Teen Wolf – 1.07 – Night School

Picking up where we left off last week, Scott and Stiles have hidden themselves in the empty high school to hide from the ravenous crazy Alpha. They’re totally weaponless and unable to lock the doors behind them, which is surely not the best of situations. Stiles spots the discarded bolt cutters on the sidewalk outside and darts outside to grab them while Scott flails with dismay.

Just as Stiles has tiptoed dramatically down the short flight of steps toward the bolt cutters, the CGI RidicWolf Alpha creeps out from behind Stiles’ jeep. Scott sees it and immediately starts banging on the door and shouting Stiles’ name, totally distracting him and WASTING PRECIOUS ESCAPING TIME. The Alpha charges at Stiles with a hungry snarl.


Stiles makes it back inside the school with seconds to spare, and he and Scott jam the bolt cutters into the door handle, barring it closed. Then, of course, they pop up like meerkats to peep nervously out the window. The Alpha is nowhere in sight, probably because it is smart enough to realize that there are hundreds of other ways it can get into the school and sneak up behind them and feast upon their hearts or something. Sigh.

They back away from the door as they realize that a simple pair of bolt cutters is not likely to have much stopping power against the Alpha, and stare helplessly down the dark spooky corridor. What to do? The sound of the Alpha howling in the not-so-distant distance gets them moving pretty quickly.

Stiles and Scott flee into a nearby classroom and get ready to barricade the door with the teacher’s desk. Stiles stops them for a moment to flail and complain about how he’s sure that Scott’s boss, Dr. Deaton, is the crazy murdering Alpha who currently plans to devour them. Scott doesn’t want to believe it, though. Stiles steamrolls right over his protests, ranting about how Deaton disappeared from Derek’s car seconds before the Alpha appeared and most probably killed Derek to death. Scott doesn’t want to believe that Derek is dead either, but all blood-spurty evidence seems to point to the contrary.

Stiles’ new plan is threefold: they escape the school; they run for the jeep; and later, Scott should probably quit his job working for the crazy murderous Alpha. GOOD PLAN. They make for the classroom windows, but alas, the windows don’t even open. Scott ponders the wisdom of breaking the windows, even though it will make a lot of noise and attract the Alpha’s attention, and decides it’s not only their best bet but their ONLY bet.

Before any window smashing can occur, Scott notices something odd about Stiles’ jeep—the hood is all dented and bent and wonky. Hm. Almost like someone deliberately did something to disable it. As Stiles and Scott stare in confusion at the car, a nearby window explodes inwards: the Alpha has ripped out the jeep’s battery and thrown it at them. Oh dear.

Scott and Stiles are now in full-on wild, starey-terror mode. Stiles wants to move away from the broken window, but Scott’s worried that the Alpha might be right outside. OF COURSE he’s right outside, Scott, that’s how he threw the battery through the window. Nevertheless, Scott is determined to peek.

o hai

He peeks and he peeks but there doesn’t seem to be anything or anyone lurking in a menacing fashion. Oh Scott. You’re a werewolf now, ffs. Use your other senses!

Scott sort of arbitrarily decides that they should get going, and they head back out into the hallway. Stiles thinks they should try to find a room without any windows, but there aren’t going to be any in a high school, now are there. They decide to hide in the locker room, which will at least only have small windows that are high up.

Wait, did Scott just think of something clever, all by himself, and under pressure? OH MY MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE PUPPY. I want to give him some chewies and pat his fluffy little head.

Our derpy duo scampers into the locker room, and Scott, in a further moment of previously unheard of critical thinking, instructs Stiles to immediately call his dad the Sheriff, because surely once the parking lot is full of cop cars and sirens and armed men, the Alpha will run away into the night, right? Stiles is more concerned with the distinct possibility that the Alpha will freak out and tear everyone into tiny squishy red pieces instead.

In despair, Scott returns to his original plan of just getting out of the school and running away in a screamy stampede. Unfortunately, there’s nothing around the school for at least a mile in every direction, so they’ll be running blind through the woods. At night. With an Alpha on their trail. Hm. What about Derek’s car?

They decide that Derek’s car is the new most bestest plan ever, aside from the gruesome task of searching his presumably dead body in order to find the keys. Scott insists that they take Derek’s body with them when they flee, and Stiles, while somewhat revolted, agrees readily.

As Stiles reaches for the locker room door, Scott pulls him back—he’s pretty sure he’s heard something. They back away from the door at the sound of approaching footsteps, and somehow decide that stuffing themselves into lockers is the very most cleverest hiding idea ever. Oh boys.

A shadowy figure enters the locker room, and from their locker-stuffed vantage points, neither Scott nor Stiles can get a good look at the intruder. Eventually, the figure passes in front of Scott’s locker just as he’s got his face pressed up against the door, desperate for a glimpse. The intruder’s eyes do a double-take of surprise and Scott’s locker door is yanked open—it’s the janitor, and he’s even more scared than they are.

Stiles tumbles out of his locker and joins Scott in trying to shush the janitor, who clearly thinks they are huge fucking demented weirdos playing a stupid prank. Despite their increasingly panicked and emphatic shushery, the janitor will NOT BE SILENCED! Oh man, is he irritated, and he shouts at them for a moment or two before shoving them out the locker room door.

Stiles begs the janitor to let them explain, but he’s completely fed up with their shit. Before any further explaining or ranting can take place, the janitor is yanked from behind back into the locker room, and the door is slammed shut behind him. Naturally, the janitor is now torn to screamy pieces by the Alpha. Scott tries to yank the locker room door open and maybe try to save the dude, but Stiles drags him away and they run like the dickens.

As they flee, the janitor is thrown up against the locker room door with such force that the door smashes off its hinges and onto the floor. The Alpha then drags the janitor back into the locker room, presumably to play with his innards and generally be gross and creepy.


Allison’s standing outside her house at the end of the driveway, looking nervous and impatient. Her phone rings, and it’s Jackson and Lydia calling to see if Scott has shown up yet to pick up Allison for their double date. Well, he’s only 26 minutes late? Lydia snippily lectures Allison on the slippery slope of boyfriend lateness, and Jackson announces that they’re coming to pick her up themselves. Even as she protests, Jackson’s Porsche pulls up at the end of the driveway.

With one last glance down the street, Allison heads over to the car. As she’s about to get in, her phone trills with an incoming message alert. Is it Scott, explaining why he’s so late? Well, not exactly. Allison’s expression goes from mild nervousness to deep concern.


Scott and Stiles run toward a back door of the school, but it’s been cleverly blocked shut by a heavy dumpster. Oh come on, are you telling me that Scott with all his wolfy strength can’t shove it out of the way? Hmph.

While fleeing down another hallway, Stiles descends into crazed babble mode, ranting about how much he doesn’t want to die in SCHOOL of all places. Scott tries to reassure Stiles that the Alpha wants him and not Stiles, because the Alpha is stronger with a pack. Surprisingly enough Stiles does not find this at all comforting. As they enter a hallway that is pretty much entirely made of windows, Scott stops, alarmed, when he spots the Alpha on the roof across the courtyard. And of course, the Alpha spots them right back.

The Alpha throws itself across the courtyard and smashes through the window behind Stiles and Scott, who are now galloping away like terrified deer. The Alpha snarls dementedly and pursues them.


Outside, Jackson’s car pulls up and Jackson lets Allison out of the back seat. Lydia stays inside the car, looking extremely put-upon. Jackson can’t figure out what the hell is going on here, so Allison shows him the message she received from Scott—it just says “meet me at the school, URGENT.”

Lydia helpfully points out that the school doors are all locked at night, but the front door is, of course, wide open, because it’s a HUGE TERRIBLE TRAP OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

I don’t think they’re listening to me.

Lydia’s constipated look could rival Derek’s usual expression any day of the week, wow. Jackson and Allison approach the school, Jackson offers to go inside with her, but she’s pretty sure it’s okay for her to go alone. Jackson really looks like he wants to tell her to be careful, which Allison seems to find pretty adorable, but instead he offers her a flashlight. Lydia sulks mightily and gives them both a venomous stare. As Allison walks toward the front door, Jackson smiles after her kind of fondly, until he catches Lydia’s crazy murderglare. Oopsy.


Allison enters the school accompanied by what is certainly the most hilariously sinister haunted house music in the entire world, I am sure. Just as she’s walking up the first short flight of steps, the front door swings shut behind her.



Scott and Stiles have scampered into a different, unused-looking section of the locker room/school basement. The Alpha seems to have slowed down his pursuit of them, preferring to toy with them a little and scare the crap out of them more thoroughly, I guess. Eventually Stiles realizes that they have to do something a little more proactive than just flee in terror. When they spot the heavy steel door to the boiler room, an idea begins to form.

The Alpha is lurking closer, and Stiles very carefully takes his car keys out of his pocket. Just before the Alpha turns the corner, Stiles flings the keys into the boiler room, and the Alpha pounces, following the noise. Scott and Stiles slam the boiler room door shut behind it, and wedge a heavy desk between the door and the opposite wall, trapping the Alpha inside.

They’re practically giddy with relief that one of their plans has finally worked. Yay!


Outside, Jackson and Lydia are sitting in Jackson’s car. Jackson still looks kind of concerned, and Lydia still looks pretty irritated. It turns out that Lydia’s irritation is more like a carefully concealed terror, because when Jackson notices the crumpled hood of Stiles’ jeep and gets out to investigate, Lydia freaks out like whoa. Clearly she’s still not over what happened the last time Jackson left her alone in the car.

Instead, they both get out to go have a look. Up close, the damage is even worse than Jackson expected; there’s also some deeply gouged claw marks on the hood. Lydia continues acting hugely oppressed by the entire world, because by god that flawless shell of indifference is her most powerful shield, but Jackson knows right away that something serious is wrong. He turns to go into the school and find Allison, and there’s nothing else for Lydia to do but follow.


Downstairs, Scott and Stiles finish basking in the glow of their temporary success and decide to head for the hills. Stiles stops for one last little peek into the boiler room, because he wants one good look at the Alpha. Really, Stiles? Really?

Stiles climbs up onto the desk and peeks through the boiler room door’s tiny window, halfassedly taunting the grumpy Alpha. Even as the Alpha draws a clawed wolfy paw across the tiny window, Stiles shouts nervously that he’s not scared, okay? NOT SCARED AT ALL!

He is immediately a lot more scared when the Alpha smashes through the shitty acoustic tile ceiling and escapes from the boiler room embarrassingly easily. The soft tiles directly above their heads begin to bulge and sag from the Alpha’s weight.



Allison’s in the front hall of the school with her flashlight, nervously calling Scott’s name. At the far end of the hall, unseen by Allison, the Alpha, down on all fours, crawls out into a patch of light and checks her out before hiding just behind the far side of the door. Allison heads down the hall in the Alpha’s direction, still calling Scott’s name.


Back over by the front door, Jackson and Lydia are having yet another argument—Lydia’s decided that she needs to go to the bathroom, and this is certainly more important than finding Allison and Scott. Jackson just huffs impatiently and waits for her outside the bathroom door.

Jackson glances down to the end of the hallway and sees something lurking; it’s the Alpha, standing up on its hind legs like a human. At first, Jackson thinks it’s Scott, and calls out to it. When there’s no response, Jackson takes a closer look and immediately realizes that something is Very Wrong Indeed. In a less confident tone, he calls out Derek’s name, and the Alpha drops down to all fours and basically saunters away super casually. Jackson makes Scott’s trademarked confused puppy face with a side order of WTF OMG HALP.

ruh roh

Presumably having heard Jackson calling Scott’s name. Lydia walks out of the bathroom. Once she sees the expression on Jackson’s face, she turns to look down the hall. But there’s nothing there. Jackson rubs at the claw marks on the back of his neck and mumbles that he hasn’t found Scott and Allison after all.


Allison’s wandering around the pool area now, still searching for Scott. She’s starting to look almost just as frustrated and annoyed as she is concerned. Suddenly, her phone rings with an incoming call.

On the other side of the basement, Scott overhears the ringing. Of course Scott can instantly identify the ring as being Allison’s phone—he could probably pick the sound of her sneeze out of a crowd of 100 seasonal allergy sufferers. How creepily adorable.

Allison answers the phone and tells Jackson that she can’t seem to find Scott anywhere, and says that she’ll meet them upstairs. She’s gone maybe two steps when her phone rings again, and this time it’s Stiles’ phone. Allison answers, deeply confused by this turn of events, and is even more confused to hear Scott’s voice on the other end of the phone. Scott demands to know where she is, and when he hears that she’s down by the pools (and therefore by the locker rooms) he tells her to get to the lobby right away.

Scott, Stiles, and Allison meet up in the front hall, and Scott’s all freaked out, wanting to know what Allison is doing there. She shows him the message she received from him earlier, and while Scott flails over the message that he clearly didn’t send, Jackson and Lydia show up as well.

Before anyone can explain what the hell is going on, the Alpha growls from up inside the ceiling. Lots of panic, lots of fleeing, and the Alpha smashes down onto the floor.

They make it through the heavy double doors to the cafeteria at the end of the hall, and Scott and Jackson begin barricading the doors shut with everything they can find—chairs, desks, anything. Lydia and Allison are screaming for explanations and doing the best they can to help, and in the chaos, no one is listening to Stiles. And Stiles has something pretty important to point out; namely, that the cafeteria has a 20-foot wall of easily smashed windows.

In the silence that follows, Allison turns to Scott for some kind of explanation, but he has nothing for her but meebly terror. Stiles jumps in to say that someone killed the janitor, like that’s going to help anything. Instead, Lydia and Jackson and Allison are now even more worried and scared, and they demand to know who the killer is.

Scott makes the inexplicably terrible decision to announce that the alleged killer is Derek Hale. Stiles and I both cannot believe this crap.


Jackson and Allison don’t seem to follow Scott’s line of thinking, until Scott further alleges that Derek was the one who killed everyone so far: his own sister, the bus driver, the video store clerk, everyone. And if they don’t escape ASAP, he’s going to kill all of them next.

Way to throw the maybe dead dude under the bus there, Scott.


Jackson insists that they call the cops right the hell now, but Stiles flat out refuses. He’s not about to let his dad get hurt or killed by the Alpha, who he knows full well isn’t Derek. Jackson looks at him like he’s completely insane, and before they can start bellowing at one another, Lydia takes out her own phone and calls the police her own damn self.

Unfortunately, the Alpha is a lot smarter than anyone anticipated—it seems that the police received a tip that there would be a lot of prank calls that evening about a break-in at the high school. They hang up on Lydia, much to her total disgust.

No one has any idea what to do next, so they decide to panic just a little bit more and interrogate Scott as to why Derek would do any of this in the first place. Since it’s all an ill-conceived lie, Scott has no answers ready for anyone. He’s upset enough to actually snap at Allison angrily, and she turns away from him sadly.

Stiles drags Scott off for a little chat about why he’s blaming Derek for everything. Scott’s way more concerned about having just shouted at Allison, because her hurt feelings are totes more important than their impending gruesome deaths. SIGH.

Scott and Stiles whisperfight for another moment or two, and then Jackson’s had enough of their crap. He tells Stiles to call his dad personally and get some policemen with big guns and decent aim over to the school right away. Stiles continues to hate the idea of endangering his dad, and when he balks, Jackson lunges at him to grab the phone. Stiles decks him quite masterfully, and as Jackson falls down, Allison runs over to see if he’s okay. Scott and Lydia are horrified by this turn of events.

Stiles finally relents and calls his dad, but the call goes straight to voicemail. Right as Stiles is leaving a nonspecific but urgent message, the Alpha begins slamming itself against the barricaded door. Stiles remembers that there’s a door in the back of the kitchen that leads to a stairwell up to the next floor, and, agreeing that upstairs is better than waiting to die in the cafeteria, everyone runs like hell. Just in time, too, as the Alpha smashes its way into the cafeteria like a crazed smashy thing.

Wouldn’t it be funny if all it wanted was some tater tots?


They reach the second floor and begin trying every classroom door, but they’re all locked. They burst into the first unlocked classroom they find—the chemistry lab. Scott hilariously wedges a small stool under the door handle, and everyone stops for a moment to stare at it in tragic disbelief. No, Scott, your tiny little chair isn’t going to keep the giant crazy murderous werewolf out. You derpface.

lol irl

Everyone goes super quiet as they hear the ridiculously slow and menacing footsteps of the Alpha approaching. It passes by the classroom, seemingly unaware of them lurking inside. There’s a tiny brief moment of relief before they realize two things: first, they’re not all going to fit in Jackson’s car; and second, they’re not going to be able to get to the car without drawing the Alpha’s attention.

There’s a door at the back of the classroom which leads up to the roof, from where they can go down the fire escape to the parking lot. Unfortunately, it’s locked with a deadbolt and there’s no key. Scott further expands his critical thinking capabilities by realizing that the janitor would totally have a key. So he’ll just sniff out the scent of the janitor’s dead body and grab the key! Easy peasy!

Stiles thinks Scott is the dumbest dumbass ever to dumb, but since he can’t come up with any better plans, he doesn’t try to stop Scott. Allison tells Scott he’s crazy to go out there without some kind of weapon, so Scott grabs a little blackboard pointer with a pointy little hand on the end and waves it around experimentally. Oh Scott McCall, you are a precious gift.

Surely there’s something better they could use, right? Of course there is, and my perfect genius princess Lydia knows exactly what it is—the volatile chemicals stored in a nearby cabinet. In fact, there’s everything they’ll need to make a self-igniting Molotov cocktail. Stiles can’t decide if he’s terrified, impressed, unbearably turned on, or a delightful combination of all three.

I assume it’s the latter.

Jackson has no idea what all these big words mean, and everyone else stares at Lydia like she’s just grown a second head. She pretends that she “read it somewhere” and moves on. Jackson pouts dramatically and then smashes open the storage cabinet.

CHEMISTRY MONTAGE! In which Lydia is magnificent and brilliant and everyone else is not.

Lydia hands Scott an Ehrlenmeyer flask full of liquid and prepares to send him on his way. Allison can’t let him go out there into what she assumes is certain death, and tearfully pleads with him not to go. She realizes that Scott’s going to go look for the keys no matter what she says, so she drags him in for a sobby dramatic kiss good-bye.


Scott shuffles out into the hallway quietly and heads for the stairs. Man, he is the worst at stealth. You’re never going to earn your ninja merit badge like that, Scott.

He gets downstairs and catches the scent of something interesting, and of course he decides to follow it. Oh Scott, why. He ends up in the gym, and creeps around to the back of the bleachers: the source of the intriguing scent appears to be all the way at the farthest end. Wow, there’s totally nothing about this scenario that says “really obvious trap,” right?


Scott stands there for a moment derpily, and is startled by a bloody drip from above—the Alpha has wedged the janitor’s body into the bottom of the upper tier of bleachers. Eeew.


Back upstairs, Allison is losing her shit completely over Scott’s abandonment. Jackson’s right there to comfort her, though, despite Lydia and Stiles’ gobsmacked stares. With Jackson holding her hands, Allison is finally able to calm down a little.


Scott sees the janitor’s huge set of keys dangling from the body’s belt loop, and sets down his flask of explosives to climb up and grab the ring. It’s frustratingly just out of reach, and just as Scott’s fingertips brush the keys, the Alpha flips the switch to collapse the bleachers against the wall.

Scott grabs the keys and throws himself to the floor, just managing to grab the flask in time to run like hell.

Of course he does not get squashed because he is the title character of the series. That would be ridiculous.


Lydia’s staring at the chemicals she used to make Scott’s explosives, and is having some second thoughts about allowing Jackson to assist her. She’s not at all sure that the mix was correct after all. Jackson insists that he did what she asked. No one really believes it.


Down in the gym, the CGI RidicuWolf Alpha slowly (hilariously) approaches Scott.

i can’t even

Scott waits carefully for the Alpha to get into throwing range, and then hurls the flask, shattering it directly on the Alpha’s head.

Nothing happens.


Scott turns to run, but the Alpha anklegrabs him and drags him into the middle of the gym. The Alpha then, um. Well. The Alpha climbs on top of Scott like they’re drunk prom dates in the backseat of a Chevy Cavalier and sort of snuffles him a little before roaring a huge earth-shattering roar.


Upstairs, Jackson jumps like a scalded cat and grabs the back of his neck. He falls to the ground, twitching in pain.


Scott suddenly finds himself alone and unmolested in the middle of the gym. Like Jackson, he’s spasming and thrashing in pain.


As Jackson struggles on the floor, Stiles sees the barely-healed claw marks on the back of his neck.


Scott ends up wolfing out against his will, and roaring in response to the Alpha.


Allison and Lydia help Jackson to his feet, and he insists that he’s totally okay. Stiles reaches over and asks him what’s on the back of his neck, but Jackson slaps his hand away.


Wolf!Scott is walking through the halls in a sort of daze, and it looks like he’s heading back upstairs to the chemistry classroom. He overhears Jackson and Lydia arguing and follows the sound of their voices.

Scott’s breathing heavily and kind of savagely as he approaches the classroom door—the door to which he now has the keys. He’s just about to open the door and presumably slaughter everyone inside when he hears Allison’s voice, and just like that, he’s able to fight whatever it is the Alpha’s done to him.

Scott’s mind is overwhelmed with thoughts of Allison, and he’s able to gradually slow his heartbeat. Inside the classroom, Allison hears him at the door and begins shouting and banging on the door, trying to open it and let him in.

Lydia screams at her to stop, because amidst all the panic, Lydia has heard something important—the sound of police sirens in the distance, getting closer. Everyone runs for the windows in time to see a couple of police cars pull into the parking lot.

Out in the hallway, Scott is still trying to pull himself together. After a minute or so of wild sweaty panting, he’s back to normal.


Sheriff Stilinski escorts Scott and Stiles out of the school, asking them for what is surely the dozenth time if they’re sure it was Derek Hale who killed everyone. Scott insists that it was, and this time, Stiles backs him up.

Unfortunately, the police still haven’t been able to find the janitor’s body, even though they pulled out the bleachers and looked right where Scott told them to. Scott wails and pouts that he’s totally telling the truth, and doesn’t really believe the Sheriff when he tries to assure Scott that they’ll search the entire school until they find the janitor’s body.

Um. I mean. Not to like, tell you how to do your job, Sheriff? But. Um. Why don’t you just look for all the blood that there is no way in HELL that goddamn Alpha was able to clean up all by himself? COME ON I KNOW YOU HAVE SEEN CSI.

A deputy calls the Sheriff away and Scott and Stiles are left to marvel at their uncanny ability to stay alive. Well, Stiles is, at any rate. Scott’s pretty sure that they only got away because the Alpha LET them get away. He’s sure that the Alpha heard them inside the chemistry classroom when it walked by. Scott thinks that the Alpha’s master plan is to get him in its pack, and it wants Scott to get rid of his old pack first—basically, it wants Scott to kill all his friends and then be BFFs with it.

(Okay, moment of epic hilarity—during this revelation, the background music is the moody piano music that is usually used to Allison/Scott make-out scenes. EPIC. HILARITY.)

Scott says that this isn’t even the worst part, which Stiles finds hilarrible. No, the worst part is that when the Alpha roared and magically forced Scott to shift, Scott wanted to kill them all. He was totally out of control and wanted to kill all his friends, and that scares the crap out of him.

Scott broods for a moment and then catches sight of Dr. Deaton sitting in the back of the ambulance, seemingly unharmed. Apparently totally forgetting that he and Stiles decided that Deaton was the best bet for the Alpha, Scott walks right up to Deaton and asks how he escaped. Deaton says it wasn’t easy, and he’s glad to be alive, and thanks Scott for saving his life, telling him with a laugh that he should give Scott a raise.

Sheriff Stilinski pulls Scott and Stiles away from Deaton so the EMTs can finish up with him, and Scott’s so startled that he lets himself be led away like a small pony with a tasty carrot.

Scott then spots Allison walking alone and miserable, and asks her if she’s okay. No, Scott, she is clearly not okay. Her dad’s on his way to pick her up, and she’s so upset that she can barely even look at Scott.

He offers to go with her, and she angrily brushes him off. She then tells him that she doesn’t trust him anymore, and Scott starts babbling wildly about how she can’t keep talking and how everything’s going to be okay and he loves her and blabbity blah, but Allison’s through. She doesn’t want to hear any more lies or excuses, and she tells him not to call her again.

Oh puppy.