Teen Wolf – 1.11 – Formality

Allison’s driving along in the rain, thinking about what she saw that evening in the basement: Derek being a werewolf; Derek being tortured; Kate being crazy and unstable and really really enjoying herself while torturing Derek; just the kind of things that you don’t really want to be concentrating on while driving at night in the rain. Oh Allison. She’s barely able to keep from sobbing really wretchedly, because how is this even her life?

allison is having a bad day

Kate’s given Allison pretty much all the information we already have – that there’s another Beta wolf plus their leader, the Alpha – although Kate doesn’t know all the details yet. Even worse, Kate’s revealed that Chris and Victoria hadn’t planned on telling Allison any of these important family secrets any time soon, since they’re not sure how she would react. Kate implies that Allison might be in danger if she reacts to the information “badly”.

All this emotional upheaval is having some dangerous effects on Allison right now, namely on her driving skills. Naturally it’s Stiles’ dad that pulls her over. By the time she gets her window down, she’s crying. Sheriff Stilinski looks more concerned about her emotional state than he does about her speeding, because lol girl tears scary to big mens!

Allison sniffles that she’s not crying to get out of the ticket, and Sheriff Stilinski doesn’t really seem to care, he just wants the tragic weeping to stop ASAP. He’s absolutely willing to let her off with a warning, but the prospect of this immediately upsets Allison even more. She DEMANDS that he write her a ticket, and insists that this kind of madness is really not her usual sort of behavior. The Sheriff looks more and more confused but he gamely nods his head, hoping that everything will just go away. I sense he’s had a lot of experience with that feeling.


Later that evening, Allison and her compound bow are stalking through the warehousey section of Beacon Hills. She’s taking a bunch of scarily accurate practice shots on a Wanted poster of Derek, presumably working up towards shooting at the real thing.

Man, that is a terrible drawing of Derek. I am insulted on Hoechlin’s behalf.


Scott wakes up in Deaton’s operating room and leaps off the table – he’s confused, wobbly, and still a little bit injured. As Deaton tries to help him back onto the table, the bell over the front door rings. Deaton calls out to see who it is, and Scott pulls him back at the last minute. DANGER!

It’s creepy hotass Peter Hale, and he tells Deaton that he’s there to pick up his pet. Deaton gives him the tiniest of stinkeyes and says that he doesn’t remember Peter dropping anything off. Peter counters that “this one wandered in on its own”. Inside the operating room, Scott huddles down in the corner and shivers a little.

Outside, Deaton’s telling Peter once again that the office is closed, but Peter’s not interested in these polite deflections. He quickly gets tired of their stilted back-and-forth and decides to try and shove his way past Deaton into the back room. Unfortunately for Peter, Deaton’s low patient gate is made of mountain ash, which werewolves can’t pass over. Frustrated, Peter picks up a nearby chair and throws it at Deaton’s head. Deaton deflects the chair with the sheer power of his manly veterinarian charisma, apparently.


Peter sulks crazily and tosses his curls before adjusting his swooshy dramatic leather jacket and preparing to storm out of the office. He pauses at the front door to address Scott in a vicious little whisper, saying that there are other people who can help him get what he wants – people that are more innocent and vulnerable and tasty and delicious om nom nom etc. Scott takes the bait easily, assuming that Peter’s talking about Allison.


Scott’s tearing apart his bedroom looking for his missing phone while Stiles watches him with growing irritation. He advises Scott to just get a new phone, but Scott can’t afford one. And apparently the phone problem is part of an even larger problem, which is “where the hell is Derek Hale?” Stiles reminds Scott that Derek walked into gunfire while Scott ran away, so Derek’s probably dead by now. Stiles has apparently not learned anything from the last time they assumed Derek was dead, I guess.

Scott knows that Derek won’t be dead, because it’s all part of the hunters’ plan to locate the Alpha. Stiles thinks this is even better, since if they use Derek to find and kill Peter, then everyone’s problems will be solved, right? WRONG, STILES. Wrong. Peter’s on his way to find Allison, so Scott needs Derek to help him stop Peter, and oh my god Scott this ridiculous convoluted scheming even sounds silly to Stiles, the undisputed king of ridiculous convoluted schemes!

Anyway, Stiles thinks that Scott probably lost his phone when he was fighting Derek to keep him from killing Jackson. Scott pauses in his frantic search to tell Stiles, very patiently and for likely the dozenth time, that Derek wasn’t actually going to kill anyone, and that he’s not going to let Derek die. Where did all this friendly comraderie come from? Stiles is as baffled as I am.

Scott’s mom pulls up outside the house, having just returned home from work. She doesn’t come inside right away, though – Melissa stops to leave a kind of sad, awkward message on Peter’s voicemail. I guess despite the general terribleness of their first date, she really liked him and his pretend medical representative persona. And really, aside from the sociopathic murderer aspect of his personality, what’s not to like? He IS a superdelicious hotass charming guy, after all.

Scott eavesdrops on her embarrassing message, looking really unhappy all the while. Obviously he wants his mom to be happy – is there maybe a part of him that’s wondering if she would be happy being Peter’s werewoffly bride? Because I am kind of wondering it now, and will shortly go look for some fics on the subject.

Stiles watches Scott’s face fall into seriousness and sadness, and asks if Melissa is okay. She’s really not, though – she’s sitting in the car and crying. After a moment, Stiles tells Scott that he can’t actually protect everyone. Scott doesn’t see it that way, of course. He’s determined to protect every last person he cares about, no matter what. OH MY PRECIOUS LITTLE DETERMINED PUPPY.


Over in the Unneccessarily Sexy Torture Dungeon, Kate is monologing like a Bond villain at Derek. He’s still shirtless and chained up and hot and sweaty and wow, I am having many, many presumably inappropriate feelings about this entire situation that I would probably feel uncomfortable about if in fact I was actually capable of feeling shame or guilt, or had morals of any kind.


Kate wants to know why Derek isn’t more into the idea of killing off the Alpha. After all, the Alpha DID kill his sister. Kate wonders if Derek’s not telling her the Alpha’s identity because he wants to kill the Alpha himself. Or maybe it’s because Derek is protecting someone? I think it’s more likely that Derek really hates you a whole lot, Kate. Probably he would rather die than help you. I am just saying.

Kate starts scrolling through Derek’s cellphone looking for clues, complaining all the while about how much she hates doing ridiculous detective work. Presumably she prefers the actual torturing and killing much more. (I don’t even care, I love her forever.) Since there are probably more than a few important clues in Derek’s phone, he deflects her interest from it with some snarky commentary on whether she’s actually going to bother torturing him or not – is she going to talk him to death instead?

It seems that Kate really is that easy to manipulate after all. She smiles at him sweetly and insists that she doesn’t want to torture him, heavens no! She just wants to catch up. Doesn’t Derek remember all the fun they had together? Yeah, like the time you burned his entire family alive, Kate? Sure, that was super.

Actually, Kate was thinking more about the hot crazy sex they had. And now so am I. In great detail. Thanks for that.

Oh Kate, you creepy maniac. Not only does she remember burning his family alive with great and delighted pleasure, but she’s definitely getting off on how much Derek hates her. Kate decides to move in for a little badtouching, and leans down to slowly lick Derek’s glorious abs.

I am pretty sure that at least 50% of the virulent fandom hatred for Kate Argent is motivated by the epic, horrendous, tooth-grindingly savage jealousy that this scene inspires.

the best part was the comic-con interview where she said he tasted like potato chips

Post-badtouching, Kate tells Derek again that she really doesn’t want to torture him. Of course, that’s because the big lumpy thug waiting outside wants to do it instead. Derek actually looks kind of relieved.


Allison is tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep, or maybe just having nightmares. Scott’s seated on the roof of the house just outside her window, keeping watch. He’s having a hard time staying asleep but is determined not to let anything bad happen to her. Unfortunately, he nods off a moment or two later and tumbles right off the roof. Aww.


The next day, Scott gets some bad news from Coach Finstock, right in the middle of the crowded locker room – he’s not allowed to attend the upcoming Winter Formal, because he’s failing too many classes. Actually, Finstock was told to kick Scott off the lacrosse team, which he refused to do, so the weird compromise is to ban Scott from the dance instead. Scott makes his little “i am a tiny puppy thinking big difficult thoughts” face for a moment and then announces triumphantly that he’ll quit the lacrosse team.

Oh, how Finstock laughs. No Scott, you will not be quitting the goddamn team. And if he’s caught at the dance, Finstock will drag him out by his teeth, thus presumably humiliating him terribly.

Scott’s Plan B is not much better, actually. He’s somehow decided that the best possible idea is to make Jackson take Allison to the dance instead. Jackson’s not even remotely into the idea of helping Scott with anything, whining about how Scott left him for dead. Scott looks at Jackson like Jackson is the hugest idiot in the state, which is a fairly accurate assessment, all things considered. Does Jackson not recall that Scott took a couple of bullets for him? Jackson demands to see the bullet wounds, which have of course already healed, so no luck there.

Scott’s last resort is to ask Jackson to do it for Allison, since he thinks she’s in terrible danger at all times. Jackson thinks that if Allison’s really in that much danger, then Chris Argent should take care of it instead. He doesn’t particularly care if Scott can’t tell Chris about the situation without outing himself as the other Beta, either. Hmph.

Somehow, Scott manages not to grab Jackson by the back of the neck and smash his head into the lockers repeatedly. Instead, he tells Jackson that there’s simply no way Jackson spent all that time with Allison – mostly just to irritate Scott, admittedly – without getting to know her and like her and care about her. Jackson looks like he might actually care for a second, but when he asks Scott what happens if he gets hurt himself, Scott tells him it’ll be worth it to keep Allison safe. Yeah, no. Jackson’s definitely not interested.

Stiles and Scott watch him stalk off, mostly unsurprised by his douchebaggery. Stiles tells Scott that he’s not going to say “I told you so,” which initially seems like a moment of great restraint and personal growth. But no. The only reason Stiles isn’t going to say it is because it’s just not strong enough. Scott should just recognize that Stiles will always be right and that he himself will always be wrong, and furthermore Scott should always listen to Stiles forever and ever until the end of time.

This is 100% true and factual information, Scott McCall. For serious.

Alas, Scott’s plan isn’t quite finished yet. He corners Jackson on his way out of the locker room and tells him there’s just one more thing they need to discuss. This discussion’s topic is Scott wolfing the hell out and throwing a terrified Jackson up against the door of the locker room. Quite convincing, actually.


Jackson, still a little nervous and sweaty from his close woffly encounter, scampers up to Allison by her locker and asks her what time he should pick her up for the dance tomorrow. Since he’s clearly not his usual smarmy self, Allison asks if he’s okay. Jackson insists that he’s fine, just excited to go to the dance with her. “As friends! Just friends! Friendly friends!” Jackson catches sight of Stiles and Scott glaring at him from around the corner and twitches helplessly as he strolls off with Allison in the opposite direction.

Stiles reminds Scott that he’ll still be at the dance to keep an eye on things. This turns out to be less important than he’d expected, since Scott has decided to go to the dance himself anyway. Stiles stares at his ridiculous BFF in confusion, because seriously, does Scott have a date? How about a suit, or a ticket to the dance, or even a way there? Nope, Scott has none of those things. He’s going to ride his bike to the dance he’s been banned from, without a suit or a date or a way in, all the while surrounded by both werewolves and werewolf hunters who want to kill him.

Predictably, Stiles thinks this will be a Very Great Adventure.


Lydia and Allison are dress shopping at relentless corporate sponsor Macy’s. Allison is not her usual smiley self, which Lydia can’t help but comment upon. Her solution to all Allison’s unspoken problems? She’s going to buy Allison’s dress, of course. It’s also an apology for her shitty behavior with Scott the other day. Allison agrees that it’s a pretty good apology, but there something else she wants from Lydia as well – Lydia’s going to cancel whatever date she set up for the dance and go with someone else of Allison’s choosing.

And that someone else is Stiles, who just so happens to be standing awkwardly by the perfume counter. Lydia does not look terribly pleased by this prospect, which is frankly incomprehensible to me. How DARE you not find this delightful, Lydia Martin. How dare you.


Lydia’s response to this unforeseen situation is to make Stiles into her manservant. He ends up following her around the store and holding the ever-higher stack of dresses she plans to try on, while she ignores his every attempt at conversation. Sigh.

Meanwhile, Allison’s poking through a few dresses on a nearby rack and picks out a red, white, and black one that she likes. As she’s looking at it in the mirror, Peter Hale creeps up behind her in the usual Hale Family Manner. He quietly informs her that the dress really isn’t her color, and advises her to go for a lighter color.

Peter Hale, Sexy Psychotic Fashion Critic! I would pay cash money for this spin-off. I am just saying.

Allison’s simultaneously creeped out and charmed by his interference and compliments. Peter pulls a silvery dress off the rack and hands it to her, and she seems to like it a lot. Peter pushes his luck a little, asking her more and more intrusive questions about if she’s there alone, and if she’s shopping for a high school dance. God, Peter, way to sound like you’re about to drag her off to your van down beside the river.

She seems ready to flee from Peter when there’s an announcement over the loudspeaker about a car being towed in the parking lot. Allison realizes that the license plate is her own, and runs off to see what’s going on. Peter watches her go with a smile of reluctant pride, because he knows that once again, Scott has managed to interfere in a casual yet effective and clever way. In fact, Peter even knows that Scott is lurking nearby, and tells him that he’s impressed by Scott’s ingenuity, but remember, Scott can’t be everywhere to protect everyone all the time.

Scott really doesn’t take these honest compliments from Peter very well, does he.


Kate’s still got Derek chained up in her sexy torture chamber. She’s listening to Chris’ irritated voicemails on her cellphone, to which she has no intention of responding. Kate’s getting tired of Derek’s determination to remain silent, and informs him that he needs to tell her what she wants to know, or she’s just going to kill him and be done with it. Oh, and say hi to your dead sister too!

Oh wait, first Kate wants to emotionally torture Derek a little more. Did Derek ever even tell Laura that the fire was All His Fault? Or did he keep that a secret the entire time? Kate correctly deduces that Derek has never told anyone that his relationship with Kate was what allowed the Argents to kill off his entire family. Since she is a terrible person (who I nevertheless adore), she finds this situation absolutely hilarious and delightful. And besides, it’s not entirely Derek’s fault, after all. Who could blame him for falling for a hottie like Kate? Not me, that’s for goddamn sure.

Derek obviously blames himself completely, and has blamed himself for a long time. To make things worse, Kate laughs at him for once again being the one who helps her bring down his new pack.

As Kate’s about to turn on the electricity and give Derek one final deadly zap, she suddenly realizes that Jackson’s not the other Beta after all. No, she’s sure that it must be a perfect parallel of their own situation – namely, the other werewolf must be the kid who’s in love with Allison. Scott McCall.


Scott’s rushing to get ready for the dance, and Melissa is helping him suit up. She’s a little concerned as to how he was able to afford such a nice suit, until she opens the jacket and sees that it’s being held together with duct tape. Aha. Well, maybe no one will notice.

Melissa stuffs Scott into the jacket and thinks it might just be okay after all, until Scott turns around and manages to split his pants. Sigh. As she sews up the rip, Melissa asks if Allison will be picking up Scott for the dance, because she can’t lend him their car that evening. Scott admits that he’s going to the dance alone, which Melissa finds a bit weird – surely he knows other girls he can ask besides Allison, right? OMG MOM STAAAAHP. Of course there are no other girls on the entire planet except for Allison, how could you even ask such a terrible thing?!

Melissa really wants to know if Scott truly thinks that there’s no one out there for him but Allison, and yeah, mom, he totally seriously does. Scott witters on about how his ~feeeeelings for Allison are the most special of all feelings ever felt in the history of mankind, and it’s terribly adorable and a little bit sad. Has Scott even told her how he feels? Nope, Scott thinks Allison just magically knows somehow. This earns him an incredulous slap to the head.

Scott’s mom gives him the important advice to just man up and tell Allison how he feels. Tell her again and again, dammit! Scott seems pretty on board with this plan, since he’s already told everyone else on earth how he feels about Allison. He’s probably told the mailman and strangers on the street by now. Good talk, mom!


Jackson and Allison arrive at the dance in Jackson’s rich douchebag car. Jackson’s drinking out of a flask of vodka, and offers it to Allison, but she’d rather not. Jackson can’t understand why she’d want to be sober for a night like this, which is perhaps not the most flattering thing she’d want to hear. Jackson Whittemore, everyone! Such a charmer.

Stiles and Lydia pull up nearby in Stiles’ jeep, as Allison fixes her makeup one last time in the passenger side visor mirror in Jackson’s car. As she lowers the visor, she sees Scott creeping along the roof of the school, and smiles delightedly.

Stiles helps Lydia out of the jeep just as Allison and Jackson are walking by. Lydia unwisely compliments Jackson on how handsome he looks, and he just sneers at her, because OBVIOUSLY he looks hot. Lydia grits her teeth and promises herself that she’s not going to let him get to her ever again. Stiles, having silently watched the entire uncomfortable interaction, tells Lydia with almost painfully sweet honesty that he thinks she looks beautiful. Lydia is unexpectedly charmed by the sincerity of his compliment, and they walk into the school together, arm in arm.


Inside, everyone is dancing really hilariously awkwardly. Like, SO AWKWARDLY. I can’t. You guys, I am crying a little from horrible lols. SUCH AWKWARD FLAILY UNCOMFORTABLE TEENAGE DANCING.

send halp oh my god

Scott’s watching from the shadowy sidelines, looking for Allison and Jackson. Instead, he thinks he sees Peter Hale standing on the other side of the dance floor, but when he looks back, there’s no one there. Hmm.

Scott heads to the top of the bleachers for a better spying vantage point, aka a better place from which to moon over Allison. Allison, meanwhile, is standing next to Jackson, and neither one of them looks especially thrilled to be there. Jackson looks particularly bored out of his mind. Allison asks him if he wants to dance, and Jackson’s response is “do I have to?” After a moment of deliberation, Jackson escorts Allison out onto the dance floor.

Stiles watches Jackson and Allison for a moment and then asks Lydia to dance – she’d rather pass, thanks. Stiles mentally girds his loins and insists that Lydia get off her cute little ass and dance with him, because goddammit, Stiles has been in love with her since the third grade and he knows that despite her icy attitude, she’s got a real human soul inside her. Somewhere really deep, presumably. Stiles is also the only one who knows how smart Lydia really is, despite the fact that she always acts like an idiot to fit in with her idiot popular friends. And one day, Stiles is sure that she’ll probably win the Nobel Prize in Mathematics or something.

Lydia can’t resist correcting Stiles – there is no Nobel Prize for math, so she’ll be winning the Fields Medal, actually. Either way, she’s ready to dance with him now. Stiles does a small but heartfelt happy little prance.

Suddenly, from across the gym, Scott is spotted by Coach Finstock, who is immediately prepared to throw him out onto his woffly ass. Scott panicks and flees into the crowd as Finstock struggles to catch him. Scott spots Danny sitting alone on the side of the dance floor and begs him to get up and dance. Danny tries to refuse but Scott just drags him out onto the dance floor despite his grumpy protests.



As Finstock finally catches up to Scott, he and Danny are in the middle of the world’s most awkward, hilarious slow dance. Finstock skids to a halt in front of them, right in the middle of shouting “you’re not supposed to be here!” Instead, Finstock’s total confusion at this unexpected couple starts to sound a lot like angry homophobia, and everyone on the dance floor stops to stare at him judgmentally. Even the band stops playing to watch as Finstock flails on and on.

Cornered, Finstock insists that everyone get back to dancing and having a good time, and then flees the scene of his embarrassing misunderstanding. Scott waits a moment for Finstock to disappear, and then unwraps himself from Danny and runs away. As Danny turns to watch him go, Danny’s boyfriend appears with two cups of punch and a grumpy look.

Scott finally finds Allison, and before he can even ask, Allison says that she’d love to dance with him.


Jackson staggers outside, totally hammered. He stares off into the woods beyond the parking lot and sees the glowing red eyes of Creeper Alpha Peter Hale. Jackson rubs at his eyes for a second and then looks again, squinting into the distance. Instead of disappearing, the eyes move closer.


Stiles and Lydia are still dancing together, and Lydia glances around the room a little before telling Stiles she wants to take a break from dancing. Stiles knows that she really means she wants to go look for Jackson, and tells her it’s okay. He leads her off the dance floor to help find Jackson.


Jackson’s stumbling drunkenly though the (unnecessarily dramatically) foggy woods, stupidly chasing the Alpha. He’s shouting to the Alpha and begging and whining and generally being a huge mess, because he really wants to be a werewolf already. Instead, he comes across Chris Argent and a couple of armed hunters.

Chris tells Jackson that unfortunately, he can’t give Jackson what he wants. But maybe Jackson can lead them to what THEY want.


Inside, Allison and Scott are dancing and staring moonily at each other and being adorable and mushy and I am sorry but this is so boring to me. I like it better when they’re in tragic conflict! SOB.

Scott’s taking his mom’s advice and telling Allison all the things he likes about her: he likes hearing her laugh and making her happy, and he loves her smile. Allison stops to look at him carefully when he says he needs to tell her something, but when Scott brings up a conversation they had previously about Derek, she backtracks completely, saying she had no idea what she was talking about. Scott says that he believes her that there’s something weird about her family, but Allison doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.


Chris is leading Jackson back towards the high school. As Jackson stumbles along beside him, he asks Chris if he’s going to hurt anyone. Chris promises not to hurt Scott, because he’s “just a high school kid”. As though that’s ever stopped anyone named Argent before, right. Chris sends Jackson on his way and lurks creepily in the parking lot.

On the other side of the parking lot, Lydia’s calling Jackson’s name. No one hears her.


Scott tries telling Allison again that she wasn’t wrong, and that he believes her, but Allison shuts him down again. Scott finally loses his patience a little and asks her if she’ll just let him talk for a second. Instead, he stands there wordlessly for a moment before grabbing her for some kissing. Allison asks him why he did that, and Scott finally tells her that he loves her. It’s all very adorable and special and I am confused as to why the producers did not spring for animated Blingee cherubs to flutter around their heads all the while, although it is possible that they could just generate those themselves with the sheer power of their cuddliness. Hm.


Jackson makes his way back into the school, and when Stiles sees him, he immediately asks if Lydia ever found him. Jackson is clearly regretting ever talking to Chris Argent in the first place, and looks extremely guilty. Jackson stammers out some lame story about being behind the school, and Stiles knows something is badly amiss.


Lydia’s out in the middle of the lacrosse field, shouting Jackson’s name. There’s no response from Jackson, obviously, but someone else is there, turning on all the floodlights and blinding Lydia. Someone walks slowly out from between the bleachers towards Lydia, and at first she thinks it might still be Jackson.

It’s Peter Hale, of course.

From across the other side of the field, Stiles screams to Lydia to run away, but he’s not nearly in time. Peter’s already standing right in front of Lydia, and he’s ready to gobble her up.


Lydia falls to the ground, covered in blood. As Peter hovers over her, Stiles runs up and flings himself to the ground, begging Peter not to kill her. Peter stares thoughtfully at Stiles for a moment, and agrees not to kill Lydia, as long as Stiles will tell him where Derek is. Stiles finds this conversational progression deeply confusing.

Stiles insists that he has no idea where Derek is, but Peter doesn’t quite believe him, since he stinks of sweaty desperation and lies. Peter screams at Stiles like a crazyface maniac until Stiles finally reveals that he thinks Derek knew he was going to be caught by the hunters, and that Derek probably took Scott’s phone so Stiles could find him via the GPS.


Allison is leading Scott out of the back door of the school, so they can find somewhere quiet to be alone together. The location of their romantic interlude is apparently a school bus, which Scott finds creepy and awful, considering his fairly recent and horribly graphic nightmare about murdering Allison inside one of these very buses. The allure of making out with his beloved girlfriend overcomes his nightmare fears pretty easily, though.

Scott’s about to follow Allison up onto a nearby bus when Chris Argent zooms up in his huntermobile. Another hunter crony pulls up from the other side of the lane, boxing Scott in. Inside the bus, Allison looks confused and scared, and as she watches, Chris and the other hunter step on the gas, planning to crush Scott between their cars.

(I originally thought this was a hilariously stupid plan, but I guess upon further reflection it kind of makes sense that Chris would try to fake a car accident in the high school parking lot. It’s a lot less obvious than shooting Scott in the face.)

At the very last second, Scott leaps up and lands on the hood of Chris’ SUV. Both cars skid to a halt, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision. Inside the bus, Allison looks horrified and totally, totally baffled. Allison, sweetie, you are maybe a little bit dumb here.

She realizes the extent of her cluelessness when Scott looks up at her from the hood of her dad’s car – he’s wolfed out with panic and rage, and stares at her with his creepy yellow eyes.