NEPHEW OF BLACKFISH, MARRIED INTO FREYS… ‘MEMBA HIM? #TMZ #doesanyonecareaboutEdmureTully #spoiler:APPARENTLYNOT
[Previously!] Hey there! We’re jumping straight into it, both the recap and the show, evidently, so there’s your warning. Also: NO INTRO?!? Instead of my familiar sweeping game board, it’s Ian McShane (!!) leading the construction of… who knows this early but HOLD THE DAMN PHONE. THE HOUND ISN’T DEAD?! The Hound? HE IS ALIVE.
Okay, this season is throwing out the old playbook. Instead of the characters we’re most interested in dying, SOME OF THEM ARE TURNING UP ALIVE. Glory Be! And oh, okay, there’s my intro, and it’s almost anti-climactic after that shocker. (But I clapped and hummed along, because of course I did. Are you new?! Wait…are you?)
HI, NEW PEOPLE. I am Unsullied. We take it seriously here. No book talk. You literally have everywhere else, but this place is Show Only because you guys get to laugh at how emotional I get. WHEE! (No seriously, it’s fun. I get super emotional; it’s totally ridiculous.) Continue reading
Hey, Bran! Hope it was worth it. I JUST HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, KID. [gross sobbing]
] Hey there! Still sobbing and aching where my heart once was every time I see “Hold the door,” how about you??? Welcome to our group counsel. Donuts and coffee in the back.
[PREVIOUSLY] Guys, this is going up early. I’ll catch typos and put more images in after I’ve had a good, hard cry. YOU KNOW WHY. Not saying above the cut to spare anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.
LOOK AT THESE CREEPY FOREST ATRONACHS.
Good hell, this season just. Gets. Better. Warning: EMOTIONS AHEAD. Also: EPIC POETRY FOR THAT ONE CHARACTER. (Stick to show talk, not book talk, I’m Unsullied, etc etc., thankee sai.) Also, for any new folks: I literally have a few glasses of wine and watch the show, writing as I watch. Fun! Continue reading
[Previously!] GUYS. Remember how some folks were thinking the show would dip down in storytelling and energy? Ha. HA HA HA. Nope! It just gets better and better. This episode was all about families reuniting (kind of) and what was amazing for me, a woman who has watched the women of this show be abused in the most horrific of ways, was how once again, the women told the men, “Chin up” and “Just sit back. I got this.” Nope, I’ll never get enough of that. Let’s get to it, because there is a LOT.
Obligatory reminder that I am Unsullied. Don’t give me that horse pucky about “But we’re all past the books” because everything in the books is not on the show, and no one likes a show off, okay? Don’t flex your book knowledge here for you shall make me sad. It’s funny to watch me guess and flail, right? Right! Show talk only, please and thank you. Continue reading
Hodor? HODOR. …h-Hodor! I did like that he, like Hagrid, is part giant.
[Previously!] SO NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. Nope. Not a thing. Bor-ing, eye-roll inducing lack of–
…lies, filthy lies. Okay, so we’re getting into the whole magic/mythos of the world. FINALLY. It’s just been, you know, 6 seasons… (Don’t mind me, I’m just antsy because there was a LOT that happened.) Remember, who has two thumbs and is Unsullied? THIS GAL! No spoilers be found, so thank you kindly for being a bro and helping me enjoy the whole discovery thing.
PYKE IS BACK ON THE MAP. I stood and cheered, y’all. We’re friends. I can tell you this, right? I just love this show, you guys. Warts and all, I love it. I LOVE IT. I’m a ride-or-die kinda gal, and you need to know this about me. Continue reading
[sings softly] “I know I’m unloveable. You don’t have to tell me…”
] HEY GUYS ANOTHER YEAR OF HAVING OUR HEARTS RIPPED OUT, WHOO HOO!! Well, I don’t have any heart left, so I feel safe. Ha. HA HA HA, famous last words. You watch, come 6.9, I’ll be drunkenly crying on your shoulder. Fun stuff!
So if you’re new, here’s the skinny: I’m Unsullied! I have sworn a vow not to read the books until the show has come to an end. What’s that? You want to adjust your glasses and inform me that we’re out of Book Territory, ergo, you can say anything about—
NOPE. Ease up, Hoss. You’re stepping into JerkButt land, population: You. No book talk here. You have the whole internet for that, but this little place? [stands with hands on hips, gently smiles] This place is free of all book talk. Thankee, Sai. Plus, just ask some of the old timers and they’ll tell you how fun it is to watch me navigate the show as blindly as Arya Stark on the streets of Braavos. Continue reading
Not a cavity
Previously: Beth is back! Neolution is back! Dr. Leekie is back! Hot Paul is back! Art was bac- oh wait, he never left. Anyways, it’s all back in flashback form and things were bleak.
This season has so many people. So many characters. SO many. It’s like I’m reading a GRRM novel. Calm down. writers! No more clones! I know, I know, I’m probably the only one to say that they don’t want more clones. I just feel there isn’t enough time dedicated to our fave inner circle.
Posted in Redemption Corner, Television
Tagged Alison Hendrix, BBC, BBC America, Beth Childs, Boring Cal, Cal Morrison, CBC, Clone Club, Cosima Niehaus, creepy cult farm, fetch me something gay, Helena, Hot Flashback Paul, Hot Paul is hot, how to get your cult farm whites whiter than white, I love Felix, Jessie's Towing, Jordan Gavaris, Katja Obinger, Kinky EMTs, Krystal Goderitch, Ksenia Solo, Max Headroom is Dr. Leekie!, Mika, MK, Orphan Black, Ow My Brain, Pupok the Scorpion, RIP HOT PAUL, Sarah Manning, Space Channel, Tatiana Maslany, That's Cheeky, Trangender Tony
Season Four, bitches!
Oh hey there, fellow Clone Clubbers! Welcome to season 4. Did you miss me? Did you think about me? I thought about you. A lot. Actually, I really thought about Hot Paul a lot. Hot Paul and Big Macs. Sorry.
Season 4 opens with an episode entirely devoted to Beth. We get to see the days leading up to her shooting Maggie Chen and walking in front of a train which isn’t recommended for your health. Let’s just say that Beth is as big a disaster as one could imagine.
There’s a new clone in the game, but she’s always been in the game and we never got to see her until now. She’s Mika, also called MK, she has an accent, she may be Icelandic and she loves to wear sheep masks. I get the reference (Dolly, the famous clone sheep) but what I don’t get is how the hell does she see out of that thing? If I was sneaking around and spying on bad guys I’d pick something better than this. But that’s just me.
Anyways, let’s get started, shall we?
Posted in Redemption Corner, Television
Tagged Alison Hendrix, BBC, BBC America, Beth Childs, Boring Cal, Cal Morrison, Clone Club, Cosima Niehaus, creepy cult farm, fetch me something gay, Helena, Hot Flashback Paul, Hot Paul is hot, how to get your cult farm whites whiter than white, I love Felix, Jessie's Towing, Jordan Gavaris, Katja Obinger, Kinky EMTs, Krystal Goderitch, Ksenia Solo, Max Headroom is Dr. Leekie!, Mika, MK, Orphan Black, Ow My Brain, Pupok the Scorpion, RIP HOT PAUL, Sarah Manning, Space Channel, Tatiana Maslany, That's Cheeky, Trangender Tony
It’s our season finale, and for me, it was a hell of a tear jerker. (Look, I’m a mom and my son is a giant and grown up, and I get tender around little guys, okay? Ha ha ha.) Continue reading
(Sorry for the delay. When you do this for free, you have to take the paying writing jobs first, unfortunately…)