All bad things come to an end.
Category Archives: Redemption Corner
This penultimate episode is called “Granite State”, which is the nickname of New Hampshire. Know what New Hampshire’s motto is? “Live free or die”, which is also the name of the first episode from this season. Vince, you master crafter, you. In other news, “Live free or die” is Walt and Jesse’s new motto as well. CRINGE.
In case you were wondering, the title of the Episode, Ozymandias, refers to a poem of the same name about an ancient, long-forgotten king who had the hubris to think he and his empire were invincible. Oh God. ::dons helmet and other protective gear:: Let’s watch this, bitch!
All those bad things you feared and hoped and dreaded and anticipated happening as Breaking Bad marched toward its series finale? Now they’re starting to happen. ::has Ativan and Captain Morgan at the ready::
Hark, who are those unlikely heroes appearing on the horizon? Why it’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, come to save the day. And by “Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy”, I of course mean “Hank and Jesse”. Wait, what now?
This week on Breaking Bad: Walt enjoys his retirement from the meth industry by spending more time with his children and volunteering at the local SPCA so he can help abandoned kittens. Hahahaha. Just kidding.
Before we get started on our prayer circle, I would like to say how unhappy I am with myself for missing the MOST PERFECT OPPORTUNITY last week to have said, “I’m in UR base, killing UR d00dz.” I feel a deep shame for this, and I ask your forgiveness.
I’m just kidding, I’m still mad y’all didn’t crack up at my Old Spice/Daario joke [CTRL F swagger], because that shit was gold. BUT WOW A LOT HAPPENED, and while it didn’t have the heart-ripping quality of last week, it did tell us a lot of important game movements. Plus, the lines were drawn: upstairs vs. downstairs! (Wait, this isn’t Downton Abbey.) I mean: Highborn vs. Lowborn! Those with huge armies and those without! Magic vs. No magic!
Interesting how our Khaleesi straddles so many of these lines… Continue reading
(Last episode, before my heart was destroyed.) GUYS WHAT. WHAT. What. WHAT?!! Hey, I asked you a question. I ASKED YOU WHAAAAAT ON EARTH DID I JUST WATCH?! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MEEEEEEEE? Accurate depiction of me during the last ten minutes of the episode:
Previously! This week…guys, I can’t even. I have lost the ability to even with this show. How does it get better every week? If you were meh about this episode, then I want you to sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. When you can say you’re sorry, I’ll forgive you.
Also, there was literal nail biting from me while watching, and it was mostly centered around what was going to happen to
gloriously shirtless Gendry. Continue reading
Previously! This week: Theon Greyjoy would just really like to take a nap, the Wildling’s Warg has a serious case of the fedora-wearing Nice Guys, and did that muh fuh seriously just insult the Mother of Dragons…on Mother’s Day?
(I tried to get an interview with the bear featured in this episode, but they told me no, he’s a live bear and would literally rip my face off. So, thanks for making me look stupid, bear. What a jerk.) Continue reading