Teen Wolf – 2.01 – Omega

In the middle of the forest, for no apparent reason, Jackson seems to be taking a swim in an artfully ripped shirt. I’m not going to argue with this filming decision because UNF but I am definitely going to lol a little. He’s got a bite on his side, in pretty much the same area that Peter bit Scott, so I think it’s safe to assume that Derek has given Jackson the bite.

I’m sure this will turn out really well for everyone involved, aren’t you?

that is a masterful fashion statement, jackson

Scott is running through another part of the forest in the hilariously bad all-fours wolfrunning position that will forever live on in my heart as the silliest thing I have ever loved. He dramatically leaps a ravine and stops to Blue Steel at the camera, his mind wandering back to endless back-seat-of-the-car makeouts with Allison.

Unfortunately, this particular romantic moment Scott is remembering ends a bit differently than all the others have in the past – Chris Argent smashes open the car’s window and drags Scott out at gunpoint. Allison leaps out of the car and tries desperately to haul her dad away from her boyfriend, sobbing and begging and promising to do anything in the world to keep Scott alive.

She even promises to never see Scott again. And this, obviously, is what Chris has been waiting for. He tells her, dramatically, “NEVER AGAIN!” and that would appear to be that.

Scott continues with his ridiculous running, this time down the street at night and through various backyards, alarming various motorists and angering chained up large dogs left in his silly wake.

He ends up on Allison’s roof, and dives through her bedroom window. Yes, it appears that screamed promises from Allison Argent are basically worthless! Sorry dad, but they are going to bone like whoa for the next hour. Hope you don’t come home early.


Stiles is passed out across a line of uncomfortable chairs in the hospital waiting area, just outside of Lydia’s room. He appears to be having a slightly filthy dream and enjoying it an awful lot. Across the room, Melissa McCall overhears his giddy mumblings and stifles a gigglesnort while walking by.

Inside the room, it looks like Lydia’s finally awake and looking much more like her old self again. Her dad is hovering uncomfortably, and asks if she needs help getting in the shower. Her response is the iciest of glares, since she’s not exactly 4 years old anymore, is she? Mr Martin decides to wait outside where he assumes there will be fewer viciously sarcastic teenagers, and beholds Stiles in all his ridiculous glory – has he been here all night? Melissa informs Mr Martin that actually, Stiles has been here all weekend.

how is he so delightful at all times idek


Allison and Scott are slobbering wetly all over one another and rolling around in her bed, smashing random things in the room amidst their wild teenage passions.


Eventually they fall out of bed and Scott realizes that the sounds he is overhearing in the distance are the squeaky breaks on Chris Argent’s SUV driving down the road. PANIC!

Moments later, Victoria Argent barges into Allison’s room to find…. Allison sitting calmly on her bed, studying. She gives her mom a cool look and tells her she could at least knock occasionally. Victoria, the Queen of Icy Disdain, counters that she hopes she wasn’t INTERRUPTING anything, wink wink nudge nudge. Yes, Victoria, actually you did – thing like Allison’s studying, her entire life, her happiness, her will to live, etc.

Victoria rolls her eyes at Allison’s teenage drama and holds up the dress she’s brought Allison to wear for Kate’s funeral tomorrow. Allison tells her to just leave it on the desk. Instead, Victoria glances suspiciously at the open window next to Allison’s bed and yanks open the closet doors, rooting through the hanging clothes with violent rage. Oh please, like they’d hide Scott in the closet.

Don’t be ridiculous, of course he’s outside on the roof in his panties.


Victoria, realizing her error, stalks over to the open window and leans outside. Scott, however, has heard her coming with his wolfy hearing of awesomeness, and scurries just around the corner of the roof, outside of her line of vision. HA!


Back at the hospital, Lydia climbs into the shower and stands under the water quietly. She’s carefully washing the claw and bite marks on her torso when a dark nasty fluid starts bubbling up out of the drain by her feet.


Around the corner from Lydia’s room, Stiles is tiredly stuffing coins into a vending machine, hoping to get his hands on some TEEN WOLF CORPORATE SPONSOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT reese’s peanut butter cups, omg lol. Alas, the machine does not wish to bend to his will, and Stiles smacks at the glass angrily.


The water at Lydia’s feet is getting thicker and darker and scarier looking, but thus far she hasn’t even noticed. She’s moving slowly and carefully, almost as if she’s still half-asleep.


Stiles throws himself at the vending machine and, uh. Well.

Look, he literally humps the vending machine, okay? Can we all just admit that and then agree to never speak of this again? Yes? Okay good.

The vending machine is unmoved by his romantic advances, and Stiles is forced to throw himself at it in a frenzy of sugary desperation. This is, predictably, a terrible plan, as the machine ends up smashing face down onto the floor. Oops.


The sound of the vending machine hitting the floor startles Lydia out of her mental fog, and she peeks out from behind the shower curtain suspiciously. Hearing no further commotion, she goes back to her shower.

it is difficult to comment on how gorgeous her skin is without sounding like a creepy serial killer

A moment later, she finally notices the dark, backed up water in the floor of the tub. Instead of leaping out of the gross water, as any right-thinking person would immediately do, she kneels down to see what’s causing the clog. Lydia pulls up big clumps of hair from the drain, and throws them aside while gagging helplessly. Again and again she tugs at the stringy wads of nastiness, because IDEK LYDIA WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS SO GROSS.

Lydia’s worked herself up right into a helpless state of panic, when suddenly a filthy arm, burned and blistered and charred, reaches up out of the murky water and grabs onto her wrist. Lydia screams her goddamn head off, and the sound echoes through the quiet hallways of the hospital.

From the hallway, Stiles hears the echo of the scream and immediately runs towards Lydia’s room. Melissa McCall and Mr Martin reach the doorway seconds before Stiles, but he barges past them and bursts into the bathroom.

The shower is still running, and the water is clear, with no sign of hair clumps or dirt or grabby monster arms. There is also no sign of Lydia; her bloodstained hospital gown is the only evidence that she was ever even there.

And that’s when Stiles notices that the bathroom window is wide open.

Outside, Lydia’s horrified screaming is still echoing throughout Beacon Hills: the forest; the dark creepy warehouse district; all the way to Allison’s house, where a half-naked Scott is still perched on the roof. Scott recognizes the voice as Lydia’s and is completely confused.


Sheriff Stilinski is walking through the hospital with Melissa McCall and Mr Martin and a couple of deputies, trying to wrap his head around what he’s being told – do they really mean to tell him that Lydia has leapt shrieking out the bathroom, completely naked, and run off into the night? Yes, Sheriff, that is exactly what they’re telling you. If you need a picture I am pretty sure Stiles can draw you one. In fact, Stiles is right there waiting to interrupt and give the police a somewhat disturbingly detailed description of Lydia for their APB. The Sheriff, marginally more facepalmy than usual, sends Stiles home instead.

Stiles heads for his jeep, with Lydia’s bloodstained hospital gown in his hands. This is much less creepy when you remember that his BFF is basically a bloodhound puppy. In fact, Scott is already sitting in the car waiting for Stiles. Scott sniffs the gown uncertainly as Stiles gets ready to drive away.

Of course, this is when Allison throws herself in front of the car to stop them, because apparently yelling people’s names is just not good enough anymore. Allison’s there to help, of course, because Lydia is her best friend. Plus, they need to find Lydia not just before the police do, but before Chris Argent and his hunter buddies do. Allison jumps into the car and they speed off.

Stiles has a lot of questions, and unfortunately Allison doesn’t have a lot of answers: she’s being kept in the dark until after Kate’s funeral, when “the others” are supposed to arrive. And no, she doesn’t know who these mysterious other people are, either.

Meanwhile, in what is surely one of the most delightful scenes in this entire series, Scott is leaning out the car window, hair ruffling in the breeze, sniffing away at the scent of Lydia like the world’s most adorable fucking puppy EVER.



Over at the Beacon Hills cemetery, someone in a backhoe is excavating a hole for Kate Argent’s grave – the headstone is already helpfully in place, yet another thing on this show that is legitimately less realistic than werewolves. The kid sitting in the backhoe, Isaac, stops to examine his black eye in the rearview mirror for a moment, when he’s suddenly overcome with a spooky and unpleasant feeling that he’s not alone anymore. He turns the backhoe around in all directions, letting the headlights shine off into the distance, but sees nothing…

…until a filthy, claw-fingered hand creeps out from behind a nearby headstone. Isaac stops abruptly and squints at it, totally alarmed. Everything in the cemetery goes very very quiet for a moment, and then something bursts out of the woods from the opposite direction, knocking over the backhoe, and trapping Isaac beneath it in the freshly-dug grave.

Above him, there’s a lot of scampering and snarling and growling and general creepiness happening. Isaac gets quietly to his feet and peeks over the edge of the grave, where he sees someone or something frantically digging in another nearby grave, making creepy feral snarling noises. He wisely decides that huddling back down into the grave is clearly his best option currently.

The digging and snarling noises are interrupted by a loud, angry growl, and the filthy snarling digger runs away whimpering with fear. Down in the grave, Isaac’s safe hideyhole is suddenly seeming a lot less safe, as the angry growler hauls the backhoe up from the ground singlehandedly. He crawls to the darkest corner of the grave and stares up at this new threat.

It’s Derek Hale, predictably, because when he’s not busy lurking in the high school locker room or hiding out in the bedrooms of various teenage boys, he spends his time creeping around the local cemetery.




Stiles, Scott, and Allison are creeping up on Derek’s abandoned house – at Stiles’ incredulous look, Scott confirms that this is absolutely where Lydia’s scent leads. Despite the fact that Lydia’s never been there before and never actually met Derek, the trio reluctantly agree that it kind of makes sense for Lydia to show up there. Maybe she’s looking for a pack, or just an Alpha? Scott admits that he doesn’t really know enough to judge what might be going through Lydia’s mind right now, but he knows that all werewolves are stronger when they’re part of a pack – maybe Lydia’s realized all this instinctively?

Stiles is poking around in the leaves nearby and notices a tripwire, which he immediately sets off, throwing Scott into the air at the end of a snare. Allison and Stiles laugh a little at his predicament, and walk over to help him down, but Scott stops them when he hears someone coming. Scott shoos them away to hide in the trees and just hangs there ridiculously as Chris Argent and his hunter buddies arrive.

Scott and Chris have an awkward conversation about Scott’s presence in the woods, and Scott admits that he’s out there looking for “his friend”. Chris makes some sarcastic comments about pack loyalty, and tells Scott straight out that while he might be able to accept one special circumstance as a favour to his daughter, he sure can’t accept two of them. It looks like Lydia’s definitely in danger, then.

Chris does his usual “barely-veiled threats as casual conversation” thing, leading up to a discussion about cutting people in half, and Scott understands exactly what and who are being threatened. As soon as Chris and his buddies leave, Stiles and Allison spring up from their hiding spot and set about freeing Scott from the snare. His claws turn out to be much quicker.

They head up to the house to poke around.


Early the next morning, Sheriff Stilinski is interviewing the gravedigging kid – Isaac Lahey – and his sarcastic, grumpy dad about the events of the previous evening. Apparently the Sheriff’s Department canine division was out this morning, and they tracked Lydia’s scent to the graveyard. Isaac quietly says that he didn’t see anything unusual the night before, and his obnoxious dad sneers at him, saying that if his loser son had seen a naked girl in real life, he’d tell everyone.

The Sheriff gives Mr Lahey a disgusted look, and then asks Isaac where he got that black eye. Isaac tells him it happened at school, during lacrosse practice. This distracts the Sheriff handily, and he witters on happily about Stiles also being on the lacrosse team, although he doesn’t usually get to play. Over the Sheriff’s shoulder, Isaac sees Beacon Hills’ Number One Creepy Hot Lurker, Derek Hale, watching them from the woods.


Sheriff Stilinski realizes that Isaac is distracted, and glances behind him to see what’s going on, but Derek is already gone. He asks Isaac if anything is wrong, and Isaac quickly dissembles, telling the Sheriff that he’s got an early lacrosse practice he needs to get to in 20 minutes. Sheriff Stilinski has one last question for Isaac before he’ll let him go – he wants to know if grave robberies are a regular thing in town. Isaac says there’ve been a few now and then, but they usually just take jewelry. This time, however, the grave robber took something different – a liver.


Scott and Stiles arrive at high school the next morning and are discussing the previous night’s events. Stiles tells Scott about the missing liver from the grave robbery, and they both assume the robber was Lydia. Scott is completely grossed out and more than a little proud that he himself never did anything so weird. Stiles defends the liver eating by insisting that it’s the most nutritious part of the body, dammit! OH STILES.

Stiles suddenly realizes that Scott is their perfect test case for someone who was turned into a werewolf against their will and without their knowledge – maybe Scott’s experience will help them find Lydia! Unfortunately, the only information Scott has is that he was drawn to Allison and nothing else. Maybe this means that Lydia will be drawn to Stiles, since she was with him the night she was bit? Stiles doesn’t look convinced, since when Lydia was bit, she was outside looking for Jackson.

With perfect and predictable timing, Jackson zooms into the parking lot in his douchemobile, and pulls into a parking spot directly in front of a dirty hobo dude digging through a trash can. Jackson looks him up and down and hands over a dollar, telling the hobo dude to find another parking lot to go die in. So charming.


In the locker room, Coach Finstock calls everyone together for an announcement – he wants everyone to sign up for tonight’s search party looking for Lydia out in the woods. Finstock is really emotionally invested in finding her, since the last time HE was running around the woods naked at night in the winter time, he lost a testicle to exposure. The lacrosse team doesn’t really know what to make of this unnecessarily personal information, and neither do I, but the promise of an automatic A in econ if they sign up is all the motivation they need.

Off in the corner, Stiles and Scott are trying to motivate Jackson into giving a crap about his missing ex-girlfriend, but Jackson remains firmly behind his douche shield, insisting that he doesn’t care what Lydia does anymore. Scott tries to explain that they think Lydia might be turning and will need their help. Jackson thinks that it’s everyone else who’ll need their help if Lydia’s actually turning into a werewolf, predicting that she’ll be attacking anyone who gets in her way.


Later that day, in chemistry class, in the middle of their pop quiz, Stiles tells Scott that he’s worried that Jackson might have a legitimate point – what if the next body part Lydia steals is from someone that’s still alive? Mr Harris tells them to shut up and threatens Stiles with detention forever and ever, as well as threatening him with actual physical violence. Seriously, why doesn’t Stiles tell his dad, THE SHERIFF, about this shit? Sigh.

On the other side of the classroom, Jackson’s nose starts leaking a thick black goo, and it drips all over his quiz paper. Danny, sitting across from him, notices and starts freaking out really quietly.

Jackson runs to the restroom, leaking all over himself, and locks himself in a toilet stall. No matter how many wads of toilet paper he stuffs into his face, the black goo keeps pouring out. Someone starts rattling the stall door, and Jackson, assuming it’s Danny, tells him to hold his goddamn horses a second while he pulls himself together.

The stall door is yanked open, and of course it’s not Danny – it’s Derek, a grown man who apparently thinks nothing of hanging out in various locations where teen boys will be taking off their pants: bedrooms; locker rooms; bathrooms. I am just saying.

Derek wants to know what’s wrong with Jackson, and Jackson insists that it’s nothing. Derek explains that since Jackson is now part of his pack, he needs to know whenever anything is wrong. Jackson basically laughs in Derek’s face and tells him he’s not part of Derek’s pack. Derek smiles at him viciously and I assume he’s about to throw Jackson around the bathroom a whole bunch, but he’s distracted by the black goo that is now leaking out of Jackson’s ears.

Jackson goes from bitchy and defiant to a pathetic whimpering mess in about 1.2 seconds, and snivels at Derek to tell him what’s going on. Derek looks surprised, and tells Jackson that his body is fighting off the bite. When Jackson flails around and demands more information, Derek gives him a grossed-out stinkeye and backs away from him, shaking his head.

~*someone wasn’t wor-thy*~


Allison opens her locker and takes out the funeral dress. Scott peeks at her from around the corner as she finds, tucked into her books, his note saying “because I love you”. Allison smiles goofily at the note and closes her locker. A few feet away, some guy at his own locker compliments the dress, and in turn she compliments the complicated-looking camera he’s holding.

Allison’s happy smiles are gone pretty quickly when she overhears some other students across the hallway talking about Kate’s now well-known involvement in the Hale arson, and laughing about Allison being related to a crazy murderer. The guy standing near Allison notices her reaction and looks at her with concern, but she slams her locker shut and storms away before he can say anything.

Further down the hall, Scott yanks her into an empty classroom. She’s already crying a little, and tells Scott that she can’t handle going to the funeral and being judged by everyone for Kate’s actions. Scott promises that everything will be okay: they’re going to find Lydia and make sure she’s okay; Peter’s dead so there will be no more psycho werewolf killings; and Scott and Chris are going to get along and not kill one another, ideally. Allison looks very very slightly relieved, but it’s probably more from Scott’s comforting presence than from his words. He promises to be there at the funeral for her, even if he has to hide from everyone else.



That afternoon, Stiles sits in detention with Mr Harris and stares at the clock with increasing despair. The clock slowly ticks down until the hour has passed, and Stiles leaps to his feet to run off to freedom, glorious freedom! Stupid awful Mr Harris tells him sorry, no, detention is actually 90 minutes long today, because he is a tedious horrible person. Apparently Mr Harris is going to take out on Stiles all his frustrations at having had the Sheriff treat him like a suspect in the Hale arson case.

I will be quite pleased when he is eventually eaten by some horrible creature.


At the cemetery, Allison and her parents are swarmed by reporters and photographers as they walk towards the grave. Sheriff Stilinski and his deputies have their hands full trying to keep the press and the horde of nosy citizens back from the funeral services, so they don’t notice when a kid with a camera – the same kid that was standing near Allison’s locker – sneaks under the barricades and crouches down to take some snapshots of Allison.

Across the cemetery, Scott peeks out from behind a large statue and sees someone shove their hand down over the lens of the sneaky photographer’s camera – it’s a coldly pleasant white-haired old man accompanied by a couple of besuited bodyguards. The old man takes the camera away, telling the kid that it looks awfully expensive. The kid tells him it costs $900, so the old man yanks out the memory card and destroys that instead. How thoughtful.

Photographer kid backs away and the old man resumes his dramatic stroll towards the rest of his family, because let’s face it, there is no way this dude is anything other than an Argent. Gerard Argent, actually – it’s Chris and Kate’s father, and Allison’s grandfather. Allison has no memory of him, though, so she’s not too interested in calling him grandpa.

Stiles slips up behind Scott and watches Gerard talking to Allison. Gerard clearly has some super ninja hunter reflexes, because he immediately glances over to where Stiles and Scott are hiding, as if he somehow knows that he’s being watched.

As soon as Gerard sits down, Allison glances over to where Scott is now peeking out once again and smiles as he gives her a tiny wave. Stiles assumes that Gerard and his bodyguard-looking buddies are just there for the funeral, but Scott knows the Argents better than that – he knows that Gerard and everyone with him are there as reinforcements. Stiles has no time to ponder this information, because Sheriff Stilinski has spotted them lurking, and yanks them to their feet grumpily.

Stiles and Scott are shoved into the back of the Sheriff’s patrol car in disgrace while the Sheriff takes some calls on his police scanner – Stiles knows the scanner codes better than his dad does. Apparently, there was a heart attack victim on the way to the hospital when something hit the ambulance and got into the back somehow. Now there’s blood everywhere and the deputies have no idea what’s going on and would really like some back-up. The Sheriff tells them he’s on his way, and turns to look over his shoulder at Stiles and Scott. They’re already gone.


Stiles and Scott are sneaking through the woods near the ambulance accident site, wondering what the hell Lydia is doing now. The inside of the ambulance is a mess of blood and gore, and the heart attack victim is torn apart.

Scott stops and takes a dramatic sniff of the air and catches Lydia’s scent once again, and heads off to follow it. He runs through the forest, snuffling adorably, and catches sight of someone running into the trees off in the distance. Scott runs to follow, down on all fours, hilariously. Just ahead of him, the person he’s following also drops down to run on all fours. As Scott approaches, the other runner springs out of the trees and attacks him, but it’s not Lydia – it’s the scruffy hobo last seen digging through the trash outside the high school. Scott is completely confused.

Scott and the other werewolf fight for a few minutes before the other were runs away. Scott calls after him to wait, but he’s already gone.


Back over by the ambulance, a slim, grubby arm pushes some tree branches out of the way – it’s Lydia, completely filthy and completely naked. Stiles, standing with his dad, is the first to notice her stumbling out into the light. She looks totally traumatized and is covered with leaves and dirt and twigs, and could really use a good leave-in conditioner.

damn girl you need a day spa

Lydia finally hears Stiles calling her name, and, regaining a bit of her old smartass nature, asks if anyone is going to give her a coat. Stiles tries to yank his dad’s coat right off his shoulders but ends up faceplanting on the ground instead. Sheriff Stilinski sighs, and walks over to Lydia and covers her up with his jacket.


Scott’s pursuing the other werewolf through the woods until the hobowolf is caught in a snare trap. Scott stops to try and help him down, but Derek arrives and drags Scott away. Just in time, too, as Chris Argent and his hunter buddies arrive, along with Gerard.

Scott and Derek watch from the distance as Chris Argent tortures the hobowolf with a taser, demanding to know what he’s doing in town. The hobowolf came looking for an Alpha, since he himself is apparently an Omega, or lone wolf. He swears that he didn’t hurt anyone living, since the man in the ambulance was already dead, but Chris and Gerard don’t really care.

Gerard explains to the rest of the hunters that the Omega was either kicked out by his own pack, or is the only survivor of a hunted pack, or is possibly alone by his own choice. Either way, the Argents believe that Omegas are basically the scum of the werewolf world, I guess? Gerard then takes out a sword and chops the hobomega in half.

Scott can’t bring himself to watch, but Derek forces him to look and accept the fact that this is why they need to stick together – the only way they can fight the hunters and stay alive is by staying together, since the hunters are seriously declaring war.

Chris reminds Gerard that they’re supposed to stick to a code, but Gerard is past caring now that they’ve killed his daughter. He intends to kill any werewolf that they encounter, no matter who they are, how old they are, or if they’re already wounded and weak, or seemingly harmless.


Jackson’s laying in bed, choking on the black goo that’s still leaking from his ears and nose. A huge heap of dirty tissues is on the floor nearby.


Isaac Lahey’s wandering down into a disused subway station with a flashlight. As he shines the light around the room, he sees Derek standing in an abandoned train car, waiting for him.


Allison and Scott are cuddling in the forest, high on the ridge overlooking the lights of the town below.


Still in mid-rant, Gerard vows to KILL ALL THE WOFLS!