Glee 3.04 – Pot O’ Gold
Sure an' yer sayin this lad is Oirish? Better put him in green then, the audience'll never know!
Chris Colfer, the gauntlet has been thrown in the vocal range arena. We meet the new foreign exchange studet, Rory O’Shaunessey O’Toole O’Gill of the Little People. And the kid has pipes. In his honor, today’s cocktail is the Rory Leprechaun. Continue reading
"Ya can't go out with dem floppy moobs, Vin, I have standards with who I date."
In case you can’t remember what happened last week, here’s your refresher: Mike was a dick, Snooki was drunk, Deena fell down a lot, Ron said bro so many times he had a seizure, and Vinny and Pauly’s love continued to flourish in the city of fiery love, Florence.
"I got ya bresaola right here! Who's hungry?" (Note the guy on the far left with his half-assed "eh," clap.)
Last week the girls took naps on wine casks, Deena was constantly on the prowl to “do sex” and Mike was a jerk. Oh, and Snooki called her boyfriend to say she didn’t have sex with Vinny, so they’re back together, but really now, this is her last chance! That is Kool and the Gang with her. Except for how she later finds out she did have sex with Vinny, and immediately calls him to say, oops, we knocked boots, but I love you so it’s okay, right?
We hear bull-snort level heavy breathing on the other end of the line. Continue reading
Kyle: HOW DARE YOU CALL US OUT ON THINGS THAT ARE 100% TRUE! Kim: I like pretty planes, Rosa bring me the picture albums, TREEEE!
Last week we met Dana Wilkey, of the $25,000 sunglasses and super-nova-sized ego. Kim was drunkenly dressing up her maid to relive her glory days, and Brandi made frenemies with everyone. But they were all smiles as they judged one another. Enough butt sniffing, let’s get to the dog fight. Continue reading
This is a perfectly reasonable place for a nap. Let's all just be grateful those are shorts.
Remember how sad Snooki was about her One True Love Jionni leaving her? Remember how she only wanted him? And remember how she proved that by climbing in bed with Vinny and getting reacquainted with Seabiscuit? If that doesn’t tell your boyfriend you care, I guess I don’t know what will. “I love you so much I’m going to have sex with this guy, are you happy now?”
Their world is very different from mine. Continue reading
Mr. Chang explains how he's going to have to apply thumb screws if Mike doesn't bring his horrendous 3.89 up to a 4.0.
Best Glee Ever! Or so they told us. Over and over again. Well, there were definitely some amazing moments, and we can thank Mike Chang for that. This episode’s cocktail is based on the title and Mike Chang’s mother’s love for Dim Sum and all things good for you and for his waigong back in China rooting for him: Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh? Continue reading
Guys? A little help here? ...guys? ...guys??
Last episode, the world played Snooki’s Gynecologist, her boyfriend Jionni stormed out, and Jenni walked all over the cobbled streets of Florence looking for him. Just a typical Thursday.
The three stars of McKinley High battle it out.
Guys, we’re getting trashed this episode. Just… I need a drink. I would like to make a plea to RIB, the show runners/writers of Glee: you are a bunch of canon-wrecking, ret-conning jerkfaces. Now, because I’m thinking you need to drink, too, let me tell you that today’s recipe will get you wrecked if you actually drink a whole one every time I say “Drink.” So don’t be dumb. You now the drill, get your backup livers lined up and an ambulance on speed dial. Today’s drink is Unicorn Glitter Gun. Yep, it’s a shooter.
Is there anything worse than being slushied by a Ginger-mullet?
New Season! New Gameboard! New characters! Let’s get right to it, but make sure to get your new game card (notice there are some changes to what we drink for) and today’s cocktail is based on my own personal favorite performance of the episode, and the mythos behind the original singer, the Unusual Panty Dropper. Continue reading
NYC: The City of Love. (Wait, isn't that Paris?)
A true cocktail that captures the essence of New York City would be a few parts horse piss, decaying garbage, smog, all shaken with taxi cab air freshners and then thrown in someone’s face that pissed you off. But in the spirit of the glamorous dreams of NYC, today’s cocktail is the Holly Golightly. Continue reading