To die to sleep, To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come…” (Hamlet, bitches!)
Yeah, Shakespeare it ain’t , but is this a crazy nightmare or dream sequence? Shane is being frantically pursued by a bunch of walkers. He seems to be without weapons, wait… Rick is there, uh oh, he’s not doing so well either, both of them are without their usual shotguns. This is looking bad. Randall, the kid with the skewered knee is crawling across the pavement seemingly injured or handcuffed. Things have gone WAY wrong. Boom! (roll intro credits) I hope that was a bad dream.
Now we’re driving down a lonely farm road in Shane’s sweet ass-Hyundai. It’s Rick and Shane in a buddy-flick kind of scene driving around with guns, oh, and Randall is stashed hostage-style, in the hatch-back trunk.
Rick pulls the car over and gets out. Shane asks what gives, as the plan was to go 18 miles out. It’s time to talk. Ooooof! Now? Here? Yep, Rick wants the truth about Otis. Shane comes clean. Wow! He actually admits killing the too-sweet-to-live bastard, saying it was him or Carl. Rick presses him a bit more. He wants Shane to understand that he knows about everything. He wants Shane to realize that he WILL do anything for his wife, his kid, and HIS baby! This gets Shane’s attention.
Rick is finally satisfied with Shane’s acceptance of the stock he’s just taken in his family lineage and they move on. They check on the boy who’s hooded Gitmo-style in the trunk space, complete with blaring headphones…Is that the Barney song I hear?…and keep driving.
As they drive, Rick’s going on about how they should save ammo and stay quiet by killing solo-walkers with their knives. He then starts to plan their winter as Shane gazes out the window at a well-dressed walker that’s ambling across a field. He’s not really paying attention to Rick’s fantasies of snowmobiles and safe winter conditions.
Back at Herschel’s farm, Maggie and Lori are chatting and making lunch for Post Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-Beth. Maggie is worried about Glenn and the idea that their relationship is compromising his manliness. Lori tells her to give him time, but to never tell him to “Man Up!” Good Advice from a woman who obviously knows how to dance around over-testosteroned men. Beth is looking better now, but hits Lori with a good question, “How could you do that?” How can you bring a baby into this horrible world? OUCH!
Having now traveled far enough from base camp, Rick and Shane start looking for a decent place to dump Randall off. The public works building ought to give him a sporting chance, so the boys pull over to dump the guy and possibly scavenge some supplies. Rick cuts his thumb with his knife, but it’s not a blood-brothers ceremony he’s up to, he’s luring a security guard–uniformed walker over to the fence. (Why do people in movies and on TV always cut their own hands and fingers?) The geek takes the bait and gets sent on to the next plane by Rick’s practiced stab-and-twist to the brain. Now it’s Shane’s turn. He copies Rick’s technique and kills another rent-a-cop–looking walker. Afterward, Shane can’t seem to find any bite marks on these two guys. Maybe they were scratched, they both wonder. (Yeah. And that bus was too clean. And why all the empty food cans? Is it airborne? Geez, guys. Stop cutting yourself, already. This zombie shit may be catching!)
They take the hood off of Randall and he starts trying to win them over and convince them not to ditch him. He finally drops a bomb, admitting that he knows Maggie. Oh Fuck! Now Rick is pissed! This kid knows where the farm is! They’ve been torturing him with the Barney theme song for nothing! This isn’t good. Shane knows how to fix it, he’ll just cap him Otis-style. That’ll fix it. Sorry about your luck, kid, but…Rick’s not having it. Shane really wants to kill this kid. He shot at you, Rick. He runs with another crew! He doesn’t respect the colors. Rick won’t have it. He wants to think about it, sleep on it.
Shane takes this opportunity to all but call Rick a big fucking pussy, willing to risk everything for this kid. He’s definitely not protecting Lori and Carl or THE BABY! (Whose baby?)
Smack! In a very sportsman-like move, Shane head butts the crap out of Rick and it’s on. This fight has been waaaay too long coming. Rick and Shane are beating the shit out of each other, like Roddy Piper trying to make them “Put on the Fucking Glasses!” (They Live, bitches!) Shane pulls a gun. Rick tackles him and it’s knocked away. Rick stands up as Shane grabs a enormous monkey wrench and heaves it at Rick’s head. But Rick, being a total badass (he’s still the sheriff damn it), dodges it and it goes crashing into the window of the building behind him. Rick stands there, looking at his reflection in the glass, looking very walker-esque with his grubby face, slack jaw, and bleeding lip and head. He’s just staring at himself, knowing he looks awful when, all of a sudden, a real, legit walker comes crashing through the window after him. Rick plays dead, while a mass of walkers tumbles from the window after Shane.
Oh crap, that opening scene wasn’t a dream, that’s what’s happening now.
Back at the farm, Lori is trying to get Beth to eat and not just to stare off into space and starve to death. Finally she gives up and takes the uneaten meal off to the kitchen to clean up. When she notices that the knife is missing from Beth’s place setting, Lori hurries back to the bedroom and demands that she give it up. No suicides on her watch!
She runs out to the RV and tells Andrea to find Maggie for some help. Once Maggie is on the scene, the two sisters argue like, well, sisters. But this time it’s not over something as trivial as a college-aged Maggie’s birth control pills. It’s over Beth’s right to die as she wishes. (*Sob!* They grow up so fast!)
Another fight starts when Andrea tells Lori she should have let the girl have the knife. Lori is pissed at Andrea for not helping out with all of the “womanly duties” around the farm. Andrea wants to kill walkers not cut mint sprigs for sweet tea! Lori says that her family has suffered, Rick is out there now, and Carl was shot! Andrea has finally had it with her and says for her to go ahead and tell the girl that everything will be okay, that she’ll find a husband, have a child…and a BOYFRIEND! Oooooh, score!! In your face, miss-bossy-thinks-she’s-the-first-lady skank!
Maggie and Beth are still fighting. Maggie wants her to live, Beth wants to die, her way: in bed, tonight, with MAGGIE BESIDE HER, IN A SUICIDE PACT. Maggie’s not all that into the idea…even though her sister has said the magic word, “Please!” Remember kids, “Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.” (Heathers, bitches!)
Back at the public works building, where I bet nothing actually works, the Duke boys are in quite a pickle.
The guys are worn out from fighting each other and now they have to run for their lives, for real. All the while, Randall is inching toward the knife that Rick dropped for him. He’s probably thinking, Gee, thanks buddy. Thanks for looking out for me.
Shane heads one way as Rick goes another. Randall gets his hands freed-up just in time to break a female walker’s arm and then stab her in the back of the head until it’s mush. This kid has skills!
Rick ends up under two double-deads as another walker dog-piles on top. He can’t get a well-aimed shot into the snarling guy on top so he resourcefully puts the gun into one of the double-dead guy’s mouth and shoots through the back of his head into the lively one on top. Smooth. And not gratuitous at all!
Shane is now inside the school bus keeping the walkers out until they have exact change. He cuts his left palm (of course) and smears more blood to bait another walker. (Don’t worry about zombie germs! I’m sure the door jamb that just amputated that pile of zombie fingers is now good and sterile.) Once the undead thing starts to lap up the blood, he jabs it in the top of the head. His second attempt causes him to lose his knife in a double-dead walker’s head. Shit!
Rick has found Randall and still won’t free him or give him a weapon, especially not a gun. The kid is ready to ditch Shane and figures Rick will be willing now that he has narrowly dodged getting his brains bashed out by Shane’s chunking of the pipe wrench. Rick has a plan.
Maggie and Andrea are discussing Beth, and Andrea convinces her to step outside to get some air. Andrea’s got this. She knows how bleak it can get. She tells Beth that “you just make room for it,” referring to the endless pain. “It doesn’t go away,” like Andrea does to add drama to her statement…
Shane watches the two guys leave out of the fence and is seemingly shocked by this behavior. C’mon guys! This is not a good time for tough love.
Maggie returns to find the bedroom empty. She can hear her suicidal sister smashing something glass and crying in the bathroom. The door is, of course, locked. Lori uses a fireplace poker to pry open the door. Beth has cut her wrist, but is standing there crying, applying pressure, and apologizing. She wants to LIVE!
Rick takes the weapons from the curiously unmaimed security guards that he and Shane killed earlier. Rick stares at them.
In the bus, Shane is still holding off the walkers that want in, but he’s realizing it’s a lost cause. Then Rick and Randall come to his rescue and he escapes out the back of the bus into the window of the little mint green SUV. A Hyundai never looked so good to anyone. As they back up to get out, they roll over a walker’s head. It’s squashed “like an overripe melon,” (The Stand, bitches!). Okay, NOW a Hyundai never looked so good.
Randall is understandably PUMPED at their daring rescue and get away, but Rick and Shane are just tired.
Andrea is happy to hear that Beth has made her decision to live known through a shallow cut to the wrist. Maggie doesn’t share her enthusiasm and banishes her from the house entirely. Now Andrea will have to shit in the woods…just like the rest of the boys.
Randall is not so pumped now. The boys have returned him to the hostage seat in the back of the car. The music is loud and he’s bound and hooded again. (I guess I don’t get why Rick is so angry with him. Shane just tried to kill him with his head, a gun, and a monkey wrench. He’s cool with him now. C’mon forgive and forget, right? He does lay it out for Shane one more time though. “That is MY wife. That is MY son. That is MY child.” Then Rick tells Shane that it’s time for him to come back and hands him his gun.
On the way back to the ranch, they see the same walker still ambling through the fields. Is he following the road? Is it time for another migration of undead like in the season opener on the roadway.
Ah, Jeez! Is it airborne? It’s airborne, isn’t it?
Do the undead migrate? Maybe our group needs to look into a cooler climate.
Why is everyone SO angry with Randall?