So… we all okay? Because you know (you comic book readers who have hatefully hinted to me to prepare for this since S2) that this is basically terrible.
We knew Michonne was okay. We KNEW it. Also, don’t tell anyone you twisted your ankle in the ZA. Suck it up, and move your buns. ALSO TIMES A MILLION, the pet store was hard for me. THAT WAS HARD. I don’t like thinking about creatures trapped in cages. That was some dark shizz.
BUT GLENN. Here is where you can vent, remember our most fabulous pizza delivery boy, whatever. WHAT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?? (Also: I toooootally thought Daryl was racing back to
boyfriend best friend Rick and was shocked to see him returning to his mission. THOUGHTS??)
[Previously!] Okay, the show hinted that someone we care about will die in this finale, which I hate knowing, because then I’m too stressed to just take the episode in. No, I imagine every interaction as the last. (Which yeah, I know that’s what they want.) You know what I want?
MORGAN!!! AND I GOT IT!
Someone spent some time on Coruscant for their Jedi training. [DID YOU NOT KNOW HOW BIG OF A NERD I AM UNTIL JUST NOW?] I pretty much made light-saber noises every time Morgan pulled out that quarterstaff.
I DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR SYMPATHY TUNA NOODLE, MADAM.
Previously! Deanna and NPR Chairperson Reg mourn their dead son by listening to Trent Reznor, as you do. Reg is moved to tears by the ’90s emo, and I’m crying, too, Reg. Because Carol made you guys a sympathy tuna casserole, with a “We’re truly sorry for your loss” card, which Deanna promptly sets on fire. She then leaves the tuna noodles out on the porch, and that’s how you get ants, Deanna. Continue reading
GUYS. I had jury duty, and they picked me. So sorry for the delay but an actual person’s LIFE WAS ON THE LINE. Who cares, let’s talk about cookies and buttons! [Previously!]
HEY MY GUESS IS THIS IS FORESHADOWING TO ADULTERY, WHO’S WITH ME?
We open with Sasha looking at some pictures of white people enjoying themselves. Seriously? They couldn’t do a sweep of empty houses and remove personal memorabilia? And were there no people of color in Alexandria? Welp, she can’t sleep, so she goes to the gun libraries (Republicans are probably salivating at that concept), checks out her sniper, promises Olivia that if she gets a boar (pfft, she’s hunting Walkers) she’ll make sure to send her prosciutto seeds (a leg)… Continue reading
Please note Dr. Mullet standing with no weapon in the middle. He should fit right in!
Previously! We open with our group approaching the gate at Alexandria, which opens for them. Carl sees a young girl watching them from one of the damage houses at the entrance. Love interest, spotted! Also spotted: opossum in the trashcan, which Daryl quickly puts down, telling the guys at the gate, “We brought dinner.” Ahahaha. Continue reading
Can you imagine how bad they all smell right about now? Probably can’t smell it anymore it’s so bad. Sorry, I get distracted easily.
[Previously] I have to tell you guys, it’s getting really hard to stick with it. I mean, I’m doing this out of my love for the show, and the show is making me fall in love with a passel of kittens and then drowning them in front of my crying face. This week was just rough. But I’m here. And Maggie pretty much sums it up: “How much longer we got?”
I don’t know, Maggie. I don’t know. Continue reading
PREVIOUSLY. So hopefully this means we’re done with Grady Hospital. Because I gotta be honest: it wasn’t compelling. I was never REALLY creeped out by the set up with the exception of a few scenes, mostly that first episode and the moment in Dawn’s office with Gorman creeping on Beth. They fell into the number one rule of “don’t do this” in storytelling: they told us it was scary and awful and didn’t show us.
Raise your hand if you actually got nervous every time Dawn stood calmly? Or every time she said in her neutral mom voice, “It has to be this way.” And it’s because we all know that it doesn’t. It absolutely DOESN’T have to be this way, Dawn, because we’ve seen the prison, we’ve seen Terminus, and we’ve seen Tenpenny Towers, aka Woodbury. I mean, if y’all are gonna be slavers, y’all need to be 100% menacing. And they just weren’t. Right? But let’s get to brass tacks. Continue reading
Previously: Dr. Mullet’s whole reason for living is a lie! Beth is still trapped! Carole is in danger, gorl! It’s the penultimate episode before our hiatus and a lot of pieces get moved on the board.
Now THAT is how you decorate a church in the apocalypse.
Sasha, meanwhile is taking apart the pews in the church with an ax, and Ty is pulling out pipes to the organ (nooooo! And I wish I could see what music was there) that are being used to fortify the entrance to the church. Outside, Father Gabriel wonders if they’re going to take the cross, too as we hear hammering and fortification happening to the church.
And I was pleased to see that Rosita clearly knew how to make a homemade water filter like I detailed a few eps ago. SEE? I AM GOING TO KEEP Y’ALL ALIVE, YO. Continue reading
PROTECT CAROL AT ALL COSTS, OH MY HEART!!
Previously: CAROL DEALT WITH COUGHS BY BURNINATION. <3 If you watched this episode and didn’t delight in these two grizzled, self-made heroes, then you might be broken inside. This season continues to be amazing.
Fun stuff to put in your mind before we get into it: biblical references were also in this particular ep, but not in the way we’re used to finding them. A reoccurring theme in the Bible is “the refiner’s fire” and how you’re tested and made stronger. Specifically mentioned is silver, which goes through refining fire six times to be coin, and an additional time to be turned into, say a sword or dagger. A weapon. I think you see where I’m going here. Also, this is fun:
Psalm 66:10-12: For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.
HEY ALL OF THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE. Continue reading
Why is this grizzled man so damn sexy to me? IS IT BECAUSE I HAVE EYES? Probably.
Previously! Oooh, there was some awesome resolution in this episode, and a cliffhanger that has me itchy with need. Also, I hope you know how unhappy with myself I am for not managing a Bob’s Burger joke last week. (And that show is gold, Bob’s Burger. Pure D-Gold.)
Let’s get straight to a beautiful bit of symbolism. Continue reading