YOU GUYS. I’m so glad to finally get this post up. It’s been an incredibly busy time and I’m still in the thick of things. Holidays and restaurant openings are time consuming, yo. And I still have so many 12 hour workdays ahead of meeeeee :’(
Previously: So many nightmares! Willow had to sing opera in front of a booing crowd! Giles thought Buffy was dead! Buffy thought her Dad hated her! Cordy had bad hair! Xander went to class practically naked! Xander punched a scary clown! A little kid got viciously beaten into a coma! But it’s all good cause we got to see Xander in his underpants! We all rejoiced.
Sounds like the year is drawing to a close. Cordelia is walking down the hall with her friend Harmony and some random hot guy. They’re excited about the end of school and the upcoming dance. Cordy is having her dress custom made as off the rack gives her hives. Her douchey boyfriend Mitch guesses it’ll be blue like her eyes. “My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller!” Cordy snaps. This is why I love Cordy. Also, I can only assume this guy is gonna die.
The trio walk by the library just as Buffy bursts through the doors. She smacks right into them and drops her bag. It’s filled with weapons and I’m like wtf, a mace?
Buffy: You’re probably wondering what I’m doing with this stuff, huh?
Cordelia: Wow, I’m not!
Buffy doesn’ttake the hint and stutters that she’s doing a history project for history and did she mention that was for history? It’s for history. History class.
Cordy and company continue walking down the hall as Buffy listens to Cordy talk about what a loser Buffy is and how Buffy attacked her that time back in the Bronze. Hey! Poor Buffy has the sads.
Later in class, Cordy answers questions and comes across as self-involved and shallow. She’s a good student though and after class asks the teacher for some help on her final paper. Cordy is a mix of things.
Douchebag boyfriend is drying off in the boys locker room. He tells his lame friends that he’s going to go pick up his tux. His friends tell him he needs to look good to be on Cordelia’s arm and he replies, “It’s not her arm I’m looking to be on.” They all laugh like a bunch of assholes.
His friends leave and Douchebag hears giggling. He looks around but doesn’t see anyone. More giggling happens and Douche demands that the giggler comes out of hiding. Instead, a bat that was on top of the lockers starts floating. It beats the crap out of him. Bye, Douchey! That’s what you get for treating Cordelia like a piece of sex.
Cordy is campaigning for May Queen by handing out chocolates. She goes to offer one to Buffy but then pulls it away. Psyche! Cordy doesn’t need the crazies to vote for her!
As she leaves Buffy watches her and her friends with sad eyes. “I don’t even like chocolates!” she calls out to their backs. Nice try, Buffy. Everyone likes chocolates. But seriously Buffy, man up. Stop being so pathetic.
Xander and Willow come over and start reminiscing about Cordelia being Cordelia-like way back in sixth grade. Buffy watches with a smile frozen on her face, feeling left out. Wow, she is so sulky. We’re not even into Bangel territory yet.
Xander asks what kind of moron would want to be May Queen anyways. Buffy’s all, “I was, at my old school” ***SAD FACE TIMES A MILLION*** and Xander tries to backpedal. Then Willow starts laughing again over that thing Cordy did when she was twelve and Buffy’s all feeling left out and I’m so done with this scene.
Luckily some kid runs up to shout out the news: Mitch got beat up and maybe he’s dead! Wait? Maybe? :’(
Nope, he’s not dead. Douche La Louche tells Buffy that he heard something and when he went to grab his bat, it floated up and hit him. Sounds legit.
Buffy puts on her detective shoes and tries to go investigate the locker room but Principal Snyder is there to ruin her fun. Willow’s finally stopped laughing about the olden days with Xander and does Buffy a solid by loudly asking, “Sue?! What did you say? Mitch was gonna sue the school??” Snyder is distracted and Buffy slips into the locker room.
Aw, I actually like Buffy’s outfit. WAIT WHAT. Yes, it’s true.
Buffy finds the bat lying harmlessly on the floor. Someone has scrawled a message on the lockers: LOOK.
Look at what? Xander asks as they all eat lunch later on. No one knows. Giles suggests this is a ghost, an angry one. Willow thinks it’s a dead kid ghost and gets assigned the task of compiling a list of dead kids. She’s thrilled cause, and let’s never forget this, she’s a nerd.
Giles asks Xander to help him research any and all possibilities. Xander is not thrilled. “What? So there’s homework now? When did this happen?”
Harmony and Cordy discuss the beat-up Mitch and of course Cordy only cares about how he will look in their prom picture because she’s Cordy and she rules. Someone is watching them and has a flashback in black and white about that time they said hello to the two girls and got rejected. Ok, that was a random moment.
Buffy calls out to Cordy, asking if she can talk to her. Harmony rolls her eyes and starts nastily asking why Buffy she’s always trying to talk to them. She is suddenly shoved by an invisible force. A stuntman in a bad wig takes a terrible, long, tumbling fall down the stone steps. Oh, no, wait, my bad. It was a stuntwoman in a bad wig.
Everyone races down the stairs after her but it looks like Harmony’s only broken her ankle. If this was an olden days film/tv show she would’ve lost the baby!
The ever-suffering Principal Snyder rushes over and asks Harmony what happened. Cordy, truly upset for someone for once, exclaims that she just fell, all by herself but Harmony insists she was pushed.
Buffy hears laughing and footsteps. She follows the sound back up the stairs. A door opens and closes all by itself. Buffy opens the door and goes inside, asking, “Anybody here?” Something rudely bumps past her. Buffy is more confused than scared. She says she just wants to talk. Buffy always just wants to talk. No one answers.
After school, Buffy and the gang are walking. They don’t notice two CIA-looking guys with notepads observing the area. Buffy asks Giles if he’s ever touched a ghost and he describes it as a cold feeling as the ghost passes through you. Buffy tells him it didn’t feel like that and it didn’t do that. It bumped her and it wasn’t cold. It was a girl, Buffy heard her laugh.
Xander thinks it’d cool to be an invisible person. He’d protect the girl’s locker room. He’s so brave.
Buffy has a plan. She thinks this all has something to do with Cordelia and since Cordy’s going to be working on her May Queen dress tonight, Buffy will be there to check out the action. What? Who works on their prom dress at school? So confused.
That night, Buffy investamagates. She peers through a door window and sees Cordy trying on her dress as her friends flutter around her. It’s a girly scene and once again, why is this scene happening, Joss? Girls don’t bring prom dresses to school and ‘work on them’ at night.
Buffy watches and feels more of the sads. As she turns away she hears a flute playing.
In the library, Giles also hears the music. It stops but Giles is uneasy. He turns and is startled to see Angel/David Banana Republic lurking behind him. Oh Angel. Always with the lurking.
Angel reassures Giles that he won’t eat him and tells him he can’t see Buffy as it’s too hard to be around her. Giles is all, omg romance!
Angel wants to talk about the Master and the Prophecy involving the Slayer. Giles has been trying to do as much research as he can about it but alas, the best prophecy books are like, totally lost.
Angel’s all, shit girl, I can get that there Pergamum Codex book for you. It’s not lost it’s just been misplaced. Giles almost kisses him.
The two talk briefly about the invisible girl terrorizing the school. Giles thinks that would be a wonderful power to possess but Angel disagrees. He hates looking into the mirror and not seeing his beautiful, beautiful face.
Flashback! A girl looks in the bathroom mirror and – gasp – sees her reflection. It’s Marcie, the invisible girl, being played by the mega-talented Clea DuVall.
Cordy and her crew walk up to her, talking about the boring lecture they just endured. They circle around Marcie who grins happily, thrilled to be included. She makes a joke about the professor’s toupee but no one acknowledges her. Her smile fades a little as they ignore her joke and keep talking but she gamely tries again. Harmony hisses, “We’re talking, okay?” at Marcie and Cordelia steals her toupee joke. Of course the group laughs at it and then leave Marcie. Her smile fades away and hurt slides in place instead. Clea DuVall is such a great actress. I love her in everything she does.
The next day Cordelia is announced as the May Queen. As she gives her speech Willow notices the CIA-type guys. She passes over her list of missing kids to Buffy. Guess who’s on it? Marcie, and she played the flute. I guess that was in the missing files report. Buffy tells them how she heard the flute last night. She goes to check it out.
In the band room, Buffy finds a dusty footprint. She looks up and guesses that Marcie hides in the ceiling.
Buffy climbs up and crawls around, eventually finding where Marcie has been living. We know this because she finds a flute and sheet music. Marcie is watching Buffy and judging by her breathing, Marcie is upset by the snooping. A knife hovers behind Buffy’s back as Buffy looks at Marcie’s yearbook, but she doesn’t get stabbed.
Instead, Marcie goes to the teacher that Cordy asked for help from earlier, Ms. Miller. She throws a plastic bag over the teacher’s head and suffocates her. Wow, remind me to never piss Marcie off.
Cordelia comes to Ms. Miller’s class and finds her slumped over with the bag still over her face. She rushes to her and pulls her up. Ms. Miller isn’t dead. What the hell? Why is no one dying in this episode? I haven’t had one RIP moment and we’re over halfway through.
A piece of chalk floats to the chalkboard and writes, “LISTEN”.
In the library, Buffy is showing Marcie’s yearbook to Willow, Xander and Giles. All anyone wrote was, “Have a nice summer”. Giles doesn’t understand why Xander, Willow and Buffy are all mortified by that so they explain that’s what kids write when they don’t know you, or have nothing to say. It’s the kiss of death. In my grade nine yearbook my classmate wrote, “Have a nice summer, Josie”. That was 28 years ago and I still remember it. WHY DID YOU WRITE THAT! It was like the reverse of this scene. He was so boring that he didn’t have anything interesting to write.
Buffy asks her friends if they knew Marcie and they both say no. Buffy says that both of them signed her yearbook and points to their, “Have a nice summer” signatures. Xander decides he must have only seen her to sign her yearbook since Sunnydale is such a big school. Mortified, Willow reads Marcie’s class lists and discovers they both had four classes with her.
Xander: What, she turned invisible because no one noticed her?
Giles is all, OF COURSE and gets excited with discovery in his typical Giles way. He says they should’ve been investigating mystical causes of invisibility. You know, Hellmouth and all that. People treated Marcie as invisible and she became so.
Flashback! Marcie sits in Ms. Miller’s class. Every time Ms. Miller asks a question Marcie raises her hand but is never called on. Over and over this happens. I feel pretty bad for Marcie. She looks at her hand and is frightened to see it turning translucent.
Buffy knows what Marcie wants. She turns the yearbook to a picture of Cordy. Marcie has angrily scratched and drawn all over it.
Just then, a terrified Cordy runs into the library, saying that someone is after her. She begs Buffy for help, all the while insulting her friends and Buffy herself. She talks about how Buffy’s so strong and it turns out she thinks Buffy’s in a gang…or something.
Buffy tells Cordy that she’s being attacked by an invisible girl. She shows her Marcie’s picture but of course Cordy has no idea who she is.
No worries. The gang comes up with another plan and decide to use Cordy as bait. No one’s smart enough to think that maybe the invisible girl is listening to them right now, beside them, watching their every move but whatever. Giles and Willow are geniuses and don’t you forget it.
Cordy and Buffy have a little heart to heart where Cordy confesses that she’s pretty lonely even as the hot, popular girl blah blah that old chestnut.
Willow, Giles and Xander are still in the library. They hear Marcie playing the flute and follow the sound, hoping to grab her.
Buffy finds a grungy mop closet for Cordelia to use so she can put on her prom dress. She waits outside.
Willow, Giles and Xander are still following the music. They go down to the basement and into a large, creepy room where they find a tape recorder instead of Marcie. Remember, two out of three of them are brilliant. The door slams, locking them in. A strange hissing sound starts. It’s gas. They are alarmed.
Buffy stands outside the mop door and continues their heart to heart. She hears a muffled struggle and breaks down the door just in time to see Cordelia lifted up into the ceiling. Wow, I didn’t know that being invisible made you so strong! Buffy jumps up after her.
Xander, Willow and Giles run around the basement room as gas streams in. Xander wants to smash the door with a metal pipe but Giles warns him any spark will ignite and blow them all to kingdom come.
Buffy finds an unconscious Cordy in Marcie’s living area. Marcie knocks Buffy away, making her fall through the ceiling and onto a desk. She’s momentarily stunned, giving Marcie enough time to drug her with a needle from a doctor’s bag. Buffy passes out.
Buffy wakes up and discovers that she and Cordy are tied up to thrones at the Bronze. Cordy tells her she can’t feel her face – it’s numb. On a black curtain, ‘LEARN’ is written in glittery gold. They stare at it.
Marcie wheels a table with a white cloth over to them. She’s going to give Cordelia exactly what she wants! She whips the cloth away to reveal all sorts of sharp surgical instruments. I’m pretty sure Cordy doesn’t want that at all.
Marcie picks up a scalpel and waves it in front of Cordelia. She’s gone totally evil! Marcie thinks Cordy is a spoiled little brat and repeats what Cordy told Buffy about feeling alone even when popular, proving that she sneaks around and listens to everyone. JUST LIKE I SAID YOU GUYS DUH.
Marcie completely freaks out and slashes Cordelia’s cheek with the scalpel. Cordy is terrified.
Buffy finally manages to wiggle out of her bindings. She kicks the tray into Marcie and they fight. And by fight I mean Marcie punches Buffy and Buffy uselessly flails a lot.
Angel/David Beautiful-Wish-I-Could-See-My-Face-In-The-Mirror has come to lend Giles his copy of
Fifty Shades of Grey The Codex. I guess he has super hearing cause he finds them in the basement and gets them out of the gassy room. Since he doesn’t have to breathe he also turns off the gas. Yay, Angel! You’re the hero!
Buffy’s still having trouble fighting Marcie. Marcie mocks her, asking how she’s going to fight something she can’t see. Buffy stands still and concentrates as the camera slowly pans around her. Her eyes are closed and her hair floats in a gentle breeze. It’s a really pretty shot. If I was in charge I would’ve made sure Buffy’s hair was down instead of in a ponytail to take full advantage of the wind effect but hey, that’s just me.
Marcie makes a small sound. It’s enough. Buffy whirls and punches her, sending Marcie flying into a red curtain. Surprisingly, Marcie gets back up. I call bullshit. No human would get up after the Slayer punched them!
Buffy punches her again, knocking her down a second time. A side door flies open and the CIA guys come running in. They’re all, “FBI!”
FBI? Not CIA? :( Ohhhh, I just looked it up; CIA mostly operates outside the US while the FBI operates within. Wow, I just learned and so did you. It’s like Sesame Street all up in here!
The FBI goons take Marcie away and Buffy gives them the hairy eyeball. She figures out that this isn’t the first time someone went invisible because Buffy is smart.
The next day at school, Buffy tells the gang that she can’t believe how crazy Marcie went. Buffy, shut up. Didn’t you see The Breakfast Club? Ally Sheedy was so weird and angry because her parents ignored her. Hey, maybe all Marcie needed was a makeover and the love of a lame jock! Full disclosure: I loved the lace ribbon tie in her hair omg.
Buffy wonders how the gang got out of the boiler room. They all hum and haw and avoid bringing up the fact that Angel/David BoingBoing found them and finally lie that the janitor let them out. ROMANCE.
Cordy comes running up to give her heartfelt thanks for saving her. She’s sincere and sweet and Xander cannot believe what he’s hearing. Buffy shuts him up with an elbow to the ribs.
Willow’s in the middle of inviting Cordelia to have lunch with them when douchey Mitch walks up and asks Cordelia why she is talking to theses loooooosers. She immediately switches off Nice Cordelia and goes back into Snobby Cordelia, leading Mitch away while insulting the group. Awwww. I liked the glimpses of Nice Cordy.
Hey, I bet you’re wondering what happened to Marcie and the FBI guys! Cut to a super secret FBI building. The FBI guys are leading the invisible Marcie to an empty classroom, saying that she’ll fit right in. Turns out the class isn’t empty, it’s full of other invisibles. The teacher welcomes her and the class says hello to her. It’s night and day to her entire Sunnydale experience. She’s even more thrilled when she opens her book and reads, “Chapter 11: Assassination and Infiltration”. Marcie’s all, “COOL!”
If you actually read what’s in the book, it’s the lyrics to The Beatles song ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’. WHOA. DEEP:
“She’s not a girl who misses much: She’s well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane. The man in the clouds with the multicolored mirrors on his hobnailed boots. Lying with his eyes as his hands are busy working overtime. A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the national trust. ‘I need a fix cause I’m going down, down to the bits that I left uptown’. Mother Superior jumped the gun. Joy is a hot revolver, yes it is. When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger in your trigger. I know no one can so me do harm because Joy is a hot revolver, and he is afraid of the monkeys who are in possession of digital skeletons of Swiss cheese.”