Orphan Black 2×04 – Governed as It Were by Chance

Clone terror is the worst terror of them all

Clone terror is the worst terror of them all

Previously: Alison’s opening night involved a lot of drinking, pill popping and falling off the stage. Bravo! Cosima does research on the dead clone Jennifer. Daniel shows up at the Cabin of Lies and breaks up the love fest by grabbing Kira since Sarah and Cal have taken a page from The Book of Parenting, by Lori Grimes. Where’s Carl? Carl? Anyone seen Carl? Now just sub Kira’s name for Carl. Sarah plays smash up derby with Daniel’s car. Suck it, Daniel!

You. Guys. ZOMG. This episode…I mean…it just..*dies*

Apparently it was Cal driving the truck that smashed into Daniel’s car. He helps Sarah out and tells her Kira is safe. It looks like Daniel is dead. Byeeeeeee. Sarah starts grabbing branches and covering the car. I guess there’s a LOT of excess branches lying next to the road if there’s enough to cover an entire car but I’ll just STFU now. They get in Cal’s car and drive off.

News Flash: Gracie still hates Helena with the passion of a thousand burning suns. She tells Henrik that it’s awake and speaking gibberish. Henrik emphasises she, and tells Gracie that Helena’s speaking Ukrainian. Gracie glowers in her ginger way.

Helena is still groggy and confused and still in the white wedding nightgown dress. She mumbles that her head hurts and Henrik’s wife, Bonnie, soothingly says it’s just the sedative. Oh, that’s all…no big deal. Helena wants to know what they did to her. Bonnie strokes Helena’s head, telling Helena she’s injured. Ew, get away. Helena remembers people all around her and is told it was just the family. Henrik walks in and says yeah, we were just saying hello. You know, like people do. Normal non-cult people gather around drugged women all the time.

Henrik reaches out to touch Helena. Frightened, she protectively rolls to her side and eyes the ring on her left hand. Aw Helena! You break my heart. Stop being mean to Helena, creepy cult family!

Alison opens her eyes. She’s still in her stage clothes and her makeup is a disaster. She looks and feels like crap. She clutches her stomach and races to throw up in the bathroom. Alison isn’t doing so great. She looks around and realises she’s not at home and her arm is in a sling. A woman walks in with a small suitcase and lays it on her bed. Alison immediately thinks she’s been taken by the DYAD Institute and demands to talk to Dr. Leekie. Ha, joke’s on her. She’s in rehab.

Cal drives Sarah to an abandoned farm where Kira is waiting. He has a camper there, not registered to him, and the three start driving. Cal still thinks Sarah’s finally scammed someone powerful and she doesn’t correct him. She must feel like the boy who cried wolf. She still has Daniel’s phone and answers Rachel’s texts asking for an update. As long as they think Sarah’s been caught and is on her way with Daniel no one will be looking for her.

Art is still near Creepy Cult Farm, taking pictures of Bonnie as she hangs laundry. He must be as impressed as I am cause those whites are the whitest whites to ever white. They must go through a lot of bleach. Bonnie knows he’s there and tells Henrik that the cop is back. Henrik says Art can take all the pictures he wants.

Gracie brings a sleeping Helena some clean bedding and a new pillow. I’m immediately suspicious and sure enough, evil little ginger Gracie shoves the pillow over Helena’s face.

Never let a ginger bring you fresh bedding

Never let a ginger bring you fresh bedding

Still drugged, Helena fights back weakly but cannot escape. She plays dead and Gracie falls for it. Gracie lifts the pillow and stares at the ‘dead’ Helena. “Go back to hell where you belong,” she says spitefully. As she walks away Helena jumps on her back and strangles her. “Go to sleep now,” Helena tells her, and she does. Stupid Gracie.

Helena runs down a hall and through some hanging protective plastic, finding herself in the operating type room that Henrik carried her to at the end of the last episode. She stands there in terror as horrific bits and pieces of the night come back to her: laying on the table, Henrik leaning over her, instruments being gelled up for insertion, Cowboy Mark in a surgical mask, Henrik slowly parting her legs, inserting something between them. It’s every woman’s nightmare. Helena’s terrified and furious and grabs a scalpel, slashing at the hanging plastic as she makes her escape.



Bonnie finds the unconscious and murderous Gracie on the ground and angrily screams for Henrik.

Art is still looking constipated and still taking pictures of the cult farm. Through his zoom lens he sees the cult boys gathering up arms and milling about. Helena runs into his frame and he lowers the camera in surprise. He just can’t believe that there’s another one that looks like Beth.

Helena briefly slows and they stare at each other, but she’s not trusting no constipated-looking guy with a camera, no siree. She keeps running as Art calls out after her. He chases her for a bit but Helena isn’t about to stop and soon is far off in the distance. Good work, Detective Art. Don’t be scared to help the terrified girl wearing a white wedding dress nightgown and rubber boots who is obviously escaping untold horrors from a creepy cult farm. Just let her go, I guess. Maybe she just really needed to get some more bleach, amirite?


Soon enough, the creepy cult boys show up with guns and dogs. Art, wearing his most constipated detective expression, shows them his badge. Cowboy Mark (so disappointed in you, Mark! You love Helena, admit it!) tells Art he’s trespassing and Art smugly points out that their property line ends over there, so they should also have permits to carry those there guns on public land. Mark hands the guns to one of the posse to bring them back on the property line and then carries on looking for their escaped bride clone while Art just watches them go. Wtf Art? Wtf.

Cosima is watching more of dead Jennifer’s video diaries when Sarah Skypes her from the camper. Sarah notices how pale Cosima looks but she just brushes it off and fights showing how sick she’s getting. She still hasn’t told anyone but Delphine that she has the same illness that killed Jennifer and would have killed the German. Sarah updates Cosima on what’s happened and shows Cosima the picture of Project Leda. She tells Sarah the mythology of Leda and the Swan. (Commenter Flame Princess totes called this!)

Basically Zeus, in the form of a swan, comes down to Earth and seduces/ravages Leda. She has twins that are half human, half gods. Cosima also points out the soldier in the background and thinks it’s military.

Sarah decides she’s coming back to town to see if she can find out anything else from Mrs. S. Their Skype call is barely ended before Cosima succumbs to another bout of bloody coughing. Noooooo Cosima, noooooooo. :’(

Hey, remember the weird looking guy that has Kira and then brought Sarah to Mrs. S? He gets into his car ad the startled to find Mrs. S in the backseat. He’s heard about the killing of the Birdwatchers (the two people Mrs. S shot at the house) and nervously tells her he wasn’t involved when he finds out it was a double cross. Mrs. S. knows. Weirdo wouldn’t be alive if she thought he was involved.

Mrs. S. needs to go to London to talk to Carlton. Carlton was the person she told Sarah about in season one, that he smuggled people out of countries, helped kids. He went to jail. Weirdo says she doesn’t have to go to London to see Carlton, he’s here, in town.

Alison is still in rehab and guys, she is completely traumatized by the disgusting people around her. Felix is here to see her and she’s thrilled. She can’t leave unless someone gets her out. She’s convinced Donnie stuck her in here. Felix informs her that rehab usually requires consent. Alison is floored. She admits she doesn’t even remember the curtain going up in the play and askes Felix if she was terrible. “The people got their money’s worth,” he replies. Oh Felix.  *heartheartheart*

Felix thinks rehab is the best thing for her right now. Alison has seen things in here, Felix. “I saw a woman shaving her armpits!”

Felix manages to convince her to stay and recover. Yay! Alison might get better!

Sarah lets Kira know she’s going to try to find out what she can about Mrs. S. She’s going to stay with Cal. Kira gives her the golden origami butterfly Cal made her, saying it will keep her safe.

Sarah’s bus is loading and she thanks Cal for watching Kira. Cal uses the ‘Dad’ word and I shudder. Whatevs, Cal. Still curious, Cal asks Sarah the name of the corporation that Sarah managed to piss off so much and she finally tells him it’s the DYAD Institute. Cal looks like he’s about to throw up but manages to joke that she must have really gotten under their skin. “They sorta got under mine first,” Sarah says, and gets on the bus.

Meanwhile: The branches Sarah and Cal placed over the car wreck start moving and a bloody and pissed off Daniel pokes his head out. He’s alive!

Mrs. S. puts on her hottest outfit and tracks down Carlton. They seem to have quite the history. Then they immediately have sex. In the hotel hallway. Yuck.

Not this Carlton,

Not this Carlton.

This Carlton.

This Carlton.

Sarah breaks into Mrs. S.’s house. It’s still all torn apart. Felix is there too and thinks they’re being robbed so he runs into the room and scares the living crap out of Sarah. He tells her she’s a ‘shite’ burglar. He coolly asks where his niece is and just as coolly says he was too busy to answer Sarah’s texts. Too busy looking completely fierce in that outfit is more like it!

Like, Sasha Fierce!

Like, Sasha Fierce!

Donnie is waiting for Alison in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to him but the nurse leaves them alone. Alison accuses Donnie of putting her in here but he says she agreed. She’s angry at him but is shocked when he tells her he doesn’t think she should be around the kids until she completes the program. He has a lawyer and that’s what the lawyer says too. She stands there, mouth open, and he tells her to get well, kissing her on the cheek as he leaves.

Sarah and Felix find newspaper clippings about Carlton. Sarah remembers him bringing her to Mrs. S. through his pipeline. The clipping says he got 15 years for his people smuggling. They also find a clipping about a laboratory explosion that killed two scientists and guess what, their last names were Duncan. As in: Rachel Duncan, pro clone and stone cold bitch. Looks like they were Rachel’s parents and Mrs. S. knows a whole hell of a lot.

Mrs. S. and Carlton are done with all the public sex and having a drink. Mrs. S. wants to know about Project Leda. Sounds like Carlton dropped Sarah off at Mrs. S’s and said to hide her well. Mrs. S. says she knows what Sarah is and Carlton says then she knows more than him, and that’s the way he likes it. All he can offer is the ‘ferryman’, a man named Cassoff. She tells him to lead her to it. Apparently if Sarah finds out any more, “…a whole world of shit is going to unravel.”

Rachel texts Daniel’s phone, letting him know her flight is arriving at 8AM. Sarah reads it and finds out where Rachel’s apartment is. It’s a high-class place and Felix knows Troy, the concierge, wink wink. Excellent, cause Sarah wants to sneak in and snoop around to see what she can find out about Rachel. They leave out the front door and as they do the basement door slowly opens. Holy shitsnacks, who was hiding in the basement all that time?

Sarah calls the concierge, pretending to be Rachel the bitch, and coolly gives instructions for him to get her apartment ready for her arrival. She wants this and that and the other thing and also the temperature to be precisely 60 degrees. She tells Troy not to linger and then hangs up on him, just like the real Rachel would. Sarah sneaks her hand on the doorframe just as the door is closing behind a frazzled Troy and manages to slip inside. She hides until Troy leaves and then quickly calls Cosima and Felix.

As Sarah snoops, Cosima updates her on Rachel’s adoptive parents. They were geneticists and went to Cambridge, then went underground doing the Project Leda until they were killed in the lab explosion.

Sarah finds a bunch of suits hanging in the closet. Looks like Rachel’s got herself a boyfriend.

Cosima theorizes that Rachel was the only one raised as self-awake of being a clone, which made her narcissistic. She thinks she was raised without emotional attachments so she could be a corporate leader. Sarah, watching home movies of little Rachel Duncan and her affectionate parents playing and hugging in the park says, “…I don’t think so.” From what she sees, Rachel was plenty loved.

The door to the apartment opens and Sarah quickly hangs up the cell and hides. It’s our favorite jerkface, Daniel! He’s on his cell with Dr. Leekie. Leekie seems pretty worried about Rachel knowing that Sarah’s escaped but Daniel reassures him he’ll find her. Leekie reminds him to be gentle.

Sarah tries to slip out but is caught by Daniel. She thinks he isn’t allowed to hurt her but he proves her wrong by punching her in the face and tying her up in the bathroom. This should go well.

Sarah wakes up. Daniel’s tied her arms up in the shower. He’s decided this is the best place to ‘talk’, seeing as how it’ll be easier to clean the mess. Sarah is frightened but still stubborn and spits in his face. She accuses Daniel of being Rachel’s lover, and therefore her monitor.

Daniel unfolds a straight razor and Sarah can’t help herself – she turns away and hides her face in her arm. Daniel starts sharpening the razor, over and over and over. “Don’t flatter yourself. There’s already too many of you.” He says she won’t be able to tell anyone about anything once they’re done.

Sarah completely believes him at this point and tries to talk him out of this. She’s terrified. “Daniel. Daniel. I look like her. Don’t I? I look just like her.”

“This is happening.” Daniel walks over to her. “This is for me. Don’t fight.”

Daniel grabs her hair and starts cutting behind her ear. Is he cutting it off or cutting a chip implant out? Maybe they putt ne in that time she was examined while pretending to be Beth.

Sarah screams as blood runs down her neck. Tatiana Maslany’s acting is absolutely stunning in this entire scene, and just when I think she can’t thrill me any more, she does in the next few minutes.

Daniel’s ear cutting is interrupted by music coming from the living room. He stops and looks over. “Don’t go anywhere,” he tells Sarah, and goes to investigate. Sarah shakes in fear as the sounds of a fight happen. Gargling, choking sounds are heard and Daniel stumbled back into view. His throat’s been cut. Stunned, Sarah watches him fall to the floor and die.

Her saviour is Helena, but the sight of her twin, still wearing the now blood covered cult wedding dress, sends Sarah into full on hysterics.

Aye carumba!

Aye carumba!

She cowers as Helena slowly comes closer.

Hi, pal!

Hi, pal!

“I followed you from Mother’s house,” Helena tells her. She’s still holding the dripping knife she used to kill Daniel. Sarah screams that she shot Helena, how is she here, she was dead, dead! Helena agrees, saying it’s a miracle. They’re meant to be together.

Helena slowly creeps closer and Sarah screams for her to get away. “Please, seestra,’ Helena begs, shaking. “I need your help. Don’t send me back. I was married…I think. He took something…from inside of me…” She gestures to her uterus with the knife, making a slashing motion and Sarah is even more horrified.

Helena drops the knife and slowly embraces Sarah, who completely breaks down and weeps pitifully, placing her cheek against Helen’s forehead.

This scene killed me. Killed.

This scene killed me. Killed.

(During that scene my husband, forgetting for a moment that it was just Tatiana, said, “They did a fantastic acting job! I mean, she did.”)

Back at the creepy cult farm, Cowboy Mark and Bonnie report that Helena is gone despite their efforts to find her. No worries, Henrik says.

“Well, just when the night is darkest, he shines a light.” He looks up at the microscope monitor. A cell is dividing into two. “And a new life begins.”

Helena Jr. She's going to kick everyone's ass

Meet Helena Jr. She’s going to kick everyone’s ass