Previously: Alison realizes her monitor was sneaky Donnie all along and takes up drinking again, but this time in tiny bottles. The play ‘Blood Ties’ (a real play, btw!) is opening soon! Cosima starts her clone research at DYAD and meets Rachel, who is and always will be a stone cold bitch. I love it. Art helps Sarah, who is promptly kidnapped. But no worries, it’s Mrs. S’s people and they take her to Kira. Mrs. S is lying about not knowing anything about Project Leda. Her people betray them to the Proletarians and are promptly gunned down by Mrs. S. Byeee! Sarah and Kira escape in an old truck and take off to lay low with Felix for a while. Mark the Creepy Cowboy sneaks Helena out of the hospital to recover with him and the Proletarians at their creepy cult farm. Tomas doesn’t see Helena for the mirror twin miracle that she is and still hates her so the Proletarians shoot him. Byeee!
Tag Archives: Sad Helena is sad
Previously: Sarah comes to town and sees so many twins but they aren’t twins they’re clones! She meets Alison! And Cosima! And Helena! Hot Paul is hot! Alison hates Big Boob Blowies and Donnie! Goodbye creepy Olivier! Kira noooooooo! Felix wears something gay! We meet another clone named Rachel Duncan and Art is kinds figuring stuff out but he’s a terrible detective so not really and Alison lets Aynesley choke to death right in front of her and Cosima is sick and Dr. Leekie is a liar and Donnie is a liar and the DYAD Institute owes the clones and Sarah shoots Helena and someone took Kiraaaaaa and and and! Whew, what a season.
Previously on Orphan Black: Kira was hit by a car, like, totally badly, but don’t worry, she’s fine. I’m pretty sure there was something in her stomach but the doctors didn’t say boo about it. Helena got locked in a cage by horrible Thomas and Sarah rescued her. Helena tried to kill Thomas for being evil. Alison walked into an intervention. Felix helped her stand up to them all. Cosima found out Delphine is a big fat liar and dumps her. Art finally figures everything out. Kinda.
It’s the season finale, guys! And what a finale! I can’t take all the heartbreak this episode dished out. I am officaly heartbroken. Sigh. Well…here’s the recap…please enjoy it. I’ll just be over there, in the corner, weeping silently but beautifully. Yes, beautifully.
Previously on Orphan Black: Art and his new partner Angela close in on Sarah. Alison got tired of Aynesley and her meddling Monitor ways so she revenge-banged Aynesley’s easy husband Chad. Alison and Aynesley fought in the street, like that old video game, Pacman. Ok, Street Fighter. I went all Mortal Comabat mode while they fought and kept screaming, “FINISH HER!” Alison got drunk and adorably showed up at Felix’s. Sarah took Alison to Mrs. S. and told her everything. Dr. Leekie sent Olivier his regards, which means Olivier is dead. Bye, Creepy! Cosima made sweet, sweet love to Delphine. To repay her for the incredible sex Delphine snooped in Cosima’s Clone File and told Dr. Leekie everything Cosima knows….except for the fact that Kira exists. See? Lesbian sex works every time. Helena found a sweet letter that Kira wrote to Sarah and used it to find Mrs. S’s house and got Kira to come outside. They walked and bonded. Kira touched Helena’s poor, achingly-lonely heart so she let Kira go instead of bringing her to Thomas for torture fun. Kira crossed the street without looking both ways first and was promptly ran the eff over. WE ALL SCREAMED. NOOOOOOOO KIRA NOOOO!
Previously on Orphan Black: Art and Angela re-start their investigation from the ground up. Hot Paul gets interrogated by Creepy Olivier. Felix wears guyliner and looks better than everyone else. Alison was away at a couple’s retreat with Stupid Donnie. Sarah rescues Hot Paul and they are in looooove. (YES GOD YES) Helena is friggin’ awesome: she has lunch with Sarah, rescues Sarah from Creepy Olivier, gets a name of a clone from Sarah, cuts off Creepy Olivier’s tail and then dances the night away in the club with the tail. Helena rules. Felix calls Art to tell him all about Beth Childs but when Sarah and Paul get out of the rave club alive he hangs up. Art talks to the cell phone for another 10 minutes cause he just can’t tell when someone hangs up I guess.
Guys. You guys. This show. Every week I say, “This episode was the best!” and then the next week happens and I jump off the couch after the episode airs, point my finger wildly at the TV and scream, “THIS EPISODE WAS THE BEST!!!!” Well guess what? THIS EPISODE WAS THE BEST.
Orphan Black tops itself as each episode airs. The writing is clever and funny, the pacing never drags, the story is riveting and the characters are fully-fleshed and interesting. There isn’t a dud in the bunch. Everyone’s story is fascinating. I feel sorry for anyone not watching this show. Sorry. Sorry cause you suck!