Game of Thrones 4.4 – Oathkeeper

Before we dive in, am I the only one both extremely excited and desperately nervous about Lindelof having another show? That final season of Lost still haunts me, gang. But The Leftovers: that is my JAM.  (Long time readers know I’m all about the End Times/Apocalypse stuff.) BUT HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT GAME OF THRONES? [Last week, filled with amazing discussion about That Scene and more.]

I *hiss* ship it. SH-SHIP IT REAL GOOD

I *hiss* ship it. SH-SHIP IT REAL GOOD

Reminder that I’m Unsullied, always Unsullied. (Before Unsullied: nothing.) So…there was a moment in this episode that someone TOTALLY gave away in comments two eps back, and that’s not cool. Please. PLEASE: do not lace your comments with hints of what us non-readers should be looking for, because that’s a spoiler, okay? You LITERALLY have the rest of the internet to talk about this, as you Readers are Legion. Be a dude, don’t be a dick, okay?  

Speaking of helping a brother out, Dany’s beautiful handmaiden Missandei is getting Grey Worm hooked on Phonics (It’s sweeping the outliers of Westeros!) and I am instantly shipping it. (Look, I don’t have A ship, I have a FLEET of ships.) Dany breaks it up because it’s time to take Meereen.

I get that battle scenes are expensive (and they can’t all be Blackwater), but I think I would have liked to have seen a bit more here. What we DO see: the Unsullied breaking in through the sewers and making their way to the slaves’ quarters. What I loved about this is that there was no thought given by the Masters that a) anyone would go through sewage to enter the city, and b) that the slaves would be the Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains’ goal. Because why would they think that? The Masters never think of the slaves.

Also something I appreciated: multiple races/ethnicities as slaves. Always having them as Brown People is incredibly problematic (aka: racist), so that was appreciated.

Grey Worm and the other Unsullied bring the slaves weapons and encourage them to rise up, another thing I loved. They didn’t force them into this, but gave them the choice, something they’ve never had before. And they take it. KILL THE MASTERS. (Ha, the guardsmen running away to leave that one man to his fate! Sucks to be you, 1%!)

Cut to Dany walking to the topmost pyramid amid cries of “Pizza!” (I’m hearing that correctly, right? LOL) The remaining Masters have been rounded up, Ser Jorah throatily reminds her in a very sensual way that 163 children were crucified along the roadside, and so she gives the orders for the same number of Masters to be crucified in the city. Ser Barrister doesn’t like that, but she didn’t become Mother of Dragons and the Khaleesi by listening to white dudes say she should be merciful. Were they ever merciful to her? And the answer is NO.

Protip: when crucifying someone, it’s best to drive the nail into a wrist for better stability – longevity is the name of the game with this form of torture, and a hand is going to rip right off that nail. [shooting star-rainbow: THE MORE YOU KNOW]

Look, I think about little kids being subjected to that, and I didn’t cringe once while watching the 1% get theirs. Not once. The hand pinned to their guts – speeding up the toxic spill of their innards and hastening their painful death – was a nice touch. Also, raise your hand if like me you hoped to see the dragons looping and wheeling in the sky, diving in and peeling one of the Masters off their cross to be eaten? Just me? (I’m…a little bloodthirsty.) Her flag hanging over the Sphinx statue at the top of the pyramid gave me chills. KHALEESI! /sexy Jorah voice

KAHLEESI MY QUEEN!

KAHLEESI MY QUEEN!

Bronn continues giving Jaime sparring lessons, giving no quarter because that’s how it is in the real world. Greatest thing ever: Bronn grabbing Jaime’s hand and backhanding him with it. Ha!  He also gives Jaime shit for not seeing his brother in the dungeons, especially since they both know that Tyrion has great respect for Jaime – he even asked for him to be his Champion, not Bronn – and that Tyrion didn’t kill Joffrey.

Cut to Jaime smirking and being funny and bro-chill with Tyrion in the dungeon. (Side note: I love me some Peter Dinklage, but his accent was…noticeable this episode. There. I said it. Come on, American, step up your game!) Because he needs to be able to say that he asked, Jaime wants to know if Tyrion killed Cersei’s son.

Her son?”

Joffrey Incest Love Baby Baratheon = worst kept secret in Westeros. Also, Jaime knows that Tyrion didn’t do it. You can tell he wants to be there for his brother, that he likes him, but he’s hamstrung by his sister-lover-baby mama and his father. He also seems to be hamstrung by his promise to Catelyn Stark regarding Sansa. AND IF I MAY: writers? You’re doing an excellent job of transitioning from story to story in my opinion.

CUT TO: Sansa on a ship with the sneaky little fucker Littlefinger, who is giving off a serious case of the Bad Touch to our young princess. He also does the “I’m a villain, let me ‘splain you a thing” thing, because Evil Villains can’t help but brag about themselves.

Baelish: I’m on a boat and/ I’ll marry your Aunt./I had a plot to kill King Joffrey Baratheon!

Sansa: Le gasp!

Baelish: [twirls mustache, evil laugh] And you helped! Didn’t you realize your cheap-as-hell necklace was missing a gem? It was the poison!

Sansa: Le double gasp!

Baelish: [evil laugh intensifies] AND OTHERS HELPED ME, FOR THEY HAVE DESIGNS ON THE THRONE AS WELL! And you’ll never guess who, never. NEVER!

Me: Lady Olenna?

Baelish: Well, Sansa didn’t guess, so I’m still 1 – 0.

"You don't think I'd let you marry that beast, do you?" Best. Gam-gam. Ever.

“You don’t think I’d let you marry that beast, do you?” Best. Gam-gam. Ever.

And Margaery apparently didn’t know about this plot of her loving grandma. Let’s just fist-heart/chest-pound the awesomeness that is Lady Olenna. She knows about marrying jerks and the trouble women have to go through just to save their necks. And while she was good (she had serious bed skills, ahaha, I love it), she knows Margaery is better. She got that snapping P, them bedroom eyes, and it’s time to act on young Tommen before Cersei shuts that whole thing down.

(Um, isn’t Tommen, like, twelve? Eesh. Clearly the actor is, well, okay, to me he looks fourteen, but GAH. That would be a hard day of filming, if it goes all the way.)

But it’s time for me to panic with worry for our darling Jon Snow, the kindest bastard in all the land. He’s trying to train the soldiers (including a smart-mouthed nine year old with a great eye for archery) when Dick In Charge Alliser  grinds his boot heel into Jon’s knob, reminding him in front of everyone that Jon’s a steward, not a soldier. Because Alliser is all about saving his own face and not being smart and using actual fighters to win this war against the Wildlings.

AND OHO, LOCKE, THE KINGSLAYER’S HAND-TAKER IS THERE UNDER THE GUISE OF BECOMING A KNIGHT OF THE WATCH! Jon, you in danger, Gorl! And not just from the Bolton’s spy, for Knight Neckbeard is all, “Alliser, let Snow go back to Craster’s. He’ll probably die from it, and you’ll have One Snow killed by Two Birds [crows] most likely.”

It’s Booze O’Clock and Cersei is drinking her feelings. Jaime comes to see her, and we learn pretty quickly how she feels about everything: that wine will numb her rage. Kind of. Well, not really. She’s still pretty pissed about everything (I don’t blame her), pissed about her lot in life, about Jaime turning traitor to the Starks (“I did it so I could get back to YOU”), how Jaime is being nice to their brother like some kind of softy, like Jaime’s a Stark, because Lannisters give no quarter, Jaime. NONE. Speaking of, how about you bring her Sansa’s head on a plate? Until then, Lord Commander, you ain’t getting none of this [points to the empty hole where her heart should be].

[Note: since evidently the show has moved on from last episode's Scene, I will, too. There is lots of great discussion in the previous ep's comments, and I feel like I've said what needs to be said. And I stand by it.]

Tommen, Love Child #2 (will we ever see their daughter again? DON’T ANSWER!), is having trouble sleeping because of the whole “Roz was killed at the foot of my bed and there are dead animals heads everywhere” thing – kid? You’re about to be King. You can redecorate – and because his kitty-cat isn’t snuggled up with him.

But soft! Who is that coming into his bedroom? Kitty-cat? Well, that’s a part of it, and it’s banging… Lo, for Margaery has come to tell him a bedtime story! It’s totally cool for her to be there, because they’re going to be married.

Future King Tommen’s Bedtime Story of Awakening, By Lady Margaery Tyrell

Once upon a time there was a lovely young man named Tommen, who had been terrorized by his older brother, Joffrey.  Joffrey wanted to kill Tommen’s beloved kitty cat, Ser Pounce, and make Tommen eat it, oh no!

Joffrey terrorized Margaery, too. And Lady Margaery just loves kitty cats. Bless the wee little pussies! Pets her puss nightly; in fact, back home, she had a beautiful servant girl pet her puss a few times a day. Gave it a kiss, too…

One day Tommen might get to do that if he’s a very, very good boy. Why, Lady Margaery’s puss would belong to Tommen for ever and ever, and he could stroke it any time he liked, but until then, he’ll have to keep it a secret so they can live happily ever after.

And that, Tommen, is your special purpose. *forehead kiss, pointed look at the growing tent in the, erm, bedclothes*

And Tommen never slept again. He asked the Maester for special hand cream the very next day. (I freaking love Lady Tyrell, can you tell?)

This should happen once an episode. Her, that is. Rawr.

This should happen once an episode. Her, that is. Rawr.

Jaime does something incredibly noble and incredibly dumb. (IT IS AN HEIRLOOM.) He gives Brienne his gee dee Valyrian steel sword, the one forged from Ned Stark’s. And it’s lovely and moving that it’s to protect Sansa, but those aren’t being made anymore, bro! Just wait until your father finds out, oooooh. He also gives her a suit of armor and a Podrick, and damn, that’s a trifecta of awesome gifts, that is.

Brienne is moved to (almost) tears, tells Jaime she’s doing it for him because she gives her heart fully when she’s moved, and Jaime looks at her and wonders at how easily she does. Maybe wonders how easy life could have been had he met her and wasn’t a Lannister. She tells him that she will name her sword “Oathkeeper” and seriously, I want these two to ride off together solving mysteries and being awesome together. Like Moonlighting, but in a fantasy vein!

(softly sings) "I will remember you... Will you remember me?"

(softly sings) “I will remember you… Will you remember me?”

Back at the Wall, Sam and Jon figure out that Bran is most likely at Craster’s, fueling Jon’s desire to get out there even faster. Locke overhears, because of course he does. Jon addresses the Knights, giving an “I can’t make you come, but it’s the right thing to do” speech, and a handful of them stand, ready to accompany him on his quest. Locke finagles his way to join them, because of course he does.

(Side note: there’s a pig on a spit, not being turned. Now that’s just ruining a good side of meat, guys. Even heat all over, where is Ron Popeil when you need him?)

You know what we haven’t had enough of? Rape. (FUCKING HELL.) It’s Craster’s, and you know what I would do? I would napalm the shit out of that place and put those poor women out of their misery, that’s what. The Black Black Knights of the Watch are having their nasty ways with the girls (and I could do without seeing it, let me tell you) while their leader de facto, Karl Tanner, The Poor Man’s Willem Dafoe, drinks wine from Mormont’s skull. (That would leak all over the place. Terrible choice!)

He is raring to fight Rast, the guy who hated Samwell, but Rast is smart enough to keep his hide firmly attached and appeases Tanner. Before he heads out to feed Ghost – GHOST! Direwolf puppy!!  Waah, he’s all caged up! – a woman comes in with a newly born baby boy, and we know what happens to them. Baby Morsels, the lot of them. (And we learn that it’s been nine months since Craster was killed, since that was the last of his seed.) The women chant in a frightened way, “A gift for the gods!”

SERIOUSLY. PUT ALL OF THESE WOMEN OUT OF THEIR MISERY. After giving them leave to torture the men as they’d like, of course.

Rast takes the baby out to be offered to the White Walkers. Can I just say that as a mother, I was VERY DISTRESSED by that baby out in the cold with nothing more than a shit blanket wrapped around it? No socks? Head covering?? VERY DISTRESSED. The air grows cold, crows begin to caw, and ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE ICE CRACKS, FOR IT CRACKS FOR THEE, wee baby morsel.

Hodor hears the baby, wakes up Bran, Jojen – looking a little peaky – and Meera, and Bran wargs through his Direwolf Summer to find it. BUT HIS PUPPY IS CAUGHT IN A TRAP, NOOOOO! Before they can save him at morning’s first light, they’re caught by the Black Black Watch. Hodor is chained up and teased cruelly (“Hodor? HODOR! …h-hodor.”) and Jojen and his sister Meera are threatened until Jojen goes into a twitching epileptic fit. The hell? Bran admits who he is so Meera can help her brother. Things just got interesting, thinks Poor Man’s Willem Dafoe.

And then my FAVORITE SCENE YET happens: a White Walker (they all have the same face, it seems?) on a decayed horse – seriously, that jaw bone! so cool – holding the baby and making his way across the land of ice and snow where the air is cool and the stonehenges grow. (Immigrant Song Battlecry!)

The creature dismounts, places the baby on an ice altar (DIBS ON NORDIC DEATH METAL BAND NAME) and backs away. And then WHAT IS COMING, OH JEEZ. Until it’s directly over the baby, we can’t tell what’s approaching from a group of twelve. It’s a White Walker, but it has horns? Shaped like a crown? And a magical fingernail that when it’s placed on the baby’s cheek just under his eye, the eye crackles like ice and turns vivid blue.

THE BABIES ARE THE SPICE! THE SPICE IS THE BABIES!

Ice, Ice Baby

Ice, Ice Baby

GoT WW 2

TOO COLD! TOO COLD!

Okay, so are they using the babies as fuel, or is this how they make Elite White Walkers? My money is on the latter. We know that when you die up there, you turn into the Undead and must be burned by fire (or killed with the bit of Dragonglass, obsidian, whatever Sam has – The Shard! /Skeksies), so maybe this is how they’re making the Army Ranger/Seal Team Six Elite UnDead Squad or something?

I JUST KNOW THAT I LIKE IT. More White Walkers, please!  And next week is the return of Bad Boob Sucker, and I am both delighted and horrified to see Lyssa and her creep of a child Robyn again. Whee!!  This episode was more game piece positioning like last week, but that’s most of what chess is, you know?

How you feeling, gang? Enjoyed this? Waiting for big action scenes? Worried about the Direwolf puppies? And thank you in advance for not dropping any spoilers here. <3

If you want to keep up with when these posts go up & when interesting conversation springs up here, you can follow my Twitter. Or not. YOU DO YOU.

But click here for the next episode’s recap: First Of His Name

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100 Responses to Game of Thrones 4.4 – Oathkeeper

  1. Oh good, I’m not the only one who was shipping Missandei/Grey Worm there.

    As a book reader, I can’t wait for what happens next with Brienne and Pod.

    Ser Pounce! It’s awesome they kept in Tommen’s cats. And yes, in the book Tommen is a lot younger, they aged him up for the show.

    PS Lady Olenna for everything.

    • Grey Worm/Missandei for life! Oh man, they both would be so understanding of one another, both have so much personal/inner strength/both are so beautiful. I’M IN. GIMMIE. :D

      Podrick was SO HAPPY to be given that ax of Tyrion’s! Ahahaha, I love him, and I am so happy he’s not just gone, seeing as they’re not finished with Brienne yet (clearly), so we’ll get more. YAY.

      Lady Olenna is seriously the best woman on the whole damn show. THE BEST.

      • I’m also digging the blossoming whatever it is between Grey Worm and Missandei…it’s just so…sweet and almost wholesome, which is strange considering the shared experiences they are bonding over. I don’t think I’m describing that properly but hopefully you get my drift.

        Also …Pod is perhaps the most perfect squire fore Brienne …ever. They both have that unshakeable sense of honour even if it’s not always in their best interest as far as surviving at King’s Landing goes.

        Also – I honestly think that one of the main reasons that Jami sent Brienne after Sansa was as much to keep her /safe/ as it was in the hopes she could find Sansa and keep Sansa safe. Brienne is fully, 100% on Cersei’s radar, and she’s convinced she’s in love with Jamie (which …don’t get me started. I think Brienne absolutely loves Jamie, but not in a let’s hop into bed together way – then again, I don’t expect Cersei with her brother/lover to be able to understand the nuances of that). Getting Brienne the hell out of King’s Landing (along with Pod) was probably the kindest thing he could have done, but he was able to do it in a way that actually gave Brienne purpose and preserved her sense of honour.

        Basically I just LOVE Brienne/Jamie you guys, that’s what I’m saying.

        • “sweet and almost wholesome” – no, I think that’s PERFECTLY accurate. In a way, they’re both innocent when it comes to any sort of tender feelings, which is why they’re both so loyal to Dany. She’s the first person who’s been kind to them. And now they’re being quiet and thoughtful with one another… It makes sense to me, that tentative touch of Grey Worm’s to Missandei’s hand. (Awww.)

          And I can just see Brienne and Pod having a “Nice Stand Off.” Brienne wanting to show kindness to her squire by letting him go through a door first, Pod wanting her to go because she’s a lady, and they stand there for seven hours with increasingly frantic and concerned, “No, after you, I insist!

          Ooh, remember that Jaime watched Cersei grill Brienne at the wedding? Yeah, he totally is doing Brienne a favor by sending her out of harm’s way, I agree. And I don’t think Brienne has romantic love for Jaime, either. Brienne WORSHIPS Jaime, in that “oh, honor is so lovely and good” way, which is how I see her affection for Renly. It’s childish, in a way, like one worships a teacher or leader.

          • And see that’s why Dany is brilliant…because she actually speaks /to/ people not at them; she commands respect by giving it. The thing is, doing what she’s doing could so easily come across as trite and simple politics…a type of mindgame to win hearts and minds except with her it’s genuine (or at least comes across as very genuine) …so a lot of people will sometimes harp on that, about it being trite or cliche, but is it if it’s actually genuine?

            Besides…when you can sack a city by making the people already /in/ the city rise up and do it without losing a single person or actually having to send your own people in (beyond arming said slaves in city) you straight up just got enough XP to level your Badass Ranking. I’m just saying.

            The thing with Dany is…she’s not just a ruler, or a queen, she’s quickly being elevated to a status among those following her that’s almost religious in it’s fervor and view. What she embodies is so beyond that of a simple person. And it is exquisite to watch (for me at least)

            Brienne and Pod and the “Nice Standoff” …I…would watch an entire episode of that, I won’t lie. They are going to be straight up adorable together.

            I think I agree on Brienne’s love for Jamie being childish (and not in an insulting or belittling way…) I think it’s childish in the way that it’s pure. It’s not about her wanting to fall into bed for him, it’s a pure love that’s grown out of devotion and actually /seeing/ the man inside. And I think the reason that Jamie is so taken with Brienne is because she actually took the time to SEE who Jamie actually is, and even further than that, she pushes him to actually try and BE that man instead of the person that everyone expects him to be. People expect, to a certain extent, the worst out of Jamie, so it’s very easy to be that person. Brienne calls him on it and doesn’t let him get away with it and I LOVE THAT about her.

            When Cersei cornered Brienne at the wedding the klaxons started ringing in my head…and then when she also threw Brienne in Jamie’s face in their last scene, I think getting Brienne the hell out of dodge was Jamie’s best move so far. Brienne wouldn’t last very long if Cersei seriously turned her destructive eye on her, and once the grief over Joffery is muted enough for her to see beyond making sure Tyrion suffers for it, that’s exactly what would happen. I can totally see Jamie starting to pull back from Cersei as their views on life and what Jamie wants for his start to really split from one another, and when/if that happens, if Brienne was still in King’s Landing, she would be a physical representation of that split that Cersei could attack. Jamie’s not an idiot. It’s all just speculation of course, but twice now we’ve been drawn to what it says in the book about Jamie, and how he’s obviously dissatisfied with it…

            • pardon the interruption–i was really interested in what you were saying about brienne loving jaime in a childish (ie, pure-hearted) way. i tend to think of it as being even deeper than that.

              brienne initially despised jaime, because kingslayer. he was the epitome of everything ignoble and dishonorable in her world. to get to know him and slowly understand him in a different way–it was baffling to her, trying to reconcile the person she was starting to know with his reputation. this in itself makes gwendoline christie one of the best actresses on the show, imho, maybe THE best; she really nailed brienne’s confusion and growing respect. and when he tells her the story behind westeros’ best!worst nickname…well, he CAN’T just be the kingslayer after that.

              so in that sense, i feel like her emotional connection to him couldn’t be childlike in purity, because children don’t do nuance and subtlty. this is a very, very adult understanding of the vagueries and relative morality of making choices in the real world when there is no right answer. honestly, i think brienne’s friendship with jaime matures her in a lot of ways.

              she is going from a woman who idealized renly to the point that she would literally admit no ill of him to a woman who knows exactly what her friend’s black spots are (baring the twincest; does she know about that?) and cares for/respects him anyway. she did not see renly as a person at all but as an ideal of chivalry and All Good Things — and jaime was, to brienne, the walking talking polar opposite of that ideal. for her to befriend jaime is a radical growth spurt for her character.

              plus you have the brothers-in-arms thing, the friendship of being in a bear pit together and making it out alive, which is way above kindergarten-level, y’know? i guess i just feel like–yes, their relationship is platonic, but it’s also incredibly complex and adult, to the point that i think characterizing it as childish/pure is inadequate, at minimum. imho, ymmv, etc. ;)

              • Whoops, you used the word “interruption” when you meant “valuable thoughts to contribute.” :D

                That’s a great point – I used the word “childish” as a placeholder for “simplistic, genuine, straightforward,” but it isn’t, for the reasons you’ve pointed out. Perhaps that would better have been applied to Renly and Lady Catelyn, but she definitely has come to appreciate, to admire and deeply respect things about Jaime, hasn’t she? (And yes, I loooove that actress. Gosh, she is just moving. I would watch her stare off into the distance for an hour, let’s get real.)

                • oh, yes. i need more of her on my screen. when she looked back at jaime at the end of this ep, you probably heard the sound of my heart breaking. that wasn’t the soundtrack, it was my heart. lol. she just puts so much pathos into that character! it’s glorious.

        • Lyanna Mormont

          Count me in for the Grey Worm/Missandei ship. It’s brilliant.

          And by Westerosi standards it’s not just “almost” wholesome. It’s shaping up to be perhaps the healthiest relationship on the show. Well, there’s Sam/Gilly (when he’s not sending her away against her will) and Oberyn/Ellaria as well, but that’s pretty much it, isn’t it? Oh, and Loras/Renly, before he got killed…

          • Actually I’m going to straight up throw my chips in on the Oberyn/Ellaria having the 100% most healthy relationship. Those two are a delight to watch together, the way they play off one another. I’m thinking I’d like to visit Dorne, just saying…

            I also loved Loras/Renly…poor Loras. Can we all agree that when the arranged marriages started flying around that of Sansa, Tyrion, Cersei and Loras that Loras was, hands down, the biggest loser there?

            • I FORGOT ABOUT OBERYN/ELLARIA!! Yes, yes, yes. They are the healthiest of all, because they’re out, they’re happy, and they’re completely honest with one another. *kisses fingers* They are perfection.

              Oh, Loras… He really is getting the shaft. And not in the fun way, BOOM! (I’m sorry.)

              • You are so not sorry …and I laughed out loud, so please don’t be sorry. I actually liked that Loras got to get a nice snarky come back with Jamie at the wedding. There’s so much potential for him to be a fun character instead of just an airhead (though his conversations with Sansa about planning weddings made me giggle in the best ways)

                • Lyanna Mormont

                  I really want to see more of Loras that does not revolve around “Oh look, he’s gay.” He’s supposed to be a great fighter, isn’t he? Let’s see that! He’s grown up in a fascinating family – let’s see him interact with them! Maybe if the Queen of Thorns is really leaving Margaery will be talking to her brother instead…

                  • THIS. So much this.

                    This has always bothered me a bit (and not knowing how he’s portrayed in the books I don’t know if it’s “accurate”) …it’s bothered me that it’s stated early on that Loras was one of the only ones to ever best Jamie (if I recall correctly). So he obviously knows what the hell he’s doing and can hold his own as a knight.

                    We got another little glimpse of it when the Tyrells threw in with the Lannisters during the seige and they ride in with Loras in tow in his armor.

                    But beyond the scenes with he and Renly (which do admittedly revolve around the fact he was gay in that…he and Renly were doing couply things in it) it’s usually with people referring to the fact he’s gay, making fun of it, etc etc.

                    Again, like some other things on the show, we GET it. But that’s not all he is, he is actually an accomplished fighter. Please to see more of this, and him holding his own verbally against Jamie Lannister too please.

                    • Lyanna Mormont

                      More emphasis on the warrior in the books, less on the gay. (It’s only ever hinted at, actually. Pretty broad hints, but still hints.)

                      And yes, that zinger aimed Jaime’s way was the best Loras moment since the unaired scene from Season 2 where he mourned Renly.

                • Oh, I’m completely unrepentant. :D

                  The great thing about knowing there are two more seasons for sure coming our way, is that there are two more seasons of character development/story arcs coming our way. I’m hoping Loras is a part of that (as well as Brienne!).

                  • I’d kinda like to see an extended scene of Loras and Brienne interacting… I can’t even explain WHY.

                    • BECAUSE THEY BOTH TRULY LOVED RENLY.

                      O_O

                      Wow, I need this to happen, too.

                    • Well, except way on back when we first met Brienne, Loras was kind of a jerk to her if I recall correctly. Which, I don’t know if that was overcompensation or what, but yes I’d love to see that, their shared love and grief.

                      Then again, the running theory was that Brienne killed him by those that didn’t know, so um…Loras might not actually be so responsive to her…

                      I don’t know… now I’m all twisty inside about it, so it definitely needs to happen.

            • Lyanna Mormont

              Oberyn and Ellaria rock my world, agreed.

              It’s sad-making when you start trying to think of relationships that are completely consensual on both sides, honest, and genuine, and come up with maybe five in the whole show.

              • It um…really is…especially if you rule out relationships where one (or both) of the people in said relationship are now dead. (Because…Cat/Ned for life, that’s what I’m saying)

                Also, if you were to add “healthy” to that consensual, honest and genuine, that really cuts it down even further *sad face*

                • Lyanna Mormont

                  And even with Ned and Cat, it started out as an arranged marriage, and she was actually promised to Ned’s older brother first, until he got killed and Cat was promptly passed on to the next in line. (Sort of like Margaery with Joffrey and Tommen.)

                  • That is very true; I suppose I just didn’t count them on the unhealthy or unequal balance of power relationships simply because by the time we meet them (in the show anyway) they are so very obviously deeply in love. So at that point, it was probably one of the better relationships (though to be fair, the bits we actually got to see of them together were not that great in number, but the ones we did see were very touching, to me at least). I get what you’re saying though.

                    I guess though, when you’re dealing with a world where arranged marriages are pretty much the norm (well specifically in the high born circles) that being in an arranged marriage itself isn’t the negative part. Being paired up with an inbred, psychopathic brat would be the negative part.

                    Olenna won all the feels when she said there was no way she was letting Margaery marry that little beast.

  2. I don’t post a lot, but I obsessively refresh this site after the GoT eps waiting on your review. I felt like leaving a comment today.

    First – this is my absolute favourite place to visit for the recaps. I’m also a non-book reader, and it can be hard to read both a recap and the comments without being spoiled. I intend to read the books, but so few book-based movies and shows come out that I haven’t actually read them first, so I’m enjoying the not knowing.

    Anyway…I think this may have actually been one of my favourite eps of the season so far (though I’ve loved them all) – though I could have done without the rapetastic part of the Craster scenes. Can we all just sit down for a moment and agree that while giving murderers and thieves and the like a pass and sending them to the wall could be arguably okay (I mean, killing isn’t /always/ clear cut) that the rapists need to be that one faction that you don’t want anywhere? I mean …really? This is who you want defending you? But I digress…

    I’m glad to see that you actually felt like I did concerning Dany and justice vs mercy. I do absolutely agree that there is strength to be shown in mercy, I understood the point he was getting at. However, and this is a very big however, once you murder 163 children just to send a message…you kinda gave away any right you have to mercy. I’m just saying. You get what you deserve in that instance. I do not think mercy was the right thing here. Do I think, given the fact it was suggested that she show mercy, that this might likely come back to bite her? Absolutely… I just don’t think she was wrong. And if I were the (ex) slaves of Mereen (who were likely parents of said murdered children) mercy wouldn’t have been on my mind either.

    Hodor…poor Hodor, I spent most of that scene with my hands over my mouth, as I did with the dire wolves. I swear, two the most emotionally upsetting scenes for me have been what happened to the wolves. (First Sansa’s and then Rob’s). The Red Wedding was awful but the part that really just did me in was the wolf… (let’s not get into what this likely says about me. Leave the puppies alone, that’s all I’m saying, okay?)

    I’m still on the fence with the White Walker stuff, but I’m extremely curious to see where it goes…especially now that we’ve found out (sorta) what happens to the kids that the walkers take.

    Poor Tommen, I love Margaery but I got the “bad touch!” vibe through the whole scene, mostly just because Tommen is so young – even if Margaery is only meant to be about …what? … 19 or so I imagine here? However, she’s so very good at this game…and good luck on Cersei competing with the beautiful lady visiting the teenager’s bed at night. Though, despite his youth, can we agree that her seducing Tommen was actually /less creepy/ than watching her play to Joffery’s sadistic side? *shudders*

    I’m loving this season so far… and I’m wondering – after all the uproar over last week’s…um…scene with Cersei and Jamie, and the way it was sort of a…non issue? If we’re just…supposed to pretend it went down like it did in the books (since this was the one time we were referencing the books) and not how it was so unfortunately played on screen? It seems they are still trying to pursue a redemption arc with Jamie, so that’s almost how it /has/ to read.

    Nevermind that there was zero question for pretty much the rest of the world when viewing that scene that it was, in fact, rape – I don’t care what the director said (though not even production could agree on what that scene was apparently supposed to portray). But I wonder, if for the sake of our own sanity, if at this point we aren’t supposed to just insert the book version into our memories so we can stay on board. Last week’s scene with those two was just such a /huge/ misstep… and I’m /more/ disturbed that the possible intent was to actually show it as ending with enthusiastic consent. Because um…guys…if during editing that looked anything like you to consent, enthusiastic or otherwise, perhaps you should have a few women present to review scenes such as that? Just sayin’?

    So, I’ll stop the ramble now…as it turned out longer than I expected for pretty much a first time post ;)

    • I just made an (ill-advised) comment on another site re: that Craster scene. I mean, okay.It’s been WELL ESTABLISHED that rape happens a lot here. We get it. WE ALL GET IT. We could have the sounds of women being forced and the shot of that poor woman with the beaten face and know EXACTLY what is going on at Craster’s. We don’t need to WATCH SEVERAL RAPES HAPPEN. We don’t. We 100% DO NOT. At this point it’s fetishistic porn for a very narrow group of creeps, people who defend their use. YEP. IF SOMEONE DEFENDS THAT SCENE TO ME, I AM COMPLETELY CONVINCED THEY GET OFF ON IT.

      Gah. Clearly I needed to vent.

      I don’t know how the crucifixion scenes could come back to bite Dany in the ass, even though I get where you’re coming from. I mean, she set people on fire with her dragons – that, I would think, would be the coup de grâce. Because, as you pointed out, the Masters of Meereen killed children. It adds to her Mhysa mystique. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? (I cannot wait to find the hiccup in her plans, though, because you know one is coming. Things are working too well for our Khaleesi!)

      Ahahaha, I also agree with you re: Margaery being Bad Touch creepy with Tommen and yet it was FAR MORE enjoyable to watch that than her being with Joffrey. Also, Margaery and Tommen are almost a healthy relationship in this world, lol.

      And can we hold hands and commiserate with one another over the Direwolves and Hodor? Because ME, TOO. I was making sad faces and whining out loud.

      You know, with the Jaime arc (and Last Week’s Scene), to me this just shows how grossly out of tune the writers are with their viewers, that a) they believed we would see that as passionate love making between two people who were desperate, and b) that it wouldn’t be a problem for Jaime’s story to carry on. (And if you click on last week’s recap, at the bottom I linked to an interview with the director who says VERBATIM that Jaime comes in and rapes her. So he knew damn well what he was shooting.)

      For me as a viewer, I’m having to divorce myself from that scene because it was so wholly out of step with where they’ve been going with those two characters. Otherwise, nothing from this point on regarding Jaime makes sense. It’s uncomfortable up in my head, is what I’m getting at. =/

      BUT YES. You are delightful and insightful, and you can ramble all you’d like here! I’m so freaking happy to have such intelligent readers! <3 (Thank you for finally popping your head up!)

      • I don’t even bother to comment on other sites (though I read them, it’s like watching a bad trainwreck how they go at one another) because I don’t feel like being jumped all over. I do however have to agree that trying to defend that…it’s just…at this point, I agree – it’s a symptom of a bigger issue when it comes to the writers. I actually didn’t even need to /hear/ it in the background to know what was going on. A bruised young woman kneeling at the feet of that creep was enough for my brain to go “Oh ugh…so that’s how it is there” without the actual brutal display of it.

        Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually mind the nudity in the brothel scenes because that’s all consensual (and hey, I’m a girl but I can still enjoy looking!) but…at Craster’s…it just felt like really unnecessary, heavy handed harping on a theme that we already get…thank you very much (except no thank you very much actually). We get it. They are Very Bad Men who do Very Bad Things. WE GET IT. I promise.

        But really Night Watch – can we get a new policy that doesn’t allow already known rapists into your ranks? I’ll sign the petition.

        As for Dany – I agree that I can’t see how it would come back and bite her, it’s just more a sense of when one character ways to another “You should show mercy!” and the other character is all “NOPE!” it tends to be foreshadowing that mercy should have been what happened in that scene. It’ll take work to make me believe that though…as in, what kind of situation could it possibly be where that wasn’t the right decision unless the one making that determination is a slave owner. At which point …you don’t really get to weigh in on that in a meaningful way, just saying. However, I think you did hit something on the head though…things /have/ been going much too well; things have been entirely too easy (not that she hasn’t earned that because damn) which means something bad is likely to happen just…because that’s how this show works.

        It is kinda sad that Margaery and Tommen are (comparatively speaking) a healthy couple huh? *laughs* And Ser Pounce… oh god, as a cat person it made me just like the kid even more, especially after hearing how bloody awful Joffery was to him as well. Can we all just kinda get on board with why it is that Jamie doesn’t seem to be morning his first born very much? Because really…

        *gladly holds hands and starts a support group for the wolf/Hodor lovers* I just couldn’t even with that scene with Hodor last night. I ways also rooting for Ghost to break out of that cage and exact some revenge! And poor Summer!

        The Jamie/Cersei thing: what’s kind of crazy is I’ve literally seen two different camps involved with it where some state it was a rape scene and then other stating it wasn’t. Which…that disconnect boggles me. So yeah…that ball was not only dropped, but also deflated and lit on fire with extreme prejudice. It just…bothers me…but I’ve pretty much decided to do exactly as you said, in my head I have to pretend it didn’t go down like that otherwise the disconnect for me between where Jamie was prior to it, and where he’s going after it, is too great for me to keep rooting for him. It just…was so completely out of character for him, based on how he’s been built up (and I’m just talking show wise, considering I haven’t read the books either). So, my head canon is going to just have to be different from the actual show canon regarding that scene.

        Thank you so much for the kind words! You’ll likely find me here more often now that I sorta broke the shyness about first wading into these communities. This site is always so welcoming though, dissenting opinions can crop up without people going for blood. What’s the fun if we all agree? However, it’s definitely not fun when that disagreement turns into personal attacks as it does in some many threads. Thank you for taking the time to actually make these recaps and interact with your fellow fans :)

        • Goodness, I totally know what you mean about other sites. Normally I don’t comment either, and while I know that places like WiC.net have guard dogs policing comments, it’s typically for spoilers and off-topic stuff. There seems to be a high quotient of Dudes Who Like To Tell Women What’s Okay commenting there (which is no reflection on that site, but of fanboys in general. Which I’m sure isn’t news to you).

          And yeah, I don’t want to hear it either, but given the choice of seeing or hearing… TRUST YOUR VIEWERS, writers. We are fully immersed in the world you’ve created. We get it.

          The Wall is like a Federal Prison, in a way? White collar crimes mixed in, you’re never leaving but they won’t kill you (they’ll let the other inmates take care of that) which is an interesting and strange choice to have defending the border. Huh.

          I think with Dany, instead of it foreshadowing (this is just my opinion, mind you) it’s a case of “And this is how it should be. You might be thinking mercy, but that’s gonna be a big ol’ NOPE with a side of NUH UH and a soupçon of NOT EVEN CLOSE.” That’s my hope, at least!

          What a great point you bring up in Jaime’s lack of distress over Joffrey being dead! Huh. I wonder if it’s because he’s had to pretend Joffrey WASN’T his child for so long that no familial/fatherly affection ever took root? Or could it be that his whole world really is just CERSEI and anything to spring from that is incidental? Hmm. (And I am right by your side re: how people are talking about that scene, the ball being dropped, and how show-wise the characterization was just flat-out wrong.)

          THIS IS YOUR SAFE SPACE TO TALK! That’s the whole reason I built this site, truthfully, for fun, supportive, intelligent fannish discussion without wank. Please know that it’s highly welcomed, you commenting with me, with others, whomever. <3

          • Yeah believe me I get it, about other sites and the fandoms in general – whether you’re talking tv shows, books/comics or games…there’s a reason I generally play male toons in video games…you simply get taken more seriously when people think you are male. Which is a whole other topic on its own, so yeah. I’m not saying men don’t get an opinion on stuff like what happened between Cersei/Jamie and scenes like what went down in Craster’s. I am however saying that fellas if the ladies see it as a problem, who are generally the ones that this type of behaviour is directed at, that maybe you should listen and not dismiss us? Mmkay?

            Okay yeah…the Wall as a federal prison…sure…except…like you said they are the line of defense against the North. Maybe I’m forgetting here, but in the show, was it ever touched on if that’s how it’s /always/ been in regards to who joins the Watch? Has it always been a mixture of volunteers and criminals? Or was this a fairly new development when guarding against the things in the north was more fairytale than actual threat (unless you are from areas around Winterfell that still realise the danger). Because…well…there /are/ some good men up there, but there are also some I wouldn’t trust to guard a rock garden, let alone the safety of most of Westeros from the kind of threats contained beyond that wall.

            I also prefer your version of what that scene meant for Dany – but I’ve seen plenty thinking she got it wrong, going ahead and crucifying those guys anyway. I just can’t see it. Another way I kind of view it is…while they may be her advisers, they may be “older and wiser” than her…most of the times she has ignored their advice (not saying all because I can’t recall every instance) it’s turned out for the best because Dany is playing the long game…and she may be young but she does have wisdom (I think I at least). She’s proven that she knows what she’s doing (IE: when they thought she was going to sell one of the dragons – come on guys, you really believed the Mother of Dragons would do that for a second? Pish!) So let’s hope it’s actually just another example of her advisers trying their best to advise her, but actually just coming off as very patronizing…

            I read something funny in a recap the other day where the recapper mentioned not seeing the dragons and wondering if they were ever going to be “useful” and I was like *head tilt* you mean like how they have lit various people on fire and stuff? Even when they were cat sized they were hardly useless…

            As for Jamie…I’ve noticed that he was never really very attached at least outwardly like Cersei was. A lot of that likely is because he’s always had to act like he was nothing more than an uncle even when he knew he was the father. But with Joffery, I really can’t help but part of it was him knowing just how AWFUL Joffery was. As a person, as a king…and that really – let’s be honest – the world is a brighter place without him in it. And yes, part of it is also that Jamie’s world quite literally revolves around Cersei…but I really do find it fascinating to watch how things are changing as he also starts to forge other loyalties. There’s also that love he has for Tyrion which really is just one of the greatest things about him. Bronn telling Jamie that Tyrion asked for Jamie as his champion because Tyrion knew, did not doubt, that Jamie would ride day and night to reach him and to stand for him.

            Jamie has done terrible, awful things, yes but all of them you can generally trace the motive (save for that thing we’re pretending didn’t happen)…but I think one of the things that actually showed there was something redeemable in Jamie was his feelings towards Tyrion, that he actually loves and tries to protect his brother, despite how he has always been treated by both Tywin and Cersei.

            Speaking of Tywin, how thrilled must he be to finally have a Lannister that might actually listen to his instruction in Tommen? Because Tywin has just been a big ole bag of face palms where his children are concerned of late. (I won’t lie, I kinda love Tywin – he’s awful but I just love any time he comes on screen, much like Lady Olenna).

            And this site is brilliant (and has the best title ever…because I use the words “Don’t judge me!” at least once day lol)

            • (You earned bonus Flier Miles for knowing how to nest comments, btw.) My final comment about ladies saying “Hey, fellas? Maybe sit out a few plays, ears open, mouths shut?” is like me telling, say, a woman of color what racism is or isn’t. I SHOULD NOT DO THAT, IS WHAT I MEAN. =| *high fives you*

              You know, I have no idea what the long history on who joins the Watch is. Huh. Good question! I feel like that may have been mentioned in passing in one of the first eps of S1 when Jon joins, but since I wasn’t a book reader, I wouldn’t have committed it to memory, knowing it would be important. Time for a rewatch! :D

              Dany is def. playing this game her way. She has a unique perspective in that a) she was a slave herself (if only for a brief period, and not in a systemic way like the people she’s freeing are), b) she’s young and grew up outside of King’s Landing, and c) she’s a woman with actual power, unlike the other women. If Jorah and Barrister have insight on customs, people, finances, she’s usually listened to them. And then does what she feels is best. And so far it’s working for her.

              I’m just going to rubber stamp a “ME TOO” to your whole commentary on Jaime, his motives for previous behaviors, and his affection for his brother. (And oh, how I love Tywin! Scares me to death, but he’s so wonderful to watch at work.)

              Hahaha, music to my ears, that last paragraph of yours!

              • (lol the nesting seemed pretty intuitive to me?)

                I’ve almost given up my own insistence on not reading the books just to get some of the more detailed history, if I’m honest, but I know I won’t stop with book three, I’ll keep going because I chew through series like a fiend. So, right now I just rely on my friends who have read the book if I want some detail answered that isn’t spoilery. There were actually only ever two specific questions that were spoilers I wanted answered – and one was “Does Joffery get what’s coming to him?” I didn’t want to know how or who, just that it was going to happen lol

                As for Dany, I think she does listen when her advisers advise, but …in the end…she’s the queen. She listens, she considers, but the call is hers to make. So far, she’s doing alright…and I thinks he does consider things, especially since her own actions actually led to Drogo’s death. Granted, Drogo’s preceding actions are what put him in the position for that to be necessary, given how it is the Dothraki “conquer” but that’s a whole other conversation. Lord, she’s doing better than most girls (or guys) her age would (*coughs*Joffery*coughs*)

                • (You would be surprised!)

                  Hahaha, I love that you needed to know if Joffrey would get his dues. For me, I’d love to see Dany win. Usher in a new era of strength and empowerment for women, for the down trodden, to do away with the Caste system and Flea’s Bottom. She’s the only one who’d I wish the crown on, because I think she’s the only one who would do it justice. (HEY-O, tied it back around to her statement!)

                  • Dany was the other thing I wanted an answer about (in as non spoiler a way as possible) so we’re of a same mind there.

                    I’ve loved Dany from the beginning, and when they gave her dragons? Yeah, I’m all for Dany ending up being the Queen of it all. Because…dragons. Well not just dragons but I mean, me and dragons, that’s always going to stack the deck in her favour for me.

                    The only real concern I’ve had concerning Dany (and maybe this was supposed to speak to that somewhat?) is the fact that the Targaryens tended to be a little loony due to inbreeding and reasons (Mad King anyone?) is that this all goes to her head in a way that twists what it is she’s trying to do. Again, that’s just concerned speculation on my part…I know zero about where this could be going. But I don’t think it’s an unfounded concern, it would be VERY easy to sort of let what’s going down with her go to her head. That’s a very intoxicating thing that’s happening to her, basically being worshiped…

                    • I wonder if the fact that she’s been raised outside of the reach of the Targaryens/King’s Landing/Wherever they’re from lends to her not being the crazy one? Her brother definitely had the Madness.

                      And you’re right: it isn’t unfounded to worry that this might all go to her head and warp her viewpoint. She’s being elevated to a religious deity (her flag covering the Sphinx, of which I assume is a religious symbol in that part of the world) with the “Mhysa!” cries everywhere she goes…

                    • (had to reply to my own one there, my only option was PM)

                      I think at this point though (beyond it going to her head which would be a risk for ANYONE in her position, especially at her age, with her history) if she’s not completely insane after how her brother was towards her growing up, that she’s actually one of the more sane people on the show.

                      Because seriously…with the way she was treated and used by her POS brother, the fact that she still had the strength to stand up and go “Eff. This.” spoke a lot about her and what she’s accomplished since then.

                      I suppose walking into a fire to either die or be reborn with your dragons is rather a defining moment in one’s life though.

                    • there’s one huge BUT with dany’s mercy vs justice decision, and i think it’s pretty crucial (from a storytelling point of view): in every instance justice was invoked in this episode, there was an underlying motive. jaime’s underlying motive for sending brienne and pod to search for sansa was to protect them. jon said last week that they didn’t need to hit up the mutineers at craster’s keep (and, oh, sweet summer child, did i not need to see all that) for justice but to prevent mance rayder from picking up intel. which suggests that dany isn’t really interested in justice, either; i think it’s fair to say that she is PISSED the frak OFF (and who could blame her), so i’m guessing we’re supposed to think that she’s out for vengeance (and who could blame her) *as opposed to* justice.

                      and, from the perspective of character-building, she immediately shut selmy down without hearing him out entirely, which she doesn’t typically do. she makes up her own mind, but she’ll let you say your piece. in the dragon-swap situation, she had a specific plan, and going off on her waitingdudes publicly served the plan. this time, it feels like she had a specific emotion, and going off on her waitingdude felt a bit hasty. she’s not wrong to be pissed, and so far there has been no negative fallout in her conquests, so she’s been doing well and has good reason to trust her gut and her judgment…but i do think it’s unwise to dismiss someone you’ve chosen to trust as an adviser without even finding out why he pulled you aside (so he’s not challenging her authority or anything) to express concern.

                    • Lyanna Mormont

                      Those are some very good points, Marilyn. “Justice” is very rarely only about justice, isn’t it? That’s human I guess. I mean, the one person who might be able to separate their own emotions from the issue is, well, Stannis. (Supposedly, anyway.) And who wants Stannis judging their case?

                      Also, the way that last shot of Dany was framed. Looking out over the city in triumph while men screamed in agony. Standing high up above all others with the red and black banner above her. I don’t get too many good associations with that kind of imagery…

                    • HA! very true. dang skippy i do not want stannis judging my ANYthing. stannis should be more interesting than he is, dangit, just by virtue of being the only baratheon with a legit claim whilst carefully ignoring the fact that NO baratheon has a legit claim. that kind of cognitive dissonance should be story-telling GOLD. but one of my history professors always used to say that sovereignty can only come from the consent of the governed–stannis is the one person in contention for the throne at this point who has zero concept of that notion, and i am interested to watch that bite HIM in the badonk. dany clearly has that nailed down, at least as far as the people she WANTS to be her subjects are concerned. but i feel like she is gonna have to wipe out the masters entirely, twig and berries, if this is her play.

                      (this history professor, i am compelled to tell you, was the most awesome of all because he explained feudalism to us by relaying this story: once upon a for-real time, there was a lord who was quite fond of music. he built a long scaffold and acquired horns that produced different notes [horns were pretty low-tech at the time], then arranged some of his serfs along the scaffold and gave each of them a horn so that they formed…kinda a human scale. and then he would run back and forth along the scaffold and WHACK the serfs over the head, prompting them to sound their horns and produce the most insane music the feudal world had yet witnessed. the end! this completely irrelevant distraction was brought to you by the letter F.)

      • “I don’t know how the crucifixion scenes could come back to bite Dany in the ass, even though I get where you’re coming from. I mean, she set people on fire with her dragons – that, I would think, would be the coup de gras. ”

        Coup de gras ! Hahaha. It’s “coup de grâce”.

        “gras” means greasy in French. :)

        • YES, YES IT IS. *head thunk* This is what happens when you have a lightning fast discussion breaking out and you type from the phone.

          Thanks for registering to comment to let me fix that! You can hop in on the discussions, too, we don’t bite (even if we do have typos on occasion!)

  3. I am waiting for Jaime and Brienne to get it on and breed their own little army.

    Favorite moment had to be Lady Olena discussing her sexual prowess. That women is awesome.

    • HAHAHAHA. What tall, blonde warriors they would be!

      OMG, Lady Olenna saying the man couldn’t walk the next day… She’s the best of all of us. THE VERY BEST.

  4. Lyanna Mormont

    So much was so brilliant about this episode.

    Grey Worm and Missandei. Learning a new language, learning about each other, the audience learning about the characters… beautifully done. And then, well, I can’t help but think about what it would’ve been like for someone like Grey Worm, who’s been a slave his whole life, and recently became free, to CHOOSE to put on a slave collar. But he did it, to help other slaves become free as well. To fight back.

    All the Jaime scenes in this episode were excellent. (Which is somewhat creepy in light of last week, but there you go.) Bronn being a delight as always, and a brotherly chat about the comparative merits of dungeons. I noticed that while Jaime and Tyrion exchanged “Do you really think I would…?”, neither of them actually said “I wouldn’t / didn’t do that.” Am I being overly analytical? They’re not Littlefinger, after all.

    Speaking of, there were some very good transitions, yes. From “She’s not a killer. Not yet, anyway” over to Sansa, and then from LF talking about what makes friendships Grow Strong to the Tyrell women. And can I just say that having LF/Sansa and Marg/Tommen scenes in the same episodes made for some very creepy parallells? (They’re totally grooming their intended prey.)

    Brienne. Brienne is so wonderful. So genuine and honest and empathetic and honorable. She will do it for Lady Catelyn AND for Jaime. Who cares if one of them is dead and the other has shit for honor? They asked it of her, and it’s the right thing to do, so she’ll do it.

    I do wonder how careful Dany was about making sure she got the right 163 Masters. What if the one whose idea the crucifying of kids was got away, and some who objected to the idea were killed? Actually, did any Masters escape that fate, or did she nail all of them?

    Burn Gorman was very good as Karl, but that whole sequence was probably the weakest of the episode. Unnecessarily in-your-face rape, over-the-top “look how evil they are!” and very bad sneaking from Bran and the Reeds. Also, why are these ex-Night’s Watchmen keeping Ghost in a cage? Why HAVEN’T they killed him? Not that I want them to, obviously, but it makes very little sense. Is he supposed to defend them if the White Walkers come? Or is it just a symbolic gesture from Karl to show that he can boss Rast around?

    Also, tormenting Hodor is bad. BAD! No tormenting Hodor!

    Finally, I thought the aftermath of last week was all over that Jaime/Cersei scene. Have they ever before been alone in a room together and stayed ten feet apart at all times? Jaime walked a little closer at one point, but Cersei immediately moved away, then told him to go. Oh, and let’s not forget “‘Your Grace.’ How formal of you.” and “That will be all, Lord Commander.”

    • I think it’s safe to say that in with this show, there’s no “too” involved in analysis. There are so many wonderful things layers in this show, down to the costumes, the colors of the flowers (the majority of flowers in King’s Landing are red!), the designs on the swords’ pommels. It’s glorious!

      I wonder just how many Masters there were in town? Maybe she ended up killing the rest and letting 163 die slowly and painfully? UGH, you made a brilliant point about grooming, I was so skeeved by Littlefinger that it skipped my mind that that is PRECISELY what is happening. One to have what he’s always wanted, and the other to have…well, it’s the same damn thing. The difference is that Littlefinger has control over his fate and Margaery has only manipulation to get the best possible outcome to her situation.

      WHY IS GHOST ALIVE? And I’m with you: please don’t kill the Direwolf! THEY ARE ENDANGERED ANIMALS. I hadn’t thought about the Direwolves being a defense against White Walkers, hmm…

      Cersei is definitely angry and bitter over her relationship with Jaime. For us, the viewer, it’s because of last week. For her… what, exactly? Because of Jaime swearing an oath to the Starks? For befriending a female (Brienne)? For continuing not to despise Tyrion? For not doing everything Cersei asks when she asks? It’s still a little unclear – or I can just assume that it’s all of those things. (But I do hate assuming in a show as richly woven as this.) I do ache, though, for Bitter Cersei. She does have so many reasons to be the way she is, repellant as it is.

    • To comment on whether or not Dany got the “right” masters …not to make light of death at all, but…does it really matter? I’m asking it in all honesty not to be snarky. These were people who enslaved other people as property, destroyed families and were responsible for the dehumanizing of a group of people; a group of people that actually /outnumbered/ the free people in the city. Think about that for a moment. Even if they didn’t straight up sign off on using children (children!) to prove a point, they are giving their tacit approval by being slave masters in a city that is more slave than master. Sure, we can argue the whole culture of it, and what’s normal there, but it doesn’t make it any less evil and insidious. I guess I just can’t muster up much concern for her choosing justice over mercy here.

      Leave Hodor alone! That’s all I have to say about that.

      As for that scene between Jamie and Cersei in this ep…I can see how it would play like that, but I also think (and again this only works if you’re doing as some of us are choosing to do and just not even giving that scene from last week a place in our head canon) that it speaks to the fact that she’s being cold and distant because Jamie isn’t doing what she wants; which has never happened in the past. He’s bucking her demands and her desires and Cersei doesn’t play nicely with anyone who does that. I didn’t actually see their interaction as being very different than it was prior to that unfortunately shot scene from last week.

      Also, please let me be clear, I am not condoning that the scene last week was anything other than what it was: obvious rape. It was a mistake and a poorly written and executed scene, no matter what the intent might have been behind it.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Nobody’s condoning the rape, no. I can absolutely understand the urge to pretend it didn’t happen, I just can’t seem to do that myself. Maybe in time. And yes, of course there are also many OTHER issues souring things between Jaime and Cersei, not to mention that she’s still reeling from the death of the son she loved.

        On the topic of the Masters, I’m sure over the course of history there have been many people who owned slaves but who were “otherwise decent human beings.” (Gag.) I’m sure some of the Masters were kind to their slaves and would never dream of hurting them (beyond, you know, owning them in the first place). Should they be treated the same way as those who did mistreat, abuse, and crucify? Of course they shouldn’t get off scot free, but can’t there be degrees of punishment?

        And we need a Society for the Ethical Treatment of Hodors.

        • I hereby nominate you president of S.E.T.H. :D

        • “Society for the Ethical Treatment of Hodors”

          You, ma’am, win the internet.

          Re: Cersei/Jamie and “that scene”. I can totally get how you can’t just sorta replace that as head canon…so I can see how that would colour everything for you from that point going on.

          Re: the Masters. You do make a very interesting point…which really though is only viable as a thought experiment. By that, I mean, what master in their right mind is going to fess up to having actually been one of the ones to pull the trigger on that little plan and think it was a good idea? Your city just got totally overrun by revolting slaves and now the Mother of Dragons and the icon of slaves everywhere is in control. Under those circumstances, well… I imagine no one was going to claim responsibility there… it was simply a magical spontaneous thing that happened that no one had any hand in! (No one still alive anyway)

          So…while it’s a nice thought to sort the True!Monsters from Monsters!Lite …how would she actually do that without having the ability to read the truth in someone’s words? It’s also doubtful the slaves themselves knew exactly who was and was not directly involved in it.

          So while on the one level I totally agree that some of them might not be as evil as others (allowing for that baseline that owning human beings period is evil)…in this instance I think the scorched earth policy of “kill them all and let god sort it out” was a totally valid one.

          At the /very/ least the only…erm…criticism? Advice? …I might offer would have been that she could have put them to death in a more merciful way. It wasn’t made 100% clear what they were advising when they advised mercy. Mercy as in spare their lives? Mercy as in …kill them mercifully instead of crucifying them?

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Because my first post was clearly not long enough, I need to add to it – Salt’n’Pepa reference FTW!

      Also, I think that’s supposed to be a Harpy on the top of the pyramid, not a Sphinx.

      Also also, since Oberyn mentioned at the wedding how Cersei’s daughter Myrcella is in Dorne, in order for us to see her, either someone would have to bring her back, or the show would have to visit Dorne. Take a guess which I’d prefer?

      Also also also, all my love for the mention of the spitted pig not being spun. THESE THINGS MATTER!

      • I LOVE YOU FOR KNOWING THAT SALT’N’PEPA REFERENCE. Just in case you didn’t know.

        Ooh, a Harpy? Did they mention those and I glossed over it? Winged woman, yeah, I can see how it could be that.

        Yeah, given the awesomeness that is Prince Oberyn, I would love to take a trip to Dorne, as well. Surely there are a few more like him. YES, PLEASE.

        How do they not have a servant slowly turning that pig? That’s good food being WASTED, and this a time of war? PAH.

        • I don’t know if it’s been specifically said on the show, but I know people have said it’s a harpy in comments in the past.

          And by servant you mean steward, so JON SNOW! You know NOTHING about roasting pig!

          (I’m sorry, I just could not…NOT say it)

        • Lyanna Mormont

          How could I possibly forget that song? I was maybe ten years old back then. The 80s are deeply engraved in my mind, from Bruce Springsteen to Boy George to Neneh Cherry’s Buffalo Stance.

    • god bless you for catching that “grow strong” reference! i actually paused at that moment to ask my husband if he remembered what the tyrell motto was – he didn’t, but i squee-d a bit anyway. :)

      okay, and sansa with uncle creepy? it’s PERFECT! she’s always been the one stuck on the inside, learning to play the game quietly, to slip under the radar and be unsuspected/unnoticed. who is the king of slippery unsuspectedness? uncle creepy. his mistakes have been the times when he showed his hand prematurely (like when he challenged cersei that one time, silly boy). she can never trust him, but she can learn so much from him.

      if she can dodge his wandering hands, of course, but i think he’ll buy an innocent!sansa routine for a while, at least.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        I love when they make puns on the family Words.

        And yeah, from a perspective of Sansa learning to politick and manipulate people, Uncle Creepy (perfect name, btw) is an ideal teacher. The only thing that could’ve been better is if the Tyrells had succeeded in spiriting her away to Highgarden and taken her under their wing.

        But LF gives me the total creeps whenever he’s around Sansa. I fear for her. Then throw crazy Aunt Lysa and her son who likes to make people fly into the mix, and… Yeah.

        • omgosh, i need a AU spinoff that’s margaery and sansa being BFFs and mean-girling around highgarden. and olenna stopping by to school them when they get in over their heads (as they invariably would, because sitcom).

          but i think routing sansa elsewhere would’ve made uncle creepy superfluous, and i do so enjoy his weirdly accented sneakery. if sansa’s as smart as we think she is, and if she learns as much from him as she should if she’s paying attention, i think she’ll be able to manage him. she’s just gotta level up FAST.

  5. Lady Olenna is the granma we aalllll wanna be when we grow old. Just saying.

    Oh and I’m still waiting for Gendry-aka-sexymith to turn up and throw a spanner in someone’s works…

    • OMG, she is seriously my Life Coach. I love that lady!!

      HOW DID I FORGET MY DARLING DARLING GENDRY?! (I was distracted by other missing people from this episode.) And yes, I’m with you on wanting him to show up and make things interesting. And Arya shows up to save him! :D

    • HAHA – i can imagine few people who would object to having gendry’s spanner in their works. lol. GoT broke my shippy heart when it separated gendry and arya. :(

  6. The Grey Worm and Missandei scene was inspired. And seeing the White Walkers at the end was a great surprise for everyone, including book readers.

    It’s disgusting, though, that the show adds more onscreen rape (as well as rape threats towards Meera Reed) to the story via the Craster’s scene.

    I wonder how they’re going to handle Margaery and Tommen- did they age him up from the books just to add this scene of her petting pussy on his bed? I do like that we see her calculating how to make the best of her situation. Ser Pounce should also be promoted as bodyguard.

    I’m also glad that Brienne remembered her oath to Catelyn, because that was one of my favorite relationships to watch.

    • I mean, I feel like we’ve hit a rape threshold. WE HAVE REACHED IT, SHOWRUNNERS.

      Someone said in comments that they’ve aged Tommen up a few years for the show (without saying the actual age, which is fine by me) and I love how Margaery gave him a forehead kiss. He’s clearly old enough here (show-wise) to find girls attractive/get dreamy eyed over a pretty girl, but obviously not old enough to be Into Girls. Maybe theirs will be a long engagement? Which wouldn’t be ideal for Margaery, knowing how much Cersei doesn’t like ANY female companion.

      Gosh, the Catelyn Stark/Brienne of Tarth scenes were so wonderful. I really miss Lady Cate. :(

      • If they actually Meera to be raped prior to rescue (or whatever) then …well I’m not saying I’d break up with the show, but it would change things for me in a way that’s not good. I’m just putting that out there, you’re on notice showrunners *side eye*

        Re: Tommen/Margaery – I can’t believe I’m going here, and I don’t want this to be taken as me condoning it, but with them /having/ aged Tommen up to the age he is (this is going on the assumption he’s 14ish and not…12ish) then having it be a long engagement actually wouldn’t be smart. Looking at it from Tywin’s POV, they are running short on heirs that could take the throne (or at least be heir with a Queen Regent ruling in his stead until he’s of age) who are Lannister. It would be INSANE not to immediately get Tommen married off and producing another heir, again from Tommen’s POV. He may still be young, but he’s old enough to …well… and Margaery is old enough to actually carry a child.

        So…looking at it purely from a patriarchal standpoint where they need a male heir, and with the kings dropping like effing flies on the show, you’d want to get their heir and therefore Lannister claim to the throne fully in place.

        Now, if you’ll excuse me… I need to go take a shower for even putting that out there into the world.

      • It was good that she ended it with a forehead kiss. Margaery seems like a decent person alongside her ambition, noticeably shocked both by Joffrey’s behavior and his death. I hope the show maintains that balance- so many ambitious females are presented in a negative and/or aggressive manner.

        • I think she’s aggressive in a way that’s presented much less negatively than a lot of the others we see. She knows how to twist a situation to her benefit, but so far the way she’s done it has actually been in a way that is positive. I love Margaery and despite my post above, and saying it makes sense, I agree 100% on the forehead kiss.

          I did not need to see her make out with a early teenager…

        • I honestly don’t see a lot of ambitious females being presented in a negative light, aside from Cersei. (But I get where she’s coming from, even though I don’t like her way of dealing with things.)

          But I, too, hope that dichotomy of playing the game/being a genuinely awesome individual that makes up Margaery continues to be shown.

          • I want to jump in here with my middling anthropological history knowledge and point out that Game of Thrones takes place in a parallel to our world at around 1400 CE. Tommen is young, yes, but not too young to marry and sire, technically, in that world. In the books, he’s only two years younger than Danaerys. If they’re both aged up for the show in direct correlation (as Danaerys was, to…what, roughly sixteen? And she’s probably nineteen now?), Tommen would be around fifteen or sixteen years old. In the books, yeah, he was like 13.

            Now…not totally unheard of in that era of our own world. Consent was “meaningful” above age seven in Medieval Europe. Generally, 12-14 year olds were considered marriageable age. So if we consider the individual culture, Tommen is well old enough for consent and marriage and babymaking.

            It’s gross to us, yeah. We have different standards of consent. And yeah, I think it’s better now. But in that type of culture at that level of cultural/societal/technological evolution (being a feudalistic system) it is totally normal and natural. So. It’s a weird line to walk for the showmakers, I bet, and that’s why everyone is aged up, so they’re doing what they can I think? I mean, you know me, I don’t want to go around approving of all the rapey shenanigans the showrunners do get up to, but I think the ire is better aimed in other directions. This is, in my opinion, just a case of at least partial accuracy to historical parallelism.

            • In a way that’s what I was getting at when I was arguing against a long engagement making sense for Margaery/Tommen, within that world it would totally make sense for Tywin to push for him to marry and also go ahead and get an heir into the world.

              However, as far as just how strong a presence rape plays in this show, as Laura and I discussed earlier above, that whole scene at Craster could have illustrated the very exact same state of things there without actually showing multiple women being raped. That’s our main issue. Not that it exists – as that is how that culture is at that time and we understand that, it’s feeling the need to keep showing it, etc – when having it that blatantly stated does not actually add to the story.

              But as for the ages for marrying, etc, yes – a very valid point given the time period it quasi-parallels

            • Slight correction here, and then no more book talk. I promise!

              In the books, Joffrey is 13 when he dies. Tommen is about eight at this time, I think. I have no idea how old he’s supposed to be on the show – 12?

              Also, in the Middle Ages there were actually marriages taking place for political reasons where one person involved was a baby or a toddler. Look up Petronila of Aragon, for instance. Naturally the consummation had to wait in those cases, but the marriage was considered legal until that time – unless someone wanted to end it for political reasons, in which case you could use non-consummation as a ready-made excuse.

              Not sure if the show has a similar legal system in place, or if wedding and consummation have to go together. Since they haven’t given an age for Tommen, we don’t really know what can be done. Is he supposed to be 11? 14? It does make quite the difference. Sansa was 14, and that marriage was expected to be consummated. Girls are considered old enough as soon as they “flower” – but what about boys?

  7. My reaction is filtered down to two things:

    1. Baelish is so evil and clever and I just want to stare at him as he takes over the world one dead person at a time. Also he made a great pun in “This will make my new friendship GROW STRONG” hurr hurr Tyrell words I see what you did tharr.

    2. Is Margaery’s hair changing a shade or two in color every episode? It looks like it is, and I suspect magic is involved. And I would watch her and Olenna swapping stories of how they sexed their way up the ladder all day. Chinhands.

    Basically I want Margaery and Baelish show, with special appearances by Jorah (Dany can come too), Brienne and Jamie, Tyrion, Pod…basically…um…I want this show. As it is. Pretty much. (Without the rapey bits, I’ll skip that).

    • 1. OMG, “takes over the world one dead person at a time” is so freaking apt. And he’s such a little carrion feeder, isn’t he?? AND HE’S LORD OF A DEAD PLACE, quite fitting, that!

      2. Margaery and Olenna cackling over boners and the laying of them is such an utter delight, I can’t even.

      And hahaha, yes, ME, TOO on the the wanting this show, hold the rape.

  8. LOL, do you feel better?
    I thought you’d be absolutely rhapsodic about Sansa in this episode. After years of saying “Joffrey is my one true love,” she’s sleeker and smarter, and finally brave enough to ask some of the right questions. What’s a little confrontation with Littlefinger after what she’s been through? Do you think she knows how beautiful she’s becoming? Littlefinger certainly notices. He never dared touch her in KL. Now, in addition to being unctuous and self-serving, he’s become openly lecherous. Sansa, be careful, girl.

    Dany and the Slave Masters – she had to do it. Those crucified children were totally to mock her, and whatever power she thinks she has. “Right this way, little girl. We know what you’ve done in other cities. We know how you feel. We know this will infuriate you. WE DON’T CARE. You’ll have no power here, you or your slave army.” Oh yeah? Grey Worm was awesome. “One day of freedom…” I’m glad they didn’t show more of the battle. What would it be? Slaves running through the city slitting throats, blood running in the streets? That’s ok, I can skip that. I’d rather see more of Bronn, or Brienne and Jaime or Jaime and Tyrion, or have them uncover Varys from whatever shadow he’s hiding in, than waste time seeing throat slitting. That seems to be the new vogue in every show and movie these days. Pass.

    Cersei is becoming more like Tywin every day, more than any of the three of them, glacial and imperious. There was a time when she’d shudder at the thought of Jaime leaving – now she wants him to leave again, and not on a noble mission of war, befitting his station, but to hunt down and behead a 14 year old girl. Just because she says so. She hasn’t forgiven him for the incident or for calling her hateful. Nor has he really changed his opinion of her.

    All around, it was a great episode. There wasn’t one portion I didn’t like. I spent the whole fast hour going OMG, WTF, OMG, WTF. To end it with the ICE KING. OMG WTF

    • What those slave masters did with those children also illustrates just how much they over played how strong their hand was and how much they completely underestimated Dany. It’s not even like this was the first time she did it, completely overtaking a town filled with slaves and a handful of masters holding the whips.

      So, I’d really like to see a scene of how they really thought the whole crucifying slave children every mile for 163 miles was a good decision. I mean, that took her crusade level from committed to magical mystery vengeance tour at that point. Like it went from an esoteric “It’s the right thing to do, people should be able to have freedom” to …”You’re going to pay for each and every one of these children you did this to”. That was a braintrust in charge in Meereen, let me tell ya

    • I think Sansa’s “one true love!” schpiel in Season 1 was because she was a child set to marry a King, a boy her own age. She dropped that FAST and hasn’t been there in a while, and it’s great to see her come out of her grief and PTSD to get a little cunning starting to grow inside her. YES, PLEASE!

      And yes, yes, a thousand times yes, Dany HAD to do it. Had to, and for the reasons you stated. No mercy for people like that, none. I think as far as me wanting more of an overturn in power, it would have been nice to see a little more lead-in before man walking down alley, sign, DEAD. Maybe more signs as he walked along, build a little tension and atmosphere. Then there’s such a bigger payoff for us when we see him cornered. Just my two cents.

      I thought it was a tremendous episode, too, and it continues to be the fastest hour in television. (Ice King? They never called him that on the show, so if that’s a name in the book, pleeeeaaaaaase don’t drop those little tidbits in comments. People build off of that and then things get spoiled, like the necklace and Lady Olenna. That really sucked that someone spoiled that for me, I have to say.)

      • that is absolutely NOT a name in the book; people are taking it from the show’s blurbs and interviews being released now–i can assure you that book-readers were just as shocked last night as you were. WOW.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Sansa showing the first signs of independence was a thing of beauty. “Why should anyone trust you?” she asks Littlefinger. And while he may try to fob it off with answers like “I don’t want friends like me,” you know she’s wondering why SHE should trust him. Nope, she’s no fool. She’s learned the hard way not to trust appearances. (But of course, she does also have that longing for someone who will take care of her and love her and be there for her, so… we’ll see.)

      I’m not sure I agree about Cersei being like Tywin. I mean, both are ruthless, but… Tywin is ruled by cold practicality, always planning for the future of his family line, and he cares very little about the needs or wishes of individuals. Cersei is ruled by strong emotions; hatred for Tyrion, fear of losing power to Margaery, thirst for revenge over Joffrey’s death, fear for her remaining children. (Four men on Tommen’s door at all times!)

      And yes, what we saw of the slave revolt was enough for me. They were given a chance, they took it, it worked. (And even the guardsmen weren’t willing to protect the Masters.) It was framed as character development more than action, and I like it that way.

  9. ofmonstersandmen

    GUYS- I just found out that Tommen -well his actor- is almost seventeen. This is a relief, as I seriously thought he was 12. That scene with Margaery is a liiittle less uncomfortable now.

  10. Margaery’s hair: I saw Natalie Dormer in a talk show recently – one whole side of her head is shaved to the skin. She said it was for Hunger Games. I don’t know if shooting for GOT and the movie overlapped somehow, but I suspect those are wigs, anyway. Those hairdos are so elaborate, it would take hours to tease and shape them every time. Love the hairdos on the ladies this season.

    Margaery and Olenna: Priceless. Marge has to work fast, with Grandma leaving soon. Sorry to see the old lady make tracks before the trial, but she didn’t live to be her ripe old age by sticking around and allowing herself to become a target. She has to figure the light of suspicion might shine on her eventually. Marge will be at a double disadvantage with Grandma gone; Cersei already knows how seductive the girl can be. As soon as she gets a whiff of her on her darling, the claws come out full length. So, Marge has to make sure she is the head cat in Tommen’s bedroom and that the only song that will be sung there is Hasa Diga, Cersei girl.

  11. Wait, the Ice King – wasn’t Stannis bitching about not having Gendry to bleed anymore? No amount of blood-filled leeches will have any effect on the Ice King, will they, because, um, there’s no blood in him. Is there? Mel is going to have to come up with new techniques for this bunch. Wait til Stannis finds out there’s another effing king to deal with. How many is that, Tommen (is it TOM men, or Toe men?) Stannis and Ice king. Am I missing somebody? Does Dany count yet?

  12. Re: Ice King — oh heck Laura, I don’t know if it’s in the books, that’s just something I came up with because of what looked like a flesh crown on top of his head, and because he was the one who stepped forward from the group of them when the baby was delivered. I didn’t know what else to call him – Creepy Ice Guy, I guess, but the other name is faster to type. He was the one with the ability to change the baby into a blue-eyed whatever. So, I figured he was their ruler, and carried on the “King” label because the entire series is in largest part about battling kings. So, so sorry if it is in the books, talk about a lucky guess. I swear. If it is in the books, I should rush directly to a race track and project onto the horses this lucky guess vein I’m in.

    • WHEW! Okay, Ice King it is, because of the weird pointy ice flesh crown thing! (Just checking! I’m so gun shy after being spoiled, DON’T HATE ME! :D)

      AND IF IT’S IN THE BOOK, I WANT TO PUT TEN DOWN ON WHATEVER HORSE YOU’RE BETTING ON. :D

  13. PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!! Thats what we can chant at you from now on after all your recaps ;)

    Oh So So funny, everything Margery in your recap, Magnifico. And i swear i heard that little “the more you know” music chime / ding-ding-ding.. star/

    Very good episode. A lot more changes from book to show, but i will not comment :) Tho i will say im very very interested on where they are going to go with some of these characters now…. hmmm.

    • It’s possible I need to eat more food before watching an episode of GoT…

      I love that you heard the PSA/More You Know music! LOL. <3 Seriously, how freaking awesome is Margaery Tyrell? Damn, I love that character and actress.

      I’m seeing that people are commenting on how there are MASSIVE departures from the books, but I do not know what those are, and you are a CHAMPION AND SCHOLAR for keeping me spoiler-free! And see? Isn’t it fun not to know where things are going? Ahahaha. HEY, BUDDY! <3

  14. Yay!! Another awesome Laura recap! Seriously,thank you for the crucifixion PSA, I did not know that. I would have totally gone for theand as well, now this noob has been schooled!

    OK, I’m just going to throw this out there…. is it wrong that after hearing Olenna brag about her skillz (note the z, please), I really am kinda shipping her and Pod rick now?

    • I’m happy you enjoyed this!! AND YES, KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY CRUCIFY PEOPLE. It could be important one day in a horrible, apocalyptic hellscape!

      AHAHAHA. If ever there was a person who could deal with Olenna’s bedroom prowess, it’s Tri-Pod (everyone has!). AWESOME.

  15. Cries of “Pizza!”, hah! Great, now I can only picture the Meereeneese slaves as Toot-Toot and the Za-Lord’s guard.
    The epic fantasy shot with the Targaryen flag totally gave me goosebumps. That said, I have to say I don’t think Dany’s that smart. Her policy basically has one point, “Free the slaves” spiced with a little “An eye for an eye” (never that clever imo). Maybe she should listen to Barristan more often. He has served under her crazy father who liked to burn people who upset him, so he should know about these things.
    Also, how weird was it that the Meereeneese (that word!) would write “Kill the Masters” in WESTEROSI!? That was distracting as hell.
    I love the Littlefinger-Olenna alliance! And he’s not just explaining his evil plan in excruciating detail, he’s also schooling Sansa it seems, teaching her how to think like a true schemer.
    And Ser Pounce! I really wanted a credits shot with “And introducing MITTENS as “SER POUNCE””!
    Tommen’s reaction to Margaery was just perfect, the mixture of terror and awe evey boy that age feels when a pretty older girl displays interest in them.

    • OMG, I would have cackled like a fiend if they’d had “Chairman Meow as Ser Pounce” in the credits. Ahaha! And oh, excellent point re: mixture of terror and interest. That’s definitely true (even though y’all SHOULDN’T. They’re just GIRLS. Well, Margaery is not “just a girl” but you feel me. :D)

      So, the people of Meereen (Meereenati? LOL) writing in another language… That sort of thing always reminds me of The Da Vinci Code (ugh) when the word to open the “cryptex” – purportedly created by Leonardo daVinci – is APPLE, and not MALUS, which would have been the word Leo used. Heaven forbid someone says out loud, “Malus? The latinate for apple, of course!” Or in this case, “*jibberish*, Kill the Masters in Valyrian, of course!”

      Or the way I see it, if that’s our big complaint for this episode, we’re doing great. :D I am still Team Dany all the way, and love that she lets her advisors speak, then chooses for herself. So far it’s working, Lee… Hahaha.

  16. As far as Dany is concerned…I don’t actually think she’s a queen yet. She’s a conqueror. A really good one, yes, but still a conqueror, not a queen. She’s Alexander the Great marching from triumph to triumph. Being a queen means to actually rule over a place, to manage the affairs of a city/land, to make sure justice is served on a regular basis and people don’t go hungry, that infrastructure is kept at a satisfactory level etc.

    I can’t actually say yet if she’ll make a good queen of Westeros. I don’t doubt she could conquer it (I mean, DRAGONS), but could she keep the peace? Does she actually know anything about Westeros? The great houses, the politics, the people?

    Sure, if the White Walkers are coming that might not matter, but still. For someone who proclaims that the throne of Westeros is her birthright, she’s not showing a lot of interest in Westeros itself, I feel. Or in what actually happened during the rebellion (does she realise that her family was more than a little fucked up? That not everybody who stood against her crazy father was an evil traitor? Would she kill Arya or Sansa if she met them for being Starks? Tommen for being a Lannister/Baratheon?)

    • Isn’t a Khaleesi a sort of Queen, though? She’s on the move, as you point out, but she’s still managing her thousands upon thousands of people, their food, health, etc.

      I said elsewhere in comments that I would love to see her overthrow the old regime of politics/houses in King’s Landing, usher in a new era where women have power and are no longer beholden to men for their lives (or livelihood). I think she’s fully aware of how insane her forebears were, and she’s all about justice, which is why the show made a big point about it. Sansa and Arya (and Tommen, really) are every bit the victim of the powers she’s wanting to overthrow, so I can’t imagine she wouldn’t spare their lives/hear them out. Also, their main characters, so the show has a Job To Do, right? :D

      It’s almost like we have two shows, the one with the typical “Which army will prevail?” and the other one with ICE ZOMBIES come to eat all the babies, NOM NOM NOM. When the two finally meet… Ugh, can’t wait!

      • i feel like dany would judge people on their individual merits. she took selmy on as part of her queensguard, after all.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        The impression I got from Dothraki society is that all the power lies with the Khal. A Khaleesi is just the wife of the Khal. She may have some power over the other women of the tribe, but that’s not saying much. The only reason Dany got away with giving orders to Dothraki men is because Khal Drogo chose to indulge her. That’s what I took away.

  17. Isn’t Grey Worm a castrati, though? I’m pretty sure the horrible slave trader dude from Season 4 mentioned that all the Unsullied get castrated – am I remembering that wrong? Anyone? (Not that he and Missandei can’t still have a beautiful emotional connection, of course. There’s more to love than just sex!)

    I’m with you in that I found the Craster’s Keep rapefest almost unbearable to watch. NiNE MONTHS of that? I completely agree about the napalm.

    • “Isn’t Grey Worm a castrati” – Yes! And hey, he has a mouth and fingers! ;) While I TOTALLY agree that there’s more to love than just sex, there’s more to sex than an erect penis. (And seriously, how lovely would a deeply emotional and heartfelt relationship between those two be? I WOULD LOVE THAT.)

      Napalm, Agent Orange, Sherman tanks…. I’d vote for any of those to roll over the Keep. Blech.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Not that it makes it any less horrifying, but… It’s not necessarily nine months – it all depends on when Craster last impregnated one of his daughter-wives. It could be four months, or six… I’d assume at least two-three months, or they probably wouldn’t be sure that it would be the last. (No reliable pregnancy tests in Westeros, one would assume.)

      Aaaand now I’m wondering how many of the daughter-wives have since been impregnated by the ex-Night’s Watch rapists. Ugh. They just don’t get any breaks in their whole lives, do they?

      • But didn’t we witness Craster raping one of his daughters (or heard it) when the Watch arrived at the Keep? Like he was rubbing it in their faces? But – maybe it didn’t take (GROSS GROSS I HAVE TO PEEL MY SKIN OFF RIGHT NOW) and yes.

        At least when Craster was there, it was only one man doing the do. THEY HAD NIGHTS OFF, IS WHAT I’M GETTING AT. *tries not to cry, cries a lot*

  18. I’ll probably have a longer comment later, but when you say the last season of Lost haunts you; you surely mean that it was so good that you can’t ever exactly forget how it completely satisfied you? RIGHT?

    I feel like we might need a separate articles discussing that last season!

    • HAHAHA! We DEFINITELY need a separate article/post about that! It’s like a dish that was under salted for me, I can’t put my finger on it. I need to rewatch LOST from the beginning and go straight through to see if I still feel that way. ;)

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