Game of Thrones 6.3 – Oathbreaker

Game of Thrones

You’ve got to pick a pocket or two, boys…

[Previously!] The show started with Ned Stark beheading a guy for breaking his Oath, young Jon at his side. And it ends with… Well, keep reading.

REMINDER: I am NOT a book reader. I am Unsullied and took an oath (hurr) to stay that way, AND MY WATCH HAS NOT ENDED. Every damn week I get someone who wants to laugh and explain that, ha! We’re all on the same boat now, so it’s not like I can be spoiled, right? So anyway, in Book 3…

WRONG. First off, why do you want to be that person? Why? Don’t be that person. Yes, you can still ruin things for me because not everything in the books made it to screen yet. Just stop. Stop. If you think you have some kind of tic where you just can’t help yourself when it comes to talking about the book, you literally have the rest of the internet to talk about them. This is not the place for you.

Just… it’s tiresome. Cut it out. Stop trying to prove this horse-pucky to me, because all you prove is that I won’t like you very much. I’m a nice person and I don’t deserve this. Ahahaha. Ahem. HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS AMAZING SEASON SO FAR!

I continue to be enchanted by Pyke on the map, the way the catwalks move when it locks into place. <3 Also, Dothraki Crone Island!! Oho. One day I won’t sway and hum along with the opening credits, but today is not that day. 

Ser Davos, watery eyes wide with disbelief and shock stares in awe as Jon Snow rises, clearly alive. HUZZAH! Ghost watches in shock, too, and I feel like his eyes glowing red means something. Just that magic is afoot? Hmm. Melisandre apparently can’t believe she had the mojo to pull it off, given her own “WHOA, THAT WORKED??” face as she stumbles in. Or maybe it’s just from that hard set of muscles on Jon Snow’s bod.

What do you remember, they ask him?

“The… Alamo.”

A cheer goes up. NO. Sorry, got mixed up with another child-like adult on a Big Adventure. Jon remembers Olly in particular stabbing him in the heart, and not just metaphorically. (He totally meant in the metaphorical way, let’s be real)

Melisandre Davos Jon Snow

Jon: I shouldn’t be here. I should be There.
FCM: So… There. Was there a tunnel? Light? Family members saying they didn’t care about the whole magical immortality and the whole sucking life out of others in order to further your own agenda?
Jon: Nothing. There was nothing at all. Straight up void.
Me: Knew it. …wait, so he still LITERALLY knows nothing? Or does he know The Nothing? FALCOR, TO THE SKIES!

Eh, she doesn’t care about his whole “there’s no afterlife” stuff because she believes in the Lord of Light and in Jon being the Chosen One, so middle fingers up to the whole “nothing” thing. Davos cuts to the chase. You were dead. Now you’re not. The fuck? But eh, you are, so let’s move forward.

Davos: New plan: You clean up as much of the shit as you can.
Jon: Yeah, remember the whole “I think I’m doing the right thing” thing, and I got Caesar’d for the effort? And like, by a kid I saved?
Davos: Yeah. Let’s do it again. But maybe skip the stabbing bits this time.

They roll the stone away in the Garden, and Jesus Jon steps forward, showing his wounds to the gathered faithful.

Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër: Guys, he ain’t Jesus. Jesus had a sleek swimmer’s body, all muscled up and toned. This goat fucker has a micropeen. Like a god wouldn’t give themselves a bigger tool down there, pfft. Ahhh, I’m fucking with ya, ya beauty! Give us a kiss. [hugs]
Jon: Uh, I was promised a kiss? What’s this hug stuff?
Davos: I don’t mean to make it weird, but he could be Jesus. [significant stare at Jon’s bait and tackle]

Edd, however, gets the biggest hug from Jon, and awwww. That’s nice, boys. Friendship! I like that Edd checks Jon’s eyes for any sign of Wight/White/Zombie Ice Predefremen*.

(Newbies: * is Predator + Fremen. That creature in Season 1 Episode 1 stalking the woods looked like a combo of these two. The babies are the spice! The spice are the babies! Then the show told us about White Walkers/Wight Walkers/Weight Watchers back at Craster’s Keep. Now you’re all caught up!)

Oh, hey! Red Leader Porkins Samwell Gamgee Tarley spotted on a ship with Gilly, Gilly who has an iron stomach, and Sam who very decidedly does not [hooooooark]. Sam lets her know he’s dropping her off with the not-quite-official in-laws, but she’s not having that. She and Baby Sam are going with him, thanks ever so. Unfortunately, in his quest to be a Maester, she can’t go to the Citadel; women aren’t allowed. She’s all, “But you’re my baby daddy,” and he immediately throws up. Ahaha.

We have some more Warging with Bran and Harold, aka the 3ERaven. This time, it’s more Ned Stark history with the best swordsman he ever saw and a companion, who happens to be Meera’s father, oho! Howland Reed (I think)? Ned is there to collect his sister Lyanna, trapped in the Tower of Joy all Rapunzel-like by the Mad King? Mad King’s son? Help me out, folks. Unfortunately, these two guards are badass. A hell of a sword fight ensues. The swordsmanship in this scene is awesome, just magnificent. Everyone fighting at the same time, because they have learned from terrible ninja movies that you don’t stand and wait you turn. YOU FIGHT.

Ned Stark Bran Stark

This is some pretty stellar casting, holy smokes.

However, when it’s just one-on-one with Ned and the other guy, it’s a bit lackluster (see: ninja comment above), and Bran notices this, too. But… he was told that his father beat the guy? Nah, one of Ned’s half-dead backup dudes  [edit: this is Reed? not clear] stabbed Sword Knight in the spine, allowing Ned to finish him. Weak.

Cool bit, Ned runs to the tower, Bran wants to follow, he calls out, “Father!” and… Ned stops and turns around. From Ned’s POV, he sees nothing, but that is amazing??? Because that tells me that Bran is actually time traveling not just “seeing.” Oh hell, yes, I am here for this time warp. 3ER/Harold immediately puts the kibosh on this interference, pulling them back into the tree roots.

“The past is already written. The ink is dry.” IS IT THOUGH??

Bran has some good points in rebuttal: maybe he wants to Warg forever. Maybe he wants to be able to walk, move, talk to his family. Maybe he doesn’t want to be trapped in the roots of a tree for all time like somebody.

Harold/3ER: Yeah, like I want to be grafted into this tree? But the universe was all, “Wait for this kid” so maaaaaybe show some respect?
Bran: [epic eye roll as only a teenager can do]
Harold/3ER: Look, this is your Dagoba, okay? Except I’m not going to let you float your ship out of the swamp prematurely, endangering your friends with carbonite prisons.
Bran: I don’t even know what that means.
Harold/3ER: Kids these days…

Finally we make it to Crone Island! Khaleesi is led to her final resting place, a giant longhouse where former Khaleesis bar the men from going any further and play Mean Girl games until they die from it. Um, I was hoping this would be more Golden Girls with shenanigans and funny stories and not beat downs and Heather-esque popularity contests?

Dany’s stripped of everything (including her necklace) and instructed to dress in a sack of brown sadness. The women there want her to know they get it, it sucks. Young widow, still kinda hot, but she went out into the world instead of immediately showing up covered in ashes and sack-cloth, ready to stop being a contributing part of society, so. Maybe she’ll get to stay. Maybe they’ll toss her out. Maybe they’ll feed her to the horses or whatever. Who’s to say?

Daenerys Targaryen Game Thrones

“So, whew! Made it. Super dirty and thirsty. If someone could hook a gal up with a scented bath, some wine and a mani-pedi, that would be great. Looking forward to joining other ladies of leisure in our Crone Island paradise!” ~what this sort of place SHOULD BE

There better be a Trogdor burninating that thatched-roof cottage in the near future, that’s all I’m saying.

One thing I’m super excited about is the moment with Varys slipping back into Uncle Fester, bringing some connected lady from the town, Vala, into private talks in order to get the whispers on the street. I missed this slippery weasel. (My guess is he isn’t really interested too much in her, but in her son. Oho.)

As he gets the skinny, Grey Worm, Missandei and Tyrion have an uncomfortable cocktail party, in that only Tyrion is interested in cocktails. Or partying. Tyrion’s wit is wasted on this group and it’s actually funny watching him as they say, “We don’t drink.”

Tyrion Game of Thrones

Grey Worm: We don’t drink.

Tyrion Game of thrones

 

Tyrion Game of Thrones

…what.

Fortunately Varys returns with knowledge of who’s funding the rebellion. Masters of Yunkai, Volantis and Astapor are behind it, and they can engage in a game of whack-a-mole or do something more drastic and underhanded.

Guess what Varys goes for?

Cut to Creepy King’s Landing Maester Qyburn tending to some small children’s ouchies, and these are Varys’ little birds in training. NOPE, THAT ISN’T CREEPY. (God, I love it. So disturbing and perfect.) FrankenGregor clomps downstairs and terrifies the children, who flutter off in search of fruitful crumbs out on the street. Cersei indicates that she needs migrating flocks in all the major cities reporting on who else is laughing at the shit-covered shame queen. (New band name, I call it.) Qyburn is happy to help, it seems.

Maester Cat Piss bitches and moans to Lady Olenna about abominations, incestuous former queens and such and such, just as FrankenGregor clomps in behind his queen and her brother lover.

Jaime Cersei Lannister Mountain

Walk up in the club like…

Uh, Cat Piss? You might want to shut it. Actually, no, keep it up. It’ll be funny to see Gregor punch your last two teeth out, I think. Cat Piss LITERALLY farts when he realizes Gregor and Cersei are there in the room, and I just cannot with this show, oh my GOD.

Lady Olenna throws some nice “funny how your family tree is more of a branch that is grafted back on itself” shade, as Jamie asserts his position on the small council. Then there’s the whole thing about Myrcella, a royal, being murdered and not a damn thing is being done about it. Kevan Lannister? Thoughts?

Like a flock of chickens, they scurry out without answering a question. Cersei? Should have planted FrankenMountain at the exit.

King Tommen shows that his stones dropped by marching in and demanding answers of Cult Pope. Cult Pope, however, plays the kindly grandfather whose hands are tied.

Cult Pope: Ouchie, these old man knees, ha, I’m so harmless. Son, I can’t just let Cersei do things, because, aw shucks, the gods just don’t want that. Have a hard candy? Now, let’s bring out all the good in each other, hmm?
Tommen: [smiles] That’s nice! You seem nice! This is all very nice. I love Turkish Delight.
Cult Pope: Isn’t it lovely? Of course, by bringing out the good I mean to do that by shaming, beating, and possibly, ha, okay, definitely killing others.
Tommen: What?
Cult Pope: What? Um. Hard candy? That’s a good lad. [hair ruffles]

Arya, I mean, A Girl stands in a chamber within the House of Black And White randomly getting her ass handed to her as A Girl (the shitty one) beats the hell out of her. What warrants a stick across the cheek? Things like when Arya mentions having four brothers. Because ha, apparently she’s not allowed to claim Jon as a full brother. [cries and also notes that SPOILER ALERT, I know I know, because that could be something else entirely jotting down R + L = J in my journal because you book people spoiled me on that a season ago and I’m still mad about it]

The training montage is brutal, but A Girl has skills. Damn.

Jaqen gives her water to drink from the well of death. But, if she is No One, it won’t kill her. So. She drinks. Aaaaaaand gets her sight back. There it is, then. Arya is No One. Nice.

Arya Stark Game Thrones

I hope you can see your way to smacking the other A Girl across the chops for her clear delight in torturing you…

Umber is there to see a man about some murder and mayhem, and he’s got Ramsay’s number about the whole “My poor beloved father was poisoned” horseshit. Ramsay’s looking a little unhinged, to be honest, and that’s saying something. He clearly is letting this whole “Warden of the North” thing get to him, and he is what King Weaselteat could have morphed into, isn’t he? But what the hell, Umber, what are you even doing here, bro? Well, he’s heard about the Wildlings coming through Castle Black, and it’s courtesy of Jon Snow. Back scratching time, yes?

Umber: No I fucking won’t scratch your back. Won’t kneel, kiss, pledge, any of that shit. But what I will do is give you a gift.
Me: THAT BETTER NOT BE SANSA STARK.
Umber: Pfft. Please. It’s Tonks [revealio!] and a young boy [dehoode!d]
Me: [spits my wine back into my glass] RICKON NOOOOOOOOO
Ramsay: Hmm. Prove that’s a Stark.
Umber: Would this abnormally large wolf head on an ice hook convince you?
Me: I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU ASSHOLES THAT THOSE ARE FUCKING ENDANGERED SPECIES AND I AM SAD ABOUT THIS, oh Shaggydog, noooooo.

Must we be so cavalier with the endangered species?? Oh, poor puppy. Why the hell did this show give me a puppy, a litter of them, make me think they’re special and unique, forget about them, and then bring me their dead heads?? PUPPIES ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, that’s what.

Sigh. Back up at the wall, it’s time for a reckoning. Well, a hanging. Four of them, all the Brutuseseses from the Senate floor.

Jon: Any last words?
Lord Butt Hurt: I still think you’re a dick. And I’d kill you all over again, given the opportunity.
Jon: Good talk.
Lord Butt Hurt: Hey, seriously though. Jon?
Jon: Yes?
Lord Butt Hurt: [Farts]
Jon: Can we get FCM to bring him back so I can hang him twice?
Olly: [lip wobbling a bit] I fucked up. I fucked up.
Jon: Yeah. Yeah, you did. This is for my lady love. [cuts the release, but he’s not happy about it]

That was some cold shit, man. Blood for blood. Olly’s dead; his blue face is pretty hard to look at. Jon thinks so, too. Lord Butt Hurt, though… He had it coming. THEN. THEN Jon hands Castle Black to Edd and says:

Jon Snow Castle Black

WHAT. What? W-hat is happening? Is he going to Kwai Chang Caine across the desert righting wrongs? I mean, I’m all for some Kung-Fu-type soul searching, but… Winter is Coming!? JON SNOW, DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I guess this is because he died, and that’s when your watch ends officially, so now he can go Handle Some Business. Which I’m all for. But still. AHHH! I am excite, you guys.

Oh my god, I just thought of something. (I’m slow, I know.) What if Arya, A Girl, learns of who in her family is now dead via the Hall of Faces? It’s not really clear how it works down there—do they have to die IN the House of Black and White for their faces to be there? Or do they just need to be known? Hmm. But she sees Jon, dead, and… AHHHH!

I am really going to need some Starks to see each other alive and SON OF A ALLISER (aka bitch) SANSA IS ON HER WAY TO SEE JON, WHO. JUST. LEFT.

[table flips]

I’m loving this season, y’all. LOVING IT. Click here for the next episode!

[Note: please please PLEASE do not talk about spoilers in the comments. Theories are fine, say that’s what you’re doing, though. PLEASE be cool about this.]

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  • Two quick comments as I read:

    Lyanna is there at ToJ at the command of the Mad King’s son & Heir, Rhaegar.

    I thought Ghost gave a small side-eye to JonJesus after he came back. Like he wasn’t sure about something. Plus he wasn’t with him the rest of the episode. Could this mean something or just budget$?

    • Rhaegar is the SON, gotcha. Thanks!

      Yeah, I would love to know what’s what with Ghost, too! Great point about Ghost not leaving with Jon. I completely missed that part!

      • I worry any time Jon is without Ghost. Ever since Robb and the Twins.

        Re: Arya and knowing about Jon. Since “only death can pay for life”as SexyJesus has told us, what if HoB&W *SENDS* it’s newest assasin-monkey to kill the undead former LC of the Night’s Watch?!? I’d die.

        • DON’T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RICKY BOBBY

      • chortles81

        He’s also the namesake of one of the dragons that Tyrion uncollared!

        For context the Tower of Joy scene takes place after the Mad King was killed by Jaime and the Mountain killed Elia Martell and her children by Rhaegar.

        I quite appreciate the callback to season 3 in Jaime pointing out that the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard is traditionally a small council position — Barristan mentioned in season 3 that Robert Baratheon did not follow this tradition, therefore Jorah knew that Barristan didn’t know of the royal pardon — and Pycelle going straight to the Mad King in rebuttal.

  • magnusk_98

    Yeah, the whole Lyanna/Rhaegar thing was mentioned in past seasons, so it isn’t a book spoiler or anything. L+R=J is something which I remember you figuring at least half out by yourself last season, or am I wrong here?

    I’m not sure what the point is of giving Rickon to Ramsay. Rickon isn’t first in line for the succession, Sansa still is. I hope it’s not for more torture porn, but rather so that Osha can stabberize Ramsay in the near future. And I’m also rather miffed about how the writers unceremoniously killed off Shaggydog. :-/

    I sense a lot of bloodshed coming up in Kings Landing. A night of long knives and a rampaging zombie Gregor. ^^

    Mereen and Dany are still in holding pattern mode. I hope the plot there finally gets back to being interesting by half of the season. Dany finally needs to get her (and her dragons) ass to Westeros, instead of fiddling around on the other side of the map.

    My prediction is that Arya will get some assassination missions for the next episodes and at the end of the season will betray the Faceless Men, because she still isn’t No One in her heart and has some stabbinating to do at home.

    As for Jon, it’s really hard to say what they are going to do. On the one hand, ice zombies. On the other, there’s a whole mess in the north to clean up, i.e. Ramsay Bolton and other treasonous bannermen.

    • Michael

      Possible spoiler stuff to follow(which apparently Laura has already been spoiled on…):

      Lyanna/Rhaegar is still very much a book spoiler. The show has revealed maybe 1%(random-made-up-stats) of the information on them that is in the books. Even if you think something has been hinted at in the show, there’s a high likelihood you only noticed because of everything else about them you’ve read in the book. R+L=J is the stupidest “spoiler-free” coding ever(not your fault, I know it’s been in use for a while). Anyone with half a brain can fill in the rest, especially if it’s being used in a paragraph talking about a couple of the pieces of the equation.

      So bottom line…BE CAREFUL WITH BOOK SPOILERS, please.

      • [reads through fingers to get the gist]

        THANK YOU, MICHAEL!!! <3

    • No, not really, I theorized and book readers jumped on it. So let’s still use caution, pls? THANK YOU!

      • magnusk_98

        Don’t worry, I only mentioned it because you did in your post. I’m not here to spoil anything for you. I’m rather enjoying being surprised alongside you. :D

      • mrspidey80

        Yeah. They way I remember it, you came up with that theory on your own and we merely congratulated you on doing so.
        But now you mentioned ToJ and I was like “Wtf?? How does she know about that name?”
        I guess i missed the later stages of that discussion. Sorry you got spoiled there.

    • Sansa is not first in line of succession, Rickon is because all of Westeros (not including Dorne) is Male-preference primogeniture, and because Bran is Broken. Sons always come before daughters. Sansa worked for the Boltons because there were no male heirs left (as far as everyone not Reek or Ramsay knew). I’m not saying this is right, just how it is.

      • magnusk_98

        No, you’re right, I forgot about the line of succession. Well, then. I hope Ramsay doesn’t need a second Reek.

        Oh, damn. I’m pretty sure he does.

        • Gah! I literally CANNOT contemplate a Reek 2.0 with Rickon. Nope. No way.

        • Lyanna Mormont

          This is my fear as well. I mean, Roose would just kill Rickon, but Ramsay…

      • chortles81

        Roose also knew but when Locke never returned Roose choose to write Bran and Rickon off.

        • True. So now the question is what does Ramsay do with Rickon. Obviously, we know the original Sansa plan & how that worked to keep the North in line, but how does he use Rickon to hold the North? Simple hostage situation?

          • Lyanna Mormont

            He doesn’t have to use Rickon to hold the North, he just has to make sure nobody else will be able to use Rickon to take the North away from him…

          • chortles81

            Only if he believes that it won’t turn House Manderley against him (with Karstark having been onboard and Lord Umber turning his cloak)… otherwise I imagine a lure for Sansa — depending on how much he cares about this — or if he really believes that House Manderly is with him then possibly just killing Rickon out of spite or so that Sansa is back up front.

            I am not aware of Ramsay having had any expressed opinions on Bran or Rickon’s survival since Locke went MIA/was killed so Occam’s Razor would suggest that he believes Bran dead and thus for now Bran can safely be discounted as a factor in the decision-making of everyone south of the Wall.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Strictly speaking, I think Bran would still be the heir over Rickon even Broken as he is. (Rickon or Rickon’s son would inherit after Bran, though, if Bran is unable to have children.) But with Bran not around, Rickon would make a good figurehead for any loyal Northern lords to gather around. And I very much doubt Bran’s future lies in political leadership; if he ever returns south of the Wall, he’d probably happily renounce his rights in favor of any of his siblings.

        • Anthony Gitto

          I agree with your assessment.

  • Rillion

    While Jon left the Nights Watch, I don’t think he then just walked out of Castle Black. I’m pretty sure when he leaves CB Ghost will be going with him. Probably Davis and FCM too. Maybe she will finally get to see Jon fighting in the snow at Winterfell like she claims to have seen in her visions.

    • magnusk_98

      Yep. Especially, where would he go at this point? Probably live with the Wildlings until he has figured out things, but they sure don’t seem live far from Castle Black.

      The scenario hence would probably play out like “Oh, no! Jon has left! Where did he go to?” “Well, over yonder, ten miles away”.

  • When I saw Rickon, I was like – goddamn it, can’t the Starks catch a fucking break! One Stark kid just escaped Ramsay’s clutches and now another is in that place. It’s like House Stark is cursed!

    (P.S. I am very worried about what that Karstark will do to Rickon, what with Umber’s ominous comment about the former liking them young)

    Also, in the promos for next week, Sansa arrives at Castle Black? Like I said, its like they are cursed. Will House Stark ever reunite?

    (My theory – Bran will be the one to reunite them?)

  • debijl

    How awesome is Davos. Everyone needs a Davos in their lives. I hope he will travel with Jon now, or Sansa.
    A living male heir to Ned Stark would inherit Winterfell before Sansa, so Lord knows what Ramsey will do to Rickon. Hopefully leave his privates intact as we are going to need a male Stark to pass on the family name by the end of this story.

    • chortles81

      If a Stark-friendly monarch survives they could legitimize Jon like Stannis had offered.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      You’re assuming that by the end of the story, family names will still have some kind of relevance?

      ;)

      Also, Sansa’s children could easily take the name Stark.

  • Julie Martin

    I love your recaps so much. It is known. Also, I am now terrified that Bran will alter the past with tragic consequences. Was not expecting that wrinkle. Daddy turns around to hear voice, slips, falls to his death, POOF none of the Stark children are ever born. Shut it, Bran. And I need to see what is in that tower immediately, if not sooner.

    When Dany’s baby boy finally arrives, will he kill everyone or just convince them all to drop everything and join forces with Khaleesi, the Stallion who Mounts the World? I’m guessing some of column A, some of column B. They will need new ships, though. And some jackets because Winter.

    I am always more sad at the death of direwolves than humans, because apparently the TV has turned me into a terrible person. Rickon is in danger, that stinks…OH GODS SHAGGYDOG, NOOO!!!

    And I 100% agree about how fascinating Jon’s path is. I have about 10 conflicting theories at this point. Will just grab some popcorn and pray Ghost survives the series!

    • I JUST NEED GHOST TO MAKE IT OUT WHOLE. I NEED IT.

  • Andy Street

    Edd can’t just take over as Lord Commander – there needs to be another election, right? Are there even enough men left in the NW at this point to even need a Lord Commander?

    I am also not sure if Jon just up and left, or where he’s planning to go if he did. Did he go into the tunnel heading north through the wall?

    And poor Shaggydog! I was quite liking this straight talking Umber guy until that reveal. I just re-watched the episode the other day from S1 where the previous Lord Umber (who presumably died offscreen at some point) gives sass to Robb and gets his fingers bitten off by Grey Wind. They are a pretty sass-talking family all round. Man, Robb had a much harder time controlling his vassals than Ramsay seems to.

    This was a slower-burning episode that I think I’ll enjoy more when I get a chance to binge-watch the series – I need some payoff, dammit, especially worth regards to what’s in that tower! But apparently Max Von Sydow says we have to wait until next week, same warg-time, same warg-channel…

    • Lisa

      Election? I think it would be a job absolutely no one wants. From the scene it looks like there’s about a dozen crows left to face the zombie army of ten thousands. Personally , I’d vote – run!!

    • magnusk_98

      Good question about the Night’s Watch. I presume they will keep to their oaths, though.

    • chortles81

      I had thought that the previous Lord Umber had still been at war in the riverlands so his son claiming his death threw me for a loop.

    • Anthony Gitto

      Correct a new Election would occur if they Release Jon from the Watch. That new Commander would be the 999th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch (Joer Mormont was 997, Jon Snow 998)

    • Lyanna Mormont

      But if Jesus-Jon points to Edd and says “Elect him!” who’s going to argue the point? Who’s going to run against him?

    • I liked Umber until then, too. :(

      You know, I feel like Jon went through the main gate, but if he DID go North… BRAN!!

  • Original-S

    Ahhhh! I love reading these recaps. Once again, I am without the ability to view the show, so I rely on these recaps to keep me up to date. This, of course, spoils things for me, but unlike Miss Stoney, I do not care! I just need to know what happens! *rolls around and revels in all the plot spoilery goodness*

    Seriously though, now that we know Jon is back in the world of the living, I want to see more about what happens to Dany. Drogon has been free for a while and now her other two babies are released, thanks to Tyrion. When will they come rain firey doom down on these folks who dare capture their Mommy?

    Switching back over to the Boltons (And I just now had a vision of Michael Bolton appearing in this show as the far less talked about branch of House Bolton’s family tree. The bard branch. They don’t so much flay you as serenade you to sleep and then steal all your women and valuables.) It seems that, no, House Stark cannot catch a break. And the puppies! First Lady, then Grey Wind, now Shaggy Dog! The only break that happens here is in my heart. :'(

    • I hate that you don’t get to watch the show, so I’m happy to provide that service for you! <3

      Drogron (I assume) is healing–how long does that take?–so maybe he needs his siblings with him to get back up to speed? Then the three can swoop in and save their Mom.

      SOMEONE BUILD A FENCE AROUND GHOST AND PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS.

      • Original-S

        I just discovered HBO NOW. A whole new world has opened to me for $14.99 a month and I just marathoned half of last season and all of this one. *chin-fists as she stares at blank screen, waiting for newest episode to air* O_O

  • crowTrobot

    Arya was at the Red Wedding. She saw Robb’s dire wolves’ head sewn on his body. We also got a peek at Walder Frey in one of the trailers. Hmm. Arya/Faceless Man pay back? Maybe she even knows about Bran’s Rat Cook story and serves Frey one of his sons for dinner. One can hope.

  • Lisa

    R+L=J is just theory. It’s never been revealed or even speculated in the books.

    It’s just a really, really plausible theory.

    Do the Dothraki know nothing of Drogon showing up to air lift Mommy out of the fighting pits? They must not. Otherwise they wouldn’t be quite so determined to hold dragon mommy against her will (sexism asses).

    A girl needs to beat the crap out of that other girl. But I’m glad we finally had the training montage so Arya can now ff ninja training.

    And Shaggy Dog. – noooooo!

    This only leaves Ghost, Summer and Arya’s Nymeria off wandering who knows where.

    • moata

      I was totally humming that montage song from South Park during all that rapidly-cut stick-based violence.

  • Carrie Pack

    Every time I read your recaps it makes me wish we could watch GoT together every week.

    PS: Aren’t Ghost’s eyes always red? Have been before? Am I hallucinating?

    • THEY COULD BE. I just don’t see him often enough to have it settled in my head.

      And ha, you’d hate watching with me as much as I pause and scream and point and stammer at my screen… ;)

      • Carrie Pack

        Who says I don’t do those things too? I mean, didn’t everyone pause on Jon Snow’s ass? No… just me?

  • Anthony Gitto

    OK, First and foremost your external references are PERFECT as always. I saw the Standard Star Wars, an Oliver reference, Neverending Story reference, and Lion Witch and the Wardrobe reference that made me chuckle… and I’m sure that I missed more. Keep it up!

    I liked seeing Jon being a bit more relaxed post resurrection. I guess that I would be as well if I knew that I could be brought back if I screwed up. We know from the Beric Dondarrion escapades that being resurrected 6 times is not out of the question if you don’t care so much for your old memories.

    Good old Dolorous Edd smiling while checking to see if he has to burn his friend. I really liked the crowd’s dumbfounded looks! I wonder if there are any resurrection stories North of the Wall?

    Gilly’s barb about ‘that was before I learned to read’ was just perfect! I am enjoying her progression into a more confident woman and cannot wait to see how much she’ll blossom at Horn Hall (i hope at least.)

    I have soo much to say about the Flashback Scene!

    The Tower of Joy was wonderful and almost everything that I wanted it to be (though not complete…. grr) I did expect Howland to be a better fighter than that, but he did survive and keep his leige lord alive by ANY MEANS NECESSARY so I’ll let that go. We knew that Howland survived the rebellion and saved Ned’s life from ‘Dark Wings Dark Words’ Season 3 Episode 2’s conversation between Jojen and Bran, but these are some details no-one but Howland and Ned knew until now.

    We also know from ‘Two Swords’ Season 4 Episode 1, that the knights that were killed were 2 of three knights; Ser Arthur Dayne (he was confirmed as one of the 2 shown by YoungNed,) Ser Gerold Hightower and Ser Oswell Whent. Jamie Lannister read an entry from the Book of Brothers stating that all 3 of them died at the Tower of Joy. So we should meet one more Knight in a future flashback (I hope!)

    In ‘the Pointy End’ Season 1 Episode 8 Osha and Bran have a discussion regarding the Old Gods speaking through the wind and other means… maybe they are really referencing Greenseers like the 3ERaven and Bran attempting to communicate? Hmmm

    Uggghhhhh I want Dany’s story to move FASTER!

    Varys is a wizard I swear! He got his info QUICK and it was on point! Too bad we don’t get to see Vala die for her treachery.

    I laughed out loud when the Small Council left the Lannister twins and FrankenGregor sittinglooming there. Well done!

    When I first saw Umber at Winterfell and how he was acting, I was still betting that he would be supporting the Starks at least in secret. When he brought out Osha and Rickon the OverUmber (teehee) on his betrayal being a ruse shifted…. and then the head of Shaggydog really threw my entire thery out the window. CRAP!

    It barely even registered when Jon walked out on the Watch after that. I wonder if they’ll give him the loophole that since he died at his post his Oath is complete?

    • OVER UMBER, DAMMIT I AM MAD I DIDN’T THINK OF THAT! Brilliant. I was over Umber, and Umber was over Dunne. (Dorne? I’ll pull a pin in it…) :D

      Man, thanks for the breakdown on who’s who! Not having read the books, I clearly don’t know random names to remember when they’re not series regulars, so I’m sure I’ll be referencing this in the future…

      I really think Jon gets to be released since he was dead–and they all agree that he was, too. Nice loophole, huh?

      • Anthony Gitto

        HA! You have soo many clever quips that I’m glad that there are ANY you miss, that I can take advantage of.

        I’m trying to be absolutely sure now about my references because the books and the show run together for me now. This is why I am researching and citing specific seasons and episodes when I am stating information that may have been missed when watching the show.

  • magnusk_98

    The writers surely are chopping off dead story ends rather vigorously. It’ll be very interesting to see how many side characters will be dead by seasons end. ^^

  • PorkPie

    Oh man, i didn’t even THINK about Sansa being on her way when I saw him walking out, thank you so much for making this ep even more gut-wrenchingly awesome! I love how this season is just slamming us with stuff one thing right after the other (a sad solemn pout about Shaggy Dog – THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!) Watching the hanging was brutal, and I was hit with a lot of dual perspectives as we were granted each one’s last words, and Olly just saying VOLUMES with those eyes. I felt so hard, y’know?
    Oh, cannot wait until next week and love, love, LOVING your presence in this experience! I get all excited to see your wordplay and share in your FEELS all wrapped up with delicious bacon-y pop-culture! (“Can you say “adobe”? “ADOBE!” :P)

    • I’m right there with you on this season being so fast-paced and info-packed, but it doesn’t feel cumbersome or clunky to me at ALL.

      *hugs* I’m so happy that you’re enjoying the recaps!!

      And this is Juan and Inez. She’s holding a clay pot that she appears to be very proud of… :D (Tell no one. You’re my favorite for knowing that reference.)

      • PorkPie

        *hugs back* Eeeeeeeeeee!!! “The stars at night/ are big and bright” *clap clap clap clap*

  • Johan Kristian Milde

    I continue being blown away by Jonathan Pryce as the High Sparrow/Cult Pope. He shows himself to be an extremely competent manipulator and intrigue-monger, all the while I’m convinced he believes every word himself – making him extremely dangerous.

    Compare and contrast with Littlefinger – both are men of modest means who have maneuvered their way to the top by a combination of well-chosen words, great competency and raw force; yet where Littlefinger is a puppeteer prepared to risk and sacrifice even what he loves for a little more power – no one is safe around him -, Cult Pope seems to genuinely care about the poor he is feeding and the struggling he is clothing – just too bad if you are queer, non-believing, hedonistic, or caught in possession of dangerous female sexuality, though.

    • Jonathan Pryce is such a powerhouse, right? Everything is so cautious and careful, so quiet and well thought out from the way he speaks, his self-effacing laugh, all of it. Utter perfection, his performance. And I think he’s INCREDIBLY dangerous. Well, High Sparrow, not Mr. Pryce. :D

      This show truly is a wealth of fine acting. Everything about it from the production, costumes, locations… It’s just exquisite.

      I feel like you’re right about the backstabber, too. I’m going with it until I hear otherwise.

      • Lisa

        Has to be Howland doesn’t it? Ned’s entourage was basically all dead. But we know Howland Reed is Meera’s father by helpfully having Bran and 3eye name check him as Meera’s Dad. Meera seems to be Bran’s contemporary. Only possibly Robb and Jon were conceived prior to this. Since Meera is younger than Robb and Jon, Howland, like Ned, had to have lived through the battle or Meera would go all fading Marty Mcfly Polaroid.

        • MaxwellJames

          It was a little hard to tell him from the other deadly hipsters in Ned’s retinue. But yeah, gotta be him.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Also, Howland had to survive long enough to have two children, since I doubt both Meera and Jojen would’ve been already born at that point, so if he has to make it out alive, and this is the only guy we see get up again… Yeah, that’s gotta be Howland.

  • Lyanna Mormont

    DA-dum, da-da-DA-dum, da-da-DA-dum, da-da-da….

    First thought while watching the intro: Pyke! Vaes Dothrak! Wait, no Braavos? But I’m sure I saw Maisie Williams’s name! Is that meaningful, or was there just not enough time to squeeze in Braavos too? (Guess it was the latter.)

    Then there’s Jon (who seems to have lost the loincloth since last episode), and Davos. Melisandre, so stunned, grasping at the chance to Believe again, instantly pushing Jon towards savior status. But Davos gets it – as much as anyone can who hasn’t come back from the dead – and gets rid of her to give Jon some space, and someone to talk to who will just be there to help, not to work their own agenda. (I love Davos. So much. Please don’t kill him.) Jon is heartbroken, which is something Davos can relate to – he lost his son at the Blackwater, and more recently both his king and the girl he loved like a daughter. He knows about picking yourself up and trying to put the pieces back together.

    Oh, Tormund, and Edd. All my love for them treating Jon like Jon, not a miracle or savior, and teasing, joking, hugging. Now there’s friendship for you. Edd even laughed! When have we ever seen Dolorous Edd laugh? Guess all it takes is your friend coming back from the dead… in a good way.

    I love Gilly’s face, looking out at the sea. So happy! She’s getting a chance to see the rest of the world, outside of the north. And she’s so proud of herself for having learned to read. (Shireen will not be forgotten while Gilly lives.) Sam’s mention of sending her “home” makes me feel like this scene was originally meant to be in the previous episode. I hope Gilly’s going to tell the Tarlys that Sam is her baby daddy, and leave out the part about Craster. From what Sam has told us about his father, I don’t think that would end well.

    Also, that baby seems to finally have aged a bit. Funny how that happens at the very time when little to no time seems to have passed since last season in the other storylines.

    Straight into the vision of the past we go, with very little sign at first that it is a vision of the past, not until we see Bran and 3-eyed Max. The Max-eyed Raven? Anyway – I wonder who told Bran “a thousand times” about Ned defeating Arthur Dayne. It doesn’t seem like the kind of story Ned would make up. Maybe he just said he faced Dayne, and that Dayne was dead, and others took it from there? Or maybe Young!Ned was a little more self-conscious and slightly less rigidly honorable than the Ned we got to know?

    When Ned first paused on the steps, I thought he was just hesitant about going inside because he was afraid of what he’d see, because of those screams, and that we were being faked out. But then he actually turned around, and holy crap, he did hear something, didn’t he? “Father” wouldn’t mean anything to him, since nobody had ever called him that yet at this point, but… he heard (or felt) SOMEthing.

    Everything we’ve ever read, seen or been told has let us know how dangerous meddling with the past it. But has Bran been told those kinds of stories as well? Or is he teenager-y enough to think he can do it anyway? Either way, I’m pretty sure Bran will be going back again, with or without his raven-eyed guide.

    Oh, Dany. Still trying to bluster her way through. Those titles aren’t going to help you here. But somehow I suspect that this great gathering of the khalasars could work in her favor, if only Drogon would show up at the right time. If Dany could get all the Dothraki to follow her…

    It’s so good to get a real Varys scene again! He was reduced to Tyrion’s sidekick for all of last season, except for the parts where he didn’t appear at all, so it’s nice to see him get his chance to shine. That’s the same woman who we saw last season, helping the Sons of the Harpy, isn’t it?

    And now Tyrion’s the one waiting around for others to do their thing, and he’s not very good at it. Honestly, it was Grey Worm and Missandei and the looks they exchanged that made me laugh the most in this scene. Tyrion’s way of life is so completely alien to them, while they understand each other just fine.

    So, last season Tyrion identified himself to Jorah as “a person who drinks.” Last episode it was “That’s what I do, I drink and I know things.” Now he can’t think of a single game to play that doesn’t involve drinking. Is this building up to a situation where he will be deprived of his wine and go full-on crazy because of it, or is it just repeating the joke-not-joke?

    Here’s one of those scene changes again – from Varys to his (former) little birds, asking for him. Qyburn seems to take his inheritance of Varys’s position very seriously. And… wait, what? They’re flat out saying that’s Gregor now? What happened to his “anonymity”?

    Jaime, do not play with fire. You’ll get burned.

    Cersei’s on the warpath. She’s got plenty of reason. Her son’s been murdered, her father’s been murdered, she herself has been imprisoned and ritually humiliated in front of the whole city, her daughter’s been murdered… Yeah, she’s going to fight tooth and nail for what she has left. Jaime clearly intends to help her, but Kevan and Olenna aren’t playing. (Mace looked like he was watching a tennis game, the way his head swung back and forth. And isn’t it weird to think that his honorary Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant, very possibly had orders from Cersei last season not to let Mace return from Braavos alive, but Arya and her list got in the way?)

    Tommen, you are not in the High Sparrow’s league. Step carefully. Someone else might be able to pretend to find religion and use that to gain headway with the Faith, but Tommen? Not a chance. He’d need plenty more political training from Cersei – and ideally Tyrion as well – before that was even remotely possible.

    Arya gets an actual training montage. And her eyes back. Yeah, I can’t think of much else to say about this bit, except that if Arya can learn to tell truth from half-truth the way A Mean Girl does, that’s a pretty damn powerful skill to have.

    Ramsay just wants to whole world to kneel to him, is that too much to ask? That and a few more bloodthirsty dogs, and a couple of redheads, and… well. If the whole world would just kneel to him already, he could get those other things without much trouble. So why is everyone being so difficult?

    I stared at that boy for a long few seconds, going “Is that our Rickon? That IS Art Parkinson, isn’t it? If it is, he’s grown A LOT since we last saw him – three years ago, OMG – and if it isn’t, that’s one hell of a good casting job. (The credits said it was him. Wow.) And no-no-no-no, not Shaggydog! Not another dead direwolf! I guess that rules out any chance of the Umbers actually plotting against Ramsay, and using this as a way to gain his trust so they can stab him in the back when he least expects it, because they’ve truly burned their bridges with the Stark family now. (Unless that’s another direwolf? Nah. Too unlikely, and still wouldn’t gain them any points with Rickon.) That’s half the original six puppies gone! And Nymeria’s running wild somewhere in Westeros, going without Arya for five years now. We need a Society for Protection of Direwolves, too.

    Alliser Thorne goes out in style. He was a member of the Night’s Watch to the core – not forced into it like most everybody else there. He did what he thought was right, and he won’t apologize for it. He might not be a character I’d get along with, but he had his principles and stood up for them to the bitter end, I have a lot more (reluctant) respect for him than for Olly or Janos Slynt.

    Jon might not technically have the right to hand the position of Lord Commander over to Edd, but given that Edd led those who wouldn’t simply go along with the murder, and given that Jon just came back from the dead, I can’t see anyone else arguing against his choice.

    And now he says his watch is ended. What next, Jon Snow?

  • MaxwellJames

    First of all – sorry you’re still having trouble with book spoiler people. A price of success, I guess (both yours & the show’s). For what it’s worth, I had the old R+L thing spoiled (or “spoiled”) for me almost ten years ago now, by some jackass while I was looking for information on the then-still-highly-theoretical show.

    Anyway, this was the first episode this year that really worked for me. Some of that was book-reader stuff that I’ll keep to myself, others were nitty gritty things that I’ll try not to complain about too much (Seriously though: why can none of the great lords of Westeros afford a goddamn security detail? You’d think Roose Bolton, of all people, would consider these things).

    But it’s also because I like GoT when it is a) funny and b) morally complex, and this episode had both in spades. Having Jon back is good & much needed; having him back with so much uncertainty around him, his future, and his actions* (poor Olly!) is better. Similarly, I really don’t know what to think is going on with Arya now, and no longer have any book knowledge to rely upon in that regard.

    And of course, I was delighted to see Bran’s time travel journey, in a scene I’ve been waiting on (in somewhat different form) for years now. I hope Harold has some purple crayons so that they can actually _do_ something about events to come, though, instead of just lie in the dark and observe.

    *Though personally, I am going to miss Ser Alliser *cough* Butt-Hurt almost as much as Stannis. All the kind of complicated, ill-humored, gravelly-voiced dudes are going the way of the dodo.

    • Maxwell! Glad to see you! The spoilers are few and far between, so that’s a good thing. Mostly it’s reduced to people setting me up to talk about the books and me shutting it down. It’s all good!

      This world HAS Kingsguards. They’re working for Tommen, so you’d think that know-how would pass down to some of the lesser lords and ladies… Thank goodness Sansa has Brienne of Tarth, is all I’m saying.

      Oh my gosh, I just clapped my hands in glee at your Purple Crayon joke. I love my readers so much. <3

      And hahaha, Alliser! God, he was fun to watch. I get why he had the morals he did, why he acted as he did. I do, I get it. I just side with Jon more because I'm seeing the big picture from Jon's POV. But he was a LOT of fun on screen. Another terrific actor on a show lousy with talented performers.

  • Hahahaa! Maybe they have a special salve or ointment on them… Made from hangman’s grease. [ducks]

    • Anthony Gitto

      Was that a Outlander reference? ;)

    • Ana G

      Haha. But seriously, are his organs in order? Or is he dead but animate? Or is this just glossing over because no one wants that’s grossness on tv, haha

    • Lisa

      Someone has been watching Outlander.

  • Lyanna Mormont

    Well, at least the internal damage must’ve been healed, if that comment about Olly stabbing him through the heart was literal. Unless Jon no longer has a functioning heart?

  • JCDavis

    Hola. Stellar recap again!! Okay, well THANKS. Now I am seeing all characters in GoT’s as their alternate in Oliver. What a grand episode. Season 6 is so far out pacing all others to date. And still much more to come. I am so curious for many of the plots, but here are some thoughts from last night.

    When the Waif was beating up on poor little mini Yentl and asked about the list and wanted to know if that was all….I think the Waif has just been mentally added to mini Yentl’s list. *nods*

    Tower of Joy was a tower of a powerful scene. Great sword fight. Did daddy hear daddy baby? or not? Can you say Morlocks? Can Ming the Merciless keep it all in check?

    Uncle Fester was awesome this week. I have missed him so much and he was on point last night. “Did I say that name right?” “I am too weak to carry all the booty away for you”. Good stuff.

    Will Oliver turn into Bill Sikes?? Is Uncle Fester going to lose his little birds to Fagin? Does Bulls Eye know something we don’t know? I am gonna be like Nancy and Um Pah Pah Um Pah Pah. My way to the DVR and watch this puppy again. I haven’t figured out who The Artful Dodger could be yet, my first instinct is Little Finger, but I like the Dodger too much to do that.

    • Isn’t this just a marvelous season?! I mean, we have an embarrassment of riches, and to have this just clocking along as well as it is? So happy.

      All I want in life at this very moment is for Arya to say, “Papa, can you heeeeaaaaaar meeeeee?”

      I really think Ned heard Bran. BUT WHY WOULD HE RESPOND TO “FATHER?” I wanna know!

      God, haven’t you just missed the Lord of Whispers?! So slippery, so clever. Bill Sikes = RAMSAY, but sans the local girl with a heart of gold who loves him, because whatshercrusheddogmeat ain’t no Nancy.

      • JCDavis

        Been reflecting. You reminded me today of how much I miss Oliver Reed. I have to stop this double identity thing, I start to hear the person in my head. Already for the High Pope I hear Bernie Sanders voice. ;)

        YASSSSS. Just one “Papa can’t you hear me”. :D

        Great observation. Since at the time of ToJ why would Ned respond to “Father”? Good question, unless it was just to hearing a voice that he didn’t recognize? Color me Cher Horowitz!!

        • LOL at Bernie Sanders… Too grumpy for me. :D I get some Mayor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes. Gosh! ;)

  • JCDavis

    On a separate and totally unrelated topic, I got my mail in ballot today and for the first time in decades I can’t choose. So I did a “write it” and put Jon Snow. ;)

    • HAHAHAHA

    • Anthony Gitto

      Somewhat unrelated to to your unrelated post…. I’m going to Comic-con this year and for the 2 days I am there I am wearing a ‘Crows before Hoes’ shirt one day and a ‘Vote Dwayne Ellizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho 2016″ shirt for the other.

  • Moriah Gemel

    So is that all the direwolves gone, or does Bran still have Summer and we just didn’t see him running around? I am confused. Are we gonna lose all of them by the end of the series? I don’t know if my heart can take it (even though I have headcanons about Nymeria still running around and waiting for Arya, to make myself feel better).

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Ghost was right there in this episode! And Summer is presumably still with Bran, just out hunting or something. (Also, no budget for two direwolves in one episode, I bet.) Nymeria should still be running free… somewhere in Westeros.

      But yeah, three out of the six are apparently gone, to my great sorrow.

      • Moriah Gemel

        I forgot about Ghost! Why do I always do that. But yes, the rest are gone, and I am sad for it. There’s some kind of symbolism about the safety of the Starks and their direwolves. I figured Jon wasn’t dead because Ghost was still alive, I don’t think the direwolves will ever outlive the Starks.

  • SaintsGrrl

    Something to keep in mind… Just because they slap down a wolf head, it doesn’t mean it’s THE wolf head (Rickon & Osha could tell the diff, but why say anything?). I smell a plot afoot.

    • !!!!!!!!!!!

      I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB.

      • SaintsGrrl

        Thought you might. :D

      • Cyrano Thebirdsareback

        But how many direwolf heads would there be south of the Wall? I like flagon-half-full optimism, but I think (sadly) that a dead direwolf head means a dead Shaggydog.
        I wish they had given him a retroactive heroic death, with Notjon Umber saying “He took down 10 of my best men!” as he tosses the head on the table.

        • *sniff* That would have been lovely of them to throw us a bone like that…

          • SaintsGrrl

            I hope I’m not filling you with false hope and you’re going to be like the horrible Oberyn scene if I’m wrong (hugs hugs hugs).

        • SaintsGrrl

          Personally (and I’m not alone here) I thought that wolf head looked too small to be a direwolf. And as Cyrano said, how many of them were south of the wall, so how many people would know the difference? I still smell a plot.

          • I AM HOPING YOU ARE RIGHT. :(

            • SaintsGrrl

              SO AM I. :) Seriously, GoT is all about those lovely GOTCHA twists.

              • Lyanna Mormont

                GoT is also all about subverting the classic fantasy tropes. In this world, the magical animal protectors really do get killed. (Just like the heroes do.) I really want to believe that was a fake Shaggydog, but… I’m having a hard time seeing it.

    • Anthony Gitto

      ;) Now I’m envisioning the Younger Umber saying:

      “I switched Wolf heads when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Riverlands” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Red Priest when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha… ” THUMP

      PS I know Smalljon Umber isn’t a red priest, but I had to go where the quote took me!

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  • Zack

    Edd’s one of my favorite characters to read, and he continues to be one of the best to watch as well. When a show just ‘gets’ friendship like that, I am so happy.

    Also, goddamn Tower of Joy. Been waiting FOREVER. 7 on 3, and that down to 2 and 1 respectively. Dayne double wielding was fookin bananas. Well done show, for living up to my imagination.

    “Uh, Cat Piss? You might want to shut it. Actually, no, keep it up. It’ll be funny to see Gregor punch your last two teeth out, I think. He LITERALLY farts when he realizes Gregor and Cersei are there in the room, and I just cannot with this show, oh my GOD.”

    Laura I love you. This and your remark re: the khaleesis not being Golden Girlsy, totally on the same wavelength there <3

    I don't buy that Rickon would be gone for so long only to return to be flayed. I bet that's a big ass regular wolf head, not a small direwolf head, and the Umbers have a plan. I hope. I don't know if I could take losing another Stark! dammit show

    Bring on next week.

    • Real friendships are so amazing to see on screen, right? A lot of that relies on the actors, but that’s hardly ever a problem on this show.

      DAYNE WITH THE DOUBLE DOWN WAS OUT FREAKING STANDING. I was mesmerized. Hell, I’m going to watch that scene again right now, it was so well done.

      I’m so happy when you guys laugh with me. The show can be so dark that I need to humor to keep me going, so it’s great when I find other folks who like ridiculousness, too.

      I REALLY don’t want something to happen to Rickon. Oh, I love the idea of the Umbers with a plan! He’s clearly thinking a few steps ahead of Ramsay, which I approve of. Re: bringing next week, as the kids say, SAAAAAAAME.

      • Zack

        I love when a sword fight tells you things about the combatants’ personalities. Often they feel kind of generic. But Thrones seems like it has it figured out. I also remember that Hound v. Brienne fight from a few years ago, or that fight from season 1 Bronn v. armored-up knight v. Moon Door.

        But Arthur Dayne is supposedly the finest swordsman Westeros has seen for ages. And flashy dual wielding against multiple opponents skilled in their own right, it’s a fantastic way to put that across even to people who haven’t read the series.

        • Agreed! Even though it ended in my own personal death, (true story-I’m not actually alive) watching Jaime Lannister grin and marvel over Oberyn Martell working his quarterstaff in the arena was such a terrific moment of storytelling and character development.

      • Cyrano Thebirdsareback

        Did you see that one of the companions of YoungNed was from Dorne? (same armor / costume / caparison for the horse)
        Why would a warrior (knight?) from Dorne want to help Eddard Stark from The North rescue his sister?

        • Anthony Gitto

          I see what you are referring to… 2 horses are in Dornish regalia at 55 seconds of the video below or at least have similar colorstyle. I do see someone wearing Dornish like head gear at approx 3:08, but I don’t think he was Dornish. 2 reasons:

          1. the official show wiki states 6 northmen

          2. If you rewatch however, those horses are shown behind the Kingsguard, not the Northmen… so those would be the horses of the Kinsguard (who normally protect a Dornish princess Elia Martell, so maybe they are a gift?)

          video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDOWgbo1ho8

          • Cyrano Thebirdsareback

            Thanks! Yeah, you are right about the horses – my bad.
            The last guy to die definitely had Dornish-ish headgear, but I have no idea of the significance. Maybe he was well-traveled and had picked up a local affectation.
            One of the companions of Ned had that “Northern” helm, but the rest were pretty nondescript.

          • Lyanna Mormont

            At about 1.21 in that video, you can see the men lined up behind Ned. One of them definitely has a headwrap that looks rather Dornish, but the rest of his armor looks just like Ned’s. Maybe, since they’re in a desert-like landscape, he simply adopted the local custom to protect himself from the sun?

            (Or maybe the actor had a mohawk or something and they wanted to hide it from view…)

  • Unbeheld

    Great recap and references as always :D

    As many have mentioned already there’s a critical reason why that Bran flashback was shown in this episode both from a moral character development point and also to unveil one of GoT’s greatest mysteries. It teaches Bran that history really is written from the perspective of the winner. I’m glad that you were perceptive enough to deduce some of the fan theory that’s been circling around for the last 20 years now.

    I don’t want to delve into the whole R+L=J theory but just want to give you some critical key points you might want to look out for in future episodes.

    Those 2 dudes who wore Targ armor were part of the Mad King’s Kingsguard (just like current Jaime is and Barristan was). Unlike the sorry lot that wears the white cloak in the current timeline, the Mad King’s 7 were like the NBA 92′ Dream Team both in martial prowess and values as a knight.

    We only saw 2 of the 3 that was supposed to be there, it’s very possible the 3rd was guarding inside the tower directly. The key dialogue in that awesome sequence was:

    “Why weren’t you guys protecting your Prince in the most important battle at the Trident?”
    “We were commanded to be here”.

    This is like finding Jack Bauer guarding the closet inside a random farm while the bad guys took out everyone at the white house. Orders or not, there’s something very fishy about 3 of the best fighters being MIA in the most important battle and it certainly wasn’t because of cowardice.

    As a hardcore reader fan, that scene played out 95% as beautifully than expected. People are freaking about how Dayne wielded Dawn (the westeros lightsaber) instead of dual wielding but I have a feeling they did this to make the fight more flashy (and that actor really deserves major props). I’m more bummed about some of the most memorable quotes that got lost in the adaptation.

    Someone made a word for word copy from the source. Judge for yourself:

    https://mccomseycomix.wordpress.com/2012/08/20/the-tower-of-joy-an-adaptation/

    • Hey, thanks! Glad you’re enjoying the recaps!

      I’ll bookmark that link for down the road (I really am ridiculously spoilerphobic). But I agree that the swordsmanship was executed beautifully from a filmatic viewpoint. I loved that it had weight, that they moved like it was real, and since I don’t have to worry about transitions from the page to screen, that they both weren’t doubled up as Kingsguard with their swords, I could just marvel at getting a little backstory with some of the names sparking recognition.

      And am I the only one who is seriously impressed with the guy they hired as a young Sean Bean? I mean, it’s uncanny!

      • D

        I kept looking at him thinking it was Barny Stinson doing a page out of his playbook.

  • ShoelesJoe

    Here’s a question — at the end of “Mother’s Mercy” Jon is surrounded and ambushed by something like twenty brothers of the Watch, six of whom actually stab him to death. The scene makes it crystal clear that the conspiracy against the Lord Commander goes way beyond just four guys.

    So why are there only four getting hung at the end of “Oathbreaker”? Was there a previous necktie party that we missed? Or did Jon pardon the rest (including two guys that actually stabbed him) and only condemn the main conspirators?

    • Oh, I’m sure it’s just a matter of money, logistics in hiring people, and the stage, honestly.

    • Anthony Gitto

      I would guess that since they only have like 50 crows left they cannot afford to kill all conspirators… So Ringleaders only!

  • Rebekah Fletcher

    The Faceless men have to literally cut the faces off of corpses to use them as disguises. That’s why they collect so many dead bodies. The promotional images with other characters’ heads in the Hall of Faces are just for fun. They’re not actually there.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      But we don’t actually KNOW that they have to cut the faces off. The show has never established that as absolute fact, we just assume it. What if we’re wrong?

      • OH GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS. I read that comment between my fingers.

  • moata

    I LOVE THIS SHOW. EEEEE!
    Last week I was explaining to a colleague how freaked out I was when, after trying for nearly two years to get pregnant, it finally happened. I thought I’d be thrilled but instead I was all “Holy shit, I can’t believe it worked. NOW WHAT?” I swear the face that Melisandre made when she saw Jon sitting up being not dead was THE EXACT SAME FACE I MADE, ‘cept I was looking at a stick with my wees on it. Funny, huh?
    Other random observations –
    I like how Jon carrying out the execution of men of the Night’s Watch mirrors Ned doing the same thing in the very first episode, when he says something along the lines of “the man that hands down the sentence also delivers the punishment”. In that moment neither of them took any pleasure in it but saw it as a matter of necessity, duty and honour. And let’s not forget, the guy that Ned beheaded was given the chop because he deserted from the Night’s Watch…
    Olly’s face when he’s in the noose. That looked like pure hatred to me.
    Loving the take no shit attitude House of Umber (Usher) dude fronted up to Ramsay with. Ramsay Bolton is not used to being addressed so informal, madam. Nope.
    Shame he went and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like “here’s Rickon Stark as a housewarming gift”. NOT COOL. You said the C-word dude. You could have been my new favourite…
    Like everyone else I grown impatient with Dany’s storyline. Like, obviously the Dothraki Royal Nunnery isn’t the fun palace we’d all hoped for but she’s been in so much more perilous environments before I feel a bit bored with this. I hope we get to see more of the Dothraki bros soon.

    I was just thinking of the nice comedic moments in this episode Tormund of the peen-critique, the exchange between Jon and Edd (who by the way is played by Ben Crompton who is better known as a comic actor in the UK than a dramatic one), the House of Usher straight shooter… and it was a bit sparse on humour for the ladies. Okay, yes, they’re usually getting raped or murdered so, not so easy with the chuckles, but I’d be really keen on a bit of Oleanna or Osha sass in coming episodes, you know? Oleanna only got like one fairly easy incest joke in this ep. More lady quips please.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      But there was Gilly! I liked her “see/sea” ponderings, and her smug little “That was before I could read, of course!” And the Missandei/Grey Worm interplay while listening to Tyrion rambling on was quite funny to me.

    • Anthony Gitto

      OMG this post just gave me an idea for a snarky comment for next week!!! I swear on a Sacred Weirwood that I’ll give you props ;)