Category Archives: Television

Game of Thrones 6.10 – The Winds of Winter

[Previously] Jon was reborn through the Army-Vag, Sansa took care of business, Bolton died a fitting death, Dany and Yara eye-boned like the world wasn’t coming to an end, Cersei creeped closer to losing her gott-damn mind, and Arya got out of her promise to the House of Black and White. I think. Yeah? Yeah.

Loras Tyrell high Sept

The moment we’ve been waiting all season for! Well, kind of. We all kind of remember Loras, right? Erm…

AND NOW… [crams fists against mouth] JUST CLICK. (Remember: I AM UNSULLIED. NO BOOK TALK. I have also been waterboarded by Cersei’s wine glass it seems…)

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Orphan Black 4.10 – From Dancing Mice to Psychopaths

This season ends badly for the clones

This season ends badly for the clones

Except for Rachel. It's all groovy for her.

Except for Rachel. It’s all groovy for her.

Previously! Donnie got out of jail, Adele left 4EvR, Helena saved the Hendrixes, Evie got tricked by Rachel the Tricky Bitch.

It’s the season ender you guys! AND WHAT AN ENDER! Let’s do this thing!

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Game of Thrones 6.9 – The Battle of the Bastards

Ramsay Bolton battle bastards

I HATE THIS PERSON (the character–the actor is so freaking awesome) WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. EFF YOU RAMSAY BOLTON.

[Previously] [Unhappy Part Two] Well, this was an exciting week. I won’t belabor the point (you can always click back to catch up and please note that the particular issue I’m referring to is handled and done) but I’ll say that THERE IS TO BE NO BOOK TALK HERE. You have the whole damn internet for it. You just do not have my website. It’s been borderline lately, and you guys know it. Lots of minutiae in the comments that is CLEARLY book stuff. Some of you want to really get into fine details from the books in comments, and I’m telling you right now: KNOCK IT OFF. Talk about the show, talk to each other, but leave the books and most importantly SPOILERS out of the discussion. Thanks ever so.

[deep breath] RAMSAY BOLTON CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS? YES? CAN WE? CLICK, OH MY GOD, AND HOLD MEEEEEEEE. Continue reading

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Orphan Black 4.9 – The Mitigation of Competition

Prim and Proper meet Loud and Messy.

Prim and Proper work with Loud and Messy. And it’s awesome.

Previously: Donnie went to jail and was being threatened by a murderous Neolutionist inmate. Alison was being blackmailed by Duko to betray her fellow sestras. Cosima joined forces with Susan to fine a cure once and for all. Duko forgot to wear his Earmuff of Evil and was killed by S.

SO SO SO sorry about the late recap. It’s been a struggle to balance my exciting life with all the travel and beautiful people and yacht parties and professional recapper stuff. Ok, all of that is a lie. It’s just work work work and lame boring yawn stuff. XXX OOO

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Game of Thrones – ATTENTION GOT COMMUNITY

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Game of Thrones 6.8 – No One

Game of Thrones balogna

[Previously!]

WE ARE JUMPING RIGHT INTO THINGS. Continue reading

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Orphan Black 4.08 – The Redesign of Natural Objects

Friendship. Love. Betrayal. Local theatre. Alison has a choice to make.

Love. Betrayal. Local theatre. Alison has a choice to make.

Previously: Sarah felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and went on an epic bender and almost kills herself and Felix saves her and Evie is still bad and Duko wore earmuffs and Donnie went to jail! It was a wild ride.

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Game of Thrones 6.7 – The Broken Man

Edmure Tully Blackfish Frey

NEPHEW OF BLACKFISH, MARRIED INTO FREYS… ‘MEMBA HIM? #TMZ #doesanyonecareaboutEdmureTully #spoiler:APPARENTLYNOT

[Previously!] Hey there! We’re jumping straight into it, both the recap and the show, evidently, so there’s your warning. Also: NO INTRO?!? Instead of my familiar sweeping game board, it’s Ian McShane (!!) leading the construction of… who knows this early but HOLD THE DAMN PHONE. THE HOUND ISN’T DEAD?! The Hound? HE IS ALIVE.

Okay, this season is throwing out the old playbook. Instead of the characters we’re most interested in dying, SOME OF THEM ARE TURNING UP ALIVE. Glory Be! And oh, okay, there’s my intro, and it’s almost anti-climactic after that shocker. (But I clapped and hummed along, because of course I did. Are you new?!  Wait…are you?)

HI, NEW PEOPLE. I am Unsullied. We take it seriously here. No book talk. You literally have everywhere else, but this place is Show Only because you guys get to laugh at how emotional I get. WHEE!  (No seriously, it’s fun. I get super emotional; it’s totally ridiculous.) Continue reading

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Game of Thrones 6.6 – Blood of my Blood

Bran Stark Meera Jojoen

Hey, Bran! Hope it was worth it. I JUST HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, KID. [gross sobbing]

[Previously] Hey there! Still sobbing and aching where my heart once was every time I see “Hold the door,” how about you??? Welcome to our group counsel. Donuts and coffee in the back.

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Orphan Black 4.07 – The Antisocialism of Sex

Sarah knows how to drink!

Sarah knows how to drink in a sensual manner

Previously: Everything went to shit.

Last week I thought the episode ended with Evie walking to the trains, but commenter and local cool guy Derrick pointed out that it was Beth, walking to her death. OHHHHHH! That is so right! As a professional recapper who considers what she does an art form, I appreciate the keen eye. (ed note: still not a professional recapper)

AND! Before you do anything, you need to see how fun and awesome and amazing Tatiana Maslany and Kristin Bruun are.

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