Oh hey there suckers! I hope you’re all enjoying the recaps. I don’t know how this show manages to kill it ever week but they do. Did you all catch Tatiana’s spot in the SNL Digital Short on Saturday? I squealed.
FYI: Ipsa Scientia Potestas Est means ‘knowledge itself is power’. So this episode is all about power. Who has it. Who wants it. First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Previously: Gracie tries to smother Helena. Not with love, but with a pillow. Helena remembers some really awful stuff happening to her and her uterus and escapes the Creepy Cult Farm. Art sees her run by him but doesn’t give chase. He does slow down the posse that comes after her so there’s that. Alison wakes up in rehab. Donnie has a lawyer. Cal and Sarah take Kira on the road in Cal’s secret camper. Cosima and Delphine do an autopsy on a deceased clone, Jennifer, who had the same mystery illness that Cosima has. Mrs. S. is into public sex. Sarah snoops in Stone Cold Bitch Rachel’s apartment but then Daniel shows up and starts torturing her and then Helena shows up and is all, “Bitches say what?” and Daniel is like, “What?….gurgle…” ::dies:: and Sarah is like, “!!!!!!!!!!!” and Helena is all, “Those asshole Prolethians took my lady eggs” and then they hug. Henrik has managed to medically fertilize one of Helena’s eggs and it’s busily splitting in two.
Rachel’s apartment is getting cleaned. Blood is smeared everywhere. Rachel comes in with Paul and a concerned and protective Dr. Leekie races over to her, telling her she doesn’t need to see this. Rachel, ever the stone cold bitch, says she demands to see and orders him to move.
She bends down and looks at the bloody Daniel, then tenderly closes his eyes. She’s hiding her emotions but every now and then the tiniest bit shows. Just a little. Paul defends Sarah, saying she didn’t do this and Rachel looks at the childish stick figure drawn in blood on her wall. She knows it’s Helena’s handiwork. She slowly walks into the bathroom and sees the murder knife in a plastic bag. Picking it up, she shakily whispers, “Animals!”
Dr. Leekie says the security tapes show Sarah leaving with Helena and sounds thrilled that the twins are back together. He asks Paul about his trip to Taiwan and Rachel calls out that he ‘performed admirably’. Paul stares at Leekie and spits out that he did his job. Leekie pretends that he’s just clarifying Paul’s role, “Personal security?” but he’s putting enough innuendo on it so we all know he means Personal Sexer.
Rachel goes into her room, wondering what else Sarah saw. Shaken, she ejects the home movie tape and puts it away in the drawer. Dr. Leekie helpfully points out Helena could’ve killed her and this all happened because of Rachel’s ‘heavy handed tactics’ but Rachel’s not done with Sarah yet. Not by a long shot.
Daniel is zipped into a body bag and Rachel watches, plotting revenge. Byeeeee.
Sarah has taken refuge at Felix’s and she’s brought Helena with her. Felix is not pleased. Sarah defends Helena, seeing as how she saved her life. She asks Felix to give Helena something clean to wear. As he sulks by Helena she sits up on the couch and hisses at him, scaring the ever-loving crap out of him. Helena hides her smile as Felix runs into the bedroom.
Sarah scolds Helena and tells her to treat him nicely, saying that’s her brother and therefore one of the sisters. Family. “Do you get it, meathead?” Helena doesn’t like being called that and Sarah relents and says Helena’s name instead. Helena looks at Felix, “He is sestra?” and Felix groans.
Felix hands Helena her new clothes and she politely thanks him and gets dressed as Sarah takes her laptop and goes to Skype with Kira and Cal.
Kira and Cal are in the camper, still hiding out and waiting for Sarah. It looks like there’s more to Cal than the wide-eyed forgiving sucker after all, seeing as how he has a gun, I.D.s and a big wad of money hidden in a drawer. Side note: check out the Canadian cash. Yay Canada!
Back in the apartment, Rachel has a proposition for Paul. The announcement that she needs a new monitor surprises Paul enough that he actually stops glowering for a moment. He didn’t know she had one too. Rachel’s been self-aware since childhood and has advantages but is still part of the program. Paul asks if this is an offer or a reminder that he has no choice in anything they have him do. Rachel looks at him coldly and tells him it’s a promotion and it pays handsomely…in clone vagina is what I’m hearing. Stay away from Hot Paul, skank!
Rachel finds out that Dr. Leekie’s secret stem cell tests regarding Cosima’s treatment have turned up a promising result and is enough to start treatment on Cosima. Rachel cooly sips her water. “Shut down the test. Until Sarah comes to heel, Cosima will suffer.”
Cosima is Skyping with Scott, her old lab partner. Luckily for us, he’s an expert on genetic patents. He says that synthetic DNA would probably fall under the military and be a secret patent. Scott wants to know why he can’t come work with them on the super secret stuff. Cosima leans over and jokingly asks Delphine why Scott can’t come work on this with them and Delphine answers, “Because we’d have to kill your family.” Cosima repeats it back and thinks it’s a funny joke but I think Delphine was serious.
Delphine tells Scott hello and goodbye and ends the Skype call. She’s just found the tissue test results from a stem cell line that is compatible with Cosima. She’s never seen this before and realizes the results have been sent to her instead of Leekie by accident. Cosima points out that Leekie is supposed to share all science with them and wants to know why they’ve never seen these cultures. Delphine guesses it’s because they’re experimental or proprietary. I think Leekie sent them by accident on purpose. Cosima and Delphine both agree they’ll try anything to save Cosima
Kira is Skyping with Sarah. Cal has bought her a beautiful new coat and a toque with a leopard face. Kira tells her she’s not ‘monkey’ anymore, she’s a leopard. “You can talk to Daddy now,” she says and walks away. That was weird.
Cal comes on and apologizes for the daddy thing but Sarah says she can all him whatever she likes. He says he’s close enough to come get Sarah whenever she’s ready. He’s so boring.
Felix brings Helena to Art’s. He’s going to watch over her. Art frisks Helena, who struggles and protests that she doesn’t like being touched. Too bad, Art tells her, and finds a weapon – a pen hidden in her boot. “I wanted to write letter,” Helena tells them but Art handcuffs her hands in front of her anyways.
Art and Felix try again to reassure Helena that she’s safe here. Helena isn’t impressed with Art. “He lies down with pigs,” she announces, and starts making the most hilarious oinking sounds as she stares him straight in the eye. Haha!
Felix decides this is the perfect time to leave. He’s got a hot date. Good luck with Helena. He gives Art one more piece of advice before he goes: “Try food.”
Back at the Creepy Cult Farm, Henrik and Bonnie are discussing their naughty ginger Grace and how she isn’t telling them what really happened with Helena. Bonnie piously says that if Gracie won’t open her heart to Helena then she’s clinging to the old ways. She’s getting a punishment to fit the crime. Henrik sighs that the punishment has already lasted twelve hours. They walk over to a locked barn stall gate and slide it open, revealing Gracie. She’s kneeling on a bed of blankets, praying. Henrik asks her if she’s ready to tell them what really happened. Gracie whips her head around to reveal this:
Her eyes are burning with hatred and defiance even with her mouth sewn shut. Badass. Bonnie glares back. “She can rot.” She slides the gate back closed. Wow, these guys are hardcore.
Rachel’s watching her happy home movies. She tells Paul that he may report her data to Leekie but he works for Rachel. Since Leekie has known Rachel her whole life he was somewhat a guardian to her once her parents died. She thinks he’s too soft, becomes to attached to the clones, including herself. She can make the tough calls when he can’t and she ranks higher in the company than him anyways.
Rachel holds up a gun in a plastic bag. “This is Dan-“ she quickly corrects herself. “This was Daniel’s gun. It can be tied to the murder of a police officer. There’s no middle ground anymore.” Paul glowers. He’ll do what’s needed.
Art is trying to get information out of Helena but she’s busy ignoring him and staring into his fish tank. He asks her about the Creepy Cult Farm, but gets nothing. He switches over to her relationship with Maggie Chen, wanting to know how they communicated, how she found the clones. Nothing. Art thinks and finally comes up with a good idea-he makes food. Helena looks over.
Cowboy Mark brings Gracie some cold milk and a straw. He helps her drink as he plays good cop to Henrik and Bonnie’s bad cop. He’s going after Helena cause she has to carry the child they made in the lab. He urges Gracie to confess and when she turns her face away in defiance he leans over and kisses the side of her mouth. She looks back at him and he gives her a bashful grin and leaves.
Helena is eating up a storm and telling Art all sorts of things, like how, at the tender age of seven, she poked that mean nun’s eyes out cause the nun told her she had devils inside her and locked her in the cellar. The nun gave her darkness so she returned the favour. Who has darkness now, bitch?
She asks Art if Sarah know the ‘Swan Man’? Art has no idea who that is. Swan Man played god. Helena says he’s in her locker, but whose? Maggie Chen’s? She doesn’t answer and instead says she likes the tiny powdered doughnuts. Art sighs.
Felix is preparing for his hot date. He puts on a record and the opening piano chord of ‘Head Over Heels’ by Tears For Fears starts and can I just say I squeed? Only one of my all-time favorite songs. It’s been on ever mixed tape I’ve ever made and of course on every iPod I’ve ever owned.
Fellix gets dressed, applies his guy-liner, and fluffs his beautiful hair. He looks stunning and guess who’s his date? The lovely Colin. Yay!
They kiss and laugh and have fun as they make out. Colin pushes Felix onto the couch and dances over to him, pausing just in time to avoid hitting his head on the lamp and it is omg adorbs. Coling grabs the lube and holds it up with a grin.
It’s absolutely wonderful and refreshing to have a scene with a gay couple acting like a COUPLE and not having anyone tiptoe around the fact that they’re going to have The Sex.
He sits up and pours a ton of it onto his hands but just as he starts rubbing them together there’s a banging on the door and someone comes in. It’s the cops. Colin holds up his lubey hands and I laughed. “Ohhh shit, not again.”
Colin is escorted out just as Sarah walks up. She immediately turns around and starts walking away, worried.
Felix is not happy to see Paul walk in. He knows he’s playing for Team Rachel now. Paul sits down and puts on a pair of gloves. Felix plays it tough, even when Paul pulls Daniel’s gun out from the plastic bag. “What’re you going to do with that? Put it down.”
Paul slowly walks closer and Felix tries to stand his ground but he’s no match for him. Paul grabs Felix and shoves him down, forcing his hand open. He makes Felix palm the gun as Felix shouts, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! What are you doing?” in total panic. My heart is dying, Paul. Whyyyyyyyyy. Not Felix!
Sarah is waiting around the corner when her phone rings. It’s Paul. He tells her he has a murder weapon with Felix’s prints on it. He’ll be charged with murder if Rachel doesn’t get what she wants.
Sarah is furious and asks him how many clone notches he has on his belt now. Three? Paul tells her she has until morning.
Sarah immediately calls Art for help. He’s says he’s going to look into it and tells her to come over. As he’s distracted, Helena picks the lock on her handcuffs with the key on the sardine can. Art looks over to see the cuffs on the table. He starts to react but it’s too late; Helena grabs him and puts his own gun to his head. “Got you, Arthur.”
Gracie is getting her mouth stitches cut apart. It looks like Cowboy Mark’s visit did the trick. As soon as Henrik makes the last snip happen Gracie takes a deep breath of relief. She tells them she was protecting them. She tells Henrik she’s sorry. As long as she helps get them back all will be forgiven. Bonnie puts her hand on Gracie’s cheek and tells her if they don’t get Helena back then Gracie will have to carry the child. Gracie looks ill at this bit of info and jumps in pain as Bonnie ruthlessly starts yanking the stitches out of Gracie’s lips.
Leekie catches Delphine and Cosima snooping in his office. Cosima starts to lie but Delphine confronts Leekie about holding back the stem cell research from them. He tells them how Rachel is holding back further testing and confesses that they don’t have the original genome anymore. The fire that killed Rachel’s parents and four others destroyed it. That means they also lost several important synthetic sequences in the clone’s DNA, the ones that make them possible. They essentially lost the clone map.
Leekie tells them he’s going to disregard Rachel’s orders and give Cosima the treatment. Delphine and Cosima are very relieved.
Cal makes Kira a crappy dinner and comments on the picture she’s drawing. It’s Aunties Alison, Helena and Cosima. Has she met Cosima? Hmmm. Cal says he didn’t know Sarah has any sisters and Kira tells him they’re new. They look the same but she can tell them apart. Cal is disturbed by this and asks what she means but Kira just answers, “Someone’s coming.” It’s a cop, doing a routine check. Cal shows his fake I.D. and pretends that he’s just travelling home with his daughter and just as the cop is about to enter and look around Kira playfully pops up with a gas mask on. “Trick or treat!” she shouts happily. The cop is convinced that nothing is amiss and leaves. Good job, Kira.
Sarah finds Art cuffed to a post. “She escaped?” She unlocks him and finds the clues Helena left for her to find a locker. It’s Maggie Chen’s old locker and it looks like this is where Helena used to camp out and wait for Maggie’s instructions. It’s a sad and creepy place.
They find all sorts of clues: the most important being a picture labeled as ‘Swan Man’. It’s an old man, and it’s Rachel’s father. He’s might still be alive after all. Sarah hopes to use this info to trade for Felix’s release.
Art finds an empty sniper rifle case and Sarah knows Helena’s off to kill Rachel. They race over to her place.
Meanwhile, Rachel is getting ready for a special night with Paul. She’s wearing a negligée and a silk robe and coldly orders Paul to get them two glasses of her very expensive wine.
Helena sits with her sniper rifle in an empty apartment across the street. She has a Barbie doll head mounted on a piece of wire and is giving it a haircut. “A little more off the back, Helena,” she says, pretending that the doll is talking. “Yes Rachel. Of course. So pretty you are. So much money. So much money…” She applies some red lipstick to the doll and then to her own lips.
Rachel and Paul clink glasses. Paul’s just about to take a sip but Rachel stops him and tells him to put it down.
“Take off your shirt.” He does. Rachel circles around behind him. When Paul goes to turn around she angrily whispers, “Don’t. Move. Take off your pants.” He does. He’s angry and she’s very much in control of this scene and I’m just pleased that Paul’s about to get naked even if it isn’t really consensual. Does that make me a bad person??? :'(
Rachel grabs Paul’s face and shoves her fingers in his mouth. She’s very, very turned on and kisses him.
He leans in but when he goes to touch her she steps back and sharply slaps his face.
“Did Daniel like that?” Paul asks. Rachel isn’t cowed. “Did Sarah?” She spits back. Yikes. This is going to be some angry sexing.
Sarah and Art pull up outside. They find Helena’s motorcycle and quickly figure out she’s across the street from Rachel’s.
Helena starts putting her weapon together and it’s the kind of weapon that means business.
Rachel orders Paul to bring a chair over. He does and she pulls his briefs open to take a look. “Take those off.” He gives a tiny nod and does. She kisses the back of his neck. “Sit down.” He really doesn’t look into it but Rachel is almost panting with the man rape.
Helena’s all set up. She looks through the sight and watches Rachel and Paul. “Do you like my hair, Paul?” she says, pretending to be Rachel. “Daaa, very pretty, dirty, sexy Rachel,” she answers as Paul. “Like my mother.” Ewww Helena. You’re ruining it!
Rachel straddles Paul and slowly lowers herself onto him. The crosshairs are aimed right at her head. This could end up being the worst sex ever for both of them.
Helena hears Sarah and Art behind her and greets them. She warns Art that she’ll pull the trigger. She calls Sarah over to come see. Sarah isn’t scared of Helena anymore and immediately comes to her.
Helena wants to fix Sarah’s Rachel problem but Sarah says she can’t. They have Felix. Helena pauses. “Brother-sestra?” she asks. He’s in jail and if Rachel dies they’ll never get him out.
“Look,” Helena tells her. “Look, Sarah.” Sarah looks some binoculars and sees Paul getting ridden by Rachel. “Paul is unfaithful.”
Sarah doesn’t care about Paul. He doesn’t matter anymore. No Sarah, no! Don’t say that!
Helena offers to kill him then but Sarah and Art both shout not to. Sarah says only Helena can help her find Swan Man. Helena is hurt. She thinks Sarah is just using her.
Sarah steps in front of the gun. It’s not true. Helena saved her life. She’s her sister. She was devastated when she thought she’d killed her. She cries, begging Helena to put down the gun. Helena, tears on her face, does. Sarah thanks her. “You make me cry, sestra,” Helena says gravely.
Sarah puts her arm around her. “Come on, meathead,” she says affectionately. Helena happily tells her not to call her this. Art gives them a look of total confusion as the sisters walk by him.
Leekie and Delphine give Cosima her first does of the treatment. It’s a light dose, to see how she reacts. Cosima is so grateful that she has a proposition for him, on behalf of the Clone Club.
Leekie is in a bar, drinking a glass of wine. Sarah shows up and gives him the picture of Rachel’s father. Leekie wants to know where he is. Sarah wants Felix freed.
Leekie tells her to find him and he can countermand Rachel to continue Cosima’s treatment. Sarah doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Leekie is pleased to see the clones don’t tell each other everything. Sarah figures out Cosima has the same illness that Katja had.
Leekie gives her three days. Great, but if you follow us I’ll sic Helena on you, Sarah tells him. No idle threat.
As soon as she leaves Paul walks up to Leekie. Rachel had him follow her. Leekie says that what Sarah may find could be dangerous to them all. He tells Paul to come to him first, before Rachel. Paul doesn’t make any promises.
Helena and Sarah leave to find Mr. Duncan aka Swan Man. Apparently he’s in Cold River. Sarah asks if that’s a town. “A place of screams,” Helena answers. Ok, that’s not ominous.