Supernatural 7.20 – The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

Last week we left the Winchesters trying to digest what to do with their very own ghost uncle while Bobby sat sullen and invisible in the backseat. This week, Sam and Dean are holed up in their cabin in the woods as Bobby walks them through Dick Roman’s big plans. Soylent Green is GMO people and Dick Roman is clearly into homages.

Bobby’s exposion is rudely interrupted by a beyond the grave e-mail from Frank Devereaux. Someone is trying to hack his hard drive and Frank is posthumously pissed about it. That hard drive is full of fun facts to know and tell, worst of which is the exact location of Dean’s most beloved possession. Dean will not allow Baby to be sniffed out and melted down for scrap.

On the plus side, Frank’s hard drive has a handy-dandy GPS in it. On the negative side, its location is Richard Roman Enterprises.

Meet Charlie Bradbury. Charlie is someone who doesn’t seem to hate going to work; she jams out with her apps out and dances in the elevator like no one’s watching. She clearly knows how to juggle a social life with work and hackery embezzlement. She’s simply well-rounded is all. She’s also a very stereotypical computer genius, complete with a quirky take on business appropriate attire, a Wonder Woman bobblehead, and a figurine of her patron St. Hermione on her desk.

The bestest thing about Charlie Bradbury is that she works for Dick Roman directly. Dick sees her specialness, notes that her specialness can be imitated but never duplicated, and commissions her to hack and decrypt the late, great Frank Devereaux’s hard drive. It’s not easy, but there’s never been a code that Charlie can’t crack. Which is lucky for her because she only has three days to keystroke her way in or else Dick’s gonna pick his teeth with her bones.

Charlie gets in it in under 24 hours. Because she’s brilliant. And curious. Curiosity leads her to peek into the file labeled “Richard Roman Enterprises” and find all of Frank’s intel on the Leviathans. Bad idea Charlie, what’s seen cannot be unseen. She’s not really buying Frank’s blend of insanity, until she witnesses her supervisor get cloned and eaten in the garage at Dick Roman’s order. See Charlie, this is what happens when you turn down Google and go work for Bing.

Meanwhile, in the middle of our flashback, we learn that Bobby offered to infiltrate RRE for the boys since every big mouth on the planet has Winchester Tiger Beat posters above their bed. Sam and Dean veto the plan; they refuse to risk Bobby going all short fuse around Dick Roman. Bobby is not a fan of getting the championship ring when all he did was cheer from the bench all season.

Sam and Dean use Frank’s stalkery paranoia to track down Charlie at her apartment. She’s immune to their rugged good looks and tries to take them out with her Vorpal sword. No luck, the replica is less than authentic. This gives them a chance to sprinkle Borax all over everyone and declare their humanity. They give Charlie the low down about Dick’s Leviathan crown. Sam is really impressed with how quickly she broke into Frank’s hard drive and asks her to hack Dick’s e-mail. Piece of cake, right? Well, the cake is a lie; Dick has his e-mail on an independent server that can only be accessed from his office or his phone.

Despite the fact that Sam tells her this isn’t her responsibility Charlie decides to fight the good fight for the moment and break into Dick’s office. Unfortunately, Charlie has never broken into anything tangible before and needs their help with a plan. The plan is Sam and Dean pull a Hardison and puppet Charlie through the mission from the safety of their spy van. Charlie also has unplanned back-up in the form of whiskey and the flask it’s in thanks to Bobby’s sneaky ways. Even with the shot of liquid courage, Charlie’s nerves are getting the best of her. Sam reminds her that Hermione Granger wouldn’t chicken out of busting into Azkaban if need be. Challenge accepted.

Side note: the “kick it in the ass” shout out was heart clenchingly good.

Charlie successfully Kim Possibles her way in, but there’s a security guard in her path. Dean tells her to rally and use her feminine wiles to weasel her way past; Charlie doesn’t think she can fake it for a man, since guys aren’t exactly her speed. Dean, who of course knows what cheesy lines boys will fall for when a pretty girl lies, feeds her what to say. It works. Not only does the oaf hang on her every word, he lets her into the restricted area because she asks nicely to use the fancy exec bathroom. Once she’s in Dick’s office she taps her way into his e-mails and backs them up on her jump drive.

She makes her way back to her cubicle to transfer the files to Sam and Dean. Leviathan!Pete is there to keep his eye on her, but he trusts her enough to leave her be. Charlie radios in to Sam and Dean and relays what she found in the e-mails. Dick Roman’s digs are done, it’s time to build. He’s also waiting for a very important briefcase that’s arriving in 42 minutes. Better grab your towels boys, you’ve got a mission to accomplish and if you want to survive out here, you’ve got to know where your towel is.

The boys need more time than that, so Charlie piggybacks the courier service and sends an urgent message to Dick that the shipment will be delayed by 30 minutes. That gives Sam and Dean just enough time to dress up as employees and play bait ‘n’ switch with the briefcase. While they take care of that, Charlie uses her metaphoric magnet and mindwipes all RRE and Winchester info from Frank’s hard drive. Good thing too, because Dick’s literally breathing down her neck to find out what’s on the hard drive.

Charlie shows him that there’s nothing there of interest, but Roman is suspicious. Bobby hangs invisibly in the background watching over her, but his animosity toward Dick is coming off him in waves. Thankfully, at that moment Dick gets a call that his eagle has landed so he heads into his office to check his mail. All he gets for his effort, however, is a Winchester-made Borax bomb hidden inside his James Bond suitcase. Dick Roman is not amused.

Charlie took that diversionary opportunity to get herself the hell out of Dodge and almost makes it, if it weren’t for the lockdown Dick demands. She tries to get out, but the doors are sealed. Bobby gets to use his ghost muscles to spiderweb the glass so the boys can crash through. He also uses the same strength to toss Pete out of the way… straight into Charlie, which tosses Charlie into the wall, breaking her arm in the process. Dean super cleans Pete, while Sam scoops Charlie up, but they’re at a loss on how to get away. Bobby to the rescue. He stays out of sight, but does his best impression of Elaine Benes’ “get out!” and chest slams Dick back a few times to buy them all some time.

They make their getaway moderately safely and the next morning drop Charlie off at the bus station with strict order to fall off the map. Charlie claims she’s no stranger to that. After all, anyone who thinks her name is actually Charlie Bradbury needs to put down their Mary-Sue naming book. Charlie has one request for them, never contact her again.

Sam and Dean have bigger fish to fry, but nevermind that, they discuss the Bobby issue instead. What do they do with a deceased father figure gone vengeful spirit?