Tag Archives: Beth Childs

Orphan Black 5.1 – The Few Who Dare

Previously! Everything sucked for the clones (except for Rachel, she’s like on top of the world and all it took was stabbing her unloving Mother!) and I was confused because all the bad guys keep dying and I don’t know what faction is what or who!

Actual representation of how the clones’ world is burning around them

Welcome back, Clone Club! Who knows what this, the final season, will bring us? Will our eternally constipated Detective Art Bell finally smile? Will ginger Gracie show up and be useful by maybe using her ginger anger and trying to smother that Westmoreland guy? Will we ever see Gemma and Oscar again or will they forever be ‘visiting Grandma’? Will Sarah Stubbs jump into a scene and sing a line or two from ‘Pippin’? Will our favourite college student/drug dealer Ramone show up on the island with some underground penicillin for Sarah? Cause she could really use some right now. Will Hot Paul make a deus ex machina and show up with tears in his eyes and kill like all the bad guys and then sweep me into his arms and oh wait. Right. Recap.

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Orphan Black 4.10 – From Dancing Mice to Psychopaths

This season ends badly for the clones

This season ends badly for the clones

Except for Rachel. It's all groovy for her.

Except for Rachel. It’s all groovy for her.

Previously! Donnie got out of jail, Adele left 4EvR, Helena saved the Hendrixes, Evie got tricked by Rachel the Tricky Bitch.

It’s the season ender you guys! AND WHAT AN ENDER! Let’s do this thing!

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Orphan Black 4.9 – The Mitigation of Competition

Prim and Proper meet Loud and Messy.

Prim and Proper work with Loud and Messy. And it’s awesome.

Previously: Donnie went to jail and was being threatened by a murderous Neolutionist inmate. Alison was being blackmailed by Duko to betray her fellow sestras. Cosima joined forces with Susan to fine a cure once and for all. Duko forgot to wear his Earmuff of Evil and was killed by S.

SO SO SO sorry about the late recap. It’s been a struggle to balance my exciting life with all the travel and beautiful people and yacht parties and professional recapper stuff. Ok, all of that is a lie. It’s just work work work and lame boring yawn stuff. XXX OOO

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Orphan Black 4.08 – The Redesign of Natural Objects

Friendship. Love. Betrayal. Local theatre. Alison has a choice to make.

Love. Betrayal. Local theatre. Alison has a choice to make.

Previously: Sarah felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and went on an epic bender and almost kills herself and Felix saves her and Evie is still bad and Duko wore earmuffs and Donnie went to jail! It was a wild ride.

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Orphan Black 4.07 – The Antisocialism of Sex

Sarah knows how to drink!

Sarah knows how to drink in a sensual manner

Previously: Everything went to shit.

Last week I thought the episode ended with Evie walking to the trains, but commenter and local cool guy Derrick pointed out that it was Beth, walking to her death. OHHHHHH! That is so right! As a professional recapper who considers what she does an art form, I appreciate the keen eye. (ed note: still not a professional recapper)

AND! Before you do anything, you need to see how fun and awesome and amazing Tatiana Maslany and Kristin Bruun are.

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Orphan Black 4.6 – The Scandal of Altruism

Sad Beth

Sad Beth and sad endings

Previously! Cosima and Donnie went to Brightborn. Cosima snuck around and saw literally everything. Susan took a sexy swim with Ira and they kissed awkwardly. Krystal was so close yet so far on figuring things out.

Episode 6 is a big one you guys! Last season it was the episode where Hot Paul dies and no I don’t even want to talk about it. In this episode we finally get to see the rest of Beth’s last night before dying. Who’s blood is on her hands? Why did she kill herself? Where did she go when she left her condo in the wig? Who did she see? The answers, my friend, are coming up! Right. Now.

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Orphan Black 4.5 – Human Raw Material

Tatiana and Kristian are comedy gold. Gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Tatiana and Kristian are comedy gold. Gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Previously! Sarah didn’t want Ferdinand’s frittata, MK built bombs and stole Ferdiand’s money and peaced out, Helena peaced out, Donnie jizzed in a cup, no one checked Kira for maggotbots STILL.

Krystal Goderitch is back you guys! She’s totally taking self-defense classes you guys! She’s been working out you guys! She’s going to be prepared for the next time someone tries to victimize her you guys! She’s going to get to the bottom of things you guys! And she’ll still tell everyone around her everything she knows about everything she’s found out with intermanet searches you guys! She’s a warrior now!!

Jesus H Christ Tatiana is cut

Jesus H Christ Tatiana is cut

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Orphan Black 4.4 – From Instinct to Rational Control

MK knows how to put on a bitchin' Power Point presentation.

MK knows how to put on a bitchin’ Power Point presentation.

Sorry for the crazy late posting, pals. Work, family gatherings, reunions, etc etc etc. Love you? :'(

Previously: Kira acted weird but no one noticed. Kira might also have something in her but no one has bothered to check cause???? Felix finds his half sister blah blah blah do not care. Alison and Donnie dug up dead Leekie to see if he had a maggot bot in his cheek which he did yay! Sarah is acting crazeee.

MK brushes, flosses, makes a bomb and researches DYAD and Topside. She is very clever, that MK.

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Orphan Black 4.3 – The Stigmata of Progress

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and sometimes what you gotta do is dig up that rotting corpse you buried in your garage under all that cement

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and sometimes what you gotta do is dig up that rotting corpse you buried in your garage under all that cement to get the maggot bot out of it’s cheek so you can help your clone sister who also has a maggot bot in her cheek. Just a normal day.

Previously: The gang came back from Iceland. Felix showed his butt AND his showering upper body. Cosima set up a secret lab under a comic store. Helena is having twins! MK wore her sheep mask and drove which I doubt is a great thing to do visually but whatever I’m just a stickler for vehicle safety I guess. Sarah was attacked by the EMTs cause they thought she was MK but then they saw she had a maggot bot in her cheek so they just left. Wait…what.

Last week I thought the EMTs spoke German but I read on the intermanet that they were speaking Africaans. The intermanet also tells me that Africaans is ‘a Low Franconian West Germanic language descended from Dutch and spoken mainly in South Africa and Namibia.’ So there you have it. We’ve all learned something today.

And can you believe that the entire show timeline has been 6 months? All this has happened in 6 months! Jesus.

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Orphan Black 4.2 – Transgressive Border Crossing

Not a cavity

Not a cavity

Previously: Beth is back! Neolution is back! Dr. Leekie is back! Hot Paul is back! Art was bac- oh wait, he never left. Anyways, it’s all back in flashback form and things were bleak.

This season has so many people. So many characters. SO many. It’s like I’m reading a GRRM novel. Calm down. writers! No more clones! I know, I know, I’m probably the only one to say that they don’t want more clones. I just feel there isn’t enough time dedicated to our fave inner circle.

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