Previously on Sleepy Hollow, we learned the devastating history of Ichabod’s son, partly so Tom Mison could look beautifully vulnerable and please me greatly. Plus Henry Parrish returned to Sin Eater the exposition of a story of witches and carnivals (seriously) and charm the socks off of me. And now:
“Hell hath frozen over,” Abbie declares when Ichabod reluctantly parades around in, wait for it, his new SKINNY JEANS. He doesn’t understand her “obsession with my finery” and why she wants him to change what he’s wearing. Maybe because of some of the lingering cave grave damp, Ichabod. *coughs delicately* No dice, though, he’s back in ye olde duds a moment later.
Tom Mison’s legs are so, so skinny! I mean, there are skinny jeans and then there are skinny jeans. And apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so:
But if Abbie’s stuck on Ichabod’s wardrobe, then he’s intent on figuring out Moloch’s message to him. You know, that jerkwad demonic nyah-nyah to add insult to Ichabod learning his son was buried alive by unison-speaking witches. You don’t remember? Probably because it was before we went on hiatus for OVER A MONTH, not that I’m bitter or anything.
Meanwhile, poor Frank Irving has to watch the hot chocolate vendor undergo righteous questioning because of the subpar mint hot chocolate he was sloshing. No, really it’s for acting as a demon ventriloquist’s dummy and threatening Frank’s daughter Macey. Of course the spirit possessing vendor dude is now long gone, having moved with a touch to someone else.
I tell you, Abbie’s ex Morales (my god, remember him? We haven’t seen him in an age!) looks evil already, even before he is (because you know he’s going to be) possessed by bad-touch demon.
Actually possessed!woman arrives and promptly feels up a deputy so he gets the fish-eyed demon POV. Oh no, Irving’s threatening phone call is coming from inside the house — station, I mean! We get a classic “look around, lots of folks on the phone, COULD BE ANYONE.” Also some legit creepy blood-writing spelling THE BIBLE drips from the ceiling and disappears. Irving keeps on making himself look nutso when he pulls a gun on possessed!deputy, who of course has already caress-possessed Morales’s partner. These are some handsy folks, y’all.
“You’re talking about possession,” Irving’s priest pal says gravely. Yes, and probably exorcism, KEEP UP! He agrees to meet him at the safe house where Irving will take Macey and her mom.
Let’s head to Abbie & Ichabod’s Awesome Sekkrit Hideout, where they wave around George Washington’s Bible. The demon wants it delivered, or he’ll hurt Macey. Irving agrees not to nab it if Abbie and Ichabod help him research this demon and bring him down!
“Corbin has an entire section on possession,” Abbie notes. OF COURSE HE DOES! Bet you dollars to doughnuts they find the bit they’re looking for right away — look, they’ve already got it, a recording of Corbin trying to exorcise a demon who jumps from body to body.
Awww, CORBIN! I was ridiculously excited to see Clancy Brown’s face again!
Corbin tells the camera he’ll attempt to help a nineteen-year-old woman (how much do I love that Sleepy Hollow straight up calls her a woman? If this were Doctor Who, she could be thirty-seven and still being called The Plucky Possessed Girl). Who else thinks this is going to be Jenny — yup, crazy white-eyes possessed Jenny!
Oh my gosh, Abbie ACTUALLY PHONED JENNY to tell her they would like to watch the recording! They didn’t watch it without her because they didn’t want to invade her privacy! Look at you all, COMMUNICATING! *smooshes the characters together with a heart brimming with pride* “So evil wants your playbook?” Jenny asks. She’s disturbed, but agrees to watch when she learns Macey is in danger.
“She has been marked,” possessing!demon intones from Jenny’s mouth on the recording. It scoffs at Corbin’s rosary as a “trinket” while Corbin intones that bit from the Gospel of Matthew, about how even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. “I will kill the sister,” demon growls, disarming Corbin who realizes Abbie is threatened. Jenny’s body flies up, still strapped to a chair, and Jenny, shaken, turns off the tape.
“You never told me,” Abbie says. Jenny makes the terribly valid point that Abbie would not have believed word one of it. She herself doesn’t remember how Corbin vanquished the demon. Um, maybe you could all watch the rest of the recording and find out?
Irving arrives with Macey and his ex-wife at the safe house, which is an awesome looking wheelchair-accessible cabin. Man, I’d like to go on vacation on these locations.
Whoops, the evil spirit just jumped to Morales from his partner (totally unclear why; I think it’s just a fidget-y easily-bored demon). You would think John Cho would turn up at this point, am I right?
Lucky Jenny’s driving a clinker; Ichabod arrives to talk to her before she can vroom away. “Why must you and your sister insist on keeping such a stockpile of strange apparel?” he asks, holding up a lacy bra. Jenny, you were totally at Make Out Point with Irving, weren’t you? :DDDD “Says the man who wore powdered wigs and stockings,” Jenny counters. With the deadline to save Macey looming, Jenny agrees to help despite her misgivings.
Gah, poor Jenny. Soon after she and Abbie met Moloch for the first time when they were kiddoes, she “would lose time” and do or say terrible things. Everyone chalked it up to her being a troubled youth. When it wasn’t possessing her, and even after Corbin helped her, “I’d have these thoughts about Abbie….So I’d break a law or two, get myself locked up.” Basically all those arrests were her attempting to protect Abbie from herself. MY HEART!
Okay, so the recording ends abruptly, but Ichabod figures out (a) the pause button (well done) and (b) that a salt circle kept the demon constrained. Over at the safe house cabin, Irving’s priest buddy sprinkles holy water and salt over the threshold. Possessed!Morales gets the partner deputy to sweep away the salt, mostly through peer pressure. Then he breaks the partner’s neck, mostly through demonic pressure.
When Jenny recommends rewinding the tape, Abbie realizes the demon could be saying stuff backwards — because our writers totes grew up in the 1980s when you spun your vinyl records backwards to hear heavy metal satanic messages. “Anticif cannot be defeated,” turns out to be the message (actually, a lot like those brag-y heavy metal satanic messages).
A split second later (like, Giles and the rest of Buffy’s gang wish they had this much research luck!) Abbie finds the right book explaining Anticif, who was first recorded in 1647 when he possessed a group of Catholic nuns. Good times! The woodcuts show a “blessed lantern” from the time of Louis XIV. “Anyone up for a trip to Paris?” Abbie says hopefully (who knows what she might find for Ichabod to wear there! Fun Time Dress Up Ahoy!).
Unfortunately, the Paris trip is a no-go. And just when I wanted to envy someone having excellent pain au chocolat, too. Both Ichabod and Jenny recognize the lantern: Ichabod, from when Ben Franklin got it as a gift from the French for his diplomatic efforts; Jenny, from a group of whackadoodle survivalists who happen to have their compound in good old Sleepy Hollow! Let’s go there now!
At the safe house, Morales stares at the Irvings with his fish-eyed demon POV and looks like a tool. When Macey heads off to study, Irving’s ex-wife confronts him: “they’re after our daughter, aren’t they?” She’s frustrated at how much he takes all their problems on himself, acting like “we’re broken and you need to fix us…we’re stronger than you think.”
God, can I just say, I hope the Bad Touch Demon doesn’t pass to Irving, because I will WEEP if he tries to kill little apple-of-his-eye Macey! Uh oh, possessed!Morales heads inside Macey’s room and closes the door, which is all kinds of inappropriate never mind the demonic possession issues.
I swear, when I saw Abbie and Ichabod and Jenny walking down the street in triangular badass trio formation, I started humming the BeeGees, “Jive Talkin'”.
They tell Irving what they’ve learned. He gets a call from Morales: “Sundown is upon us. You failed.” Noooo! Slo-mo run back to the cabin, Irving!
“Daddy!” Macey cries. Her mother is trapped in one room, and Irving quickly finds Morales passed-out (dead?) on the floor. Macey is all wild-haired and suspended from the ceiling, because this Bad Touch Demon has a thing for possessing kids (I mean, most tool-ish demon ever).
“They believe in the coming Armageddon?” Ichabod asks of the survivalists they’re about to visit. “Sensible folk.” Um, not really; Jenny talks about their crazy store of guns and munitions. Abbie mutters she’s got a bone to pick with Ichabod’s founding fathers about all that right to bear arms stuff.
When she hears Jenny plans to steal the lantern, Abbie worries her sister will go back to prison. “Which is why I’m going to steal it,” Abbie concludes. “Guess those social workers were right. I really am a bad influence,” Jenny says, sounding pleased. Sisters! Sisters! There were never such devoted supernaturally imperiled and badass sisters!
While Macey shakes back and forth transforming from demon to Irving’s daughter, the priest (did you still know he was there? Because I completely forgot about him) rushes out with a crucifix and a “Be gone, Satan!” Someone had to hit that note, right? The demon promptly breaks his neck and uses a fake-out sad, “Daddy?” to get Irving’s ex-wife in its grasp. Deliver the Bible or “it’s Mommy next.”
“He wants us to get there in time to stop this,” Abbie decides when Irving calls them in the car to say he’s out of options and wants Washington’s Bible, stat.
At the compound, Jenny delivers Ichabod and Abbie specific directions by phone to avoid security cameras and booby traps, but Abbie draws the line at lock-picking instructions (pfft, she totally taught Jenny).
In the munitions shed, Ichabod observes “your ceaseless quarrelling [with Jenny] only shows how much you two care about one another.” He reveals Jenny’s rationale for getting locked up just before Abbie spots the lantern high atop a locker. After some short jokes (“the irony being your generation is purportedly two inches taller than mine” Ichabod deadpans), Ichabod gives Abbie a boost so they can get it down. Of course as soon as they head out with the lantern, bright flood lights click on and there are some scary camouflaged survivalist folks on all sides.
Though the survivalists don’t care “a child’s life is at stake,” Ichabod impresses their leader by recognizing Jonathan Edwards sermon quote about how they’re all “just spiders dangling over the pit of hell.” “Don’t let that girl fall into the fire,” Ichabod appeals to them, showing off his pretty blue eyes (just me?). “Put down the lantern and get off my property or I’ll show you the door to hell myself!” Weaver roars. Unreasonable threatening survivalists; who would have thunk it?
“Not if I show you first,” Jenny bites out, atop some thingy so she’s towering over everyone. “You know I’m the best shot here,” she says grimly while promising to return the lantern. “Never could say no to you,” the survivalist says with a kind of bow to her. Now that’s exactly the kind of man you want crushing on you. “You may break in quicker but I’m better at breaking out,” Jenny tells Abbie as they leave.
Over at Abbie & Ichabod’s Awesome Sekkrit Hideout, Irving finds Washington’s Bible missing from its box. When the demon sneers at Irving for always fighting other people’s battles and putting his family in danger, Irving pleads to Macey, “I know you’re in there, and I need you to fight,” because she doesn’t need fixing: she’s strong like her mother. Honestly, I would have loved to see Macey being just that awesome that she could defeat the demon through sheer force of plucky will. Instead the demon fakes them out again only to pick Macey’s mom up by the throat and throw Irving across the room with a look (those teenage years: tough on everyone).
“Seven years ago I invaded you,” the demon growls when Jenny’s the first on the scene. Ugh, the pedophile overtones of this demon are making me a rage-y. Though he taunts Jenny for still having evil thoughts about Abbie, “She got rid of you once; now we’re going to send you back to hell again,” Abbie says firmly when she enters.
“You’re a coward. Why do you pretty on children?” Abbie demands. RIGHT? When the demon claims “we have much more in store for you,” Abbie tells him to bring it now. “What are you waiting for? I’m right here!” Easily swayed apparently, the demon comes at her, only to be blocked by the salt barrier because SALT IS AWESOME AND SAVES THE DAY.
“And the Lord’s light shone true and unmasked the wretched creature,” Ichabod intones, brandishing the fancy lantern that catches the demon inside. Total Ghostbusters move.
Macey comes back to herself on the floor, calling for her parents and unsure what’s happening. Awww, I got all verklempt when Irving took Abbie’s hand and thanked her! Poor Jenny looks lost watching the family scene, until Abbie walks over and hugs her. Jenny stiffens then lets herself wrap her arms around Abbie in return. I absolutely adore them together; I hope Lyndie Greenwood comes back for tons and tons of eps in s2!
Ichabod and Abbie retrieve Washington’s Bible, hidden at the cabin. Would Irving have handed it over? “I removed it so we would never find out,” Ichabod says solemnly , noting “who’s to say what I would have done in his stead?” Um. *scratches head* Anyone else feel like that’s foreshadowing?
Ichabod sits at the table making an A+ looking natural cleaning solution of lemon juice and perhaps baking powder…aww, nuts, it’s just a solution to make invisible ink glow. *kicks things* Based on the “fetid stench still emanating from the pages” (Abbie ew-faces when Ichabod sniffs the Bible), he’s determined the message they’ve been searching for will be revealed when they apply the solution.
“December 18th, 1799,” the page reveals (in Washington’s own hand, might I add; I like to think he and Ichabod stayed up nights analyzing each other’s handwriting and perhaps playing, “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” in a colonial-era style boy slumber party that he can recognize the handwriting like that). But Abbie notes that Washington died Decmeber 14th of that year. “How could he write it after dying?” “That is what we must discover,” Ichabod replies. Dun dun DUNNN!
Okay, we’ve barely got the show back in the new year, and now we’re facing the two-hour season finale next week. Definitely tune in with me to see what kind of crazy awesome rewriting-history bang Sleepy Hollow will end this season on!