Orphan Black 3×10 – History Yet to Be Written

Cophine 4evah

Cophine 4evah

Previously: LONDONTOWN, Helena took care of business, Delphine took care of business, Donnie took care of business, Gracie took care of business and Mrs. S sang a song.

I’m not sure how I feel about this season ender. There’s good. There’s bad. It felt disjointed, like a lot of scenes but not a flowing episode. That said, I enjoyed most of it and I’m looking forward to seeing what they pull out for season four. Let’s get started, shall we?



Rachel’s dreaming of her childhood: her father killing himself, reading to her, Kira and Charlotte playing in the snow , young Rachel playing in the leaves with her mother. She cries in her dream. She doesn’t want her father to leave her again.

She wakes and finds herself in a large, majestic room. It feels almost like a museum or a fancy zoo. There’s a note on a table with a beautiful silver mirror next to it. Rachel reads the note and picks up the mirror, scared. Her new eye isn’t an exact match like it was supposed to be. It’s robotic looking.

Art, because this is all he does now, uses his detective pull and lets the Clone Club use an old warehouse that’s been tied up in court for months. No one will find them there, and they’ve gotten Scott to set up a kill room in the middle of the place. Ok, it’s not a kill room but whatever, that’s what it looks like. They get their trusty original, Kendall AKA Mrs. S’s Ma, into some medical onesie with a hood and sit her inside. Kendall is her usual salty self and between her and Mrs. S so much LONDONTOWN slang is dropped that I feel like I’m watching a foreign film.

There’s so much plot being thrown at us in this episode. Mrs. S threatens to kill off her Ma if it looks like Castor is coming to get any of Kendall’s DNA. Sarah calms her down; no one will hurt the original. She’s one of them. As they leave, Sarah says she feels Castor coming for them.

Speaking of Castor, Rudy is on his last legs and doesn’t have much time left. The traitor that sold out Hot Paul is meeting up with him and Mother. He thanks Rudy for his service. He obviously is saying that Rudy is about to keel over at any minute.  Mother sends Rudy after Alison, the clone weak link, who’s doing a moment of campaigning before the final vote. She has a loudspeaker and a bus and her winning smile.

Back at the Hendrix home, Donnie has a surprise for Helena. He opens the garage door to reveal…

Oh hot damn, it's Helena's boyfriend!

Oh hot damn, it’s Helena’s boyfriend!

“Howdy Helena,” Jessie says.

“Howdy Jesse Towing,” Helena answers. They smile at each other while sweet, happy music mixed with Helena’s creepy music swells. This is both adorable and strange. Just like Helena.

Cosima goes to apologize to Shay, who wants none of it. Can’t say I blame her. She tells Cosima to leave. Ouch.

Delphine slips a gun into her coat for protection right before Ferdinand arrives at DYAD for their meeting. He’s pissed about Sarah finding the original and the hold Delphine has over him. “There’s nothing I love more than being under the heel of a woman…but sometimes it makes me seeeeeeth.

Damn I love that line Ferdinand you nasty, evil, twisted little sexy weasel.

Ferdinand wants the original and power over Delphine but that’s not going to happen. Instead, Sarah walks out and tells him she’ll give him one chance at a deal.

Ferdinand gloats over how the last time he was here Sarah was in the basement lockup but she reveals the truth, quoting ‘Rachel’. “You’ve come all this way across the pond. Why not try some local colour?” Sarah says in her Rachel voice.

Ferdinand steps close. “Who’s a dirty clone?” he whispers.

“You are,” Sarah whispers back and he knows it was her all along and not Rachel.

He can’t have Kendall but he can have samples. Sarah wants Castor dead. They’ve decided he’s the lesser of two evils. They don’t want this weaponized like Mother is trying to do.

Cosima goes to the secret warehouse to get blood and tissue samples from Kendall. Kendall is scared and angry and defensive and dropping more LONDONTOWN slang like it’s going out of style. She threatens Cosima but looks more like a frightened hurt animal backed into a corner. Cosima smiles and says her favourite greeting: “Hey. I’m Cosima.” She manages to talk Kendall down and Kendall allows her to take her samples.

Art detectives and tracks down the address of the motel where Mark and Ginger Gracie are staying. He tells Sarah and Fee who go to confront them. Fee kicks in the door like a badass and Mark and Gracie explain they just want to be together until Mark dies. Mark agrees to help them.

Mrs. S has sulphuric acid , a tub of sorts, and an apron. She’s still smarting about her Ma killing her husband John all those years ago. Sounds to me like John was a real a-hole and got what he deserved, frankly.

Delphine goes to check on Rachel, who isn’t Rachel, keep up guys. She immediately notices the manicure and as she leans closer to look, Krystal wakes up, flailing her arms and smacking Delphine in the face. Krystal is frantic and immediately recognizes Delphine. Delphine is shocked when she realizes what’s going on.

Helena sits in Jesse’s tow truck and catches him up on what’s happened so far. They kiss, softly at first, and then all of Helena’s feels kick in. She jumps on top of Jesse, kissing him wildly. He’s both into it and taken aback until she pushes him against the seat and delivers her greatest line ever: “I have science baby inside me. But you are my first.” I KNEW IT. Told you that was probably her first kiss at the bar and now it’ll be her first time with her boyfriend that she loves.

And Jesse’s like totes into it. They kiss some more but are interrupted by a call from Helena’s brother-seestra. The family needs her. She’s going to wait a little longer for her Jesse love. DAMMIT WRITERS.

Alison votes for herself, gets her photos in and boards the Alison Bus with her supporters. As they drive away Rudy follows them, just like the Clone Club thought he would. Oh, the Clone Club is totally three steps ahead of everyone this episode.

Alison gets dropped off at home and the bus drives off. Rudy follows her into the garage but finds Helena waiting inside. They’re gonna fight, and it’s going to be prison rules. Only one leaves alive. Helena’s taped her weapons to her hands and offers it to Rudy as well but he waves it off. “You’re going to regret that when I slice your bicep,” she says, and then kicks the duct tape roll into his face. HAHA RUDY YOU CHUMP.



Mark comes to the warehouse and lets Sarah punch him in the face so he looks all beaten by Helena. That Sarah throws a gorgeous punch. I don’t see why they had to actually beat the ever lasting crap out of him and instead didn’t just throw on some makeup but I guess they didn’t have time or effects skills.

Mark calls Mother pretending to be Rudy and tells her he followed Alison but found and fought Helena, and they lead him right to the original. He turns his phone around to show her Kendall tied to a chair, angry as a wet cat and spitting out more LONDONTOWN slang. He texts Mother the location.

Mother pulls up to where she thinks Kendall is and waits in the car as her men run inside. Ferdinand’s goon shoots her driver in the head and Ferdinand steps inside the car and sits beside her. She knows the gig is up.

Helena and Rudy fight but he’s glitching badly and dying. She fulfils her threat and stabs him through his bicep with her screwdriver.

He falls to the ground and lays frozen as Helena stares at him. “You are winding down like toy.”

His time is up. As he dies he tells her about his childhood. He snuggled with his brothers like puppies. Helena lays next to him and whispers that when she was nine she was made to kill her puppy. Different upbringing, both killers. Rudy tries to say they’re the same, that they had a purpose like her.

“No. You are rapist.” Helena watches him die.



Mrs. S, Kendall and Sarah chat. Mrs. S asks her ma to explain some things. Kendall got a visit from Duncan about the clones and said the Neolutionists were after him. Kendall found Sarah and gave her to Mrs. S to hide. There’s tears. Oh god this is so confusing these people and their emotions and their secrets.

Dr. Nealon is in Rachel’s movie screen room, his hands cuffed in front of him. Delphine reads from a file about Rachel’s escape to Austria and subsequent disappearance. She wants to know where Rachel is and who Nealon works with. He tells her to turn on the screen what do we see but a live feed or recording of surveillance of Rachel’s room as she wheels around in her chair yelling for answers about being imprisoned.

Delphine figures out it’s the Neolutionists. Nealon tells her she has no idea what’s going on, that they’ve been steering it all since the beginning. Topside, Leda, Castor, Neolution has been in charge all along and no one knew. He offers her a place with them. Ha. She scoffs, saying he’s finished, and turns to call for her guards. Oh guess what, the guards have all taken off. That’s not good.

Nealon is doing something weird with his mouth. I can’t decide if he’s biting or what but there’s a bit of blood happening. He jumps up and starts strangling Delphine and jesus wtf there’s a bloody, slithery worm thing coming out of his mouth and he’s trying to force it into Delphine’s mouth as she struggles and fights in terror until she finally manages to shoot him with her gun that she’s hidden from earlier.

Noo what why help ew

Noo what why help ew

He falls to the ground and she jumps up, frantically wiping away Nealon’s blood that dripped on her face. The worm slides back into his mouth as he wheezes and tells her, “You won’t live till morning.” Oh god, is it the blood? Or will the Neolutionists kill her?

Delphine picks the still squirming evil worm out of Nealon’s dead mouth and calls Sarah to tell her not to give any genetic material to Ferdinand. She says to tell Ferdinand that Rachel is still alive, the Neolutionists have her, and that both Leda and Castor are controlled by them. Fedinand’s goon pauses his swabbing of Kendall’s arm for blood samples when Sarah announces this but Ferdinand tells him to continue and picks up a nearby bat. He’s menacing and furious and at first it looks like he’s going to attack Sarah and Mrs. S and Kendall but instead he swings and beats his goon to a pulp. Like, right in his goon face. It’s amazing and icky.

“We’re everywhere,” the goon groans through his life ending injuries and Ferdinand is pissed, yo. He hates Neolutionists! “I knew it! They’re like ticks! You never know when you’ve got one on you!”

Damn Neolutionists!

Damn Neolutionists!

Ferdinand puts on the apron, all the while talking and planning. Looks like they’re all BFFs now. He tells them to hide Kendall (which Mrs. S has already planned) and not to tell him where. He’ll be in touch. And oh, they should probably leave now cause he’s going to dump his goon in the tub of sulfuric acid. The goon groans as he’s dragged towards it. “Oh, stop whining, “ Ferdinand tells him. This guy is my new favorite villain.

And now! Clone Dinner Party! Helena, Alison, Cosima, Sarah, Donnie, Felix, Art, Mrs. S and Scott are all gathered around a table at Bubbles. This scene is fricking flawess you guys. The CGI looks terrific. I’m impressed.

Alison get’s the call. She won! She beat Marci Coates! She beat her like a French meringue.

Meanwhile, Delphine goes to Shay to apologize. She tells Shay Cosima belongs with her. Blah blah blah, truth, give Cosima this card.

But what does it all mean, Basil?

But what does it all mean, Basil?

At the dinner party, Sarah makes a toast to Beth. Helena jumps up and toasts her seestras and Kira. Alison makes a speech thanking her seestras and friends and of course her fantastic husband Donnie. He kisses her firmly and I am so happy that they’re happy.

Alison tells them all to save room for the ‘ethnic cake’ that Helena made. “Babka cake,” Helena pipes up around a mouthful of roast beef. Alison and Donnie are very confused by this cake and ask if it’s a meat cake lololol. “No.” Helena says, still eating. FYI it’s a Ukrainian cake traditionally baked in large coffee tins so it’s tall.

Delphine calls Cosima, who meets her outside Bubbles. She was invited for dinner but she can’t stay. Delphine tells Cosima to keep the genome sequence safe and Kendall hidden. Luckily Mrs. S is good at hiding people. Cosima mans up and thanks Delphine for helping her. She’s sorry she made her make the hard decisions and then blamed her for them. Delphine kisses Cosima one final time and tells her to give her sisters all her love. She leaves. FOREVER. :'(

Delphine drives to a parkade. As she walks, someone follows her. Delphine knows what’s coming and closes her eyes. She stops walking and, in a move that mirrors Beth’s in the very first episode, slowly puts her purse down in resignation. I wondered if she was going to take her shoes off to but she doesn’t.

She turns to look at her killer. We don’t see who it is but Delphine obviously knows the person and it’s another betrayal. “What will happen to her?” she asks. Her answer is a bullet in the stomach. It’s deliberate, done to cause as much pain as possible. This is why I think it’s Shay cause of what Delphine did to her. But what do I know. One day we’ll find out who did it. One day.

Delphine cries out in pain and slides to the ground, shaking. We don’t officially see her die so let’s hold a shred of hope she’s still alive and hanging out with Hot Paul right now (RIP Hot Paul I will always pretend you are not dead though!) and teaching him French: “Hot Paul est très chaude n’est il pas?” Oui. Oui il est, Delphine.

We finally get to see who’s keeping Rachel in her prison. I mean, besides the Neolutionists. Little gimpy legged clone Charlotte limps in. Remember her? She tells Rachel that Dr. Duncan said Rachel was going to be her new Mom. Rachel looks up as Duncan walks in. Yes. It’s her Mother. She’s not dead!!!! TWIST. They fooled us all. Oh man, Rachel will never let her Mother go.

Doth mine robot eye deceive me?

Doth mine robot eye deceive me?

And the big ending: Sarah, Mrs. S and Kendall skidoo out in Iceland to meet up with Kira. Sarah is so happy and they hug and stare at each other. Yayyyy. All I can notice, however, is that they’re all wearing Canada Goose parkas that are seriously so expensive you guys. I’ve lived in Winnipeg, Manitoba where the winters reach -35 on a regular basis and I don’t even own one but I’m an idiot. But seriously you guys, they’re like $900 a pop.


So. A little bit of a whirlwind with the plot and twists and tons of scenes but overall an ending full of hope. See you next year!


small whoo hoo

WHOO HOO! See ya in season four, fellow Clone Clubbers!