Author Archives: Sam H.

Agent Carter 1.1: Now is Not the End & Agent Carter 1.2: Bridge and Tunnel

AGENT CARTER airs Tuesdays at 8pm on ABC

AGENT CARTER airs Tuesdays at 8pm on ABC

HEY WHAT’S UP Y’ALL. LONG TIME NO SEE. What better time to come out of my recapping hermitude than for the premiere of Agent Carter, aka SHIELD: Origins, aka HYDRA: The Prequel.

THE SHORT OF IT: yes, this show is awesome, definitely watch it. Fun, exciting, well-paced, well-written, worthy of Peggy Carter herself.

THE LONG OF IT begins, as always, under the jump!

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

1

Also, for further reading: previous recaps for Captain America: The First Avenger and The Avengers.

First, I’m gonna link to this opinion from Vulture about how Captain America is irrelevant because he’s not a grumbly jerk like Christopher Nolan’s Batman or whatever. If the only way you can enjoy a superhero is if they’re doing unheroic things and acting like an asshole, then you’re maaaaybe the most boring person in the world, and most assuredly very annoying to talk to. Steve Rogers was a breath of fresh air in a genre clogged with unpleasant dudes we would hate to know in real life, and he’s even more so in this movie–he proves you can be damaged and sad and lost and still essentially good, and complicated as a character.

There are plenty of superheroes I’d like to be, because they’ve got cool powers or money or robot suits or architectural facial hair. There’s only one superhero I want to be like, and that’s HERBIE POPNECKER, THE FAT FURY Captain America. I mean, not in the rah rah American military power way (and WOW was this a subversion of that idea), but in the way that he’s likable and stands up for others and himself, and that he inspires people to be the best versions of themselves, and he can bench a human being like it’s nothing probably. Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal Recap Hiatus

Hey, everybody, let’s huddle in and take a knee for a second.

When Laura first started this website, her goal was the systematic and devastating mind-control takeover of the human race to provide a place for people to write and talk about their favorite shows and movies, and for people who enjoyed things to come and enjoy them freely, without having to worry about writers who hated what they were writing about, or fighting with other fans. Positivity was the main goal, here, and I think she’s succeeded. This is a great place full of great, thoughtful people who really love the things they love.

This is, unfortunately, why I have to take a bit of a break from recapping Hannibal. Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 2.3: Hassun

title

Hannibal airs Fridays at 10pm on NBC

PREVIOUSLY:

HUMAN LURES! KADE PRURNELL (WHOSE NAME IS JUST RIDICULOUS IN EVERY DIRECTION) THREATENED WILL WITH EXECUTION! WILL GOT A PLASTIC TUBE JAMMED DOWN HIS INNER FLESH TUBE! HANNIBAL GOT INVESTIGATED! JACK AND KATZ ARE KINDA TEAM WILL WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT!

Okay, I’ll be honest with you–this episode bored the bejesus out of me. Like the actual bejesus. I can’t feel the lord’s love shining down on me anymore. Courtroom dramas are my least favorite dramas of every existing drama, and on episodes that are dialogue-heavy (like this one) writing about it without devolving into just retyping the script is a huge challenge. Factor these two aspects in together, and episodes like Hassun are basically a nightmare for me to recap like I usually do (i.e. very detailed).

So in the interest of me not having to put out something mediocre and forced and unfunny and you not having to read all 4500 words of that mediocre and forced and unfunny nonsense, this one episode will be done more like a review than a full recap, and just kind of touch on the parts that I was all zzzzzzz through.

Regular longwinded overemotional essay-length recaps will continue with the next episode!

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 2.2: Sakizuke

title

Hannibal airs Fridays at 10pm on NBC

PREVIOUSLY: WILL AND HANNIBAL’S FRIENDSHIP IS OUTTA THIS WORLD! BEDELIA IS TOTALLY UNDER HANNIBAL’S THUMB AND WILLING TO LIE TO PROTECT HIM! A SERIAL KILLING TAXIDERMIST IS PUTTING PEOPLE IN CIRCLES INSIDE A GRAIN SILO.

(This PREVIOUSLY is brought to you by Lectervision. Everything Is Fine And You Are In Control, Hannibal!)

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 2.1: Kaiseki

title

Hannibal airs Fridays at 10pm on NBC

HEY Y’ALL! It’s been a while! I hope you’ve been well. Me and my flower crown and my kitchen knife have been doing pretty good. Waiting patiently and DEFINITELY not eating any human fleshes. None whatsoever. Not even during ritual sacrifices to somehow speed up time to bring season 2 to us faster.

PREVIOUSLY: SEASON ONE!

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Movie Recap: Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim is in theaters now (and if it's not, something has gone terribly wrong with us).

Pacific Rim is in theaters now (and if it’s not, something has gone terribly wrong with us).

Pacific Rim is probably my favorite movie I’ve seen so far this year. Not only does it have godzillas fighting gundams, possibly THE SINGLE MOST ATTRACTIVE CAST IN RECENT MEMORY, and a really kickass soundtrack by Ramin Djawadi, I felt a strange connection with the movie that I didn’t expect but probably should have, considering Guillermo del Toro makes the movies that consistently explode my heart.

It wasn’t perfect! I’d have loved more women in any capacity (unrelated, but my personal feeling is that a majority of the jaeger pilots were female, but then everybody on the front lines kinda kept dying all the time). The diversity was great but I’d have liked a) more of it and b) for the other pilots to get more screentime and development–though I hear there’s a lot to play with in the supplementary materials and novelization, so I’ll be checking those out posthaste. But, on the whole, it’s a movie about robots punching monsters during the apocalypse that has a wellspring of emotional power and resonates very deeply with me and a lot of people I know. del Toro said he needed children to leave this movie wanting to be jaeger pilots. I am 24 goddamn years old and I left this movie wanting to be one, too.

Before we get started, it is UTTERLY NECESSARY to talk about the 4th-string jaeger meme that cropped up .02 seconds after someone realized that the awesome Jaeger Creator doesn’t allow cussing, but can’t figure out where the cusswords are if you combine them. So you can’t call your jaeger Fuck Shit, but you can call it Shitbitch B. Fucknards with no problem. It really fosters a sense of creativity, and that’s beautiful (here are my contributions).

ANYWAY LET’S HOP IN OUR GIANT ROBOTS AND GO INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN CLICK THE CONTINUE LINK BECAUSE THERE ARE NO GIANT ROBOTS AND OUR LIVES ARE ULTIMATELY SMALL AND SAD BECAUSE OF IT. :(

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 1.13: Savoureux

title

Hannibal airs Thursdays at 10pm on NBC

The proper French pronunciation of savoureux is actually save yourself.

PREVIOUSLY: [all of us collectively singing “danny boy,” crying with snot]

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 1.12: Relevés

title

Hannibal airs Thursdays at 10pm on NBC

i can’t do this anymore

PREVIOUSLY: will graham happened so much.

The next recap is just going to be a photo of me going into the polar bear enclosure at the zoo wearing a meat crown and crying a lot because I have nothing left. NOTHING.

Continue reading

Please like & share:

Hannibal 1.11: Rôti

title

Hannibal airs Thursdays at 10pm on NBC

The name of this episode is really appropriate because my heart is actually roasting, just like Will’s horrible feverish traitor of a body, and Hannibal’s liar liar fucking pants that are on fire. ONLY TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT.

PREVIOUSLY: Dr. Chilton oozed everywhere; Eddie Izzard was emphatically NOT the Chesapeake Ripper; our (and Jack’s) sweet baby agent Miriam Lass got murdered/dismembered; Will and Alana got to first base the dugout; Will is just ALL fucked up with the brain inflamins; and Hannibal’s hiding it from him.

Continue reading

Please like & share: