Previously: Everything went to shit.
Last week I thought the episode ended with Evie walking to the trains, but commenter and local cool guy Derrick pointed out that it was Beth, walking to her death. OHHHHHH! That is so right! As a professional recapper who considers what she does an art form, I appreciate the keen eye. (ed note: still not a professional recapper)
Rachel practices walking with her forearm crutches. She’s rickety but getting so much better, AND she isn’t wearing the eyepatch anymore. She’s looking closer and closer to her old self. She hears a loud clicking noise. Susan has unlocked Rachel’s prison doors but is too depressed about losing the Original to get off the couch and help her up the stairs. Geeze Mom, thanks.
Rachel’s prison was in the beautiful basement of a beautiful house overlooking a beautiful coast. I have no idea where they actually are. Susan ironically tells her they’re in the Island of Dr. Moreau.
At the safehouse, everyone is, like, super depressed. When Sarah comes to Mrs. S and calls her Mom, Mrs. S is especially mean to Sarah and it breaks my heart. “You came to me an orphan. It’s all you’ll ever be.” Wow S, so harsh. Not cool.
Sarah, heart officially broken, goes to leave and Mrs. S tells her she’s not taking Kira. Sarah takes off to self destruct. Thanks for that, S.
Cosima is falling apart too. She feels she pushed Sarah into making the deal and made them fall into Evie’s trap and now Kendall’s dead and there’s no cure sad face. :'( Scott tries to cheer her up and decides to start up the computers. Maybe something is left? Maybe they should’ve backed up the data and research? Maybe they backed up the-oh I give up.
Alison makes a perfectly gorgeous vase of sympathy flowers for Mrs. S and breaks down crying while writing a note to her. Poor Alison. Poor clones. They’re all so defeated. :’(
Donnie comes in and comforts her. He wants to cancel Gemma’s birthday slumber party but Alison puts her foot down and wants to keep things normal. “There are hot dogs in the freezer, mister! I’m putting my foot down!” Oh Alison, you are a delight.
Susan gives Rachel a lesson on the beginnings of Neolution. There’s a large bible type book and everything. I am promptly bored.
Anyways, Neolution dates back to the Victorian days and was started by some guy named Percival Westmoreland. Best name ever? You decide. So basically it’s like Scientology but with less Travolta so it’s automatically better.
Susan is defeated by Evie’s takeover and the end of the Leda clone project but Rachel remains strong as ever. She’s ready to stand by her mother and to find a cure together. She takes Susan’s hand and points out all Susan has done for her recovery. Look at my eye, she tells Susan and Susan agrees that it’s almost perfect. Hmmmm, is that her agreeing and complimenting or is there more to it being almost perfect?
Fee comes to visit and comfort S. He starts to make tea and asks about Sarah. S says she’s gone and Kira tiredly agrees. Felix stands by Sarah and says Sarah doesn’t do that anymore. S is the worst right now and shrugs that Sarah can take care of herself. Felix comforts Kira that Sarah hasn’t left like before and Kira’s all, uh huh, in an exhausted way. That kid is just done. Felix scolds S and goes to find Sarah.
Hell Wizard comes and looks at the computers. Yep, it’s all gone. Not even gonna say it anymore. Cosima lashes out a little at Scott who doesn’t take it lying down. You go, Scott. Oh hey, Cosima recalls that she swiped Sarah’s squirmy little maggot bot. Maybe this can help?
Art comes to visit S, who gives him Cosima’s description of the man that shot her mother and Art is all, yeah that sounds like that creepy fuck with the earmuffs. Actually, that’s what I said out loud cause I keep forgetting his name. Duko. Right.
Mrs. S asks if Duko works for Evie and her tone is all, I’m pretending to be making conversation but really I’m gathering info on who to effing destroy. Art gives it up that Duko was the one that was harassing Beth and Mrs. S files that under Info For Killing A Bitch Later.
Evie is meeting with some doctor guy. He’s been her doctor and treated her since she was a sick child. He congratulates her on her successful takeover and she says it’s just in time as she shows him her bad case of Shingles. OUCH. I had a very, very mild case a few years ago from work stress and they super hurt! This case is about a zillion times worse and I can’t even imagine how she’s walking and functioning. Evie is a tough bird.
She has Shingles as a result of all the immunosuppressants she used for most of her life. No worries, they’ll get her fitted with the first of the new gene therapy implant bot and bye bye shingles. Evie’s all, yeah, haha, and also bye bye clones muhahahahaaa.
Rachel, Ira and Susan get ready for a Skype call with Evie and Co. Susan asks Ira how he’s feeling and he snips out that he’s fine. Plus he calls her ‘Mother’ which is all sorts of ew. Susan is just glad that he’s survived and is here to share in her ‘retirement’ and like a mean sister Rachel chimes in that luckily he sucks at killing himself…only she says it in her refined way of course. Susan scolds her but Ira doesn’t want to talk about it :/
The call begins. Evie tells them that Neolution is under her control and her science is the one being backed now. Leda is being dismantled. The unaware and still monitored clones are being cut loose and their days are numbered anyways cause of that pesky disease. Harsh. Sarah and the rest are considered a threat and will be dealt with accordingly. That doesn’t sound good. Rachel wants to help with that as she is Neolution bred but Evie smirks at her. Being a gross old clone means she’ll never be working for Neolution again. She’s out. Racists!
Sarah goes to the Bovine Sex Club and proceeds to drink like 40 trillion shots along with a healthy amount of beer while the punk singer Peaches rocks out on stage. I’d be dead if I tried to keep up with Sarah. It would be Barf City.
Dizzy shows up (of course he does?) and hangs out with her. He wants to talk shop but not Sarah. She’s wearing the black top from episode one, symbolizing her reverting to her old, self-destructive self. She proceeds to fall back into her bad habits as she flirts with him, then another couple that is looking for a bit of three-way fun. Sarah is more than happy to drink, dance, drug and sex with them in a back room. She does a rail and sees Beth in the reflection of the mirror. Oh Sarah. You are lost right now. Stupid Mrs. S.
Alison has decorated the house to her impeccable standards for the party. Everything is ready and oh guess what? Donnie has invited someone to help Alison, someone that she might feel better talking to: Reverend Mike, from the intervention in season one! Oh man that was a great scene. Alison isn’t really pumped. She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings much.
Reverend Mike is really very sweet and kind. He is happy to tell Alison that the community stage is open for her musical. I CANNOT WAIT for more Alison on the stage omg omg. He tries to get her to open up and chat. Alison doesn’t. Poor Alison. She’s so sad.
Felix comes to the Bovine, showing Sarah’s picture around. He chats with Dizzy, who doesn’t spill Sarah is there right now, actually, crazy drunk and high, sexing away with a random couple in a back room. He’s got her back I guess?
Felix leaves to keep looking for her but not before telling Dizzy he’s Sarah’s brother and she has daughter. Dizzy is very interested in the fact that Sara has a daughter. Very. That’s not suspicious at all. Dizzy is more involved then it appears.
Sarah comes back out, dances some more, and then picks a fight with her former threesome pals when they are mean to Dizzy. I guess their relationship wasn’t that special after all. She leaves with Dizzy and they go back to his place.
Art goes to the precinct and beats the crap out of Duko. Hahaha! Duko takes his licks and tells Art that Neolution can’t be stopped. They know everything: collaborating with Sarah, aiding the Hendrixes, putting the cell phone in the hand of the woman Beth shot. They’re coming for Art. Oh oh! Art punches Duko in his creepy face again for fun and leaves.
Mrs. S ominously and meticulously polishes her rifle and gets it all ready for some killing. Nothing bad could possibly come of this.
Charlotte and Rachel hang out. Rachel tells Charlotte the truth about being sick and that she’s dying, and one day Rachel will be too. Charlotte gives her a look.
Donnie tells the slumber party kids an epic ghost story and has them eating out of his hand. Everything is going great…until the police storm in. Happy music plays as the kids scream and the cops trample gifts. Donnie is cuffed and dragged out, shouting for Alison to call…someone. He doesn’t know who. HAHA. Poor Donnie.
As he’s led away who should show up without a hint of a bruise but our pal Duko. That’s weird. Does he have a bot that heals him? He’s wearing his Earmuffs of Evil and still sufficiently creepy. He gives Alison his card and seals the creepy deal by asking how she’s holding up with the loss of Kendall. Rude!
Down at Dizzy’s, Sarah and Dizzy take some pills and start macking on each other. He’s ready to be honest and tell her clone/maggot bot stuff, like how his friend had a maggot bot too but ‘they’ killed him when he tried to take it out. Apparently that friend was the dead guy with the split penis. Sarah doesn’t want to talk; she’s ready for more sexing. Anything to numb her pain. She seductively sucks Dizzy’s finger but he notices her implant is gone and asks about it, pushing her away. “I’m out!” she shouts, and leaves. “Wanker!” LOLOLOL
She’s so messed up that she tells mirror Beth to stop following her as she leaves. Dizzy’s all, I’m not, this is my place! Hahaha
S comes to chat with Kira, who tells her that Sarah thinks it’s all her fault. When Mrs. S says Sarah will be back Kira disagrees. She’s following Beth, she says. S is alarmed. Stupid Mrs. S. You didn’t have to be mean to Sarah. Now look!
Sarah stands on the bridge over the subway. She is hallucinating that Beth is with her. Beth wants Sarah to join her. Sarah is more than ready to jump.
Back at the lab, Cosima and Scott look at Sarah’s maggoty bot. Since it was designed to look for the gene that would turn on the sickness in Sarah, Cosima hypothesizes that maybe it could help her. Maybe they should cut into her cheek and pop it in. Maybe it could find the gene making her sick. Scott rightfully thinks maybe that’s insane and is so not on board but when he turns to help Hell Wizard with the food they ordered, Cosima sneaks into the basement lab and locks them out. More importantly, he says her stuff has spirulina in it. Yuck. I hear that tastes like pond scum.
Scott and Hell Wizard (are they ever going to give him a real name?) bang on the door as Cosima prepares to shove the bot into her face. Ew, it’s so wiggly and gross. Cosima is prepared to die to help her sisters be cured from the disease.
Fee walks and looks for Sarah. S calls and tell him what Kira said about Sarah flowing Beth and Felix is all wtf Mom I told you! Then Scott calls him, panicked about Cosima. Felix is so funny here, “Like what, Scott? What? I have multiple emergencies right now so you need to tell me.” Scott says that Cosima blames herself for Kendall and is all crushed to find out about Delphine.
Felix is all, oh yeahhhhhhh that’s right it completely slipped my mind to tell Cosima that I know something very important about Delphine! Instead of telling Scott, who could shout it through the door and immediately let her know and maybe stop shoving dangerous shit into her face, he tells Scott to tell Cosima to answer her phone when he calls. Wait, what?
Cosima ignores the call for a bit and holds the bot next to the incision she cut in her cheek. Luckily she answers so Felix can tell her that Krystal saw Delphine get shot, and then saw someone help her. They carried her away and she was still alive. Yay! Cosima’s lip trembles and puts the bot down for more crying time.
Felix finds Sarah at the bridge tracks where Beth killed herself below. She doesn’t jump and they hug. Yayyyyyy brother-sister love is back!
Sarah comes back to the safehouse. She looks like she’s gone through some rough times, that’s for sure. Mrs. S silently makes eggs and they sit together at the table. Sarah takes Mrs. S’s hand and holds tight. Aw, just like Rachel and her mom!
Kira sits in her room, playing a game on her computer. MK in her sheep mask hacks in to talk. Intrigue!
We finish the episode with Rachel. She’s struggling down the spiral staircase, calling hello, but no one seems to be around. Rachel slips and falls on the last step. As she lays on the floor, a little stunned, she sees a white swan swimming in the living room.
Ira comes over to help her and she asks if he saw it. He didn’t, cause that was something projected through her robot eye. Swan. Leda. WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEEEAN?
Hey, when do you think someone will call Helena?