Jackson’s late night foray into personal video is playing scratchily. Eventually we see him sit up and stare at the camera with weird glowing eyes and twitches weirdly. There’s still a lot of stuttery damage to the video file, so all we see are random flashes of Jackson turning into the Kanima, with lots of fuzz and snow.
Danny sends Jackson an email from his tablet, telling him that the video is done being restored, and that he didn’t watch any of the video. Danny then tosses the tablet into the trunk of his car and leaves.
Somewhere on the other side of town, Derek is wolfed out and chasing someone – or something.
Allison and Lydia pull up outside Lydia’s house, and before Lydia can get out of the car, Allison asks her to promise not to say anything about what happened at Scott’s house that night. Lydia agrees to stay quiet, as long as Allison will actually tell her what happened in the first place. Lydia hates being kept in the dark. Allison tells her it’s complicated, and Lydia counters with demands to know what Derek was doing there, where Jackson went, and what was wrong with Erica. When Allison pauses to collect her thoughts, Lydia totally correctly accuses her of needing a minute to come up with a plausible lie. Oh snap.
Allison’s sad attempt at a plausible lie is that since she and Scott aren’t supposed to be seeing each other anymore, it would be best if Lydia didn’t mention anything about the entire evening. Yes, Allison, that makes total sense. Lydia is completely disgusted by her alleged best friend’s lack of trust, and angrily gets out of the car. Allison stops her to remind her that Scott’s not just her boyfriend, he’s the dramatic teenage love of her life. She asks Lydia to try to remember what it feels like to be wildly in love with someone. Lydia glares at her and says that she’s never felt like that about anyone.
Derek’s still charging down the streets of the warehouse district and finally slows down under an overpass. It looks like his tracking is still as good as ever, because as soon as he stops, Kanima!Jackson leaps out from the shadows to attack.
At the other end of the overpass, Scott and Stiles pull up in Stiles’ jeep, narrowly avoiding a row of security spikes set into the ground. Before the jeep’s even come to a complete halt, Scott is out the door and over the fence, running towards Derek and the fight.
Lots of crashy smashy supernatural beastly fighting occurs, and Kanima!Jackson seems to very slightly have an upper hand, since he’s able to scurry up the wall and hang out on the ceiling like it ain’t no thang.
Everything changes with the addition of a third party to the fight: Chris Argent. He shows up and starts shooting at Kanima!Jackson with explosive rounds. Half a dozen shots to the chest later, Kanima!Jackson is laid out on the ground, and Chris unwisely turns his back on him to look around for Derek. It comes as absolutely no surprise that as soon as Chris lets his attention slip, Kanima!Jackson slinks up behind him and tosses him onto his ass. Looks like you should’ve reloaded that gun, Chris.
Things look quite perilous indeed, and of course that’s when yet another person joins the scene: Gerard Argent. Gerard stares down Kanima!Jackson creepily until their weirdly intimate scene is further interrupted by Scott’s arrival. What took you so long, dude? Did you stop for ice cream?
Scott darts between them and knocks Kanima!Jackson ass over elbows, and away from Gerard. Scott and Gerard stare at one another for a moment or two, and then Scott just up and runs away.
Scott makes his way down an alleyway or two and finds himself outside a nightclub, hilariously called Jungle. Scott’s afraid that he’s completely lost Jackson in the maze of warehouses, and is so intent on finding him again that Stiles is actually able to sneak up on him for a change. Scott squeaks quite adorably with surprise and it is pretty much the best thing ever.
Stiles and Scott debate on whether or not Jackson even knows what he’s been doing, and wonder how he managed to pass Derek’s venom test. Eventually they realize that the test itself was faulty, because even if a snake can’t be poisoned by its own venom (which is not even true but whatevs), Jackson wasn’t the Kanima when they tested him with it.
As they argue, Stiles steps back slowly when he realizes that Kanima!Jackson is right above them and is sneaking into the nightclub through an upstairs window. Scott stares at the line of people waiting to get into the nightclub and realizes that he knows who Jackson is after – Danny.
Stiles tries the handle of a back door to the club, but it’s locked. As he looks around for another entrance, Scott yanks the handle off the door and solves their problem easily. Hooray for werewolf strength!
Inside, Scott suddenly realizes that there was something they missed about the nature of the club – everyone inside is a guy. In fact, Scott thinks it may even be a gay bar. Stiles, already surrounded by doting drag queens, does not actually need this update.
Danny’s over at the bar getting a drink, and he spots his ex-boyfriend out on the dance floor with a new guy. Danny makes the most tragic of sad panda faces, and the bartender tells him he’s better off without him, directing his attention to a different – and shirtless – hot guy across the room.
Stiles and Scott gallop up to the bar, and try (and fail) to get some beers. The bartender giggles at their fake IDs and gives them sodas instead. Scott’s soda turns out to be free, as a grinning hottie on the far side of the bar has already paid for it. Stiles sulks at his lack of game with the gay men as well as with the ladies.
(most unrealistic aspect of this entire show, etc etc)
Stiles sees Danny out on the dance floor at almost exactly the same time that Scott sees Kanima!Jackson lurking in the rafters directly above the dance floor.
(One of my favourite things about this show is that even though all the people on this show are unreasonably, ridiculously attractive, pretty much every single one of them is the world’s most incredibly awkward dancer. SO AWKWARD. SO HILARIOUS. I CANNOT CONTAIN MY FEELS.)
Lydia walks out into her backyard and sets her tiny little dog (named Prada, oh my god) down for a walk in the bushes. The dog takes a bit longer than usual, and Lydia suddenly notices that the side gate is standing wide open. Barefoot and shivering, Lydia walks over to the gate, nervously calling the dog’s name. Instead of scurrying back through the gate, Prada returns in the arms of Lydia’s mysterious friend from outside the guidance counselor’s office. He smiles kind of ruefully at Lydia’s surprise, and hands over the dog.
Scott carefully keeps his eyes on Kanima!Jackson and tells Stiles to grab Danny and run. Stiles shoves his way through the crowd on the dance floor and can’t find Danny anywhere, and his search is badly impaired when the smoke machines turn on. This also causes Scott to lose sight of Kanima!Jackson above them.
A few seconds later, Scott no longer has to search, because bodies are dropping all over the dance floor, paralyzed by the Kanima’s venom – including Danny. On the other side of the dance floor, at the end of the line of fallen dancers, Derek appears, wolfed out and ready to kick some lizardy ass.
Derek slashes his claws across Jackson’s lizardy throat, and Jackson falls to his lizardy knees. At the same time, the rest of the dancers finally notice the half-dozen paralyzed people twitching in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone panics and screams, because that is obviously what normal people do when others fall down.
Scott runs outside and follows the trail of Jackson’s lizardy blood to the parking lot. He finds Jackson laying on the ground, naked and bloody and semi-conscious, and fully human again. Stiles, having also followed the blood trail, arrives and looks just as lost as Scott.
Lydia confronts Guidance Kid and snarkily asks him if there’s a non-creeper reason for him to show up in her backyard in the middle of the night. Guidance Kid says that he heard the dog barking from his house, which is right across the street. He asks her if she’s okay, and Lydia knows he’s talking about her freakout the other day in class. She insists that she’s not crazy, even if she has been sleepwalking naked and scrawling weird mirror writing on the blackboard lately.
Guidance Kid leans towards her and Lydia immediately steps backward; when he asks her why she flinched away, she turns it right back on him, telling him he’s the one who stepped forward. Well maybe he wanted to kiss you, Lydia. Lydia suggests a punch in the throat instead.
Guidance Kid’s next stratagem is to hold her hand, and Lydia is similarly uninterested. Guidance Kid plucks a flower off a nearby creeping vine and hands it to her instead. This, it seems, is okay with Lydia. He asks her to promise to keep it, telling her that if he asks tomorrow if she still has it, and it’s gone, he’ll be really hurt. Lydia snatches it out of his hand with a smile and tells him if it comes down to that, she’ll just lie.
A virtual army of deputies and ambulances have arrived at the gay bar. As the EMTs wheel Danny out on a stretcher, Scott runs over to ask him if he’s okay. Danny wants to know if his ex-boyfriend was also mysteriously paralyzed, and when Scott confirms that he was, Danny says that he’s definitely going to be okay.
Scott leaves him to hop into Stiles’ jeep, where Jackson is doing naked unconscious things in the back seat. Stiles is pretty eager to get away before one of his dad’s deputies spots him and creates a neverending series of embarrassing conversations.
Alas, there is no escape to be had, as the Sheriff’s car pulls up directly in front of Stiles’ jeep. Even worse, the sound of the Sheriff’s siren wakes Jackson from his lizard-induced exhaustion, and he starts to fidget in the back seat of the jeep.
Scott and Stiles flail hilariously for a moment, helpless with panic. Stiles springs out of the car, attempting to look casual, and approaches his dad. Sheriff Stilinski is not the least bit pleased to see his son at yet another crime scene, and asks him what he’s doing there. Stiles tries to play it off like he’s just there because it’s a club, and the Sheriff points out that it’s not really his kind of club.
Stiles pauses for a moment and tells his dad that they need to have an important conversation, but the Sheriff isn’t going to fall for this deflection, and tells Stiles that he’s not gay.
Oh Sheriff Stilinski, just you wait til you see how your son looks at Derek Hale.
Stiles protests that he COULD be gay, and the Sheriff just laughs and tells him “not dressed like that,” which, lol, okay. He has bigger concerns right now anyway, and demands to know why Stiles keeps showing up at all these crime scenes.
Back in the jeep, Jackson seems really determined to wake up and ruin everything. Scott is forced to punch him in the face to knock him back out, and I’m sure he totally regrets it from the very bottom of his heart.
Sheriff Stilinski is really losing his patience with Stiles and his continued insistence upon lying about everything lately, and demands to know the real reason he and Scott are there. Stiles meebles a bit and then tells his dad that they were there with Danny, who was upset over his recent breakup. The Sheriff stops glaring at him and looks like he feels bad for having accused Stiles of lying, and tells him that he and Scott are good and thoughtful friends. Stiles maybe has a brief moment of terrible guilt, but it’s mostly relief. He gets back into the jeep and drives off with Scott and Jackson.
On the other side of the parking lot, Chris Argent gets into his SUV, where creepy grandpa Gerard is waiting, creepily. Like a creeper who creeps.
Chris tells him that 7 people were paralyzed, and that the police think that drugs were involved, because witnesses claim to have seen a demonic monster on the dance floor. Gerard smirks a little at the ignorance of the police, but Chris hardly notices, as he has something else on his mind – he can’t believe Gerard just stood there and stared down the Kanima earlier, before Scott chased it away.
Gerard handwaves this away as intuition, telling Chris that he has a feeling that he knows what it is, and if he’s right, the thing has to play by certain rules. Chris asks if they’ll have to shake down Derek for information, but Gerard’s not interested in playing with wolves now that he has a new lizard friend. He reminds Chris that this is the first time they’ve seen Derek out and about in a while, and since Derek was clearly in pursuit of the same creature they were, it would make sense to let the two of them fight it out instead.
Stiles and Scott are trying to figure out where to take Jackson. It needs to be somewhere safe where he can’t hurt anyone else, and secure enough that they can keep him there until they decide what to do with him. Stiles thinks the easiest thing would be to just kill him, but Scott is not down for this plan of death and mayhem. Okay, technically further death and mayhem. Stiles might have another idea, though.
Stiles’ idea? Oh god. It’s to steal one of the prisoner transport vans from the Sheriff’s department, drive it into the woods, and chain Jackson up in the back. Jackson wakes up and immediately knows who to blame for his half naked and handcuffed predicament.
Stiles gets into the back of the van with Jackson, carrying a backpack of supplies. Jackson doesn’t really care about the sandwiches on offer, though, he just wants Stiles to let him out. Jackson seems to have a lot of anger management issues, actually. He lunges at Stiles like a crazy frothing maniac, which Stiles does not appreciate, since he was the one who did Jackson the favor of putting pants on his unconscious naked self. However, Jackson does not seem interested in acknowledging Stiles’ brave and valiant sacrifice of being up close and personal with his junk.
Jackson only gets angrier and angrier, and doesn’t want to listen to Stiles’ explanation that they’ve chained him up to keep him from killing anyone else. Jackson rants and flails and tantrums, telling Stiles that his parents will be looking for him, but Stiles already has that covered. He’s taken Jackson’s phone and sent his parents a text message, pretending to be Jackson. What could possibly go wrong?
Mr Whittemore hands Jackson’s phone to Sheriff Stilinski as evidence of Jackson’s current dire straits. The Sheriff doesn’t see what’s so wrong about the situation or the message, so Mr Whittemore explains that the message can’t possibly be from his son, since the message says “love you” at the end. Jackson hasn’t said that to his parents since he found out he was adopted, 11 years ago.
Allison is sitting with Gerard in his office for a friendly interrogation. He wants to know who she’ll be studying with that evening, and she tells him she’ll be studying with Lydia for a history midterm. Gerard says that history was one of his favourite subjects, especially military history. Oh what a surprise. He quotes Sun Tzu and turns the conversation to the creature he and Chris are currently hunting, mentioning that they don’t know enough about their enemy. Gerard then, not at all casually, points out that Jackson didn’t show up to school today, and that his parents reported him missing. Does Allison maybe have something she wants to say about that?
Allison, in fact, does not. Gerard is pretty sure that she’s lying, and decides to find out for sure by creepily badtouching her neck and asking her to tell him again that she doesn’t know anything about Jackson’s disappearance, or if he’s in trouble, or if it has anything to do with Scott. Gerard tells her triumphantly that her pulse jumped, and Allison has had enough of her gross awful horrible creeper of a grandfather. She leaps out of her chair and tells him that her pulse jumped because he’s scaring her like a gross awful disgusting creeper. Gerard apologizes with his usual horrible creepy fake smile, and Allison looks like she can’t decide whether to stab him in the guts or just vomit directly onto his creepy awful fake smile.
Gerard sends Allison back to class, and when she leaves his office, she sees a maintenance man setting up surveillance cameras. As she walks down the hall, she sees similar cameras everywhere.
Allison arrives in class and leans over to get Scott’s attention, presumably to tell him about Creepy Grandpa’s recent bout of creepiness, or maybe about the video cameras everywhere. Their substitute teacher arrives and Allison is horrified to see that it’s her creepy mom, Victoria.
Jesus wept, these Argents are popping up everywhere, like a virus. And just as hard to get rid of.
Scott looks just as horrified as Allison, so naturally he’s the first person Victoria calls on to bring her up to speed with the syllabus.
Back in the van of shirtless bondage, Jackson is still not ready to believe Stiles’ story that he’s been turning into a murder lizard every night and slaughtering people all over town. He seems especially unmoved about the thought of having a tail.
Stiles asks him if he can remember what he did on the night of the lacrosse semifinals after the game. Jackson insists that he went home after the game, refusing to believe that he trapped Stiles and Derek in the pool for 2 hours. He remains incredulous throughout the rest of Stiles’ examples, including the murders of the auto mechanic and of Bennett. It’s not until Stiles tells him that he tried to kill Danny that Jackson seems even remotely interested. Jackson thinks Stiles is a moron, because why would he want to hurt his best friend Danny?
Well, Jackson, that’s what Scott is trying to find out right now, actually. Jackson snarls like the worlds grumpiest, most constipated little lizardpuppy, and tells Stiles that they should really be looking into getting a good lawyer, because Jackson is going to sue them.
Most people would threaten to kick someone’s ass, but not Jackson Whittemore! Nope, it’s spoiled little white boy lawsuits with daddy’s money all day every day. Oh how I laughed.
Stiles asks Jackson what happened to him on the night of the first full moon after Derek gave him the bite; Jackson sulkily admits that nothing happened at all.
After class, Victoria asks Allison about all the calls she’s made to Stiles recently. Allison already has a wonderfully plausible lie planned, and tells her mom that since Stiles has been in love with Lydia since 3rd grade, he’s the best way to keep tabs on her. Victoria seems to accept this, but as Allison turns to leave, she tells her daughter that she knows how hard it must be for her to be in the same room as Scott. She reminds Allison that as long as she’s strong and stays away from Scott, they won’t have to kill him.
What marvelous parenting skills you have, Victoria.
Stiles is standing outside the prison van, texting away on Jackson’s phone. He gets a creepy feeling like he’s being watched, and before he can turn around and see what it is, Allison sneaks up on him and scares him half to death.
Allison’s not just there to startle him, she’s there to give him the bad news that everyone knows that Jackson is missing. Stiles can’t believe it, since he’s been texting Jackson’s parents all day, pretending to be Jackson. Allison tells him that the Whittemores have already gone to the police, and Stiles panics and flings Jackson’s phone away like it’s on fire.
They listen to the police radio in the front of the van and realize that the Sheriff and his deputies have already tracked Jackson’s phone to the nature preserve and are on their way.
Allison and Stiles get into the van and drive off into the woods, leaving Jackson’s phone behind as a decoy.
Scott stops in to see Danny as he’s being discharged from the hospital, and Danny tells him that he and Jackson are fine and haven’t been fighting. He’s really more upset over the fact that the police took away his fake ID. When Scott asks again, Danny says that he’s pretty sure he and Jackson are still bros, since Danny was in the middle of doing him an important favor. Danny explains about the video, and Scott is immediately intrigued. Unfortunately, the video is on Danny’s tablet, which is still in the trunk of his car back at the nightclub. Scott wants to know what’s on the video, but Danny doesn’t want to reveal Jackson’s weird secret. Scott knows which buttons to push, and gets Danny to tell him in exchange for the return of his fake ID.
As Scott is rushing out of the hospital, he runs into his mom, who has decided that this would be a good time to lecture Scott about failing two classes. Scott, trying desperately to escape, tells him mom that’s exactly why he needs to go study with Stiles, right now. Melissa isn’t done lecturing, and explains to Scott that if he fails even one of his midterms, they’re going to hold him back a year. This definitely gets Scott’s attention. Social humiliation has a way of doing that in high school.
Scott rides his bike back to the nightclub to grab the tablet from Danny’s trunk. When he gets there, the trunk is already open – the lock’s been broken off completely. Of course, the tablet is gone.
Scott joins Allison and Stiles in the middle of the woods and tells them the bad news. He’s worried that since Jackson doesn’t ever remember being the Kanima and murdering lots of people, he’s certainly not going to remember something as mundane as stealing Danny’s tablet. Stiles doesn’t think it was Jackson, though, because why would Jackson steal it if he didn’t even know what was on it yet?
Allison gets to the heart of the matter, saying that it was probably someone else entirely who stole it, which means that now there’s an unknown person who knows what Jackson is. And maybe this person is protecting Jackson, since, as the bestiary said, the Kanima “seeks a friend”.
Inside the van, Jackson listens to their conversation with his magical lizardbeast powers of superhearing.
Stiles can’t figure out why someone would see Jackson making a video of himself changing into the Kanima, and then steal the video and erase part of it. Allison still thinks it’s someone who is trying to protect Jackson. Scott points out that the only thing they were able to learn about it online was that the Kanima only goes after murderers, which Stiles dismisses as nonsense, since Jackson tried to kill all of them. But Scott doesn’t think Jackson was actually trying to kill them all those times; especially in the pool with Derek, maybe Jackson was just trying to keep them there for mysterious lizard monster reasons?
Either way, they don’t know enough about what’s happening with Jackson to make any decisions, and even though Stiles still thinks that killing him is the best solution, Scott isn’t willing to do that just yet. Scott’s actually really upset at the idea of killing Jackson, because Jackson has no idea that he’s hurting people as a lizard monster thing – Scott feels bad for him, because when Scott was first turned, he had no idea what he was doing either.
SCOTT MCCALL YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD.
Anyway, Scott’s super upset because while Scott had Allison and Stiles to help him not hurt anyone as a brand new werewolf, but Jackson has no one.
Stiles thinks that it’s Jackson’s own damn fault that he has no one, and while Scott might very well agree with this very true statement, he still thinks it doesn’t matter – they have to save Jackson and help him any way they can.
Inside the van, Jackson notices something very odd starting to happen – scales are appearing on the skin of his hands.
Later that evening, Scott and Allison are sitting in Allison’s car to watch over Jackson. Stiles has left to go and try to apologize to Lydia for leaving her crying in her car the other night, which will be difficult since he can’t tell her that he was stuck in the pool with a hotass werewolf, trapped by a lizard monster who just so happens to be Lydia’s ex-boyfriend.
Scott wants to know how Chris and Gerard knew to show up at the gay bar the night before, and Allison explains that they have an army of evil henchmen monitoring the entire town, just like the surveillance cameras in the high school.
And then, predictably, instead of watching over Jackson, Allison and Scott decide to snuggle.
Inside the van, Jackson starts changing into the Kanima, conscious for the first time of his change. There is more than a little panicking involved.
In the car, Allison tells Scott to turn on the radio, hamfistedly making a plug for another Teen Wolf Corporate Sponsor. Scott asks Allison if she would want him to be normal again, if it was possible. He thinks that since Lydia seems to be immune to the bite, there should be a way to cure him somehow. Allison doesn’t care if he’s a Real Boy or a werewolf, she just wants them to be together forever and ever and ever and ever.
Of course the snuggling turns immediately into slobbery making out.
As they slurp at one another with wild enthusiasm, Jackson turns completely into the Kanima and explodes out of the back of the van. Scott and Allison don’t even notice a thing.
When Stiles shows up later, he seems fairly unsurprised to see them asleep in the back seat of the car. He drags them out to show them the results of their relentless humpings – the van is open and Jackson is gone.
Allison realizes that she’s going to have to tell her dad, because Jackson is probably going to kill someone right away. Stiles realizes that he’s going to have to tell HIS dad as well, which means that Scott is going to have to show the Sheriff proof that he can’t deny. He’s going to have to wolf out in front of Stiles’ dad and hope he doesn’t get shot for his trouble.
Allison gets home, and Lydia’s sitting in her bedroom in the dark waiting for her. Allison’s cold and impatient with her, telling her that she doesn’t have time to hang out with Lydia right now. Lydia’s not there to “hang out,” though – she needs someone to talk to. Allison is kind of too busy to be a good friend right now, and asks if Lydia’s problems can wait a little while.
Well. Lydia is more than happy to tell Allison about how her problems really can’t wait any more, coupled with a rant about how everyone is asking her to wait all the time. Allison comes right back at her with a rant of her own, telling Lydia that she can’t always have everything she wants immediately. Besides, Allison needs someone to translate a bunch of pages in Archaic Latin, and that’s way more important.
Oh Allison. Did it never occur to you to ask the smartest girl in school? Of course Lydia knows Archaic Latin, what else was she supposed to learn after she got bored with Classical Latin?
Stiles and Scott arrive at the police station to give Sheriff Stilinski the unpleasant news about their town full of werewolves and crazy hunters and murder lizards. Unfortunately, Jackson and his lawyer dad got there first. Sheriff Stilinski is not at all happy.
Lydia’s translation of the bestiary is different from Ms Morrell’s translation in one very important area – Lydia says that the Kanima seeks a “master,” not a “friend”. Allison realizes that this means someone isn’t protecting Jackson, they’re controlling him.