Game of Thrones 7.1 – Dragonstone


Oh, whoops. I actually had the capslock button engaged on my laptop, sorry for that. Ahem. Hi! So… pretty boring intro for the season, right?

THAT IS A DIRTY DAMN LIE, THE DIRTIEST I EVER TOLD. Ooooooh my gosh, you guys, I have been waiting for this show! And you! And it’s been 84 years since Cersei blew up half the damn city because she is the worst, most petulant mother-in-law in history, and I’m just so overcome right now to have more story?

Ross Gellar I'm Fine

Aaaaand consider this your obligatory reminder that I am Unsullied. I have not read the books, I have promised not to read the books until the show is over, I’m incredibly Spoiler-Phobic (waves a hello to new readers I met at Con of Thrones) and I will not brook book discussion on this site. Really wanting to split hairs about that sort of thing? I highly recommend my pals at Watchers On The Wall for that. But here, talk about the SHOW ONLY, and keep it to aired episodes. Please and thank you, A Girl has No Chill. [forehead kisses]


We open with a misdirection scene so delicious I could kiss my fingers. Argus Filch Frey has invited the whole house Slytherin to the Great Hall (ceiling forecast: cloudy with a hint of deception) to share wine just a few days after their last feast, and these dum-dums are so addlepated they don’t see that as a tip-off. Frey is the least generous man in Westeros.

He congratulates them on slaughtering women, children and guests—which the Gods do not forgive—and as they die choking on their own hubris (poisoned wine), we see Arya Stark, Ultra Assassin©, remove Frey’s face, and delivers a “HEY WELCOME BACK TO GAME OF THRONES” line to the poor girl currently forced into the role of Filch-Frey’s wife:

Arya Stark Frey assassin

“When you tell people what happened here, tell them: ‘The North remembers.’”

Hey. Guys? I freaking love this show. Also, that was a lovely bit of acting there on David Bradley’s part, I want to point out. Lovely little tics and bemused grins to let the audience know Something Is Not Right.

Quick: someone commission a bard to write a song to rival “The Rains of Castamere” song for the Stark Family. (A Girl can hope…)

Also, you’re a liar if you try to convince me that you didn’t hum/sing/interpretive dance along with the intro, or holler out when you saw a new place on the map. It’s cool. You’re among family. I support you in all of your embarrassing decisions. NO I AM NOT PROJECTING, HOW VERY DARE YOU SUGGEST I SCARED THE CAT WITH A PIROUETTE. (She’ll be fine.)

The army of the dead is on the move, they’re bringing Winter with them, and it’s terrifying. AHHHH THEY HAVE GIANTS. Undead giants = my new favorite most horrible zombie ever. Also, RIP George Romero. Side observation #2: Meera is apparently WAY stronger than she looks, because she dragged Brandon Stark on a sled all the way from the Children’s Tree (RIP, Hodor, #NeverForget) and I’m just super worried about Bran being marked by the Night King on his forearm, and him going through the Gate and that making it so the Army of the dead can move past the wall. Did we ever determine if that was a thing on the show? We didn’t yet, right? That’s a mystery still to be solved. Gah.

And let me point out that a few eps back I said someone needs to build a spreadsheet of Valyrian steel swords (I nominate Samwell Gamgee Red Leader Porkins Tarley, Maester-in-Training), but now we see Jon taking shit seriously by trying to locate any and all dragonglass. Both? Can we locate and inventory both? Also, Jon gets bonus points for opening up enrollment in the army to the female-identified. WAY TO BE PROGRESSIVE, MY DUDE.

OH HO HO, DOUBLE HEART-EYED BONUS POINTS, for the record, for my pretend-daughter, Lyanna Mormont, who shuts down Lord “Girls can’t fight! By the way, neither did I” Glover with her smackdown of awesomeness, encouraged by the most delighted smile Brienne of Tarth has ever given anyone. Lyanna Mormont is the future of Westerosi women, and I am HERE. FOR. IT.

Lyanna Mormont Bear Island

You know that friend who has a cat that won’t let anyone pet it, and the cat hisses and spits and scratches at anyone who tries? Then suddenly that cat is in your lap demanding affection? THIS IS THAT CAT MADE HUMAN AND I LOVE MY ANGRY LITTLE CHILD.

Best line: “I don’t need your permission to defend the north.”

Lyanna Mormont? Allow me to say this. I don’t believe you need a mother, but if you want one, I will knit you lumpy sweaters and make sure you don’t catch a chill and slip treats in your backpack and tell you how amazing and fierce and proud of you I am. (I have a soft spot for awesome pre-teen/teen girls, I can’t help it. I LOVE YOU, BABIES. YOU’RE DOING SO GOOD, SWEETIE. I AM SO PROUD.)

Everything isn’t butter on biscuits, though, because Sansa brings up some good points as Jon lays out some strategy. The Karstarks and Umbers are garbage people and should lose their holds. Jon’s theory is: #NotAllKarstarks. Well… I feel like this will come back to bite Jon in the ass via Baelish. Takers of that bet? (Don’t. That’s a Sucker’s Bet.)

Jon calls forth the heirs of the Umbers and Karstarks, who are reasonably nervous at the attention, but they are 1) a teen girl (hooray!) and a young little boy and 2) smart enough to realize where they are in this Game. They take oaths to support Jon, whew. It’s a good move, but it’s not a great move. Oh, not with respect to them, they get to keep a roof over their head. But what’s the damn tagline for this joint? THE NORTH REMEMBERS. That also means they remember turncoats and pederasts, I assume.

After the council meeting, Jon and Sansa bicker about bickering in public, and Sansa makes a comparison between Jon and Joffrey.

Sansa? Camera three. Girl, baby girl, beautiful Titian goddess, you know I have your back. I do. But comparing anyone to Joffrey is basically Godwin’s Law. Like, you don’t throw out your Ace of Spades when the table shows a 6 of Diamonds and a 10 of Clubs, ya feel? (She does, fortunately.)

In fact, Sansa is so smart she knows that Ned and Robb were too good by half and it left them vulnerable for mistakes that cost them their lives, and it put their House in jeopardy. (And how!) A raven comes from King’s Landing calling them out from Queen Cersei and she takes a moment to think on how and why Cersei made all the horrible decisions in her miserable life.

Sansa Stark beautiful queen


Speaking of… Cersei is getting a little reno done back in KL: a new map of the world in her private courtyard. She’s still pretty cocky even without her metal epaulettes and neck chain, and then Jaime drops a little knowledge: Yeah, they may have enemies surrounding them, but people won’t flock to support those who they perceive as the losing side. And the Lannisters? Well, well, well, for once they look to be the losing side.

Cersei: I’m the queen of seven king–
Jaime: Three. Three kingdoms at best. I think you’re drunk on power and forget how to math?
Cersei: I also forgot I have no heirs.
Cersei: No. I see it as betrayal, though? Also, Revealio of my age: I’m 40.
Laura: OH HO HO, GIRL WHAT FACE CREAM YOU BUYING, asking for a friend.
Cersei: Also I paid attention to Pop and his strategizing, even though he thought I was stupid.
Laura: You kind of were. ….did I say that out loud? Cersei, don’t kill me.

Cut to: DRAGON SQUID SHIPS. I want to write a thousand words about the squid ships. They are magnificent. They are gorgeous. They are build off Spanish Galleys, and they’re so wonderful to behold, even though they’re Greyjoy/Euron/Braggart dunderhead-owned. Looks like he got his 1,000 ships, and wow, they are so beautiful. (Side note: I’m super lusty about Age of Sail stuff. It’s awesome. Euron… not so much.)

Euron Greyjoy Kings Landing

Least Interesting Pirate. He looks like a ferret. Get this bassist OUT OF MY BAND.

Not awesome: Cersei hinting that she’s going to bone Euron. Even weirder, when Jaime reminds Euron that he’s an upstarting PoS who exists to stir the pot and profit, Euron is all smiles. “Yep! That’s me! And by the way, I loved watching you fight and kill my family. Fun stuff! No, really, I enjoyed that. I’m also the greatest captain in all the seas.”

Cersei: [yawns] But what do you want? It’s wine o’clock. Chop-chop.
Euron: A pretty wedding with you, and your dress’s train will be 22 feet long, because Lady Diana’s was 20. Also note that I have two hands. [looks at Jaime]
Jaime: Bitch says WHAT?
Euron: WHAT. Yeah. I get the joke. I’m the master of the single entendre.
Cersei: That’s a soft no.
Euron: …that’s not a hard no. Know what is hard?
Cersei: Burying all three of your children, pulling off the genocide of half the town and all the religious wonks, usurping the throne, and being forced to listen to you insult my brother-lover?
Euron: Erm… Let me fetch you a gift, maybe firm that up to a yes.

$10 bucks it’s Tyrion’s soft, dry cock? (Don’t take it, it’s also a Sucker’s Bet.)

Cersei Lannister Kings Landing

“Bored now.” Cersei? This is a problem of your own making. OF YOUR OWN. MAKING. Just keep drinking and let the sane people talk.

Back at the Citadel, we see that it’s not all book learning and knowledge harvesting. Instead, it’s more bedpan clearing and shit dumping, and Sam, you have suffered enough. SAMWELL TARLEY: YOU KILLED A WHITE WALKER. YOU DESERVE BETTER. (But the montage they shot is hilarious of bedpans and gruel and books and grunting and hahahaha. That was a magnificently awful montage.)

Sam can see the Restricted Section, however, and without an invisibility cloak, who knows how he’ll gain access to learn how to defeat the White Walkers?? (I want you to know that I write these as I watch, and I didn’t know it was honestly called the Restricted Section, and I’m laughing as the Maester tells Sam he’s not eligible. Where is Samwell’s McGonagall with a permission slip and a Time Turner? …Sam is Hermione here, we all get that, right?)

Something I freaking love, as a non-book reader. Look, I love the show. But you and I both know there’s more information IN the books than there is within the show. It’s the nature of the medium. When the Maester who’s training Sam in body organ weights explains how the folks at the Citadel aren’t like the others in Westeros or Essos, that they serve as the memory of humanity, it’s a good reminder that these people have sworn a sort of pledge to impartiality. You and I know there’s no time for it, but they don’t. It’s frustrating. The cold analytical side of academia often is. But I did appreciate the reminder that it’s an element to humanity, as was shown here.

But also, oh my god, let Sam read the Big Boy books.

The beauty of being a Constant Reader/Watcher: We’ve understood that this is the Ultimate Boss Battle coming soon. We’re told over and over, “Never in a thousand years, never a ____ since 1,000 years prior,” and if you read The Princess Bride, (and you absolutely should, it’s a marvelous book), the whole point of 1,000 years is that it’s the time of Change. It’s frustrating in a delicious, tension-building way, to be reminded that we’re at that turning point. And this man doesn’t get that. And that it seems only Samwell, in a land of learned, sign-seeking men, truly understands the gravity of the situation, which is befitting for this sort of story.

Theory: Sam is going to ruin his chance at his chain but will save the world. It’s the GoT equiv of Krum catching the Snitch, but Ireland winning the Cup. #NerdAlert

Cue: Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Sign Your Name” and hit the slo-mo. Why? Because Gjördkr the Pêrv Nømmër, previous known as Gjördkr the Chîcken Eåter, then Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër but for new folks coming along, I’m talking about Tormund, Gjördkr has his eye on Brienne as she soundly defeats Pod in hand-to-hand combat. I don’t care about Littlefinger flirting with Sansa, that’s how much I love what’s happening in the yard. (I totally care and I hate Littlefinger, and oh, did we ever talk about Baelish’s hair resembling the markings of a mockingbird? Because THEY DO. Dammit, Baelish insists on stealing attention, and I hate him.) Brienne, however, shows up and shuts him down. Brienne: Ultimate Wingman.

BUT HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. Arya, on horseback, is making her way to… who knows where. And Ed Sheeran is on  the show? Singing??

Ed Sheeran Game Thrones


And she’s as shocked as I am that people in Westeros know another song. (I’m mostly shocked by a pop star popping up, but eh.) Edit: it seems Sheeran left SM because of backlash, and I now feel bad for making jokes about him popping up, even though I stand by my “What?” reaction. I didn’t hate it though.

hese guys seem a decent lot, and if I may quote The Princess Bride (just read the book, it’s brilliant), “You seem a decent man. I hate to kill you.” Oh, she’s not actually killing anyone this time? She’s getting that under control? Good girl, you’re growing up, my little murder teen!

She gathers that even though they’re Lannisters, they don’t follow blindly. They really are super decent dudes. They want to go home. They want to be with their families. They want to love and raise their children. But Arya still has her list… and Cersei’s at the top.

Question: on a scale of one to invading Russia The North in the Winter, how bad is this idea of trying to assassinate Cersei?

It appears the Hound has taken up with the Brotherhood–best way to keep a regular meal, I suspect–and he’s bitching about it the whole way, because he’s the worst tagalong in Westeros, hahah. There’s a real lack of roast chickens in his life now, and he’s bitter about it. He also doesn’t understand why Beric keeps getting a redo on life. Clegane has a pretty damn insightful look into humanity, reality and fairness, but that’s not how the Lord of Light operates, he’s told.

(Me: Religion is a pox of contradictions and injustices, but okay.)

The Hound actually looks into the flames and is visibly shocked. He sees a wall of ice. “The” Wall. It’s… real, the whole looking into the flames thing? Huh. Clegane also sees an upcoming siege at one of the Castles at the Wall. (Oh no, the castle the Wildlings, aka Gjördkr was assigned to protect?!?) He’s as shocked as I am.

IF TORMUND…. Dammit, not even going to say it.

While everyone sleeps, Sandor digs a grave for the bodies they found along the way—the man and child he robbed when he was with Arya–because Sandor Clegane is a fucking Good Guy now, thanks to Ian McShane. He’s responsible for their death in many ways and tries to right that wrong. Old Sandor would argue that they were responsible for their own death by not being smart enough to avoid being robbed.

I do love that when we go back to the Citadel we see that Gilly is there with Sam, because I was super worried about her. Awesome: Gilly’s reading has vastly improved. She wants to help because she’s a delight. (I will hear NOTHING BAD about Gilly!) And OH HO HO. It turns out that the whole island of Dragonstone is Dragonglass!! He immediately writes a letter to Jon, because YES. SHARE INFORMATION.




Jorah Mormont Grey Stone

OH NO OH NOOOOOO Jorah, your Khaleesi commanded you to HEAL THYSELF and you just better do it, Mister! [knuckles away tears]

While Sam is cleaning up bedpans and dirty dishes,  JORAH “THROATILY REPLIED” MORMONT IS IN A CELL WANTING HIS KHALEESI AND I AM GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS. His entire forearm is covered in Greyscale, first of all. D: <– my face

Secondly, we cut to Dany staring at her home land as they sail up on Dragonstone, and she’s weepy eyed and excited and the dragons are soaring and happy and AHHHHH. BABY GIRL CAME HOME. Uh, those entry gates are awesome, one. Two, everyone is wearing black now, from Dany and her gang to Cersei, did you notice?

Dragonstone Game of Thrones

AHHHHH!!! This is a gorgeous mat-shot. Much cooler look at this place than we got with Stannis. [spits]

Also, this was the first real inkling of the scope and size of Dragonstone (appropriate), and it’s magnificent. Part of me thought: Screw King’s Landing. Stay here! This place is more kick ass. But then, that isn’t the point of the show, I guess? But man. Dragonstone is bad ass.

“Shall we begin?”

Dany looks upon the map table and if I may, maybe get Theon on a little Lysol action over there, because Bad Things Occurred on that table, and Fire Crotch Mage probably still has the indent of the Islet of Baratheon on her hip… [gag]

Look. I’m all in on a Dany rules most of the Kingdoms, Jon/Sansa tag team the North, they combine forces to destroy the White Walkers. Will I get this? I’m sure not, but man, I waaaaaaant.

I am so glad we’re all back to flail together. SO. GLAD. Oh, just if you want, you can follow me on Twitter to keep up-to-date on recaps and sundries, and allow me to point out to new folks that we have a Very Robust and Awesome comment section here. Join in! But the HARD RULE IS: no book talk! BE COOL. That’s why the comment section here is awesome.


(Next episode: STORMBORN!)

Please like & share:
  • “I’m just super worried about Bran being marked by the Night King on his
    forearm, and him going through the Gate and that making it so the Army
    of the dead can move past the wall. Did we ever determine if that was a
    thing on the show? We didn’t yet, right? That’s a mystery still to be

    I remember dead uncle Benjen commenting on spells in the wall protecting it. There were spells on the cave too. So I’d say we’re on THIN ICE here for sure.

    • Right, due to the spells in the cave no longer functioning now that Bran has been marked… MEEP! BRAN, DON’T LEAD THEM IN. (I fear he’s done just that, though.)

      I don’t think we’ll get a Stark Civil War, either, honestly. I think they’re brother and sister bickering, too.

      • dustfan

        If Benjen is on the “right” side I don’t think he would let Bran go through the Wall if it would remove the magic. I think the Wall’s magic
        is much stronger than the magic on the 3 eyed ravens cave. I think the Wall will come down somehow but not because of Bran. Besides he already has enough things to blame him for, he doesn’t need that as well (crossing fingers and hoping but not really believing because this is GoT after all).

        As for Jon and Sansa, yeah the pack is sticking together.

        • But maybe Benjen doesn’t know! Maybe no one can know but the 3ER and the NK! But I do like you saying Bran has enough on his shoulders (Hodor, #NeverForget)

  • Suzanne Corbell Gert

    I have soooo missed your recaps. “Bored now!” Heh. I loved your whole illuminated conversation between Cersei, Jaime and Euron.

    That opening may have been the best moments of TV ever.

    We were driving to work this morning and I said, “Oh, look, Laura’s already got her recap posted. Wow!” Eddie: “Eh. Other than the Freys and Euron/Cersei, not much happened.” Me: Agree to disagree — Dany finally arrived in Westeros!” Eddie: “Woo. Yeah, that’s why I watch the show, the arrivals and departures.” :D

    The pooh-poohing Mr. Gert aside, I thought this episode was fabulous. Also props to “throatily replied.”

    • Eddie didn’t think anything HAPPENED?! SQUID SHIPS. JORAH. LEARNING. BEDPANS. DANY CAME HOME. I mean!!!!

      Jorah’s throaty responses are solely responsible for half the world’s population needed Plan B, I’ve decided.


  • magnusk_98

    Hey, Laura. :) Good to see you back! I thought the first episode took it kinda slow, to re-introduce the viewers to what happened last season. But of course you cannot keep up the insane pace of last seasons closer.

    Since this episode was mostly set-up for what will follow later, I don’t actually have all that much to say. Little Lyanna Mormont was awesome, as always, and Thormund and Brienne is totally a thing. :D

    Peace out and I’m looking forward very much to your recaps in the weeks to come. :)

    • Hi hi!! Oh, it makes me so happy to see familiar faces every season.

      I quite enjoyed the set up, personally, but then, I always do. Ahahaha. This is a world I want to roll around in, and since it’s been gone for a while, I found the pace and the detail very satisfying.

      I’m so glad I’m reconnecting with you guys! I think we’re in for a treat this season, honestly. I think we’re getting more and more payoff on our investment.

  • Tiffany

    So my freak out moment was when the Hound was looking into the flames and actually saw something. I was freaking out that he saw something and what does this mean : 1. is the magic in the world JUST that strong right now; 2. was his aversion to Fire and respect/reverence/fear of fire actually a form of worship that the R’Hollor was okay accepting ORRRRR 3. Is shyt about to hit the fan so much that R’Hollor is like “Anybody, everybody..please just look into my flames randomly and I’ll give you a vision, yous gonna need help STAT..”?
    Thoughts on 1, 2, or 3?
    I like that the Jon/Sansa dynamic hasn’t been reduced to sibling rivalry and is more BOTH of them have good points, which option will be best served currently, yaknow. I have to say I kinda agreed with Sansa here. And when she stopped Petryr from getting the last word ‘I’m sure you were going to say something pithy..
    Euron and Cersei feeding off of each others paranoia?DELISH..

    • Oooooh, I like the idea that magic is becoming stronger and that’s why Sandor can see in the flames! That’s a great idea. They all are, but that hits me in the “THIS MAKES SENSE” box.

      I loved Sansa shutting Baelish down. LOVED. IT.

      • Jaeherys

        This is actually a thing. You don’t get it as much about it from the show as in the books, but the death of dragons in past centuries weakened magic. Since the rebirth of dragons, magic has been getting stronger as the dragons themselves have grown. So, you can thank Daenerys for this one.

        • LIKE THIS. “You don’t get it as much about it from the show as in the books” so just… My pals at have book posts and they’re great! If you need to talk about the books, they’re the place! Just please be cognizant moving forward over here.

          • Jaeherys

            I didn’t think it would be verboten to use the books’ info to illuminate something that had become obvious enough in the show to be commented upon.

    • Anthony Gitto

      Ohh I like the idea of R’Hollor accepting fear of fire as a form of worship!

    • Lanie

      The way I see it poor beloved Sandor has been searching for something for a long time. Coming back to the farm and seeing the farmer and his daughter dead just reaffirmed his belief that life is crappy. As his sad face looked into the flames R’Hollor showed him what he needed to see – he needed something to believe in. Que the 1990 song from Poison….

  • Colleen

    Laura!!!! We’re back and it’s amazing!

    Just like Christopher said, I’m feeling fairly certain that Bran “I ruin everything for everyone” Stark just totally hosed Westeros. Especially because there’s no one there to hold the door now. #neverforget

    Lyanna. That child. If she had dragons this show would have lasted only one season.

    Here’s my question regarding Ser Jorah of House Friendzone… is he actually getting better at the Citadel? Because that arm looks much, much worse. How does grayscale fit in with the Long Night? I feel like that’s important somehow. Great recap as always!!

    • HELLO!!! I’m so excited to see you guys!!

      I really think Bran has opened the door, dammit, and it’s TERRIFYING.

      I don’t think Jorah’s getting better. I think he’s a guinea pig for some researcher, honestly. :( I have NO CLUE how greyscale and the Long Night intermingle, and man. I need to go back and watch the Volantis (? I think?) episode where Jorah contracts it to remind myself of all the danger/horrors!


      • Lyanna Mormont

        Let’s hope there’s no mad scientist at the Citadel looking to release an apocalyptic plague on the 7K…

      • Jaeherys

        Historically, the two are not related. The Long Night happened eons ago. Grayscale is said to have first appeared as part of a curse by a Rhoynish prince (ie, the ancestors of the Dornish, before they came to Westeros) in the face of conquest by the then-expanding Valyrian Empire. So, all of this happened in the distant past, in that it was before the Doom of Valyria. But, the Doom and Garin’s curse were on the measure of centuries in the past, while the Long Night was on the order of some millenia ago.

        • Okay, PLEASE remember that we’re only discussing things that have aired ON THE SHOW. You’ve got a couple of comments here and there with clear book knowledge, and I”m begging you to stick to things that are ONLY SAID on the show. It’s really easy to slip and drop information that becomes a spoiler to those of us who haven’t read the books, so I bring this up before that happens.

          Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? THANKS!

          • Jaeherys

            Okay, fine: No further historical information, despite the fact that it is purely historical and gives away nothing as to what might happen, either in book or show. I will cease further commentary since it is apparently unwelcome.

            • Oh, yeah, that’s totally going to be for the best. Check out sites like where you can talk down to people all day long without spoiling any of the fun here. Cheers!

  • Anthony Gitto

    Ohh how I’ve missed this! Thank you Laura for continuing the tradition. I’m glad we’re back!!!

    My high level observancesthoughts:
    I’m really Glad that the Size of the people Arya is impersonating is relatively the same… Cause that MaskFalse face thing aint gonna fool ANYONE if she’s impersonating a normal sized person.

    That Frey wife had to have been onto it already… She probably hadn’t been groped and violated for the time it took to call all the Freylets back to the Twins. Had to have felt like a vacation to her.

    Seriously it was cool to see the zombies on the move and such, but I want to know their politics!! Are they single minded on the slow inexorable march to Eastwatch, (which seriously, from Hardhome shouldn’t have taken that long for troops that don’t need to wait on supply lines) or are other Others arguing for new tactics?

    Meera had help for a large chunk of the way back…. Undead Uncle Benjen and his undead horse saved them a ton of distance but she still had to drag him from the Weirwood they got dropped off at (S6Ep6 ‘Blood of my blood’ and confirmed by the official Wiki to ensure I could cite it.) She’s DEFINITELY still a badass though. Did I imagine her giant sized eyeroll when TWO men stepped up to drag the sled through the wall?

    I absolutely LOVE that a Female Mormont, a House that has been known for female fighters, (Including Lady Maege, Lyanna’s mother who died for Robb Stark) is the one who tells Lord Glover to sit down, Women will fight if he wants it or not.

    As a variation of Christopher’s previous comment, I am wondering if Sansa is playing devils advocate in public as a tactic to provide dissidents another Stark to approach instead of having to defect? I think that it would be a sound tactic, and I personally think that she is smart enough to not confront her brother like that otherwise. Hopefully her and Jon keep that public schism going while including her in his council talks for once. She is beautiful and formidable… you NEVER want a smart woman on your bad side, especially with a Littlefinger supportingmanipulating her!

    I should have seen Cersei reaching out to Euron coming, but DAMN their families have been fighting each other so long I just couldn’t… Yikes that’s a scary pairing!

    I can’t wait for the rest of the comments to come in!!!!!!

    • HEYYYYY!! So good to see you, too!

      Oh I can’t imagine anyone argues with the Night King about tactics! He’s probably got a mental lock on everyone and makes them do his bidding–just me?

      I don’t know about Sansa and the Devil’s Advocate angle, although I like the way you’re thinking. My instinct was she was reacting out of frustration and hadn’t considered the ramifications of arguing with Jon in public… just as he hadn’t considered the ramifications of making decisions without discussing them with her privately, as well.

      So glad you guys are back! ROBUST COMMENT SECTION: ENGAGE! :D


    I wondered if it was a flashback initially as well, and then OH HO HO, THAT WALDER FREY SEEMS AWFULLY UN-WALDER FREY-LIKE.

    And I'm actually sad for Jaime that he never gets to really delight in his children with their mother… and now he never will. D:

  • Awwww, you’re so kind! I’m so glad to have my crew back to enjoy the show!

  • PorkPie

    Hey Laura,

    Did you get my first comment? It said it needed to be approved and I didn’t see it here, so was just checking.

    • I don’t see it in the queue, weird! I’ve cleared your IP and email so you shouldn’t need to do anything further, but sorry for that!

      • PorkPie

        Darn, that’s too bad – I didn’t save it so I will try to recollect :)

        First and foremost, I have MISSED YOU and this show!! So happy to have your recaps again every Monday! Welcome back!! :)

        I think the dynamic between Sansa and Jon is so good – love how familial it feels. They are both so wise in their experience, and are now learning what it’s like to work together with that wisdom. I really look forward to seeing more of that.

        My heart for Gregor Clegane! I am so excited to keep seeing his journey. And some of the stuff people have been saying about the fire is really turning my gears.

        I am SO on board for more Gjördkr the Pêrv Nømmër! Bring it all in his leaving a rat, extra helpings of stew, notes written with urine in the snow, heart eyes met with scowls and eyerolls, gleeful snippets of conversation here and there way!

        I had a quip about my late-night-watching surprise at Ed Sheeran, but I can’t remember, lol. It was funny. I said it. :)

        And I SO clutched my pearls when I saw that greyscale arm, and thought of you, the wailing heard round the world. There has got to be some gorgeous, Citadel women-impregnating, silky-bearded, bedroom-eyes moaning coming from that man’s room, eh? :D

        #NeverForget #ICryForHodor

        • I just snorted lemonade into my sinuses at your list of ways Gjördkr might woo Brienne. AHAHAHAHA.

          IF JORAH MORMONT FAILS IN HIS QUEST I AM GOING TO BE SO BROKEN HEARTED. I just love him and his gorgeous voice. Him and Beric in one episode with those dulcet voices?! #passesout

          • Lanie

            My darling Sammy has discovered that there is dragonglass on Dragonstone. Now he needs something else to do. Somewhere in those books he stole has GOT to be the info on what cured sweet Princess Shireen. Find it Sammy!! Dany needs Jorah back ASAP!!

        • Anthony Gitto

          I love those Tormund ideas!! Mentally I also see him setting up a bear skin rug (maybe from THE bear?) next to the practice yard and cheering her on while sipping mead from a gigantic horn and fluttering his eyelashes.

          • Andy Street

            Not THE bear, surely? As in, his ex? That would be completely inappropriate…

          • PorkPie

            OMG, so much yes!!

            • Lanie

              Brienne and Tormund need to be together. That man has wanted her from first sight. Please oh please let them hook up and have beautiful ginger blue eyed babies! I think this show needs way more love. Honestly I would love to see Tormund’s idea of it, especially if it anywhere near your suggestions ;)

          • Lanie

            Agreed! I laughed so hard at those! Oh please not THE bear!

  • Ana G

    Yay recaps! So, one of my favorite things here is that the Jaime/Cersei relationship, literally one of the fundations of the show has been slooooowly crumbling (their development going in diff directions, BRIENNE, the deaths of their family and kids) and now Jaime’s just: Babe you’re kinda delusional. And whytf are you hanging with Pirates?! It’s gonna end so badly, I can feel it and I can’t wait to see it.
    I loved Jim Broadbent’s (I don’t think we got his character’s name, also I’m calling him Jim Broadbent regardless) monologue, even though I said the same thing you said: this is clear foreshadowing that that Wall is coming down.
    In the past Stannis and his wife had been able to fire read on the show, but I get that was not 100% reliable given their fanaticism. Also also I love Thoros and his top knot and his dynamic with Beric (no love for his awesome voice? Jorah’s deserves mention ofc, but Beric’s is also excellent). I also love that when asked Beric didn’t go the ~Lord works in mysterious ways~ route, just: idk man, I know as much as you.
    Glad you’re back :)

    • Hello!

      Oh, I love the point you make about the foundational aspect of Jaime/Cersei crumbling. So right!

      I don’t think we got the character name, either, but I believe he’s just called “Archmaester?” I could be wrong. But it’s like the NUMBER ONE RULE OF HORROR MOVIES: don’t say “What could go wrong?” You just jinxed it, Archmaester with the whole, “The Wall has always stood, and will continue to do so.””

      TROMBONE NOISE, White Walkers pop up with a “Who me?” grin and shrug, AND THEN DEATH.

      Oh my goodness, I mentioned how it was CRUEL for my poor old lady heart to be inflicted with not only JORAH’S voice but BERIC’S, and yes yes, too much. TOO MUCH.

      I’m so happy to see you back, as well!

      • Ana G

        The thing about the (completely on point) horror movie ref, is that we the audience HAVE SEEN IT. We saw the GIANT ZOMBIES. But other than Jon and few others no one else has, and from their point of view it’s not important. Ofc Sansa is just: Jon, the MONSTERS down south matter more than MAYBE zombies. So we the audience are stuck screaming “nooooo don’t split up in the creepy house” so to speak.
        Also, re: Jaime/Cersei, I think it was here (in the comments somewhere) that someone pointed out that since Cersei’s arc is basically The Mad King, But A Queen This Time, they might be setting up Jaime to do a little more Kingslaying. And I gotta be honest that would be pretty excellent television.
        (Very glad to be back, too :)

        • I think you’re spot on, honestly. SPOT. ON.

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Ah, but – to paraphrase Margaery (sob) – is he an Archmaester, or THE Archmaester?

        • Jaeherys

          He’s AN archmaester. There are several of them. IIRC, the “leader” of the Citadel is always chosen from among the Archmaesters, though.

    • Anthony Gitto

      The show Wiki names him as Archmaester Ebrose (a literary character as well.) It must have been said out loud for it to be cited there, but I don’t remember it specifically.

      • Ana G

        Wow, that’s a mouthful. Thank you for looking it up because I don’t remember it being said either, maybe just a mention in the credits is enough? Still I think I’ll just keep calling him Jim Broadbent, haha.

  • Original-S

    *flails* You are back! GoT is back! All is……OK, maybe not ALL is right with the world, but this definitely improves things! <3.

    • I AM, I AM!! And so are you!! <3 And hahaha, if only these recaps/the show could counterbalance the shit-sandwich that is Real Life… ;)

  • mrspidey80

    All those HP-references and you didn’t notice Professor Slughorn being Sam’s mentor. :(
    Also, the whole Jon vs The North Remembers thing? This reminds me of Season 7 of Buffy.
    There’s this episode where Wood tries and fails to kill Spike because Spike once killed his mother and afterwards, Buffy’s like “Dude, I’ve got a war to fight here. I don’t have time for vendettas. You try that shit again and I’ll let Spike kill you.”

    Jon is essentially Buffy here. All he sees is the big picture. And the big picture is: If the North Remembers too much, everybody dies.

    • [sour face] Those two seconds of Archmaester plus his face covered with a beard = NOPE. Also: #bookpurist OH HO, how the turntables! ;)

      Hmm, I’ll have to think on your comparison. It’s not clicking with me. I’m not sure about the North Remembering too much and what that means from your perspective? Help a girl out?

      • mrspidey80

        Well, if the North remembers too much the way Sansa wants it to. House Umber and House Karstak get antagonized further, adding nothing to the army of the living once things get hot in the north.
        Worst case, it could lead to more pointless bloodshed and loss of potential sword arms.

    • Lyanna Mormont

      … while Sansa was Right There when Ned gave Cersei the benefit of too much doubt, and died right in front of her, so she’s wary. (Oh, and the supposed Lannister allies being the ones who offed Joffrey, which is probably why she brought him up at this point.) She’s lost too many family members, been at other people’s lack-of-mercy too many times – she knows the need to secure your position.

  • Andy Street

    That was rather good, as far as first episodes go.

    Things I especially enjoyed:

    1) Cersei channelling Elizabeth I and stringing along the sleazy midlife-crisisy pirate as Jaime silently questions the life choices that led him up to this point in the background.

    2) The Grizzled World-Weary Men’s Support Group that is the Brotherhood without Banners. Jorah needs to hook up with them at some point when he’s finished getting that arm looked at.

    3) Slightly jarring Ed Sheeran cameo aside, the scene with Arya and the Lannister soldiers. Its basically just children left on all sides at this point. Arya allowing herself to finally relax and genuinely,honestly laugh along with them was a joy. It’s sad to think that these young boys will soon be facing down dragons and screaming dothraki and white walkers and giants and zombies and zombie giants though…

    Jon needs to get himself a small council. That’s where you have these kind of things out, in private, rather than in front of everyone. Maybe he can make Sansa his Master of Actually Knowing What Kind of a Show We Are In, or something.

    As usual Laura, love your enthusiasm – I almost enjoy the recap as much as the actual episode!

    • AHAHAHA, I love the Grizzled World-Weary Men’s Support Group. Jorah should be a charter member, agreed!

      I did love the Arya/young Lannister soldiers scene in the end, and for why you point out, as well: they behaved as kids their own age, the whole lot of them.

      Jon DEFINITELY needs a small council! And hahaha, Sansa’s title seems a bit cumbersome, if totally on the nose. :D

      I’m so happy to know you enjoyed the recap, too, THANK YOU!

      • Lyanna Mormont

        Jon’s Small Council:
        Lyanna Mormont
        Tormund (for the wildling perspective)
        Brienne (or make her mistress-of-arms/equivalent of Kingsguard Commander)
        Sam (if/when he returns from the Citadel)
        Bran (his ability can replace Varys’s all-knowingness)

        maybe Meera (she deserves it)

        • Andy Street

          Hah – yes, Meera can be Master of just being a really loyal friend (with surprising upper body strength).

          It just occurred to me actually if Bran and Meets are going to Winterfell – does she maybe know who Jon’s real parents are? It was her dad that was Ned’s sole surviving companion when he found Lyanna and the baby…

  • Amanda

    YAY I’m so glad you’re back! This was the first time I was able to watch the show live (thanks Dad!) and man, it did not disappoint. I loved how so much of the episode seemed designed to showcase how badass and amazing all of the female characters are. Arya killing the Freys, Sansa showing how she’s grown and learned, Dany coming home, Lady Mormont fighting for the north, even Gilly finding the dragonglass in the book and Meera dragging Bran. It definitely felt like a prologue for the action of the rest of the season, but it got me so excited to see where we’re going. With Sam sending that message to Jon about the dragonglass, and now Dany sitting pretty on top of that stash- the chess pieces are moving, and things are HAPPENING.

    And as always, another amazing recap. You have such a delightful way of breaking down the episodes and cracking me up, and these are always a highlight post episode.

    • Hi, Amanda!! Oh my gosh, I’m so excited you got to watch live! That takes a lot of pressure off re: spoilers, I know.

      Weren’t the women just stellar here? Complex, interesting, moving the story forward. (I’d say that was true for The Hound, as well.) But yes yes, Lady Mormont in particular was a standout for me as well. Gilly! Oh, I just love her sweet little Do Gooder nature. If ever there was someone who could be bitter… Yet Gilly chooses to live happy, and I just adore her for it.

      I’m so pleased to hear these recaps put a smile on your face, too! <3

    • Lyanna Mormont

      The men killed each other off in the War of the Five Kings – now the women are getting their chance to lead, to rule, to stand in the front line.

  • Charlotte bower

    Hi there, I’ve been a voyeur for the last two seasons and nearly cried this morning when I couldn’t see your new GOT post (I’m UK ????????) and scared the kids earlier when I screeched with excitement and saw the new posts. Looking forward to the next few weeks – I’ve really missed you Laura!!!

    • Charlotte, aren’t you the sweetest?! Thanks so much for the praise and I AM SO EXCITED THE SHOW IS BACK TOOOOOOOOO!

  • magnusk_98

    12.) It’s a song from the books, in regards to Tyrion and Shae. This showing up here is actually a hilarious anachronism which makes zero sense. ^^

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Yeah, I know what it is in the books. But here? It could go either way, ;)

  • Julie Martin

    Yaaay! I have missed your recaps only SLIGHTLY less than I have missed the show itself. Snort-laughing on a bus is a great way to start each week. Not much to add here, since I really think this was a table-setting episode (and it is beautifully set). One thing that does keep me raising a brow, Queen of Thorns style, is the continued lack of open conversation about Jon’s resurrection. Like during Sansa’s whole, “Be smarter than dad and Robb, so you don’t die like them!” speech, all I could think was…um….he KNOWS. He knows it better than anyone. Does Sansa just not remember (if so, HOW?), or does she not know yet? Do the other Northerners not know? In which case, why are they not upset about Jon breaking his vows? This confuses me. Even Tommen’s death got a “Are we going to talk about..NO! NEVER! WiNE!” resolution. It seems needed up North, as well.

    • Welcome back to you, too!! And ha, we usually get a “table-setting ep” (that phrase is the new Cool Descriptor, I see!) for Ep 1. I think of it as a chess board being set up for the season’s game, and this one is no different, but we need it!

      Oh, NO ONE is going to talk about Jon’s resurrection, I assume because LOL. In my darkest of hearts, I want to think it’s because it actually DOESN’T matter? There was nothing after life, according to him, and it’s going to just be TROMBONE, RELIGION! But I’m sure it’s just a mistake storytelling-wise…

  • missbeckydee

    GAH. Just wanted to say that I was just as excited for the return of these recaps as I was for the show! My Sunday nights and Monday mornings are complete. *runs off squeeing in happiness*

    • Awww, you’re too kind. But SERIOUSLY OUR SHOW IS BAAAAACK!! [does donuts in the lawn]

  • SaintsGrrl

    I was looking all over for your recap page (bad me, I didn’t bookmark it and couldn’t remember the exact name). Bless Watchers on the Wall for their list of recaps/reviews and there you were! I have nothing else to add except your grab of Euron cracks me up because I think he’s going to be the character I hate now that Ramsay is *finally* gone.

    • HELLO!! Oh, I adore the folks at WotW. I got to hang with a bunch of them this summer at Con of Thrones and they’re all just stellar. :)

      IS THAT PIC OF EURON HILARIOUS OR WHAT?! He looks like a panoramic pic gone wrong, hahahaha.

  • Okay at Con of Thrones this summer there were panels on the costuming, and I’m RIGHT THERE WITH YOU: the costumes are unparalleled on this show. So much thought goes into them, in those tiny little details casual viewers may not pick up on, but UGH. GORGEOUS.

    I’m right there with you on the poop/soup montage. HILARIOUS, and an excellent “passage of time” montage.

    WIGHT DRAGONS!??? OH HO HO. Because “fire cannot kill a dragon…” OOOOooooooooh. (I think their inherent magic will prevent their turning, because giants are a race, not a species–I believe?–but I loooooove thinking of the possibilities!)

    • Zack

      My thinking went like, ‘well, anything vs dragons, the dragons win’

      It rebalances the scales, keeps the stakes high. And imagine the drama/tears if Dany has to fight one of her babies! D:

      Plus, the Wall gotta come down for the White Walkers to come south and start their Tour of Westeros, and what better way to bring a giant 800 foot wall crashing down than dragon fire?

      But this show does love to surprise with the unconventional, so they might have something else up their sleeve!

    • Lyanna Mormont

      Costumes, casting, and music. Three Emmys that GoT should get Every. Year.

      And yep. I’ve been dreading the undead ice dragon possibility for years.

  • Lilley Berrington

    Hello Laura. This is my first time posting. I hale from South Africa, am 24-years old, and I love your writing about as much as I love the show. I’ve reread all your recaps about 50 times whilst waiting for season 7 and I crack up laughing every time. Basically, I’m a massive Laura fangirl.
    Since many people seem to do the list thing, here are my lists.

    Why I looove Laura:
    1. Humor and comments within the recaps, not just a summary.
    2. Harry Potter references.
    3. Dark Tower references!!!
    4. Not hating on Cirsei without considering how crap her life has been and her reasons.
    5. The nicknames for characters.
    6. The goodbye songs for dead characters.
    7. Whilst admitting the issues related to it, finding it possible to ship Jaime/Cirsei a little. You can’t choose who you love and all.
    8. Likes wine.
    9. Really seems to be a “cool mom” without trying.
    10. Has very interesting podcasts.

    Random observations on season 7 episode 1:
    1. Whilst some of the Arya storyline throughout the series bored me a little, since she used her fighting in the dark skills and then reclaimed her name, I’ve had chills each time I’ve seen her since and gleefully savored each epic word she has spoken. She did not disappoint in this episode; nuff said.
    2. I like that John was merciful, but damn! Its time he got off his high horse of condescension and acknowledged that Sansa isn’t speaking simply because she likes the sound of her own voice. He’s taking this king in the north thing to his head and his assumptions that Sansa is trying to undermine him when she’s trying to help him are frankly annoying. It wouldn’t kill him to listen to Sansa for a change, especially after what happened last time he didn’t.
    3. As much as I can’t help but like the Starks, their condescending attitudes do annoy me a bit. Aside from John, there’s Bran and his vague statements that nobody asked for. Ed asked how he can know that Bran says who he says he is, and Bran answers by saying something dark about the threat coming. “What, really?” says the Ed in my head. “Here I was, all this time chilling at the wall for shits and giggles and now I might have to start preparing for a war? It isn’t like I’ve faced white walkers, seen wildlings pass the wall, seen a dead man rise and heard how winter is coming from a couple of brooding Starks before you or anything!”
    4. What I’ve liked about the show all along is that they represent disability quite positively. As a disabled woman myself (blind), I’ve noticed how horribly this is usually handled. Yet, Game of Thrones provides us with a whole bunch of disabled characters, some of whom are likable and capable, and some who are not. I could write an essay on this subject.
    5. Sansa is certainly not stupid! Unlike most honorable Starks, she doesn’t write off her enemies as one-faceted bad people, but actually learns from them and tries to use the better parts of what she learned to her advantage. Seems Cirsei’s drunken lectures in season 2 didn’t completely fall through the cracks. I like that Sansa is big enough to even admire her enemy. Perhaps this is because Cirsei did show her a twisted and misguided type of kindness by trying to teach her life lessons and by helping her to get out of her engagement. Also, her “last word” zinger to Little Finger was awesome! She keeps him around because she knows she might need him in future. Seems the tables have turned in terms of the roles of player and chess piece. Another example of Sansa learning from the best and using it to her advantage.
    6. Despite the bickering, I am glad Jaime didn’t abandon Cirsei. She may have done terrible things, but she’s had a pretty crappy life overall. Pity about that dick from the Iron Islands, but I suppose she does need allies. I’m surprised Jaime didn’t react more strongly to some of those insults flung his way.
    7. What’s with Jaime’s “let’s talk about our baby boy” thing? He hardly gave a damn about his children before. There was the bonding with Mircella moments before her death thing, (which was admittedly really touching), but he seemed entirely uninterested in parenting for the majority of the series. The complete opposite of Cirsei, who he is now (not completely wrongly) blaming for Tommen’s suicide.
    8. I would like to add that I really can’t stand the Jaime/Brienne ship. Its overly highschool-rom-com-wish-fulfillment-like. As Jaime’s actor said himself, Jaime has too much history with Cirsei to give up on the only woman he has loved all his life. Brienne may have been a little in love with him, but I think that Jaime respects and cares for her as a friend. This doesn’t mean he hasn’t had moments of finding her attractive, but people need to realise that sexual attraction doesn’t equal romantic love. I also think it should be possible to portray a deep and pure friendship between a man and a woman without the whole society childishly starting to chant “x and y sitting in a tree”. On the Jaime/Cirsei relationship, I think it would be pretty poetic if he did end up killing her to save the city, and then killing himself. They came into the world together and will exit it together etc. He did say he wanted to die in the arms of the woman he loves. Afterall, I don’t think there’s a question about Cirsei dying. I reckon this might be the coolest way.
    9. I do, however, ship Brienne/Tormund, and am pissed off that John sent him away again. It seems that John and Sansa are intent on sending them on missions every time they are in the same room together for longer than five minutes. Can’t we catch a break? Please please please don’t die Tormund, so you can come back and show Brienne what its like to really be appreciated as a woman and convince her to quit falling for the wrong guys.
    10. I love that there are so many Harry Potter cast members appearing in Game of Thrones, and I can’t say I was unhappy about the appearance of Ed Sheeran with Tyrion’s song either.
    11. I’m super glad Gilly is still there with Sam, and yay for the dragonglass discovery! Aside from having to clean bedpans and avoid jump scares from people with greyscale, everything sure is coming up Sam!
    12. Oh yeah, and I’m thoroughly annoyed that Arya is headed to King’s Landing and isn’t going to reunite with John and Sansa. Sad face!
    13. Sandor’s words to the dead father and daughter were very sad and very touching. Forget Jaime; if you’re looking for a redemption arc, watch the Hound.

    Alright, so my first was a very long post. I’m incredibly excited for season 7 and I’m very happy you’re back, Laura. :-)
    PS: Apparently my significant other and I quite strongly resemble Jaime and Cirsei, so we’ve decided to stop feeling awkward about it and use it to our advantage. So we’ll be entering the costume competition as them at the next convention we attend. Would appreciate fun suggestions on how to do the golden hand thing.

    • Oh my gosh, you are too much. WELCOME TO THE COMMENT SECTION, by the way! I’m so glad you dipped your toe in!

      And can I just say that aside from this amazing list of interesting insight (and thank you for the compliments, too!), I AM DELIGHTED ABOUT THE COSTUMES WITH YOU AND YOUR S.O.!! Ahahaha, that is the best thing I have heard all day, hand’s down. I LOVE IT!

      (And I, too, think Jaime and Cersei will die together, even though it will make me sad to lose Jaime. Cersei is ready, I think, so she’ll go out and take people with her. Jaime would just go if Cersei went, my two cents.)

    • Lyanna Mormont

      First – welcome!
      Second – yes, we love Laura!
      Third – I mostly agree with you about Jaime and Brienne. It’s not a romantic love – or, well, it is, but in the sense of Arthurian romance rather than “let’s get married and have babies.” I think Jaime loves Brienne’s honor, integrity and idealism – because they’re the things he’s lost along the way. He was a young idealistic boy once, who hero-worshipped Barristan Selmy and wanted to be a perfect knight. But when he was named Kingsguard he was faced with the court of the Mad King (not a place for idealists) and then when he killed the Mad King to save the city, he was called oathbreaker and kingslayer. So he decided it was all pointless, he might as well be the monster they thought he was, and the only thing he had left was Cersei so he’d do anything for her. Brienne, on the other hand, was treated with the same kind of disdain for being a woman and a freakish one at that, taller than many men, playing with swords rather than dolls, wearing armor instead of dresses, ugly by Westerosi standards… but she held onto her ideals and didn’t let the world change who she was. Getting to know her made Jaime want to get that back for himself. He respects and admires Brienne and wants to be more like her, that’s the kind of love it is, I think. She’s his hero, in a way, his moral compass. (What Would Brienne Do?)
      Actually, now that I think about it, young Jaime’s experiences at court must’ve been kind of like Sansa’s – more or less a hostage, can’t leave, but outwardly has to pretend to be on-side with it. Joffrey vs Mad King Aerys. Life is not a song. But where Sansa has clung to what she can keep of her identity and beliefs, Jaime pretty much gave up. (And he wasn’t brought up in the best way to give him a strong moral core to cling to, either. Raised by Tywin compared to raised by Ned and Catelyn…)

  • moata

    Yaaaay. I love your recaps so much, Laura. I’ve been super busy the last few days so this is my first chance to gush. Pretty much everyone has covered the main points but here’s a couple of things anyway that stuck out for me.
    – I really liked how Euron’s jacket in the throne room scene was black with these little star cut outs and it immediately put me in mind of Cersei’s black leather “post-wildfire mass murder” gear at the end of last season, which had little diamond shaped cut outs, which was itself a callback to something Tywin Lannister wore in an earlier season. The attention to detail on the costumes and the way they’re employed to help tell us something about a character (in this case – this is a person who is looking to align himself with Cersei) just blows my mind in quiet, subtle ways.
    – Also the shade being thrown Jaime’s way in that scene was epic and even though Euron is a Grade-A douche I kind of respected him for the ballsy-ness of it. Two good hands. YOWCH.
    – Arya walking through that banquet hall past the bodies of her enemies like it twas nothing is the “slow motion walking away from an explosion behind you” of the Game of Thrones universe. Still, I can’t help thinking that all this personal vengeance using her House of Black and White faceswap skills is something she’s going to have to pay for at some point. That seems to be how things work in Game of Thrones. I don’t much like the idea of it, but that’s just the feeling I have.
    – When Arya got down off that horse to go hang with the Lannister soldiers I was heard to say in our living room “Oh, Arya interacting with other people. This usually leads to death”. Colour me pleasantly surprised.
    – Still on the topic of Arya, I like how despite the fact that they haven’t been together for a couple of seasons we got a sort of parallel story with her and The Hound in this episode. Both initially expressing no remorse for their part in the death of others (Clegane less convincingly, admittedly) but both managing to grasp back a little bit of their humanity by the end of the episode.
    – Somebody get Meera a hot bath and a shiatsu because damn, that girl must be knackered.
    – Just general squealing and delight whenever Brienne and Tormund are in a scene together. It’s really very silly but ever so enjoyable.

    • I’m so glad to see all of my familiar faces here. [hugs you tight]

      I loved the details on Euron’s jacket. Just amazing. I mean, the guy’s a pirate. There’s no real need for the costume department to put those details on it, but it just… Ugh, dreamy sigh over the clothes in this show. Oh, I love you pointing out that callback to previous outfits! I’ll have to rewatch them so I can properly marvel at your brilliance. That is outstanding.

      I personally am TERRIFIED for Arya. If she makes it to the end alive, I’ll… be shocked, honestly, I don’t WANT her to die, but the Faceless God demands a name and all that. I feel like she’s skirted death and the Faceless God is going to catch up with her eventually. (I mean, we all die, Valar Morghulis and all, but you know what I mean.)

      BRIENNE AND TORMUND. I hear all the love songs when they’re on-screen together. “I will love you so…. For aaaAAAaaalways!” Their ship name in my head is #SlowJamz

  • Scott


    It was great meeting you at Con of Thrones. Thanks again for doing these recaps. I was looking forward to reading this almost as much as I was looking forward to the premiere. Both were excellent.

    Gotta say you and I were thinking the same things in regards to Dragonstone (It looks amazing these days – they must have a bigger budget or something), Oldtown Library (first time we saw the gate I called it the restricted section and asked the people I was watching with how he would get in without an invisibility cloak), and Tormund, aka Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër….. I mean for real IF Tormund… I can’t say it either.

    • Scott!! I was delighted to meet you, too. Now you’ve signed up for the site’s comment section, stick around awhile. ;)

  • JCDavis

    HEY HEY Lady friend Laura. You are back, we are back and the gang’s all here. Loved your recap as always. Did you recognize the Archmaester as Profession Slughorn from Hogwarts? So I am referring to him as Archmaester Slughorn, in my own mind of course. Love all the Potter references….the flashbacks to the “restricted section” were flowing during the Sam parts. So many observations, only first episode of 7 and already I am chomping at my own bit!! Love that you are here and love you just as much. I wish I could have made CoT…bet is was fun. See you next week, keep up the great work! Oh and I will take NONE of your side bets, thanks all the same.

    • HELLO HELLO!!! Oh, I am so delighted to see you back!! <3

      I did recognize post-ep write up that it was Slughorn. The facial hair and all the blood distracted me from the fact. Archmaester SLughorn. "Sam, m'boy, bring me the sugared pineapple, I do so love it. Captain of the Sons of the Harpies sends me a box every season." :D

      Gosh, I am just ECSTATIC for this season. SO. DAMN. EXCITED. And you're back, so I feel complete!! <3

  • Posh66

    Hi hi hi, darling! I’ve read a bunch of S7 recaps (because I’m obsessed, yo), and yours is BY FAR the wittiest, and your comment section is BY FAR the most insightful and intelligent. This is definitely where all the cool kids hang.

    Trying not to repeat what’s already been said, I’ll add:
    1. The Hound is one of my all time favourite fictional characters, and I’m so glad he’s still around to be a cranky good guy (best quote of the ep: “I’ll tell you what doesn’t scare me, bald cocksuckers like you. You think you’re fooling anyone with that top knot? Bald cunt?.”). If he dies for real…at least I already know how I’ll feel about it haha. Hint: NOT GOOD.

    2. Sometimes I think we forget these aren’t real people, but George Martin’s fever dreams. I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t like any, not one, romantic ship in this entire series, not because the characters are flawed or whatever, but because, although I’m sure he’s a v nice man, George RR is just not deft with love stories. That’s what fanfic is for tho, am I right? He’s a genius with plotting, but if two people are alone in a room together without one of them getting stabbed, he’s shite. LOL. Hopefully the show writers will be better. For the Brienne and Tormand epic romance, I mean. Don’t crush my dreams, okay?

    3.How the heck is everything going to play out omg?? There are so many ways this could go, it’s fun to guess knowing we’ll probably be wrong. Except about the wall coming down. That’s a def yes. OR IS IT.

    • POSHY!!! I’m so happy to see you over here!! <3 <3

      I love the Hound. What a great character he is–so much to love, hate and think on. I honestly don't know how I'll feel if he dies (again–meaning, I thought he HAD!) but I know he is a freaking delight to watch every week.

      George suffers from "romance is awful, ergo, I shall make it complicated in every situation save one" thing a lot of male writers have going on. (Gilly and Sam is now the most uncomplicated & positive relationship.) I keep meaning to dip my toe into fanfic, but I wouldn't even know where to START. I don't know who I really want to ship, tbh. TELL ME IF YOU FIND ONE. Oh, Brienne and Tormund would be DELIGHTFUL.

      I TOTALLY am putting money on the wall… come tumbling down! Yeah the wall, [will] come tumbling, rumbling!

  • I always reply! (Unless someone’s being a butthead w/ spoilers OR not talking to me) Smooch!

    You know, I think there’s a new line of costume patterns out that are MARVELOUS. When fabric goes on sale at the start of the school year, that could be a great time to get supplies!

  • Richard Olsen

    She’s baaaaack…
    So is my mind, after a week long River of Lethe induced blackout. The wait was well worth it. Season 7 premier or Ms Stone’ wildly entertaining blog. Yes. I say, yes.
    Let’s cut to the chase, get to the meat of the matter. Speaking of meat, the only thing that could have made Arya’s sweet revenge even sweeter would have been a serving of that infamous pie(there was a bunch left over) to that assembled yokeldom. Gawd, that was soul satisfying…
    And I wanted to agree specifically on two of Ms Stone’s points. Yes, had you told me back in season one that that Hound, the one who had just murdered poor Mycah, would end up as a good guy, redeemed by Ian McShane, of all cult leaders, I would have told you the show had jumped the shark around Season 3. I WOULD have, but I can’t, won’t, because it works, dammit, and I’m on board with this new, improved Dog.
    Point Two: I, too, am in the League of Extraordinary Gilly Protectors. Say what you will of anyone in Westeros, but do NOT speak ill of my sweet Gilly. Sam, my man, ya got herself a keeper.
    Finally, is there any program in the multiverse with as many bad-ass female characters? I have daughters, and I am proud that they, also, would have no problem with cleaving the occasional skull. Go ahead. Pander to one of ’em. Make their day, punk…
    Once more, finally, it’s good to have y’all here. I was a rookie last year and kept my mouth pretty much shut. Never more!

    • I’m so happy you jumped in!! We’re a cool bunch. :D

      It was really satisfying to see Arya take care of the Freys and NO ONE SAID IT WAS HER. I mean, Jaime knew about it happening, but didn’t know ARYA killed them all. Damn.

      And how much do you love Gilly?? There were so many great panels at Con of Thrones, and the ones about women were awesome (and not just because I sat on them, haha.) But one thing I loved to bring up was Gilly as a role model. She arguably has had the worst life up until meeting Sam and she’s the most determined, positive thing. I love her.

      I love how interesting all the women on this show are, too!! IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME. <3

      • Jorah Sowannabe

        Being semi-non-cool, I’ve changed my nom de plume for future missives. It pretty much sums up my feelings for the character I most relate to, on so many levels. (Arya Sowannabe was a close second…)