Walking Dead 5.14 – Spend

Previously! Father Gabriel is setting up a new chapel. Alexandria found work for him, too. A gift of strawberries from someone named Rosemary has him freaking. He tears a page out, then more and more, ripping the book into shreds. DAMN SON, YOU LEFT HARD.

Father Gabriel Walking Dead,Walking Dead Father Gabriel, Seth Gilliam Father Gabriel

Fun fact! Rosemary mythologically is a symbol for remembrance of the dead. Can’t stop remembering the people you locked out of your church, Gabriel? And strawberries symbolize purity, passion and healing. I guess there won’t be healing as long as he can still remember his own dead, huh?

But enough about him. I came here to chew bubblegum and get turned on by Daryl Dixon on a motorcycle, and I’m all out of bubblegum. [dirty bass line]

NGL, I laughed at the book light jammed in one of the front headlight jacks on Daryl’s bike.

Noah meets with NPR chairperson, Reg, wanting to learn how to build, how to maintain Alexandria, how to make this house a home. Reg wets himself with excitement over the idea that Noah wants to stay, and gives him his own journal to record everything, just like Reg does.

SIDE TOPIC: Information, along with toilet paper, condoms, and tampons, will be the Apocalyptic World’s currency. One of the best stories I’ve read that deals with this topic is a short in Paolo Bacigalupi’s first book, Pump Six. HIGHLY recommend. When people learn technology–the complete ins and outs of, say, building solar power–you would memorize every step and have them tattooed into your skin. A wo/man of letters is literally someone covered in words. So much love.

Sidetracked, sorry.

Aiden takes Eugene, Glenn, Tara and Noah on a hunt for electronics so Dr. Mullet can install said shit; it seems the solar power system was a prototype and breaks often. And ahaha, Eugene totally makes me think he’s a guy who wore his A+ Certification like a badge of honor. Muhfuh, we all got trained in that shit, it’s step one. /IT hazing

They get to Allied Technologies to ransack the warehouse for parts when Glenn cautions them not to just trust one in and out, but to do a perimeter check for, you know, SAFETY.

Red Shirt BFF Nicholas is all, “Uh, we got this, lol,” and after a few moments, Aiden condescends to do a perimeter check, and “Good one, Glenn! Look at you knowing something! [head pat]” I hate this guy on sight. Tara babysits Eugene, who insists that he’s a peeper, not a fighter and will probably fall down and show his belly at first sight of danger. So you know, heads up on that.

Good thing Glenn did a check, because there are loads of Walkers at the front where they just were. They go in the back entrance, our team working well to sweep shelf after massive shelf. They find a chain link fence with dozens of Walkers trapped. Aiden can’t help but be impressed by how Glenn guessed that was what was going on.

“Well, we were out there a long time,” Tara explains. Duh.

Noah Walking Dead,Walking Dead Noah

I have only been with these people a few weeks and I’m already Level 10 on Hardcore mode, bro. You have GOT to step up, AIden.

While Tara and Eugene locate the equipment, Aiden goes wandering, coming face to face with a Walker in riot gear. He stupidly shoots the face mask, then hits the legs, loading it up with lead as Glenn tells him to stop. Guess who should have listened? Aiden, who blasts a grenade, a fire bomb blowing up in the narrow tunnels between the shelves.

Aiden got himself killed, it seems. Red Shirt BFF finds him, Glenn and Noah go looking for Eugene and Tara, who’s knocked out. Walkers start infiltrating the space, almost getting Dr. Mullet, until Glenn and Noah save the day and get Tara out. Well, that’s a FUBAR recon mission if ever I saw one.

Tara’s injury is life-threatening, so they’re trying to get her out quickly when Aiden says something. Holy shit, he’s not dead?! He’s crucified on a twisted bit of shelving with Walkers all around (can they not get to him? Tasty shish kabob right there!), and Glenn, Noah and Red Shirt BFF decide to try and rescue him. DUMB DUMB DUMB.

Eugene, stuck with Tara, says, “Remember how I said I was a coward? Well, I’m going to actually try not to be.” He throws Tara over his shoulder, loads up, and goes for broke on getting out of there. LOOK AT THE HERO ON  DR. MUDFLAP!

Glenn has to get Red Shirt to buck up so he can stomach pulling Aiden off the rebar, but he’s not going to help. “You left them. We both left them,” he hisses at Aiden. Oho! Aiden and BFF left those four people to die, they didn’t panic and die as we’d all been led to believe!

Glenn tries once more to pull him, Noah grabs him away—they have to make a break for it. INSTANTLY Walkers fall on Chicken Satay and he’s alive as they rip his guts out. Damn, went out William Wallace style, yeesh. (But you know, without the heroism and inspiring message for freeeeeeeeeeedom.)

Aiden Walking Dead crucified,crucified Walking Dead Aiden

Aiden bites it. Or rather they bite him. HURR I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK TRY THE CHICKEN. (And please note that he was crucified, yet another biblical reference)

They run and eventually get trapped in a revolving door and I just can’t believe those three can hold it in position with all those Walkers pushing on the other sides. Maybe they’ll push it so fast they all go spinning and swap out their places with more Walkers, trapping them inside Looney Tunes style! (Probably not.)

Abraham and a couple of grunts head out to a construction site to grab corrugated steel—times are evidently good enough that Alexandria is going to expand the wall. Abraham looks off into the woods, sees birds take flight, and quietly gets his weapon within grabbing distance. Will he need it? Is this just paranoia? Nope! It’s the Zombie Apocalypse! So he’s always gonna be right to grab a weapon. Walkers pour out of the woods.

Tobin, the guy flirting with Carol last week, shoots wild, blows the hydraulics on a front-end loader, tipping a lady named Francine out right into a pile of Walkers. Goddammit, Tobin, who is all “shrug” about saving her, so Abraham steps up, gets to her, gets her safely in the cab of the truck and then realizes he’s trapped.

“Mother dick.” Ahahaha.

He’s smart, gets under the truck so they follow him and are trapped, enabling him to lay a wave of bullets into their skulls, slip out to the other side where a nice cattle shoot has been formed, leaving him to take them out one by one, leveling up his Melee.

Abraham Ford Walking Dead,Walking Dead Abraham Ford

PTT! PTT! PTT! 3 for 3!

The Alexandria crew are marveling that he’s still alive. Uh, yeah. That’s sort of this thang.

Speaking of thangs and stuff, Rick investigates a “crime” of Jessie’s sculpture getting wrecked, and Mr. Sheriff is on it, Ma’am.

Rick Grimes Walking Dead

Ma’am, do you have any enemies? Would you like to have a friend? A… special friend? (me: YES)

He later gets paid a visit by Porch Dick, bearing gifts of brewskis. Rick’s good, thanks, but Porch Dick, already pretty toasty, doesn’t like it. (Raise your hand if you think Porch Dick destroyed his wife’s sculpture at this point?) He lays some “hey, we suffered here, too, okay? [stagger] So bring your kids in for a check up! Lessbe frands.” Uh, how about no?

Abraham gives Tobin shit for leaving Francine to die, and she also gets a lick in. Those two are ready to keep working even though Tobin was up for turning tail and running. Abraham goes right into leadership mode. Back at home, Tobin confesses his terrible work ethic to Deanna, Reg, and Maggie, saying Abraham should get the job. Well, that’s nice! But Deanna doesn’t like putting another of our crew in a power position. But hey, it’s because they know what they’re doing and Deanna’s people don’t, really.

During all of this, dumbest child in the world has slipped into Carol’s house wanting cookies. She all but kicks his butt out the door, telling him he better steal her some chocolate and then she’ll show him how to make them himself. Give a brat a cookie, he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to steal, and you’ll have chocolate forever.

Brat actually shows up with the chocolate, son of a… Carol will make those cookies, but she won’t like a minute of it. She doesn’t want to talk to this kid, doesn’t want to make nice. But she does learn that Brat is the one who broke the owl statue. Oho!

Brat: Why did you steal the guns?

Carole: …because sometimes you need to protect yourself. [narrows eyes, picks up on signs]

Brat: Can I have a gun?


Carol: Why do you want one?

Brat: It’s not for me.

Carol: Who’s it for?

Brat: [takes off running]

[40s radio announcer voice] It’s not looking too good for our heroes trapped in the revolving door of the warehouse! I bet those Walkers would like to take their brains for a spin!

…AND THEN OUT OF THE DARKNESS, AN ANGEL COMES BEARING DUB-STEP. Eugene has made it to the van, blasts their mix, distracts the Walkers so our guys can make a safe break for it. EXCEPT. The door can only save one side. Or! Glenn could break the glass so they’re all saved!

GUESS WHO RUINS THIS PLAN? Dickless Wonder BFF, who slips out, leaving an opening for Noah to get grabbed and HOLY SHIT, Noah is dead!! Glenn is forced to witness this in all it’s horror! Oh my GOD. Nope, not watching. This is Buttons-level horrible. Glenn is stuck sitting, shaking, horrified. ME, TOO.

[woefully sobs "Everybody aaaaaaate Chris!"] WORST. DEATH. EVER. D:

[woefully sobs “Everybody aaaaaaate Chris!”] WORST. DEATH. EVER. D:

Dickless Red Shirt runs to the van, tries to pull Eugene out and says “Schnell, schnell!” But Eugene has found his inner strength and stands up to him, giving Glenn enough time to get there and knock Dickless out. And Glenn actually puts this dangerous citizen in the back of the van to take him to Alexandria! Maybe to have him bear witness? Proof of the dumbasses running the place? I don’t trust it.

Carol knocks on Porch Dick’s door and he evades letting her see Brat or Jessie. Yep! That thars an abuser.

Carol Peletier Walking Dead

Carol: You smell that?
Porch Dick: What?
Carol: SUNUVABITCH. You got that stink all over you.

Carol tells Rick Porch Dick is beating his family. Rick gets a glint in his eye that doesn’t bode well for Porch Dick. Carol knows how this goes: Porch Dick needs to go Goodbye, Earl. Well Rick? You in? He turns his wedding ring and thinks.

Eugene watches over Tara, gun pointed at Dickless Wonder, and spies Noah’s notebook. “This is the beginning” it says. In blood, Eugene draws THE END. (Not really.) But this is gonna be a hell of a beginning for our gang in Alexandria, isn’t it?

Gabriel visits Deanna, nervous and panicky. He thinks Deanna made a mistake letting in everyone else. He’s good, they can trust him, but Rick’s group… They’re not good people. (Maggie is in the house downstairs and can hear this, btw.)

Gabriel continues to say there’s no excuse for what Rick’s group has done, they’re vipers. Snakes. Satan in disguise. But Deanna wants to know why he’s just now saying this? Because they’ve been messengers with a false light, angels who are actually harbingers of doom. (Nice that it’s “Gabriel” trumpeting this, those of you who know Angel Gabriel, calling the dead to arise and be judged in End Times.)

Gabriel: This place is paradise. They don’t deserve this!

Deanna: O___O  …thank you. I have a lot to think about. [escorts him out]

Gabriel: I wish I’d come sooner. I hope it isn’t too late.


And that’s when the van pulls in, bearing news that Deanna’s son is dead. (But hey, they can make Dickless Wonder confess his sins! Yeah, that’ll happen. He’ll just lie.)

And it looks like all of our guys are in a position to take this place over. By force. Uh oh.

HEY EVERYONE. I WAS RIGHT ABOUT GABRIEL. I’m not a good enough person not to say “I told you so.” I TOLD YOU THAT BRO WAS WEAK. Ugh. Maggie’s gonna need to get Abraham on his ass.

1. Holy smokes, Noah. I can’t believe how much I care for a new character and 2. I can’t believe how AWFUL that was to watch. (I had to turn away.) And pretty sure that sign at the end with “Big Things To Come!” is a head’s up for us about the finale. We are not ready, methinks.

Next episode!

Please like & share:
  • kiki

    RIP Joseph Gordon-Levitt lookalike/eye candy, we hardly knew ye.

    Seriously though, I didn’t expect Aiden to bite it so soon, especially as he was…getting better, I guess? I was starting to like him, I mean, he did stupid things but he was starting to respect Glenn, Tara and Noah for their skills and then he was DEAD AND ALL MY DREAMS ARE CRUSHED.

    also Noah. NOAH. why did this happen. Like, okay, I didn’t expect it at all, half because I was really starting to like him, and half because they literally just killed Tyreese and, well, I didn’t expect to lose another black character so soon. I mean, it’s super racist because it’s either they kill nobodies or they kill black characters that were JUST STARTING TO GET MORE CHARACTERIZATION. sorry, I’m super angry. And he went out in the worst way possible! I guess I should have seen it coming, since I feel it was more because the audience at large probably didn’t like him for the whole Beth and Tyreese death thing, but I’m STILL MAD. IT WAS UNFAIR. (also Glenn’s crying like FUCK MAN WHY IS THIS HAPPENING SOMEBODY HUG HIM.) go Eugene though, nice save.

    I guess they brought back Cowardly Lion in terms of plot because it would seem like Gabriel was right if they came back and the Alexandria resident in charge of the thing was dead and the other was “missing”, like that would be so suspicious even if Noah died too.

    Okay also, Carol just being like “you have to kill him”, like, yes Porch Husband is the worst but, I don’t know, he’s a surgeon?? He has use, can’t they just punish the heck out of him and have everyone know they’re watching his every move. Killing him seems to be…overkill I guess, in a survival situation. Or they could put the wife and kids into protective custody kind of thing. it’s just. this is a survival situation and he’s…needed, I guess. that and it literally just seems like a poor plot to set Rick up with the wife, like, to justify his interest in her so I’m just. :/

    ALSO GABRIEL IS THE WORST RN, HE LITERALLY LET PEOPLE DIE HORRIBLY WHILE THIS GROUP SAVED HIM, and they haven’t even…done anything particularly bad in his presence? they killed some cannibals who were coming to get them, they retaliated to Grady hospital like there is literally nothing they have done that was unjustifiable I guess? ANYWAY THIS IS LONG.

    • I’m not qualified to talk about Noah’s death falling into racist categories, so I’ll leave that to PoC. I didn’t see it that way, but then, I’m a white lady, so my opinion is worthless. (And we still have Sasha, Michonne, Glenn!)

      I definitely am not onboard with killing the only doctor. I mean, Carol and Maggie have triage skill, but that’s not the same as an actual medical degree. Can’t they Jessie Pinkman him, chaining him up in the makeshift OR, having him work as needed? ;) But maybe there’s more they’re hoping is telegraphed to the audience (it’s not). Like, they’re hoping we get that Porch Dick can’t be redeemed? IDK. It’s extreme.

      GABRIEL IS A LYING LIAR WHO LIES AND IS A TURNCOAT. He likes clean death, you know, like locking a door and hiding. Seeing people dying was too gooey, I suppose? But he saw that the cannibals were EATING PEOPLE. He saw that! Ugh, he’s the worst.

      • kiki

        It’s more that it’s a really weird pattern they have where they introduce a black character and immediately kill off the one who had already been established, lots of people have noticed? Like out of Rick’s group in season 5, 3/4 people who have died have been black. ANYWAY.

        I feel like they should just KEEP HIM AWAY FROM HER I mean, if the whole community knows then they will probably rally behind the wife rather than him. It seems almost…simple, I guess? (Though people have a theory that the wife is the abuser, which is unlikely but would fill the “WHAT A TWIST” quota I guess :P)

        YEAH LIKE CAN MAGGIE JUST GO UP TO LEADER LADY AND BE LIKE “BTW HE LET HIS WHOLE CONGREGATION DIE.” maybe that’s why he fits into Alexandria though, they showed that they are not willing to go out of their way to save one another, I guess?

        • Oh, they totally had that pattern, without question. I did feel (and again, white girl here, so my opinion is work bupkis) that they became aware and worked to be far more fair in future episodes. They are working with canon, I know, but make changes like with Glenn. And hooray for there being ONE Asian-American in the apocalypse. =/ But they’ve also killed Beth and two little white children (hahaha, that sounds terrible. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.) :D

          And excellent point about Gabriel fitting the “Welp! Guess I’ll leave you folks to become Walker food!” pattern of behavior in Alexandria.

    • JP

      Disclaimer, this post is written by a white guy….I did listen to a podcast with a black host, the excellent Project Fandom, that discussed this very topic. She came down on the side that while its funny to make the joke its not really true. The real strike against the show was T Dawg who despite being in 20+ episodes was not a character. Tyrese was in for 30 and while some complained about what he did as a character, you know he was fully formed. Bob, Noah and Gabriel have all been in about a dozen episodes and they were people. By the podcast’s final count there have been, amongst people that could be considered amongst the main cast, 5 black deaths and 8 white people. She did point out that 5 of the 13 current cast are minorities, and 6 are woman so the show is one of the most diverse cast on tv, and that extends to the supporting cast. Now, that may say more about other shows than The Walking Dead, but there it is. So..yeah. I think the show got really good about fleshing out all of its characters when Scott Gimple took over the show.

      • You’re spot on with Scott Gimple really doing an excellent job of not only bringing in more diverse faces (which TV so desperately needs) but really giving them full characters to work with. 100% agreed on T Dog not really having much characterization and Tyrese living and breathing that role.

  • Karen

    “Maggie’s gonna need to get Abraham on his ass.”
    Are you kidding me? At this point in time, Eugene would have no problems kicking FPP’s ass. Heck, SAM could take him out without a problem. Maggie doesn’t need any help from Abe to cool FPP’s noise.
    Alas, poor Noah – we hardly knew ye! He had such great promise as a character, and was played by a really good actor. But at least we got to see what Steven Yuen could do. Those were GREAT reaction shots. I was impressed.
    Yeah, Carol already knows how this whole thing is going to play out. This ain’t no first rodeo for her. Rick, being the face of the law in town, will have to face off with Pete at some point, and only one of them is going to come out alive. And it won’t be Pete. But hey – if he turns, can we call him “RePete”? Pretty please?
    I can’t wait until next week! Fecal matter is going to hit the oscillating blower.

    • I didn’t explain myself well–the problem with racing to get this posted when I’ve been in meetings all morning, whoops! By “get Abraham on his ass,” I meant that name as a substitution for the word “medieval.” :D

      Steven Yeun knocked that scene out of the park. I’m so glad I focused on him and not on that horrific scene. It was almost too much for me. But yeah, top notch acting, FX, everything

      • Karen

        Oh, that’s makes MUCH more sense then. Thanks for the clarification. Maggie the Magnificent could surely take out FPP with a flip of her hair.
        I, too, would be interested to see the flip of having the woman (Jessie) be the abuser in this relationship, since we’ve already had Carol and Ed. And men get abused as well. And it might explain all that drinking that Pete’s doing. I’d be shocked if we get it though, since they have Rick casting sheeps’ eyes at Jessie already.

  • moata

    Oh man, I really needed to have looked away from that. In other news I may have an aversion to revolving doors FOR LIFE. I just got completely sucker-punched by that one with the whole “bright new future as a baby architect” beginning, and that I thought we’d got the main horrific gore scene out of the way already with the demise of Aiden.

    As for Gabriel, surely Deanna can see he’s mentally unstable? Mind you, she’s already having concerns and she’s just about to find out her son’s met an horrific end (even more horrific than the dub-step). So obviously things are balanced on a knife edge, here.

    I thought it was interesting in the scene with Rick and Peter-Peter-Wife-Beater that Michonne’s sword was in the background between them. At one point when Dr Beers In The Afternoon came towards Rick it appeared as if the sword was sticking out of the front of his chest. Hmmmm.

    So it looks like he’s toast pretty soon. But then I’m starting to feel like I don’t know what to expect from this show any more. I didn’t see Noah’s death coming at all so maybe things will actually play out in unexpected ways. Like, OMG, what if Jessie is actually the abuser and that’s why her husband is miserable and drinks? That seems like a crazy theory but I really don’t know any more. And I’m willing to believe anyone is capable of anything.
    I think I’ve been out there too long maybe…

    • Oh, I didn’t notice Michonne’s katana in the background! (I’ll be real with you: Rick is onscreen, I’m staring at his handsome mug. It’s a sickness.) And OHO, what an amazing bit of foreshadowing if your call out becomes true!! <3

      Someone else (points up) just offered the idea that Jessie might be the abuser! That would be a different take on things and could be what finally drives Rick into Michonne's arms. Ahahahaha. :D

  • Colleen

    Stupid work making me late to the party AGAIN. Love this recap!

    Can I just say once again how much I love Abraham the second half of this season? Everything out of his mouth is just awesome.

    Noah! Holy hell that was awful. I did not see that coming. Literally, because I turned my head and closed my eyes. For the record, I don’t think he died because he was black, I think he died because he was young and idealistic and no one is allowed to have hopes and dreams in the ZA. Also totally agree with this show kills young white girls just as often as black men. So, equal opportunity ZA deaths for all.

    Also… Porch Dick, Carol escalated that a little quickly, huh? “You just have to kill him”. Nope, no due process in Alexandria, this is the wild west!

    And to Judah also called Gabriel… he is the worst. WORST. Can’t wait for Maggie to tell Rick!! Great recap Laura!!

    • Thanks, Colleen! And aww, you can come comment any time–people go back a few episodes and add stuff, so we’re always open. :D

      Abraham is so much fun to watch, right?? JP has some great points about the equality of deaths/are they or aren’t they?/ in an above comment.

      I always have the smartest readers. :)

  • Christa

    OMG – “Everybody aaaaaaate Chris!” I just brayed like a donkey, disrupted my entire office and almost wet myself! Seriously, though horrific, his death was masterfully done. Reminded me of old Argento or Fulci. Anywho, I think that Carol will wind up taking things into her own hands with Porch Dick because she’s the baddest bitch in the ZA and won’t stand for baloney. And when I saw Michonne’s katana on the wall of what I thought was just Rick’s house, I got really giddy because, you guys, they’re already cohabitating and it’s only a matter of time!!!

    • Karen

      Except that Carol is in that same house (she was making cookies in the house with the yellow door, which is where Rick is staying). Does that mean she’s gonna hook up with Rick as well? Whatever happened to men and women just being friends? LOL

      • Christa

        Sure, but I’ve wanted Rick and Michonne to hook up for a while to become the ultimate ass-kicking power couple. (And could Carl and Judith HAVE a cooler stepmom?) I didn’t realize that Carol was living there too, but I consider her spoken for by Daryl even though there has been no real indication of romance there. That’s just how it works in my head. ¯_(?)_/¯

  • “Now we know why the kid doesn’t fear Carol btw, he is already used to threats and abuse.” YES. And agreed on how heartbreaking watching Carol almost kick herself for threatening an abused child once she figures it out.

    Abraham is a DELIGHT!! I’m all for the Ginger Ninja. And you know, in my haste to get this posted, I failed to mention that Gabriel’s allusions to scripture in his “confession” to Deanna harkens back to the time of Christ’s crucifixion–and we had Aiden literally crucified halfway through–and he’s quite the Judas, isn’t he? I wonder if they’ll have him tell people two more times that Rick’s group isn’t who they say they are, to add a little Peter denying Christ 3 times to the mix? Biblical references have abounded this entire season, which is perfect since they’ve added a questionable priest. Man, I love this show!