Teen Wolf – 2.03 – Ice Pick

Allison pulls into a quiet gas station in the evening and starts filling up her car. On the other side of the pump island, a cute guy walks out of the shop and gets on his motorbike. He shoots a flirty little smile at Allison before driving away. As soon as he’s gone, all the lights in the gas station go off, and Allison fumbles with the pump nervously in a hurry to get going.

Unfortunately, she seems to have misplaced her keys. She gets out of the car to look for them and immediately has a super creepy sensation of unease. Allison definitely gets a high five for for her “I Sense Something Creepy” skills, because in the very next moment, someone throws a bag over her head and drags her away screaming.


Allison ends up in the living room of the burned out Hale house, gagged and tied to a chair. Right across from her, the first thing she sees is her dad, similarly bound and struggling wildly. A digitally altered voice booms out of some hidden speaker and taunts Allison, asking her what she thinks would happen if a hunter gets bitten by a werewolf – what does she think her father would do if she got bitten? What would he HAVE to do if she got bitten? At this last taunt, Chris smashes the chair back and fights his way free.

Instead of running to free Allison, Chris gestures out into the shadows and the guy from the gas station appears. He hands Chris a cellphone – the taunting voice is just a voice memo, and this entire scenario is actually just a creepy Argent set-up.

Allison shouts that this better not be how they’re going to go forward in their father-daughter relationship from now on, and Chris counters that this is just training to be a hunter. Chris is pretty damn lucky that Allison’s still tied to that chair, because the look she’s giving him right now is awfully dangerous, and a wiser man would take steps to shield his groin.

Chris leaves Allison tied to the chair, not for his own safety, but to give her a lecture on werewolf hunting. The reason they use arrows, for example, is because the wounds won’t heal until the arrows are removed. Chris then brandishes the arrow that Allison shot at the Fake Deputy’s leg last week and asks her if she recognizes it. Of course she does, Chris, and what’s more, she proudly admits to having protected Isaac from being killed. Chris snaps right back that if they catch Isaac on the next full moon, they’re going to try to kill him again.

Before Allison can even react, Chris explains that these are the difficult choices that hunters have to make, but the decisions aren’t made by him. Allison assumes that Gerard is calling the shots, but actually, in their family, the tradition is that the men go out and do the killing, but the women get to make all the final decisions. So it looks like Allison’s mom Victoria is the most bloodthirsty one, as predicted.

Chris hands Allison her broken arrow and tells Gas Station Guy – Bennett – to time how long it takes her to cut herself loose. Eventually, Allison saws through the ropes and runs outside, where Bennett is waiting by her car. He congratulates her on a job well done, which she doesn’t think she deserves, as it took her 2 and a half hours to free herself. Bennett tells her it took him three hours when he had to do it. Allison smiles a tiny little satisfied smile and drives away.

As soon as she’s gone, Bennett heads for his bike to follow her out of the woods, but as he approaches it, he notices something odd – something reptilian is coiling on the ground in front of him, and soon wraps around his ankle. He’s upended onto the ground, and a clawed hand swipes at the back of his neck. Bennett gets to his feet and pulls out his gun, but he only manages to stagger a few feet away before he collapses to the ground. Across the clearing, the creepy lizard dude wiggles its hands – there’s some sort of gloopy fluid dripping from the claws, presumably venom.



Scott and Allison are taking their turn on the climbing wall in gym class. Allison’s doing much better than Scott is, and he suddenly realizes that she’s slowed down deliberately to let him catch up with her. A second later, he sneakily uses his wolfy powers to overtake her without her even noticing. In response, Allison kicks his foot off the support and he goes flying off the wall, saved at the last minute by his harness. Allison looks momentarily guilty but smothers a tiny smile nevertheless.

Next up on the wall is Stiles and a terrified, disheveled blonde girl named Erica. She stares up at the climbing wall like it’s her own personal version of hell, but she goes for it anyway, barely making it 3 feet up by the time Stiles has already made it to the top and back down again. At about 6 feet up, it’s all just too much for Erica and she starts having a panic attack; she’s got a death grip on the wall and is hyperventilating wildly. Coach Finstock tries to talk her down but is, as usual, largely useless.

Erica takes a deep breath and calls down that she’s fine, somehow managing to keep her voice steady despite her obvious fear. Allison whispers to Coach Finstock that this is probably not safe for Erica, considering she’s epileptic. Finstock boggles at this information, and calls back up to Erica to just kick off the wall and land on the mat. She finally lets go and is lowered gently to the ground. Finstock tells her she’ll be fine, and Erica walks away with a fake smile on her face as the majority of her classmates laugh at her weakness. Scott looks incredibly concerned as she leaves, because he is the most precious of puppies.


After class, the lights in the gym are turned down and everyone’s gone. Erica walks back into the room with an absolutely determined look on her face. She ties her hair back and steps up to the wall.


Meanwhile, Coach Finstock is in the locker room with the lacrosse team, reminding everyone that if they see Isaac Lahey anywhere, they need to immediately call the police or inform a teacher, since he is now a fugitive wanted in connection with his dad’s murder.

Scott and Stiles exchange marginally worried glances at this statement, but decide that anything involving Isaac is now going to have to be Derek’s problem and not theirs. Jackson overhears this conversation as they walk by and has the sudden realization that he’s not the only one in town who got the bite off of Derek.


Out in the gym, Erica is making excellent progress up the wall now that there’s less pressure and judgment on her. Unfortunately, this also means that there’s no one to hold the ropes attached to the safety harness for her. There’s also no mat at the bottom of the wall to catch her if she falls.


Scott tells Stiles that their plans are going to have to wait a while, because tonight’s not going to work for him. What with Gerard being creepy, and Isaac being turned, and the hunters everywhere hunting all their friends – yeah, it’s probably best to just stay home tonight, right? WRONG. Stiles is tired of hearing about Scott and Allison and all the good times they’ve been having, in great and terrible detail. Stiles thinks it’s about time that HE got to have some fun as well, and I absolutely agree. It is the shame of Beacon Hills that Stiles Stilinski is single, folks. It is a community embarrassment and I am judging everyone harshly.

i can’t think of anything to caption this that isn’t wildly inappropriate, even for me

In the middle of Stiles’ rant, Scott realizes that his hands are shaking weirdly.


Up on the climbing wall, Erica starts having a seizure. Her hands lose their grasp on the wall and she falls backwards to the ground, but at the very last second, Scott catches her, laying her down gently. Allison and Stiles are right behind him, and Allison tells Scott to turn Erica onto her side, asking how he knew that Erica was in danger. Scott apparently just sensed it with his wolfy seizure-sensing powers, I guess.


Later that evening, Melissa McCall is giving Erica a post-seizure exam. Melissa comments that she hasn’t seen Erica in a long time, since Erica’s been so good about taking her medication in the past. Erica asks if Melissa is going to tell her mom, and yeah, unfortunately, Melissa’s going to have to do that. As she drifts off to sleep, Melissa leaves her alone in the room, saying that the doctor will be in to see her momentarily.

As soon as Melissa’s gone, someone comes up behind Erica and starts wheeling her stretcher out of the room. They’ve gotten pretty far down the hall before Erica starts waking up, and at first she’s not sure if anything is actually wrong. Before she can call out for help, the mysterious stranger wheels her stretcher into the morgue.

Erica sits up slowly, scared breathless, and stares at her mysterious captor. Of COURSE it is Hotass Creeper Derek Hale, who, when not lurking in the showers of the boys’ locker room at the high school or sneaking into Stiles’ bedroom at night, has nothing he’d rather do than stretchernap girls in openbacked hospital gowns.

Oh Derek.

Derek’s holding a container of Erica’s anti-seizure medication and is casually reading off the list of unpleasant side effects: anxiety, weight gain, acne, ulcerative colitis – it all sounds pretty awful, and it’s no wonder Erica would rather risk a seizure.

Erica asks him who he is, and Derek gives her one of his terrifyingly hot/crazyface model smiles and says that they have a mutual friend. Erica is definitely no match for the crazy Hale charm and totally fails to scream for help.

you may stretchernap me whenever you wish, i am just saying

Derek seems to know a bit about seizures and symptoms, asking her about the warning signs she gets right before she has a seizure; Erica says that she gets a weird metallic taste in her mouth just beforehand. Derek quietly tells her not to lie to him, and she admits that it really tastes like blood.

He then puts on the full hotass show for Erica, explaining that he can make it all go away – the side effects, the symptoms, the seizures, everything. Derek yanks her towards him by her ankles creepily/hotly and continues with his bitey seduction, telling her that while all the bad things in her life will go away forever, everything else will totally get awesome.

Derek Hale that is a dirty fib and I am ashamed of you.

Erica is totally, totally hooked.


In class the next day, a tedious movie is playing in the background about vaccinations as Jackson and Matt argue about Jackson’s damage to Matt’s camera. Jackson is suddenly distracted by the tedious movie, especially when he hears about exposure to vaccinations causing immunity to things like animal bites. OHOHO.

Jackson turns around to glare over his shoulder at Lydia, who is oblivious to his attentions.

After class, he confronts her angrily in the hallway. He yanks at her arms, demanding that she show him her wounds, and she pulls away, scared to death of his crazy bullshit. Jackson rants that there’s something wrong with her and that she somehow passed her immunity to the bite onto him. Lydia, of course, has no goddamn clue what Jackson is freaking out about; all she knows is that she’s being violently assaulted in the middle of the hallway by her asshole ex-boyfriend and no one is doing anything to stop it.

do not want

Jackson screams in her face that she’s ruining it for him like she ruins everything, and storms away. Lydia just stands there leaning up against the wall, totally frightened and miserable. About halfway down the hall, Jackson seems to regret being such an enormous crazy douchebag to her, and glances back at her over his shoulder.


Lydia locks herself in a bathroom stall to have a full-on crying wailing freak out, which she has certainly earned. After a moment or two, she realizes that there’s someone in the bathroom with her. Some guy with dirty bare feet stops in front of her stall and looms there silently, which Lydia finds both gross and unacceptable. She tells the barefoot creeper that this is the girls’ bathroom, and he disappears.

Lydia runs out of the bathroom to see what the hell is going on, and catches a glimpse of the barefoot creeper going up a nearby staircase. She chases him down the hall and sees him stop in front of a glass trophy display case in the front hall. He stares into the case for a minute and then walks out the door, never turning his face towards Lydia but omg it is so obvious who it is.

ANYWAY. Lydia hurries over to the trophy case to see what Mystery Dirtyfoot Creeper was staring at – it’s bunch of old lacrosse trophies, and right in the middle is one with Peter Hale’s name on it. Lydia flashes back to the attack in the middle of the lacrosse field during the winter formal, and bites her lip trying not to cry.


Stiles strolls into the lunch room and sits down in front of some kid seated all alone. He asks the kid – Boyd – if he’s got the keys he promised Stiles, and Boyd holds them out. He doesn’t quite hand them over, because this isn’t a favour to Stiles, it’s a transaction. Stiles throws some cash down on the table, but it’s not the $50 Boyd was expecting. Stiles tries to bargain his way down to $40 but Boyd isn’t going for it. $50 it is.

Stiles walks away with these mysterious keys and sits down with Scott. Stiles tells Scott that as soon as he’s done with work that evening, they’ll all meet up at the rink.

Scott doesn’t have a chance to answer or argue, because at the very next moment, someone walks into the cafeteria that stops all conversation and thinking and sentience dead in the water. It’s Erica, and she’s had one hell of a hotass werewolf makeover.

Erica slinks up to a slackjawed bonerpopped unsuspecting classmate and sexily steals his apple, taking a huge bite right in front of his whimpering face. Lydia is not even the least bit pleased by this unpleasant turn of events, because it is obviously very offensive when people suddenly become attractive enough to threaten her status as the hottest girl in town.

Stiles and Scott immediately know what happened to Erica – this transformation has Derek’s wolfy little fingerprints all over it, right down to the leather jacket and evil smirk. They jump up from the lunch table and run after Erica. Jackson watches them leave with his now-permanent expression of WAAAH MY LIFE IS SO HARD affixed firmly to his face.

By the time they get outside, Erica is already driving away with Derek in his hotass sexmobile.

you can take me for a ride wherever you’re going IYKWIM


At work that evening, Scott is badly distracted and dropping stuff left and right. Dr Deaton confronts him gently, asking if there’s something on his mind. Scott mumbles something about everything just slipping through his fingers, and Deaton encourages him to look at this as the general way of entropy in the universe, because he is a ridiculous hippie veterinarian apparently. So things aren’t actually falling apart, they’re just changing shape. Scott seems vaguely encouraged by this.

Deaton gets up to walk away, and Scott nervously asks him if they’re ever going to talk about “the thing they never got a chance to talk about,” aka Scott’s Hairy Little Monthly Problem. Deaton sighs a bit and agrees that they should indeed talk, and says that right now is a good time. Instead of addressing the werewolf issue, Deaton tells Scott he’s going to give him a raise. Scott falls for this diversion 100% and even seems pleased to be told to clean out the cat cages. Scott McCall you are TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD.


Allison and Lydia are sitting in Allison’s bedroom, allegedly studying, when Chris wanders in to pull Allison aside for a moment. Allison is worried that her dad’s going to tell her to stop being friends with Lydia after the naked-woods-wandering incident of potential wolfitude, but Chris actually has something more cunning in mind – he wants Allison to continue being friends with Lydia in order to spy on her for the rest of the family. Allison finds the entire situation creepy and weird, and she gives her dad a super judgmental look. They glance back at Lydia, who is preening ridiculously and taking iphone photos of herself that she then kisses happily. Yeah, she sure looks like a terrifying potential threat.


Stiles unlocks a set of heavy double doors and flicks on the lights inside the ice skating rink. Allison and Scott prance inside happily, staring at each other with their usual ridiculous smiles of bliss. Right behind them is Lydia, who doesn’t seem inclined to skip similarly through the halls hand in hand with Stiles. Alas.

As they put their ice skates on, Lydia comments about how cold it is in the rink; Stiles immediately pulls out a spare, hideously orange, shirt from his bag. Lydia declines to wear something that clashes so badly with her outfit, so Stiles tries his next cunning stratagem: a reese’s peanut butter cup. Lydia accepts.

While she’s eating, Stiles attempts a terribly awkward analogy in which he reminds her that while blue and orange might not go well together, other things that you wouldn’t expect to be great together ARE in fact super great, like maybe two people that no one ever thought would be together, getting together. Lydia looks thoughtful for a second and then agrees with him, except she’s talking about Scott and Allison. Oh Stiles.

Scott’s never ice skated before, and Allison offers to give him a few pointers. Scott, however, sees no need for this because surely his enhanced werewolf reflexes will make him a super awesome ice skater, right? Of course Scott immediately falls on his ass.

Lydia’s doing much better. Actually, she’s right in the middle of the rink doing some awesome figure skating moves while Stiles stares at her like she’s made of cake and rainbows – his usual expression, basically. Lydia skates right up to him and grabs his hand for a turn around the rink, and Stiles can hardly believe his luck.

Allison’s still trying and failing to get Scott to stand on his own two feet without terrible messy disaster. Scott ends up smashing headfirst into the safety glass. Oops.

Off to the side, Lydia kneels down on the ice to inspect something odd. She picks up a small bluish-purple flower petal and studies it closely.

Allison and Scott are sitting in the photo booth, taking a bunch of pictures. Unfortunately, none of them come out very well due to Scott’s reflective werewolf eyes. (I guess no one who writes for this show has ever taken a photo of their pets or something.)


The only one that looks halfway decent is the one where Scott’s eyes are squished shut while Allison kisses him, so Scott rips that one off the strip and hands it to Allison.

oh my god this is so adorable i might actually die from it

Lydia follows a trail of flower petals across the rink until she sees an entire stalk of flowers sticking up from the middle of the ice. Just beneath the stalk is a large shadow, so Lydia brushes the frost away to see what it is. It’s Peter Hale, and when Lydia looks at him, he screams and starts banging at the ice.

Scott and Allison run back out into the rink to see what the commotion is, and they find Stiles holding Lydia while she shrieks and claws at the ice. There’s no flowers anywhere, and Peter Hale is nowhere to be seen.


The next day at school, Erica’s getting something from her locker when she senses Scott lurking behind her. She turns around and gives him a very superior look, totally unimpressed by his accusations of Derek being a horrible creeper. He wants to know who Derek plans on turning next, since two betas won’t be enough for Derek. Erica reminds Scott that they don’t really need a third, since Scott is already there, but Scott persists, demanding to know who Derek has his big red eyes on.

Instead of answering Scott’s question, Erica tells him that she never knew what she looked like while having a seizure until someone took a video of her seizing and put it online. Scott tries to tell her that he doesn’t care, but she continues – the video was taken during class, and everyone made fun of her for wetting her pants. Nope, sorry Scott, but Erica is perfectly happy with her life right now, because just like Derek promised, all her unpleasant problems have gone away. She slams Scott up against the lockers and gets right in his face, up close and personal.

Unfortunately, Allison is at the other end of the hallway and completely misinterprets this intimate scene. Erica follows Scott’s gaze down the hall to Allison and laughs in his face for his loyalty to his girlfriend. Scotty no likey.


Victoria Argent is straightening up Allison’s room, and some sort of creepy evil sixth mom/hunter sense leads her to find the note that Scott left in Allison’s locker on the day of Kate’s funeral – the one that says “because i love you”. Victoria glares at the note viciously and presumably tries to set it on fire with the power of her mind.

Since this doesn’t work, Victoria goes downstairs to the kitchen, lays down a tea towel, grabs a butcher knife, and slices her own arm open, because that is absolutely 100% what normal and sane people do when they find a love letter in their daughter’s schoolbooks. Yep.

Victoria ends up at the hospital, and oh what a surprise, Melissa McCall is cleaning up her arm. Victoria feigns embarrassment at her kitchen accident really badly; I have no idea how Melissa isn’t totally creeped out by the frozen robot smile on Victoria’s face. Lord knows I have nightmares about it.

Instead, Melissa assures her that she’s seen far stranger things in the emergency room over the years. They agree that it’s usually the men who do the really embarrassing things. Victoria casually turns the conversation to Scott, asking Melissa how he’s doing since the breakup. Melissa admits that he’s been a little weirder than usual lately, and specifically that he doesn’t seem too heartbroken about it. Victoria smiles and says that teenagers are good at hiding things from their parents. Victoria Argent, ladies and gentlemen! About as subtle as a bullet though the head.


That afternoon at lunch, Scott and Allison sit back to back at separate tables, which is totally casual and not at all obvious. They have a stilted conversation about Erica’s climbing all over Scott, and Allison tells Scott that she’s not jealous. Scott’s pleased to hear this, not realizing that Allison has much more serious things on her mind – she knows that Erica is with Derek now, just like Isaac. Scott doesn’t deny it, so Allison continues, telling him that he can’t get stuck in the middle of everything, because there’s always going to be someone caught in the crossfire. Scott can’t be normal anymore, though, and he’s going to be involved no matter what. Oh Scott. Allison doesn’t want you to be normal. She wants you to be ALIVE.

hilariously, allison’s outfit is almost exactly how i dressed throughout high school

Allison leaves the cafeteria to be upset somewhere away from Scott. Scott probably wants to chase after her and kiss it all better but Stiles’ arrival prevents him from doing so. Stiles has figured out who Derek’s next willing victim is going to be, because Boyd’s customary lonely lunch table is empty.

Scott plans to head over to the ice rink to find Boyd while Stiles checks out Boyd’s house. Stiles isn’t sure he’s down with this plan, though. In fact, he thinks that maybe they should let Boyd have what he wants. Scott is outraged at this terrible betrayal on Stiles’ part, and insists that no matter what Stiles thinks, he has a responsibility to protect people from having to go through what he himself is going through: losing control, maybe hurting people, and definitely being hunted by crazy killers.

Stiles finds this newfound heroism of Scott’s to be very attractive, apparently. Alas there are no makeouts to be had.



Jackson walks up to Derek’s house and rants at him through the closed door. Jackson is completely outraged and grumpy, wanting to know why the bite didn’t work on him. When there’s no answer from inside, Jackson kicks the door open to have his temper tantrum right up in Derek’s face. Derek’s not there, though. Instead, Jackson gets a faceful of shotgun barrels from a room full of hunters.

Chris Argent steps out and stops the hunters from shooting Jackson in the face. Does Jackson say thank you? Of course he doesn’t. Instead, he asks Chris what happened to Derek. Chris thinks his question is more important, namely what the hell is Jackson doing there? Chris throws his arm over Jackson’s shoulder and launches into his usual schtick of horrible threats disguised as pleasant friendly conversation. Chris really hopes that Jackson isn’t doing the same stupid thing he caught Jackson doing in the forest on the night of the dance, is he? He shoves Jackson out the door and Jackson stumbles away nervously.


Stiles pulls up in front of Boyd’s house and starts banging on the door. No one appears to be home, or at least no one who wants to talk to Stiles. Erica sneaks up behind him and asks him what he’s doing there. Stiles very very carefully manages not to stare at Erica’s cleavage, because he is a lovely person, but instead of acknowledging that Stiles is a decent human being, Erica smashes his head in with a piece of his own car. Car trouble indeed.

That is not very nice behavior, young lady.


Dr Deaton hurries into the dark animal clinic and turns off the burglar alarm, which is blaring relentlessly. He looks around the office for the potential burglar, but instead sees Bennett’s mangled dead body on the exam table. Chris Argent creeps out of the shadows and asks Deaton to give him his medical opinion on what killed the man, and Deaton looks at him like he’s completely insane. You’d think Chris would be used to these looks by now.

Deaton reminds Chris that this is an animal clinic, not a mangled dead body clinic, but as usual, Chris is really creepily persistent. Plus, Chris is very aware that Deaton isn’t just a regular vet.


Over at the ice rink, Scott finds Boyd riding around on the zamboni in the dark. Scott asks him if Derek’s actually given him all the details of what he’s about to do: not just the full moon issues, but everything, including the hunters. When Boyd says yes, Scott tells him that there are other ways to get what he wants that don’t involve Derek and his terrible plans, but all Boyd really wants is to not eat lunch alone every day. Scott promises that if he’s looking for friends, Boyd can do a lot better than Derek.

Aww, Scott, you’ve hurt Derek’s feelings. And of course Derek has snuck up behind him, along with Erica and Isaac, who are lounging around in their leather looking louche and ridiculous. Derek asks them for their opinions on their new friendship with Derek, and they both agree that Derek is super awesome and spectacular.

everything about this photo is simultaneously delightful and hilariously ridic

Scott sulks, because 2 against 1 isn’t exactly a fair fight. Derek tells him to just go home if he’s going to be a great big crybaby, and Scott glares at him, because that’s totally not what he meant. Derek gestures for Erica and Isaac to have a go at Scott, and they stalk over him with complete confidence.

Oh Derek, Scott meant it wouldn’t be fair for them. He wolfs out and launches himself at them, and it’s almost embarrassing how easy it is for him to kick their asses, even with 2 on 1.

They lose really badly. Derek just stands there smiling while Scott yells at Erica and Isaac, shouting that Derek didn’t do this to save them but to gain more power for himself. Boyd definitely looks like he might be having second thoughts.

Derek admits that it’s totally about power, and he wolfs out while walking up to Scott to knock his ass all over the rink. Scott does his best but he’s no match at all for Derek. As Derek walks away, leaving Scott bloody on the ice, Boyd jumps down from the zamboni to follow. Scott calls to Boyd to come back, because he surely doesn’t want to be like Derek, does he?

It’s too late, though – Boyd lifts up his shirt and shows Scott the bite mark on his side. Boyd agrees that he doesn’t want to be like Derek – instead, he wants to be a wolf like Scott.


Stiles wakes up in a dumpster with one hell of a headache, and one hell of a grudge against Erica.


Scott walks into the animal clinic looking for bandages. He’s concerned that his wounds aren’t healing as quickly as usual, and doesn’t even notice Deaton sitting next to Bennett’s mangled dead body until Deaton speaks up, telling him that the wounds won’t heal fast because they’re from an Alpha. Scott’s shocked that they’re finally going to talk about this, but agrees that it’s about time.


Jackson’s driven his truck – because apparently he has not one but TWO cars, wtf – out into the center of the lacrosse field and is taking shots at a small practice hoop hanging nearby. None of his shots are going in, and he throws himself into the driver’s seat of his car to have a good cry. When he goes to start the car and drive away, the rear tires get caught in the mud. Jackson takes this very personally and gets out of the car to have a huge crybaby hissyfit. He shoves at the truck until he ends up falling face down in the mud.

The tragic indignity of falling in the dirt seems to unleash something inside of Jackson. He glares at his own reflection in the shiny surface of the truck and then grabs hold of the bumper, lifting the entire back end of the truck out of the mud.