Doctor Who 3.01 – Smith and Jones

Feel how my two hearts beat for you, baby!

Martha Jones, a young woman whose meddling family has obviously elected her Chief Mediator, answers multiple calls while walking to work.  The brouhaha isn’t unusual (a party, dad bringing his girlfriend, everyone up in arms).  But a strange man who accosts her saying, “Right, so, you see?” and brandishing his undone tie is. The Doctor does Crazy Man on the Street so well!  He makes the creepy and unfriendly head-to-toe leather-clad motorcycle messenger who nearly knocks Martha over seem like a normal bloke.

After getting zapped by her locker (hmm), Martha joins other medical students in rounds with their consultant mentor, Mr. Stoker.  First is an innocuous lady, suffering from salt deficiency.  Next is the Doctor, admitted yesterday so he couldn’t possibly be the man who jabbered at Martha this morning.  Martha listens to his two hearts beat; he gives her a saucy wink (you little flirt, Doctor!).

The Doctor’s chart gives Stoker such a zots!  Everyone’s getting electric zaps this morning, it turns out.  Stoker notes a storm’s moving in, causing the Doctor to reminisce about his pal Ben Franklin, who got him electrocuted.  “Perhaps a visit from psychiatric,” Stoker murmurs as his group moves to the next patient.

Martha’s sister calls for more family crisis confab; Martha’s solved it all, but her sister doesn’t listen because of the rain.  It’s raining over the hospital only, and funny thing, but the rain’s going up.  The building shakes, windows break, and the entire hospital’s on the moon!  Cue MASSIVE FREAKOUT, while only Martha seems to remain mostly calm.  Bystanders on Earth stand stunned around the smoking now-vacant lot.

Martha goes to open a window; when her colleague frets, she argues there’s air outside, or they’d have already been sucked out.  “Very good point; brilliant, in fact,” the Doctor says, who quizzes Martha as though he’s leading her in rounds.  Anywhere they can pop outside for a bit?  There’s a patient’s lounge.  “We might die,” the Doctor observes.  “We might not,” Martha answers.  Eee, he looks so proud!  He’s loving playing mentor to her, you can tell.

“It’s beautiful,” she breathes when they’re outside on the lounge.  So many people want to go to the Moon, and here they are. “Standing in the Earthlight,” the Doctor agrees.  When she asks what happened, he turns it back on her (he’s like a proud teacher with a star pupil), and she immediately says it’s got to be extraterrestrial (and remembers all the aliens on Earth situations Donna never noticed, including the one that killed her cousin, Addy, at Canary Wharf).

By the way, it’s not actually Smith, he explains; it’s Doctor. Same for Martha, she says, pleased, as soon as she finishes her exams. Martha face-scrunches at his insistence he’s just “the Doctor”; she refuses to call him that, saying the title’s earned.  Meanwhile, they’ve figured out the hospital’s in a force field.  With limited air, they’ve got to figure out a way home.  Suddenly cylinder spaceships appear overhead, landing and releasing marching combatants.  The Judoon, the Doctor says.

Miss Finnegan (salt deficiency case) asks if Mr. Stoker can help her.  He’s a bit busy, what with being on the moon and all, and never going to see his daughter again. She soon introduces him to the motorbike messengers, who hold him down.  She needs blood, “specifically yours.”  Poor Mr. Stoker, a victim of his allusive name’s relationship to the vampire genre, is forced to relinquish his consultant’s “blood full of salty fats and vintage wines and all those Michelin star sauces”; Finnegan produces a straw to suck him up.

The marching aliens doff their helmets, revealing Rhino creatures. “You will be catalogued,” they announce; they mark humans with an “X” on their hands.  From the balcony, the Doctor coos over the hospital’s “little shop,” finally explaining the upwards rain was an H2O scoop to move the building to the Judoon’s jurisdiction.  If they’re separating non-humans, it’s bad news for the Doctor. “Oh, you’re kidding me,” Martha says, adding “Stop looking at me like that!” when the Doctor arches an eyebrow at her. He’s a flirty one this ep, isn’t he?

The Judoon are merciless, charging, judging, sentencing, and executing a man who resisted. “Justice is swift,” they growl to their med student guide.  Meanwhile, the Doctor’s hacked hospital computer files with his Sonic Screwdriver.  Drat, the Judoon Platoon on the Moon has stupidly wiped all the records.  How else will they find the shape-changer they’re hunting?  Martha rushes off to consult Mr. Stoker, while the Doctor tugs his hair straight up to think better (and looks adorably unkempt).

What are you looking for in a man, Martha Jones? Someone who makes crazy faces, goes barefoot on the Moon and yanks his hair up on end? You’ve found him!

Martha bursts in on Finnegan sucking up Stoker; she rushes from the room while Finnegan orders the Biker Boys to kill her.  She runs to the Doctor, who restored the back-up files.  “Run,” the Doctor cries as Finnegan and her boys approach, grabbing Martha’s hand (you know you’re a companion when the Doctor takes your hand!).

“When I say now, press the button!” The Doctor readies an X-ray machine while Martha scans the manual.  One Biker Boys gets the brunt of the burst, though we briefly see the Doctor’s skeleton illuminated at this 5,000x dosage.  The felled Biker was a Slab, a slave drone made entirely of leather.  “Someone’s got a fetish,” the Doctor notes slyly.  I swear, he drank up a whole liter of Flirty Eyebrow-Waggling Hair-Tugging Tonic today.

The Doctor pshaw’s the roentgen radiation.  He hops and dances about, shaking it to his shoe before tossing the shoe in the bin.  “You’re completely mad,” Martha says.  The Doctor agrees he’ll look daft wearing only one shoe, so shucks the other.  “Barefoot on the moon!” he says proudly.  I love that the solution to dangerous radiation is wriggling.

As Martha reacts to the horrid scene she witnessed, the Doctor laments the loss of his Sonic Screwdriver, burnt by the radiation.  “Doctor!” Martha snaps to get his attention.  “You called me Doctor!” he says fondly before thinking through the info Martha’s provided to realize Finnegan’s an internal shape-changer.  As he’s speaking, the Judoon catalogue Finnegan mistakenly as human, due to her assimilation of Stoker’s blood.

The other Biker Slab passes by; they travel in pairs.  “What about you?” Martha asks, prying if he’s got back-up or a partner.  “We’re stuck on the moon running out of air with Judoon and a bloodsucking criminal, you’re asking personal questions?” he objects. Suddenly he’s scanned as non-human by the interplanetary thugs.  They run, finding Martha’s colleague helping oxygen-starved patients. How’s Martha doing in the thinning air?  Running on adrenaline, she says. “Welcome to my world,” the Doctor mutters.

What the hell will a plasmavore surrounded by police do next?  Spotting the MRI, the Doctor exclaims, “She’s as clever as me!  Almost.” Martha’s got to distract the Judoon for him.  “Just forgive me for this,” he tells her. “It could save a thousand lives. It means nothing. Honestly, nothing.”  He kisses her long and hard.  Oh noooooo! “That was nothing?” Martha gasps as he runs.

Yeeaah, I think the Doctor’s view of Martha as protégé is getting some interference by her singing, “You Sexy Thing!” at him.  However, generically she’s reading it right — usually the whole, “Duck the baddies by making out!” tactic shows genuine attraction between the two participants.  And he’s been flirting to beat the band with her.  Doctor, I’m holding you accountable here!

Pretending innocent shock and hysteria, the Doctor gets Finnegan to tell him her plans of frying everyone’s brain stems but hers (ouch).  Back in the corridor, the Judoon detect non-human traces on Martha (that’s Doctor saliva, baby!); they authorize full scan on her.  The Doctor feigns shock at Finnegan’s revelation she’s an alien and soon gets her to say smugly she’s “hidden”.  He purposefully blathers how the Judoon are increasing their scans; taking him for a human, she gets ready to consume him so she’ll appear non-alien.

The Judoon rush in, scanning the Doctor, who has been all drunk up with Finnegan’s Straw of Doom, as deceased.  When they re-scan Finnegan, she tests as “non-human,” having assimilated the Doctor’s blood.  Awww, he’s so smart!  *jumps about*  “He gave his life so they’d find you,” Martha says, stunned, while the Judoon accuse Finnegan of eating up some kind of Shirley Temple Princess out of pure spite.  “You’ll burn with me, burn in hell!” Finnegan shouts as the Judoon exterminate her.

Uh, some help with the MRI machine Finnegan set for brain-stem frying, Judoon?  Nope, not our jurisdiction!  They prepare to evacuate.  Martha uses her last breath to give the Doctor CPR; his traces in her mouth revive him. “Scanner! She did something!” she manages before passing out.  “Sod it!” the Doctor exclaims; his burnt-out Sonic Screwdriver won’t help.  He unplugs the MRI (wow, simple, that!) and stops the upcoming Mega Zots.  But oxygen levels fall near zero.

“Come on, reverse it,” the Doctor gasps, carrying unconscious Martha to watch the Judoon depart. Soon water hits the windows, and “It’s raining on the moon!” he exults. Lightning and thunder send the hospital exactly where it should be on Earth.  Martha’s  sister embraces her as the Doctor, standing by to watch the scene, disappears.

Getting ready for her family’s party, Martha hears Morgenstern, another intern, interviewed.  “I feel uniquely privileged,” he says (voicing Martha’s thoughts).  “I saw the Earth, suspended in space, and it all just proves Mr. Saxon right.”  Wait, who now?  Say, didn’t we hear Mr. Saxon mentioned as approving orders to fire on the Racnoss in “The Runaway Bride”?  *arches eyebrow, Doctor-style* “We’re not alone in the universe,” Morgenstern continues.  “There’s life out there. Wild and extraordinary life.”

Outside the party, Martha’s family is in total emotional meltdown.  Martha spots the Doctor in an alleyway; when he turns, she follows. “I went to the Moon today,” she tells him; her family  argued over the truth of it, but he shared the experience.  It was “a bit more peaceful than down here,” he observes, because her family is seriously nutso.

“Fancy a trip?” he asks.  Oh, she couldn’t possibly, not with bills, exams, her family…  The Doctor deploys the same lure he used on Rose, mentioning the TARDIS travels through time.  That gets all the girls.  Ha, okay, his “proof” explains the tie thing from that morning.  Well, why didn’t he warn Martha away from work?  “Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden,” he says.  “Except for cheap tricks.”  Hee!

Not a lot of room in that wooden box.  “We’d be a bit intimate,” Martha says.  He lets her in and she does the whole boggling, “It’s bigger on the inside!” thing.  Does he run the ship on his own?  Sometimes he has guests, he says awkwardly, mentioning Rose, “a friend of mine.”  “We were together,” he says softly, and awww, poor Doctor!

Not that Martha’s a replacement for Rose! He’s defending against Donna’s accusations, but perhaps also protecting himself in advance, refusing to bond so intensely with Martha as he did Rose.  She gets one trip because he likes being on his own.  “You’re the one that kissed me,” she says.  “It was a genetic transfer!” he objects.  She only goes for humans anyway, she jokes.  When he says, “Good,” though, her face falls.  Oh Martha.  You’ve got a schoolgirl crush bad, girl!

Don’t fall for this tight-suit wearing rakish Time Lord! It means nothing when the Doctor slips you the tongue.

The Doctor rattles off incomprehensible commands, ending with, “Ready?”  “No,” Martha says.  Off they go anyway!  “Blimey, it’s a bit bumpy!” Martha cries as they get jolted about and hang onto the console.  “Welcome aboard, Miss Jones,” the Doctor says, extending one hand.  “My pleasure, Mister Smith,” she answers, shaking his hand. It’s playful and cute, but to me it also signals he intends a bit more formality for them (unlike the easy hand-holding he always did with Rose).

Ahwooo hee awahooo ahoo!  I like Martha so far!  She’s very clever and a bit playful, though her romantic leanings toward the Doctor worry me a bit for her sake.  He’s rebounding hard from losing Rose (however you define that relationship).  And though Ten’s better with human nonsense than Nine, he’s still not emotionally sharp enough to see she’s falling for him and let her know where he stands.  Ah, well, let’s see what kinds of fumbling and mistakes they both make.  See you next time for the “The Shakespeare Code”!