Game of Thrones 6.2 – Home

Hodor Game of Thrones

Hodor? HODOR. …h-Hodor! I did like that he, like Hagrid, is part giant.

[Previously!] SO NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. Nope. Not a thing. Bor-ing, eye-roll inducing lack of–

lies, filthy lies. Okay, so we’re getting into the whole magic/mythos of the world. FINALLY. It’s just been, you know, 6 seasons… (Don’t mind me, I’m just antsy because there was a LOT that happened.) Remember, who has two thumbs and is Unsullied? THIS GAL! No spoilers be found, so thank you kindly for being a bro and helping me enjoy the whole discovery thing.

PYKE IS BACK ON THE MAP. I stood and cheered, y’all. We’re friends. I can tell you this, right? I just love this show, you guys. Warts and all, I love it. I LOVE IT. I’m a ride-or-die kinda gal, and you need to know this about me.

We start out tonight with Bran tangled up in Harold’s roots, err, Warging (VisionQuesting?) with the 3-Eyed Raven, and specifically to a flashback of Ned and Benjen practicing at the sword, and aww Lyanna, too.  Ned tells his brother how he needs to keep his shield up AND JUST CLICK THE LINK THEN COME BACK O___O. Bran learns that Hodor was in Ned’s life, part giant, part human, all gentle. <3 But it’s just a quickie jaunt into happy times, because this is Game of Thrones, and it’s best Bran learns that he doesn’t get to enjoy things to completion.

Bran: …I finally get to see something I like and you’ll all LOL NOPE? The hell?
3 Eyed Raven: It is beautiful beneath the sea. But if you stay too long, you’ll drown.
Bran: I’m a teenager trapped in a frickin’ tree. Shut up with the metaphorical stuff for once, would you? You’re not my real dad! HODOR, CARRY ME OFF IN A VISIBLE HUFF.
Hodor: Hodor just pawn in game of thrones life.

Bran tells Hodor, who is outside at the base of the tree, that Bran saw him as a boy, and Hodor gives the most emotional “Hodor” yet. So, I am actually obsessed? Right now? About Hodor? So, A++ job, show/books. M-O-O-N, that spells my broken heart over Wylis the giant child with the heart of Hodor.

Meera’s also outside the magic tree, and I just love the exposed roots. As a Master Gardener *cough* those roots would be dead and that tree would not be getting any nutrients/water from them. There’s a part of me that wants to know that there is magic and they absorb stories or emotions or… I don’t know. I’m weird. Ignore me. Hodor has me emotional. Hodor. Like, I get it, now, why people just reply with that.

Hodor, amirite? You’re basically going to get that–and only that–as a recap from now on.*

*that is a dirty lie. The dirtiest lie I ever told.

I know Bran is paralyzed, but him lying on the snow talking to Meera was so, “Paint me like your French girls” that I laughed. Random Tree Groupie makes sure Meera knows that they won’t always stay north of the Wall and she needs to be Bran’s sword. I think we all can agree on one thing: Hodor.

Lord Butt Hurt (Ser Alliser for any newbies) tells Ser Davos and the dudes trapped inside with Jon Snow’s body that there is NO WAY ON EARTH they would do anything uncool. Like, they’re so cool, they’re frozen. Not like Undead cool, but cool like they won’t totally slaughter everyone in that room as soon as the door opens, definitely didn’t draw out a map of how to take them all out lickity split, one-two-three. Like, ha, why would they even think to do that? So like, come on out, let them burn Jon Snow’s body, and everyone dies. Shit, everyone goes free? Crap.

Things I love: Davos grabbing Jon Snow’s (Lord Mormont’s) Valyrian-steel sword and saying “I’m a bit shit at fighting, so apologies for what I’m gonna do.”

Before the Watch can break through, Wun Wun and the Wildlings freaking BREAK DOWN THE GATE to the Castle Black and Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër (Tormund) is all, “WE CAME TO CHEW GUM AND FIGHT FOR JON SNOW, and we’re all out of gum.” The Black Watch immediately… pisses their pants and pats their pockets.

Black Watch: OH YOU NEED GUM WE HAVE GUM DO YOU LIKE GUSHERS, STRAIGHT UP TRIDENT OR CINNAMON BECAUSE WE…
One Stupid Dude: [ARROWS GIANT] Ha ha! …shit.
Wun Wun: BRAIN MEET WALL [splot]

Things I need you to know about me: I shouted, laughed, and clapped my hands with utter glee. I’m gross. Carry on.

Black Watch: WE ARE ALL FIERCELY ALLERGIC TO FIGHTING AND WEAPONS SUDDENLY.
Lord Butt Hurt: [EPI PEN TO THIGH] Imma fight for my right to be a douche!
Dolorous Freaking Edd: You’re going to fight off boredom and aching joints in a CELL. Oooh, sick burn on Alliser. Also, grab that PoS kid Orly, whoever, and throw him in, too.
Wildlings: So about that free land…
Edd: Is this the moment?!
Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër: My superior hunting skills tell me Jon Snow was stabbed by a lot of people. And with everything you know about the Undead in this world, you haven’t burned him yet?? Amateurs.

Please note that my eye was constantly on that Valyrian steel sword in Davos’ hand.

UH. Cut to King’s Landing, with some regular dude doing the whole public, “Cersei Lannister is so thirsty for my dong, oh my god” thing. I loved the woman rolling her eyes (there was a guy who did, too, ahaha). He goes to piss and FrankenMountain shoves his face into the wall SPLOT. Somehow it was funnier when Wun Wun did it.

…it’s still funny. Wun Wun’s was just funnier. Very “Hulk pissed at Thor”, but with more tenderized brain matter.

When Cersei pulls a thread from her gown, then secretly tosses it aside, did anyone else get Greek myth of the Fates vibes about someone’s life coming to an end? I mean, if ever there was a “weird sister”…

Cersei is barred from Myrcella’s funeral by her own precious Tommen, and I delighted in how terrified the Kingsguard were of FrankenMountain, yet still fulfilled their oath at preventing her attendance. Those are some solid dudes right there.

We see Myrcella with her blue eye stones on her crypt, and I wonder, was it only yesterday when Weaselteat died and his mommy/daddy aunt/uncle boned next to his dead body? Sigh. Where does the time fly…

Tommen Myrcella Jaime Lannister

That is the POUTINGEST king I’ve ever seen. Also, how sad that daddy is with all three kids right now? (I assume Weaselteat is moldering somewhere close.)

Jamie’s there with Tommen, and Daddy Uncle wants to know why Cersei isn’t allowed in. Why, the Church said she couldn’t, Tommen replies.

Are you a King or not?

Tommen: Decidedly not. [sucks thumb]

The Pope-Sept comes in and repositions himself. Jaime tells his son, er, nephew to go run along now. I FINALLY hear (book readers? This stuff wasn’t clear to show-only viewers) what the hell the stones are about, which is to open our eyes to see the next life.

Ho hum.

Jaime, though, blasts some Kanye, bows up and starts in on, “Oh, you think you know some judgement? Let me tell you everything I’ve done wrong and everything that I want to do to you. [hand on sword] In excruciating detail.”

Bad Pope: You’d spill blood in a holy place?
Jaime: It’s like you’re purposely misremembering everything about religion ever.
Bad Pope: You can’t win, UncleDaddy. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Jaime: Pfft—
Shifty Religious Types: [appear in menacing fashion] HE MEANT THAT IF YOU KILL HIM, WE KILL YOU. Not some Jedi shit, but like actual takeover stuff.
Jaime: I… huh. Let me revisit some strategy.
Bad Pope: You do that.

Tommen goes to his Mommy and apologizes to her, and it’s actually touching. “You raised me to be strong. And I wasn’t. But I want to be.” HAPPY MOTHER’S (almost) DAY, CERSEI. They’re numbered, so you should probably enjoy it.

Tyrion and Varys hash out their must-be-revised strategy with regards to losing an entire fleet. So it’s looking grrrreeeeat: the slavers have taken back Astapor and whatsitsplace, the dragons are starving themselves because they miss their mommy, and no sign of their mommy anywhere! Tyrion suggests they turn the dragon loose. He remembers the history, after all, and dragons want to stretch their legs, er, wings. Trogdor needs to burninate the villages to keep a smile on his face.

…you want to turn the dragons loose? DRAGONS. Just… send some dragons outside.

Tyrion is all, these dragons will not hurt you. They’re your pals! Let’s go hang out with them and prove that I know what I’m talking about.

Everyone: YEAH GO ON DOWN THERE AND SAY HELLO, HALFMAN.
Tyrion: FINE. I will. Hooooooooolyshit I am not drunk enough for this. H-hi kitty?
Dragons: HEY HI LET’S BE BEST FRIENDS. BTW, we’re being sarcastic.
Tyrion: Yeah, I picked up on that. So your mom and I are in Bunko together and she’s not going to be able to pick you up, but I said I would, and I brought juice boxes and she’ll be back super fast, promise.

Tyrion Lannister dragons

Nice work on whoever designed his absorbent pants. (You know he was pissing himself, please.)

(I actually love that he addresses them like intelligent creatures. Maybe even more so than their mother does? Which is maybe a mother thing, but who knows.)

He unhooks their collars, freaks the hell out as he leaves, and this is everything I could want. Tyrion reliving a sad moment as a child when he learned that dragons were gone from the world, and touching their sides and freeing them… [kisses fingers] Tyrion Lannister continues to be my fa… I DON’T LOVE HIM AT ALL. NOPE. Because when you love things their eyes get punched in, so he’s okay, I guess. Pfft. [incoherent noises]

A Girl shows up to tenderize Arya Stark until she finally gets mad enough to take a swing, but A Girl has left. Was she ever there? Jaqen stops her mid-strike and says, “If A Girl says her name, A Man will let her sleep under a roof tonight.”

Admiral Akbar: It’s a trap!
Jaqen: If a girl has a name, she can eat. If a girl has a name she can have her eyes back.
Arya: A Girl has no name. A GIRL HAS NO GEE DEE NAME. AHHH!!
Jaqen: Niiiiiice.

Lord Karstark lets Roose Bolton know the “best hunters” his bastard boy Ramsay set on Sansa Stark are all dead. Ramsay offers, “Let’s just kill the Night’s Watch and take her?”

Roose is all, see, this is why I didn’t want to claim you. Ramsay throws out the names of the bannermen who would be loyal to them and how the numbers line up. “It’s time for new blood in the north.” This Lesser Karstark seems to be made of Ramsay-material.

Fortunately (I can’t believe I’m saying this) Roose is very level-headed. “If you behave as a mad dog, you’ll be treated as a mad dog.” Meanwhile, Lady Walder has just birthed a boy, so it seems like Ramsay isn’t really needed, huh? I’d keep my eyes on that fucker, because he’s going to murder that baby straight-away. OH SHIT NO, HE’S GOING TO MURDER HIS DAD STRAIGHT AWAY. Christ almighty, didn’t see that coming!

Roose Bolton Ramsay Bolton

“I… don’t know what I expected. That’s on me. Everyone? That’s on me, oh shit, kidney.. I’m a goner. [dies]”  PERFECT TIME for a “Hail Hydra,” btw.

Lord Karstark is cool with this, so… in on it? Clearly. Ramsay has a raven sent out that his dad was poisoned by enemies, RGHT MR. ONCE SUPPORTED MY DAD BUT NOW STANDS BY MY SIDE? Right. And now it’s time to kill a newborn. Damn. But then, this is Ramsay, so he’ll probably toss it to his dogs.

FAT WALDA, I LOVE YOU. Walking around immediately after birthing her first, and holy shit. She’s terrified. She did nothing to deserve this life. AH SHIT, I WAS JOKING ABOUT THE DOGS. I WAS JOKING!

AHHHHH!!!!

Fat Walda Ramsay Bolton

AND THEN SHE WENT HOME TO THE RIVER FLATS. THE END. D:

(I literally write these as I watch. Oh my god.) Guys? I shouldn’t have said I love Fat Walda. This is on me. I take full blame.

“I prefer being an only child” is maybe the most ominous thing I’ve ever heard. Hooooly shit balls. Fat Walda? I love you. I love that your instinct was to curl in and protect your baby. Waah. [sad faces]

Sansa learns Arya is alive, though, so that’s nice? I’m still shaking over the whole new baby and mother thrown to the dogs. But Brienne is here with Sansa now, and they’re together, and I’m clinging to that like a baby Walda. [sob]

Pod tries to start a fire and someone needs to help him. You need to strike flint onto kindling, not the actual laid logs. COME ON, POD. GROW UP. Theon is having a “maybe I should just stay here” moment because he’s pretty sure Jon will have him killed when they show up at Castle Black. He knows he deserves it, too. He doesn’t want to be forgiven, because he doesn’t believe he can be forgiven. THEON. I’m Team Theon with this whole “found your sister and realized you’re still good somewhere deeeeeeep inside” way.

Sansa is devastated to think Theon won’t come with her. It’s a pretty touching moment of foster brother and sister, after all they’ve endured. He’s going back to the Iron Islands, but I don’t know that he’ll get a better reception there.

Speaking of, Yara continues to be awesome, and wow, I liked her and have missed her. She’s badass, tough, and stands up to her increasingly power-hungry and insane father. “So, we’re Islanders, and we’re not England of the 1700s. We’re modern-day England. We’re, like, solid with this island, here. And that’s it. And that’s okay?”

Her dad threatens to make a more obedient heir, and it’s flashing back to Roose for me. He’s out in a storm crossing a rickety bridge to one of the buildings, and some shadowy figure reveals himself to be Greyjoy’s brother. “What is dead may never die.”

Well, with Wight/White Walkers around, that’s pretty true. But Brother Greyjoy claims he IS the Drowned God, a sort of Dread Pirate Wesley. The brother, who looks a lot like Theon, tosses Lord Greyjoy right over into the sea. Well… that was easy? Oh shit, he still has Yara to contend with, though. Lord Greyjoy is buried the next day in a really cool ceremony. I appreciate all of the great mythology we’ve seen with regard to the Iron Born. For example: it’s not clear-cut that Yara will lead in her father’s place. It’s up to the council of Salty Retired Pirates.

Yara Greyjoy Iron Islands

out with the tide. This is really cool.

Davos finally sees a Fire Crotch Mage about a Dead Lord Commander and asks if there is some magic? Maybe? Something? To bring Jon Snow back? He was such a good kid, after all. She’s like, ugh, I’m so tired. I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day, so, satisfied I’m on my way…”

Davos is not okay with that, so she doubles down. “I’ve been lying? All along? There is no magic. You were right.”

Davos: YEAH, I DON’T CARE NOR DO I BELIEVE YOU. All gods are the same gods. I just want this one good kid back alive, so, help a brother out.
FCM: This is not my strong suite, but… Eh. What can it hurt?
Me: DON’T GET ME STARTED. PROBABLY HE’LL COME BACK AND EAT GHOST AND I’LL HATE THE WHOLE WORLD.

Jon Snow Red Woman

Be sure to get those sticky undersides, Mel.

Melissandre starts cleaning the body as Davos watches. She chants some things, cuts his hair (Ahh! Hair gate from the end of last season!) and puppy Ghost lies by the fire, seemingly undisturbed. She burns his hair in the flames, and I like that Edd is there, too as she washes the remnants of his hair. Samson, strength? I don’t know. Oh snap, Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër is there, too. Her hair is reddish, her necklace strong, but nothing is happening. She continues her chanting, growing more panicked and intense as nothing happens.

She whispers, “Please.” Nothing. She’s lost her faith. Her hair is brown! Tormund storms out. Ghost naps. Davos, Davos, though, keeps vigil a bit longer until he, too, leaves. All for nothing. But! Always trust a puppy, even though half the time they wake up from their own farts. Speaking of, Ghost wakes and gets to his feet.

AND JON SNOW, WAKES.

Jon Snow Resurrection

*pokes belly* HEE HEE!

He knows nothing… or does he?? Good lord, I want to know what Resurrection Snow remembers. OH MY GOD, picture him going down to the cells and showing himself to Lord Butt Hurt and Orly (I know that’s not his name, but he’s a little puke and from here out is Orly).

GUYS. JON. I mean, we all knew it. We did. (We worried. But.) Can I say that Tyrion freaking out and freeing the dragons was amazing?? TALK AT ME, omg.

But, as per usual, do not talk about the books. NOPE. DON’T. Do not. Don’t be that person. The show, what’s been on our TVs, that’s what we’re talking about. What did you think? Are you so happy Sansa knows her sister is alive?! I am so happy Sansa knows her sister is alive.

THE WORLD IS ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF STARK KIDS….

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  • Jieves

    I am a little surprised that Fat Walda and Son’s fate didn’t drain you a bit more. It was a bit too much for me — we’ve established that this is exactly the sort of thing Ramsey would do, but showing it does not tell us anything new about him, nor does it have the same emotional punch as a lot of other actions on the show. If they had either had him do something to the baby when he had it in his hands (I was terrified when he asked to hold it) or if they went subtle and just showed them all going into the kennels with a cut to some other story then I think it would have had more impact.

    Nope, didn’t see Roose’s death coming, surprised it came as quick as it did. One less man with dulcet tones on the show. I think this is a very bad decision from Ramsey’s point of view because it will deprive him of both a very good strategic mind and make it that much more difficult to hold his territory by proxy. But maybe Ramsey and the Karstark have some sort of master plan beyond, “We’ll just terrorize the smaller houses into staying in line.” I hope so, because I want the threat to our heroes to be bigger, not smaller.

    Was it just me or did Melisandre’s hands visibly age when she was laying them on Jon’s body?

    I will take as much Max von Sydow as they can give me.

    Hodor is really a tragic figure. Even before he got Hodor’d people were limiting his life prospects. Which is a central theme of the world, I know, but now I sort of wish he could be redeemed somehow.

    No Dothraki this episode. Actually kind of missed them.

    Go Tyrion! A victory for book-larnin’. But now the dragons are probably going to need letting out for fresh air every couple of days. (P.S. I don’t think Varys is as cool with his jokes as Tyrion thinks he is.)

    • “nor does it have the same emotional punch as a lot of other actions on the show” …which is why you guys aren’t getting an Oberyn Martell-level reaction from me. (Also, she’s a quadrutiary character. The show has put me on emotional fumes since 4.8.)

      I love so much that we’re seeing Max Von Sydow — and Roose’s voice shall be GREATLY missed, if he won’t be. <– famous last words, I'm sure.

      • Jieves

        I was thinking of your comments regarding Merwyn Trant at the end of last season: Why do we need to see this? In this case it is just Ramsey doing something horrible that we know he is capable of doing a few moments after we see him doing something horrible.

        • Andy Street

          Well it’s been a good couple of episodes since Ramsay has behaved like a total psychopath so perhaps they felt the audience needed reminding.

          I would have thought that Roose would have been a bit more on the ball about what Ramsay is capable of though. He couldn’t have been entirely surprised by that turn of events….

    • Raja

      I disagree. That scene does make Walda more than a paper thin character – the image of her curling up to protect her son from the dog is something that will stay with me. I feel like it humanizes ( this is certainly the incorrect spelling) a character that has been very one note so far – Though how on earth is Argus Filch okay with any of this?

      As a side note – nothing excites me more than flashbacks in GOT – I’m hoping we get more of them ( I’m almost certain we will)

      • Andy Street

        Walder Frey isn’t the type to take insults to his house lying down. I think we are getting some David Bradley later in the season so hopefully we will find out!

      • Jieves

        I’ve always liked Walda in the few scenes we have had with her. She seems to be a kind but not especially assertive person who has been put in company that is entirely unsuited to her, well, existence.

        On the other hand, I (like so many) am definitely looking forward to the head of the Frey clan re-entering the narrative and getting his comeuppance. Preferably at the hands of someone other than Ramsey.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        “Kill my daughter, will you? Or was she a granddaughter, I can’t remember. Well… I’ll make another.” But he will still want his pound of flesh, of course. He’s been robbed of having a descendant as future Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. THAT’S what will matter to him.

    • Tiffany

      Well I was confused as to why he would kill her. I thought he was going to separate them (mother and son), but hold them hostage to get the Frey’s to fall in line.
      I mean, isn’t Roose’s marriage to Walda suppose to keep the Frey’s on his side? And Ramsay’s marriage to Sansa was suppose to help sure up more help. So then why wouldn’t the Frey’s go to war against Ramsay – especially after finding out Ramsay also killed a legitmate heir?

      • Right! Like, he was going to kill that baby. I thought maybe he’d try to get another from her, honestly. Ramsay = impulsive in the worst ways.

        • chortles81

          It may not just be impulsivity: in hindsight Ramsay seems EXTREMELY northern-focused in how he conceives of “the world” despite the ironborn, whereas Roose has recently emphasized a need for northern cohesion (first to defend House Bolton’s position from other northerners but then) against potential southern invasion — although considering that all land routes to the north go through the riverlands, I somehow believe Roose never seriously expected Walder Frey to stand for him against a Lannister invasion — but the most thought Ramsay may extend south of the border with the riverlands is “claim that SOMETHING else killed Walda and her son, maybe ask Walder for another Frey wife while I’m at it”?

          I know it’s ironic to say that Ramsay’s mindset is northern-centric when Roose had to point out that marching against the Night’s Watch would turn all of the northern houses against him, though Ramsay believed that three houses would be enough allies… and that they’d stand with him despite what Roose just said.

    • chortles81

      Ramsay professes two beliefs in this episode, first that Houses Umber and Manderly are on House Bolton’s side and second that they plus the Karstarks are enough against “all the other houses combined”… I wonder how true either is though.

  • Jaehaerys

    No, you weren’t the only one to conjure Fates imagery when Cersei was pulling threads. I was also pleased that at least one Stark kid (Sansa) finally knows that all the others (save Robb, of course) are still alive, although Jon is the only one whose whereabouts are known to her for certain. Hopefully, she and Brienne show up at the Wall soon…which may well be the first potential for a Stark reunion that we’ve had since Ned died… well, the closest since Bran saw Jon at Craster’s Keep. Although Jon and Sansa weren’t the closest among the siblings (Sansa always took cues from her mother and treated Jon as more bastard than brother, in contrast to Arya). Still, I imagine they would both be glad to see one another. Not getting my hopes up, though. Sansa might be randomly abducted by grumpkins on the way to the Wall and thwart our hopes yet again for all we know. Still, these storylines appear to be converging and I am anxiously anticipating it.

    • Anthony Gitto

      Now I want to see Tormund try to seduce Sansa because they are both kissed by fire! Someone write the Fanfic!

      • ANTHONY GITTO SHE IS A YOUNG LADY LET HER ALONE

        • Anthony Gitto

          I didn’t say he had to be successful! Only attempt!

          • [FROWNING AT YOU]

            HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN.

            • Anthony Gitto

              Because boys her age have been Soooo much better for her amirite? ;)

              • …YOU KNOW THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS, YES? Ahem.

                • Anthony Gitto

                  Alright…I probably went a bit far with this ship. I’ll second Lyanna’s idea. Apologies

                  • OMG, no need for apologies. It’s just that I’m a MOM. I have DAUGHTERS. I’d cut a man’s balls off and feed ’em to them if they tried to seduce my girls. Ahahaha.

            • Lyanna Mormont

              He can adopt her as his foster daughter instead!

          • BOOOOOOOOOO ;)

      • moata

        I like to imagine that despite the rock star attitude that Tormund is really just a family man at heart.
        With the occasional side of fictional bear-based sex…

        • Raja

          He is indeed a family man. Tormund’s 2 sons and his daughter clearly didn’t make the show :(

  • Julie Martin

    Much to love and nits to pick with this episode. Tyrion and the dragons – so amazing, and I swear I saw a thought bubble over his head saying, “If I die as dragon kibble, that is just fine and dandy.” I have a hunch he will fly on one of those beasties one day. Half-man, half DRAGON, what now? This may be wishful thinking.

    Sansa/Brienne/Theon/Pod is such a great dynamic, I wish we had more than a few minutes of it before the breakup. As to Theon’s return home, I get the impression that he wants a terrible reception. Who knows if he will get it.

    Roose getting the same hug-stab he gave Robb felt good. Not good was the kennel situation. I think we all saw that coming, but why? Couldn’t we hear about it later? A lot of Ramsay’s misdeeds could benefit from tell-don’t-show, in my opinion.

    Very happy to see Jon 2.0. That whole scene was like a double fakeout. We all think she is there to bring him back, so clearly it will actually fail and he will walk off his funeral pyre or something…oh wait! It did work, just in the least dramatic way possible, that is the surprise! I think we could have had this scene last episode, because dragging out the inevitable feels a bit cheap.

    Now the deed is done, though, there are so many exciting questions! Does Jon 2.0 have extra knowledge from the afterworld? Does he remember Jon 1.0? Is he pissed to be back? Does he have a singular quest? Is he still a good person? Will Melisandre follow him about like she did Stannis, and will he tell her to stfu if she tries manipulating him? Will he decide it is time to end the undead-phobia, and break down the wall so his new community can unlive in the open like him? So many questions.

    • I’m okay with NOT getting this last week, honestly, and I say that from a storytelling perspective. There was so much chess piece establishment that must be done in an opener, that it wouldn’t have hit with the same level of YESSSSS! on top of the other moments. That would have felt way too hectic to me. This way we get the quiet build to what we’d hoped would happen, and it paid off. My $.02.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      But when we do get tell-don’t-show, people assume that means it didn’t actually happen. Like Stannis last year – “Do your duty”, sword swings, but we don’t see the head lopped off so some people still insist he must be alive. If Ramsay had just ordered Walda and her baby thrown to the dogs, there would be conspiracy theories galore in a second.

      I’m glad they held off on Jon’s resurrection. I feel that it would’ve been cheapened if he’s only been dead for an episode or less. Actually, I think they should’ve killed him in one of these first two episodes, then people wouldn’t have had the “But Kit Harington’s filming, so Jon clearly isn’t dead!” reassurance.

      And yeah, the chances of Jon being the same as before he died don’t seem good. It’s one of the themes of the series, after all – people don’t come through unscathed. Trauma affects you, changes you. And raised by fire-magic, this close to the ice-magic of the Wall… Ice and Fire.

  • Lisa

    I’ve long believed (not a spoiler/only a theory) that Theon’s final mission is to help Yara become the ruler of the Iron Islands. Poor shell that he is, he doesn’t have the constitution for it himself, but he could definitely aid her claim (I’m also convinced –based on nothing whatsoever– that this is essential for the end times battle between the living and the dead. ) but this is only a theory.

    And boy does Tyrion have fireproof balls for going to dragon cave central. That was terrifying.

    Poor Walda and baby Walda. That was awful.

    Not poor Roose. He got exactly the same sort of end as he gave Rob Stark. Reap what you sow, dude.

    Aww. Little Ned, Benjen, and Hodor.

    Yay Jon Snow. So looking forward to next week!!

    • I think similarly re: Theon. I also think he’s going to be crucial in getting House Greyjoy and others to side with Jon Snow/Sansa Stark. MY HOPE, at least.

  • Anthony Gitto

    Well, Holy crap.

    I feel for you Unsullied, cause these past few episodes are EXHAUSTING not knowing what’s coming (mostly.) When I read the books (I have sworn to no Spoilers on a Sacred Weirwood tree) I binge read so there’s not too many instances where I cannot just power past those cliff hangers until the end of the book…. then I’m used to filling the time between books with reading theories online. Now that I’m basically out of material I feel like Sam the Slayer confronting a white walker (no other option and scared of what’ll happen!)

    ANYWAY! There’s soo much I love about this episode!!

    – ‘Keep your shield up or I’ll ring your head like a bell!’ Apparently the Starks have more words than just ‘Winter is Coming’

    – Hodor speaking in complete sentences!! I REALLY want to know now if his breakdown was due to hitting his head or some mental trauma?

    – Meera is growing up kids… She doesn’t look quite as Awkward teenager anymore.

    – Wun Wun the painter! He’s the Jackson Pollock of his universe folks!

    – The sound of Long John of Kings Landing pissing on FrankenMountain’s armor!

    – Tyrion the BAMF getting the best surviving interaction with a dragon we have seen yet. I 100% agree with your assessment of HOW he talked to them.

    – How can the show make me NOT be happy about Roose dying? PLEASE let this start a feud between Frey and Bolton!!!!!!

    – YASSS!!!! The Ironborn Storyline FINALLY! KINGSMOOT!

    – Jon Snow Lives! Regarding your question on how much he’ll remember… Beric Dondarrion said that he remembered almost everything the first time, he only started to forget things after multiple resurrections.

    And I seriously LOLed at your ‘paint me as your french girls’ comment (work is used to my random outbursts by now) I was thinking about how the two look older and now attraction HAS to play a factor in their interactions. ‘You are literally the only human that isn’t being violated by a tree in 500 miles!’

    • I DIED AT JACKSON POLLOCK. Ahahahahaha.

    • JCDavis

      Hey Anthony. Congrats on the pin at the top of the post. Well done and well deserved. I too am most anxious to know two things…what the hell happened to Hodor. Something physically traumatic I am assuming. And the other shoe has yet to drop on the FLC Jon Snow re-birth thing. Can’t wait to know what that is. Very interesting the Jesus equations here…on the Orthodox Easter at that. WWJSD? We will find out soon me thinks.

      • Anthony Gitto

        Whoa! I haven’t had that before! Thanks for pointing it out!

        I’ve seen some speculation that he gets kicked in the head by a horse… I sure hope that it’s not that simple!

      • I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HODOR TOOOOOOO.

        Also, HELLO! It always makes me so happy when you come back. :D I love my readers. <3

        • I thought for sure it was explained in season 1 what happened to Hodor but apparently not, must just be what I remember from the book so I’ll say no more.

          • Raja

            GRRM mentioned in his Live Journal ( yes, that awesome man still uses live journal) that we’ll find out what happened to Hodor in the next book. Or perhaps in one of the Dunk and Egg stories.

    • Ah, thanks for the reminder on Beric’s memory. I was worried Jon was going to be like Pet Semetary or Khal Drogo when he came back but Beric is (mostly) normal.

      • Anthony Gitto

        Drogo’s ceremony was interrupted if you recall, and Mirri Maz Duur was a maegi not a Red Priest, so I dunno if we can compare those.

    • I don’t recall Beric saying he retained his memories after his first death.

      Meera’s actress was born in 1990, so she wasn’t really a teenager when we first met her. Isaac Hampstead-Wright’s Bran is the one who has really changed (Sophie Turner has also grown quite tall, but otherwise doesn’t seem too different from season 1).

      • Anthony Gitto

        It’s partly context…
        In Season 3 episode 4, Beric lists off details he remembers about the Hound, and the battles he’s fought in.
        Season 3 Episode 5. he even lists off the exact ways he died, how they felt, and that he didn’t see anything on the other side. The most telling is his quote “Every time I come back… I’m a bit less. Pieces of you get chipped away.”

        If you compare Meera now vs last season you can see that her face is filling out and her nose isn’t as prominent. Maybe it’s the makeup or the light of the scene…. but I think that like many young people she is growing into her looks. That’s what I meant, not height.

        • My recollection is that he was slightly off when he asked how many times Thoros brought him back, and Thoros had to correct him. And he was unsure whether he was hung or stabbed in the eye one time and Thoros had to tell him “both”.

          • Anthony Gitto

            lol he struggled with the details of one of his 6 deaths where each time he loses pieces of himself. I feel like you’re really reaching here to disagree with me instead of analyzing the context of the scene. Watch the scene again and feel free to disagree if you like, but I’m not responding anymore about it. ;)
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wboON-Z-eqI

      • Lyanna Mormont

        IHW’s grown, indeed. Poor Kristian Nairn who had to pick him up and carry him in that scene!

        • I noticed there was a distant shot of Bran being carried out of the cave, and figured it was so the actor could be replaced with something lighter for Nairn to carry.

  • debijl

    Ugh. I almost had a panic attack watching Ramsey and Walda. He couldn’t have peacefully poisoned them……Goodbye Roose with your beautiful blue eyes and smooth as butter voice. You should have brought Ramsey to heel when you had the chance.
    Carise was wonderful tonight as Melissandre. Can’t wait til next week.

    • Wasn’t that dreadful?! WALDA. Oh, she was so lovely and dear and pretty and soft and SHE DESERVED BETTER. [sobs]

      I am desperate for the next ep, ngl. DESPERATE.

      • chortles81

        The funny-sad part re: Roose — was there NO ONE he trusted among his vassals to take the regency for his newborn if both Roose and Ramsay got got instead of… you know, just Roose? Because a “no” to that is the only way I see any sense in keeping Ramsay around, considering that Roose’s exposition about other northern houses’ despising House Bolton for the Red Wedding is presumably not recent knowledge for him and he was already well aware of Ramsay’s failings back in Season 4.

  • magnusk_98

    Great ending and some other really good moments in this episode (Wun-Wun! Lyanna!).

    One thing really, really bugs me, though: Is Ser Davos ever going to ask what happened to Shireen?

    • He… knows? Everyone knows? That’s why half of Stannis’ men left in the middle of the night with the horses? It was done at sunrise in broad daylight.

      • mrspidey80

        He wasn’t there when it happened. Stannis had sent him back to Castle Black. All he knows is that she and her dad are dead.

        • Oh, right about him being sent off. But I would be shocked if tales of what happened didn’t travel everywhere by now. Also, there’s no reason storywise for him to talk about it. It’s in the past. Unless it becomes important for the Red Woman’s storyline (which, THAT I could see) I’m sure we’re done talking about precious Baby Newt and her mother. I’m not saying that I LIKE that, anyone coming along, just that I think that’s what’s happening.

          • magnusk_98

            Ser Davos was a close friend of Shireen. He was profoundly unhappy at all the people getting burned by Melisandre. I would be surprised if his reaction to learning that Melisandre burned Shireen at the stake would not be murderous rage. Even with the solid she did for him by getting back Jon Snow.

    • two_owls

      I guess he assumes, understandably, that “she got dragged to a war zone” + “she died as a result of being there” = “she died during the battle”. There were too many people watching Shireen burn alive for the news not to spread around.

      • This is what I’m thinking, too.

        • magnusk_98

          The problem with that assumption is that nobody other than Melisandre came back to Castle Black from that battlefield.

          So it’s extremely unlikely that he has heard of it yet. But when he will… oh, the rage. I hope he comes out on top of that upcoming confrontation with Melisandre.

          I’d be extremely disappointed if the writers drop the ball on that plot thread and forget about Shireens fate.

          • Oh, understand that a) this is not a hill I want to die on and b) it doesn’t change the story/my interest, regardless of him knowing or not. Davos is a man on a mission, and Jon Snow is his mission at this point.

            This world has been established to be riddled with spies, ravens are easily sent, etc.

            I wonder if he would be brave enough to fight Melisandre over it, seeing as he DOES know what she’s capable of?

          • Lyanna Mormont

            Nobody came back from that battlefield – but plenty of men deserted after the burning, before the battle. Some of them are going to talk, and talk is going to spread… It’ll take a while, but sooner or later Davos will hear about it.

            And it’s not like he didn’t have concerns about why Stannis sent him off to the Wall.

            • [clinks coffee mug with you] THIS.

              • magnusk_98

                Well, no matter how he hears of it at the end, I want it to happen and I want there to be consequences. Shireen deserves some justice.

  • mrspidey80

    That smirk on Sansas face when Brienne told her Arya wasn’t dressed like a lady….

    • Anthony Gitto

      Such a small moment, but speaks VOLUMES on how she views her sister now vs before Ned lost his head.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      YES! Oh, I want those two to meet again so damn much!

  • Andy Street

    That was a brilliant episode!

    I’m not sure why Davos has become such a Jon Snow groupie all of a sudden though. Does he just have a deep-seated need to be bossed about by a sullen charisma-sink who doesn’t listen to his advice?

    Roose Bolton, Balon Greyjoy and Ser Alliser all really paid the price for some very poor long-term decision making this week. It was never really clear what Balon wanted out of his war – something which Theon sort of half-called him on way back in S2 before he started making terrible decisions of his own. Despite being technically the last man standing, he remained an irrelevance in the big picture, someone who was living on borrowed time until the Lannisters had dealt with their more pressing enemies. Looks like there’s now going to be a power struggle between Yara and her uncle, with Theon playing some part.

    I don’t think deep down, Roose could legitimately claim to be surprised by what happened. He must have understood what his son was capable of and I would have expected him to have some plan for dealing with him. I actually jumped out of my skin when Ramsay stabbed him – I was sort-of expecting one of them to kill the other at some point this season, but I didn’t expect it to be so early.

    But Lord Butt-Hurt really takes the prize (perhaps by default, still being alive for the time being). What did he think would be the end result of letting thousands of wildlings who owe their lives to Jon Snow through the wall, THEN killing Jon Snow? They even pointed out in this episode that Castle Black has no defenses from the South.

    Also – Tyrion is now entitled to make as many jokes as he wants about being the only one in the room with any balls. The idea that these dragons are the sapient kind and able to understand what he was saying is definitely interesting…

    • Jieves

      Balon wanted revenge for being beaten by the Starks the last time he tried to rebel — which is what brought Theon to the Stark household in the first place as a hostage and saw the death of Theon’s brothers. This is all talked about at various points in the show. I think the strategy was to capture enough land that the North would have to sue for peace or at least create a buffer zone on land that would allow Balon complete freedom of his lands and the seas.

      • Andy Street

        Oh I am aware he had motives – just no actual realistic way to win in the long-term. He could take some castles whilst the Starks, Lannisters and Baratheons were busy fighting each other, but as soon as the war was over, no matter who won his goose was cooked eventually. Both of his children knew this, but Balon wasn’t a listening to advice kind of a guy…

        • chortles81

          And right here you have what I believe other fans picked up on among their reasons for being ‘bored of the Greyjoys’ pretty fast.

    • two_owls

      I agree that Davos’ sudden need to get Jon back to the world of the living could have been explained better. It is understandable anyway, though: he is, after all, smart and pragmatic, and can see that after Stannis’ death Jon is basically the only one who has both some kind of relationship with wildlings and at least some claim to the North. Besides, Davos is certainly a well travelled guy, and he could have heard about resurrection magic before. And he still doesn’t know whose brilliant idea it was to burn Shireen alive, so his scenes with Melisandre are more “hey girl, we had our differences, but I’ve grown used to your weirdness” rather than “I’m going to kill you in the most unpleasant way you can think of”.

      • Davos has always struck me as a man who respects power and those who wield it with intelligence.

        • chortles81

          Jon also previously demonstrated loyalty-to-vows when he turned down Stannis’ offer of legitimization/pardon-for-leaving-the-Night’s Watch/the lordship of Winterfell if he bent the knee to Stannis… though Jon may have declined because the lordship would have required Stannis leapfrogging Jon over Sansa, which coincidentally parallels what Roose dangled before Ramsay — the older legitimized bastard inheriting before the younger trueborn — and probably wouldn’t have played well in the north as much as Stannis thought it would.

          • I don’t know if Jon knew anything about Sansa’s fate. He does know that Bran is still alive, and would be the eldest trueborn son of Ned Stark. The North is not Dorne and does not follow equal primogeniture, so Sansa wouldn’t be expected to rule anyway.

            • Lyanna Mormont

              But with all the legitimate sons (presumed) dead, the claim would fall to the oldest legitimate daughter.

              However, in the show, Jon did know that Bran and Rickon were still alive, so accepting Winterfell would mean taking it away from them.

              • chortles81

                Which probably had something to do with why Jon Snow turned down Stannis, albeit using his vows as an excuse… and see the above qualification re: Sansa as the “accounted for” trueborn.

                P.S. You did indeed see the sigil of House Umber in the episode 3 preview — which was also seen back in season 1 at the tourney held for Ned’s appointment as Hand — and a sigil-wearing Manderly appeared at the Red Wedding.

            • chortles81

              He may have known that Bran is alive at some point after his supposed death but he has no idea where Bran’s gone much less that he’s currently alive, nor to my knowledge was it public that Rickon was headed to Last Hearth (did he even make it… or did House Umber turn their cloak?), hence Sansa’s status/role was effectively the same in Seasons 4-6: the only “accounted for” trueborn.

              • Denita Falke

                To the best of my memory, I don’t think anyone has mentioned that Osha, Rickon and Shaggy Dog were headed for House Umber since they left.

                • No, and they wouldn’t, would they? Very dangerous!

                  • Lyanna Mormont

                    Ramsay did mention the Umbers as one of the three houses he needed behind him to control the North, so… are we going to see them this season? There was a glimpse of something in the preview for next episode that made me wonder, but time will have to tell. Karstarks, Umbers and Manderlys were very pointedly name dropped, and we already have the Karstarks represented – maybe we’ll see the Manderlys as well. (No book talk! No book talk!)

    • chortles81

      I’m sure Roose had figured *something* out, he just either miscalculated about having time or that “you’ll always be my firstborn” would be enough?

  • Zack

    Liked this one much better than last week. I think it’s the lack of Dorne.

    Also Pyke and the Greyjoys. Shiiit. Kingsmoot! It’s gonna be gooooooooood, you don’t even know. #teamyarasha, always.

    I’m a crazy superfan of Penny Dreadful…and Frankenstein’s monsters in that show with their changed personalities vs. their former selves, and I couldn’t help but bring that kind of expectation over with the Jon Snow stuff. I hope it’s not just a simple “welp I was dead, now I’m not, moving on…”

    Also I kind of loved how many assbags got smashed into walls this ep. With WunWun smashing that jerkweed archer and Undead Andre the Giant smashing that stupid drunk doof’s HEAD.

    Lyanna in a flashback. AAAAAAAHHHH *squeeee*

    The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was the gratuitousness of Ramsay feeding Fat Walda and his brother to the dogs. I thought that could have been srsly dialed back. :'(

  • Lyanna Mormont

    Hail Hydra! No, wait. I mean… Hodor? Hail Hodor!

    They’re really not starting slow this season, are they? It’s just visions, death, dragons, death, funeral, death, resurrection! Very different from last season.

    Oh, Bran. Visions of Home (title call-out!) and his dad, and uncle, aunt, young Hodor. No wonder he didn’t want it to stop. But you need to build these things up gradually, Bran, get some mental/magical muscle before you try to lift the heavy weights. Aww, and Hodor. I wonder what happened to him. Brain fever? Kicked in the head by a horse? I also wonder if the “giant’s blood” thing is true, or just one of those things people say. Poor Meera, too – but at least she has an amazing view to stare out at. (But put on a hat, dammit!)

    Giant smash crow. FrankenGuard smash commoner. Blood and gore and smeared brains everywhere!

    Cersei doesn’t get to go to her only daughter’s funeral. Man, this is just not her (in-story) year, is it? Joffrey dead, Tywin dead, Tyrion escaped, Tommen stolen by Margaery, imprisoned by religious fanatics, forced to walk naked through the city, Myrcella dead… And that’s without mentioning That Scene with Jaime at Joffrey’s dead body.

    This time it’s Jaime mentoring Tommen over the dead body of his sibling, not Tywin. Is Jaime taking up his father’s mantle? So far he’s doing better as a father than Tywin did (not difficult), even if he is doing it as an uncle. But facing off with theHigh Sparrow when he’s surrounded by other sparrows would probably not end well, and it wouldn’t stop the Faith (I suspect) while losing Jaime would be a much bigger blow to the remaining Lannisters, so… Good call there, leaving.

    And then Cersei’s face while talking to Tommen. When he asked for her help to be strong, it seemed like she was thinking “But I don’t know how to be strong anymore!” She’ll relearn, though, for him. She would do anything for her children, and he’s the only one she has left.

    LOVE Tyrion and the dragons. The way he talked to them, that story about being a little boy and wanting a dragon, just a little one, like him… And then after he unchained one of them, the other one turned its neck towards him so he could get that collar, too! “Here, I’ll make it easier for you to reach!” Yeah, they’re intelligent. (Also: “It’s what I do. I drink and I know things.”)

    A girl has no name. She has also apparently lost the ability to say the word I. Is that a requirement for being a Faceless Man? I thought it was just a dialectal thing. Maybe Arya just assumes she has to talk that way. Or maybe she was just throwing his words back in his face. Defiance is strong in this one.

    The Karstarks, Manderlys and Umbers have as many men as the rest of the North put together. Well, we’ve only seen the Karstark lord. How sure are you that you have the Manderlys and the Umbers behind you, Ramsay? (Wasn’t the Umbers where Osha said she was taking Rickon, lo these many seasons ago?)

    I kid you not, after the Roose/Ramsay scene last episode, I was thinking to myself that there should be a poll asking who Ramsay would try to kill – Roose, Walda, or the baby. I guess the answer was “All of the above.” Really, Roose, how did you not see that coming? Yes, he wanted your approval, but he wasn’t going to keep trying forever, not with the threat of being disinherited hanging over his head. He’s had a taste of power, now, and he’s not going to let anyone take it away from him.

    So… odds of Ramsay heading for Castle Black to kill Jon Snow now? Or will he, very ironically, get news of Jon’s death and decide just to order the remaining Night’s Watch to hand Sansa over to him when she gets there?

    Speaking of Sansa. Oh, that silence when Brienne asked hwat happened at Winterfell. And Brienne understands what that means. And Sansa blames herself, but Brienne won’t let her. Thank the Old Gods and the New that it’s a woman who rescued Sansa. She gets it in a way no man in Westeros ever would. Well, except Theon – he knows. He knows far too well. And unlike Sansa, he knows it was his own doing, and nobody can talk him out of that. So he’s going Home. (Second title callout!)

    Well then, Balon. Guess you’re not the only one of the Five Kings left alive anymore. Goodbye! And hello, crazy brother of Balon. “When men see my sails, they pray.” Still don’t see how that makes you a god, dude. They’re hardly praying to YOU.

    (Interesting parallel here, between Roose/Ramsay with the new baby, and Balon/Yara with “I’ll make a new, more obedient heir.”)

    And now there’s a Kingsmoot coming. I sense more Greyjoy stuff in the next few episodes!

    Melisandre has lost her faith. But apparently it’s not her faith which gives her her magic, because hey, you just weren’t patient enough. What, did you think it would be instant? Like Cup-a-Soup? Except add time? Forget I said that. (/doctor who)

    He’s BAAAACK!

    • Anthony Gitto

      Thoros didn’t have faith either when he first raised Beric… maybe the Red God only performs BIG miracles to prove he REALLY DOES exist!

    • chortles81

      Re: “a girl” — probably force of habit if this Faceless Man/One was using the voice of Jaqen H’ghar, although .

      You’re also correct re: Rickon; it was determined back in The Rains of Castamere that, with Robb “at war” (oh you sweet summer child) and Bran going beyond the Wall, House Umber’s castle/seat was the safest bet for the next-in-line…

      … assuming that Rickon made it there and House Umber didn’t turn their cloak. D:

      As for Roose, I believe he either miscalculated (probably thought the reassurance would be enough as it may have seemed to him back in Season 5) or was fatally too slow on the draw… and Ramsay may march for Castle Black but I certainly can’t see any Houses that weren’t already sworn for House Bolton being any more amenable with Roose gone, while he may well drive others away. (Although his confidence in the Umbers, Manderlys and Karstarks… hmm.)

  • JCDavis

    Oi. What a show, what a show. It had me on the edge from hello to HELLO. So much to think about and I will be watching it again and probably again. But your review always makes me laugh AND smile too and so much to agree upon.

    Random thoughts and out of order, but “Hodor” = “I am Groot”? No? I really now want to know what the hell happened? He obviously COULD talk and knew a different name. Love the flashback scene, Lady Lyanna. Color me blue and call me a Smurf. Very exciting.

    I know that I will take grief for it because when I realized that Walda and Baby were doomed for the Alpo factory, the first thing that occurred to me was “Maybe, the dingo ate your baby”. Too soon? Very sad moment there. But I think Roose’s demise was perfect. He died exactly how he killed Robb. Loved it.

    Tyrion > Dragon Whisperer. He was calm/assertive and got those dragons to heel very well, even thought he wasn’t as cool as Cezar Milan, he is the CM of that time for sure. Love him and Tyrion can do no wrong for my money.

    Highs: Well the obvious, but I can’t help but think there is still something to come there, some twist. Also Sansa/Theon, brilliant acting by Alfie once again. Breinne is the Amazon woman that I love the mostest. Bran finally wargs something that is very cool to see. I could listen to MvS read the phone book and my heart would start palpating.

    Lows: Well…none really. Can’t wait for next week. Damn this ten is going to go by SO freakishly fast. That is the low I guess.

    • LOL, I think you’re spot on with what your low is, honestly. Such a great start to the season.

      Also, I totally heard the dingo joke in the appropriate Ozzie accent. :D

  • Moriah Gemel

    I had to hide my eyes when Ramsey sent the dogs after Walda and the baby. I cannot handle children dying (I am probably watching the wrong show) and especially when she cowered to cover her child like…my heart, my heart broke and I cried. I wasn’t even really invested in Walda, I thought she was cute and sweet and now she’s deaaaaaaaaad. *sob*

    But there was a lot of death right here in this episode, right? Like a lot of significant death. The tides, they are a-changin’ (which Balon’s body is fully aware of, being in the ocean and all).

    I am not noticing Melisandre’s hair changing color? It’s too dark to notice for me. Damn Castle Black, being all unlit and dark and foreboding. Would it kill someone to invent electricity up in here? Even if they did, I bet they’d keep the mood lighting. Drama queens.

    Also I am so sick to death of the High Sparrow and his smug little smile? I want the Faith Militant wiped off the face of the earth, already. I have enough issues with religion and zealots in my world, I don’t need them in my entertainment. They just piss me off, so much. I want FrankMountain to take them down while Cersei smiles in the background and has a nice goblet of wine. Can that be a thing, please?

    Anyway, great episode, great recap.

  • Watched with my husband last night and when the wildlings showed up at Castle Black I said “Oh, it’s the wildlings!,” and then almost said out loud “And there’s Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër!” Took me a few seconds to remember his name is Tormund. I also have completely forgotten Lord Butt Hurt’s given name (Alliser Thorne?) as that’s always how I think of him now.

    Loved the Tyrion scene with the dragons but are they out now? Are they just leaving the front door open? Confused but will hopefully be following up on them soon. Wonder if they’ll be able to fly right to Daenerys, probably?

    • MY GOAL IN LIFE is to make “Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër” HIS PREFERRED NAME. Basically you’re my favorite. SORRY EVERYONE, this is the way to my heart. ;)

      Yes, yes, Alliser! I do try to put their actual names in the start of the recaps for any new folks scrolling by, but eh. LORD BUTT HURT. I do miss Captain Yeah Boss…

      I guess there’s an entrance/exit for them? That’s how Dracarys got out a while back? Who knows, but I wondered the same thing, too. I mean, I guess they can blast their way out with dragon fire if it comes down to it, but structural damage, etc etc. Hee.

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  • Estelindis

    The eye-stones are a show-only thing, so you know as much as anyone. :)

    • WELL WELL WELL! Thank you for that, because I’ve had book readers in the past get snippy that I didn’t know their significance, remember they existed, etc. Whew!

      • Lyanna Mormont

        That’s not a book reader thing, it’s a “how do you not remember every detail of every episode of this show?” thing. ;)

  • Susi Harrington Potter

    I’m singing that CSNY song over and over now, I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

  • PorkPie

    Peeking out of the woodwork to squee over the Tom Cullen reference! Love your recaps and Hodor-ing over here from the Hodor land of love, Now with more Hodor. :)

    • PORKPIE LET ME LOVE YOU. Let me be Miss Abigail and welcome you to dinner. ;)

      But really, I just want to say: HODOR.

      (And seriously, pop in any time, any conversation. Everyone over here is so generous and lovely!)

      • Moon Hippo

        new reader, first time commenter. Just wanted to express my shock at how nice your readers all seem! Adding this to my very short list of comment threads that are worth reading! Great recap too, obviously.

        • Anthony Gitto

          Laura Rules with an Iron fist! Fear her Wrath! ;)

          • Lyanna Mormont

            And all the rest of us enjoy this place for the same reason, so we do our best to have her back. :)

          • HAHAHAHA, GRRRRR!

        • I have the BEST readers, hands down. :D We’ve cultivated a great community over here, and nothing makes me happier than someone new coming on board!

          WELCOME! Cheese and wine on the counter, tea cakes are on the way. ;)

      • PorkPie

        HODOR. <3

  • moata

    Oh my word, that gif you linked to is just too perfect. This is how the Stark lads bond with each other it seems.
    While I enjoyed the “smashed violently up against a wall” deaths (two withing the first 5 minutes, I think), it did set me up for the expectation of a third. They say incidences of brain smashings come in threes…or at least that is the sort of saying that should exist in this world, along with “sometimes siblings do it” and “never let any members of Coldplay play music at your wedding”, but I digress.
    So when Walda (poor Walda) handed Ramsay that little baby – well my brain went to a dark place, yo. After imagining that, the actual scene itself was almost a relief. Awful but with this show it could have easily been a hell of a lot worse.
    But as usual so many questions –
    – How much like Jon is Jon going to be? Will he be pissed about the haircut?
    – Hodor-Wylis? How did this come to pass. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU DUDE?
    – Is Balon’s brother batshit or has he just been at sea too long? Is this good or bad for Yara and/or Theon?
    – How is it possible that Pod doesn’t know how to make a fire at this point? It’s not like they’ve been staying at Ramada Inns all the way from Kings Landing to wherever they are now. I love you, P-dog, but get a clue.
    And finally, Tyrion.
    As a librarian who has drunk a lot of wine in her time I feel like this should be on my business card…

    • One, that IMMEDIATELY should be your business card. IMMEDIATELY. Ahahahaha. Perfect.

      And wow, so true about 3s. CLEARLY WE WILL OPEN 6.3 (!! Which is 3 threes!) WITH ANOTHER. ;)

      I am very much enjoying this season so far.

      • Sandrine

        I can’t help thinking that they have only reanimated Jon Snow so that we have to FREAKING WATCH HIM DIE ALL OVER AGAIN.

  • caycos

    Does anyone else wonder (I did a quite find so I don’t think anyone’s already mentioned) if the reason Benjen took the black was related to Hodor’s hodorness? That would be sad..

    Also I loved how Tyrion was with the dragons. In some ways, I think he did it because, even if they killed him, what a way for a dragon-lover to die..

    • !!!! OMG, that would be sad. And wonderful storytelling to bring it all back around. AHHHHH!

      And agreed 10000% with the dragons and Tyrion.