Misfits 1.03

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LAST EPISODE: Recap of everyone’s powers (or lack thereof); Nathan’s homelessness; and somebody knows they killed their probation workah.

Alisha is walking through a sexy hallway full of sexy people, touching all of them and apparently having sex with several of the dudes (I think it‘s okay, though, because they‘re not touching her as they pull off their clothes so they…wanted to do it at some point? That’s not so okay, I guess. This power is REALLY ICKY). Her power is the most morally complicated one. She doesn’t have any real control over it, unless she wants to choose who she’s going to rape, and if someone touches her by accident, they’re sort of…raped into wanting to rape her. And even if she’s with someone and they negotiate all of this beforehand, the second they touch her, they’ve lost the ability to change their mind. I guess the only solution is to double-bag it and cut a hole in a sheet.

She touches a couple of ladies in the hallway, and they show an interest, but we never find out if the power works on women as well. There is banging, then there is credits. Alisha puts on makeup as the rest of the gang talk about who might be leaving the mysterious notes in their lockers. Simon says it might be Sally, and he has to remind them of who she is. He also has to remind them that Tony’s name was Tony. Nathan’s jumpsuit is filthy.

Simon suggests that he go invisible to see if anyone comes into the locker room to enact a half-baked plan to scare them into honesty by putting stuff in their lockers. Everyone’s down with it, and they wait for him to turn invisible. He can’t do it when they’re all looking, so they all roll their eyes and leave him to disappear on his own. I love the way Simon’s invisibility shots are framed in this episode, with him at the center of a huge frame. It’s simple, but it really does convey how alone he has to feel for his power to work.

Some plaid-wearing, sweepy-haired punk tells the group to separate a giant mountain range of donated clothes before they’re shipped out to Africa. Where in Africa? WHO KNOWS. In other news, I have to donate some of my geography books to Europe. Alisha says something snarky, and the sweepy-haired punk tells her that the people who receive them are going to be very grateful for their hard work. She’s like, “Well, they should be, they’re getting a new wardrobe.” Curtis says that’s “So wrong,” and it totally is. Alisha’s sociopathy will never not be hilarious.

Punky Hipster asks if they have any questions, and Nathan’s hand shoots up. He asks who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark. Punkelstiltskin ignores him, then says that if it’s on dry land, he’d bet on the bear, then struts off while Alisha, stares after him for some unquantifiable reason. The gang minus Simon plays around in the clothes cutely.

Simon sits alone in the locker room, staring into space. iPod, sweetie, I know you have one.

Nathan does the worst impression of Bono I’ve heard outside of my uncle’s stellar “HEY LOOK AT ME I’M BONO [claps three times and then points at the nearest person]” routine. Everybody makes faces at him. Sally comes in with a girl in a hat, and Kelly informs us that this is the girl that she fought to get her community service. She’s got to do some mediated restorative talking with her, and is not in any way into it.

The sweepy punk tells Alisha that a cute dress with giant polka dots she’s pressing contemplatively up to her chest suits her, and she’s slightly tickled. Curtis gives a hilarious reaction shot in the background and throws something on the floor.

Simon is alone with a lollipop.

This mediation scene is probably the moment when I knew Kelly was going to be my forever girl, because she honestly does try to make peace with Jodie, in her own way. At first the mediation is fraught with tooth-sucking and aggressive posturing. Nathan skates by the window, wailing, so Sally gets up and yells at him. Kelly reads Jodie’s mind and tries to build a bridge by telling Jodie that Jodie’s former boyfriend was a dick and it’s good that they broke up. Jodie, like nearly every single young woman I have ever known (or, um, been), takes this completely the wrong way and lashes out, slapping her, so Kelly just headbutts her back.

Jodie’s mental voice says “You see how it feels, bitch!” and there are several magnified shots of hair. Jodie is escorted out. Kelly throws a chair from offscreen. Alisha, Nathan, and Curtis all stare, hypnotized by the utter class and poise happening before them.

Simon has a friend now! It’s a fly though. And it doesn’t stay for very long.

Curtis and Alisha sit out on a bench. Alisha probes for information about his arrest–he was caught trying to buy coke with a girl he was seeing, Sam–and then probes for information about is he still seeing anyone or what. He’s not. Alisha takes this as an O-K to move in for the kill. Curtis gets visibly disturbed by the hand she nearly brushes over his arm. It’s fair, because Alisha is fucking disturbing.

I couldn’t even begin to go into the psychology of her, mostly because I’m not a psychologist and don’t have the terminology or skills or degree, but she’s a very exaggerated example of how being young and beautiful and not having any boundaries can fuck a person up. She’s sexually aggressive (not a problem) and doesn’t understand the word no (big problem), but now she can make it so that she doesn’t even have to encounter the word no, at least not for very long.

This power and this psychological makeup in a man would be terrifying, and we wouldn’t see it on t.v. Misfits, however, understands that this power in a woman is also terrifying, so when Alisha rapes Curtis, it’s not just a tee-hee, she overpowered me! That’s hot! reaction from him. He’s scared and angry. That anger is mostly because he did actually like her, but she betrayed any potential feelings he had for her by taking his choice away from him. He explains this to her, way more patient than he has to be: “You can’t be doing that to people!”

“Trust me, you enjoyed it.”

That wasn’t me!.”

Alisha’s face falls. “But you were so up for it! You kept telling me how much you wanted to be with me!”

“When I want to tell you something, I’ll tell you myself.”

Alisha just doesn’t get it. Curtis says “You think because you’re beautiful, you can just treat people any way you want.” and Alisha tells him yes, that’s pretty much how it works. He tells her how messed up she is, but it doesn’t settle in. She’s angry that someone’s bucked her system, not sorry because someone told her her system is fucked. This scene is really good and so well-acted.

Alisha zips up her jumpsuit, looking very small in her wide shot. She walks into the hallway, crying, and the hipster punk walks up and asks her what’s wrong. She’s contemplative, because why stop at one rape?

Kelly, Nathan, and Curtis come back into the locker room later in the day. Simon materializes next to Curtis’s locker, making creepy face and scaring the hell out of him. Simon tells the group he didn’t see anyone, not breaking eye contact with Curtis, and Curtis slowly realizes that Simon totally saw everything. Simon’s smiling a creepy little “hey dudebro nice goin’” smile, which is strange considering he must have heard the argument. STOP BEING SO WEIRD SIMON.

Simon goes home and talks to shygirl18 on the internet, saying that everyone treats him like he’s nobody. shygirl18 is like “They don’t know you like I do,” so Simon naturally progresses the conversation into asking if she’s got a boyfriend. shygirl18 says not anymore, because she’s Sally and her boyfriend was Tony! SHOCK AND AWE. She stops talking to Simon and stares into space.

Kelly gets into the shower and starts washing her hair. She pauses, says “Wot the foak?” and screams for her mum.

Simon walks to the overpass by the river where there is a shitload of construction happening. Happening right on top of where Tony and Gary are rotting! Ruh roh.

Alisha brushes the hipster punk off, and he looks totally upset about this. You don’t even remember the sex, dude!

Simon’s in a rush to tell everyone about the shocking developments when Sally almost runs him over and compliments him on how nice his shirt looks. And it does look nice, but he’s in a rush. Nathan’s giant face fills up the screen, brows furrowed and nostrils flaring. His features go through some impressive acrobatics before Simon finally asks what the actual fuck he’s doing. Curtis, lounging around on the roof cushions with his arm thrown over his face, says Nathan’s trying to break a bottle with his mind. Nathan strains harder. Curtis wonders if Nathan’s going to exertion-poop himself, but Nathan gives up and punts the bottle away before anything terrible happens. He says he’s got a power, he can feel it in his balls!

Simon says “They’re going to dig up the bodies! They’re building an environmental monitoring station under the flyover!” Nobody knows what that is, but they know it’s bad, so they discuss it over clothes-sorting. Nathan’s wearing a bra for the whole scene. Kelly walks in late, baseball cap and sunglasses on, and is generally sort of shifty. They ask if she can steal a car so they can move the bodies, but she tells them to fuck off. Nathan points out that it’s really embarrassing that, out of five young offenders, none of them know how to hotwire a vehicle. It really is, though.

Alisha says they can borrow her dad’s car. Curtis, very calmly and rationally, points out that she’s banned from driving. She calls him a whiny little bitch. It was an interesting choice to make her unrepentant and mean about this situation, and one I really like. Nathan tries to make them work together, but they’re not about it.

Night. More discussions about what to do with the bodies. They eventually decide to store them at the community center until they figure out what to do with them. Nathan’s big secret, that he’s living in the community center, doesn’t seem to shock anyone. While they dig up the bodies, Nathan severs one of the corpses’ hands. When you’re digging up the bodies of your manslaughter victims, you really need to be careful.

Kelly and Nathan talk about why Kelly’s so quiet and why Nathan’s living in the community center as they fill up the holes. Neither of them actually want to talk about these things, so they head back to the car. Nathan throws the severed hand on the windshield because he’s just that kind of person. They manage to drive the bodies back and put them in the storeroom. Mostly, anyway. Before the bodies are all the way in, Nathan yanks Kelly’s hat and SECRET WIG off of her head. She’s totally bald. She runs away. Alisha says she looked like an alien, and everyone giggles about it because lest we forget: they’re all kind of mean.

Nathan goes off after her. Alisha makes Simon go away so that she and Curtis can have an “awkward talk.” Alisha asks if the sex was really that bad. Curtis tells her she’s just not getting it. I don’t think she’s being deliberately obtuse, either–she just genuinely doesn’t get why Curtis is upset, because everybody wants to have sex with her all the time!

Nathan runs through a parking garage and finds Kelly lurking in the darkness. She makes him not look at her when he gives her hat and wig back, and he does, which is sweet of him. He also doesn’t laugh at her, and apparently had no intentions to. These two. She tells him that her hair started falling out in the shower that morning, and the doctors couldn’t explain it.

“So what are we talking about here, are we talking about upstairs and down?” Nathan asks, totally straight-faced. Kelly says wot? “Do you have a bald fanny?” Nathan elaborates. Kelly slaps the shit out of him, then says okay when he offers to walk her home. SERIOUSLY, THESE TWO.

Simon does some smart scheming with Tony’s pilfered wallet.

Kelly walks across the estate and hears a bald man yelling and banging on Jodie’s door, and realizes that Jodie was somehow responsible for her own baldness. When she yells at Nathan about her plans to kick Jodie’s ass, I can make out “I’m gonna rip her tits off,” but the first part sounds like “I’m going to butter her,” which doesn’t seem right but I assume it’s some kind of slang. Nathan makes fun of the power to turn people bald. Big words from someone who can’t even telekinetically bust up a bottle.

More talk about what to do with the bodies. Simon’s like “Let’s just sink them bitches into the same place.” and Nathan gets snarky about it. Curtis and Kelly say it’s a good idea, and Nathan relents. The hipster shows up, prompting some eye-rolling from Alisha. He’s getting sort of pathetic now.

Curtis asks a brooding Alisha if they can borrow her dad’s car again. They argue, and Alisha tells him he should be grateful, seeing as how he‘s not famous and I guess can‘t pull chicks anymore, even though he‘s still really hot. She tries to make Curtis jealous by offering a park date to the passing hipster, and Curtis is like “what the fuck.” The hipster says okay, and off they go, taking Alisha’s dad’s car with them. Curtis also bails, so Simon suggests they use Sally’s car. Nathan is unclear on who Sally is. Simon doesn’t dignify that with a response.

Simon invisibles his way into Sally’s office to jack her keys, staring cutely at her as she talks on the phone and works on her computer. They stuff the bodies into the trunk. Simon tells Kelly he’s sorry she’s bald.

Sally comes out to her car just as they finish putting the bodies in, and they’re forced to duck out of the way. Nathan has totally left the keys in the ignition. You can’t trust this dick with anything.

The hipster is talking about conditions in Africa, like Alisha gives a shit. She has her own problems with totally being an unaware multiple rapist to deal with, dude. She gets fed up with him and goes to leave the car, but he grabs her arm and her power grabs him back. He tries to rape her. Curtis shows up with intentions of rescuing her, but accidentally touches her, too. Curtis and the hipster agree to take turns, and it’s intense and scary, but Alisha manages to kick some faces and get out of the car. Curtis goes after her.

Nathan leaves a message explaining the situation he totally got them into. They discuss how they’re going to prison. Nathan says she’ll do okay there, because she’s bald and “well butch.”

Curtis catches up with Alisha, and they talk to each other from ten feet apart. She finally seems to get it, all at once. Well, she gets something. I’m not sure if it’s the moral of the story, but this is how characters get depth and complication. It’s not always a straight trek up a mountain of enlightenment or whatever. Sometimes you go sideways or back down or get nailed by a landslide, and that’s how your character develops. Alisha’s introspection might not be exactly what she needs to be introspecting about, but it’s something. She’ll figure it out one day. Curtis is kind and patient and still giving her hope for a future of awkward non-contact sexytimes, because he really does like her damaged ass. Aaw. These two.

Nathan finally gets through to Curtis’s phone. The results are not good.

Sally talks to a hot detective, Pete, about how somehow Tony booked a flight to Spain so they think he‘s still alive. Pete gently suggests that maybe Tony’s left her. Sally’s actress does something cool with this scene where she somehow manages to go all steely while still looking sad and lost, and says Tony wouldn’t do that to her. And when she says that, we also know that he wouldn’t, and now we feel totally bad for Sally.

Our heroes are a paranoid wreck as they wait for Sally to come in the next day. It all looks like it’s going to be okay for like a minute before Sally catches a whiff of eau d’ dead boyfriend and looks in the trunk. Sorry, the boot. How did she go a whole day without smelling that?

Curtis turns back time, allowing Nathan to brick her windshield before she looks in the trunk. Sally yelling at him for acting like a moron will never get old.

“What the hell are you doing?” she yells.

“It’s just pure mindless vandalism!” Nathan says back. Sally asks if he’s mentally deficient. “If I were mentally deficient, I would have missed.” Can’t argue that logic. She orders him up to his office, giving the others the opportunity to stick the bodies back into the ground to be covered with cement and forgotten forever.

Kelly waits for Jodie to walk by on the estate and totally steals her wig, too. They stare at each other for a while, then have a bald chat on the bleachers where they really work through some shit. Jodie tells Kelly she has alopecia, and it kicked in when her dad left. Now whenever she gets upset, people go bald. Her ex-boyfriend left her when her hair started falling out, and now he’s gone bald a few times. She says she tries to stay away from him, and Kelly says to just bald him up. I agree. We should all have a friend like Kelly.

The hipster tries to make awkward talk with Curtis, then attempts a fist bump. Curtis isn’t having any of it.

Curtis and Alisha talk in the locker room, finally meeting each other on the same playing field. They talk about remaining monogamous to each other if they’re going to try it, then they talk about how the fuck are they supposed to do it. I AM ALSO EAGER TO KNOW. Alisha brings up “Phone sex, without the phone,” where they just stare at each other and masturbate. PROBLEM SOLVED. YES.

Rooftop episode closer. Everyone congratulates themselves on some corpses well disposed of, and they’re nice to Simon. He gets excited and says maybe they could all go out for a drink and dinner and then come back to his room to see his sweet-ass rocket ship wallpaper? But nobody’s having it. Curtis and Alisha go off to stare at each other and masturbate. Nathan leaves after insinuating that Simon was asking him out. Kelly peaces with an apology, because she can’t go out with her head like that. Simon goes invisible as the camera pulls back, and instead of him being a small part of a large frame, he’s no part of it at all.

NEXT UP: Possibly my favorite episode of the season! Curtis-centric, shows all of our heroes before their community service, and shit gets INTENSE.