Previously! But let’s talk about this episode…
I’M SORRY WAS THAT AN HOUR? That wasn’t fourteen hours?!? How am I supposed to condense FORTY-SEVEN HOURS OF ACTION (#feltlike) INTO A POST? GIVE ME A SECOND.
I said: GIVE ME A SECOND I AM VERKLEMPT
We open in Dragonstone and Dany’s Small Council meeting. We’re reminded that EV-RY-BO-DY HAAAAAATES SIS. Cercei, that is. Her army is dwindling. Dany, however, is trying to take a more measured approach (for the first time, hey-hey! She’s… been rash in the past).
Side note: WHO IS CARVING THE GAME PIECES? She has some kewl dragon pieces for her team. I assume there’s some dude in Oldtown jacking up his prices after every battle. #SmallBusinessGoals Continue reading
PREVIOUSLY! OH HEY ANYTHING GOOD ON TV RECENTLY? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I’M STUCK IN CAPSLOCK I’M JUST SOOOOOO
Oh, whoops. I actually had the capslock button engaged on my laptop, sorry for that. Ahem. Hi! So… pretty boring intro for the season, right?
THAT IS A DIRTY DAMN LIE, THE DIRTIEST I EVER TOLD. Ooooooh my gosh, you guys, I have been waiting for this show! And you! And it’s been 84 years since Cersei blew up half the damn city because she is the worst, most petulant mother-in-law in history, and I’m just so overcome right now to have more story?
Aaaaand consider this your obligatory reminder that I am Unsullied. I have not read the books, I have promised not to read the books until the show is over, I’m incredibly Spoiler-Phobic (waves a hello to new readers I met at Con of Thrones) and I will not brook book discussion on this site. Really wanting to split hairs about that sort of thing? I highly recommend my pals at Watchers On The Wall for that. But here, talk about the SHOW ONLY, and keep it to aired episodes. Please and thank you, A Girl has No Chill. [forehead kisses] Continue reading
GUYS!! I’ve been invited to be on a few panels (6) at the upcoming Con of Thrones in Nashville, TN, this weekend of June 30th- July 2nd. From the Con App:
GET THE CON OF THRONES APP. (iTunes or Android)
a) It’s free
2) It’s sortable by speaker, presenter, topic and other info
banana) You can sort by ME and the panels I’m on! (Think Women, Gender, and hahaha, SPOILERS IN FANDOM, hey hey)
COME SEE ME! I don’t bite! I would love to talk with you, get excited about you, do the Monica Gellar “I KNOW!!!” excitable thing. GUYS I AM ON A PANEL WITH BAD BOOB SUCKER LYSA ARRYN TALKING ABOUT MOTHERHOOD. […points you to:]
I AM EXCITE AND HAPPY AND IT’S ALMOST HERE AND I’M ALMOST THERE AND oh crud, I need to pack!!
Get me drunk and I might filk/recite all the memorial songs/poems BUT NOT THE ONE FOR HODOR IT IS STILL TOO PAINFUL.
In conclusion: YAAAAAAY!
[Previously!] Jon was reborn through the Army-Vag, Sansa took care of business, Bolton died a fitting death, Dany and Yara eye-boned like the world wasn’t coming to an end, Cersei creeped closer to losing her gott-damn mind, and Arya got out of her promise to the House of Black and White. I think. Yeah? Yeah.
The moment we’ve been waiting all season for! Well, kind of. We all kind of remember Loras, right? Erm…
AND NOW… [crams fists against mouth] JUST CLICK. (Remember: I AM UNSULLIED. NO BOOK TALK. I have also been waterboarded by Cersei’s wine glass it seems…)
I HATE THIS PERSON (the character–the actor is so freaking awesome) WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. EFF YOU RAMSAY BOLTON.
[Previously] [Unhappy Part Two] Well, this was an exciting week. I won’t belabor the point (you can always click back to catch up and please note that the particular issue I’m referring to is handled and done) but I’ll say that THERE IS TO BE NO BOOK TALK HERE. You have the whole damn internet for it. You just do not have my website. It’s been borderline lately, and you guys know it. Lots of minutiae in the comments that is CLEARLY book stuff. Some of you want to really get into fine details from the books in comments, and I’m telling you right now: KNOCK IT OFF. Talk about the show, talk to each other, but leave the books and most importantly SPOILERS out of the discussion. Thanks ever so.
[deep breath] RAMSAY BOLTON CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS? YES? CAN WE? CLICK, OH MY GOD, AND HOLD MEEEEEEEE. Continue reading
WE ARE JUMPING RIGHT INTO THINGS. Continue reading
NEPHEW OF BLACKFISH, MARRIED INTO FREYS… ‘MEMBA HIM? #TMZ #doesanyonecareaboutEdmureTully #spoiler:APPARENTLYNOT
[Previously!] Hey there! We’re jumping straight into it, both the recap and the show, evidently, so there’s your warning. Also: NO INTRO?!? Instead of my familiar sweeping game board, it’s Ian McShane (!!) leading the construction of… who knows this early but HOLD THE DAMN PHONE. THE HOUND ISN’T DEAD?! The Hound? HE IS ALIVE.
Okay, this season is throwing out the old playbook. Instead of the characters we’re most interested in dying, SOME OF THEM ARE TURNING UP ALIVE. Glory Be! And oh, okay, there’s my intro, and it’s almost anti-climactic after that shocker. (But I clapped and hummed along, because of course I did. Are you new?! Wait…are you?)
HI, NEW PEOPLE. I am Unsullied. We take it seriously here. No book talk. You literally have everywhere else, but this place is Show Only because you guys get to laugh at how emotional I get. WHEE! (No seriously, it’s fun. I get super emotional; it’s totally ridiculous.) Continue reading
Hey, Bran! Hope it was worth it. I JUST HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, KID. [gross sobbing]
] Hey there! Still sobbing and aching where my heart once was every time I see “Hold the door,” how about you??? Welcome to our group counsel. Donuts and coffee in the back.
[PREVIOUSLY] Guys, this is going up early. I’ll catch typos and put more images in after I’ve had a good, hard cry. YOU KNOW WHY. Not saying above the cut to spare anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.
LOOK AT THESE CREEPY FOREST ATRONACHS.
Good hell, this season just. Gets. Better. Warning: EMOTIONS AHEAD. Also: EPIC POETRY FOR THAT ONE CHARACTER. (Stick to show talk, not book talk, I’m Unsullied, etc etc., thankee sai.) Also, for any new folks: I literally have a few glasses of wine and watch the show, writing as I watch. Fun! Continue reading
[Previously!] GUYS. Remember how some folks were thinking the show would dip down in storytelling and energy? Ha. HA HA HA. Nope! It just gets better and better. This episode was all about families reuniting (kind of) and what was amazing for me, a woman who has watched the women of this show be abused in the most horrific of ways, was how once again, the women told the men, “Chin up” and “Just sit back. I got this.” Nope, I’ll never get enough of that. Let’s get to it, because there is a LOT.
Obligatory reminder that I am Unsullied. Don’t give me that horse pucky about “But we’re all past the books” because everything in the books is not on the show, and no one likes a show off, okay? Don’t flex your book knowledge here for you shall make me sad. It’s funny to watch me guess and flail, right? Right! Show talk only, please and thank you. Continue reading