Last week! Now, Ichabod and Katrina share early morning flashback cuddles, spent musing about all the swell kids they’ll have. Haha, it’s funny because their real kid is the Horseman of the Apocalypse! Geesh, I think I could live without that image of the spider skittering out of Ichabod’s mouth at the end of the nightmare forever. But then again, I could live without this whole demonic pregnancy trope forever and a day.
But here we are! *charges ahead*
At the polling place for mid-term elections — DID YOU VOTE TODAY? IF SO, THEN YOU MAY HAVE PATRIOTIC CUPCAKES! — Ichabod rails about the “disgrace” of 40% nationwide voter turnout. Abbie schools him about the right to vote; she would have been turned away in ye olden dayes three times over for being black, a woman, and not a property holder.
Hey, she’d totally own property if she wasn’t supporting Ichabod! Time for Ichabod to get a job, methinks. Should he be (a) a hot yoga instructor, (b) a very grumpy barista who makes the best espresso this side of Rome or (c) the most dreamy colonial history instructor of all time?
After Ichabod is summarily shunted out of Abbie’s voting booth and shushed for campaigning at the polling place, we shift to Katrina gazing at herself in a mirror. “You think I did this to you?” Abraham says when Katrina murmurs her illness is unnatural. No time for that, because Henry’s charging in with thugs who may or may not be Hessians to drag Katrina off for this “new purpose” Moloch has for her.
There’s a whole thing with Abraham lunging to help, getting caught in the sunbeams Henry throws his way.
Until finally Katrina runs through the woods, bosom heaving, to get rescued at a gas station.
“Feel better?” Abbie asks her cranky toddler colonial friend as she sticks her “I Voted” sticker on his lapel. “Yes, oddly,” he says. Grumpypuss.
Reyes swans in with police and politico pals, but there’s no moment to lament how out of her inner circle they are. There’s a “Jane Doe at Westchester General…a redhead in full colonial getup,” who needs their attention.
“You’re safe now, my love,” Ichabod tells Katrina, who has a high fever, a weird infection, and creeptacular black veins spiny-spreading along her abdomen. Okaaayyy. Abbie hustles them out so Henry won’t catch up to them; Katrina gets the leavings of “some drunk goth chick” in lost and found — seriously, someone left those quality leather pants behind? “I had no idea fashion changed so drastically since my era,” Katrina says shakily, because apparently she has not noticed Abbie’s outfits even once.
Katrina sets up a nifty little hex alert system back at the Archival Sekkrit Hideout and then has to answer to Ichabod’s jealous suspicions about Abraham and that bauble that lets her see Headless’s human side. He tries to get over himself, focusing on “the life we deserve” they’ll build when the war against evil is over.
Meanwhile, Abbie follows the maybe!Hessians to their warehouse hideout where they have an ancient stone tablet and more medical equipment than you can shake a very large stick at. Abbie snaps photos of the men and the tablet, and sees a corpse with the same creeptacular veiny business Katrina has going on before she skedaddles.
The photos, along with Ichabod’s research into Franklin’s notes about the Hellfire Club’s horrific torturous medical funtimes, leads our three heroes to figure out that Katrina is pregnant with the spider’s demonic seed. Um. It’s gross that her son impregnated her with evil seed he made. Just. Yeah. Franklin’s notes about the “expiration of the vessel” in 10-12 hours panic our trio; Katrina’s death is imminent.
There’s a flash of jealousy as Ichabod briefly suspects the demon spawn is Abraham’s, but the gang quickly finds passages that let them know a demonic “birthing seed” can be derived from Jincan (last week’s Evil Object). These guys are so lucky in research! Even the Scoobies on Buffy would often have to look through the entire library for like, a whole day. “My hex,” Katrina exclaims when the paper warning is set afire; everyone skedaddles to the tunnels.
Nice shadows and fog noir play as Abbie and the men fire at one another in tunnels and Ichabod and Katrina hide in darkened corners. Finally they all escape to St. Henry’s Parish, where Katrina left “Jeremy” lo those many eras ago. Katrina pulls her problem solve-y weight by exclaiming Henry can use his sin eating to remove the demon growing inside her. That sets off bickering about whether Henry is redeemable; Abbie is outvoted by Ichabod and Katrina even as she argues: “he means to raise hell on earth. How does anyone come back from that?” “I can do the math,” Abbie says quietly when she realizes Ichabod and Katrina are resolved to beseech Henry for help.
Henry turns up at Tarrytown Psych to answer Frank Irving’s distress call, only to find himself victim to a double-psych! There’s no emergency, and it’s Ichabod who’s there to speak to him. Back and forth to Katrina and Abbie at the church, with Katrina writhing in pain and getting more veiny and Abbie researching. Henry reveals to Ichabod, at the same time Abbie find the passage, that Katrina carries no mere demon but “The Horrid King,” or Moloch himself.
Ew. Ewwww! Gah, have I mentioned how much I hate this demonic pregnancy thing???
“The Demon of the Apocalypse is growing inside of me!” Katrina shrieks. Most. Dramatic. Line. Ever. She’s inclined to take the self-sacrifice way out, but “that’s not an option,” Abbie says firmly. They’ll find another way.
Ichabod and Henry glare and have a little King Lear quoting duel, but Ichabod insists he can “see through this chicanery.” It will plague him for an eternity, Ichabod posits, if Henry lets Katrina die, even as Henry says he wants to paint his hands “with both of your blood” and denies Katrina was in Purgatory to save him (he believes she only cared for Ichabod).
Ichabod pleads with Henry to read his sin, to see his suffering, but realizes Henry refuses to touch him. “You are sick with Moloch’s evil, but you can fight it, you can spare her, Jeremy,” Ichabod says, pulling out the big guns of Henry’s real name. If he has a choice, “I choose Moloch,” Henry says. RUDE! When Ichabod grabs Henry’s hand, though, he sees a vision of Jeremy running and crawling, crying, “Help!”
Say, what do you think Hawley is doing this week? Relaxing on his boat, being hot? Being sarcastic and surfer-y but ultimately helping some other people who are trying to stop the Apocalypse in the next county over?
“You must know I tried,” Ichabod says brokenly when he finds Katrina barely conscious on the church floor. “If I should pass,” Katrina says, not allowing Ichabod to stop her words, “You cannot give up on Henry. You’ll be all he has left.” Faith kept her going to save Ichabod, after all.
Ichabod and Abbie puzzle over the photo of the demonic tablet the possible!Hessians are hoarding. Abbie apologizes for the distortion, but Ichabod realizes it resembles the “Aurora Borealis,” and recalls Franklin’s obsession with the power of the Northern Lights to banish demons from earth. “I must internet immediately!” he declares!
“Sounds like a swine being strangled,” sniffs Ichabod of the dial-up screeching, but soon enough they’re reading Franklin’s “abysmal handwriting” about the Northern Lights. It’s a code that they figure out in two seconds flat, the printed letters spelling out a message about the tablet. Seems Franklin hid an aurora prism inside the tablet so fighters of evil can banish Moloch before he is reborn. If they shine sunlight through the prism, they can save Katrina and stop Moloch both.
When Ichabod says he misses “an army to assist me” from his ye olden dayes, Abbie says, “I know where we can get one of those.” Leaving a radio with Katrina, they confront Reyes at the station to tell her “the truth about what’s going on in Sleepy Hollow.” They tell her about the “doomsday cult” and explain Ichabod’s research “cracked the case wide open”. “Lunacy, of course,” Ichabod bluffs in order to seem not like a crazy person, but the cult’s experiments and torture are real.” Though Reyes hesitates, ultimately she puts her faith in “this “walking historical society” and Abbie, and the police are on the case!
While the Sheriff’s team busts into the warehouse, Abbie and Ichabod take an alternate route to crack the 3-digit code (“they’re a freaking evil club, try 666,” Abbie shouts when Ichabod thinks of more complicated possible pass codes) find the tablet, and extract the prism. “I can see why Corbin spoke so highly of you,” Reyes concedes as the bad guys are rounded up. “What did you say you did again?” she asks Ichabod. “Criminal profiling, with an emphasis on acts of historical imitation,” he riffs. “Let’s be in touch,” Reyes says, and apparently does not care if Abbie sticks around to do procedures and paperwork, letting our duo hightail it back to the demon-birthing church and Katrina’s frantic radio-call for help.
Am I going to describe Katrina’s heaving veiny pulsating body? Nope nope nope nope nope!
“We end this now!” Ichabod cries as Abbie goes into birthing attendant mode, and he gets to mess with the demonic tablets (isn’t that always the way?). Ugh, nasty stomach stuff! Ichabod smashes the tablet, extracts the prism, pulls slats away from a boarded-up window, and shines a rainbow-y light on Katrina’s dis-goost-ing roiling tum. There’s lots of screaming until red light disperses, and Katrina’s stomach goes back to flat normal even without a post-partum aerobic routine.
“Please don’t leave me,” Ichabod cries when Abbie says Katrina isn’t breathing. Even though Abbie would probably be the one to save her — can you imagine how many CPR workshops she’d have to take with her job? — Ichabod puts his observations of Hawley saving Abbie’s life last week to good use, and brings his wife back to life. “You were here,” Katrina says to him, dazed. “Where I belong,” Ichabod responds lovingly. “Whereas I belong elsewhere,” Abbie says with a huff of laughter.
How are you all doing, IchAbbie fans? *holds you*
“Holding her just now, is a joy I’ve not felt in an age,” Ichabod tells Abbie outside the church. Dude, keep your secrets of maintaining a joyful married life through 231 years of undead hibernating and purgatorial dwelling reunion narrative quiet, okay? I don’t want Abbie feeling lonesome!
But Abbie’s focused on their larger fight, mentioning, “At least we know where Henry stands.” Uh oh, Ichabod is silent. He tells her of the memory which he believes Henry didn’t mean for him to see, but Abbie voices my suspicions that Henry engineered that vision. Well, at least they stopped Moloch. Declaring today a win, Ichabod performs a flawless fist-bump with the pfooo! explode-y gesture at the end.
Thunder and lightning roil the night sky, centering over Henry’s colonial pad. The storm outside takes a focus inside, on a jar alight with electricity. Is it demonic electricity? Probably! That Henry! Always up to something evil! *shakes head and laughs indulgently*
Next week! Some kind of succubus type woman? Something spoopy, that’s for sure! Join me then for “Heartless” and abso-positiv-definitely tell me what you thought of this week’s ep in comments. Just keep your love, should you have any, for demonic pregnancy to yourself, okay? Ew. Ewwwww! *full body shudder* So glad we’re done with that nastiness!