Previously! This week: Theon Greyjoy would just really like to take a nap, the Wildling’s Warg has a serious case of the fedora-wearing Nice Guys, and did that muh fuh seriously just insult the Mother of Dragons…on Mother’s Day?
(I tried to get an interview with the bear featured in this episode, but they told me no, he’s a live bear and would literally rip my face off. So, thanks for making me look stupid, bear. What a jerk.) Continue reading
It ain’t an ice-covered Machu Pichuu, that much we can say.
Previously. Again, this is the fastest hour on television. I’m looking at my notes, still not able to believe how much was packed in this episode without it feeling like it was too much. Let’s get right to it.
Obligatory reminder: I’m a show-watcher, not a book reader. Don’t spoil me or the readers for funsies, because that’s uncool. (And don’t pick at people for not having details right when we’re going off the show. It’s irrelevant to your enjoyment of the books or program, I promise. You can always scroll or X out.) Continue reading
Oh, so NOW you don’t want to be Daddy’s Girl, Cersei?
PREVIOUSLY. There are no signs of this show slowing down. If Game of Thrones were a mathematical equation, it would be y = x * 6reanimations/3baby jars + 1 Khaleesi to the 3rd power of Dragon (which we all know is a rational numerical representation of awesome).
OBLIGATORY REMINDER: I am NOT a book reader. If it’s not made to be important on the show (for a non-book reader) then I might not know all the nuances that a book reader would. Please keep in mind that book readers are aware of tiny details that we show-watchers aren’t. Don’t be shady, be a lady. (aka: Don’t be a pedant, even if someone is Wrong On The Internet.) Continue reading
I got this, I got this, JEEZ.
PREVIOUSLY: Dragons, nip slips (as in, slipped off by knife-point), Theon has a mysterious friend, and Wargs! And I realized tonight that the Wildling’s Warg is Mackenzie Crook. Aww, I like him. Which means he’ll probably get raped. Because there is a LOT of reference to rape in this episode, and I’m gathering that it’s a big ol’ rape-apalooza in the books, which…urgh. No me gusta.
ALSO: remember that Catelyn’s sister had a son with the Bad Touch-Boob Sucking (we referred to him in the past as Bad Boob for short. Look, when your kid is old enough to be a Belieber, it’s time to get them off your teat.) Onward, fellow fen! Continue reading
Gendry, Arya, and Cartman go for a walk in the woods. I would like to lodge a complaint at the complete lack of shirtless Gendry.
Previously on Game of Thrones: The Kingslayer flirt/fights with Brienne. Bran can’t walk and regularly gets The Shine. Jon is miserable and longs for a cuddle. Arya is the sassiest 12-year-old girl with a sword in all the land. Margaery werqs it and King Weaselteat continues to be the worst. On with this week’s episode!
(Regular reminder that I am NOT a book reader, which means that if it hasn’t aired on HBO, I don’t know it. Also: the show isn’t the same as the books in regards to character, spelling, etc. in some cases. So…who’s got two thumbs and is not a book reader? This gal!) Continue reading