Game of Thrones 5.4 – Sons of the Harpy

First off, I want to thank Super Reader Tran for the generous donation to keep the website going! We have our yearly bill coming up, so it was timely and very appreciated. THANK YOU!

But back to GoT… Previously! My daughter just saw the Harpy on the Merreen pyramid and said, “Boob eagle!” So in my head, that’s what I’m calling them from now on. Look, you understand religion in your way, let me understand it in mine. Interesting to note that only one of the Westeros religions praises sex while the others condemn it. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

A LOT happened this episode, and if you don’t think these first four eps are the tightest the of the show’s history, then:

how dare you

HOW VERY DARE YOU

ETA: And as always, be sure to read through our AWESOME, SPOILER FREE comments section, where some of the liveliest convos are happening. (I have a few theories about Specific Name Dropping in them, for example!)

We open with Jorah knocking out a fisherman, taking his boat and tossing in a bound and gagged Tyrion. The other be-shipped Lannister is Jaime, en route to Dorne, but before they get there, they pass the Sapphire Isle, aka Tarth, aka Brienne’s home. His little smile is my everything, guys. Their Brotp gives me life. Bronn, however, isn’t looking forward to their final destination, which is crazy, because if ever there was a guy who belonged in the land of fucking and fighting, it’s Bronn.

But Bronn explains, “We’ll have loads of fighting, to be sure. But when we kidnap the princess, I doubt we’ll be sticking around for the loads of fucking.” Well, he’s not wrong. Also, Bronn is pretty sure the princess ain’t Jaime’s “niece.” And also, Tyrion didn’t get himself out on his own, did he? But don’t think Jaime feels warmly about Tyrion after murdering their father. Jaime wants to split his brother in two with his sword, then perform a different sort of sword splitting with his sister, in whose arms he wishes to die.

You know who could use some family counseling? The Lannisters.

Also some financial counseling, because Braavos is calling in a portion of the Lannister debt, which, as they loudly proclaim, ahem, they always pay. So… [sucks teeth] Lord Tyrell is proving to be a useful patsy, saying he can loan the money, because his daughter—wink at Cersei!–is good for it.

Cersei: [simpers] Oh, but you’ve done so much. No, instead, we need to send someone important, someone they’ll trust. [beatific grin at him]
Lord Tyrell: I AM BURSTING WITH PRIDE AND ALSO LOVE AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
Cersei: And the King loves his new PeePaw In Law so much that he’s sending his best assassin, I mean, best guard. Ser Meryn.
Ser Meryn: [forked tongue hiss]
Arya: I HAVEN’T FORGOTTON YOU [continues to chant her list]
Lord Tyrell: OH MY THIS MAKES ME FEEL IMPORTANT
Cersei: [coughs] That’s because you’re a moron [cough]
Lord Tyrell: What was that?
Cersei: SAFE TRAVELS DEAR MAN. Oh let me speak with the High Sparrow! Glass of wine?
High Sparrow: I don’t drink.
Cersei: I’m sorry?
HS: I said, I don’t drink?
Cersei: No, terribly sorry, I didn’t catch that, either. You’ll have to say that in my good ear…
HS: I’m trying to say that I don’t care for the taste of wine.
Cersei: See, I can tell that your lips are moving, but it’s all coming out jibberish. Here, let me take a sip… Now. Where were we?
HS: I can honestly say that I have no idea.
Cersei: Here’s the thing: I want an army… of righteous men. You shall lead them, they shall have dominion over bodies and souls, meting out justice as they see fit. Religious fervor, armed fanatics, total control over deviants, what could go wrong?
Me: OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY FLAWS WITH THIS PLAN NO
HS: Gosh! I say! Yes, Faith Militant sounds marvelous!
Me: DID ANYONE READ HISTORY BOOKS?! I mean, I get the symbolism, etc. but [stuffs face with popcorn]
HS: By the way, I don’t believe you realize that this just might come back to bite you on the ass, but all sinners are equal in the eyes of God.
Cersei: Yes, yes, muffled buzzing from you about something I’m sure you find important, but what about I lead you to a particular person with whom to start your Crusade? more wine?
HS: I’ve told you, I don’t drink.
Cersei: Does anyone understand a word he’s saying?

[Frightening scene recreating Jesus tossing out the money lenders from the temple, but you know, less Jesus and more dudes in black robes with a sigil of the Seven Gods cut into their face and way more boobs and murder]

Lancel, freshly marked, leads a group to arrest Loras. NO NOT BEAUTIFUL CURLS LORAS! Gee dee it, Lancel, you boned family, you do NOT get to stand in judgment of others! Margaery bursts into the King’s chambers, who’s eating a nummy lunch of ants on a log and baloney roll ’em ups, an apple juice sippy box at hand. She wants to know if he likes her. Like, like likes her.

Of course he does! Then please set her brother free, Beautiful Strong King. Well, first he’s going to grumble at Mummy who has a few more years of manipulating young men than Margaery, and manages to dump the task onto Tommen. After all, she doesn’t have Loras locked up, the church does.

He goes to see the High Sparrow, but he cannot get past the Militant. The Kingsguard are absolutely ready to throw down and send these holy rollers to meet the gods they love, but Tommen doesn’t like the icky thought of blood. (Because he’s a good person at heart which is why he’s a terrible king.)

Plus, the crowd starts calling him an abomination and filthy bastard–not incest Flower in the Attic? huh–so Tommen and his men clear out. Oh, this Sweet Summer Child is not ready for the job, is he? Margaery is over trying to coddle him and goes to take matters into her own hands. And I’m not talking about Loras, Tommen. He’s gonna learn real quick how some women use sex as a reward… or punishment.

Stannis watches Jon train his men at the wall with fondness and longing (o! to have a son!) and don’t think for a second that Grumpy Wife Selyse isn’t internalizing that as a failure on her part to provide an heir. Fire Crotch Mage shuts her down and reminds Stannis that he needs her to win the upcoming battle at Winterfell. Okay, Stannis’ needs are being met, but what about what Fire Crotch Mage needs? Speaking of Jon, with the help of Samwise Samwell Samwood Porkins, is sending out ravens to local Houses for supplies and men.

Jon: [holds out letter with tongs] OH NO. NOT THIS ONE.
Sam: Yes, I understand, but he has things we need.
Jon: YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I AM NOT ASKING ROOSE BOLTON FOR A GEE DEE THING.
Me: I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU, SAMWELL BAGGINS TARLEY PORKINS WHO THE HELL EVER THERE IS ENOUGH BOLTON-STARK CARRY OVER OKAY??
Sam: Yes, it’s a dreadful business, but we’re actually desperate?
Jon: [literally signs an X instead of his name, doodles a hairy peen under it]

Fire Crotch Mage enters for a “word” with Jon, explaining that she wants him… to march to Winterfell since he knows the place like the back of her hand. But Jon isn’t going, okay?

FCM: [shows her boobs]
Jon: Yes, I see. You make a compelling argument.
FCM: Awesome. I haven’t had a good lay in a while.
Stannis: [frowns, but he doesn’t know why]

Melissandre and Jon Snow

WOMAN THE MAN SAID NO

GOT jon FCM 2

Your GEE DEE right you still love her, Jon Snow.

Jon: NO, M’LADY BECAUSE OF YGRITTE. I AM IN MOURNING STILL.
Me: [puts pitchfork down]
Jon: No, but seriously. No. NO MEANS NO.
FCM: Dammit. That makes me want you more. Fiiiiiiiiiine.

And haha, that she says “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” is both ridiculous and hilarious.

Little Newt goes to see Papa, wanting to know if he’s ashamed of her like Mummy is. And we learn that a doll Stannis bought off a Dornish peddler when Little Newt was born carried the greyscale disease that almost killed her. Okay, knowing Stannis feels guilt for his daughter’s affliction changes a LOT for me, you guys. Also, it’s good to know what Stone Men are now (don’t think I haven’t been gritting my teeth each time y’all have mentioned them—we non-book readers are just learning this stuff!).

I love how much Stannis really loves his daughter, and how sweet she is. Aww! “You are Princess Shireen of House Baratheon!” I JUST HAVE A TREE OR SOMETHING IN MY EYE, I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING.

Shireen Baratheon smiling at Stannis

LOOK AT THAT WEE MUFFIN NUGGET’S SWEET SMILE! I’m so glad we got her off of LV-426 in the knick of time. <3

Sansa is in the catacombs under Winterfell, paying homage to her ancestors, and I’m just constantly on tenterhooks for her, especially with Baelish lurking about like a freaking vampire bat in the background. He slithers forward, tells her the story of her aunt Lyanna and how the Mad King’s son Rhaegar Targaryen gave her a crown of flowers at a tournament instead of to his wife Elia Martell. WAIT. OBERYN’S SISTER? She was married to a Targaryen when The Mountain killed her, he raped her, he murdered her children? (Oberyn flashbacks, sorry.)

Okay, genealogy time: Rhaegar, the Mad King’s son, older brother to Daenerys, married to Oberyn’s sister, knew Ned Stark, Baelish was a poor kid hitching a ride with Catelyn’s family at the shindig. GOT IT.

Sansa reminds him that the story isn’t so lovely with flowers and jousts, but that Rhaegar also kidnapped her aunt Lyanna and raped her. So, not such a great story, Littlefinger.

Baelish tells her he’s gotta bail to keep Cersei from sniffing things out, but hold tight, Sansa, because Baelish knows about Stannis coming, so it won’t be long until she’s with people who are her friends, aka, not the family Baelish is trying to marry her into. He’s got it all figured out, see? Stannis will roll over the Boltons and establish her as Wardeness of the North. And if it all goes to smash, why, Ramsay’s already fallen for her (lol) and she can manipulate him!

[STATIC/TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES SCREEN AS HE GIVES HER A GOODBYE KISS NO ME GUSTA]

GoT note from Cersei to Baelish with stamp

Look who’s all fancy with his own sigil stamps now!

Okay, I think I’m getting what Baelish has planned all along, but I just don’t know if he’s the puppet master he believes himself to be.

Jaime and Bronn row to shore, or rather, Bronn does because of the whole one hand thing. Hahaha, Jaime is such a little shit. If you watch this scene where they’re pulling their boat onto the beach, you might be able to see Gendry rowing in an endless circle. I ASSUME THAT’S HAPPENING, SINCE WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM IN A WHILE.

Bronn kills a snake right next to Jaime’s face for a lovely breakfast.

jaime Lannister Bronn kills a snake

Cooper and Darnell: SNAKE TANGLERS, LADY WRANGLERS

Oh my god, give me a spin off show with these two knuckleheads snarking at one another. I mean, it’s the perfect Odd Couple reboot.

Bronn: You dying by snake would make for a great hit song.
Jaime: I don’t like music. Besides, there’s only two songs in Westeros. They’re all hits.
Bronn: [stares at camera, cue laugh track]

Hey, I wonder if that almost a death by a snake is a portent of things to come? DO NOT SPOIL ME OR I’LL SIC BRONN ON YOU.

And seriously, if you don’t love Bronn, you’re not paying attention. He wants to die of old age as people squabble over his wealth because he’s lived an exciting life, so let’s go for a boring death. Jaime wants to die in the arms of the woman he loves. So, Cersei, he means, and who doesn’t want that with her brother, given her constantly sending him off to his death to prove his love. Looks like you’ll never get what you want, huh, Jaime?

Well, looks like they’re not getting either, since some Dornish soldiers have been alerted to their presence. They say they’re Cooper and Darnell, and Bronn then takes out two guys, cuts down a horse making it easier for Jaime to fight one-handed—time to put that training to the test! Well, he gets a C-. Still passing, but sloppy. (Excellent use of the gold hand to catch the blade, and I wonder why he hadn’t thought of it before?)

Let me take a moment to fawn over the beautiful horseflesh in this episode, especially the one Elaria Sand rides. And let me take another moment to ululate to the heavens for the bad ass Sand Snakes who have captured Jaime’s captain and have buried him to the chin in the sand with scorpions. The highest of fives, gals. The oldest (I think?) Obara, who wears Matahualan-style boots [the ones that curl up at the front–these are REALLY common where I live, actually], chose to fight her battles long ago. She will fight for her father. She easily tosses a spear into the captain’s head.

Sand Snakes in Dorne

Oberyn Martell’s AMAZING daughters, the Sand Snakes. AHHHH, I LOVE DORNE.

Tyrion, still aboard Jorah’s purloined boat, sings through his gag to irritate Jorah to death. No, Jorah Death is not coming for Jorah today–he just removes the gag. And HA. HA HA HA, folks, because I called it (and I love each of you who agreed who the Queen was). Tyrion notes they’re not headed to Westeros. Oho! They are heading towards QUEEN DAENERYS TARGARYEN, THE QUEEN HE SERVES. But it’s funny, because that’s where he was headed, Jorah. Tyrion, who is so very clever, figures out the story of Jorah and how he was passing notes to Varys, and Dany must have found out and exiled her.

Peter Dinklage flipping you off.

What I imagine was going through Tyrion’s head as he figured it out.

Jorah smacks him across the face to shut him up. Hitting a bit too close to home, huh? [Khaleesi!!]

Dany hears some less rape-filled family stories about Rhaegar from Ser Barristan until Daario interrupts with business. Duty calls, m’Lady. Hazdar is still pushing for organized MMA fighting to be legitimized. The people of Meereen rich and poor are united in that sport, after all, and this argument is presented while Sons of the Harpy skulk about underground with slaves following.

Sons of the Harpy

These men did NOT take a vow of poverty.

In the streets, they start slitting the throats of men chatting up ladies (oho! This keeps happening, so Imma go out on a limb and say Meereen prostitutes can’t be trusted). The Unsullied are sent down a hallway by one of the women, who is in on the scheme. The Unsullied are outnumbered and out maneuvered, even though they get some good licks in. In fact, Grey Worm is one of them getting in those licks. Shit. The Sons of the Harpy are taking out the Unullied all over the city and it is looking bad, gang.

The bells ring, and Ser Barristan–the man who was the greatest swordsman alive, who painted his canvas in shades of red, who could slice through Kingsguard like butter on a hot summer day–goes off in search of whatever trouble is causing a panic. Grey Worm, who is no small shakes on the battlefield, too, takes a bad hit but keeps fighting, and it’s five on one when a cry sounds: a Boob Eagle devotee getting stabbed by Ser Barristan!

Six to one with Grey Worm keeping three at bay? Yikes. Ser Barristan gets in several kills, but he’s old, and there are so many. D: The keep coming, he keeps fighting until he gets hammied by one of the Boob Eagle men, and GOD DAMMIT. HE WAS SO GOOD, THOUGH. Well, he takes out two more before falling to the ground, Grey Worm taking out the last Son before he could slit Barristan’s throat. But it doesn’t matter. They’ve all fallen, both Unsullied and Sons.

And as the blood spreads between the cobbles, the bells keep ringing.

I’M JUST SAYING, IF JORAH HADN’T BEEN SENT AWAY…

[And I hope you all appreciate that I was trying to be classy there at the end, otherwise you would have gotten an MMM WHATCHA SAY! earworm. YOU’RE WELCOME.]

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmd1qMN5Yo0[/youtube]

So much religious fervor this episode! Except we’ve not seen any Weirwood worship, huh? (This would have been a great time for some Bran and Three-Eyed Ravens, I’m just saying.) Why is anyone a part of a religion that doesn’t allow sex? Wait, because the Sons of the Harpy are working with prostitutes, does that mean they don’t see that as a sin? Hmm. (If it’s a spoiler, please don’t tell me!)

Reminder that every week one of YOUR comments will be featured, so comment early and often! And upvoting your fellow fans is just a cool way to high five via internet.

NEXT WEEK: Holy crap, Tyrion’s face seeing a dragon fly overhead is everything to me.  CLICK HERE FOR 5.5 KILL THE BOY

Reminder: I’m not a book reader and TERRIBLY spoiler-phobic, so help a gal out by not hinting at things to come or details from the books (yes, they are spoilers if not explicitly depicted on screen.) <3 (Seriously. I won’t respond, okay? I REALLY don’t want to be spoiled for this show that I love so dearly. Talking politics that haven’t SPECIFICALLY happened on screen are spoilers.)

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  • Do you feel the days getting longer? That’s not the entropic loss of angular momentum as the moon tugs on our planet. That’s Chekhov rolling over in his grave at the sheer number of mentions of Greyscale and Stone Men this season.

    While this episode was a little slow-ish (still setting up things to come), I felt it had a lot to offer. Simply stated, put ANY two characters that have the slightest differences together on a trip, and I’ll SEASON PASS that! We get Bronn & Jamie as well as Jorah & Tyrion this episode. I ship them all so hard (in a solely platonic way of course). Their scenes this week were perfect. Especially Bronn cutting through all the typical bulls*** and getting right to the core of things. He’s one of the most aware people in Westeros.

    I actually enjoyed FCM drooping Ygritte’s signature line on Jon. To me, it was her saying to Jon “I know more than you can imagine about you.” It gave me chills.

    Speaking of the Lord Commander, a lot is being made by Stannis about his parentage. First he says that He’s truly Ned’s son, and now he rebukes the Queen about his parentage now. Make up your mind, Stan!

    Also speaking of dead people, two separate conversations about Rhaeger this week. One about his actions at the Tourney that started Robert’s Rebellion, and one by Ser Barristan the Bold (RIP) about how kind and gentle and not rapey Rheager was. We haven’t heard anything about the Tourney since season 1. I’m sure this isn’t accidental we’re hearing it now.

    Did you notice the feather Sansa found on Lyanna’s tomb? Robert put that there in S1. Great call-back.

    Your question about the Sons of the Harpy and sex: Def not a spoiler. Attitudes about sex are very different in Essos than they are in Westeros, generally speaking (look at FCM as evidence of that). I don’t think there’s anything special, per-say, about the SotH’s working with prostitutes other than that they know that Dany’s armies (Unsullied and Second Sons) will be there… think of them as a honey-pot. ;-)

    • The only thing about FCM dropping the ubiquitous “You know nothing, Jon Snow” line is that it either means she had a vision of Jon and knew about his past with Ygritte (like, she speed-viewed and absorbed it all, Matrix-style) which is cool if we actually learn that to be the case, or it’s fan-pandering, which I’m not into. HOPEFULLY it’s the first.

      And I wondered about Stannis correcting Selyse on Jon’s parentage, too. Like, maybe it wasn’t a tavern wench, though, and someone of Importance, someone maybe only Robert (and possibly Stannis) knew about? I didn’t take it to mean he wasn’t Ned’s, but who knows!

      Rhaegar and Lyanna are CLEARLY more important than I thought, which means I’ll need to go back to S1 and rewatch, since I didn’t put it down in the catacombs (taps skull) when they never appeared again. But yeah, they’re setting us up for something with all the mentions AND the greyscale. WHICH I AM ALL INTO.

      It made sense to me that Selmy didn’t see Rhaegar as rapey–he’s an old school Knight of the Round Table, ie: a romantic–and his memories of Rhaegar are the good ones. The Starks would of course see that in a different light. OH!! IS IT POSSIBLE THEY HAD A CHILD, JON SNOW, AND THAT’S WHAT STANNIS KNOWS?! Jon would still be a Stark… OMG, if that’s something in the books, DO NOT TELL ME.

      And I will seriously watch a show with Bronn and ANYONE. Oh man, that actor is a DELIGHT.

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        Random mention: did you spot that FCM seems to feel Jon Snow has “power” of some kind? And that she’s previously stated that the blood of kings has power? I’m just saying’.

        • YES!! My theory (and again, I cannot stress enough for book readers: DO NOT SPOIL ME IF THIS IS ACTUALLY THERE) is that Jon is actually Rhaegar and Lyanna’s kid, but Ned took him since Jon would be a Stark, but this would prevent him from being a Targaryen.

          • Deceptively Calm Scientist

            Interesting theory. It does rather beg the question of why Ned Stark would feel the need to a.) adopt the kid as his own and b.) hide his heritage? Could it be because Targaryens were getting killed left, right and center by Tywin’s men at the time?
            Related question: is there anyone left alive who can confirm this? Lyanna’s trusty manservant Carruthers? Dr.Fleginbotham, who assisted with the delivery?
            Incidentally, Dr.Fleginbotham once worked in the Public Health department (not the Pubic Health department) and caught Qyburn red-handed torturing someone to death with red-hot irons:
            Qyburn: (looks startled)
            Dr.Fleginbotham: “…I’m going to have to cite you for storing raw and cooked meat together.”

            I really should switch to decaf.

          • Eddie H

            We do now that if Jon is a Targaryen he’s not the fireproof kind. Didn’t he burn his hand pretty badly when he set the zombie on fire in Commander Mormont’s quarters?

          • BlackTalon53 .

            No worries, nobody can spoil you on this, simply because it isn’t in the books either. It’s a much discussed topic in the fandom, though (actually, the most discussed one by far).
            There is one very special dream/flashback scene from the books that was omitted in the show, from when Ned Stark lies in bed with a fever from the spear wound in his leg – the famous “Tower of Joy” dream, one of the most beautiful and haunting bits of writing in the whole series. It describes how Ned finds his sister again after the war.
            If you don’t read that you are missing out big time and it spoils nothing – maybe a book reader in your acquaintance can show you the passage, it is one of the later “Eddard” chapters, a bit after midpoint of the book.

      • I hope it wasn’t solely fan service as well. They have plenty of opportunities to show us FCM’s powers. (I know they showed us a few seasons ago how she can bluff and glamor her way through things, but it’s obvious she can pop out a shadow-baby when she puts her mind to it.)

        And I won’t spoil anything from the books. Watching unsullied like yourself discover things is just too delicious to short-circuit. That being said, R+L=J is solely a THEORY. But the show seems to be dropping plenty of hints.

        • Yes, she had blood magic and fire magic, glamors and an All Seeing Eye, so more of that, please!

          I LOVE ALL OF MY BOOK READERS. You guys seriously keep this so fun for me, so I appreciate you protecting me from spoilers. <3

          • magnusk_98

            I’m pretty impressed that you came up with it on your own. I had to go check out fan forums to even get wind of the theory. And we got a ton more hints of it in the books than the show viewers have gotten so far. Oh, well, we’ll see if GRRM or the show producers follow through or if it is the biggest red herring ever.

            • As I was typing the comment I had a brain spasm and went, HEY…..

              I love knowing I’m not the only one who thinks it!

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Given the way they lingered on Jon’s face when she said that, and then her smirk, she definitely knew the importance of that phrase.

        And yeah, Barristan is an old friend of Rhaegar’s, speaking to Rhaegar’s sister who never knew him, so of course he’d talk about the good parts.

      • Lisa

        People speculate this though it’s all theory. But with Rhaegar married and Lyann a engaged…well there is no great option for those two. And in season 1 Ned tells Jon that Jon is of his blood, he didn’t actually say son. And you know how Robert was with Targaryen kiddies. He wanted them all dead. But… It’s just theory at this point

      • profanefame

        THIS is my theory: Lyanna was not kidnapped, but went willingly. Or not. Point is, Jon is actually Rhaegar’s son with Lyanna. Hiding that parentage would’ve saved SO MANY MORE LIVES, so Ned did that, probably at Lyanna’s dying request or something.

        • Lisa

          Yeah. Ned said at one point that Lyanna died in his arms. It’s not a huge stretch to think she died requesting that her brother look after her baby (however it may have been conceived). This would have been right around the time Dany’s mother fled to Essos with her kids so they wouldn’t be killed and Elia martell targaryen was murdered by the mountain along with her kids. And Robert was enraged with Rhaegar and (for security of the throne) eradicating Targ heirs. And we know that Ned did not support killing kids. He would have allowed Cersei to escape with her children and was against Robert sending assassins after Dany. To protect his sisters Targ child, Ned could have claimed him as his own (not even Robert knew who Jon’s mother was). And to protect Catelyn (because harboring a Targ during the Baratheon rule would be treason) he could have allowed even his wife to believe the babe was his bastard… All of which falls in line with Ned’s personality… But it’s great speculation based on no verifiable evidence. The Rhaegar and Lyamna mentions in the episode make me hope the show will confirm or deny the theory at some point.

      • HeySwanSong

        Barristan told Dany the truth about her father, I don’t think it would be like him to sugarcoat stories about Rhaegar. Also, you should watch the Sansa/LF scene again and look at the face LF makes when Sansa gives the whole “kidnapped and raped her” line.

        • Lisa

          I lean toward that but primarily for sentimental reasons. Jon had it hard enough as CTelyn’s unwanted. I’d hate for him to discover he’s a rape baby. But, objectively speaking we have no way to know. Nearly everything is pure speculation

  • DrewHolton

    I have to say your description of Cersei’s discussion with the High Sparrow pretty much described what I was thinking at the time (although much funnier). Frankly, I’m surprised she wasn’t so croggled by the thought of not liking wine that she could continue on with her Evil Plan.
    I found it very interesting that there were not one, but two stories about Rhaegar in this episode. It illustrates two very different views of him, and also gives background on what led to the Baratheon Rebellion. Although as I was watching Littlefinger’s face when Sansa accused Rhaegar of rape and kidnapping, it made me wonder if there might not be more to the story. Also makes me wonder why they’re bringing up all this Rhaegar info to begin with. Could be leading up to something?

    • Seriously, how Cersei managed to talk about ANYTHING other than how the High Sparrow doesn’t like WINE…. Hahahaha.

      Christopher (points to other comment thread) and I were just talking about all of the Rhaegar mentions! I’m going to have to go back and watch Littlefinger when Sansa says it was rape–I don’t trust him, and I don’t trust him to be honest about whether or not it was. (I mean, given this show’s track record, it most likely was.)

      I think there’s something coming with regards to Rhaegar and Ned’s sister Lyanna, for sure. (Maybe that Jon Snow is actually HERS and RHAEGAR’S?? Ned just took him in since the baby is technically a Stark?! But if that’s a book spoiler, I DON’T WANNA KNOW.)

      • DrewHolton

        Well, that’s the thing. Is it a spoiler to discuss a book reader theory, but that’s ONLY a theory, not confirmed (or even addressed) in the books?

        • As long as you preface it for us that you’re just theorizing and not going into details that solely existed in the book, I’m okay with it! (And THANK YOU for asking!)

          • I’d say this is easily the biggest *theory* in all of ASOIAF fandom. And the show is staring to hint towards it. Which is great Also, I like the dueling viewpoints on the R + L relationship. Was it a rape like Sansa/Robert intimated or somehting entirely different? No one knows.

          • DrewHolton

            As Christopher alludes to below, welcome to the R+L=J Fan Theory club, which I’ll point out you came to independently. Congratulations!

          • Lyanna Mormont

            I will say this about Jon’s parentage.

            * There’s no clear proof for or against anything in the books. That said, there are plenty of little potential hints and clues which haven’t made it to the show, and which fans of one theory or another like to claim as “proof.”

            * There are several theories out there. R+L=J is a big one. (And some of its adherents can be particularly… fanatical.)

            * Even within the realm of R+L=J, people disagree on whether Rhaegar did kidnap Lyanna, or if it was more of a grand romance. Again, no proof either way.

      • mrspidey80

        It’s not a spoiler. However, it is THE most popular theory amongst book readers, and you just figured it out on your own. Congratulations.

    • Deceptively Calm Scientist

      I spotted that look as well, but I can’t figure out how Littlefinger (who was but a mere fingernail at the time) could know anything about it. Maybe his default facial expression is just .

      • Lyanna Mormont

        I took it as surprise that she identified with Lyanna, because of course Petyr never considered her important as anything but a plot point. Why should anyone care what Lyanna may have wanted? he was wondering… but smiled indulgently at Sansa’s little foolishness.

  • Deceptively Calm Scientist

    That was ANOTHER fantastic episode. And for so many of the characters we’re now firmly into either post-book or on-book territory so i have no idea what’s going to happen next. It’s great!
    I am getting a little tired of FCM’s one trick for persuading men.
    FCM: “See? I have boobs! Do what I want.”

    Bronn and Jamie: this has potential for being the best odd couple yet, and it also had potential for Bad Shit Happening. This isn’t going to end well, is it?
    Slight criticism: as nice as it is to see “Dorne” on the map now (complete with wacky Snake Maypole or whatever that is), the country is called Dorne. I presume they mean Sunspear (which I vaguely remember being the capital).
    Two major Rhaegar name-drops this episode. Do you think they’re trying to tell us something? And one of those drops in front of Lyanna’s statue. Not Subtle, boys!
    Gendry’s still rowing, and the Blackfish is still pissing, as far as we know. I’ll be curious to see if we ever hear from Edmure Tully again – I mean, wedding nights can be captivating but…

    Your updates continue to be the wind beneath my wings on Mondays.

    • I’m right there with you with FCM’s constant sexual persuasion. There should be more to her than a (ridiculously perfect) body. I mean, there IS, but she keeps going the one route.

      I really think that snake almost killing him and Bronn getting to it first is some foreshadowing of what’s to come. :(

      Oho, so they’re just consolidating Dorne on the map? Its entirety is just the one place? Probably because we Unsullied would have no idea of the capital’s name. The only thing I know specifically about Dorne is the palace is called The Water Gardens. *shrug*

      HAHAHA, Blackfish! Where the hell did he bolt off to? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW. Maybe he’s discovered Gendry and they’re taking a side trip in the row boat? :D

      So glad you’re enjoying my spastic flailing! Hahaha.

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        Incidentally, the FCM actress, Carice van Houten, is a total goofball. I like her.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      The fact that Jaime and Bronn had that discussion about how they’d like to die worries me.

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        Oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way. Crap, now I’m worried. Since Jaime has some unspecified Grand Fate to go to, it could be Bronn? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      • Eddie H

        So is Bronn the partner that is two weeks away from retirement? What with his “I want a boring death when I’m old” talk.

        • If he sighs, stubs out a freshly lit smoke and says, “I’m getting too old for this shit,” then we know he’s a goner for sure. :(

  • See, I hadn’t seen the appeal for Stannis until he showed up like a boss in S4. And now I’m all in. I could see him being an excellent king, ruling all of Westeros. I’d like him to then pass the torch on to Daenerys after she’s had some seasoning. :D

    AND SERIOUSLY, HIS LOVE FOR LITTLE NEWT HITS ME SQUARE IN THE FEELS. #Daddies #notthecreepyfetishkind #thelovingkind

    The Unsullied def. didn’t appear as bad ass as we’ve been told they are, but I can handwave it for the following: spears suck in close quarters and they were outnumbered. That was a tactical strike. Now, put both sides on a battlefield? I don’t think there’s any chance they’d be so handily trumped. (But keep in mind, every Son of the Harpy who showed up bit it in the end, and at the hand of the Unsullied and Barristan.)

    • Deceptively Calm Scientist

      Bear in mind that the Unsullied are trained to be soldiers, and soldiers aren’t necessarily good peacekeepers. It’s that whole asymmetric warfare thing.

    • Zack

      One of my favorite aspects of this particular show/books is how it can present an unsympathetic character only to later show that your previous opinions have been formed from an incomplete picture. In the first book, Jaime is the antagonist, pushes a kid out of a window to keep his incest a secret, attacks Ned Stark unprovoked, on top of you know, breaking his oath and killing the King he swore to protect….then later, through circumstances, our view of Jaime shifts.

      I bring this up because you say it took you a while to come around on Stannis. I think he is burdened early on with that same incomplete picture, and of course he’s a rival to our hero, Robb Stark. But when Robb is gone and Stannis looks at what happened as a result of his death, with the cruel Boltons seizing power…he’s now set to clash with them, and the contrast of Stannis v. the Boltons helps make him more likable too. So I’d say your initial uncertainty regarding Stannis was 100% justified for the time.

      I agree….I think he’d make for a fine King, or perhaps a man in a strong position maybe on the Small Council were Dany to ultimately return to rule, and in a mood to be forgiving to the family responsible for her exile of course :)

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        And vice versa! Sympathetic characters turn out to be awful rulers (Dany, Tommen).

  • magnusk_98

    I will honestly say that I prefer the series over the books right now. The first three books have been completely adapted by now and they were, in total, better than the series.

    But the fourth and fifth book are getting done now at breakneck speed (I would honestly be surprised if anything of them is left at the end of season five) and things are being changed up considerably. Given that I was not really enamored about the obvious dithering GRRM did in book four and five, this faster pace is really good for the plot.

    And, of course, shorty we will all be unsullied. I think nobody can seriously believe GRRM that he’ll get book six ready before season six is done (I mean, they got to start filming right after the season five wraps up in June, right?), so the series will be completely original at that point. I hope the writers are up to it, but I think so far they’ve shown that they are.

  • Lyanna Mormont

    Oh, that scene between Shireen and Stannis was perfect, well written and beautifully acted. The look on his face when he realized he was going to have to talk about FEELINGS. The way he scoffed at the trader’s assumption that new fathers are easy targets, but bought the damn doll anyway. The silence that lets us know what the doll brought with it. That oh-so-awkward hug.

    Also perfect? Jaime’s face as he looked across the water at Tarth.

    Jaime’s learning how to use his golden hand, mainly for how to get out of things he doesn’t want to do, but also in a fight. No joke, as he was trying to hold off that Dornish soldier I kept telling him “Club him with your hand! It’s hard, it’ll disorient him!” He didn’t listen, but what he did worked too, I guess.

    (I did a lot of talking to the screen during this episode. “Don’t you dare hurt Loras! Don’t you dare hurt Myrcella! Stop creeping on Sansa! Stop pawing Jon!” And then the last couple of minutes I was just going “Nononononononononono….”)

    Cersei, oh Cersei. You’re willing to create an Inquisition just to strike back at Margaery through her brother. This couldn’t possibly backfire in any way whatsoever. Note the tidbit that it was the Targaryens who disarmed the Faith Militant (and there are two words that should never go together) once upon a time. The Targaryens, who had freaking DRAGONS. Do you have dragons, Cersei? Just in case you need to disarm the zealots?

    Poor hapless Tommen. “Aren’t you and mother getting along?” And Margaery pulls herself back, remembers that she’s supposed to charm him, not rant at him. And that poor kid can’t face spilling the blood of the faithful on the steps of the Sept.

    Now, I love the Sand Snakes, but they could’ve been introduced better. Obara’s monologue, while good characterization, felt like heavy exposition in a way that this show usually manages to avoid. Killing the captain was stupid, because now nobody will ever bring them any news again. And Ellaria, I know what you’ve lost – which is reinforced by the fact that Tyene is obviously her daughter, which shows how long Oberyn and Ellaria were together – but We. Don’t. Hurt. Little. Girls.

    (Her horse was amazingly beautiful, though.)

    Was that The Rains of Castamere Tyrion was trying to sing through his gag? He can’t help but show off his wit and knowledge, but Jorah is Not Amused.

    Rhaegar stories. Of course Sansa is going to think of Lyanna’s side of the story, because she knows what it’s like to have her fate decided by the whim of a prince/king. “Rhaegar chose” indeed. And how like LF to brag about being a betting man when he’s essentially using Sansa as his stake, with her taking all the risks. Stannis is looking for a Stark to rally the North for him, it’s true, but will he think Sansa is worthy or will he hold her marriages against her? That is, if he even wins. Also, Wardeness is a stupid word. Just call her Warden and be done with it.

    I don’t want to talk about Meereen. I don’t. Nonononononononoooooo…. That scene between Barristan and Daenerys seemed so much like a last happy moment. But Grey Worm can’t be dead, he has unfinished story with Missandei!

    • I’ve been gathering from different Unsullied boards (read: WoTW, which is my safe place away from here) that a lot of people didn’t like the formal/stilted way the Sand Snakes were introduced. You know, it didn’t bother me at all, because I took it as a cultural difference for the Dornish. They speak in a formal, grandiose way. (And I don’t know from the show if all of the girls live together, or if they’re just aware of each other, which could be why the others didn’t know Obara’s soliloquy.) IDK, I ain’t bovvered. :D

      AND AGREED ON WARDENESS. Warden. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

  • LEW

    “But that wasn’t Ned Stark’s way” Stannis says when Selyse comments on Jon’s bastard-status.

    Is this the first time Jon Snow’s Ned-Parentage has been explicitly questioned? I feel like it is. And in the same episode, Sansa’s certainty about Lyanna’s rape and kidnapping by Rhaegar is challenged. In the crypt. As Sansa prepares for a wedding to an acknowledged enemy. Possibly for her own, independent, vengeance-minded gain.

    And meanwhile, Daenerys learns how her “last dragon” of a brother was actually more of a sensitive artist type than a warrior. And Jaime wrestles with Bronn’s insinuations about his “niece.”

    As for Jon himself, well Melisandre and Stannis both keep seeing something in him. Melisandre, a lady who seems to like her king’s blood strong. Hm.

    Presumably, somewhere North of the Wall. A tree is yelling at Bran “YO! R + L = J! ICE AND FIRE, GET IT?!?”

    (I’m guessing. All of this is still just conjecture, I swear.)

    Elsewhere, my church and state power struggle senses are tingling (and my Cersei-Slipping haunches are up), the Sand Snakes are friggin’ amazing (and oh, what? More Daddy issues?), Super-Sardonic Tyrion and Super-Serious Jorah are going to prove almost as fun a combo as Ja’Bromie, while Stannis (and Mace) Dad(-Joke) their ways into my unwilling heart, and Dany’s paternal protector falls defending her cause.

    Fathers. Is what I’m saying.

    Also: My comment on your premiere recap (the one that got deleted) had a lot of happy sighing over Loras and Margery interacting like siblings, because it kind of reminded me of me and my brother. Though, of course, when I walk in on him with another dude, I leave. I am sighing less happily this week, because, you know, noooooo, but I am still so happy that their bond was and is so established.

    I bet that if Margery had a kid by an enemy, and died giving birth to it, Loras would pretend it was his bastard. Just saying.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Oooooh. Good catch on the fatherhood theme.

      I’ve been worried about Loras ever since he said in the premiere that he didn’t need to hide. When will people learn not to make statements like that?

      It was very crafty of Cersei to get Mace out of the way first. She’s just stripping Margaery of all her allies, isn’t she? (Oh, crap. She’d better not harm Olenna, if she returns for Loras. Although frankly my money would be on Olenna.) And there was a certain ominousness in the way she insisted on sending Ser Meryn with Mace. To make sure he doesn’t come back too soon, or to make sure he doesn’t come back at all?

      Melisandre gives me the creeps every time she mentions Shireen having king’s blood. Step away from the kid, lady. Step away.

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        Hah, good point about Loras! “What could possibly go wrong?”
        I actually find Cersei’s plot dmb even by her standards. I mean, Lancel? Hello? Glass houses?
        As for Ser Meryb, he’s now headed to Braavos, where a certain girl mentions his name in her prayers every day…

        • Lyanna Mormont

          Oh, I agree about the stupidity. But at least she managed to plan ahead short term, even if she utterly fails at the long term.

          • Deceptively Calm Scientist

            A lot also depends on what her final move against Margaery will look like. Is she content with just isolating her and trivializing her, or does she want something more awful? If the latter, she’d better hope Olenna doesn’t have any more lethal jewelry lying around…

          • UM. WE DON’T KNOW THAT SHE UTTERLY FAILS IN THE LONG TERM. =(

            • Lyanna Mormont

              Nonono. We know that she’s failing to PLAn for the long term! no comment on the outcome, but she’s not thinking ahead, not considering the risks.

              • WHEW, OMG, Lyanna, I was about to burst into tears thinking you’d forgotten this was an Unsullied joint, ahahaha! A THOUSAND PARDONS, carry on! :D

      • LEW

        Yeah, I had been spoiled that someone died this episode (“Game of Thrones’ First Big Casualty of the Season Talks THAT Scene” SHUT UP, Entertainment Weekly!) so when Loras got that cameo in the “Previously on…” I hurt myself shaking my head.

        And I can’t comment on Cersei’s game-playing skills here with my book-learnin’, but you’re right. She knows what she’s doing, and that’s a good move. We’ll see how it works out for her.

        And Melisandre gives me the creeps every time she mentions blood period. Never forget the leeches (or Gendry). Never. Step away from everyone, lady.

        • Deceptively Calm Scientist

          *wince*

        • Lyanna Mormont

          Someone has died in every episode so far – someone we knew the name of, and who had been in more than one season. Mance, Mossador, Janos Slynt…

          • LEW

            You’re right. I didn’t write the headline, though. I was just speaking to a contributing factor in my episode-long, Loras-related unease.

            • I dislike that sort of clickbait headline crap, too, and for the same reason.

        • Eddie H

          Are we certain that they died? Grey Worm and Ser Barristan. Like the spirit left their body for good? I need a GoT version of Talking Dead where they do the in memoriam every episode just to make sure.

  • Lyanna Mormont

    Well, I love Stannis, but I can absolutely understand why Brienne isn’t Team Stannis. ;)

  • Moriah Gemel

    I got my ability to watch the show back! Huzzah!

    I’ve read above comments and I’m so glad we can discuss now the theory that Jon Snow is Lyanna and Rhaegar’s son. I also think this and I am excited to see if the show goes there. From FCM going to make nooky with Jon, I think they’re going there. King’s blood, etc.

    Can I just say I like Stannis more and more? Like I didn’t like him so much, but as time goes on I start to like him, and the thing with Shireen in this ep just touched the parent in me, and I got some sympathy for the guy, and that lead to me liking him a little bit. And I mean…technically he does have a claim to the throne, so I’m not entirely averse to him making his way down to King’s Landing to rule…at least until Dany gets her shit together, y’know?

    I still don’t know what the Stone Men are? They’re in Valyria apparently but I don’t get it? Are they people with Greyscale?

    • Lyanna Mormont

      In the previous episode, when the priestess was speaking in Volantis, Tyrion made a comment that seemed to imply that Stone Men were linked to greyscale somehow. Stannis’s story seemed to confirm that.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Oh yeah:

        Priestess: “He hears the king as he hears the slave; he hears the Stone Men in their misery.”

        Tyrion: “Stone Men. Good luck stopping the spread of greyscale with prayer.”

    • Those of us who only have the shows to go off of, and maybe who don’t watch them multiple times don’t have the benefit of the book readers who know to catalog and remember every name, place and piece of history for Future Reasons. Especially back in S1 when we didn’t get the depth of the storytelling that would be a hallmark of this show.

      I say all of that to point out that you and I both were scratching our heads over Stone Men and why they’re important. We’re just now learning about them (and indeed we’re learning all about Greyscale in S5), and I get frustrated when book readers are shocked that some of us don’t inherently know things we haven’t read.

      ANYWAY, I’m so glad you got your ability to watch the show back!! And we are totally agreed on Shireen and Stannis and how flipping sweet that Daddy-Daughter moment was. I love the reminder that he really and truly loves his little girl and worries for her. <3 <3 <3

      • Eddie H

        The rabbit hole never ceases to go deeper. By this point, at least, everyone knows that any detail can possibly be important.

  • Damn, I should’ve waited with Sparrow Inquisition jokes. Cersei, maybe you should stop drinking and giving armies to religious fanatics. Please?

    You gotta Oberyn: He goes to find his bastard (!) girls (Obara is probably the daughter of a lowborn woman by her story), takes them to court and teaches them how to fight (Sidenote: I love whips as weapons). I know that Dorne isn’t as misogynistic as the rest of Westeros but I imagine these are still huge steps.

    I still hold out hope that Greyworm might still be alive. Barristan is unfortunately totally dead (damn you spoilery preview) but what a way to go.

    • Greyworm had some pretty bad stab wounds, and one was a gut stab, so who knows if the healers can get to him in time? I HOPE SO TOO because as you all know, I’m desperate for some Missandei and Greyworm tender feelings.

      (And I love whips as weapons too! They’re underrated. I mean, I grew up on Indiana Jones, okay? I LIKE WHIPS.

      …not like that.)

      Ha!

      • Deceptively Calm Scientist

        All I’m saying is, if I’m going to get whipped, I’d prefer it to be by her.

  • Lisa

    I don’t think the sons of the Harpy are religious based. I think they’re an insurgency in the vein of the rise of the kkk during reconstruction post civil war

    • Hey! As I mentioned just above this, the show has a Harpy (their symbol, I guess?) on a pyramid and has presented them as a fanatical group, which screams religion to me.

      And I’m not a book reader, so I can only go by what the show tells us and it’s not telling us they’re anything other than chaos for Dany, really.

      Time will tell! (By which I mean us non-readers who don’t have the background info book readers do.)

      • Lisa

        Truthfully I don’t know the answer. I read the book but gods know I skimmed Mereen … A lot!!! And that was years ago. I couldn’t discuss its particulars if I tried. I honestly don’t know and don’t remember. It just feels a hell of a lot like slave owners pissed that their lifestyle has been altered and wanting to go back to Tara as it used to be.

        Of course this doesn’t preclude a religious aspect. Southern Baptist and Southern Methodist both came about as Southerners breaking away from the larger church over the issue of slavery and creating sects that would argue that slavery was a moral way to live.

  • I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.

  • Hello! So glad you joined us! And thanks for catching my typo with regards to Lyanna. I mentioned her multiple times throughout the recap, but must have blipped mentally on that one.

    As for the Sons of the Harpy, we non-book readers have no idea that they’re not a religion. They’ve sort of alluded to them as being fanatics, and the Harpy on a temple/pyramid sort of makes me think they are a religion? Maybe just on the show, or rather the show needs to explicitly state otherwise. Either way, they’re fascinating!

  • Deceptively Calm Scientist

    And even worse, when the early bits of the prophecy came true (e.g. not marrying the prince but the king, 3 kids for her and 20 for him, etc.) it must have made her even more paranoid about the “younger queen” bit…

  • caycos

    I reckon the whole Rhaegar and Lyanna thing might be a big old trap, making people think they know, and then….. BAM. Gotcha, haha.

    We’ll see :)

    Also, they’re going to Get Ramsay before Sansa has to marry him. Right? Right.

    • HA, you’re probably right! Although, hmm, I don’t know that R + L = J is as glaringly obvious/a red herring as long-time readers might think. It didn’t hit me until the morning after while chatting in comments, honestly.

      BUT YES, WE’LL SEE and I’ll enjoy the whole process! :D

      OMG, let’s hope you’re right re: Ramsay. #TeamSansaNotGettingTorturedorFedToDogs

      • LEW

        There’s actually a contingent who believe that the whole thing has been made too obvious to be true. They…might have a point? Personally, I think Jon (and the issue of his parentage) has a bit more narrative weight than he maybe should; it’s clear that he’s the key to something. That, plus the whole ice and fire theme, leads me to suspect the only union we know of with both a Stark and a Targaryen.

        And honestly, I hope Sansa gets to Ramsay before Stannis does. #TeamSansaFightsBack

        • Deceptively Calm Scientist

          I love that theory, by the way. Jon’s all set to hear his mysterious parentage revealed and then some grizzled coot shows up and says “Yeah, yer dad just got reeeeeeeely drunk one night in the Decaying Codpiece Inn and this waitress called Thrushy Thran took a shine to him and…” *sad trombone sound*

  • Eddie H

    I was so scared for her that he would basically say “yeah you embarrass me pretty hard, kid.” There was so much redemption for him in that moment.

  • JCDavis

    *falls off chair laughing* I KNOW I am not the only one who got the Aliens reference. “I’m so glad we got her off LV-426 in the nick of time”. LOL Good one there for Newt!! I just hope she doesn’t show up with the head of a doll at some point. Oh and I just have to say that I wish Sansa’s lips were like Dorothy’s ruby red slippers and any time Poopslinger got within three inches of her it would zap his face off!! SO creepy. Another well played post Mz Laura!! Just a thought, do you think that Drogon can go “between”? :D Just my toss out to McCaffrey!!

    • Deceptively Calm Scientist

      I did catch the reference but then I remembered that getting off LV-426 didn’t end well for Newt…

      • JCDavis

        Not so much, I still found it clever as hell. Now with regards to Shireen…I think the jury is still out for her fate. For some reason I ain’t holding my breath.

      • Dennai

        Maybe the new chapter of Alien they are about to star shooting changes that. It is confirmed that Hicks is alive and well (as well as you could be after a shower of Xenomorph blood anyway). I don’t know about Newt yet though.

        • Deceptively Calm Scientist

          Oh yeah, that’s right. Are they just going to pretend Alien 3-4 never happened?

          • JCDavis

            w0t he said ^ This website I went to about all things Aliens said that both Hicks and Newt are most certainly dead.

            • Dennai

              I don’t want to derail this thread talking about Alien films, so this will be my last word about it. I haven’t found anything in the web where an official source claims that Hicks and Newt are dead in relation to the upcoming film. Instead, I’ve found several official sources that, while writing nothing on stone, leave at the very least the possibility of one/both of them being alive in the film that Blomkamp is preparing. Anybody wants to discuss this further, feel free to email me.

      • It didn’t. POOR NEWT! Only Riley made it off USS Sulaco. :(

    • Hee, I’ve been calling her Newt since we met her (mostly) because every time Selyse gets sharp with her, I want to yell, GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH! [robot pimp slap]

      HAHAHAHAHA, that would be WONDERFUL if Sansa’s lips had that power!! Pardon me while my skin walks RIGHT OFF MY BODY from an extreme case of the creepies.

      OMG, I hope Drogon knows where he’s going then, so he doesn’t get stuck! WE HAVE FAITH MILITANT TO BURNINATE.

  • Deceptively Calm Scientist

    I suppose that Jon Snow, if he truly is Rhaegar and Lyanna’s, could be a legitimate Targaryen if we make two assumptions: 1.) Rhaegar married Lyanna and 2.) Polygamy is legal in Westeros. Doesn’t seem likely.
    So yes, I agree with you 100%.

  • JCDavis

    What movie is that gif with Peter Dinklage from?

    • hi! Sorry for the delay in replies–I was in court all day yesterday.

      And it’s from Penelope!

  • “I do think FCMs “you know nothing” is (combined with the significant look she gave him) a hint that she has stalked his ex of FB (Fire Brazier), not just fan service.” I HOPE THIS IS RIGHT. (That’s just about how I ultimately took it, too.)

  • JCDavis

    Oooooh Pobrecita!! I just saw the picture of you crying when Oberyn was killed. I know how that felt I was “no good” for days after. Sorry to post this on this side, but I wanted you to see the post. AND that certainly deserves a nice little donation to keep your fun site going. On my next paycheck you can take it to the bank!! I swear it by the Old Gods and New. You poor dear. I think the Kleenex company made some money that episode.

    • HAHAHA, YOU ARE SO KIND! Oh man, the best thing about the group over here is how LOVELY they all were that episode. I knew a few of y’all had been biting your nails, waiting for me to realize the character I’d put so much faith in had bit the dust. :D

      I can’t do this without you guys! (Or rather, who the hell would want to? <3)

  • JCDavis

    *picks self up off the floor where rolling and laughter certainly happened*
    I just watched the dude on Gay of Thrones call the Sand Snakes and Ellaria – are you ready for it??? Kris Jenner with her daughters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian. *wipes eyes*
    TWO DAYS!! See you then.

  • Ashley Lynn

    So on the whole R+L=J thing (btw I’ve been reading your recaps for multiple fandoms and have come out of lurking) the proof could be with Jon’s direwolf Ghost. His was the only albino, which if we remember most of the Targaryen’s were. He’s always in both book and show been called the prettiest, which again Targaryen’s were all pretty waifs with dragons. They only thing is he looks like a Stark on the outside but due to the fact that the wolves represented all of the kids Jon’s ‘this one is not like the other’s’ wasn’t because he was Ned’s bastard. So yeah my two cents on that. But hot damn let’s talk about Oberyn’s hot ass heck daughters! Shit I can’t wait for them to rekt face bring me all the ladies!

    And I know someone said that the were tired of FCM’s one note ‘tits out, lord of light up’ attack but think about it she used to be a slave. So she knows that men’s hearts are weak and that sex is the quickest way to getting what she wants. And she is right about that and has been batting 1 dudes- 2 FCM. So betting on her being right is a pretty solid one.

    I also love how we get to just HOW intelligent Tyrion is and how Cersi should’ve been using him to get what she wanted all along. Like dudes’s been wasted 24-7 and he still was able to get what Jorrah’s motives were. I wanna be him ngl.