Supernatural 8.18 – Freaks and Geeks


Remember Krissy? Vaguely? Yeah, same here, but thankfully the previouslies are there to jog our memory about the child of a hunter going straight. There’s also a lot of vampire refresher course going on, so it’s safe to surmise that it’s gonna be of some import.

Conway Springs, Kansas, Krissy and a boy toy are sucking face in a parked car. A shadow streaks past the window and the kids seem freaked. That is until the boy hops out of the car and removes the shadow’s head from its shoulders (the shadow was actually a vampire, by the way). Another girl, Josephine, emerges from the shadow and we find out that the underage trio are playing bait and decapitate. The boy, Aiden, seems shook up but relieved.

One down, two to go.

Daylight. Sam and Dean pull up to the police station in full Fed mode. But first, Dean wants to know if Sam is up for this, because if he isn’t Dean is perfectly fine with him dribbling the ball at half-court until the clock runs out. Sam’s fine, but wants to know if Dean’s alright after the whole Castiel vs. Dean throwdown. Considering Castiel fixed Dean’s face, we can only assume that Sam is worried about any emotional damage that Castiel’s fists left on Dean’s soft, gooey center. Dean offers to steep them some rosehips and chamomile so they can chat while listening to Cowboy Junkies. If you don’t remember the 80s then think Portishead. If you don’t remember the 90s, then there’s no hope for you. Sam politely presents his middle finger and invites Dean to sit on it and twirl. Dean deems this heart to heart a success.

The sheriff isn’t holding anything back, he tells them all about the case: young dead girls with their blood Florida fresh squeezed out of them. He mistakes Sam’s blasé notation of this fact for interest. Because of the incidents they’ve set up a surveillance camera near the make-out point; lo and behold there’s Krissy and her crew. Dean pulls the Fed card and says they’re taking over the case. They are so lucky this was a local LEO and not NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Gibbs would have never handed his case over to the FBI, jurisdiction be damned.

Also? Dean would’ve made a really dick Fed.

Krissy, meanwhile, is checking into a ratty motel with a fake ID and cash only transactions. Good girl. She and her Scooby Gang have everything they need to take out their vamps and document their hunt. She dodges Aiden’s fumbling advances by rigging him up with transmitter and sending him off with Josephine. She watches the feed from her laptop as they sniff out a trail of blood leading into the room. Aiden does his best Sam Winchester impression and starts picking the lock.

Sam Winchester, lock picker extraordinaire, lets himself and Dean into Krissy’s room only to get a gun in their faces for their troubles. Krissy, being a teen with a chip on her shoulder and a give ‘em hell attitude, is too busy being ornery to appreciate the Winchesters and their offer of assistance. In fact, she claims she doesn’t need any help, she and her band of buggered got this, yo. Right up until the moment they don’t. The vamp takes off out the window with Dean and Krissy on its tail leaving Sam and the other two to tend to the value meal tied to the bed. The kids know how to handle the situation: treat the shock and call an ambulance to come get her. Impressive, young ones.

Krissy and Dean chase the vamp, but Krissy’s not down to run herself ragged and shoots him with a dart filled with dead man’s blood. Dean, engineer of the Walkman EMF and rock salt shotgun shells, is a bit proud of her and also annoyed with himself for not already having a stash of those in the trunk. He mentally puts it on the gear-up list. Dean is about to surgically remove the vamp’s head, but Krissy stops him. This isn’t his kill. Josephine’s family was murdered by vampire, this vampire according to her. Except the vamp claims it wasn’t him, the kill doesn’t ring a bell. He begs for his life, but she kills him anyway.

Dean decides he and Krissy need to have a conference. NOW.

Aiden is a tad jealous of the old guy from Krissy’s past. But he’s Dean Winchester, so who wouldn’t be, y’know?

Krissy is 110 lbs of sullen and snark. Her dad gave up hunting and life was all Norman Rockwell right up until she came home to find him dead and drained. Dean gets it, but he feels she’s too young to be hunting. Krissy is like looking into a female fun mirror in a time machine and Dean doesn’t like it one bit. She tells Dean that his concern is noted and disregarded. She and the others answer to Victor.

Time to talk to Victor.

Victor and the kids don’t live in a bomb shelter or a hovel; they live in a house. A nice house. It’s warm, it’s cozy, it’s upper-middle class. And the kids attend school. Regular school. Sam and Dean are impressed. Sam’s also probably retroactively super jealous. Victor and the brothers reacquaint themselves while the children scatter to do study (Josephine), clean their room (Aiden) and do a full hunt report (Krissy). Victor is building a better breed of hunter, better than lushy Bobby or quirky Garth.

Dean is not on board with this child rearing approach so he tells Sam to stay and keep an eye on the family that slays together while he heads off to investigate the nest. Breakfast at the mini-hunters’ house is a tornado affair that leaves Sam’s hair ruffled. Victor asks if Sam has any kids, but considering most of the women he’s slept with are dead the odds are pretty slim, besides he’s not even sure he wants them. Victor says the answer should always be “yes” and that kids in the life don’t have to put up with a life touring the grungiest motels in the lower 48.

Dean’s catching up with the vic from the night before. Turns out that she and the vamp Josephine dusted were kidnapped together by a guy wearing a hoodie, only the vamp wasn’t a vamp, he was war hero Jimmy Day. Everyone loved Jimmy Day. Very human, freshly returned from Afghanistan Jimmy Day. So he probably wasn’t the one that killed Josephine’s family three months ago. That’s fishy.

Sam is wistfully gazing at the family photos lining Victor’s happy home when the kids come storming in. Victor has pulled them out of school because he got a lead on the vamps that killed Krissy dad. So… not that different from John Winchester after all. He’s got all kinds of evidence about the vamp: a police sketch, a non-time stamped surveillance pic of the vamp wearing Krissy’s mom’s necklace, y’know, totally reliable info. Now Sam feels iffy about Victor and calls Dean to fill him in. Dean backtracks to the motel to do some recon and gets a lead on a vamp in a hoodie that seemed really interested in a brochure for a summer lodge. At the lodge he finds a newly turned vamp. If she and her necklace look familiar, well they should, Victor just showed them to you.

The vamp is more than a little freaked out by recent events. She’s not sure what happened to her but it hurts and she doesn’t like it at all. Dean quickly realizes that she’s pre-first kill and is trying to decide his next step when all of a sudden three rugrat hunters have their guns trained on him and the vamp. These kids are adorable if they think Dean is remotely worried about this, in fact he immediately disarms Aiden much to his very red-faced chagrin. He tries to reason with the kids about his theory about them having the wrong vamps and starts schooling the little ones about monster gray areas. This vamp hasn’t fed so if they can get the blood of the vamp that vamped her then they can cure her. Canon lore throw back, holla!

Meanwhile, Sam has mentioned hoodie!vamp in the blue pedo van to Victor so they embark on their own hunt. Except really it’s just a trap Victor and hoodie!vamp set up to get Sam outta the way. If you hadn’t figured it out, Victor is not on the up and up. So much for acting higher than mighty about Martin, because Victor is clearly his very own brand of batshit. Back at the house Victor ties Sam to a chair and begins trashing the place to stage his show. Victor was serious about building robo-hunters, the next generation of harder, better, faster, stronger. He’s just got a twisted way of doing it. He’s probably been listening to too much Kanye lately.

Of course, in true super villain fashion, Victor talks to much and takes too little action so Dean and his nursery come back right in the middle of his rant. Hoodie!vamp tells the kids that he was the one that snack-packed their families on Victor’s orphanating orders. Victor scouted them and set their paths in motion. The kids are pissed and refuse to continue blindly following Victor. Valid, considering the betrayal and all.

Hoodie!vamp takes Aiden hostage so that he and Victor can make their escape. Way to underestimate your protégés, Vic. Josephine creates a distraction while Krissy nails hoodie!vamp right through the eye with a dead man’s blood dart. Twice. She’s got her gun pointed at Victor now, ready to take him out as vengeance for her father’s death. The brothers beg her not to, but she pulls the trigger once, twice, thrice and a fourth time. He’s fine though, the gun wasn’t loaded. She says the worst thing is leaving him alone for the rest of his life. Victor pulls a gun out from his ankle holster and blows his own brains out in front of everyone. Because these teens aren’t traumatized nearly enough.

They get the newbie!vamp a cupful of hoodie!vamp’s blood so they can cure her. Gross, but effective. Dean demandingly offers to take Krissy to stay with her aunt in Cincinnati, but Krissy wants to stay with her makeshift family. Dean figures she wants to stay because of Aiden, Krissy unconvincingly denies the reciprocity of Aiden’s crush. Dean agrees to leave them be, but warns her that he’ll be sending Garth in to do bunk inspections from time to time. Krissy declares Dean not bad for an old dude. Dean maintains that he isn’t old. Never mind that between his lifestyle, his time in hell and his wormhole of classic rock he’s pushing 85.

Dean has one last thing to do before he leaves. He calls Aiden over for a chat. Aiden thinks Dean’s gonna give him a big brotherly shovel talk about Krissy, but actually he warns Aiden to treat Krissy right of she’ll personally rip his balls off and feed them to a ghoul, no brotherly stand-in necessary.

As the brothers leave Sam concludes that what the kids have there is good. Which is a brand new level of moronic because these kids are now in the life and there’s only one way out. Well, no, there’s lots of ways, but all the ways are painful and bloody and scary. Dean tells him the only way these kids have a shot at normal is if they can successfully close the gates of hell.

Sam hopes that the kids aren’t the only ones with a chance.