Supernatural 7.08 – Time for a Wedding

But she don’t know you like I know you Slim, no one does, she don’t know what it was like for people like us growin up.

I think I’ll open this recap by saying I really liked the cake. And I liked the cake blowing up and morphing into the title card.

I thought the bride’n’groom cake topper tumble was unnecessary and cheesy.

Speaking of unnecessary things about this episode…

The episode opens with Dean confiding to a Vegas waitress/stripper and if the “you are here” at the bottom of the screen hadn’t informed me this was Vegas, I wouldn’t have thought. The waitress just isn’t what springs to mind when you think of a Vegas, Baby! exotic dancer. I’m wondering if she was running late and left her clip in extensions at home.

No matter, because Dean is digging her and he’s spilling his current life story of big brother woes to her, letting her and us know that apparently the Winchesters take time annually to hit Glitter Gulch, NV, only this year Sam’s dealing with his pesky post-Hell issues by foraging for nuts and berries in the desert wilderness and abandoned Dean to drown his sorrows in boobs and booze. In her place I for one would be backing away. Slowly. She’s into it though and is also imparting her sage grad student/cocktail waitress advice. I love when strangers do that! Their deep connection is broken when Dean gets a text from Sam with an address and the order to wear a suit.

We get a classic shot of Dean suited up and making his way through the creepily lit hallway of Little White Chapel, gun drawn, eyes steely, as he reaches for the door at the end of the hall Sam flings it open and ushers Dean in. He pins a blush’n’bashful carnation to Dean’s lapel, because pink is Sam’s signature color, and announces he’s found The One and is getting hitched. Dean is boggled.

Enter the bride, veil down, bouquet at the ready, dubstep remix of “Here Comes the Bride” playing in the background. It’s beautiful. But who could it be. Well, the “Then” segment totally spoiled it and before the veil is lifted we know it’s Becky, the little fangirl that could. Dean again, is boggled.

Cue wedding cake explosion title card.

Side note: I always enjoyed the character of Becky. She was a tongue in cheek rendition of a melting pot of fangirls. Nearly every hardcore fangirl could see a teeny bit of herself in Becky, even if they’ve never read a scrap of fanfiction, been to a convention or read a companion novel, something about Becky could be relatable. Why am I adding this sidenote? We’ll talk about that later.

Dean finds this turn of nuptial events to be strange and off putting. He demands an explanation, Sam over simplifies it, Dean is still not convinced. Not only are the odds of Sam or Dean maintaining a solid, healthy committed relationship really out of the box (even with each other), but females that attach themselves to Sam Winchester seem to end up on the dead side of life. That’s my delicate way of saying sexing up Sam Winchester leads to death. The permanent kind. Becky says she’s fully aware of Sam’s track record with the ladies and is going in with eyes wide open. I’m guessing since she knows the boys’ canon she’s got a head start.

Dean is nauseated and I do not blame him.

He makes his feelings known, but Sam is blinded by love and gently tells him to take some time to process. Dean calls Bobby and ever so casually breaks the news to Bobby’s voicemail.

Becky and Sam road trip it up to Becky’s home in Delaware, but first Becky makes a stop. At the venue of her upcoming high school reunion. From what I can gather, if the ex-prom queen stand-ins clever “Yecky Becky” taunts are any indication, Becky had a Carrie kind of high school life. Of course she did.

The snarky reunion runner’s found bullying memory is cut off at the knees when Sam slides in, all muscles and dimples and height and hair. She, like the writers of the episode, cannot wrap her head around a guy like Sam (homeless, insane, traumatized, wanted by the FBI) actually finding a gal like Becky (cute, blonde, perky, quirky) worthy of a second glance.

Now we meet Guy, Becky’s fellow erotic novel reading BFF. She introduces Guy to her shiny new husband and Guy looks overjoyed for her as makes his way into the venue to help with the reunion, but before he can make it to the door Becky rushes up and asks if he’s “got the stuff cough, cough”, that’s right Guy is not only a party planner, but also a Wiccan drug dealer.

Ah, domestic bliss. A store bought roast chicken and oft-covered pop love songs in the background. It’s just what Sam always dreamed of. That and an awkward seduction by a girl clearly not confident in the sexy lingerie she’s sporting. He’s pretty turned on… until a migraine hits.

If anyone out there was excited at the prospect of the show revisiting the long abandoned storyline of Psychic!Sam, well, let that go, because it’s just a post love roofie hangover coming in. Fear not though, Becky’s got a swig of hair o’ the dog and Sam slips back into his compliant, loving self.

Nope, that’s not skeevy at all.

Dean, in the interim, has discovered that there’s some freaky deathness happening in Becky’s city, so far a random, lottery winning pedestrian getting mowed down by a truck and a bench warming AAA ballplayer turned pro getting beaned to death by a ball pitching machine. Coincidence? Dean Winchester thinks not. And he’s right, some guy in a hoodie seems to be making it happen. Good thing it wasn’t the Wiccan drug dealer, right?


Dean heads over to Becky’s place, wedding gift in hand, and waves the white flag at Sam. It’s not that he’s on board, it’s that Dean “fake it to make it” Winchester needs his partner on the case with him. Too bad Sam is already working the case with his gumshoe bride. Becky is pacing the room, laying out the clues and details in what I believe is a poor, but enthusiastic approximation of Dean Winchester.

Dean has had enough, he accuses Becky of snagging Sam’s affections using nefarious means, Becky is offended, Sam lamely defends his new wife’s honor and Dean is using logic. He tells them the common thread between the victims is that their dreams came true just before they died.

Sound familiar? Crickets.

Dean breaks it down slowly: Becky wanted Sam, Becky somehow got Sam, Becky should be watching her back and Sam should be worried on her behalf.

The Rosen-Winchesters find all this sense that Dean is making to be an affront to their love. Sam tells Dean “Thanks for raising me and all, but I’ve moved on, thanks for all the fish!”

To add insult to injury, Bobby isn’t going to help Dean out with this, no instead he’s going to set Dean up on a hunter’s blind date so Dean can work the case. I’m so glad that Bobby is concerned for everyone involved in this mess. Dean meets up with Garth, who is about a 1/5 of Sam’s size and is in the growing phases of catching up to Sam’s hair. In the meantime, Sam has gifted Becky with his and hers fake IDs, because Sam is a classy husband. Sam also finds Becky’s diary filled with “Becky

Dean and Garth head to go investigate a new dream come true. A salesman vaults over his superiors for a cushy CEO position. Unfortunately, when they get there they find the Rosen-Winchesters are already on it and have interviewed the guy, Sam assures Dean that the guy is clean, then mocks his stand-in. Dean and Garth decide to interview the guy for themselves. Mr. CEO seems pretty perplexed about being named CEO; he didn’t apply for it, in fact he didn’t and doesn’t want it, but his wife is thrilled.


Dean and Garth (I’ve accidentally typed “Wayne and Garth” more times than I’d care to admit) run off to warn Mrs. CEO, but she’s not hearing. Until hoodie killer shows up and tries to drop a chandelier on her. She fesses up and tells them she sold her soul for her husband’s promotion.

Back at the Rosen-Winchesters’ humble abode, the happy couple continues to sift through the evidence, but at that moment Becky’s love potion starts wear off. Quick, to your purse Becky, you gotta dose him again. Wait, what’s that? It leaked and got soaked up by your purse lining? Oh, you poor dear. She’s losing Sam fast, so she does what any average gal would do, she grabs the sturdy, non-stick waffle iron her brother-in-law just gifted them and knocks her beloved out cold. She then takes him to an isolated cabin, ties him to the bed (after stripping him of his pants) and offers to help him pee into a bottle.

For those of you taking notes we’ve now had magical roofies, domestic abuse, kidnapping, blatant “homaging” of Misery, restraints, urinary awkwardness, and overall non-consensual ickiness. All toward a character that literally went through hell and is already mentally unstable. If Sam ends up with his feet cut off and his ankles cauterized I’m going to write an angry letter.

Becky’s parent’s cabin apparently has a great WiFi connection, because she’s able to get Guy on chat without any audio/video lag. She desperately begs her personal disco pharmacologist for more love potion and Guy agrees to meet her. Sam overheard everything and is pissed off, but Becky doesn’t have time for that so she stuffs a dish towel in his mouth and bounces off to re-up.

Over at pre-reunion central, Guy is sympathetic to Becky and offers up another bottle of brew, but! there’s a catch now, see first hit’s free, but this New Jack Swing event planner is an entrepreneur so the next one is gonna cost Becky. On the plus side, this isn’t something he mixed up in a bathtub down in Tijuana. No, no, this is the good stuff. Pure, uncut Colombian shizz. Guaranteed to last Becky’s lifetime. Speaking of Becky’s lifetime, Guy lays down the price: her soul. Becky’s no slouch, she gets it now, Guy is a crossroads demon. On the plus side, he offers Becky 25 years instead of the usual 10.

Becky’s got a moral dilemma on her hands. And she’s done so very well with morality issues thus far…

Thankfully, Dean and Garth are tracking Sam and Becky down. They don’t find them at Becky’s but that’s okay, because this gives them the chance to snoop for clues. They find Becky’s Twitter account, @superbeckyrosen, and even better, you get the grand tour of her place, which is rife with paraphernalia from the Supernatural book series she is a fan of. This segues into a scene of Becky back at the cabin, telling Sam about how this is not what she had in mind, her plan was to trot Sam around like a thoroughbred horse, because even though the book series isn’t popular, Sam is physically appealing by societal standards. Impressive swipe at both the fanbase and the show there writers, was there a 2-for-1 special at a writer’s workshop? Becky bares her heart to Sam, she puts it all out there, lays her head on his chest and tells him how hard life is for an epic loser like her and how she identified with Sam in the novels because of how hard he is on himself, calling himself a freak and an outcast. Yeah, being nerdy is definitely on par with being fed demon blood as an infant. Kindred spirits.

Becky tells Sam about how she found solace in online forums and message boards, formed connections with other fans, but then her 4th wall crumbled down when she met them in real life and started dating Chuck. Can you smell that superiority from the writer’s room? Oh, and the entire time Sam is still bound and gagged. She finally takes the gag out and instead of letting her have it, Sam consoles her by letting her know he thinks she’s better than all this.

We fade away from the Rosen-Winchesters and into a scene back at the reunion hall. Becky’s about to seal the deal with Guy, when in an unexpected twist she lights the carpet on fire. Behold, a flammable Devil’s Trap made out of blueberry vodka. Becky is very proud of how awesome she was at executing this plan. Sam glares at her slightly.

Turns out Guy was loopholing the contracts by having an underling, hoodie killer, do the murdering for him. All the souls in 7-10 business days instead of 10 years. Nice set up. Except, Crowley, King of Hell, is on to Guy thanks to hoodie killer giving him the heads up. Crowley is severely displeased. This kind of unethical hooey is unacceptable, crossroad deals are about trust. No trust, no future clientele.

Now that deals have been brought up, Crowley has a proposition for the Winchester brothers. If they give him Guy, he’ll reverse all the contracts in the city and continue keeping the demons of hell from bothering the Winchesters until they can clean up this Leviathan mess completely. The boys take the deal.

The time has come to handle this marriage elephant in the room. Everyone is gathered in Becky’s apartment to witness the traditional signing of annulment papers, Sam signs with enthusiasm, Becky is hesitant until Sam glares at her again. She signs the paper glumly. Sam takes pity on her, compliments her as best he can and tells her some day her prince with come. Immediately, the camera pans to Becky’s face and she’s giving Garth come hither eyes as Garth gazes at her while smoothing his hair down.

Dean promptly puts an end to that potential crazy train of hormones.

Outside Sam and Dean say their good-byes to Garth. Dean tells Garth that he didn’t suck and Garth claims that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever told him and tackle hugs Dean. Sam apologizes to Dean for telling him he didn’t need him anymore and that even though he’s dealing with intense mental issues, he’s pretty much fine and Dean can relax and focus on himself a bit more.

Dean agrees. And he looks the exact opposite of happy about it. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s worried about the other shoe dropping again or if he’s just bummed out that Sam doesn’t need him to hold his hand.

Back to my side note from above: I’m sure the level of sarcasm throughout this recap was obvious. I tend to not get to “one side or the other” about episodes and I can count on one hand the number of times any television show has offended me, nevermind that this is not Supernatural’s first meta episode by far. It is, however, the only one that bugged me. Becky was a solid character and what the writers did was the very definition of character assassination. They took a character that was designed to be a reflection of the fanbase and made her irredeemable. They packed the episode full of varying levels of abuse and then hand-waved it away because Becky is female. If this was Law and Order: SVU there is no way the episode would have ended with a male perp making googly eyes at Det. Olivia Benson, let alone have Benson entertain the romantic notion.

Not to mention that Sam, who is already teetering on the edge of insanity, was drugged, attacked, kidnapped and bound, but presents no signs of trauma or mental regression. And then of course there’s the part where Sam makes his abuser feel better about herself and Dean silently allows it. Let’s also add in that the moral of the story seems to be that geeky/nerdy outcasts should set their sights realistically, go for the other geeky/nerdy outcast, they’re attainable. To me, the episode felt… gross. And rude.

Of course, I’m not saying every fan should feel like I do. I am saying that it’s worth evaluating. I guess I have to give the writers a small kudos for that, they finally got a visceral reaction out of me. Well played, Supernatural. I guess.