM JOB. He does the thing with the blood and the centrifuge button and explains to an awkward-looking Will that he’ll serve it with tomatoes (and he pronounces it tomAHto. I always wondered who actually pronounced it that way, and the answer is–as the answer is to so many bizarre questions these days–Mads Mikkelsen).
Hannibal asks Will to stay for dinner, but Will declines, saying he wouldn’t be good company.
Hannibal: I disagree. But, before you go–what became of Mr. Silvestri’s donor?
Will says Hannibal saved his life, and asks why Hannibal quit being a surgeon. Hannibal’s like “I killed someone. LOL. This is gonna be so hilarious in like a year.” Actually, the patient died. Will says that he was an ER surgeon, that was to be expected. Hannibal says it got too difficult, so he decided to expend his energy in the culinary arts, and that he heals people’s minds instead now, and “No one’s died as a result of my therapy.”
Will smiles and says he has to go. “I have a date with the Chesapeake Ripper.”
Hannibal’s like “Or Rippers?” Will answers in the negative. “Jack must be devastated.” Hannibal says, grateful for murderboner-disguising aprons.
“He is.” Will puts a bottle down in front of Hannibal and says “Enjoy the wine.” before he leaves.
Jack stares at the Big Board o’ Victims, and leaves the office. No phones ring and no Wills rise from the dead on his way out.
HANNIBAL’S SEX DINING ROOM
BEAUTIFUL FOOD. A TON OF CLAPPING. RICH PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD. ALANA’S THERE.
Hannibal: Before we begin, you must be warned: nothing here is vegetarian. Bon appetit.
+Was will extra weird about Hannibal in this episode? I felt like sometimes he was getting suspicious, but it feels a little early in the season for that.
+Which dish did you want to eat the most? WAS IT ALL OF THEM?
+How hilarious was Hannibal’s OMG WILL MISSED HIS APPOINTMENT emotional breakdown?
+Tyromancy: yay or nay?
+Is Katz the best or is Katz the best?
+How many NBC executive business cards will you be collecting if the show doesn’t get renewed?
+WHAT IS A SORBET