[Previously] Jon was reborn through the Army-Vag, Sansa took care of business, Bolton died a fitting death, Dany and Yara eye-boned like the world wasn’t coming to an end, Cersei creeped closer to losing her gott-damn mind, and Arya got out of her promise to the House of Black and White. I think. Yeah? Yeah.
The moment we’ve been waiting all season for! Well, kind of. We all kind of remember Loras, right? Erm…
AND NOW… [crams fists against mouth] JUST CLICK. (Remember: I AM UNSULLIED. NO BOOK TALK. I have also been waterboarded by Cersei’s wine glass it seems…)
NEPHEW OF BLACKFISH, MARRIED INTO FREYS… ‘MEMBA HIM? #TMZ #doesanyonecareaboutEdmureTully #spoiler:APPARENTLYNOT
[Previously!] Hey there! We’re jumping straight into it, both the recap and the show, evidently, so there’s your warning. Also: NO INTRO?!? Instead of my familiar sweeping game board, it’s Ian McShane (!!) leading the construction of… who knows this early but HOLD THE DAMN PHONE. THE HOUND ISN’T DEAD?! The Hound? HE IS ALIVE.
Okay, this season is throwing out the old playbook. Instead of the characters we’re most interested in dying, SOME OF THEM ARE TURNING UP ALIVE. Glory Be! And oh, okay, there’s my intro, and it’s almost anti-climactic after that shocker. (But I clapped and hummed along, because of course I did. Are you new?! Wait…are you?)
HI, NEW PEOPLE. I am Unsullied. We take it seriously here. No book talk. You literally have everywhere else, but this place is Show Only because you guys get to laugh at how emotional I get. WHEE! (No seriously, it’s fun. I get super emotional; it’s totally ridiculous.) Continue reading
[PREVIOUSLY] Guys, this is going up early. I’ll catch typos and put more images in after I’ve had a good, hard cry. YOU KNOW WHY. Not saying above the cut to spare anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.
LOOK AT THESE CREEPY FOREST ATRONACHS.
Good hell, this season just. Gets. Better. Warning: EMOTIONS AHEAD. Also: EPIC POETRY FOR THAT ONE CHARACTER. (Stick to show talk, not book talk, I’m Unsullied, etc etc., thankee sai.) Also, for any new folks: I literally have a few glasses of wine and watch the show, writing as I watch. Fun! Continue reading
You’ve got to pick a pocket or two, boys…
[Previously!] The show started with Ned Stark beheading a guy for breaking his Oath, young Jon at his side. And it ends with… Well, keep reading.
REMINDER: I am NOT a book reader. I am Unsullied and took an oath (hurr) to stay that way, AND MY WATCH HAS NOT ENDED. Every damn week I get someone who wants to laugh and explain that, ha! We’re all on the same boat now, so it’s not like I can be spoiled, right? So anyway, in Book 3…
WRONG. First off, why do you want to be that person? Why? Don’t be that person. Yes, you can still ruin things for me because not everything in the books made it to screen yet. Just stop. Stop. If you think you have some kind of tic where you just can’t help yourself when it comes to talking about the book, you literally have the rest of the internet to talk about them. This is not the place for you.
Just… it’s tiresome. Cut it out. Stop trying to prove this horse-pucky to me, because all you prove is that I won’t like you very much. I’m a nice person and I don’t deserve this. Ahahaha. Ahem. HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS AMAZING SEASON SO FAR! Continue reading
Hodor? HODOR. …h-Hodor! I did like that he, like Hagrid, is part giant.
[Previously!] SO NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. Nope. Not a thing. Bor-ing, eye-roll inducing lack of–
…lies, filthy lies. Okay, so we’re getting into the whole magic/mythos of the world. FINALLY. It’s just been, you know, 6 seasons… (Don’t mind me, I’m just antsy because there was a LOT that happened.) Remember, who has two thumbs and is Unsullied? THIS GAL! No spoilers be found, so thank you kindly for being a bro and helping me enjoy the whole discovery thing.
PYKE IS BACK ON THE MAP. I stood and cheered, y’all. We’re friends. I can tell you this, right? I just love this show, you guys. Warts and all, I love it. I LOVE IT. I’m a ride-or-die kinda gal, and you need to know this about me. Continue reading
Hey. Can I just lay my head on your shoulder for a minute? Thanks. I’m just… no, I don’t need a drink of water, thank you. I’m just really really tired. Hmm, that’s not the right word, it’s… Fatigued? That’s it. I’m fatigued.
literally me. I am Clyde Frog.
I bet you are, too. Or you should be. What are we doing, guys? What–
Screw it. Let’s do this. And for what it’s worth, I literally write these AS I WATCH, so enjoy the energy drop as you go. EDIT: I am not a book reader. I am deleting comments that mention details from the books. Don’t be that person. If you’re new, now you know: NO BOOK TALK. Continue reading